Couples Counseling Near Me

Couples Counseling Near Me

Couples Counseling Near Me

 

Have you looked online recently for “couples counseling near me”? Whether you’ve recently moved or are completely new to therapy, finding the right counselor to work with you and your partner is so important.

The right therapist is like a bridge between the couple you are now and the one you want so badly to be. They can guide you through the fog of learned behaviors, past trauma, and communication roadblocks into a healthier and fuller relationship.

The bottom line is, don’t stop your search for a therapist until you know you’ve found the right one. If you hold back or enter into couples counseling being guarded, then it’s going to impede your progress.

Knowing exactly what you want from counseling isn’t absolutely necessary at first. Most couples turn to therapy when they start to fight more, the sex isn’t great, or your goals aren’t aligned.  

Eventually, you’ll want to focus on things that make the most difference and areas where your therapist can help you most effectively.

Couples Counseling Near Me

 

Improving Communication in Your Relationship

Managing communication in your relationship is one of the most important aspects of building a good foundation. That means monitoring and improving your communication patterns, as well as adjusting to how your partner communicates.

Many couples who say they aren’t communicating well are simply talking past each other and dealing with residual resentment that prevents you from being vulnerable.

When you resent your partner on some level, getting candid feedback can be a challenge. When resentment levels are high, then even things like receiving compliments on your physical appearance or professional accomplishments becomes hard.

You think your partner is being sarcastic or question their motives when they make overtures. You wonder, whether secretly or aloud, whether they mean it or if they’re trying to manipulate you.

Those things may be true, but before you go to bed with those convictions, you should do some self-inventory alone or with the help of a therapist. A quick online search for “couples counseling near me” can get you started in the right direction.

People I meet with are often surprised at how deeply they’ve fallen into poor communication habits. Learning to speak with the right emotions and message is a skill that takes practice. It doesn’t come equally for everyone.

In my experience, it’s important to arm ourselves with strategies that we can use in real-time when dealing with conflict or confusion. We also need to learn how to reaffirm and uplift our partners, especially if words of affirmation is one of their love languages.

Couples Counseling Near Me

Couples Counseling for Intimacy

Along with finances, sex is one of the biggest reasons that drive couples apart. It underscores how important deep intimacy, meaningful touch, and the occasional wild sexcapade are to our emotional and physical health.

If you find yourself searching for couples counseling near me because you’re having trouble in your sex life, here are some tips that can help your search.

First, you want to find a certified sex therapist with experience dealing with similar situations. Of course, the kind of experience you’ll need depends a great deal on where you are personally.

Some people going to couples counseling to deal with intimacy issues are confronting difficult pasts that inhibit sexual expression. Others are trying to find new ways to push the boundaries of their sexuality with things like roleplaying, BDSM, anal sex, and other types of kink.

I can’t stress enough how vital it is to work with someone who knows how to use pleasure in healing relationships between partners. I work with people to set and achieve sexual goals, something many people haven’t done in their lives even though everyone should!

The right therapist will work with you to improve the sexual dynamics in your relationship, and also dig deep into any issues like shame or problems with body image that are holding you back. We can open up new parts of your sexual experience by exploring power dynamics, toys, and things like tantric breathing to inject excitement into a sex life that’s become a bit bland.

 

Couples Counseling Near Me and How to Choose

You should know that a good therapist will be feeling you out as much as you are. This alignment starts from the first phone call and emails into the early sessions. We want to see your progress, and after some time meeting and talking with couples, we have a good idea of whether we’ll be able to see change.

A therapist and the couples they counsel need to be on the same page. For example, I take a flexible, open approach that often focuses on sex-positivity to help you improve your sex life and your connection with your partner. I communicate directly and sometimes combine therapy with tantric techniques for deeper immersion into learning.

With over 15,000 client hours, I know that approach doesn’t work for everyone. It’s part of my job to recognize early on if there is enough progress to indicate future success.

My passion is helping use physiology to improve sexual satisfaction in an environment free from judgment. If you’re dealing with desire discrepancy with your partner, or you’re eager to experiment with bondage or an open relationship, I have sexual strategies that can help you manage change.

Wherever you’re at in your relationship, there is always hope. I see people in dire situations where it seems like all is lost and therapy is their last gasp at saving a marriage. I also meet with people all the time to talk about our bodies and how we can use sex to improve our quality of life.

Every couple who enters therapy is different. There may be slight similarities in the motivation for seeking counseling. The strategies and techniques you will use to better yourself and your relationship will be unique.

Learn about how you can become a better partner by finding a counselor who speaks to your body and mind. Break the patterns you find yourself stuck in and carve a new path for the future.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.


Telehealth Therapy

Is Telehealth Therapy Right For You?

Is Telehealth Therapy Right For You?

 

What Is Telehealth Therapy?

Telehealth therapy is kind of an umbrella term that encompasses any remote therapy that uses telecommunications. 

In other words, telehealth therapy means you and your therapist are having sessions via confidential Skype, Zoom, telephone, FaceTime, app services or even via text.

Telehealth therapy has originally been used to provide behavioral therapy for people who live in more remote areas without access to a therapist locally.

Obviously during the COVID19 pandemic telehealth has become a lifeline for many people dealing with mental health issues. Since mental health issues are only bound to increase given the amount of fear, uncertainty and hardships that have accompanied this difficult time, telehealth therapy will only become more prevalent and essential moving forward.

 

How Do I Access Telehealth Therapy?

If you are already working with a therapist, call their office and see what telehealth options they have implemented for their patients. Hopefully, they have already reached out to you about this!

Telehealth Therapy

Depending on your own telecommunication set up, different options may be right for you.

  • Text therapy on your cell phone
  • Online chat
  • Therapy via phone call (landline or cellular)
  • Video conference apps like Zoom, Skype, FaceTime. The privacy and security of these apps vary, so choose one that you are comfortable with. These can be used on your laptop, smartphone or home computer.

There has also been a boom in telehealth therapy services via apps, such as BetterHelp and Talkspace, which will match you with a licensed professional therapist. This is an option if you don’t know where to start or are on a tight budget and need counseling, though the therapists are unable to make any official diagnoses, fulfill court orders or prescribe medications.

 

Is Telehealth Therapy Covered By Insurance?

This will of course depend on your individual insurance provider, so it is worth checking out. Many insurance companies have waived their co-pay or changed their remote telehealth therapy policies temporarily to accommodate COVID19 restrictions.

If you are covered under Medicare, many of the restrictions on your use of telehealth therapy services have been suspended for the duration of the public health emergency.

The use of phones and apps has previously been restricted under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), so now you can not only have sessions over the phone or internet with your therapist, you can actually select a therapist from any distance, including out of state. Therapy has never been more accessible than now, so hopefully this will continue beyond the pandemic!

 

Who Can Benefit From Telehealth Therapy?

Before the pandemic, telehealth therapy was primarily intended for use in rural areas with little access to mental healthcare professionals. Now, telehealth therapy can help anyone with a phone or internet connection.

Telehealth therapy may be right for you if:

  • You already have an established therapist and want to continue your treatment plan/routine
  • You are experiencing increased anxiety, depression or any relapses of other mental health conditions brought about by the pandemic
  • You are grieving the loss of a loved one, job or major plans such as a cancelled wedding.
  • You are experiencing relationship issues due to stress, job loss, or simply being stuck at home together all day
  • You are having trouble establishing a healthy routine
  • You are struggling with many aspects of working at home, whether this be productivity, loneliness, stress or feeling like it is difficult to turn off “work mode” when the workday is over
  • You have fear and anxiety around getting sick or are unable to leave your home to go for a walk or safely run errands
  • The political climate is giving you fear, anxiety, depression or exhaustion, especially as a person who is racialized
  • You have stress, anxiety and/or depression due to health concerns related to a disability or chronic illness that is affected by COVID19 restrictions/lack of accessibility
  • Your children being home all the time is overwhelming. Your children can also access telehealth therapy if they are struggling to adjust to new routines, can’t sleep, feel scared, miss their friends or are struggling with homeschooling. Therapy can truly be for the entire family.

This is not an exhaustive list, so please know that if you are feeling unable to cope in any way about anything, there is a therapist out there who can help you and they are more accessible than ever.

Telehealth Therapy

What Are The Disadvantages of Telehealth Therapy?

At its core, telehealth therapy depends on certain privileges: a phone, an internet connection, and the means to pay for services whether out of pocket or through insurance.

Accessibility to mental health care is an ongoing issue, and while the pandemic has made it more accessible and affordable, there is still a long way to go for everyone to get the support they need.

Telehealth therapy can be adapted for deaf and blind, but often requires some extra settings (and potential extra costs) to make it accessible.

Telehealth therapy can be less than ideal if patients require a more tactile experience, which can be the case for various reasons.

 

Are There Alternatives To Telehealth Therapy During COVID19?

As some restrictions are lifted, you may find that certain therapists are allowed to open their offices back up. This is dependent on state and local laws, as well as their own level of comfort.

It is important to realize that every person, including your therapist, will have different levels of anxiety and caution when re-opening, and it may not align with your own needs. If you feel really safe and want life to be as normal as possible, you may find it frustrating if your therapist has chosen to keep their office closed and only provide telehealth therapy.

This is their prerogative, and if you truly need in person sessions you should discuss getting a referral to another therapist that is open to in-person appointments, or discuss what your therapist’s reopening plans are for the near future. Telehealth therapy can be as effective as “regular” behavioral therapy, so keep an open mind if possible!

On the other hand, if your therapist has decided they no longer are providing telehealth therapy, it is worth discussing what measures they have in place to ensure your safety and theirs. Maintaining a six foot distance, mutual masking, having hand sanitizer available and frequent cleaning are all preventative measures that can be taken to ensure your safety. If they are unable to accommodate your needs, see if they can recommend a colleague who is still conducting telehealth therapy.

As the pandemic wears on, it is important to practice self care, and that includes therapy! 

It is hard to say how long restrictions will be in place or how long telehealth therapy will be unrestricted, though hopefully the accessibility and convenience of telehealth therapy will prove to be worth keeping beyond this crisis. 

At LCAT our certified therapists are all available to help you and your loved ones, so we encourage you to give our telehealth therapy options a try, whether you prefer video, phone or even text. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Feeling Lost - Hello, My Name is Uncertainty

Feeling Lost - Hello, My Name is Uncertainty

Feeling Lost?

Over the last several years, and especially the last several months, there has been a lot of uncertainty for many of the clients I work with. What I have noticed is that with this level of uncertainty, people feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed. People are expressing more and more stress at the current state of our world between the civil rights/social justice call to action and the pandemic.

People are reporting feeling “trapped,” “lost,” “overwhelmed,” and even paranoid. All these feelings, I liken to the level of uncertainty in our world right now. Many of my clients symptoms of trauma are flaring up and I am noticing a lot of regression in people. As a therapist, all of these things make A LOT of sense to me given looking at the greater factors at play in our world and the systemic impact this has throughout our world, our communities, our families, and ourselves.

For many clients who have been marginalized or oppressed - the uncertainty is bringing a resurgence in the feelings of “learned helplessness.” When we unpack this dynamic, it is a feeling of extreme difficulty and people often feel stuck because they have so many barriers to access change. This concept is used in a variety of ways, but to me it makes most sense as we are looking at it through the eyes of those who have been oppressed by the way our world works. For many clients in this category, I am noticing that any movements they have felt at a personal or community level have been removed, recreating the intense feelings of uncertainty and learned helplessness.

 

What is Uncertainty? Why do we need it?lost and confused

Uncertainty can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma. This often results in people engaging in strategies that have been unhelpful in the past when they have had these feelings of loss or uncertainty. These strategies to get people’s needs met that are no longer adaptive can look like overcontrolling, secrecy, impulse spending, explosive emotions, avoidance, isolation, chasing or pursuing people, eating disorders, self destructive/injurious behavior, addiction, affairs, and numbing. 

People who experience symptoms anxiety, depression, and trauma often feel needs for the direct opposite of uncertainty - certainty. Certainty allows people struggling with these disorders to feel more control and predictability. When uncertainty increases, it often results in feelings of chaos and disorder around people - this unpredictability results in stress. 

When working with my clients, I work hard to support them in creating ways to balance their need for certainty and uncertainty. Here are some ways to help create more certainty and uncertainty in your life.

 

Ways to Create Certainty

Certainty is the need for structure, predictability, and organization. Often people use inappropriate attempts to control their surroundings as a strategy to access certainty. The problem with this is that we cannot control anything other than ourselves, our reactions, and our choices. When we work to do that for others we create a false sense of security and conflict in our relationships.

Here are some strategies that you might find useful to create certainty: 

  • Creating hobbies
  • Predictable routines (waking, bedtime, etc)
  • Scheduling connection points with friends, family, or partners
  • Journaling
  • Organizing your space
  • Organizing your time 
  • Engaging in self-care
  • Planning a meal
  • Healthy connections with people you trust and are rejuvenating for you
  • Exercise
  • Watching movies or shows with people in your life, video calls, intentional shared time 
  • Join cause that you believe

 

Ways to Create Uncertainty

Often times we associate uncertainty with things “that are not good.” Uncertainty is the need for creativity, adventure, spontaneity, and chaos. Often times people can be stuck in uncertainty if they are unable to be reliable or may engage in addictive behaviors and/or relationship patterns to meet this need. With too much uncertainty people do not have any structure, predictability, and often live in chaos.

Here are some strategies that may be useful in meeting this need healthfully: 

  • Creativity or artistic endeavors
  • Exploring a new area of where you live or somewhere outdoors
  • Unplanned trips or adventures
  • Sex
  • Meeting new people (consensually)
  • Role play
  • Learning a new skill
  • Pushing your comfort zone
  • Work on your own healing
  • An activity that increases adrenaline (in a safe way)
  • Engage in a debate

 

Although these suggestions are helpful in a microlevel, it may allow to create some self-efficacy and mastery. This will not cure the feelings of learned helplessness or the uncertainty in the world, but these suggestions may offer some ability to have some personal empowerment. Steps towards personal empowerment can help each of us take steps towards change and hopefully if all of us take steps this change can make the changes that are NECESSARY at the macro level. As Margret Mead said “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”

If you are looking for extra support during these tough times, we offer tele-therapy sessions here at LCAT and are happy to help!

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Covid-19

Therapy in the Age of Covid-19

Therapy in the Age of Covid-19

 

Here at Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC (LCAT) we have practiced telemedicine to support emotional and relational healing . LCAT has utilized this non-traditional technique before the pandemic and were able to make the transition to predominately telemedicine seamlessly. 

Telemedicine (teletherapy or telehealth) is virtual therapy most commonly phone or video sessions (as this is what is currently covered by most insurances… especially during COVID). Texting therapy is another modality used but not covered in most insurance plans. 

 

Teletherapy in COVID-19

Covid has reshaped the world. There is a lot of suffering, a lot of fear, a lot of loss, and a lot of frustration. In addition to the challenging emotions in all of this, there have been changes in the way the healthcare field that have allowed for varying accessibility to support the safety and health of patients and their practitioners.

Many of my clients have had worries about telemedicine prior to COVID, but during this pandemic have begun utilizing and have found it to be better than they expected. Some cite it’s convenience while others identify it not “feeling much different.” 

As a therapist, I have enjoyed being able to be in people’s environments with them and utilize technology to intervene differently than I could in the past. In my opinion in some cases, it has made a cognitive shift to make those connections within their homes. In my practice, I have been able to utilize telemedicine to share screens, have clients sit in different rooms on different devices, show me their environments to come up with reasonable solutions, utilize EMDR, completing tasks together rather than making plans to do them, and workbooks. Clients have in many cases reported enjoying this more and finding it more effective. 

The ability to utilize these different interventions in technology have allowed for further connections between couples, families, and individuals. Challenging couples and families to have difficult conversations and face differing realities - allowing for an opportunity for relationships to find new strategies to meet the needs. Telehealth has allowed for closer connections to be fostered in all of the difficulty that is in our world right now. 

Sometimes that has allowed relationships to also see what is not possible and making conscious and intentional decisions to end the relationship (“conscious uncoupling”). This conscious decision allows for relationships to work amicably at collaborating to end a relationship. Telemedicine allows for these opportunities to work through this with more emotional safety and coaching around communication. 

 

Come to LCAT

Although telemedicine is not for everyone it can provide new opportunities for emotional and relational healing. Video, text, and phone therapy can be just what people may need if they are feeling stuck and have not found traditional models helpful. 

At LCAT each of our staff has been doing these modalities from the start. If you are interested in working on emotional healing through telehealth we are here for you, we take some insurances and offer sliding scales as well. Please check insurance plans to see what is covered under your plan. 

We are continuing to offer telehealth services to support the safety of our patients, staff, and community. Please contact us for more information!

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


web therapy

Do you know what Web Therapy is?

Do you know what Web Therapy is?

 

Let’s talk about web therapy and how you can use it to navigate issues alone or with a partner.

The Coronavirus pandemic and the self-imposed quarantine that all of us are experiencing are certainly some of the most interesting moments in my over ten years of working with individuals and couples.

It’s not exaggerating to say that for many people this is a traumatic event. Life has been turned upside down. You may have lost your job, known a loved one who got sick, or even been personally impacted by the disease. If you’re lucky enough to be spared direct impact, the effects of quarantine and what we see on the news all day are still serious.

If anything, Coronavirus is giving us a lightning round of insight into how we all move through grief into acceptance. It’s a turbulent time. Working with a therapist can help you understand why you are feeling the way you are and give you tactics to move through grief and get to acceptance.

That’s true whether you’re dealing with the effects of losing a job or the stress of a change in your home environment where you’re home all day around the people you love.

I’ve been developing web therapy along with a text therapy practice to help individuals and couples identify and work through issues in real-time. I offer strategies and tips at the moment to help you push to another level even when you can’t meet in person. Here’s how my clients are using web therapy to get where they want to be.

 

How Individuals Use Web Therapy to Overcome Obstacles

I remember when news of Coronavirus first started to hit. Back then, which was not too long ago, it was easy to brush it off and think, “That’s far away”, or “It seems so removed from my life”. In a matter of weeks, we’ve all come face to face with the pandemic.

What did that mean for all of my clients? What happened to the people I meet regularly who were seeing real progress? Suddenly, meeting in person was no longer feasible. Luckily, I’d been working for years on web therapy strategies to manage the transition.

web therapy

Working with clients over the web, we almost went through a crash course on how to manage the stages of grief. Many of them initially felt anger at the disruption in their lives. Emergencies can bring out the worst in people, and unfortunately, negative behaviors and opinions were broadcast everywhere. It was easy to get caught up.

Each client is still somewhere along the anger, bargaining, fear, and depression. It comes and it goes as we work to adjust to our new realities. With web therapy, we were able to maintain a regular communication to deal with the ups and downs.

What’s great about it is that you’re able to sign up for a week or a month, however long you think it serves a purpose or helps you deal with the issues you’re struggling with.

 

The Couples Counseling Cure

Web therapy has helped many of the couples I meet with in person. I’ve found that younger people often prefer using web and text, and it is even surprising how older couples have taken to meeting online because they can carve out space in a room inside the house even with the whole family home.

I’ve streamlined my strategies for couples into online and text therapy modules. We do something I call Triangulation Within the Couple, where we maintain a group chat and respond in real-time to each other’s concerns and celebrate our successes together when we meet online!

web therapy

That’s been incredibly effective during the Coronavirus pandemic because I’m seeing many couples struggle with staying home, balancing things like kids and chores while they experience anxiety over careers and the general outlook.

Web therapy provides an outlet for both partners to express concerns as they come up, and I provide tips on how to push through. In essence, I’m giving you a template that you’ll have on hand to refer back to and use when you need it. It’s been a lifesaver as couples still can work with a clinician from their homes.

I was using web therapy long before we all started living in quarantine and have seen its benefits for both helping couples overcome challenges and grow closer, and for others facilitate a conscious uncoupling to achieve the life they want. It’s versatile and lends you critical support.

 

Using Web Therapy to Stay Connected

As a therapist, the connection between our health and our community is evident. What’s happening around us affects our mental, emotional, and even physical health. The speed at which the Coronavirus disrupted our lives has helped many of my clients see it up close.

How can you stay healthy and balanced when you’re hearing about the Apocalypse, closed borders, huge job losses, and other horrible news?

Web therapy delivers an outlet whereby you can express anger, frustration, depression, and other emotions, even when you’re stuck in quarantine. Remember, these emotions are legitimate. It’s ok to be angry or depressed about what’s happening.

Connection is what all of us need in times of stress when we’re dealing with trauma and uncertainty. Using online solutions allows me, as a therapist, to keep ties with you as you strive to create positivity in new circumstances.

It’s still possible to form strong bonds with your therapist and see progress using your phone and meeting online. A 2013 peer-reviewed study found that, over the course of a six-week text therapy trial, “results indicated that the impact of exchanges and client–therapist alliance in text therapy was similar to, but in some respects more positive than, previous evaluations of face-to-face therapy.” That’s great news!

 

Working Toward Acceptance

If we look hard enough, we can find incredible examples of acceptance and resilience all around us. Communities are doing what they can to support businesses, healthcare workers, and neighbors. Stress has made many families come together and hopefully, we’re on the phone more often with friends and distant family.

What’s amazing about working through the stages of grief is that, eventually, we come to acceptance, where we can come together and create something new. The speed at which we’re dealing with Coronavirus has certainly been a shock. As we move into acceptance, I think there are going to be some really great outcomes.

If you’re missing regular meetings with a therapist or find yourself stuck in a stage of grief, web therapy could be the solution. Don’t struggle with anxiety, fear, anger, or a sense of hopelessness alone. Discover tools to help overcome negativity and work on your relationships with the help of an expert. You’ll see an immediate impact on the way you communicate with yourself and others.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Trauma Counseling

Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

Trauma Counseling to Recover from People Pleasing

 

Often in trauma counseling and emotional healing, we focus on trauma responses that occur and perpetuate throughout someone’s life. 

The three most widely acknowledged trauma responses are: fight, flight, or freeze. 

Often these responses are unconscious and automatic, and if you are interested in your own traumatic response cycle, continue to read below! 

 

Trauma Responses

Traumatic responses caused by triggers are often seen in trauma counseling. 

The fight response is when someone is activated or “triggered” and responds aggressively or in a dominating way.  Fight can look like literally getting into fight, speaking aggressively, or even be a pursuer dynamic.

Flight is where someone leaves or “runs away.” This can look like someone emotionally removing themselves, literally removing themself from the circumstance, or avoiding any of the things that remind them of said trauma.

Freeze is when someone’s body and physiological responses “shut down.” This can look like someone not being able to move, someone not being responsive, or someone completely dissociating.

These trauma responses are most noted and discussed due to the research around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which is historically done around large scale traumas). These responses are clear and valid responses and after often addressed in trauma counseling and therapy.

As we learn more about trauma and the impact it can have, it has become more clear that “fawning” or “placating” is another trauma response. 

This is the response of “people pleasing” or placating others to avoid conflict or further harm/trauma to appease the abuser. 

This looks like a child trying to appease a parent to avoid further harm or a partner agreeing to something that they wouldn’t otherwise agree to if not for the fear of the others. 

This also can look like someone constantly looking to others for approval. 

Each of these trauma responses is an automatic response your brain has. 

These responses are out of one’s control often and out of their own awareness. 

Through trauma counseling or therapy and emotional healing these can be addressed to find various new strategies or coping mechanisms to manage when these responses happen after the trauma.

Trauma Counseling

 

Fawning and Recovery

In my professional experience, I have seen many clients who have struggled with fawning. 

These individuals require frequent validation, often avoid conflict, and often work to please/appease others around them to their own detriment. 

Like all trauma responses, this is an automatic process which can then create subconscious patterns in people’s lives where people continue this response into a strategy in their relationships. 

This strategy relates to clients engaging in this behavior across contexts and relationships. Often I work with couples where there is a level of codependency in the relationship where one or both partners engage in this dynamic, creating a difficult dynamic within the relationship. 

Whether individual or within a relationship, creating recovery around people pleasing is hard because of its origins. 

In my professional experience, it requires revisiting the origins of this pattern and how this strategy met the needs you had at the time. 

Being able to recognize that this strategy is no longer useful is necessary to work with your therapist to find new strategies to get your needs met. 

Another important piece of this is to recognize ways to feel safe. 

Recognizing that people who experience trauma do not feel safe, and remind yourself that finding safety is important. Safety can be emotional, physical, relational, and environmental. 

Depending on your experience, finding safety can be a necessity. 

There are so many things that can be useful to “people pleaser’s” in their recovery that the list can go on and on. 

The best advice I can give as a therapist is to find a therapist who you can trust and work through this with. 

That includes if you are in a relationship because whether you recognize it or not, your relationship(s) have been impacted by these experiences. 

Look for someone who specializes in trauma therapy, trauma work, or trauma counseling, these are the first steps towards emotional healing. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out LCAT’s Owner’s YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


couple talking

Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

Couple Talking – The Quarantine Communication Crash Course

 

It is perfectly understandable that couple talking techniques would change, because when we find ourselves in new situations, we need to come up with new ways of coping and flourishing. 

I’ve noticed in meeting with clients that some couples are finding challenges communicating effectively, and as couples spend more time together than ever, couple talking changes! You can’t expect the same results from old ways of thinking and communicating! 

Just spend a moment considering how much your work routines have changed. 

We’re all on some sort of video conferencing software, balancing parenting or caretaking, health and exercise, financial stresses, and other tasks within the boundaries of our home. 

The coronavirus pandemic has forced all of us to make fast decisions about what’s vital and what’s not. What doesn’t work fails immediately, and effective results stick.

The same goes for couple talking techniques. 

Quarantining all day has been a crash course for many of my clients on verbal and non-verbal communication with their spouse or partner. 

The more you utilize effective strategies and techniques, the faster you’ll adapt to this new reality.

Let’s look on the bright side and imagine how much better we’ll know and communicate with our partners as things transition back to “normal” life. 

You can use your time now as a petri dish to experiment with some of these expert couple talking strategies.

couple talking

Dr. Gottman on Intimate Conversation

Dr. Gottman has been helping couples build bonds and communicate effectively for decades. One of his main strategies for building trust in a relationship is related to open communication free from any hint of defensiveness.

Your partner could be hiding something from you or masking destructive behaviors because they fear your reaction. It could also be one of the reasons they react strongly to anything that resembles criticism. 

For example, that sort of thing happens a lot when a spouse attempts to talk to their partner about what they see is a pornography problem. They move to strike back quickly to discourage any more questioning.

For many of us, our first inclination when our partner has a problem or talks about something challenging is to offer solutions. We want to immediately problem-solve their way out of it. We tell ourselves that’s how we’re projecting that we care about them.

Instead, though, Gottman says that before advice must come understanding

Intimate communication must include couples talking  that’s free from judgment.

One of the best ways to do this is by asking your partner open-ended follow-up questions. These invite them to speak more freely and get out whatever feelings they’ve got pent up inside. The next time your partner expresses frustration, anger, or even joy, ask them to talk more about how they feel and why. You’re on your way to build a more free and open communication platform.

 

Find Healing with Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago relationship therapy focuses on building intimate connections through healing. Fear of being truly known is one of the main obstacles my clients face. Most of us naturally maintain some semblance of a distance between our true selves and those around us. It may not be as simple as we don’t trust them. Often, we feel uncomfortable thinking or discussing our past or trauma we still live with.

Sharing intimate feelings, both fears and aspirations will help you as a couple build a love that’s more connected and intimate. Easier said than done, however. To feel comfortable opening or, you and your partner have to feel safe in your relationship.

Worries, concerns, doubts, and other emotions have to be communicated in a safe environment without risk of retribution.

The best couple talking happens in safe conversations. You can discover how to create safe conversations by talking to your partner about what makes them feel unsafe. Eliminate any conditions that could trigger anxiety as you speak. Sit closely to stay physically connected. Maintain eye contact. Offer validation often as your partner shares difficult emotions.

couple talking

Couple Talk with F-A-S-T

As a therapist, I help people understand how their emotions can hijack conversations. We all must understand how our messages are conveyed, especially to our intimate partners who we care deeply about.

In many couples, there’s often one partner who feels it’s appropriate to make their feelings subordinate to their partner’s to “make things work”. They are quick to apologize to try and smooth things over and withhold their true feelings because they don’t want to rock the boat.

What these people don’t realize is that they’re setting themselves up for long-term failure. That negatively impacts their partner and also their self-worth. If you find yourself sacrificing too much for the good of the relationship, you need to reexamine things.

For example, sometimes clients struggle with different sexual desires in their relationship. The higher-desire partner can feel frustrated and that they’re giving up something incredibly important because their partner doesn’t want to have sex as much as they do. Either that or they’re into kink or want to try some roleplaying.

Telling yourself that that’s just the way things are can only last so long. Eventually, the resentment will be so strong it will lead to collapse, infidelity, or some other disruption.

The point of learning how to speak about difficult topics is to find a way to meet in the middle for a solution that’s acceptable to both parties.

I recommend the FAST method of communication as a way to stay grounded when communicating with your spouse or partner. FAST stands for:

Fairness – Remember to be fair to yourself and your partner. Avoid criticism and judgment.

Apologies – Reserve apologies for when they’re required. Don’t apologize for feeling a certain way or being who you are. Apologize when you’ve done something wrong.

Stick to Your Values – There’s a compromise, and then there’s self-sacrifice. Too much sacrifice will make you feel resentful. Don’t cheat on your values to make something work or to make someone feel better.

Truth – Don’t exaggerate and don’t lie. Stay grounded and honest in your communication. Your partner will listen to what you have to say and know you are being sincere.

FAST is just one communication technique I recommend for couple talk. Several other methods can help you remember effective communication skills when conflict arises or it’s time to give your partner validation and praise.

I think we forget too often that we need effective communication when things are good just as much as when they are bad. How you speak to your partner when things are positive is like filling the well that you can draw on when stress is high and you’re having disagreements.

If there’s anything everyone needs right now during this troubling time it’s more praise and validation. These are simple things you can do to build your partner up and create stronger bonds in your intimate relationship.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


couples therapy video option

Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

Uncovering Couples Therapy Video Options

 

Have you tried couples therapy video options yet due to the pandemic? 

If you have tried a couples therapy video option, make sure you let us know your experience. 

When was the last time you had someone trained to listen, to reflect, and to guide you through communication issues?

Opening up and working through problems is a freeing process that, unfortunately, too few couples know.

The initial meeting with a therapist is the hardest part. 

Once you make an appointment, and then begin to fill out the intake paperwork, you start a journey of exploration and healing that often is not possible alone. 

Some people, for several reasons, are hesitant to meet and talk with therapists.

Therapists are responding to client concerns and increasing their outreach by making therapy video sessions available to everyone who is not at risk of harming themselves or others.  

Now, practices around the country, and the world, are performing couples therapy video sessions as the norm. 

They’ll meet with you in the privacy of your home.

There’s a lot to consider when you’re looking for a therapist or thinking about starting sessions. Video conference capability is just one more piece of the puzzle. 

Here we discuss some of the main benefits of couples therapy video sessions and why they may work for you: 

  • Convenient and simple
  • Flexible payments
  • Sometimes covered by insurance
  • Who doesn’t want to improve their love?
  • Growing leaps and bounds in weeks

 

After 4 weeks, one client reported:

“I wish I didn’t wait to start therapy so late! I'm not going to lie, I wouldn't have put off therapy for so long if I had realized all the discoveries along the way. Not just myself but also a different window into my partner’s inner world. I've very much so appreciated the way that the therapeutic relationship has been built. It was essentially everything I thought it wouldn't be and I feel like I've been making leaps and bounds in my own inner world and starting to show to the rest of the world.”

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


What is Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

What is Narcissism?

 

“What is narcissism” seems to be a buzzword lately around Life Coaching and Therapy and on the internet. 

Having and or knowing someone who is a narcissist is complicated, confusing, and at times overwhelming. 

Within my clinical practice, I work with those who have been impacted by narcissists or those who identify as narcissists. 

Today, I will try to answer the question “what is narcissism” and bring some clarity. 

According to GoodTherapy (2019), narcissism is “excessive self-involvement that causes a person to ignore the needs of others.” 

Even though we may behave in a self-involved manner, when we are doing it chronically and at the expense of others without accountability, that is when it becomes problematic. 

 

GoodTherapy (2019) states that clear indicators of narcissism are: 

  • incredibly self-focused
  • difficulty empathizing with others
  • Entitlement
  • attention seeking behavior
  • a focus on the narrative of others, need for admiration or affirmations
  • difficulty in relationships
  • inability to take responsibility for their actions or behavior
  • unable to tolerate criticism, and 
  • seeking approval from others (GoodTherapy, 2019). 

 

When asking “what is narcissism,” I think it is important to consider there is a spectrum of this ranging from those who have narcissistic tendencies and someone who has an extreme form of narcissism that is a “personality disorder.” 

To some degree, we all have parts of us that demonstrate self-serving behaviors, yet that does not mean you are engaging in narcissistic behavior or abuse. 

 

Narcissism: A Family Pattern

Often people who are narcissists are raised in a narcissistic environment. 

Their family of origin or people integral in their lives are also narcissistic. 

It may appear to be an intergenerational pattern - so that if you look at the person who is acting like a  narcissist, you will find their close family members demonstrating these same qualities. 

People raised by narcissistic caregivers often struggle with questioning their own reality and emotions. 

This constant invalidation creates significant struggles for them as a child and eventual adult as they grow up to have relationships within the community. 

Being raised in an environment that is unpredictable where caregivers may show public affection and are distant creates issues in attachment. 

This is particularly challenging for children as they learn attachment (which sets the road map for their relationships moving forward) with their caregivers. 

Focusing on individual needs rather than that of the family or the child creates a system of modeling this behavior, elevating the “narcissistic part” over the “collaborative” or “empathetic” part(s). 

Thus creating another generation that may struggle with narcissism. 

This is not to say “it's my parents’ fault” or to blame someone else (that can be a narcissistic trait). 

The point is to recognize that this pattern probably began generations ago. 

Often these behaviors are strategies to get a need met or survive trauma. 

Behaviors are passed down from generation to generation until someone decides to change them. 

As a systemic therapist, this makes sense. 

We become and act on what we know. 

If we are not intentionally aware of the processes that we learned, we will repeat them. 

As someone who specializes in trauma, I often see my clients regress into narcissistic tendencies while in “trauma spirals.” 

To be clear, regardless of if you are a narcissist or acting as a narcissist due stress or trauma… it does not justify acting abusively, harmfully, or with disregard to the impact on those around you. 

If you are engaging in narcissistic behavior, you are likely engaging in some abusive patterns. I repeat, if you are engaging in narcissistic patterns of behavior, regardless of the reason, you may be engaging in abusive patterns as well. 

 

Can the Cycle be Broken?

In one word, absolutely. 

Building insight and awareness with the narcissistic part of you is a skill we teach at LCAT.

If we are looking at ourselves as made up of various aspects (see Inner Aspects model by Francesca Gentille), we can acknowledge and see that we all have parts of us that are narcissistic. 

If we are able to look at that part of us, see that part of us, and work with that part of us we are capable of disrupting the pattern. 

Acknowledging that we are engaging in these patterns, being committed to doing things differently, and showing up to do the work allows for growth to happen. 

The cycle cannot and will not be broken if individuals are not able to see their part, take accountability, and be willing to do the work though. 

If your narcissistic part is the part that dominates your person, it may be difficult to do this because that part of you will not want to take responsibility.

Our role would be to help you gently and tenderly acknowledge that you are engaging in destructive, toxic, and or abusive behaviors. 

Then, we would help give you the pieces to put your life back as you see fit. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Best Couples Therapy Near Me

Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

 

When people type these words "best couples therapy near me" into their Google search field, they are often looking for a therapist near their home to help them out. 

Usually, those typing “best couples therapy near me” are typically at the stage in their relationship where things are “broken” and they are wondering what to do about it. 

Online couple counseling

Fairytales of high-school sweethearts who are so loving, yet the thought of touching their partner makes their skin crawl. 

They are often searching for ways to communicate with their partner in a more effective way and to see results in the moment instead of months later. 

Adults often want to know how to stop fighting and how to start communicating more effectively. They also want to have the joy they used to feel in their partnership.

Couples therapy can be emotionally intense. 

There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. 

You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. Sometimes, it is hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. 

Individuals, and couples, come into our office because they realize they aren’t having the type of romance that they imagined, nor are they experiencing the degree of connection that they desire. 

If couples like what they see in the Google snippet or ad that describes our couples therapy practice, Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT), then we encourage you to click on the link and go to the website at www.lifecoachingandtherapy.com

One of the main reasons people may choose to visit the LCAT site is the 5-star reviews our clients post about us on Google. 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

I am so grateful for each and every client that we have had, the ones we currently have, and the ones we have yet to meet. 

When clients get the sexual satisfaction they long for, when couples begin to have ease in communication, and when they begin to learn ways to improve connection in their partnerships, the results just speak for themselves.

What makes a couples therapy practice the best? 

The results! Sense of safety. A long assessment period. Take at least 4 sessions to see if you are a match!

Many individuals, for example, are afraid to be honest with their romantic partner.

A couples therapy practice that is open about their strategies, results, and that gives you the option of having homework is definitely a good sign that it is the best. 

If you believe that going to couples therapy is a sign of failure, think again!  

Couples therapy involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, and sexual connection, which can make it incredibly complex. 

Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what they need or like is essential to having great results as a couples therapy practice!

One of the first things people do when they visit the site is view the Therapy Team bios. You will see that there are a variety of clinicians with different specialities, including couples therapy, anxiety, depression, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. 

Our team is amazing! We work in the Inner Aspects Counseling Model of therapy, and thus far, the results have been compelling.

Sometimes, it is imperative for couples therapy to focus on using fantasy and the illusion of variety for sexual satisfaction in long-term romantic relationships. 

At times, the therapist can act as a creator and innovator to help rediscover interests and help the couple create a relationship framework for a better future. 

For example, one technique couples therapists use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.

Our West Hartford staff consists of 7 licensed therapists – specializing in communication, repairing from betrayal, organizing relationship agreements, and setting you up for more intimate pleasure! 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

That means all of our therapists have gone to graduate school, taken an exam, been licensed by the state, did 1000+ more clinical hours, more supervision, and have spent probably over $250,000 each on their tuition at this point. 

Because we know not everyone can afford our licensed therapists, we are in the process of training coaches to begin to get you results at a lower price. If you are interested in learning more about becoming an Inner Aspects Model Coach, let us know! 

When clients put in effort, so do we. 

It is as if you have your own personal couples therapy team in your pocket, because your clinician is just a text away. 

The great thing about technology is that it is advanced and secure enough to enable LCAT therapists to hold therapy sessions online - either through chats, text, or videos. 

This has a lot of mental health benefits, including being able to help clients during this challenging time of home quarantine.  

 

The Benefits of Online Psychotherapy are:

 

  • Flexible scheduling options and payment
  • Faster results and immediate interventions
  • Sometimes paid for by insurance companies
  • Request to record session to refer back to it if you would like
  • You can have complete discretion in your care 

 

 

It’s funny, because really, now with the online psychotherapy, the search phrase "best couples therapy near me" doesn't even have to include the "near me" any more.”

Telehealth is global now! 

 

Why does LCAT get consistent 5 star reviews from customers on Google?

Best Couples Therapy Near MeWe strive to provide an identity-affirming environment to all.

If you aren’t satisfied, we will send you to someone who can help. 

And, if we believe we can help you, our team sensitively handles your presenting concerns. 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.