Sexual Anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: The Basics

Sexual Anatomy - The Basics

Sexual anatomy is not something to be ashamed of! It is one of the gifts of a monogamous relationship and of consensual adult sex!

For you to get the most out of your sexual experiences, we must first understand our body. If you have never spread your legs and looked at your genitals in a mirror, that is step one.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is just one part of your body. You must know your sexual anatomy, and then you get to share it with your consenting adult partners!

Also, sex in porn is not real. It is entertainment and a movie. Question the media you are consuming if you believe your relationship and sex life is not to par with those around you.

Let's start with female sexual anatomy, or the anatomy of those assigned female at birth.

Women’s Bodies or Those Assigned Female at Birth

The Vulva

The vulva is the main visible component of female sexual anatomy. It is commonly referred to as the vagina, and the vagina is specifically just the hole that the babies come out of, the menstruation comes out of, and one of the places of pleasure.

The vulva is the external part of the female genitals. The mons veneris (meaning “hill of Venus,” the Roman goddess of love) is the top part of the vulva where pubic hair grows. There is often a layer of fatty tissue on this pubic bone to protects from the impact of penetrative sexual intercourse.


Sexual Anatomy



The outer lips (labia minora) go around to protect the inside.


Pulling these outer lips open, you will expose the inner labia (labia minora), which do not have any hair on them.


All women’s lips have different colors, sizes, and shapes. The inner lips are there to protect the clitoris, urethra, and the vagina.


Usually the lips (both inner and outer) are sensitive to touch.


The Clitoris


The clitoris is the only organ in the body whose sole function is for pleasure. It looks like a small button right at the top of the outer lips. There is a piece of skin, just inside the inner labia, known as the clitoral hood. This protects the clitoris from getting too much direct stimulation. The clitoris is the most excitable part of the female genitalia, because this is where most pleasurable sensation comes from. There are more nerve endings in the clitoris than in the head of a man’s penis, which makes it extremely sensitive to touch and stimulation. The clitoris goes deep inside the body as well (the internal clitoris).

Sexual Anatomy

The Urethra


The urethra is a tiny hole about an inch to two inches below the clitoris. This is where women urinate from and where female ejaculate comes from.


The Vagina


Under the urethra is a bigger hole, which is the vagina. This is where women are penetrated during digital (fingers) or penetrative (penis) intercourse. It is where blood comes from during a menstrual period, and it is part of the birth canal.

The vagina has most of its nerve endings in the first third of the opening. If the entire vagina had numerous nerve endings, it would be extremely painful to give birth through the vaginal canal.


The lack of nerve endings in the vagina is what accounts for the difficulty many women have in achieving orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

Vaginal orgasms stem from stimulation of the internal clitoris. Most women also need direct stimulation of the external clitoris. Therefore, women should not feel bad or inadequate if vaginal penetration alone is not enough. Women should be able to explain exactly what they need to their partners if they cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.


Bartholin’s Glands


Bartholin's glands are the first step in lubrication. It is similar to pre-come (male ejaculate) for women. These two small glands are near the bottom of the vulva with openings on either side of the vagina. They are located underneath the skin, and they provide a small amount of lubricant.


The G-spot


It is more of an area than a spot. Some indicate that you can locate the G-spot by inserting your fingers into your vagina and make the “come here” motion.

When a woman is aroused, this area can get harder, and the texture can change. Some believe that the G-spot is the location of the internal bulbs of the clitoris, which are located behind the left and right walls of the vagina. Therefore, the G-spot is mostly an area... an area about two inches in on the top part of the vagina, facing the internal clitoris region.

Stimulating this at the same time as the external clitoris can create tons of pleasure for women.

The G-spot is one of the most famous areas of female sexual anatomy!


Sexual Anatomy

The Hymen


A piece of tissue that lines the vaginal opening. It is the “cherry” that is referred to in the common “popped her cherry” slang expression. The hymen is no barometer on whether or not a woman is a virgin. This tissue can be stretched with a finger, tampon, or anything inserted into the vagina. Sometimes the hymen wears away naturally, and sometimes it remains so thick that it makes first penetration extremely painful. If intercourse continues to be painful after penetrated, there is a chance that this barrier has not been broken, and a women can see a gynecologist, who can help with this.


The Perineum


The piece of skin from the bottom of the vulva to the anus is called the perineum. There are not many nerve endings here for women, and sometimes doctors cut through this skin to open the canal for vaginal births.


The Anus


The anus has numerous sensitive nerve endings. Many people practice anal sex, and it is important to note that the anus also has the capacity to be penetrated as the vagina does. The only difference is that the anus does not self-lubricate, as does the vagina.

Therefore, when engaging in anal sex, make sure to use a lot of lubricant.


Male Sexual Anatomy or the Anatomy of Those Misgendered Male at birth.


The Penis


In the United States, there is a tendency to put a good deal of emphasis on penis size. In popular media the question is often “How big is he?” which implies the underlying notion that being bigger is better.


Bigger is not always better when we talk about sexual anatomy.


It is is your relationship with the penis that matters.


If you or your partner’s penis gives you pleasure, it is perfect regardless of size.




It is currently debated in this country whether a man should have a circumcised penis or not. The popular narrative seems to elevate circumcised penises as better or more desirable.


Many women indicate that non-circumcised penises have led to more pleasure for them and their partners, because non-circumcised penises are more lubricating than circumcised ones.


Some women prefer the look of a circumcised penis, while others do not notice much of a difference. There is nothing to be concerned about if you encounter a non-circumcised penis. It just has some extra skin called the foreskin, which covers the head of the penis while flaccid, and retracts back when the penis is erect. But being a circumcised penis or not is just an aesthetic detail in the sexual anatomy.




If a women is in a sexual encounter with a male partner and he is not hard, that is totally normal. Pornography depicts men as always ready to go.

They see a naked woman and are hard almost immediately. Life is not like that.

If you see that your partner’s penis is soft, but he is in the moment with you and giving other signs that he is into the sexual act and enjoying himself, I encourage you to let go of the notion that it should be hard immediately and continue to enjoy each other sexually.

A soft penis is not an automatic indication that your partner is not into the sexual experience.

Soft penises are an indication that blood has not yet entered the penis.

Desire begins in the mind.

Getting upset about a physiological response that those with penises may not have mental control over ruins the moment more than a soft penis does.

Do not put pressure on yourself unless it becomes a constant problem that you can never get an erection while with a partner.

If this is the case, it may be time to discuss what is happening and consult a physician, urologist, and a sex therapist.


Difference Between Orgasming and Ejaculating


Most people think that it is easy to tell when men have orgasmed, because they ejaculated. Although most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, this is not always the case. There is a difference between orgasming and ejaculation. Ejaculation is the fluid that is dispelled from the body.

Orgasm can be the emotional, mental, and physical part of this process. People can achieve full-body orgasms using breath-work and relaxation of the mind and body. Sometimes an ejaculatory and full-body orgasm can occur together, and other times, the male body can orgasm without the penis ejaculating at all.




It is important to understand your anatomy and your partner’s body. Feel free to talk with your friends and sexual partner about your body. Instead of shaming the body, as many are taught to do while growing up, praise it as well as the body of your sexual partner. If you feel attracted to your partner, make sure to say which exact body parts you value. Doing this will also set up the framework for you to appreciate your own body.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!


Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Sex Connecticut

What is Sexology?

What Is Sexology and What Is It For?

Sexology is the science that studies sex, that simple! To be more specific, it is the science that studies the sexuality of the human being, sexual behavior and its different manifestations. All of these from the psychological and physiological point of view.


A sexologist is a professional who performs various tasks: sexual education, guidance, couples’ counseling and intervention, and research.


The professional will treat the patient from the psychological and therapeutic point of view since there is a diversity of problems which can be extended to both fields. Including everything that has to do with the relationship between men and women, not only about sexual perfomance; but what happens to their lives too.


Communication’s problems, affective needs, maternity-paternity issues, and mediation in separation and divorces are also issues that a sexologist can deal with.


Since we have a sex negative and pleasure negative culture, the field of clinical sexology is imperative. - Amanda Pasciucco


Sexology also serves as a post-traumatic tool in situations where the sexual integrity of a person has been violated. When sexual abuse occurs, the victim is so affected that psychological therapy is necessary to overcome the trauma. Also, sexual therapy helps to regain his/her sexual life.



The governing body for sex therapist is American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) mentions as its vision of sexual health to be one where, all individuals are entitled to enjoy:

  • Respect of their sexual thoughts, feelings and fantasies
  • The right to engage in healthy modes of sexual activity,
  • Freedom to exercise behavioral, emotional, economic, and social responsibility for their bodily functioning
  • The power to chose their mode of loving, working, and playing


AASECT believes that these rights pertain to all peoples whatever their age, family structure, backgrounds, beliefs, and circumstances"


How do I know if I should go to the sexologist or another professional?


It is common for a person who encounters a difficulty in their sexual life to ask which specialist should go. To the gynecologist, the urologist, the general practitioner, the endocrinologist, the psychologist, the sexologist ...? The answer varies depending on the specific problem, and whether it has a physical cause or not.

sexologistJust as the sexologist can refer you to another professional, other professional can refer you to the sexologist. This happens when they find that a certain sexual problem exceeds their field of work.




Sometimes we have problems in our sexual life and, instead of going to a specialist consultation to help us overcome this problem, we let it go by playing down the importance. However, in the same way that when you hurt your teeth you go to the dentist, if there is any dysfunction in your sex life you should go to the specialist: the sexologist.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire when it comes to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Latin sex therapist

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples sex counseling is a powerful type of therapy that can enable couples to work through issues and transform their relationships. Most of us have not had much training or education in relationships and sex, yet these areas are critical to maintaining happy and fulfilling lives. This is why counseling can be a very valuable tool.

Couples Counseling

Why Try Couples Sex Counseling?


Have you ever considered going to couples sex counseling? Couples sex counseling benefits those who want to improve the quality of their sex life, regain intimacy and ignite passion in their lives. Counseling can address many other issues that impact a relationship, for example:

  • Low sexual self-esteem
  • Traumas
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional distance
  • Jealousy
  • Infidelity
  • Lack of trust
  • Family conflicts


If you or your partner are interested in going to a professional, you need to trust your therapist. He or she is not there to benefit one client and blame the other.


Couples Sex Counseling Method


At Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT), we utilize the PLISSIT model.This is a system used in the field of clinical sexology to determine the different levels of intervention for clients. The PLISSIT model offers a succinct method for introducing sex into a clinical conversation, narrowing the scope of a patient’s concern and offering effective counseling and treatment. Its name is derived from the four levels of the model: permission, limited information, specific suggestions, and intensive therapy. (source:


Our clients go home and try different techniques to work on their sexual issue. The issues we work on with our clients can include: erectile dysfunction, pelvic pain, low desire, no desire, or desire discrepancy.


Asking for Help is Not Failing!


If you believe that going to couples sex counseling is a sign of failure, think again!  Sex involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, which can make it very complex. Physical, psychological, and emotional issues all directly affect our sexuality.


Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what he or she needs and likes is essential to having amazing sex! For instance, ask your partner "Do you like this level of pressure?"


Sex can be complicated. Sex can be wonderful. However you may experience new problems due to unresolved sex issues.


What Can Couples Sex Counseling do for You?


Change the perspective of the relationship


The therapist encourages both partners to see their relationship in a more objective way, including from each other's perspective.


Improve communication


Many couples have difficulties, and many are not able to reach practical solutions. Only by discussing their problems can couples start to fix them. Our therapy process and Amanda’s 90-Day Couples Makeover promote a constructive, respectful dialogue where couples can openly express their emotions and ideas. We enable clients to communicate more effectively and listen more attentively.


Build on the strengths of the relationship


It is better for couples to focus on the positives in their relationship. For this purpose, the therapist can act as a mediator to help rediscover common interests and help the couple create the relationship for a better future. One technique couples sex counselors use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.


At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!


Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Female Orgasm

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

Female Orgasm: Seven Areas of Pleasure

female orgasm

There are many areas of female orgasm, and each are delicious ways of experiencing pleasure.

Today we are speaking to those who have vulvas, not just those who identify as females, because all are welcome here!

An orgasm is the body's response to receiving sexual stimulation from intimate encounters, caresses or intercourse.

For all people. blood accumulates in the genital area during the sexual stimulation process, and it is released when the bodily function of orgasm occurs.

Orgasms are accompanied by a series of sensations that often produce intense pleasure and feelings of sexual satisfaction, adrenaline, oxytocin, and other feel good hormones! 

If I didn't mention the power of the brain and imagination in orgasm, I would be doing us all a disservice. You have to be turned on in your mind - of course! Psychosexual therapy exercises may help if this doesn't make any sense to you!

After you get warmed up, come join us in the seven areas of female orgasms! 

1. Sex for One or More! Clitoral Pleasure in Female Orgasm

This is the most favored area to achieve female orgasm thanks to 8,000 nerve endings. The clitoris is designed to give pleasure and 80% of women report needing direct stimulation of the clitoral glands to have an orgasm.

The sensation is often localized, sharp, powerful, and quick in duration.

Rubbing, oral sex, the use of sex toys or certain postures that favor the friction of the pubis are ways to trigger clitoris stimulation.

2. Entering the Vagina

The walls of the vagina have thousands of nerves that require a patient stimulation rhythm to achieve orgasm. The thing is that the vagina doesn't have the same amount of pleasure that comes from the areas where the clitoris is involved. This is likely due to minimize pain women feel in vaginal childbirth. 

3. Cervical Pleasure

This type of orgasm takes its name from the cervix, which is the female reproductive organ that connects with the uterus. The cervix is three centimeters long and 2.5 centimeters in diameter. First, understand where your cervix is located, and then instruct your partner to massage it with intense strokes. The "doggy style" sex position is good, because penetration is intense and deep.

4. A-Spot Pleasure

The A-spot orgasm is found in the vagina and creates more intense female orgasms - even multiples! The A spot or Anterior Fornix Erogenous (AFE) zone, was reported to be discovered in the 90's by Malaysian doctor, Chua Chee Ann.

It is located above the G spot about 7.5 centimeters from the entrance of the vagina, and on the anterior side, near the cervix.

If you want to explore finding it, sexual positions with penetration from behind, or the missionary position of the jackhammer will help! 

5. The Famous G-Spot

This is one of the most sought after orgasmic experience I am asked about!

Try the following to find your G spot:

  1. Insert a finger into the vagina.
  2. Feel for the front wall (the side where the navel is located).
  3. Move your finger around until you find a spot that feels different when you press or rub it.
  4. If you feel the urge to urinate, do not be concerned - this is normal and it's a good sign.

The most unique aspect of a G spot orgasm is that it can be accompanied by female ejaculation, which is completely normal.

The urethra releases the ejaculation fluid, and it contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP)! 

6. The "U-Spot"

The U spot is located at the entrance to the urethra (located just above the vaginal orifice in the middle of the lips).

Many women enjoy a gentle stimulation in this area with fingers and tongue. You will find out that if you are interested in this, oil may feel better than lube! 

7. Full-Body Orgasms

Full-body orgasms occur when a female orgasms throughout her entire body. We recommend full-body orgasms as often as possible! Especially during the same sexual session.

This type of pleasure happens the more you love and the more you know your body!  If you need tips on how to experience sexual nirvana, we can help

The skin is a great source of pleasure - for everyone. The mind as well! 

Explore by yourself or with your partner, and the greater your chances will become of achieving pleasure from multiple areas!

If you still can’t find the courage to tell your partner you want to explore female orgasm or if you are scared to venture into the world of female orgasm alone, contact us. We can guide you!


Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained therapists!


Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

queer sex therapy

Improving Couples Sex Life

Improving Couples Sex Life

There are many ways to improving a couples sex life, and we help our clients with skills and techniques based on what works the best for them. For some, the key is improved communication, and for others it's finding ways to address their fantasies. Wouldn't it be wonderful to maintain the same spark a couple had when they first met? Quite often, time and friction from everyday life causes a relationship to become routine and the spark slowly fades away. Many couples surrender, accepting this routine sex life or lack of a sex life and do not believe that it's even possible to improve their sex life.


The reality is that couples just need a relationship reboot in order to ignite their passion.


Below are seven tips on how to keep the spark in your relationship and improve your sex life, because I want you to know that no matter how long you've been a couple, a great sex life is possible at any time.

Work as a Team


You are! When you decided to commit yourselves and spend the rest of your lives together, you began a long path. You will both only be victorious if you work together as a team. You must join together in dealing with adversities. Problems arise all the time. There may be arguments about money, kids, and even your sex life, but the only ones that can solve the challenges are you two - working together. You have to learn from mistakes and accept that the person next to you has flaws.

Spice Things Up


If you are not having a lot of sex, relax, this is not rare and there is a solution. The first thing you should observe is the daily physical contact that you both have with each other. A hug, a kiss on the cheek or a naughty pat are great gestures if you have not been intimate for a long time.


Regular sexual intercourse will naturally increase sexual desire. The same thing applies when sex frequency is low, sexual desire goes down. Having more sex causes the body to start producing more sex hormones that remind you how much you like to have sex.


Variety is one way to improve a couples sex life. It makes things exciting and rewarding. One of the main reasons why couples stop having sex is because it becomes routine, boring and predictable. Individuals need emotion, fun and a touch of mystery to activate their desire.


Plan a regular date night, and forget about the dishes, kids' homework and problems at work. Take a bath together or share a few glasses of wine to get in the mood. These activities work as passion igniters.


Why not venture into something new together? When it comes to bedroom experiences, there are many new things to try in order to improve couples sex life:


  1. Practice Karezza sex (a calm and gentle method).
  2. Masturbate and watch your partner masturbate.
  3. Implement (at least) half of the Kama Sutra’s positions
  4. Have cybernetic sex and/or erotic phone calls.
  5. Be blindfolded while making love.
  6. Wear super sexy lingerie and shop for it together.
  7. Encourage an erotic dance.
  8. Use a vibrator or other type of erotic toy.
  9. Tie up your partner, and another day, let him/her tie you.
  10. Seduce him/her with an erotic costume.
  11. Practice tantric sex
  12. Have sex in the shower.
  13. Read erotic literature.
  14. Try a sexual role play.
  15. Share your fantasies (and put them into practice).
  16. Wake him/her up in the middle of the night to make love.
  17. Practice "wet" fetishism or splosh sex (cover your partner with wet food, such as cream, before having sex)
  18. Have "morning quickies" before going to work.
  19. Make love with candlelight.
  20. View pornography together and try to imitate it.
  21. Play "strip poker" and undress little by little.

Go Out for Adventures Together


Just as you must experiment in the bedroom, you must also do so in everyday life - I am not talking about sex. Go for a walk in the park together, or go out for coffee like you did when you first met. Your relationship is not limited within the house.

It may sound silly or too obvious, but how many times have you heard your partner say "we never do things together” or “we never go anywhere"? There are many options and the most entertaining are usually the lowest cost or free.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate


Communication is not the solution to all your problems, but it is essential if you want to lay the foundation for a strong future. Most detachments occur when we misinterpret the other person or simply stop communicating. Sit down to enjoy a night together and ask again all the things you asked each other when you first met.


Ask For What You Really Want


A common mistake is to wait for your partner to do something without ever telling him/her what it is you desire. Your partner is not a mind reader no matter how much time you have spent together, or how well you think you know each other. If you really want something, express it in the proper way.

Explain What You Think or How You Feel


Clearly say what you think or how you feel - both positive and negative thoughts and feelings, but always be respectful of each other. There is no better way for your partner to understand you than when you show your emotions. Do not assume that your partner will know how you feel.


Take Care of Yourself


You have to invest in yourself in order to improve your self-esteem. Your partner will love you now matter how you look, but when you feel good about yourself it will improve your attitude, which can help with your relationship. Only you can decide if you let external factors affect your self-esteem.


Regular exercise, for example, will not only improve your health, but your body will start producing more serotonin, which regulates the state of mood. That is why it is also known as a happiness hormone. You must love and be happy with yourself so that your partner can also love you without restrictions.




Regardless of the reasons, such as stress, lack of intimacy or poor communication that cause a couple to lose their spark, it is possible to improve couples sex life by breaking out of their routine, trying new things, and acting like they are dating again in order to ignite the passion that originally brought them together.


Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What we do, call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

individual sex therapy

Exercise to Improve Emotional Health

Exercise to Improve Emotional Health and Increase Happiness

Exercise not only helps you lose weight and keep your body healthy, it is also a great help to improve emotional and mental health and well being.


Have you ever wondered why athletes tend to have more energy, less stress and a regular sleep cycle?


There is a large number of researches concerning the advantages of sport over our health - both physical and mental. Practicing any type of exercise allows us to feel joy and tranquility, and reduce stress, anxiety and even pain.

As a general rule all types of exercise are positive for improving physical and mental health (including activities such as housework, although its impact is less intense), but some of the sports that have the greatest advantage for mental health are those that involve teamwork, aerobic or a gym.


Although the hormonal response to exercise depends on age, sex, health and weight, these four hormones will be the first to appear when you put your body in motion:

  • Serotonin:

    A very important hormone to fight depression! It is a substance that significantly influences our mood and is released after physical activity, especially in the open air. Serotonin appears after movement and is responsible for a sensation of calm that moves us away from depressive states, and also allows us to sleep better and regulate food intake, avoiding excesses.


  • Dopamine:

    While this chemical is known to be responsible for feelings such as love and lust, it has more to do with motivation and the cost-benefit relationship, than with the pleasure itself. This is the hormone that allows us to experience a pleasant sensation after exercising, which creates a link between this feeling of pleasure and the activity that pushes us to continue practicing it, as it “hooks” us.


  • Adrenaline:

    Who does not like to feel the rush of adrenaline? We feel adrenaline in extreme moments, sometimes in situations that are not so positive, but we can experience it thanks to extreme sports or adventure sports. This hormone gives us a super human power. It also helps to fight depression, since the release of adrenaline stimulates the creation of our friend - dopamine, which increases mental well being.


  • Endorphins:

    These are the most popular of all hormones and are those that, after exercise, allow us to feel happiness, joy and even euphoria. It works as a natural analgesic, as it reduces the feeling of pain as well as anxiety and stress. It is released immediately after exercise, so you can feel it right away.


Using hormones as our partners we can help our body fight against daily stress and problems that in any other case we would fight with drug medications.


1. Builds Self-Image and Self-Esteem


The continued practice of sports has a positive impact on body image, which has an impact on self-image and self-concept, and enables us to feel more attractive, thus increasing self-esteem.


2. Increases Opportunities to Socialize and Meet New people


Sports are activities that involve a large number of people, and can be a hobby shared by many. This enables common interests with other people, as well as facilitating contact with them. In addition, there are a lot of exercises and sports, such as football or basketball, which have teamwork as one of their main components.


3. Stimulates Proactivity and Creativity


Exercise increases our blood flow, which helps increase our creativity. In addition, it takes us away from the routine and gives us time to have new ideas.


4. Improves Concentration and Memory


Another advantage that has been observed is that sports help to improve concentration and targeting capacity, as well as memory and general cognitive capacity. This can result in improved academic and work performance.


5. Improves the Sleep Cycle


We have all done some exercise on occasion. After doing it, we have probably felt tired and relaxed, and were able to sleep more easily and soundly. It has been scientifically proven that regular exercise makes it easier to fall asleep.


6. Stops Cognitive Decline


It has been observed that people who exercise regularly tend to be less likely to suffer cognitive impairment or dementia such as Alzheimer's, or to slow down its deterioration in the early stages.


7. Combats Abstinence Syndrome and Addictions


Regular exercise is a recommended activity to combat addictions since it slows down the feeling of desire to consume.


Make exercise a regular part of your life to improve your mental well-being. If vigorous exercise is not possible, consider yoga and tantra, which are also great at increasing our famous hormones: serotonin, dopamine and endorphin. The key is to wake up the sleepy hormones caused by a sedentary lifestyle in order to enjoy a healthier and happier life.


Stay happy and healthy!

Pascale Lean and Amanda Pasciucco


Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What we do, call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

Gay man

Tantric Sex

What is Tantric Sex?

Many people think that tantric sex is similar to "Kama Sutra", but it has nothing to do with it.


The "Kama Sutra" is a book with a series of sexual postures, and tantric sex refers to the practice of Tantra, which is a philosophy and method from India that enhances the sexual experience.


Tantric sex practice is not based on ejaculation as the milestone, but on feeling and asking for what you want. It is about women having the highest number of orgasms possible and men enduring ejaculation so that they can last as long as they want to during sex.


"Sex is the door to something powerful and mystical," said American filmmaker David Lynch, but for some, it's just a repetitive 'get-out' that has no other intention than to achieve a passing orgasm.


tantric sex

The secret of tantric sex lies in putting aside the urgency of orgasm, and concentrating on thoughtful and delicate movements. It is about using the whole body and mind, and having a constant and patient strategy to enable a couple to melt together slowly.


Caressing and being caressed stimulates the senses. Each "conscious touch" such as blowing, licking, and sucking the part of the body that your partner likes can be a drop of fullness, just like kissing. Sounds are also very stimulating, such as a whisper, sigh, moan, cry and scream.


In the practice of conscious love, there is nothing more important than connecting with the eyes, which transmit compassion, mischief, pleasure and complicity.


The most important thing about sexual positions and movements is that they are comfortable and allow a couple to express tenderness or excitement. Forward, backward, up or down - everything is valid.


Tantric sex does not have a gender specificity. Tantra seeks fullness and advises men to explore their feminine side and women to find their masculine qualities. An example is the representation of Shiva-Shakti, the creator god and the supreme energy of creation. In the Khajuraho temples you can see figures of men having relationships with men and women having sex with women.


In conventional sex, a man feels an orgasm and simultaneously ejaculates, but in tantric sex he does not ejaculate so he can continue with the sexual act. This is possible with self-control and concentration. A man has to train his body in order to gain this level of self control. Some tips for self control include:

  • Strengthening the Pubococcygeus muscle (the one that surrounds the pelvic area)
  • Practice and understand what your "point of no return" is
  • Control your breathing


In this way, it is possible for a man to have a controlled orgasm so he can continue with the sexual act for a longer period of time.


How to practice tantric sex?


Tantric sex creates connections and teaches a new way of making love, so being nervous and trying to feel immediate pleasure will only be a distraction.


There are 7 key steps, which you and your partner can control:


1. Prepare the Environment


Start by preparing a welcoming and stimulating environment to create a quiet and calm moment for both of you to share.

  • Dim the lights in the room.
  • Have a subtle aroma that you both like.
  • Play very soft music.
  • Remove anything that can interrupt or distract, such as a mobile phone.


2. Breathe


Breathing is very important since it allows the connection between two people to be extended.

  • Begin by becoming aware of each other's breathing until you can hear it as if it were one.
  • Keep the same rhythm of breathing throughout the entire practice of tantric sex.


3. Observe


Allow yourself to observe and be observed.

  • While sitting facing each other and breathing in a single rhythm, look into each other's eyes.
  • It is normal to feel embarrassed or awkward at first, but try not to lower your eyes or start laughing.
  • Keep your gaze fixed on each other for as long as possible.


4. Feel


Integrate the sense of touch.

  • Caress each other and feel the body of your partner.
  • Make stimulating massage motions.
  • Stop at parts of the body that you haven't discovered before, and take your time to touch and feel without losing the rhythm of your breathing.
  • Allow yourself to enjoy all those sensations that appear throughout the body and see how they increase. Each kiss and caress is much greater, because you are both present in the moment.


5. Trust


This is the point when you can open up more and trust your partner.

  • Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away by him/her
  • Trust what your partner does so that you can enjoy this experience with total freedom and achieve mutual balance.


6. Forget the time


Live in the moment and don't think about the time.

  • With tantric sex, excitement should increase progressively and not quickly or
  • Don't anticipate ejaculation as in traditional sex.
  • It is very important that you give yourself the time to feel all the stimulations in each part of the body, and be very aware of each sensation.
  • It possible to experience non-genital orgasms that feel more like a whole-body orgasm.


7. Dance


You must allow your bodies to dance in perfect balance, moving at your own pace until your bodies create this momentum.


Try these 7 tantric sex steps and enjoy the experience!


Tantric Sex Health Benefits


There are a lot of health benefits when it comes to tantric sex. The practice of this method will positively affect the chemistry of your brain. These are some of the healthy hormones and chemicals released by the endocrine glands during positive sexual experiences:


  • Oxytocin: The “cuddle hormone”, oxytocin may be conditioned to release after a pattern of sex with the same lover has been established. This is what we think of as a “chemical attraction” or “having chemistry” with another person.


  • Human Growth Hormone (HGH): A natural growth hormone that helps maintain the health of tissues and organs, smoothing the skin, and increasing vitality, energy, and resilience. No wonder HGH is sometimes referred to as the “Fountain of Youth.”


  • Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA): This hormone functions as the precursor in the development of sexual hormones - estrogen in women and testosterone in men.


  • Serotonin: The “happy” neurotransmitter helps regulate mood and feelings associated with wellbeing, sexuality, and appetite. It is also a natural sleep aid.


In conclusion, the benefits achieved with the simple yet powerful tantric sex variation include sexual and relationship rejuvenation, increased vitality, and also the destruction of various “taboos”. We invite you to let your curiosity guide you and enjoy this great technique.


Please learn more about how Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What we do, call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.