Anger Management Therapy

Anger Management Therapy

 

To recognize and avoid anger triggers in people, psychologists and clinicians will often recommend anger management therapy. 

This type of therapy serves as a tool to successfully manage your anger and prevent it from affecting areas of your life. The target of that anger might be anyone, from you and your loved ones to a stranger in the street. 

Most of the time, you will find yourself furious over different events you can’t even control. 

So, when does anger become more than just a standard human emotion?  

 

Understanding Anger

We all get mad, and that’s completely normal. 

However, if your anger is misplaced or uncontrolled, then consider seeking help to manage it better. 

When talking about how this uncontrolled anger looks, it’s important to know that it depends on the person. 

Someone will feel furious on the inside, yet people around them will not be able to see signs of anger.

Another person might have a quick temper and they might even exhibit aggressive behavior. 

Although uncontrolled anger is common, it can be quite dysfunctional, especially because those who experience it are not aware of the impact it has on their lives and the people around them.

The reason why anger leads to bigger problems is because at first, it seems effective. 

For instance, you might lose your temper with your team members at work and it leads to better employee performance. 

Or, you might scream at your kids because they haven’t made their bed or brushed their teeth. In these and similar scenarios, you may get what you want, yet not for long.

People will often overlook the long-term consequences when it comes to anger. 

It can easily lead to undesired health effects such as high blood pressure and even an increased risk of heart disease. 

Yet, the most important effect uncontrolled anger will have is on your social life, including your family members, friends, coworking and everyone else close to you. 

 

Uncontrolled Anger Signs

Before talking about anger management therapy, let’s take a look at some of the common signs of uncontrolled anger. 

If you or someone close to you is showing these signs, consider anger management therapy:

  • More than one person has already told you that you have an anger problem.
  • You have distanced yourself from family and friends because of your behavior.
  • There are business establishments or private gatherings you’re no longer invited to.
  • You feel anger most of the day.
  • You often have a grudge or think about getting revenge. 
  • When angry, you act aggressively or violently or have aggressive or violent thoughts. 

 

Seeking Help

As already explained, it’s not so common that a person with uncontrolled anger is aware they need help. Often, they will be suggested to seek help from their loved one, a family member or a friend. When it comes to treating anger, the therapy has proven to be very efficient with most people.

A therapist will treat anger by focusing on cognitive-behavioural therapy mostly. For a person with uncontrolled anger, this means they will learn how to identify patterns that are harmful in any way. This way, they can change their inaccurate thoughts on how anger solves their problems. 

You can even expect to be exposed to imaginary events that usually provoke anger for you, which is known as Stress Inoculation. 

With this method, a counselor can see your anger in action and help you find coping methods that will work for you. 

Of course, the chosen method will depend on the therapist and the client’s emotions. The point is though, that to overcome uncontrolled anger, you will need to dive into it. 

You have to feel it to heal it!

 

Anger Management Therapy

The core of anger management therapy consists of learning how to handle your anger in a positive way. As much as we all want to completely destroy anger as an emotion, we tend to forget that every emotion we experience can be good for us, it only depends on how we react to it.

So, if the coping mechanisms you have are not serving you, regardless of whether we’re talking about sadness, loneliness or anger, you need to change them. To change the way you feel or react when you’re feeling angry, you need to understand what exactly are your triggers and the ways you reach in these types of situations. 

In most cases, you will need a clinician who does anger management therapy with their clients. 

They can help you learn how to manage your anger constructively and positively by staying calm. As it is with everything else that causes dysfunction in our lives, it will take time until you replace your old coping mechanisms with new beneficial ones.

Think of anger management as a new skill you will need to develop. It will require commitment, effort and more than anything else, time to build the patience to manage your anger. Once you recognize the trigger patterns and behaviors that come out of them, it will be easier to be in control of your anger. 

 

Managing Anger Without Therapy

If you are unable to see a therapist, there are still a few techniques that might be useful when trying to manage your anger. Make sure you remember them and use them anytime you start feeling the anger coming in. 

  • Breathe and while exhaling, think of the anger coming out of your body.
  • Do tension release exercises which move focus to your muscles by contracting and releasing them.
  • Start meditating to shift your mind from anger to a more neutral state.
  • Find a channel that works well for your anger such as running or exercising.
  • Boost your creativity with writing, drawing or listening to music as art.
  • Sleep at least six to eight hours because sleep deprivation leads to irritability!

When it comes to anger management, the most important thing to do is not to suppress it. 

Try expressing it from the moment you notice your anger kicking in as it still allows you to be in control. Express to yourself what this may mean for you. 

The more you practice it, the easier it will become. Once you learn how to manage your anger, you will be able to build quality relationships, be more concentrated on your work and lead a healthier life. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How To Quit Porn: A Step-By Step Guide

How To Quit Porn: A Step-By Step Guide

 

Let’s be frank, we have all explored the world of sexual fantasies in our own ways, yet how to quit porn for good if it’s no longer serving your curiosity and creativity? You’ve probably consumed enough porn materials and now you feel like it’s time for a porn detox. 

However, this is easier said than done. As it is with all the habits, once you are used to something, it’s not that easy to just kick it out of your life. And don’t get confused, nobody is saying porn is bad! There are no good and bad sites to it, the only deciding factor about it should be how YOU feel about it. 

So, if you no longer feel the same level of curiosity when consuming porn content. Maybe it’s time to rethink it and create some space for other habits that will make you happier. Here are the things you should do to make your porn detox a bit easier for yourself. 

 

Embrace the Rollercoaster

You might think that once you decide something, all you have to do is stick to it until that habit disappears, yet unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In reality, some days will be a success, while others will seem like a complete disaster. Once you try to get rid of any habit, your emotions will become very intense and it will be really challenging to feel in control. Therefore, you will need to let go of the need to control. 

Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. When you have a bad day, just embrace it as something that needs to happen and know that day will end. It will be difficult to stay away from porn content, however, once you accept that this is not a linear process, you will feel a bit relieved. 

 

Set Small Targets

Don’t think about how to quit porn forever, think about quitting it first for one week. Forever is a very frustrating concept when you are trying to either adopt or kick out a habit. Instead, set smaller targets for yourself. Why don’t you just quit porn for one week? And then one more? This way, you will also experience mini achievements with your habit project and feel good about it. 

The reason why this battle ‘person vs. habit’ fails is that there is nothing positive and encouraging for you during your habit change. You are trying to stop consuming porn content and giving yourself some credit on this difficult path is surely a motivating trick. 

Below, you can find a few useful tips for those who have decided to quit porn:

  • Create your calendar and mark the days you haven’t been consuming any porn content. Seeing it all in one place can help you see how much you’re accomplishing every day.
  • If you usually watch porn in the evenings. Plan something interesting at that time (going for a jog or cooking dinner).
  • Try to stay away from all devices in your home as this will remind you too much of your addiction. Use your computer and mobile phone only when needed. 
  • Celebrate your first week of being porn-free with something that will motivate you. E.g. dinner with friends, an expensive massage or a new pair of sneakers.

 

Reboot Your Brain 

If you’re addicted to porn, just like any other addiction, there is a chemical response in your brain when you are consuming it. The number of dopamine receptors is being reduced due to the dopamine attack which happens while watching porn. This chemical reaction is to blame when a person starts having problems such as erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, anxiety, depression, etc. 

So, to reboot your brain would mean to allow your brain to restore those dopamine receptors which were lost during overconsumption of porn. The idea of rebooting is to get you to that point of your life where there was no pornography. The bad news is rebooting your brain takes more time than rebooting your mobile device or computer. Expect to spend weeks or even months to see an improvement. After the rebooting process has been successfully completed, you should also get your sex urge back.

 

Creating Your Own System

People are not equally addicted to, let’s say, smoking, drinking, drugs or even porn. This means that addiction triggers also differ from one person to another. In other words, a system that worked for your friend struggling with the same addiction may not work for you because you are addicted due to different reasons, have different triggers and consume differently.

When do you usually watch porn? On which occasions do you feel you need more of it? Deeply analysing your addiction will help you fight it and ultimately win it. For instance, if you watch porn in the evening because you are bored alone at home, find hobbies in the evening or schedule more events with your friends at that time. 

If you turn to porn each time something bad happens at work and you want to escape the real world, find a person you can talk to about the work situations. It can be a colleague who is going through the same thing or your friend who is simply a good listener. The key is to understand why and when you need pornography in order to quit it successfully. 

 

Action!

It’s very admirable if you’ve decided to quit porn, however, in the majority of addiction cases, it simply won’t be enough. There is so much porn addiction around us because it’s so easy to find and consume it. What can you do to make it harder for yourself to consume porn content? Is it maybe canceling the subscription to your prefered websites? Deleting all the porn content you have downloaded on your computer? Blocking the free websites where you used to go when you had porn cravings? 

Anything you can do to prevent yourself from watching porn, you should do it. It might seem exaggerated at the beginning, yet keep in mind it’s very easy to fall into the addiction trap again. It’s not easy to free your mind from pornography, you will have to be persistent. With time, you will think less and less about porn and find other things that will bring you excitement in life!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How To Respond to Verbal Abuse

How To Respond To Verbal Abuse In a Healthy Way

How To Respond To Verbal Abuse In a Healthy Way

 

This blog discussed how to respond to verbal abuse, when you are not in a dangerous situation.

If you are in a dangerous place and there is abuse, get out of that situation!

Most of us were NOT taught how to relate with clear or compassionate communication. Therefore, if you are in a place wondering how to respond to verbal abuse, you will get the tips you need here.

In our culture, we weren’t taught about healthy boundaries, on how to make requests (instead of demands).

What this means is that we will be spending our lives training in these NEW skills, and practicing them.

We start here in the AASECT Model of PLISSIT. P is for permission! A therapist will tell you that YOU are precious. You are perfectly imperfect in all human ways. Which means that ALL of you deserves to be seen and loved. In other words, ALL of your Inner Aspects deserve to be seen and loved by ourselves – by you!

Each of your inner parts have a purpose and need at the Boardroom Table in your mind… when these internal parts of us are recovered, discovered, uncovered and loved unconditionally by you.

The person who is verbally abusing you has a right to their parts too; however, you are allowed to request that they share those parts with themselves and find a new way to talk with you.

These parts of me have been given some chance to transform, heal, and these wounds can become wisdom for a new future as I sit and take the time to do the work.

So… I literally practice SELF Care. Really. Daily. I even talk to myself in my mind in a loving manner which I didn’t used to. It used to be seeing someone I cared about with someone else felt like I was LOSING something.

What I realize now, which I didn’t then, is that OTHERS may or may not be “up” for knowing my Inner Aspects. Not everyone wants to hear all inner parts unfiltered. That’s ok because our primary love relationship isn’t with another… it’s with yourself. To me, it is HEALTHY to move toward spending time with those with whom I can collaborate (in a healthy manner) on getting both of our needs met.

It is healthy to spend LESS time with those we cannot (including family and / or friends).

I work to lead my life as a centered, mature adult which sounds to me DIFFERENT than being in a relationship with those who continue to use verbal abuse when talking to me.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

10 Things To Do When Feeling Lonely

10 Things To Do When Feeling Lonely

 

Have you been feeling lonely or a bit down lately? Maybe you’ve noticed a lack of energy… 

Don’t worry, you are not the only one. 

The world is changing so rapidly, and adapting to it is becoming incredibly challenging for the majority of us. 

With the COVID pandemic around us, it’s really not a surprise that isolation led to more and more people feeling lonely.

But, this loneliness is definitely not something you should ignore. It’s one thing to feel sad or down a day or two due to the recent events in your life, however, when it affects your perspective on life, it’s time to do something about it.

Here are ten things you can do to not feel lonely and improve the quality of your spare time.

 

#1 Discover something new about yourself.

Is it time to take a paintbrush into your hand and start painting again like you used to do when you were a child? Or, maybe start writing short fiction stories which you used to love reading during your spring breaks? We’re not talking about hobbies or interests here, we’re talking about the activities that will wake up the creative, curious and content part of you. Just think about all those things you were always postponing to do and do them now. 

 

#2 Adopt an animal.

As much as animals are a responsibility, having them around can reduce the feeling of loneliness. They are great company, love to cuddle, go for walks and you’ll be thrilled once they learn a trick or two. If you’re not that sure it’s a smart move, why not provide a lovely cat or a dog with a home for just a few weeks? You will easily find this option in many animal organizations and shelters. 

 

#3 Reach out to an old friend.

Feeling of loneliness can sometimes appear when we don’t have anything new or exciting in our lives to connect with. Instead of going for a coffee with your best friend who knows you inside and out, how about reaching out to an old friend from your hometown or your school? You can use social media to reach out to them casually and ask them if they are available any time soon. And don’t worry if you don’t live close, you can always connect over a video call!

 

#4 Start volunteering.

You are probably passionate about a thing or two. How about you start investing your time in making the world a better place? When feeling lonely, sharing your time with those who need it will make you feel really fulfilled and connected with them. In the end, the feeling of belonging and seeing your value in the community will show you that you are never actually alone. You can even look for online volunteering opportunities, such as writing articles about women rights or helping launch creative eco-friendly campaigns.

 

#5 Create your wishlist.

Maybe you are feeling a bit stuck in this period of your life, but you can always use your imagination to escape. Where would you like to be in one year from now? How would you like your free time to be spent? Who would you like to be around? Is there any new sport or hobby you’d like to learn? Don’t limit yourself, write down everything that comes to mind. Once done, store it somewhere safe and wait for the next year to see how much of it you have accomplished.

 

#6 Write letters to your loneliness.

Treat the feeling of loneliness as your friend. Acknowledge it’s here and start writing letters to it. Write how it’s making you feel and what you like and don’t like about it. Not only will you feel better because you got all of that out of your system, but you will also start to differentiate that feeling from what you truly are. With time, you will understand that feeling lonely is only one part of you, but that it doesn’t define who you are. 

 

#7 Find you happy music, movies and shows.

What’s your favorite TV show that always makes you laugh even after watching it several times? What’s the music you will play if you want to dance and just jump around like nobody’s watching? Well, create your own list and once you feel lonely, blast that music or stream your favorite comedy and give yourself some time to laugh and simply to feel good. 

 

#8 Take a walk.

The majority of people will advise you to fight your loneliness with physical activity and although they are not wrong, it’s not that easy as it sounds. If you’re feeling lonely, you will probably not be inspired to go to the gym and spend 2 hours there. Instead, go for a walk and play a podcast you like or put on mediation music when you’re walking in the park or any other place that you like. If it’s one of those days where it’s difficult to even get out of bed, why don’t you walk to the restaurant in your neighbourhood and eat your breakfast there? As you probably won’t feel motivated to cook on days like these, walking to a restaurant is definitely a great idea!

 

#9 Invite a friend.

You will not feel lonely with company. And, as much as you are not motivated to invite someone over when you are feeling down, you should really do it. Invite them to prepare lunch with you, talk to you over a cup of coffee, help you organize your closet and get rid of the old clothes, fix broken things in your home, etc. Adding a purpose to it will bring additional value and create some good memories for both of you.

 

#10 Talk to a therapist.

When all of the above doesn’t work and you really don’t know what to do to stop feeling lonely, you should consider talking to a therapist. A professional will find the reasons why you are feeling like this and give you the best tools to manage it to have an exciting, healthy life. Talking always helps, but talking to someone who knows how to manage the situation you are in will be extremely beneficial for you in so many ways. You will already notice this after the first session, and be even more inspired to do all the other things from this list.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Anxiety Therapist

When is the Time to Visit an Anxiety Therapist?

When is the Time to Visit an Anxiety Therapist?

 

Nowadays, everyone is talking about anxiety and, although it’s generally a good thing, we tend to forget that people struggling with it deserve proper care and help. If you’re noticing signs of anxiety. Maybe it’s time to consider visiting an anxiety therapist who will provide you with the tools you need to successfully manage all areas of your life.  

To help you understand what anxiety is, how it can be treated and what are the first steps to take once you realize you have anxiety, read through all the important information about it below. 

 

First Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety symptoms usually will start in early childhood, but more than often they will not be detected on time. That’s why the majority of people get diagnosed with anxiety many years later. So, once a person is more aware of this disorder and how it’s affecting their everyday life, it’s much easier to find the right treatment and act accordingly.

These are the most common first signs of anxiety:

  • Feeling nervous or restless
  • Having unpleasant experiences such as panic or danger
  • Sweating
  • Increasing in the heart rate
  • Hyperventilating
  • Trembling
  • Having trouble concentrating

 

Different Types of Anxiety

Once you start researching this disorder, you will notice it has several types, and you have probably heard of almost all of them. Panic disorder, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress and generalized anxiety disorder are the six principal types of anxiety.

To be considered a disorder, anxiety has to cause distress which will make it difficult for the person to keep up with some or all areas of their lives. Anxiety disorders will not disappear on their own and if not treated on time, there’s a potential risk of developing depression as well. Luckily, many treatments have proven to be successful in people with anxiety so the person can get adequate care right away. 

 

Anxiety Treatments

With anxiety, the crucial thing to know is that every use of medication needs to be supervised. But, before even considering medications, you should be aware that therapy is the most effective treatment for people coping with anxiety.

An adequate therapy will give a person all the tools they need to successfully manage anxiety in all of their daily activities. The therapy is focused on making the person stronger and giving it the feeling of control which lacks when the first signs of anxiety appear. 

As there are plenty of therapists applying different therapeutic techniques. A person with anxiety disorder should always seek an anxiety therapist as they are solely focused on that particular area and work only with patients coping with anxiety. Talking to an anxiety therapist will provide them with exactly what they need from the first session.

 

Finding the Perfect Anxiety Therapist

For those who are struggling with anxiety, having a professional who is experienced in treating patients with anxiety is what gives hope and motivation to start the treatment. After all, one of the reasons why people don’t seek help is because they believe they will not receive the help they need.

Instead of treating all mental health problems, anxiety therapists have chosen anxiety as their area of interest. They are well experienced in the existing treatment methods and understand which is the adequate method for each of their patients. 

While searching for the right anxiety therapist, it’s vital to make the decision based on personal preferences. After all, a person will talk regularly with their chosen therapist and personal preference is an important factor of progress. To check if they have experience in treating anxiety, you can search their website or look for their interviews or published articles. 

Most importantly, check what their previous patients say about them. Good therapists will always be recommended on forums, social media groups and other platforms where people are sharing this type of information.

 

Tips for Coping with Anxiety 

Before sharing a few valuable pieces of advice on how you can make it a bit easier for yourself if you’re coping with anxiety, be aware that without professional help. It will be incredibly challenging to achieve progress. There will be days where you will feel good, but don’t forget that anxiety is a disorder and it needs to be treated. By ignoring it, you will only make it worse for yourself.

That being said, you will probably not be able to run to see your anxiety therapist immediately after experiencing an unpleasant event. So, what can you do?

  • Notice your anxiety and become its friend. Don’t try running away from it.
  • When you feel anxious, always remember to take 10 breaths slowly as it will relax you and reduce the tension in your body.
  • Anxiety has its triggers. Once you learn which are yours, try to be aware of them when you’re near them. This way, you won’t be so overwhelmed by your triggers.
  • Accept you cannot control the outside world. The one that you can control and can become more comfortable is inside you.
  • Share how you are feeling with a friend or family member who understands and conversation with them makes you feel better.
  • Start practicing meditation. Even 10 minutes per day can be beneficial for your mind and soul.
  • Don’t isolate yourself. To avoid diving into your anxiety, become more active and go for walks, runs or plan a dinner with friends.

 

Acceptance is the act of courage

If a person is struggling with anxiety, the first step to recovery is accepting it. Be brave enough to determine you will do everything it takes to have the great life you deserve. Anxiety can be successfully treated and just by talking to an anxiety therapist, you will notice incredible progress. 

Anxiety is only one part of your life, and just how you learn to manage other aspects of your life, you can learn to manage anxiety as well. In the end, you don’t have to control anxiety, you should only learn how to stop letting anxiety control you. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How to Deal with Anxiety

How to Deal with Anxiety

How to Deal with Anxiety

 

How to deal with anxiety, other than just seeing a therapist, is to notice what occupies space in the mind. 

Some of how to deal with anxiety may manifest in the body (such as lack of focus, nervousness, sweatiness, and restlessness). 

As with most problems, there are short-term “fixes” and long term “cures.”

 

Short-Term How To Deal With Anxiety

To get quick relief on how to deal with anxiety, you can combine one or more of these tips:

  • If you are anxious about something that is going to happen soon, such as a test or interview:
    • Do your homework
    • Ensure that you have reviewed everything pertinent to make yourself as prepared 
    • Being prepared is one of the best ways to avoid anxiety

  • When you notice the thought process of anxiousness beginning to happen, stop and take slow and deep breaths by keeping your entire focus on breathing. 
    • Try sitting in a comfortable position, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. 
    • If this does not help incorporate a muscle relaxation technique. 
    • Scrunch your toes tight then release them, and gradually work up your body.

  • If an anxious thought enters your mind and refuses to go away, force it out! 
    • Think of a color and imagine the color in your mind. 
    • Repeat the color, such as “Blue, blue, blue” until your mind releases the nagging thought.

  • Try to identify what it is about the situation which is making you anxious. 
    • If you are struggling to make a decision about something, make 2 lists: one of the positives about the decisions, and one with the negatives. 
    • Weigh each item on a scale of 1-10, and then add it up, so you can see which list outweighs the other.

  • Try not to worry about things you have no control over. 
    • Easier said than done! 
    • If you find thoughts of global warming, terrorism, or world peace are making you anxious, slow down and focus on what you can control in your local community. 
    • Think about what control you have over these topics. 
    • If reading about these topics on social media is fueling your anxiety, please stop reading them

  • Avoid taking on every project that comes along. 
    • It is okay to let go of things that are making you anxious. It is perfectly okay to say “NO!” 
    • Maintaining your life into an organized state where you feel comfortable is key.

  • Your emotional state affects your thought process, and can cause anxiety. 
    • Avoid clutter & clean up your space – it really helps. 
    • Even having fresh flowers on your counter can help brighten your mood.

  • Go for a walk and get some fresh air. 
    • Practice “walking mindfulness” which is where you walk and pay attention to the way you walk. 
    • Try to focus on appreciating that you are walking as opposed to letting your mind wander. 
    • By letting your mind wander or judge, it will tune into the same horror channels as before.
    • Stay in the moment and practice saying things to yourself like:
      • I love you
      • It’s going to be ok
      • I am listening

Dealing with immediate symptoms of anxiety will only provide short term relief. 

To be able to reduce your tendency to be anxious over the long run, you need to take a more organized approach to train your mind on how to deal with anxiety.

 

Long-Term How To Deal With Anxiety 

Identify and learn to manage your triggers:

  • When you figure out your trigger(s), you should try to limit your exposure if you can. 
  • If you cannot limit it, learn which coping methods work best for you. 
  • Some common triggers are stressful jobs, driving or traveling, withdrawal from alcohol, or trauma.

Do daily or routine meditation:

  • While this takes some practice to do successfully, mindful meditation, when done regularly, can eventually help you train your brain to dismiss anxious thoughts when they arise.

Try supplements or change your diet

  • Changing your diet or taking supplements is definitely a long-term strategy. 
  • Research shows supplements or nutrients can help mental health symptoms:
    • Examples include: fish oil, omega-3 fatty acids, Vitamin D, Green tea, vitamin B, etc. 

Supplements and nutrients can take up to three months before your body is running on the nutrients these herbs provide for your body.

Keep your body and mind healthy:

  • Exercising regularly 
  • Eating balanced meals
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Staying connected to people who care about you 

These are all ways on how to deal with your anxiety symptoms.  

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Emotional Detachment

Stop Emotional Detachment and Take A Time Out! 

Stop Emotional Detachment and Take A Time Out! 

 

If you experience emotional detachment while arguing with a partner, try something new. 

When you feel triggered by your partner(s), stop and take a time out with yourself. 

 

Unless there is violence happening, or there is a situation of life / death, the situation will benefit from time. 

Emotional detachment is when we hit an internal wall of intimacy due to recognizing our wounded past. 

When this happens, emotions are projected onto partner(s) or loved ones.

The goal is not to emotionally detach, yet to learn, to feel, to reveal, take responsibility and invite collaboration with others.

All those within an argument can ask for a time out when needed. 

Take a minimum of 20 minutes so that your prefrontal cortex can come back online! 

While you calm yourself down and / or slow down your numbness, try to stay emotionally engaged. 

Some things to consider asking:

  • What is the emotion of what I am feeling? 
  • What are the words in my head?
  • When is the earliest in my childhood that I recall saying these words inside my head 
  • When is the earliest in my childhood that I remember feeling this way?
  • Do any memories/pictures arise when I ask that?

Then, journal, dance, move through the emotion on your own. 

Use coping strategies (such as distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, grounding and meditation techniques) to tune into the CORE of the hurt. 

Then, go back to the person or event that was triggering. Now that you are resourced and more grounded, it is time to connect with another. 

Emotional detachment is harmful to the relationship, so it’s important to practice interpersonal connection with those you love instead. 

If you have consent, you can calmly and courageously reveal what is happening for you. 

 

Using Compassionate Communication instead of Emotional Detachment

  •  Make a request
  •  Let them know a limit or boundary
  •  Invite collaboration

 

“I am noticing that for me, when there is a tone of voice like I heard, it reminds me of an uncomfortable experience from my youth. I can either let you know in the future that that’s happening for me. Are you willing to be a part of redirecting the conversation?” 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How to get out of depression How to get out of depression

How to Get out of Depression – Step by Step Guide!

How to Get out of Depression – Step by Step Guide!

 

Depression is a complex illness and how to get out of depression is even more challenging. 

Depression can affect mental and emotional health, including physical, social, and professional side effects. How to get out of depression may be good for all to learn, as those we love may hide it. 

Put simply, the disorder is exhausting, life-altering, and sometimes deadly. 

Here are some ways to help you learn how to get out of depression! 

 

Step by Step Guide – You Can Read It In Order Or Apply Out Of Order!

 

Step One:

The low feeling might be caused by a chemical imbalance. Start by accessing what you are putting in your body. This includes smoking, drinking and food choices for those who are sensitive. After you have reviewed a couple days worth of intake choices, try by keeping the foods that are working and eliminating those that make your mental illness feel worse. If it has no effect, no problem. 

 

Step Two:

Do light exercising to get out of depression. Moving your body allows you to have a different relationship with your body. Not only does exercise allow for a distraction, it creates endorphins to help boost your mood. 

Depression is common among people who have had major surgeries or injuries, so be careful not to overdo it. A small chart or journal to record your daily activities will help you see the progress from the beginning. QUICK intervals of exercise are more effective than hurting yourself. 

 

Step Three:

If you are experiencing isolation, try a new or different environment. 

Maybe the living room of your house has little light and you feel extra gloomy in there. Have you considered that you can add a lamp? Even rearranging the furniture so your favorite chair is closer to the window might help create a new vibe in the room. 

In some cases, just finding 20 minutes to sit outside for fresh air can be the change of environment you need. Additionally, considering breaking out of the same routine each night can be a game changer too. Step by step on how to get out of depression is important. It isn’t going to happen all of the sudden!

 

Step Four:

Do something for someone else if you desire. So, by doing even the smallest thing for someone else (making them a card), your mood may get a boost. 

Sometimes depression can cause one to feel hopeless. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, focusing on what you change in the world is important. 

It could be as small as picking a flower on your walk to the bus stop and giving it to the lady you see daily. In response to a kind gesture, sometimes, people are gracious back. That warm feeling does not have to cost you money and you get the endorphins by contributing to someone’s day being brighter. Contribution is a basic human need and it will help our mental health if we can access it. 

 

Step Five:

Find a way to reduce stress. Therefore, care for yourself in ways that comfort you. Wear comfortable clothes, draw a warm bath weekly, or simply pick up a book. Each person is different. So, maybe for you it is taking a painting class or cooking a new recipe for dinner.

For me, looking up recipes can be calming, yet the making of the meal can get overwhelming. If this is also true for you, this will not help you get out of depression. 

Attune the activity for your benefit. Check in and ask yourself what you did for hours as a child that brought you joy. 

 

Step Six:

Find “you” time by keeping boundaries. It is important to ensure time for yourself and a space where you feel relaxed. 

While life may take its toll, remember to shut all the daily bothers at a certain time of day (even for 15 minutes) just focus on you. 

The time away from the troublesome bothers of your day will help you refresh and be able to handle them better.

If this doesn’t work, put in 15 minutes a day to actually fixate on what is bothering you, so then the rest of the day, you eliminate the automatic negative thoughts. 

 

Step Seven: Reconnect with Nature. While it seems easier said than done, many people do this daily and do not realize it. How many of you noticed the lack of attunement to others and nature during the pandemic quarantine? 

While some may think of reconnecting with nature as going hiking or camping, it could be as simple as opening your Uber window. The littlest observations with nature can help soothe and give your mind a new focus.

Buying a bird feeder and hanging out a window each day is one example of how to appreciate nature. 

As the seasons change you can observe what new birds come back during the year. This is something that I learned from living in a first responder family, because nature can be incredibly healing when you are terrorized weekly by what you see in your career.

 

Step Eight:

Chart & record your progress. Even the smallest improvements can be celebrated. Whether you choose to try all of the steps above or simply pick one and see how your mood changes, remember the smallest improvement can help you combat depression.

Overall, there is not one set way on how to get out of depression or cure your symptoms. It is important that we are equitable with ourselves and others to give them what they need. 

Depression does take time to combat, and each step in this guide can help lead you in the right direction. Of course, if you need personalized attention, seek counseling and psychotherapy! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Coping with Depression

Coping with Depression in a Loved One

Coping with Depression in a Loved One

 

If you are coping with depression in a loved one, it can sometimes feel hopeless.

Depression is a serious yet treatable disorder that affects millions of people – irregardless of age. From young to old and from all walks of life, coping with depression in a loved one can be a challenge. 

Symptoms of depression can cause tremendous pain; hurting not just those suffering, yet impacting loved ones around them. 

If someone you love is depressed, you may be experiencing difficult emotions. You may feel helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. These feelings are all normal. 

It is not easy coping with a loved one’s  depression, yet be mindful not to neglect individual health and wellness.

 

Depression is a serious condition

Do not underestimate the seriousness of depression. 

Depression drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation. 

Your depressed loved one can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will.

 

The symptoms of depression are not personal

Depression makes it difficult for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people they love the most. It’s also common for depressed people to say hurtful things and lash out in anger. Remember that this is the depression talking, not your loved one, so try not to take it personally.

 

Hiding the problem will not make it go away

It does not help anyone involved if you try making excuses, covering up the problem, or lying for a friend or family member who is depressed. In fact, this may keep the depressed person from seeking treatment.

 

Your loved one isn’t lazy or unmotivated.

When you are suffering from depression, just thinking about doing the things that may help you to feel better can seem exhausting or impossible to put into action. Have patience as you encourage your loved one to take the first small steps to recovery. One way to help is also, by leading by example. If your loved one struggles trying to see something positive for the day try to find something each day and point it out.

 

You cannot “fix” someone else’s depression.

As much as you may want to, you can’t rescue someone from depression nor fix the problem for them. You are not to blame for your loved one’s depression or responsible for their happiness (or lack thereof). While you can offer love and support, ultimately recovery is in the hands of the depressed person. But you can help, encourage them to be active. Whether it is taking a walk together each night or going out to dinner just changing the scenery for them can help boost their overall mood.

Sometimes just being able to be someone your loved one can talk to is the best thing for them. Most people feel that when someone comes to you to talk, you have to have a solution or an answer to fix what is going on. With someone who is depressed, by you just being a listener is a huge thing for them. Also know going in one heart to heart conversation is not going to “fix” them. By being a willing listener and encouraging them to open up about their feelings and be willing to listen without judgement is an important factor in helping them cope.  Remember, by being supportive means offering encouragement and hope. This also means being able to talk to them in a language they understand and can respond to in their depressed state of mind.

It may be hard to believe that the person you know, and love would ever consider something as drastic as suicide. But a depressed person may not see any other way out. Depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, causing a normally rational person to believe that death is the only way to end the pain they are feeling. If your loved one is mentioning or has thoughts of suicide, do not wait to talk to them about their feelings. Many people feel uncomfortable when the topic arises. But it is one of the best things you can do for someone who is contemplating suicide. If you feel you cannot help your loved one, please reach out and get professional help.

While you cannot control someone else’s recovery from depression, you can start by encouraging your loved one to seek help for coping with depression. 

Your loved one might be overwhelmed in making the appointment or seeking the correct clinician. Ask if they want your help to motivate them into securing an appointment. 

This just might be what they need to start coping with the symptoms and get the ball rolling to recovery. 

The most important part of your loved one’s journey to coping from depression is support. 

Whether it means being there to listen after seeking help from a therapist, support is huge in recovery. 

Any steps to help overcome the larger hurdles in daily lives will help your loved one create the life they want. 

If you need extra support, seek help.  

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

May Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. 

The purpose of Mental Health Awareness in May is to create opportunities to advocate about mental health and why it’s important.

I cannot say enough the importance of building more awareness, education, and compassion around various aspects of mental health. 

 

Mental Health Matters! 

Every person has mental health. Mental health does not only matter for those who fit into specific categories in the DSM. For many years, mental health and therapy have been stigmatized in our society resulting in inaccurate information and harmful stereotypes.

Many of the clients I work with are focused on deconstructing these narratives that there is “something wrong with them” for seeking therapy. We often explore where these beliefs came from, where they learned it, and provide education around what mental health is. 

Mental health matters!

And if we ignore our own mental health there are higher likelihood of engaging in maladaptive strategies to deal with our emotions, within our relationships. And usually increases likelihood of physical health issues. 

When we do not acknowledge the person as a whole (mind, body, and spirit) we miss opportunities for healing and growth physically and mentally. May reminds us of the importance of focusing on our mental, emotional, and psychological needs rather than just our physical selves. 

 

Mental Health and Trauma

A large component of mental health is trauma. Trauma is “an emotional embodiment hangover” where an event or events occur resulting in the stress being stored in your body. And brain resulting in a variety of symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance, depression, anxiety, nightmares, paranoia, hypervigilance, etc).

Trauma is NOT just extreme events like car accidents, death, gun violence, war, etc. Although these events certainly are traumatic, trauma is much more broad than what we have stereotypically acknowledged before. Acknowledging the depth of what trauma can be is necessary to engage in supporting people’s mental health. With the limited definition our society has worked within, it  minimizes and dismisses how trauma has impacted much of the population thus minimizing our ability to recognize and acknowledge mental health in each individual. 

As a therapist who does much of my work through a trauma lens, I see how significant trauma impacts people’s mental health. If we look at Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) we can see how trauma is a public health issue. 

Our brains and bodies get stuck in these events and often cannot differentiate between what is currently happening and the trauma that we experienced. This lights up pathways in our brain to tell us something is not right. When someone has experienced chronic trauma or has lived in “fight, flight, or fawn” for an extended period of time. People’s brains are more apt to respond as if the trauma is occurring again. 

 

Tips to Help Your Mental Health

  • Drink lots of water, staying hydrated actually helps you mentally as well as physically
  • Sleep the appropriate amount for your age (usually somewhere between 7-9 hours for the average adult). Sleep increases our emotional resources and functioning
  • Meditate! Meditation or other mindful activities has been shown to greatly aid people’s ability to self-regulate. Improve their mental and emotional well being. Increases Mind/Body connection
  • Deep breath… if you can practice deep breathing (diaphragmatic) you are finding the most accessible coping skill you can use anywhere. Breathing helps us calm our bodies in order to calm our minds
  • Move your body… emotion requires motion… moving our bodies allows us to move energy and emotion within us
  • Set boundaries for yourself around time to focus on your emotional and mental needs
  • Set boundaries in relationships and identify ways to communicate your needs to those around you
  • Find a therapist, life coach, or religious or spiritual support to aid you on your journey of healing and/or growth

 

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.