How to Deal with Anxiety

How to Deal with Anxiety

How to Deal with Anxiety

 

How to deal with anxiety, other than just seeing a therapist, is to notice what occupies space in the mind. 

Some of how to deal with anxiety may manifest in the body (such as lack of focus, nervousness, sweatiness, and restlessness). 

As with most problems, there are short-term “fixes” and long term “cures.”

 

Short-Term How To Deal With Anxiety

To get quick relief on how to deal with anxiety, you can combine one or more of these tips:

  • If you are anxious about something that is going to happen soon, such as a test or interview:
    • Do your homework
    • Ensure that you have reviewed everything pertinent to make yourself as prepared 
    • Being prepared is one of the best ways to avoid anxiety

  • When you notice the thought process of anxiousness beginning to happen, stop and take slow and deep breaths by keeping your entire focus on breathing. 
    • Try sitting in a comfortable position, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. 
    • If this does not help incorporate a muscle relaxation technique. 
    • Scrunch your toes tight then release them, and gradually work up your body.

  • If an anxious thought enters your mind and refuses to go away, force it out! 
    • Think of a color and imagine the color in your mind. 
    • Repeat the color, such as “Blue, blue, blue” until your mind releases the nagging thought.

  • Try to identify what it is about the situation which is making you anxious. 
    • If you are struggling to make a decision about something, make 2 lists: one of the positives about the decisions, and one with the negatives. 
    • Weigh each item on a scale of 1-10, and then add it up, so you can see which list outweighs the other.

  • Try not to worry about things you have no control over. 
    • Easier said than done! 
    • If you find thoughts of global warming, terrorism, or world peace are making you anxious, slow down and focus on what you can control in your local community. 
    • Think about what control you have over these topics. 
    • If reading about these topics on social media is fueling your anxiety, please stop reading them

  • Avoid taking on every project that comes along. 
    • It is okay to let go of things that are making you anxious. It is perfectly okay to say “NO!” 
    • Maintaining your life into an organized state where you feel comfortable is key.

  • Your emotional state affects your thought process, and can cause anxiety. 
    • Avoid clutter & clean up your space – it really helps. 
    • Even having fresh flowers on your counter can help brighten your mood.

  • Go for a walk and get some fresh air. 
    • Practice “walking mindfulness” which is where you walk and pay attention to the way you walk. 
    • Try to focus on appreciating that you are walking as opposed to letting your mind wander. 
    • By letting your mind wander or judge, it will tune into the same horror channels as before/
    • Stay in the moment and practice saying things to yourself like:
      • I love you
      • It’s going to be ok
      • I am listening

Dealing with immediate symptoms of anxiety will only provide short term relief. 

To be able to reduce your tendency to be anxious over the long run, you need to take a more organized approach to train your mind on how to deal with anxiety.

 

Long-Term How To Deal With Anxiety 

Identify and learn to manage your triggers:

  • When you figure out your trigger(s), you should try to limit your exposure if you can. 
  • If you cannot limit it, learn which coping methods work best for you. 
  • Some common triggers are stressful jobs, driving or traveling, withdrawal from alcohol, or trauma.

Do daily or routine meditation:

  • While this takes some practice to do successfully, mindful meditation, when done regularly, can eventually help you train your brain to dismiss anxious thoughts when they arise.

Try supplements or change your diet

  • Changing your diet or taking supplements is definitely a long-term strategy. 
  • Research shows supplements or nutrients can help mental health symptoms:
    • Examples include: fish oil, omega-3 fatty acids, Vitamin D, Green tea, vitamin B, etc. 

Supplements and nutrients can take up to three months before your body is running on the nutrients these herbs provide for your body.

Keep your body and mind healthy:

  • Exercising regularly 
  • Eating balanced meals
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Staying connected to people who care about you 

These are all ways on how to deal with your anxiety symptoms.  

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Emotional Detachment

Stop Emotional Detachment and Take A Time Out! 

Stop Emotional Detachment and Take A Time Out! 

 

If you experience emotional detachment while arguing with a partner, try something new. 

When you feel triggered by your partner(s), stop and take a time out with yourself. 

 

Unless there is violence happening, or there is a situation of life / death, the situation will benefit from time. 

Emotional detachment is when we hit an internal wall of intimacy due to recognizing our wounded past. 

When this happens, emotions are projected onto partner(s) or loved ones.

The goal is not to emotionally detach, yet to learn, to feel, to reveal, take responsibility and invite collaboration with others.

All those within an argument can ask for a time out when needed. 

Take a minimum of 20 minutes so that your prefrontal cortex can come back online! 

While you calm yourself down and / or slow down your numbness, try to stay emotionally engaged. 

Some things to consider asking:

  • What is the emotion of what I am feeling? 
  • What are the words in my head?
  • When is the earliest in my childhood that I recall saying these words inside my head 
  • When is the earliest in my childhood that I remember feeling this way?
  • Do any memories/pictures arise when I ask that?

Then, journal, dance, move through the emotion on your own. 

Use coping strategies (such as distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, grounding and meditation techniques) to tune into the CORE of the hurt. 

Then, go back to the person or event that was triggering. Now that you are resourced and more grounded, it is time to connect with another. 

Emotional detachment is harmful to the relationship, so it’s important to practice interpersonal connection with those you love instead. 

If you have consent, you can calmly and courageously reveal what is happening for you. 

 

Using Compassionate Communication instead of Emotional Detachment

  •  Make a request
  •  Let them know a limit or boundary
  •  Invite collaboration

 

“I am noticing that for me, when there is a tone of voice like I heard, it reminds me of an uncomfortable experience from my youth. I can either let you know in the future that that’s happening for me. Are you willing to be a part of redirecting the conversation?” 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How to get out of depression How to get out of depression

How to Get out of Depression – Step by Step Guide!

How to Get out of Depression – Step by Step Guide!

 

Depression is a complex illness and how to get out of depression is even more challenging. 

Depression can affect mental and emotional health, including physical, social, and professional side effects. How to get out of depression may be good for all to learn, as those we love may hide it. 

Put simply, the disorder is exhausting, life-altering, and sometimes deadly. 

Here are some ways to help you learn how to get out of depression! 

 

Step by Step Guide – You Can Read It In Order Or Apply Out Of Order!

 

Step One:

The low feeling might be caused by a chemical imbalance. Start by accessing what you are putting in your body. This includes smoking, drinking and food choices for those who are sensitive. After you have reviewed a couple days worth of intake choices, try by keeping the foods that are working and eliminating those that make your mental illness feel worse. If it has no effect, no problem. 

 

Step Two:

Do light exercising to get out of depression. Moving your body allows you to have a different relationship with your body. Not only does exercise allow for a distraction, it creates endorphins to help boost your mood. 

Depression is common among people who have had major surgeries or injuries, so be careful not to overdo it. A small chart or journal to record your daily activities will help you see the progress from the beginning. QUICK intervals of exercise are more effective than hurting yourself. 

 

Step Three:

If you are experiencing isolation, try a new or different environment. 

Maybe the living room of your house has little light and you feel extra gloomy in there. Have you considered that you can add a lamp? Even rearranging the furniture so your favorite chair is closer to the window might help create a new vibe in the room. 

In some cases, just finding 20 minutes to sit outside for fresh air can be the change of environment you need. Additionally, considering breaking out of the same routine each night can be a game changer too. Step by step on how to get out of depression is important. It isn’t going to happen all of the sudden!

 

Step Four:

Do something for someone else if you desire. So, by doing even the smallest thing for someone else (making them a card), your mood may get a boost. 

Sometimes depression can cause one to feel hopeless. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, focusing on what you change in the world is important. 

It could be as small as picking a flower on your walk to the bus stop and giving it to the lady you see daily. In response to a kind gesture, sometimes, people are gracious back. That warm feeling does not have to cost you money and you get the endorphins by contributing to someone’s day being brighter. Contribution is a basic human need and it will help our mental health if we can access it. 

 

Step Five:

Find a way to reduce stress. Therefore, care for yourself in ways that comfort you. Wear comfortable clothes, draw a warm bath weekly, or simply pick up a book. Each person is different. So, maybe for you it is taking a painting class or cooking a new recipe for dinner.

For me, looking up recipes can be calming, yet the making of the meal can get overwhelming. If this is also true for you, this will not help you get out of depression. 

Attune the activity for your benefit. Check in and ask yourself what you did for hours as a child that brought you joy. 

 

Step Six:

Find “you” time by keeping boundaries. It is important to ensure time for yourself and a space where you feel relaxed. 

While life may take its toll, remember to shut all the daily bothers at a certain time of day (even for 15 minutes) just focus on you. 

The time away from the troublesome bothers of your day will help you refresh and be able to handle them better.

If this doesn’t work, put in 15 minutes a day to actually fixate on what is bothering you, so then the rest of the day, you eliminate the automatic negative thoughts. 

 

Step Seven: Reconnect with Nature. While it seems easier said than done, many people do this daily and do not realize it. How many of you noticed the lack of attunement to others and nature during the pandemic quarantine? 

While some may think of reconnecting with nature as going hiking or camping, it could be as simple as opening your Uber window. The littlest observations with nature can help soothe and give your mind a new focus.

Buying a bird feeder and hanging out a window each day is one example of how to appreciate nature. 

As the seasons change you can observe what new birds come back during the year. This is something that I learned from living in a first responder family, because nature can be incredibly healing when you are terrorized weekly by what you see in your career.

 

Step Eight:

Chart & record your progress. Even the smallest improvements can be celebrated. Whether you choose to try all of the steps above or simply pick one and see how your mood changes, remember the smallest improvement can help you combat depression.

Overall, there is not one set way on how to get out of depression or cure your symptoms. It is important that we are equitable with ourselves and others to give them what they need. 

Depression does take time to combat, and each step in this guide can help lead you in the right direction. Of course, if you need personalized attention, seek counseling and psychotherapy! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Coping with Depression

Coping with Depression in a Loved One

Coping with Depression in a Loved One

 

If you are coping with depression in a loved one, it can sometimes feel hopeless.

Depression is a serious yet treatable disorder that affects millions of people – irregardless of age. From young to old and from all walks of life, coping with depression in a loved one can be a challenge. 

Symptoms of depression can cause tremendous pain; hurting not just those suffering, yet impacting loved ones around them. 

If someone you love is depressed, you may be experiencing difficult emotions. You may feel helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness. These feelings are all normal. 

It is not easy coping with a loved one’s  depression, yet be mindful not to neglect individual health and wellness.

 

Depression is a serious condition

Do not underestimate the seriousness of depression. 

Depression drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation. 

Your depressed loved one can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will.

 

The symptoms of depression are not personal

Depression makes it difficult for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people they love the most. It’s also common for depressed people to say hurtful things and lash out in anger. Remember that this is the depression talking, not your loved one, so try not to take it personally.

 

Hiding the problem will not make it go away

It does not help anyone involved if you try making excuses, covering up the problem, or lying for a friend or family member who is depressed. In fact, this may keep the depressed person from seeking treatment.

 

Your loved one isn’t lazy or unmotivated.

When you are suffering from depression, just thinking about doing the things that may help you to feel better can seem exhausting or impossible to put into action. Have patience as you encourage your loved one to take the first small steps to recovery. One way to help is also, by leading by example. If your loved one struggles trying to see something positive for the day try to find something each day and point it out.

 

You cannot “fix” someone else’s depression.

As much as you may want to, you can’t rescue someone from depression nor fix the problem for them. You are not to blame for your loved one’s depression or responsible for their happiness (or lack thereof). While you can offer love and support, ultimately recovery is in the hands of the depressed person. But you can help, encourage them to be active. Whether it is taking a walk together each night or going out to dinner just changing the scenery for them can help boost their overall mood.

Sometimes just being able to be someone your loved one can talk to is the best thing for them. Most people feel that when someone comes to you to talk, you have to have a solution or an answer to fix what is going on. With someone who is depressed, by you just being a listener is a huge thing for them. Also know going in one heart to heart conversation is not going to “fix” them. By being a willing listener and encouraging them to open up about their feelings and be willing to listen without judgement is an important factor in helping them cope.  Remember, by being supportive means offering encouragement and hope. This also means being able to talk to them in a language they understand and can respond to in their depressed state of mind.

It may be hard to believe that the person you know, and love would ever consider something as drastic as suicide. But a depressed person may not see any other way out. Depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, causing a normally rational person to believe that death is the only way to end the pain they are feeling. If your loved one is mentioning or has thoughts of suicide, do not wait to talk to them about their feelings. Many people feel uncomfortable when the topic arises. But it is one of the best things you can do for someone who is contemplating suicide. If you feel you cannot help your loved one, please reach out and get professional help.

While you cannot control someone else’s recovery from depression, you can start by encouraging your loved one to seek help for coping with depression. 

Your loved one might be overwhelmed in making the appointment or seeking the correct clinician. Ask if they want your help to motivate them into securing an appointment. 

This just might be what they need to start coping with the symptoms and get the ball rolling to recovery. 

The most important part of your loved one’s journey to coping from depression is support. 

Whether it means being there to listen after seeking help from a therapist, support is huge in recovery. 

Any steps to help overcome the larger hurdles in daily lives will help your loved one create the life they want. 

If you need extra support, seek help.  

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

May Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. 

The purpose of Mental Health Awareness in May is to create opportunities to advocate about mental health and why it’s important.

I cannot say enough the importance of building more awareness, education, and compassion around various aspects of mental health. 

 

Mental Health Matters! 

Every person has mental health. Mental health does not only matter for those who fit into specific categories in the DSM. For many years, mental health and therapy have been stigmatized in our society resulting in inaccurate information and harmful stereotypes.

Many of the clients I work with are focused on deconstructing these narratives that there is “something wrong with them” for seeking therapy. We often explore where these beliefs came from, where they learned it, and provide education around what mental health is. 

Mental health matters!

And if we ignore our own mental health there are higher likelihood of engaging in maladaptive strategies to deal with our emotions, within our relationships. And usually increases likelihood of physical health issues. 

When we do not acknowledge the person as a whole (mind, body, and spirit) we miss opportunities for healing and growth physically and mentally. May reminds us of the importance of focusing on our mental, emotional, and psychological needs rather than just our physical selves. 

 

Mental Health and Trauma

A large component of mental health is trauma. Trauma is “an emotional embodiment hangover” where an event or events occur resulting in the stress being stored in your body. And brain resulting in a variety of symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance, depression, anxiety, nightmares, paranoia, hypervigilance, etc).

Trauma is NOT just extreme events like car accidents, death, gun violence, war, etc. Although these events certainly are traumatic, trauma is much more broad than what we have stereotypically acknowledged before. Acknowledging the depth of what trauma can be is necessary to engage in supporting people’s mental health. With the limited definition our society has worked within, it  minimizes and dismisses how trauma has impacted much of the population thus minimizing our ability to recognize and acknowledge mental health in each individual. 

As a therapist who does much of my work through a trauma lens, I see how significant trauma impacts people’s mental health. If we look at Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) we can see how trauma is a public health issue. 

Our brains and bodies get stuck in these events and often cannot differentiate between what is currently happening and the trauma that we experienced. This lights up pathways in our brain to tell us something is not right. When someone has experienced chronic trauma or has lived in “fight, flight, or fawn” for an extended period of time. People’s brains are more apt to respond as if the trauma is occurring again. 

 

Tips to Help Your Mental Health

  • Drink lots of water, staying hydrated actually helps you mentally as well as physically
  • Sleep the appropriate amount for your age (usually somewhere between 7-9 hours for the average adult). Sleep increases our emotional resources and functioning
  • Meditate! Meditation or other mindful activities has been shown to greatly aid people’s ability to self-regulate. Improve their mental and emotional well being. Increases Mind/Body connection
  • Deep breath… if you can practice deep breathing (diaphragmatic) you are finding the most accessible coping skill you can use anywhere. Breathing helps us calm our bodies in order to calm our minds
  • Move your body… emotion requires motion… moving our bodies allows us to move energy and emotion within us
  • Set boundaries for yourself around time to focus on your emotional and mental needs
  • Set boundaries in relationships and identify ways to communicate your needs to those around you
  • Find a therapist, life coach, or religious or spiritual support to aid you on your journey of healing and/or growth

 

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

take charge of your life using IAM

Take charge of your life using Inner Aspects Method (IAM)

Take charge of your life using Inner Aspects Method (IAM)

 

Take charge of your life using the Inner Aspects Method if your life feels out of control. 

In American culture, it is common and normal to control and punish children. The idea behind this is that punishment can turn individuals into those that comply and obey. 

Research shows that individuals are more traumatized, repressed, suppressed, or depressed. Many people are overmedicated or experiencing distress and soothing it with their own “medicine”. Some turn to impulsions – food, sex, drinking, drugs, self-harm, affairs, etc. 

We turn to plastic surgery, eating disorders, shaming, and / or blaming to get our way and alleviate the pain. Instead of turning inward, we go outward to feel better. 

Then, sometimes, we may take advantage of others while being overly focused on ourselves. 

Individuals that are seeking power over others because they feel powerless. 

There are many individuals who report profound pain – emotional and / or physical due to their life. Many individuals choose to live in what they know. And what is certain to them, in an attempt to avoid feeling. 

It is important to begin to take charge of your life. Through the IAM model, we can do this. 

Are others confused by you? Or do those around seem to be contradictory? 

Sometimes, people will say one thing one day, and then do something the next day that doesn’t align or match up. 

When others are speaking conflicting statements, does it cause you to wonder if they are crazy? 

More often than I am comfortable with, I realize that individuals make agreements one day. And then with another day and in another context, they are acting an entirely different way. 

Are others lying to themselves or is the world lying? 

It all felt confusing until I learned the Inner Aspect Method (IAM) created by Francesca Gentille. As the creator of the model, she founded this based on Evidence-Based Principles within clinical practice. 

Actually, Dr Joe Dispenza says that 95% of who we think we are by the time we are 35 are our Survival Programs.

 

The first step in the IAM process is to slow down your thoughts and emotions, so that you can observe the patterns of your behavior to see what need they are meeting. 

So, have you heard of nonviolent communication theory? If not, this is the approach that we use in some of the IAM modality. 

For individuals that are sensitive to their emotions and feel that they want a new way of approaching them, this method is incredibly useful. 

Don’t just jump to anger or upset feelings; learn to speak for your feeling (“on behalf of the feeling”). Instead of from your feeling (using a tone of voice to express emotion). 

For example, saying this: My feelings are hurt, so I request 30 minutes or more to process them so I can better communicate with you after. If we can allow some time, I will be able to speak on behalf of the message of my feelings instead of with an emotional tone. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Technology Addiction

Stop Technology Addiction by Setting Boundaries with Social Media Engagement

Stop Technology Addiction by Setting Boundaries with Social Media Engagement

 

Do you have a technology addiction where you spend hours scrolling? 

Maybe technology, television, or social media is more appealing than spending time with others.

If you are missing out on what you love though, learn to set boundaries with social media engagement and your technology addiction of choice. 

Why Are Boundaries Important with Technology Addiction? 

Setting boundaries are necessary when it comes to social media. Constant scrolling, engaging or focus on social media causes increased stress, anxiety, and depression. 

The social comparison piece of social media has grown so intensely that I have clients who truly struggle with seeing the lives of those around them. And the problem with this snapshot on social media is it is often only one aspect of that person’s life. 

Other’s have found that they are more irritable, anxious, angry, or depressed. Through exploration, it became clear that my clients were spending an extraordinary amount of time on social media. And were becoming more activated as they were scrolling and seeing various things within their feed, stories, or reels. 

If you are spending hours upon hours on social media and struggling with sleep, mood, or completing tasks these all may be signs that you need to re-evaluate your boundaries around your social media usage. 

These technology boundaries can look like: 

  • Having specific times that you engage with social media
  • Changing your notification settings on your devices
  • Limiting the types of social media platforms you use
  • Have a time limit for each device (including Netflix or your firestick) 
  • Changing those that you are “following” or “friends” with 
  • Unfollow is an option for those that 
  • Identify the reasons and purpose of following certain things 
  • If it is someone providing advice or health information, figure out how that information is related to their experiences and make informed choices!

If you have any questions about technology addiction for yourself or others, let us know. Take your life to the next level through personalized sessions using Text Therapy.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotional Breakdown

Emotional Breakdown and How To Help

Emotional Breakdown and How To Help

 

All people feel some degree of stress in their life, yet an emotional breakdown is different than this. 

When pressure begins to overwhelm an individual to the point where their professional or personal wellbeing is compromised. Symptoms of a nervous breakdown are then apparent. 

So, if you are experiencing the signs of a breakdown, you may be afraid to discuss what is happening. 

Similarly, you may find yourself hesitant to reach out to a close friend or family member who is struggling with such an issue.

What is an Emotional Breakdown? 

An emotional breakdown can be described as an anxiety or panic attack, a trauma disorder, or stress that can lead to serious consequences if left untreated. 

In many cases, a major psychological disorder is not diagnosed until a nervous breakdown occurs, as it is the event that finally brings someone into inpatient mental health treatment. 

Secondly, the term emotional breakdown can be used to describe a personal meltdown of an individual who just does not know how to cope with a current situation. 

This can include episodes of uncontrollable weeping, withdrawal from loved ones and an inability to connect with everyday life. 

While still quite devastating, this latter description is much more easy to resolve and usually does not seriously endanger a person.

What Are The Symptoms of an Emotional Breakdown? 

These breakdown symptoms vary greatly from person to person, yet usually involve some combination of physical and emotional characteristics. 

A disinterest in life whether it be it professional or family related is usually the most common. In some cases, there is a significant event that causes a breakdown to spiral out of control. An example might be a sudden loss of a child, or divorce. 

Those on the brink of such a breakdown may also experience changes in their sleep patterns, either sleeping extraordinarily little or not being able to rouse themselves out of bed. 

Changes in appetite can occur, with binge eating or a complete lack of desire for food being the most common manifestations.

Whatever the cause or reason, signs of a nervous breakdown should not be ignored. Rarely is there a circumstance where an individual experiencing such symptoms just needs to “take it easy.” 

Tips To Help Others in their Emotional Breakdown

It is usually a serious predicament, not often something an individual is able to pull herself out of with her own strength or willpower. 

If you know someone having an emotional breakdown, the first thing you can do is be a good listener. Sometimes people need others to share with; this can help them overcome what they are feeling. 

This means that as the listener, you do not have to give advice or your opinion on the situation. Emotional Breakdown

You can cause more damage if you encourage an individual to just “snap out of it”. Or tell them “other people have it worse.” 

This can invalidate emotions and compel them to feel ashamed or guilty about their current situation.

Confidentiality is key when helping someone who is having a breakdown. 

Remember the struggle is not your news to share, and it is important you remain non-judgmental and practice self-restraint. 

If you cannot do this, find someone who can, and do not leave a person unattended at the height of crisis.

Fortunately, many people are able to bounce back from an emotional breakdown after the root issue is resolved, yet not all! 

Advocate for Mental Health Services

Sometimes this involves a change of circumstance, and often it means counseling and / or psychotropic medication or supplements. There are so many options and resources for those who are hurting spiritually and emotionally. They just need to find them.

Never be afraid to express your concern for a friend or family member. As your commitment and self-sacrifice may even save a life.

It is natural to experience anger, jealousy, and hurt yet it is all about how you handle those emotions. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by these emotions, or that you spend too much energy getting over them? Everyone could use some healthy options for dealing with difficult emotions. Some healthy options include going for a walk, or even calling a friend to talk.

Lifestyle modifications can help you prevent a nervous breakdown. They can also help lessen the severity and frequency of them. These include:

  • getting regular exercise at least 3 times a week, which can be as simple as walking around your neighborhood for 30 minutes.
  • going to a therapist or attending counseling sessions to manage stress
  • avoiding drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and other substances that create stress on the body
  • getting regular sleep and sleeping for at least six hours a night
  • incorporating relaxation techniques like deep breathing into your daily routine.
  • reducing your stress level by pacing yourself and taking mini-breaks. Better organizing your environment and daily activities, and keeping a daily to-do list

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Setting Boundaries

Using the Inner Aspects Method for Setting Boundaries in Conversations

Using the Inner Aspects Method for Setting Boundaries in Conversations

 

Many times, clients ask how to use the Inner Aspects Method (IAM) for setting boundaries in conversations. 

When it comes to conversation, be intentional about what you can offer and what you cannot.

Boundaries within communication are important to any respectful exchange.

Yet most of us know that if we respond and engage too quickly in a conversation without awareness of our limits, boundaries, and true needs, that we often can cause a disconnect between ourselves and another.

We use the Inner Aspects Method to stop, take a breath, and observe what is going on. 

Often, our adult part, our representative is a mask of a younger self that is often more nervous, anxious. This part may be afraid of abandonment or afraid of entrapment. 

Parts Theory

To have more responsible and respectful conversations and connections, it is important to look at a situation from various angles and perspectives.

You ever see people get rageful on the road driving? What about silly and playful? What about numb and mindless. This is a quick way to discuss parts theory. Moment to moment, we can get hijacked by different parts of us.

Even though we only have one body, we have multiple parts of our identity. 

While observing, it is often necessary to take a step back from how you usually view the world to find a more observational self (a helicopter view of your life) to identify what you are feeling and what you need.

Emotions are the messenger and not the message. An emotion lets us know that we are feeling something strongly. A boundary has been crosse, something is important to us, etc. 

Our emotions are for us to know. In healthy boundary setting and conversations, the emotion is something to process with yourself or with someone who consents to hearing the emotion. 

If another person consents to hearing what you have to say, let them know up front what you are comfortable with as a response. Ask the person speaking if they want reflective listening, one of your life experiences, or something else. 

Examples of Setting Boundaries and Accountability in Conversations

  • I feel unheard and disrespected in our relationship.. 
  • I choose to share my time with those that are respectful, accountable, compassionate. And work towards their own growth and healing.
  • When I perceive to be disrespected, teased, when sarcasm is used, when my boundaries are not heard or acknowledged, it results in me feeling less connected to you and less of a desire to be with you in the future. If your goal is to create a healthy relationship with me. I ask you to find an alternative approach with me when expressing your emotions… 
  • I feel frustrated and harmed when I receive advice from you that I have not requested. Or when you tell me how much you love me and then react angrily. I feel upset and hopeless when you use guilt as I then try to set boundaries.
  • Also I would feel more willing to create connections if my requests and boundaries were value. And to see that you are dedicated to making shifts in our relationship. If you are confused on what I need, I can share that more clearly. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Social Media Therapy – “I Saw on Tik Tok [or Instagram]”

Social Media Therapy – “I Saw on Tik Tok [or Instagram]”

 

Generally speaking, and more frequently since COVID started, many individuals are engaging in social media therapy. “I saw it on Tik Tok or Instagram” is now a common occurrence. 

The purpose of this blog is to address this phenomenon and provide tools to identify what is actually helpful for your mental health that you might see on social media. 

Social Media Therapy

With all the social media platforms, there is a mass amount of information accessible to individuals based on what they “like” or “heart” and based on what they follow due to the algorithms.

These algorithms have set individuals up to connect with what they seem to be most interested in and what they search as most relevant to their lives. 

In some ways, this is beneficial, and in other ways, this is not helpful. 

Social media therapy matters as it is not proven as a way to benefit mental health.

Many therapists, mental health professionals, and providers (including myself and LCAT) have taken to social media to provide free resources to clients and the community. The purpose of social media therapy is to allow further connection to those who may not have been given the opportunity to engage in therapy sessions. 

Therefore, social media therapy can be INCREDIBLY useful. 

However, more often than not, when individuals share what they have learned on Tik Tok, Instagram, or Facebook, it is skewed. All social media messaging has bias – specifically the bias of the mind of the reader. 

When a client has a specific person that they have followed, and shared something meaningful, this is great. 

However, there are a few things to be skeptical about: 

  • The qualifications of the person saying it. What is their background, who is sponsoring them (if anyone), and what ethical board are they a part of (if any)?
  • The accuracy of the information taken and reframed into what you desire and the algorithms you engage with. 
  • Self-diagnosing after hearing about a disorder on a social media platform does not make that person qualified to diagnose. 

Exploring this information with your licensed therapist is not a problem.

However, taking what you see on social media at 100% face value, without exploring or understanding the context of the information, or knowing the credentials of the person sharing it perpetuates misinformation. 

What this means is that your social media therapy may be the next source of “fake news.” 

What Social Media are You Following? 

Step one is figure out who you are following. 

  • Are the people you are following “helpful” or “harmful”?
  • What is the purpose of following their page?  
  • Entertainment? Information? Memes? Growth?

If the person is “helpful” and provides one or more of the above mentioned aspects, keep following them.

Understand the value of the social media accounts you follow. 

If you are following someone for information surrounding news, health, or personal growth, etc. It is imperative that you look into their mission, certifications, qualifications, and experiences. 

If you are following them because their take on things is an entertaining perspective, it is okay, yet this is not therapy. Realize if someone is qualified to diagnose or offer treatment suggestions, because many people are not. 

You may be surprised by this; however, not everyone on Tik Tok knows what they are talking about! 

Know and understand who you are following! 

Informed consent and understanding is important for making decisions on how to use information.

Check in with Your Therapist or Coach

If individuals do not know how to take this information in, it may be helpful to contact a psychotherapist and ask how to find accurate information. 

There are many positive aspects to engaging with social media and learning about various topics. As some say, knowledge is power! 

However, knowledge without context leads to projection. It doesn’t actually lead to healing. 

Do not take anything on social media as definitive. They are speaking about a small example in limited characters and time. Work with a therapist and coach to determine if the information is relevant to your life and your goals. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do