Erection Issues

How To Know If You Have Erection Issues: A Checklist!

How To Know If You Have Erection Issues: A Checklist!


If you’re feeling uncertain or embarrassed about erectile dysfunction, this checklist will tell you how to know if you have erection issues. 

After all, sometimes it is just an off night, and sometimes it just isn’t happening- no matter how turned on you are, no matter how sexy the situation. 

It can be frustrating and shameful, and I want you to realize it is actually quite common. 

Some research says that 15 to 30 million people with penises have erection issues in some form at any given time. 

The causes can be physiological or psychological, and many causes of erectile dysfunction can be treated with mindset rephrames, lifestyle changes, and even medication changes. 

The recurrence of erectile dysfunction also increases with age, though people of any age can have it. 

The main thing to remember is that you have no need to be embarrassed, and there is no need to give up on an amazing, fulfilling sex life if you struggle with erection issues!


Who Can Help You With Erection Issues

If you’re wondering how to know if you have erection issues, you may want to chat with your medical doctor. 

As erection issues can be a symptom of more serious conditions, it is worth ruling out potential health risks. 

If the doctor clears you medically, your erection issues may be the result of a past psychological trauma or current pattern of behaviors. 

At that time, the help of a clinical sexologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, or someone who specializes in systemic therapy may be helpful.


Symptoms of Erection Issues

Some of the basic symptoms of erection issues or erectile dysfunction include:

  •   Frequent and persistent trouble getting an erection
  •   Frequent and persistent trouble keeping and maintaining an erection
  •   Low libido

None of these are particularly fun, though it is important to keep track of your erection issues and ask yourself: is this something that happens almost every time I try to have sex, or is it just a blip?

  •   Do you get hard easily while masturbating? Your issues may be intimacy or psychologically based.
  •   Do you struggle to get hard most of the time, even when sexually aroused/horny? You may have physical health problems that need investigating!

As with most things, self-diagnosis can only go so far, so use this checklist to get started on the frequency and context of your erection issues. This will help you discuss in detail with a professional.


Health Concerns That Are Related to Erection Issues

The penis is a vascular organ and requires uninhibited blood flow to create and maintain an erection. 

It makes sense that any health condition that affects how your blood flows or affects your nerves/neurons will impact your erections!

 In fact, many cardiologists refer to erectile dysfunction as the “canary in the coal mine” as a warning symptom of heart issues. 

Our bodies are a holistic system of organs, blood vessels, muscles, nerves and tissues, and health problems rarely affect only one area of the body!

The mind and body are also intrinsically connected, and any problems you may be having psychologically can affect your erections in unexpected ways. 

Some medical issues that can cause chronic or temporary erection issues include:

  • Heart Disease
  • Clogged blood vessels
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Obesity or weight gain
  • Diabetes or Parkinsons
  • Multiple Sclerosis or autoimmune issues 
  • Tobacco use
  • Alcoholism & substance abuse
  • Medications (including yet not limited to prostate cancer/enlarged prostate, antihistamines, cancer treatment, or blood pressure). 
  • Hormone issues such as low testosterone or high cortisol

Some examples of psychological problems that may cause erectile dysfunction include:

  •   Mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD
  •   Stress or disconnection 
  •   Chronic exhaustion
  •   Comparing partnered sex to solo sex (or masturbation)
  •   Using pornography as sex education
  •   Grief or sudden life changes
  •   Relationship stresses
  •   Unrealistic relationship expectations


What Can You Do About Erection Issues?

Seek help:

The most important first step in addressing erection issues is to give yourself a pat on the back for seeking help. You deserve an awesome sex life, and erection issues are not a sign of weakness or make you any less “manly” (if that is how you identify). It can be frustrating, and know that health professionals see this DAILY! Really… ALL. THE. TIME! So don’t be embarrassed! Get help from your family doctor, urologist or therapist to not only treat the issue with possible medications, but the root of the issue in your mind.  


Confide in your partner(s):

If you have a close, personal relationship with a supportive partner, it can be a relief to share your frustrations and fears. This can be especially helpful if they feel they may be at fault. 

If attraction is not the issue for you, reassure them that you find them attractive and sexy. If you suspect your erection issues stem from something psychological or traumatic, perhaps explore sharing those thoughts and feelings with your partner in a safe, guided environment such as with a sex therapist.


Adjust your lifestyle:

your doctor may advise you to adjust your lifestyle. If you’ve gained a lot of new weight around the midsection, your heart may be working harder to circulate blood and you could be at the mercy of hormonal imbalance. 

Going for regular walks, reducing your intake of saturated fats and doing things that relieve stress (laughing, relaxing, reading, edging) can help with circulation, stress and blood pressure. Remember, you are beautiful at any size, and you don’t necessarily need to lose weight to improve your health! Just get that blood pumping and that blood pressure down!


Find support:

Instead of endlessly searching the internet for terrifying diagnosis, find chat rooms and online threads and support groups for those dealing with erection issues. 

It is important to know you aren’t alone, and you may find great references and advice from others. 

Erection issues and impotence in general are stigmatized, and there is no reason this should continue. 

There are so many variables at play with our wonderful, dynamic bodies, and as a generally ableist society, it is widely accepted that penises need to be hard to have amazing sex lives. 

This simply isn’t true, so if you struggle with erection issues that don’t seem to go away, know that you can have a satisfying sex life. Find out more from our webinar or schedule a session. 


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

sex playlist

Sex Playlist

Sex Playlist


Hopefully, as you age, you learn more about your body and what makes it tick including a great sex playlist. 

I meet often with clients who struggled through adolescence and early adulthood trying to understand touch and stimulation. It seems everyone understands the language of music though!

For my clients, thankfully, as their confidence and experience grew, they became more comfortable with intimacy. That helped them overcome roadblocks to amazing orgasms and close connections with themselves and their partner(s).

Whatever stage you’re in along the path of sexual growth is where you’re supposed to be. 

Fighting your body and giving in to negative emotions is only going to make things more difficult. 

Acceptance is the only way to free yourself and your body to become a sexual being!

I try to communicate to clients that incredible sex is possible… and sometimes we need music to help us get there! 

We created a sex playlist on Spotify that you can check out here


Why Use A Sex Playlist?

Getting there is about more than just deciding you’ll “do better” or “try harder”.

A lot of people find success progressing along the stages of sexual expression with the help of music. The right songs can bring out your inner sexual being and trigger the right emotions for the kind of sex you want.

Remember, not all sex is the same. It can be angry, joyous, playful, dominating, submissive, and so much more. Here’s a playlist and how it correlates to the sexual stages to help you learn more about how music can stimulate the kind of sex you’re looking for.


  1. Vital Sex – The Primal Stage – (“Freak Like Me” by NoMBe)

Sex is part of being human. On a genetic level, we all have an innate drive to mate, it’s part of who we are. Sure, there are some a-sexual outliers, and that’s fine if it’s truly who you are. For the most part, humans need to have sex to get the kind of connection and physical expression that makes life real.

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you know what we’re talking about. Sometimes you need to have sex just to have sex. That’s great! The same goes for single people who for whatever reason feel the urge to get off no matter who it’s with or what the circumstances are. Sex is a vital part of being you.

The song’s a great choice for vital sex because it does a great job of blocking everything else out. You’re there to fulfill your own sexual needs and get the job done.


  1. Personality Sexing – Romantic Codependence – (“Orange Sky”– Alexi Murdoch)

Most people seek relationships because being alone can suck. Codependence with the right person can be a wonderful thing. A lot of people use sex as a form of romantic codependence. We use sex to express love and feel another person’s acceptance of us. This helps us feel love for ourselves.

That’s important for people who struggle with self-acceptance. It is, though, important to not rely too much on personality sexing. The wrong person can use codependence against you to manipulate your emotions.

“Orange Sky” is a great song that evokes a strong emotion of love and gratitude. The line, “my salvation lies in your love” is repeated over and over. It can create a special moment between you and your lover.


  1. Pleasure Sexing – Liberated Sex – (“Wicked Games” – The Weeknd)

This is a liberated sexual expression. You’re comfortable with your body and what makes it feel amazing. You crave orgasm and know how to get there. It’s fun, it’s hot, it’s intense, and it’s about you.

Getting to this stage takes a bit of work, and it’s often where most people peak on their sexual journey. 

That’s not a negative thing. 

Many people work their whole lives to get here, to give themselves permission to soak into their body and steer sex in the direction they want it to go.

“Wicked Games” is a sultry, sexy song about lovemaking. It tosses away any notion of romantic sex and dives straight into the heat you’re craving.


  1. Sex as Guide and Guided – Dominance and Submission – (“One Last Night” – Vaults)

If you haven’t come to grips with your sexuality, this step is going to be difficult. It involves either taking charge of someone else’s sexual experience or letting them guide you. You’re either seizing or ceding control. 

That’s hard to do if you don’t yet have control of yourself.

However, guiding and being guided through sex can be an amazing experience. It’s more about your body. Orgasm happens when it happens.

People at this stage learn about the joy of being used, taking turns as the dominant partner, and submitting to sexual pleasure. It can be a ton of fun when toys, some light bondage, and some of the other good stuff get introduced in the bedroom.

“One Last Night” is a song about letting your partner take you where they want you to go. It’s about ceding control over the sexual experience.


  1. Sex as Gods – Transcendent Sex – (“Rise” – Katy Perry)

This stage of sex is fiercely creative. You enter into the sexual experience with full acceptance of yourself and your partner. You take in all of each of your weaknesses and each own your own pleasure. You are equal partners as you transcend the binds of traditional sex.

It’s unrealistic to expect this level of sexual experience all of the time. Remember, sometimes sex will be vital, sometimes it will be liberating. When sex is transcendent, though, it’s an amazing experience you should feel grateful to be part of.

“Rise” by Katy Perry is a great song to make love to. It’s about rising above any negativity to the level you want to be.


  1.     Prayer Sex – Conscious and Sacred Sex – [“(I Just) Died in Your Arms” – Hidden Citizens] 

This stage of sex is rare AND achievable. It enters into the sacred and involves healing.

Before I even knew what sacred sex was, I tripped into this layer.

I have also heard many clients describe moments where they “transform” and become one with their partner(s) and the world.

Erotic Recess, a workshop where women gather to masturbate and overcome hang-ups about physical appearance, genitals, and orgasm is a great example of prayer sex.

It’s helping people reach a level of sexual acceptance they’ve never been able to achieve. It can HEAL the world. When more people are having great sex there will be fewer problems. Relationships will be happier, and most importantly, you’ll be happier with yourself.

“Died in Your Arms” and the epic music can help it permeate through your soul.

This type of sex playlist reminds us that we are who we are for a reason. Our bodies are exactly the way they’re supposed to be, and sex offers a direct route to true expression.




Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

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Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide: Unleash Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life


I’m Amanda Pasciucco (pronounced Pa-shoe-ko), and as a certified sex therapis and founder of a life coaching and therapy practice, I’ve met many couples that felt bored in their relationship and wanted to spice things up, which is why I created The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide.

Not only that, but I have met hundreds of individuals who were not having fun in their dating life or while masturbating.

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide

These are problems I have solved for clients many times, and I can help you too. I have been practicing psychotherapy and couples’ therapy for more than 10 years. I am a natural matchmaker at heart. My passion is helping others find the love of their lives, find THEIR pleasure, and learn how to love themselves.

What I share with clients helps them transform their sex lives and relationships, and now I’m going to share my best techniques, practices and beliefs with you.

So, are you ready?

The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide


It’s Time to Improve Your Intimate Life with The Pleasure Practice Sex Guide!

I am going to teach you a type of pleasure that you will grow to crave.

Even if you are self conscious or feel like you have tried everything and are hopeless.

It’s time to find your sexual confidence! It’s time to find your inner flirt! 

Find out where you may be BLOCKING yourself due to negative belief systems you have about your body or your desires! 

Why do some people have what you want? The difference between you and them may be some knowledge and a little confidence. 

Download the e-guide below and forward it to any friends who can benefit from this valuable advice!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer. Or if you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

The Pleasure Practice Amanda Pasciucco

eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips


eGuides on Relationship and Sex Tips

Amanda Pasciucco, The Sex Healer, and founder of Life Coaching and Therapy, in West Hartford, CT brings you free eguides on relationship and sex tips.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Amanda has more than 15,000 client hours of experience. She has helped hundreds of distant couples reignite their erotic spark after only a few sessions.

Additionally, Amanda is a national educator, speaker and is featured in CNN, Playboy, Men’s Health, Maxim, Daily Mail and more!

She has helped transform the intimate lives of those struggling with infertility, sexless relationships, low-desire, arousal, orgasm, and penetration problems.

Amanda shares her best, most effective techniques, practices and beliefs.

Are you ready to download, read and practice these tips at home?

It is time to improve your intimate life!


Free eguide on Relationship and Sex tips

Click to Download: The Pleasure Practice – A Guide to Unleashing Self Pleasure to Heal Yourself and Transform Your Sex Life


If you know someone that would benefit from free eguides on relationship and sex tips, please share this information with them!


Check out Amanda’s Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer


Learn more about Life Coaching and Therapy. 


Amanda Pasciucco


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