NEDA Week

NEDA Week for Those Recovering from Disastrous Eating Disorders

NEDA Week for Those Recovering from Disastrous Eating Disorders

NEDA week is a special time of year where we come together to honor those who are struggling with eating disorders. 

I began heavily working in the eating disorder field in 2013. Soon enough, I would come to learn what it looks like to fight every day, with challenges are struggles. 

Eating disorders are a serious affliction affecting at least 11 million Americans, and probably more.

Eating disorders are when you have an unhealthy relationship with food that becomes priority over your relationship with others. NEDA week is a time where working in a Partial Hospitalization Program, we would “let loose” and fight back with rituals instead of CBT and DBT.

I will never forget smashing scales with a group of those recovering from their illness. I remember hearing clients say that “NEDA Week gives hope!” 

There are different forms of eating disorders that involve fasting, restricting calories, binge eating. Use of laxatives, over-exercising, and / or purging. 

People struggling with eating disorders might have a fear of being overweight, be obsessed with something in particular with their food, or have unrealistic expectations about how their body ought to look. 

Whether you are struggling with restriction of calories, purging or excessive exercise, or binging, it is time to gain control of your life again and celebrate with us during NEDA week. 

We want you to love the person you see in the mirror!

NEDA Week

 

Our Favorite Exercises: 

  • Cover 60% of your mirrors with things that make you smile 
  • Unfollow EVERY single account that has messages that encourage disordered behaviors
  • Pick one part of your body that you don’t mind. Write yourself a love letter as if you were an admirer!
  • Draw a family tree and track all the people in your life that had negative beliefs about food and body image. Learn to challenge those beliefs! NEDA Week

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


shameless sex

Shameless Sex

Shameless Sex

 

There’s no doubt about it, shameless sex is complex. 

Sex can range from a random fling with someone you met online to intimacy that creates the deepest connection possible.. 

No matter what kind of sex you’re having, there’s often a lot of emotion involved. Even the “casual sex” you think you’re having has something deeper at work.

Whether it’s a want for connection, a desire to outwardly express love, for kicks (or even revenge), sex is about more than just the act of genitals. 

We’re driven by a need to fill a part of us emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically through the “feel-good hormones” that get pumped into our body after lustful, intimate, or sexual connection. 

After sex sometimes feels complicated. 

Have you ever sat and thought about how you’re feeling after sex? 

Unfortunately, a lot of people, for several reasons, feel shame during and after sex. Shame can be a debilitating condition that hampers your ability to enjoy sex and experience everything it can give you.

 

How Sex Education Impacts Our Attitudes About Intimacy

It’s normal for all of us to have grown up in a more conservative environment than the one in which we live now. People’s ideas about morality and sex become more open as they expose themselves to new ideas. It takes time to overcome and discard the narrow thinking of the past.

You may have grown up in a conservative religious home where sex was taboo and not a conversation to be discussed. Abstinence may have been the only option, so you learned to view sex as forbidden. 

The people in your immediate circle – your parents, friends, mentors, and teachers – are more likely to have shared similar beliefs, so there wasn’t much in the way of information to be had.

Without proper preparation, you may not have been ready when you started to encounter sex. Sexual thoughts and acts may have been something you kept in secret. 

Many religious people grow up having to hide even masturbation, something we know now is normal and almost completely universal.

When we associate sex with something bad or shameful, it warps our ability to connect and on a much more basic level enjoy sex! 

It can take years of therapy and so many ups and downs to overcome the feelings of guilt and shame we carried for years.

 

The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

We need to make a distinction here that shame does not equal guilt. They often get bunched together, but they’re very different.

shameless sex

Guilt can be a positive emotion because it helps us adapt and correct harmful or detrimental behavior. It can drive us to become better and push us away from negativity. 

Shame, on the other hand, isn’t a helpful emotion. 

With shame, we veer into the territory of letting our mistakes or something bad that’s happened to us define who we are. Instead of recognizing something we did was bad, we become bad.

Shame can be debilitating. It can trigger anxiety that affects the way we think and interact with those around us. If you’ve struggled with shame in the past, there’s a good chance you’ve struggled with shame in the bed as well.

 

The Baggage We All Carry

The moment we realize that every person we have sex, and every time we have sex, we carry with us certain attitudes and thoughts about who we are and what we’re doing. Baggage can range from something horrible like childhood or sexual trauma to other issues like poor body image.

So often, we let baggage define us. It’s who we feel we are deep inside despite whatever image we project to a one-night stand or our committed partners. Overcoming baggage and identifying shame is so important to enjoying sex. Whether you’re trying to simply have fun and get off, or you long for meaningful eye contact as you make passionate love to someone you love, shedding the shame can give you the permission you need to let loose and enjoy sex.

 

Shameless Sex Through Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a gigantic step we can all take to drop our baggage approach sex more positively. After all, isn’t it time you cut yourself a break?

We tend to take things so seriously, even sex. Have you ever been in bed and listened to some of the negative thoughts that seem to race through your head? “Is he disappointed in my body?” “I’m worried I won’t be able to orgasm.” “Why am I so tense?” When we’re having what should be an amazing experience, we’re busy shooting ourselves down.

Self-compassion, on a very basic level, means cutting yourself a break! Instead of letting the way you feel define you as a person, you put them in a box labeled just what they are, “something you experienced once”. It’s a practice during which we focus on forgiving ourselves for whatever we did or happened to us.

 

Rejecting Shame and Embracing Shameless Sex

If you have trouble relaxing during sex or feel shame about your body, then reading this article isn’t going to solve your problem. You know by now that shame isn’t something you abandon. It’s usually buried deep and digging it up takes work.

Working with a licensed therapist can help you recognize shame and other detrimental emotions that prevent you from enjoying sex and other aspects of your life.

Don’t worry, you’re here because you know sex should be fun and something enjoyable.

Shameless sex is something a lot of us aspire to and are working earnestly towards. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you and that one magic day all of your problems and shame around sexual issues will disappear.

Experiencing shameless sex starts with the desire to get better.

Shameless sex for people who have wrestled with shame in the past is something we’re constantly working on. We learn how to forgive ourselves for being human and maybe even laugh at ourselves once in a while. It’s all part of the process of approaching sex is a more realistic, positive way.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Body Positivity

Body Positivity for People of all Identities and Abilities

 Body Positivity for People of all Identities and Abilities

Body positivity for all people is our goal!

What is body positivity, you may ask?

Body positivity is a view of the body that is focused on the strengths and characteristics of our bodies, while avoiding discussions of “fat” or “skinny” and shaming of other bodies.

One of the main complaints in sexual satisfaction is that individuals, of all identities and abilities, discuss that they “hate their body.”

If you hate your body, it is going to be challenging to be body positive, AND it is may have a strong correlation between experiencing difficulty in achieving pleasurable sex.

 

Why It’s Easy to Hate Your Body!

Body Positivity can be a challenge for all, especially since we are conditioned to look for the negative instead of the positive.

Although looking for the negative is a survival mechanism that keeps us safe and alive, it often deprives us of the richer feelings of life that positivity brings.

Whether you know it or not, messages about how to design your relationships and your sexual satisfaction, who we ought to be, and what we ought to look like are culturally conditioned into us.

If you think about your upbringing… think about how everything you have learned has been filtered to you through your family, schools, media, or other communities you are a part of.

When I really think about it, it is no wonder hate is easier than love.

However, let’s not accept this! Let’s strive for MORE BODY POSITIVITY!

Since I was 19 years old, I began my journey of radical body positivity.

Here are some of the things I have learned to break through old thought patterns and start with body positivity for people of ALL Identities and Abilities.  

 

Ways to Love Your Body!

 

1. Fall in love with your hygiene

Hygiene is something we “have” to do, and it is something that we can gain satisfaction from.

Brushing your teeth and flossing daily can significantly improve how you feel about yourself. When you love your smile, it shows!

Body Positivity

Have gatherings with some friends where you do face masks, file and paint nails, and agree to give each other hand or shoulder massages.

Get your nails done. Most nail salons in my area have seating to fit all body sizes. Similarly, some have portable water basins, stations, and dryers which are set up for wheelchair accessibility.

Showers and bathing can transform from MUST DO to PLEASURE-CENTERED. If you can, make more time in your schedule by taking away a TV show and adding a candle and some music in the bathroom.

For those who have hair - get a shampoo and conditioner you LOVE. It will be icing on the cake of how you feel about yourself, regardless of your identity or your abilities.    

 

2. Tell yourself in the MIRROR daily “I love you and your body, ________.” (Add your name!)

Body Positivity

It doesn’t matter how silly it seems. This is important. Self-love MATTERS. Think about all the times you tell yourself, silently, mean things.

You have to start combatting some of those thoughts and REPLACING that negative, mean comment with a more positive belief about yourself.

 

3.     Begin practicing mind-body integrations!

Many of us weren’t modeled self-love, due to generations of trauma that our families carried before us.

Now that we have the luxuries of the modern world, we have not had the mentors to teach us about integration of mind, body, and emotions.

Body Positivity

We all know it is important and have heard about mind-body connection before… have you practiced it though?

If you aren’t actively integrating this, you are missing out on a huge aspect of loving yourself.

Whether it be EMDR therapy, yoga, meditation, or sound baths (especially for those who have limited movement), try to find some way connect your mind with your body.

 

4.     Hydration!

A personal favorite of mine. Drink water! Take your body weight (in pounds) and divide it by 2. This is your suggested daily water intake!

When you are hydrated, your body functions better. Please remember to consult with a doctor!

Body Positivity 

5.     Visit an APRN!

If you are blessed with health insurance, visit an advanced practice registered nurse, who has the ability and experience to provide psychiatric medications.

If you don’t love your body, talking with someone in the medical field is important. They have answers on the body that a mental health professional would not.

 

What are your favorite techniques for body positivity?

If you can’t begin to fathom any of these options, please see a body-positive mental health professional or clinician. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


The perfect vagina

Sex Therapist Reveals How To Get The Perfect Vagina!

HOW TO GET THE PERFECT VAGINA!

 

So you want to know more? Lets dive into the perfect vagina and the female anatomy! We will show you female anatomy drawings images.

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of the anatomy of pleasure and getting a perfect vagina! This is what I have studied for the past 12 years!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to get a perfect vagina, how to love your perfect vulva, and how to teach others how to get one too, even if they are intimated! Learn the anatomy, stop comparing to porn, and learn to look! 

 

My tips will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your partner(s)!

Come Join Us By Clicking Below!

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE” HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success!

Watch now! HOW TO GET OVER SEXUAL ANXIETY FOR MEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNERd...

VIDEO ON COMMUNICATING YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbZX6...

EXCLUSIVE INFORMATION ON THE G-SPOT: https://youtu.be/uRzHrrwWBTk

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

Amanda Pasciucco has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, and more! 

Say hi on social:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thesexhealer

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer


Betty Dodson on Goop Lab on Netflix

Betty Dodson Featured on Goop Lab on Netflix

Betty Dodson Featured on Goop Lab on Netflix

 

I am so excited for Betty and Carlin to be on the premier episode of Goop Lab on Netflix on January 24th. I will be watching my idol Betty Dodson as she talks about female pleasure, vulvas and orgasm techniques!

Betty Dodson is an artist, author, PhD sexologist, and one of the principal voices for women's sexual pleasure and health for over four decades.

Betty was recently named one of the top ten sexual revolutionaries by Cosmopolitan magazine. She was also listed as number 43 of the 100 most important people in sex by Playboy Magazine.

Betty and Carlin run a BodySex Workshop to help women overcome negative body image and pleasure anxiety.

Check out my blog on my BodySex Workshop (a.k.a my naked female weekend) experience:

The Atlantic reviewed Goop Lab on Netflix and said this about Betty's episode:

"The show’s strongest episode features Betty Dodson, the feminist sex educator, discussing the physics of women’s orgasms. It reads as a timely corrective to American culture’s tendency to treat women’s bodies as agents of shame."

Watch the episode on January 24th and and learn from Betty and Carlin on Goop Lab on Netflix.

Watch the video trailer below.

Here is a thank you note I received from Carlin Ross...

Betty and I wanted to reach out and thank you for your support.  You trusted us with your deepest fears and shared your greatest vulnerabilities.  Your warmth and honesty helps us keep pushing forward.

Thank you to our Bodysex sisters.

On January 24th our Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP Lap on Netflix episode on female pleasure will air on Netflix.

Once again, I was Betty's "stunt cunt" and we took the cameras through genital show and tell.

Additionally, Betty shared her Rock 'n Roll orgasm technique.

Several of you submitted vulva pics to show the range of vulva styles YOU FUCKING CAME THROUGH BIG FOR US.

Thank you Thank you Thank you from the bottom of our clits.  To more orgasms for womankind.

Much love
Betty and Carlin

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

 

Learning How to Love Yourself Takes Work!

Yes, it comes more naturally for some, and at times, it’s easier to do than when things aren’t going well. 

During hard times, it’s more important than ever to learn how to love yourself. Whether you’re facing trouble at work, with your family, or in romantic relationships, forgetting to love yourself can mean you’ll sacrifice your health and emotional well-being for others’.

By the end of this blog, you will learn what I have taught hundreds of others on how to love yourself. 

What does loving yourself mean? It certainly doesn’t mean that everything’s going great and you’re close to perfection. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you love yourself, you open yourself up to self-compassion. You stop holding yourself up to some imaginary standard that’s impossible to meet.

Self-compassion and love create a space where you can get to know yourself intimately. You can finally let go of real or perceived expectations, find out who you are, and what you need to thrive. When that happens, your newfound confidence will ripple around you and influence your career, your family, and the ones you love.

 

Embracing the Me First Mentality

Strangely, so many of us struggle to put ourselves before others. Maybe it’s because there’s so much cultural pressure to avoid anything that looks selfish, prideful, or self-obsessed.

Treating others well is a great principle, as long as you’re treating yourself well first. Too many of us focus emotion or time and effort on others from a place of weakness. We’re worried someone might not like us, or we are guilted into something we’d rather not do.

Love Yourself 

We’ve all felt that feeling of being manipulated emotionally. It’s never fun and ultimately leads to disappointment. We spend too much time stuck in disappointing relationships or doing favors for others when we don’t want to because we don’t love ourselves enough.

Deep down, we all know we should be spending more time on what makes us happy. Time spent focused on personal development positively impacts everyone we’re around. When we grow as individuals, we’re less reliant on external sources of affirmation. Then, acts of kindness, love, and service are sincere and not done out of hopes for a desired reaction.

 

I Instead of We

When you love yourself, you’re also more capable of navigating difficult times in relationships. Instead of avoiding blame at all costs and shying away from feedback, you seek it out. You’re more inclined to take ownership of your actions.

This has a tremendous effect on interpersonal relationships, especially romantic relationships. It’s easy to play the blame game in a budding romance or with a spouse or partner. Most often this takes the form of disguised criticism or negativity towards a partner with the cover of “we”.

“We need to work out more. We need to drink less. Maybe we should spend less money.” In any romantic relationship, these may be valid points. However, using “we” here is a form of passive-aggressive critique that doesn’t bode well for a healthy intimate relationship.

If you love yourself, you should be able to own statements and offer advice and feedback openly and honestly. “I think you should drink less.”, is a more direct, but honest way of communicating how you feel. You know what you need to be happy and you feel confident telling who you love how to make things work. Loving yourself also means being ok if things don’t work.

 

Staying Connected Through All the Mess

Loving yourself is so important because the hard times will come eventually. When they arrive, it gets harder and harder to suppress your ego for the good of your relationship. So many couples end prematurely because ego got in the way.

When you love yourself, who you are is defined less by how others treat you. You’re not popular because you get a million likes or comments. Your foundation is solid, so you can see that flash of anger, lack of patience, or uncertainty from your partner less as an attack on you, but as an opening for you to offer more love and affirmation.

 

Communicating Intimacy

Love Yourself

Nowhere is self-love more important than in creating and sustaining intimacy. There’s a quote from the famous poet Oscar Wilde that says, “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” We spend so much time thinking about and pursuing sex, it’s possible to get lost in the power dynamics and find ourselves in a bad emotional place.

When you love yourself, intimacy comes more naturally. Sex is less complicated because we’re confident expressing ourselves and giving earnestly with clear motivations. You aren’t motivated by guilt, and you’re less likely to do something you’ll regret later. Loving yourself allows you to give honest physical and emotional love. That’s great news because it helps make sure choices about sex between partners is more consensual and will lead to greater sexual satisfaction.

 

The Gift of Choice

When confronted with adversity, loving yourself provides the gift of choice. You view challenges and opportunities through a lens of what will be the most helpful or beneficial rather than worrying about what others will think.

As you develop more self-compassion and establish a love for yourself, be aware, though, that other people are in different stages of development. They may not be ready to handle your decisions well. It may evoke negative emotional reactions.

In these instances, it can be helpful to work through decisions with a therapist. Their experience can help you gauge how your partner may react to an explanation or decision you’ve made. They can also help you recognize any factors you may be missing. It’s a great help when making impactful decisions about things like marriage, moving in together, splitting up, having kids, or overcoming serious disputes.

Talking with a therapist can also help you unpack whatever’s stopping you from establishing self-love. It may be that something in your past, whether it’s a trauma or bad habits that build up over time, an expert can help you get to the root of insecurities or whatever else is in the way.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Shave your pubic hair

To Shave or Not to Shave Your Pubic Hair

To Shave or Not to Shave Your Pubic Hair  

Think twice before you laser or shave your pubic hair! 

If you have been wondering whether or not to shave your pubic hair entirely, trim it closely, or let it grow bushy, we are happy to tell you the trend is to do whatever makes you happy.

If you grew up before the late nineties, you may have gotten your first glimpse of a stranger’s naked body in an adult magazine. Remember, this was before the internet and the explosion of online porn. People sometimes had to learn the birds and the bees from printed publications or VHS tapes.

Back in the old days, the centerfolds laid out on the pages had a healthy bush. It was almost as if no one had ever heard of shaving pubic hair. Large tufts of pubic hair on all genders were in full effect.

For the past two decades, however, shaving has been in.

 

Smooth Sexy Parts

Many years ago, Brazilian wax salons started popping up all over the country. At first, we all giggled at the thought of ripping hair off vaginas, balls, and other body parts. Waxing scenes removing underarm hair, chest hair, and pubic hair played in movies and jokes between friends.

The no pubic hair trend caught fire and stuck. All you have to do is take a look at some popular porn sites to take sampling. Most of the videos feature people of all genders with no pubic hair.

So why did pubic hair removal become so popular? A lot of people prefer it, because they feel like it’s a cleaner look. You’re not worried about pubes poking out of a swimsuit or falling all over the bathroom floor. Others like how it gives a better view of what you’re working with down there.

Celebrity voices added to the popularity of the no-bush trend. Some have spoken out about their personal preference for laser hair removal and waxing. Even for celebrities who’ve remained silent, all you have to do is take a look at their social media posts in tight swimsuits to see they’re pubic hair-free.

 

Don’t Look Now, But Bush is Back!

Even though pubic hair removal is still extremely popular, having pubic hair is becoming less of a taboo. Before, if you had pubic hair, you’d probably get some heat for being lazy or sloppy. Now, however, it’s becoming a sort of personal statement.

We’ve all heard that fashion trends repeat. Could it be the same for pubic hair? Well, in the past few years, pubic hair is making somewhat of a comeback.

Shave your pubic hair
Pubic Hair (Photo Credits: Needpix)

As is usually the case, a trend starts when a small group of people decide they want to go against the crowd. They decide they don’t want to do what everyone else is doing. They want to stand out.

Eventually, people take notice and want to hop on the early beginnings of a trend. More and more people do it until whatever was popular in the beginning is hard to find at all. Then the cycle repeats.

The same is happening with shaving and other ways of pubic hair removal. The bush is creeping back into the mainstream. You can find it online in pornographic videos, pictures, and even in Hollywood productions.

 

Here are some of the most common NEGATIVE examples of why people shave:

  • They feel disgusted to kiss their partners after going down on them. 
  • Sometimes, partners refuse cunnilingus or intercourse with menstruating women or women with pubic hair. 
  • Joking about vulvas and vaginas smelling “like fish” or ejaculation is “gross” and “repulsive.”
  • Partners shave off their body hair because they state it smells bad and holds the sweat.

 

Tips for when you shave your pubic hair: 

Make sure you use an organic balm on the gentle skin of the pubic region. If you want to shave your pubic hair, just know that there will be some itching as it grows back. 

Test for allergies! I was using organic products for years, and then found out I was still allergic to some of the products themselves, not just the pesticides of the pharmacy brand version).

If you love that bare look of no hair, enjoy a fun slip and slide with a hairless partner! I know some people who actually tweeze or thread their pubic hair to get the smoothest sensation imaginable. Yes, this takes hours to do if you are tweezing.  

These are long-standing beliefs that keep our pleasure repressed, and keep us self-conscious instead. Find a happy medium for YOURSELF!

If you want bush, go for it. If you want to shave, go for it.

Or find a happy medium!

 

Keeping It Trim

An alternative for pleasure-enhancement is trimming! 

At my Betty Dodson BodySex weekend, one of the women came in Day 1 donning a beautiful bush and the next day, she trimmed and was equally joyful and orgasmic Day 2!

We haven’t made a full return to the glory days when huge bush was in style...

Now when pubic hair makes an appearance [in pornography], it’s often neatly trimmed. 

Closely-cropped pubic hair is easier to manage – there are fewer painful waxing or lasering sessions – and many individuals find this trimmed, “natural-state” highly desirable. 

 

Grooming Tips

Thankfully, personal grooming is easier than ever. There are widely available grooming shavers that are adjustable to match whatever length or shape you’re looking for. 

If you are thinking about letting your pubic hair make a comeback, start slowly. Buy a grooming tool that you can use to keep things trim and take it from there.

Shave your pubic hair
[Photo: Getty]

You still have a lot of choices in pubic grooming! 

There’s waxing, shaving, threading, laser hair removal, chemicals that remove hair and other forms of trimming. 

It’s not an “all or nothing” proposition when it comes to pubic hair.

 

Check out some LCAT Fan Favorites:

  • The best razor for a close shave without nicks
  • Shaving cream choice, especially for those with sensitive skin
  • Baby trimmer for those who have never done it
  • Body trimmer reported to prevent cutting
  • Multigroom series

If you are going to get a brazalian or an anal wax, make sure that the person you are going to has hygenic facilities and that they are experienced. This is not a place you want any infections. 

 

Body Positivity and Personal Preference

One of the best things about recent trends in pubic hair is the underlying support for personal preference when it comes to your body. We still have some ways to go, but the return of pubic hair and the debate over whether bald is better is becoming less about what’s “hot” and more about doing whatever you want concerning your body.

That sense of body sensitivity has sexual maturity, acceptance from sexual partners and even helped push choice feminism. 

With the reemergence of bushier pubic hair, women should feel less confined to a certain body image or personal grooming standards. 

Everyone has better sex when we feel good about our bodies.

More and more people, including people with large public followings, are proudly announcing their preference for the natural look. 

That may seem a bit trite, but it goes a long way to breaking down barriers. Sometimes, when public figures open the door to how many people feel, it’s easier for them to take the leap and make changes.

The trend, for now, remains overwhelmingly in favor of total hair removal or very limited pubic hair. However, the stigma of bushy or trimmed pubic hair on all genders is slowly fading away. That’s good news for everyone.

Some people do what their partner prefers. I would consider that choosing what makes you feel the most confident about your body is what matters. 

 

Can You Go Back if You’ve Done Laser Hair Removal?

What about people who chose laser hair removal to permanently remove their pubic hair? 

A few years ago, they were so sure they’d never want pubic hair again. 

The trend is changing, though, and so are some people’s minds.

With laser hair removal, your pubic hair may not be completely gone forever, and it’s likely that hair that grows back will be lighter, thinner, and that there will be fewer of them.

Believe it or not, in recent years, some medical facilities have started performing hair transplants on people - for those balding, those who want a fuller bush, or those who regret past laser hair removal. 

The procedures are expensive and are by no means mainstream, yet if the trend towards pubic hair continues, expect there to be more developments here.

Still, even with the potential for hair removal reversal, permanent laser removal should be something you consider at length. 

Focus instead on feeling good about your body and taking small steps to find out what works best for you.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


My Naked Female Weekend with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross

The following may contain a story and images of intimacy and pleasure in the body (including what is viewed by LCAT as tasteful). You have a choice to continue reading, as we value our community and your right to agree to read this information. Our core beliefs are confidentiality, integrity, respect of all beings, and consent on all levels.

My Naked Female Weekend with Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross - Pleasure is Healing

 

On July 14, 2013, I met Betty Dodson for the first time. She hugged me, whispered "you're a very naughty girl...I like you" to me, and then slapped my ass. Life was good. 

Have you ever heard of Betty Dodson? If not, have you ever heard of a vibrator

Betty Dodson
Carlin Ross, Amanda Pasciucco and Betty Dodson

If yes, consider saying “thank you” to Betty Dodson!

Betty put the vibrator on the “map” for women’s sexual pleasure, and the movement that she began decades ago has changed sexuality for the better! 

Betty Dodson is not only a sexologist and the author of Sex For One (it sold over a million copies) and Orgasms for Two, she is a phenomenal artist. 

Soon, she will have some of her work in an exhibition at The Museum of Sex in New York City. 

If you would like to see some of Betty’s illustrations, you can find them here

A few months ago, I realized that Betty is 90 years old, and I had yet to attend one of her events. 

I wanted to see Betty and her “right-hand woman,” Carlin Ross, in action! 

Immersing myself in Betty and Carlin’s energy for the first time in six years didn’t feel scary or intimidating to me. It almost felt like “coming home” while attending Dodson and Ross’ BodySex Weekend.

 

What Is BodySex? 

The best description I can come up with for BodySex is a sacred, two-day weekend workshop where women overcome their body shame and/or past traumas by practicing sensual pleasure. 

Carlin says that “Betty developed these workshops using the consciousness raising model of second wave feminism where women got together and shared their experience first person.” 

 

How does it work? 

A group of more than 10 women from all over the WORLD come to learn from Betty and Carlin about their bodies, their orgasms, all while feeling the strong bond of sisterhood. 

This event is for women only.

 

The first thing you do when you walk into the BodySex event is take off all of your clothing. 

I was greeted by the lovely Ms. Ross, who I had met six years ago, and who still remembered me, by name. I smiled and felt honored, because Carlin and Betty are such heroes to me. 

Women who spend their days teaching other women about pleasure has enabled me to live my life in exactly the way I want. Since I was 19, I was able to choose the profession I chose, because of the Sexual Revolution that Betty Dodson began.

We sat in a circle for two days (for a total of 10 hours), without any clothing, without any men, and we were led through the following practices by two Fearless Women:

  • Conversation on Cultural Body Messages
  • Vulva Show and Tell for all Participants
  • Erotic Recess Focused on Pleasure
  • Group Massage Focused on Non-Sexual Touch

I believe that all women can gain something from this experience. 

Sitting in the nude isn’t comfortable for everyone when they begin. But, by the end of Day 2, after sharing your genitals and your pleasure with the other women, I am uncertain how anyone leaves without making LIFELONG friends! 

 

Change occurs when you do something new!

 

Take Away Messages

1. If you are a woman struggling to orgasm, go to BodySex. It will change your life.

  • By spending time with other women, especially other vulnerable, Bad-Ass women, your view of female bodies, orgasm, competition, and internal narratives begin to change. 
  • The idea that multiple women went in disliking their vulvas, and most did not know how to appreciate them (Day 1) and then left (Day 2) feeling pleasure and connection is MIRACULOUS! 
  • In 10 hours, Betty and Carlin undo YEARS of sexual shame and cultural fear that women’s bodies are “not enough.” 

2. Women are GORGEOUS! Especially, women in their pleasure!  

  • The entire woman, including her VULVA, is beautiful. 
  • If you had to match a face to a vulva, you probably could NOT do it! 
  • One of my favorite quotes from the weekend is that “P--sy is fresh, no matter what age.” 
  • When you aren’t looking at sex from the lens of pornography, there is much more to enjoy and experience. 

3. Many successful women are having children after the age of 40. 

  • For those of you who struggle with choosing between children and your career, I just want to share that I met multiple women this weekend who had babies after age 40. 
  • Until this weekend, I had never been in a room where women were willing to talk about the connection between their bodies, fertility and motherhood. 

I witnessed multiple women orgasm for the first time in their lives, and it was SO beautiful to share that with them. 

I believe ALL individuals can be healed from learning the beauty of their own pleasure. Just like Betty and Carlin's tagline and mission “Better orgasms. Better world.”

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Does size matter?

Does Size Matter?

Does Size Matter?

Is it long enough? Thick enough? Hard enough? Does size matter?

"Why is the size of a penis one of the biggest sexual concerns?" she asks.

“Toxic Masculinity,” she whispers. 

We live in a culture that correlates penis size to how masculine a man is and / or his sexual identity.

“AHHH! Patriarchy!” she screams.

So… wait… DOES SIZE MATTER?

Whether you call it a penis, phallus, lingam, dick, cock, or any other name, we unfortunately live in a reality where everyone seems to be obsessed with penis size! 

We see it in advertising, movies, and in dozens of studies that are conducted annually to determine if it is important, both to men and women. 

Before debunking the stigma, here are some common phallus questions and answers.

Does size matter?

When does it stop growing?

The largest growth spurts occur during male adolescence, and continue until around 20 years old. From this point on, it is common for penis size to remain similar for the rest of a man's life.

Although the growth of the penis occurs in this period, the rate may vary from one teen to another, and may be faster in some cases than in others.

Why is a penis crooked?

Penises can grow slightly from one side or the other, because the urethra does not always accompany the development of the rest of the organ, causing a slight curve.

However, if the curvature produces pain and impedes penetration during intimate contact, it is caused by Peyronie's disease

Is it possible to increase the size of a penis?

The size of the penis varies greatly from one man to another, and from one country to another. 

In this way, it is difficult to determine an interval to assess whether the size of the penis can be considered normal.

However, for men who want to increase penis size, there are forms of “treatment” from pumps to creams to losing weight to not smoking.

What is a normal or average penis size?

In the Journal of Urology study, researchers found the following among the group of 80 men:

  • An average penis size length of 8.8 cm (3.5 inches) when flaccid (soft)
  • An average penis size length of 12.9 cm (5.1 inches) when erect (hard)
  • The size of a man's erect penis was not correlated with the size of his flaccid penis. This means that men whose penises are different lengths when flaccid may have similarly sized erect penises. There was also no relationship between mens' age and their penis size.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2014 said that out of self-reported summaries:

  • An average erect penile length of 14.15 cm (5.57 inches) 
  • An average erect penile circumference of 12.23 cm (4.8 inches). This means the girth, width, or "fullness" around the base of the penis. 

How important is size?

The size of the penis is not as important as everyone thinks when it comes to sexually satisfying one's partner. 

Penis size isn’t that critical to sexual pleasure. If you are going to penetrate another person, dildos are much more reliable and you can select the size you want. 

The MOMENT you put pressure on the penis to get hard, it’s ALL OVER! You may as well just book an appointment now, because you will get stuck in the anxiety loop. 

Regardless of size, what is important to one's partner is that the penis can stay hard for as long as it needs to. This is why I suggest the use of dildos. 

Take the pressure off! 

If you are performing for a female partner, just know that only 18% of women orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Therefore, make sure you have lubricant and a vibrator.  

Women sometimes take up to 20 minutes to get warmed up so don’t rush them! Your penis being hard isn’t the concern. It is your patience in her getting to experience HER pleasure. 

So my answer to the question "Does size matter?" is "eh - not really."

Size seems to matter most when the penis is too big or too wide. Depending on the time of month, the cervix is located in different places.

This matters with vaginal penetration, because too much length can cause pain while hitting the cervix. There is actually a sexual health device that goes on the base of the penis so that it cannot go in as deep to help fix this problem!

Another issue is when the penis is too wide, there may be an hour of foreplay needed so that other orifices are warmed up and relaxed.

If you were to ask me in my experience "within the therapy room," when asking clients (women or those who enjoy penetrative sex with penises) to choose between what matters more, 9 out of 10 will choose girth (width / circumference) over length.

Out of all the clients I have seen over the last ten years, only about 5 out of 100 people state that they care about size at all. Usually 3 of those 5 will be identified as bisexual or gay men.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 


Eating Coach Control Issues West Hartford CT Hartford CT

National Donut Day

National Donut Day (GET HELP) isn't very exciting for those with eating disorders...

 

Story by Meaghan:

 

I want to tell you about this guy that  I met. I'm not going to use any names because I feel it could really ruin someones reputation. Him and I met about ten years ago. You could say that our relationship has been pretty serious, always ups and downs but when push comes to shove he really has always been there for me. I was a freshman when we met, he has taught me so much about life, love and happiness. He taught me about strength and persistence. He taught me how to love myself, even when I wasn't very lovable. He taught me self-care, taking time for myself. Throughout high school we had lunch together almost every single day. Once we went to college, things got kind of complicated you could say. I wanted to be alone and figure myself out, and he wanted to support me. I'd push him away and then call him back whenever I needed him. He comforted me when I was scared. He guided me when I felt I couldn't make decisions and always gave me the greatest advice. He'd constantly show me who my real friends are and push away every negative person that got in my way.

 

    He's great, he'd go shopping with me, out to eat, parties and even take me on little vacations. He's perfect right? The only thing is he insisted that we kept our relationship top secret. However I was treated like a princess, so it was worth it. Wouldn't you kill for a relationship like that? Having a man that stands by your side for ten years even if it's just in the role of a friend. Someone who is honest, who fights for you, who is patient and waits for you to discover yourself? Someone who is willing to wait for you and as soon as you are ready, he's back, like nothing ever changed.

 

    How lucky am I? I'd say very. I found my Prince Charming at such a young age and the best part is I knew he'd never, ever leave me. No matter how poorly I treated him. No matter how stubborn I was. No matter how many other relationships I got into, I always knew he'd be there. He would never let me be lonely. It's a dream come true.

 

   There's a flip side though. This guy, as much of a dream that he is also did some pretty terrible stuff to me. Do I keep him or do I let him go? That's where I need your help.

 

   When I say he taught me how to love myself, I mean- he told me what I needed to do to be beautiful. Make-up, hair-dye, tanning, gym memberships, and the latest 'diet' trends. When I was scared he'd teach me control, like "If you ever want to get anywhere in you life you have to learn to punish yourself when you do wrong." When I was getting dressed he'd tell me I'm ugly, and that clothes will never ever fit me. If I had a friend or a significant other he'd find ways to push them away because the only love I needed was his. He'd help my avoid awkward social gatherings and fight with my loved ones so I could ensure keeping him around. He HATED seeing me in dresses, it just wasn't a pretty site. He'd comment on how my calves were too big and my thighs shouldn't touch. He'd convince me that no one loved me, no one cared. Whenever I was alone he'd keep me company. Whenever I was with people he would always be right.there.

 

       He made me sick. I never wanted to leave my house, I couldn't work, I couldn't sleep. I was scared and nervous, I couldn't make a move without him noticing. I wasn't allowed to cry, or be angry, or be anything but "happy." If I felt anything else, he'd become enraged, he wouldn't leave me alone. he convinced me that I'm not worthy. I was fat. I was ugly and he always had to be number one in my life. He gave me what I wanted, attention. He was manipulative, he made me cling to love. He was intimidating, constantly reminding me that I had to earn the body image I longed for. He was always there for me, he loved me despite my longing to be beautiful, despite always failing him.

 

     Does this still sound like a fairytale? Is love like that worth it? If love means something different to everyone shouldn't I accept this man? I should love him back. Here's the scary thing though, I don't. I'd be lying to you if I told you I even wanted him around. Honestly I want him to leave forever.

 

   Don't you want to help me get away from this man? Once we break up would you want to watch chick flicks and eat ice cream out of the carton with me? Why could I so easily tell a friend to get away from a relationship like that but I'm stuck? Can people really convince you of all that? How many second chances do I have to give someone?

 

   Now, what if I told you this man doesn't really exist. What if I told you I completely made him up? Would you get me a one way ticket for the crazy train? Here's the thing. He does actually exist. His name is Ed. He lives in my brain and everything I just told you is very true. When I told you we met for lunch every day, I meant in the bathroom. Ed is an eating disorder. It's a mental illness. My body isn't perfect, and  I rarely go to the gym. But if I was dealing with a break up and you showed up with ice cream, I'd have to refuse because it's just not worth the extra calories. It's always there. I've been fighting this for months, you could even say years.

 

   Eating disorders are the cancer of the mental health world. The only difference is there isn't a chemo or radiation. It's just as deadly. For an eating disorder I am the chemo, the radiation, the strength and the cancer. It effects your muscles, slows your heart rate down, reduces your bone density and can even cause heart disease. Anorexia nervosa has the highest fatality rate of any mental illness. Eating disorders are a daily struggle for ten million females and one million males in the United States.

 

   You see, I'm far from alone. This IS serious. Anyone can struggle. This "relationship" I'm in is just as serious as an abusive relationship, it's similar to having an addiction to heroin. Except I'm addicted to the feeling of having an empty stomach. I physically can't JUST have one more bite. I can't just STOP my desire to be a size 0.

 

    I can't just call the police and say I'm in danger. I have to become smarter than my own mind. I have to face challenges every day because I can't just run away from food. You can't escape your own mind, or your heart.

 

    I'm okay and I'm surviving. Every day brings new struggles and new accomplishments.It's not easy- but the moment you realize that recovery is worth it everything changes. The fight becomes worth it, the exhaustion becomes worth it. And in the end, you gave up a relationship and you may feel lonely. What you gain is irreplaceable though.

 

   You gain a clear mind, an adventurous spirit. You gain love- maybe not from others but for yourself, and the others will follow suit. Loving yourself means happiness, confidence, strength, courage and compassion. You gain pride, you gain insight, you learn how to actually fight.

 

   This doesn't mean Ed won't call, or text, or show up in a commercial, or even knock on your door he may even barge in. However he will find someone happy to be eating ice cream out of a carton because they can finally enjoy good company. Because that's my decision and getting rid of him, gives me back control of my life and after all isn't that what I wanted from the beginning?

 

   Be brave, take chances. Talk about your struggles with loved ones. Seek help, because being able to think and make decisions for yourself is worth far more than fearing life. I'm 24 years old, I'm no longer claiming to "have" an eating disorder, because I am far too busy recovering from one.