When Your Wife or Husband is a Flirt Should You Take It Seriously?
When you find out that your husband or wife flirts, how you respond is based on context. Marriage often comes with an expectation of exclusivity. Therefore, it is only normal that you assume your husband or wife will only do certain things with you.
While exclusivity – regarding intimacy – is supposed to be the norm in marriages, it is unfortunately not that easy.
Were They Flirtatious When You First Met?
If you were drawn to your spouse because of their attention-giving nature, then you should probably find it normal that they’re still the same.
Maybe you fell in love with your wife because of the way she brushed your arm whenever she talked to you. It could also be that you were attracted to your husband because he knows how to make women feel on top of the world. In these cases, you may have to worry about nothing.
Getting the attention of others, maybe your husband’s or wife’s way of expressing him/herself. If your spouse has always been keen to respond to the opposite sex nicely, it may help you if you can relax and enjoy their good nature. If you can’t help it, tell them how the act makes you feel, instead of working by assumptions and making your marriage difficult.
You May Not Be Giving Them Enough Attention
Think about this: are you giving your spouse the attention they need and flirting with them? If not, maybe they are resorting to flirting to fill their significance need.
You may be a woman who is passionate about her career and spend little time with your spouse. Or, maybe you’re a man focused on your family and not noticing your partner.
In any case, every human being – especially extroverts – loves to receive and give attention. And suppose you are not available to indulge your spouse. In that case, they may unconsciously begin to get and give attention to any member of the opposite sex that is always ‘available.’ They may do this even when there is no intention to be unfaithful to you.
So if you are always on the move and find out your spouse is a flirt, consider making out more time to be with them.
It Could be a Self-Esteem Problem
If your wife or husband flirts as a means to give their self-esteem a boost, then it could be categorized as a serious problem. When people need others’ validation or attention to feel good about themselves, it means something is wrong somewhere.
It is up to you to help them feel good about themselves, and try to encourage a connection between the two of you. To help your spouse with their self-esteem problem, you must first think about strategies to connect with them that they desire.
If their self-esteem dropped in the course of your marriage, then you may want to consider the things you (both) are not doing right. Even when there is no misunderstanding between you and your spouse, there could be some disappointments they are probably not telling you. These disappointments could undoubtedly affect the way they see themselves.
Is It Towards a Particular Member of the Opposite Sex?
As earlier said, some extroverts may find flirting as a way to express themselves around the opposite sex freely. Most times, these flirtatious behaviors may have no strings attached to them.
However, when you notice that your wife’s or husband’s come-hither expressions are directed to a particular member of the opposite sex, it should be taken seriously. Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be a reason to end your marriage or start to point accusing fingers at your spouse. Do not assume. Please find time to converse with him/her, to get a full grasp of whatever is likely going on.
Also, do not assume the role of an investigator. Monitoring your spouse when you notice that their attention is with someone else doesn’t help. Instead, an open and honest conversion should do the trick here.
Did You Set Boundaries About Flirting with your Husband or Wife?
In every relationship – including marriage – boundaries are crucial to maintaining sanity between the parties involved. While you shouldn’t make your marriage a rule-bound mechanical showroom, boundaries will help you agree on what is acceptable and not.
If you fail to set boundaries, having understood each other’s tendencies, you may end up hurting yourselves. Your husband may not know that he hurts you when he gives ‘unnecessary’ attention to other women.
And your wife may not also know that you do not appreciate her having close contact with other men. When you set boundaries, there would be no reason to worry over what your spouse does or does not do with the opposite sex.
Does Your Spouse Know How Much You Love Them?
Finally, an affirmation of your love may be all your spouse need to stop giving and receiving attention from other members of the opposite sex. How often do you express how much your husband means to you, and how many times in a day do you compliment your wife’s look?
Well, if you fail to tell your wife how good she looks in her new skirt, try not to feel left out when she smiles at her colleague who does. And if you fail to encourage and strengthen your husband when he achieves a milestone, there are courteous women out there who would do it.
In a nutshell, that you take your spouse’s flirtatious behaviors seriously or not will depend on the two of you. Your reaction will also depend on whether or not you both are doing right by yourselves.
And how well you respect, build, and freely express yourselves towards each other will also tell the kind of response you give to your spouse’s cheeky behavior towards the opposite sex.
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