Queerplatonic

Situationships: Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

Situationships: Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

 

Queerplatonic or The Bond of Intimate Friendship?

If your mental health is causing you to struggle in your friendships, this is the how-to guide on responding when your friendships are struggling. 

Most common friendship myths: 

  • Friends do not move to cities, states, and/or countries to be with each other.
  • They do not celebrate anniversaries or special moments within their relationship.
  • Friends do not love as strongly as romantic partners. 

In one way or another, open communication is needed in all friendships, situationships, partnerships, and relationships. 

Queerplatonic is an umbrella term for relationships that differ (or “queer”) away from the platonic; therefore, bending the rules on what is considered acceptable or not. 

No two queerplatonic relationships are exactly alike, yet they break the idea of what is “normal.”

 

Queerplatonic situationships or friendships may (or may not):

  • go on “dates” or celebrate milestones
  • be emergency contacts
  • have shows together that are “theirs”
  • dedicate songs to one another
  • give each other cards
  • be physically affectionate; such as hug or cuddle often
  • kiss each other (on the lips, top of the head, forehead) 
  • live together or share a bed
  • plan vacations together 
  • partner exclusively or non monogamous
  • care about each other’s opinion of romantic partners

Typically, a queerplatonic relatedness values intimacy and loyalty.

If you are having difficulties in one of your queer platonic relatinoships, outline what would make it feel better. 

Discuss what your needs are and what you may be desiring. 

 

Example of Healthy Conversation in Friendships: 

At times, our friends will feel something is happening with us, and they may check in. If a queer platonic friend checks in, and says something like “I feel off. Are you mad?” that will likely cause reactions in the person they are speaking to. 

No matter what the bond, first responses to personal statements may feel uncomfortable or even unhealthy. 

In a healthy connection, saying something like:

“the part that is showing up is disappointed you are not understanding me. The story I am telling myself is that I am not clear and confusing. I am not feeling off in a blaming or disappointed sense towards you. I feel frustrated internally that as evidenced by your responses, you are not understanding me. This reminds me of when I was a child… so that has me pull back and that’s probably why you feel something is off.” 

Then, give them an appreciation of “thank you for checking in.” 

 

Followed with an attuning question, “what is going on for you when you hear me say this?” 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

how to do rough sex with a partner

How to Do Rough Sex with a Partner [Pain into Pleasure!]

How to Do Rough Sex with a Partner [Pain into Pleasure!]

 

So you want to learn how to do rough sex with a partner. We are glad you joined us.

If you would like rough sex with a partner … I have created this video on how to understand more about confidentally perform rough sex.

In romantic relationships and sexual bonds, rough sex is something to be negotiated. That is the goal of this video today!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to understand rough sex, directionality, the difference between harm and hurt, and how to bring pleasure to your bedroom.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

 

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net​  ←HERE

Watch more:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Demisexuality

What is Demisexuality? 

What is Demisexuality? 

Demisexuality is a broad sexual identity that focuses on sexual attraction being strongly linked to someone’s emotional bond with someone. Someone who is demisexual does not [often] feel attraction without emotional connection. 

Someone who is demisexual can be attracted to any gender or person and may identify as straight or same or all sex or gender attracted (LGBTQI+). 

When working with demisexual people, often I hear that they do not identify physical attraction to anyone UNLESS they have an emotional bond and connection. Therefore, for them, there isn’t love at first sight. Demisexuality is an identity where connection is where sexual energy comes from. 

Demisexuals rarely report that they have attraction to someone they have only seen in passing. 

Emotional bonds are emotional connections between people. 

There are a variety of people who will not have partnered sex with someone until they feel like time has passed and they “have gotten to know someone”. However, that is different from what demisexual people’s experience may be. 

Demisexuality Explained

People who are demisexual do not feel attraction to someone else unless emotional connection happens. People who choose to wait to have sex with someone usually still feel attracted to someone much earlier in the process. 

For example, with clients who do not want to have sex until they feel comfortable while online dating they still are able to “swipe right or left” based on their initial response to people’s profile (pictures and information). 

My clients who identify as demisexual have reported having a much harder time online dating in “swiping.” 

Luckily, they begin to know as they start messaging or dating someone rather than just based on pure attraction.

Demisexual individuals value sex as important to them. The common thing in my clients who identify as demisexual is that it matters about the person. And their connection and that that connection is of primary importance. 

People who are demisexual often report the following: 

  • Rarely feel sexual attraction to strangers or acquaintances
  • Felt sexual attraction towards people close to them (friends, romantic partners, etc)
  • Emotional connection determines the level of attraction (sexual, romantic, platonic, etc)
  • Limited interest in engaging in sexual activities regardless of the way someone looks
  • Want a variety of romantic, platonic, etc. relationships because emotional connection is a primary need they have
  • Often need increased levels of emotional bonds (communication and connection) from those in their life

This does not mean that demisexual people do not have sex with people that they are not attracted to. People of variety of identities choose to have sex or not have sex with people regardless of their attraction. Or just because someone feels sexual attraction to someone does not automatically mean they will have sex with them.

I think it is important to recognize that people’s choice around who they choose to have sex with is their own. Allow the individual to identify their own identities rather than others trying to define what someone else’s identity is. 

If you do not understand, please seek to understand and be curious rather than engage in behavior where judgments occur. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

take charge of your life using IAM

Take charge of your life using Inner Aspects Method (IAM)

Take charge of your life using Inner Aspects Method (IAM)

 

Take charge of your life using the Inner Aspects Method if your life feels out of control. 

In American culture, it is common and normal to control and punish children. The idea behind this is that punishment can turn individuals into those that comply and obey. 

Research shows that individuals are more traumatized, repressed, suppressed, or depressed. Many people are overmedicated or experiencing distress and soothing it with their own “medicine”. Some turn to impulsions – food, sex, drinking, drugs, self-harm, affairs, etc. 

We turn to plastic surgery, eating disorders, shaming, and / or blaming to get our way and alleviate the pain. Instead of turning inward, we go outward to feel better. 

Then, sometimes, we may take advantage of others while being overly focused on ourselves. 

Individuals that are seeking power over others because they feel powerless. 

There are many individuals who report profound pain – emotional and / or physical due to their life. Many individuals choose to live in what they know. And what is certain to them, in an attempt to avoid feeling. 

It is important to begin to take charge of your life. Through the IAM model, we can do this. 

Are others confused by you? Or do those around seem to be contradictory? 

Sometimes, people will say one thing one day, and then do something the next day that doesn’t align or match up. 

When others are speaking conflicting statements, does it cause you to wonder if they are crazy? 

More often than I am comfortable with, I realize that individuals make agreements one day. And then with another day and in another context, they are acting an entirely different way. 

Are others lying to themselves or is the world lying? 

It all felt confusing until I learned the Inner Aspect Method (IAM) created by Francesca Gentille. As the creator of the model, she founded this based on Evidence-Based Principles within clinical practice. 

Actually, Dr Joe Dispenza says that 95% of who we think we are by the time we are 35 are our Survival Programs.

 

The first step in the IAM process is to slow down your thoughts and emotions, so that you can observe the patterns of your behavior to see what need they are meeting. 

So, have you heard of nonviolent communication theory? If not, this is the approach that we use in some of the IAM modality. 

For individuals that are sensitive to their emotions and feel that they want a new way of approaching them, this method is incredibly useful. 

Don’t just jump to anger or upset feelings; learn to speak for your feeling (“on behalf of the feeling”). Instead of from your feeling (using a tone of voice to express emotion). 

For example, saying this: My feelings are hurt, so I request 30 minutes or more to process them so I can better communicate with you after. If we can allow some time, I will be able to speak on behalf of the message of my feelings instead of with an emotional tone. 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Communication exercizes for couples

Communication exercizes for couples using Inner Aspects Method

Communication exercizes for couples using Inner Aspects Method

 

When you think of Communication exercizes for couples, you often think of what your partner could do to be better. 

Sometimes, we can sit with our couples therapist and ask for exercises, yet we think that our partner is in the wrong. 

A part of you may be young and scared to show that you too have messed up, and feel something like “Am I safe to say this?” 

Or you could have a part of you that is a rebellious teen saying, “you know, my partner made me go to this therapy session, but I really don’t want to be here.”

Think about all these various parts of you and bring up a picture that represents what your inner aspects look like. 

What’s actually going on inside your mind? 

Who is in bed in your head? 

The Inner Aspects Method (IAM) created by Francesca Gentille is a way to bridge between the personal, the clinical, and the deeper subconscious parts of self. 

The method behind the IAM model is life-changing, personally and professionally, as you start to incorporate its principals. 

For those looking to bring this into their love life, and for clinicians looking to experience this with your clients, you are able to dive deeper into communication exercizes for couples and yourself! 

In the inner aspect method (IAM), participants discover that life follows intentions. 

While having the intention of integrating this into your life, it became clear that it is important to continue growing to the next level. In communication, and in collaboration. The reason we need to practice is because we were mostly trained in communication that was demanding, commanding, criticizing, complaining or coercive. 

This Dominator form of communication is normal yet does not value consent, sovereignty, and / or collaboration. If we want a world of empowered consent within couples relationships, we must train ourselves to utilize language in a new way. 

This will take practice. 

As we practice, we get the results we desire. 

In the OLD Dominator Model we communicated to be heard, get our way, get what we wanted. Who cares if the other person is hurt by that, or didn’t consent? 

In the NEW Model of communication we communicate to achieve collaboration, connection and to look for the win/win. 

It isn’t healthy communication if only one partner is heard, happy, and/ or satisfied. 

Use phrases like: 

  • I’m noticing…
  • A part of me….

Energetically, choose to: 

  • To be Centered & Open.
  • What Inner Aspects have the “microphone” and are speaking for you? 

In Nonviolent Communication, we take the war out of words. 

Do not use: 

  • ACCUSING: 
    • You did this! 
    • She said this. 
    • You did too! 
    • He yelled at me. 
    • They did it first. 
    • You violated, betrayed, used me. 
  • BLAMING: You made ME do or say it.
  • GUILTING: If you hadn’t done/said X, I never would have done Y. 

If you have any questions about technology addiction for yourself or others, let us know. Take your life to the next level through personalized sessions using Text Therapy.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Be more confident in relationship

Be More Confident In Relationship [with Love & Others!]

Be More Confident In Relationship [with Love & Others!]

 

So you want to learn how to be more confident in relationship? We are glad you joined us.

If your emotional needs are not met, and you are feeling less confident that you would like in a relationship, I have created this video on how to understand more about confidence interpersonally. In romantic relationship and friendship, and families as well.

In this video, I’ll teach you how to understand confidence, love and sex, and communication of feeling through confidence.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Get the “2021 Communication Guide”

https://bkib2xu0.pages.infusionsoft.net​ ←HERE

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions about technology addiction for yourself or others, let us know. Take your life to the next level through personalized sessions using Text Therapy.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Technology Addiction

Stop Technology Addiction by Setting Boundaries with Social Media Engagement

Stop Technology Addiction by Setting Boundaries with Social Media Engagement

 

Do you have a technology addiction where you spend hours scrolling? 

Maybe technology, television, or social media is more appealing than spending time with others.

If you are missing out on what you love though, learn to set boundaries with social media engagement and your technology addiction of choice. 

Why Are Boundaries Important with Technology Addiction? 

Setting boundaries are necessary when it comes to social media. Constant scrolling, engaging or focus on social media causes increased stress, anxiety, and depression. 

The social comparison piece of social media has grown so intensely that I have clients who truly struggle with seeing the lives of those around them. And the problem with this snapshot on social media is it is often only one aspect of that person’s life. 

Other’s have found that they are more irritable, anxious, angry, or depressed. Through exploration, it became clear that my clients were spending an extraordinary amount of time on social media. And were becoming more activated as they were scrolling and seeing various things within their feed, stories, or reels. 

If you are spending hours upon hours on social media and struggling with sleep, mood, or completing tasks these all may be signs that you need to re-evaluate your boundaries around your social media usage. 

These technology boundaries can look like: 

  • Having specific times that you engage with social media
  • Changing your notification settings on your devices
  • Limiting the types of social media platforms you use
  • Have a time limit for each device (including Netflix or your firestick) 
  • Changing those that you are “following” or “friends” with 
  • Unfollow is an option for those that 
  • Identify the reasons and purpose of following certain things 
  • If it is someone providing advice or health information, figure out how that information is related to their experiences and make informed choices!

If you have any questions about technology addiction for yourself or others, let us know. Take your life to the next level through personalized sessions using Text Therapy.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Anxiety Quiz

Anxiety Quiz or Is My Life Out of Balance? [WORKSHEET]

Anxiety Quiz or Is My Life Out of Balance? [WORKSHEET]

By Francesca Gentille & Edited by Amanda Pasciucco

 

Do I need an anxiety quiz or is my life just out of balance? Sometimes when life is challenging, it can feel like anxiety and depression are taking over.

One might notice:

  • Eating more or controlling/restricting food and movement
  • Sleeping more or having trouble staying focused and awake throughout the day
  • Sleeping less or having trouble sleeping
  • Shopping more and becoming present less
  • Feeling more irritable, withdrawn, depleted, depressed, or anxious
  • Feeling more aches and pains
  • Impulsively seeking substances more
  • Having a lower sex drive or feeling sexually compulsive

These could be signs of:

    • Hormonal imbalance
    • Loss and grieving
    • Systemic trauma and enculturation
    • A life that is out of balance

If it is due to a life that it is out of balance that means that there are more situations, activities, relationships, agreements, or expectations that might be inauthentic, over giving, lacking in support, high in criticism or something else. 

It might also mean that I am undernourished with situations, activities, and relationships that are replenishing. 

I may also have unresolved trauma or missed functions from childhood that have me:

  • Feel powerless and/or trapped
  • Blame others for my emotions and thoughts
  • Feel reactive, uncomfortable, and unsettled
  • Feel fearful, anxious, and / or insecure

If I am noticing that I either feel collapsed, numb, unable to make choices, overgiving, resentful, and/or reactive, then this is a sign that I have Inner Work to engage in to heal from childhood trauma.

 Not doing this Inner Work will deepen a sense of anxiety, reactivity, powerLESSness and depression. 

If I am unclear, I make 3 lists.

  1. What is not working, or not working as well as I would like. 
  2. What is working; Notice what nourishes me, gives to me, delights me, supports me, in some way. 
  3. I make notes of where I can take positive action. (Taking positive action is taking my personal power to make requests, express boundaries, and invite collaborations. I cannot make anyone else do or feel anything. My empowerment is over myself not another.)

If the list of what isn´t working is short, the list of what is working is short, I know that the issue is NOT that my LIFE is out of balance, yet that there might be something physically and or mentally wrong. Get professional help for your anxiety and / or mental health issues and instead of taking a quiz, see a psychotherapist. 

NOTE: Not all columns will be the same length. 

Anxiety Quiz

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Yoga For Better Sex & Satisfaction

Yoga For Better Sex & Satisfaction

 

We know that yoga is popular, and yoga for better sex is a topic that is often asked about. 

This blog will help you understand the ways in which body postures can help pleasure outcomes.

Put yoga into your schedule daily, or else you won’t see progress.

Similarly, when you have a ritual… it’s more likely to stick with it! 

Begin to follow the poses so you can have yoga and get your desired result of better sex! Similarly, if you have been waiting for your partner(s) to start practicing with you, this may be something that motivates them. 

DOWNWARD DOG

  1. Stretches entire body – including hands and feet
  2. Lengthens spine 
  3. Works the thigh muscles

Yoga For Better Sex

PLANK:

  1. Tones your core
  2. Lengthens the spine and back muscles
  3. Full-body engagement

Yoga For Better Sex

UPWARD DOG

  1. Increases blood flow through the body
  2. Strengthens butt, thighs, and some core
  3. Stretches upper body

Yoga For Better Sex

CAT-COW POSE

  1. Lengthen spine
  2. Engages pelvis and blood flow which promotes orgasm
  3. Engages belly breathing for better oxygen intake

Yoga For Better Sex

LEGS-UP-THE-WALL-POSE

  1. Blood flow to pelvic region
  2. Allows for relaxation

Yoga For Better Sex

HAPPY BABY POSE

  1. Opens hips and works the inner thighs
  2. Releases tension in the upper body

Yoga For Better Sex

BRIDGE-POSE

  1. Hips thrusting in the air to work on strength
  2. Helps with core strength for stamina

Yoga For Better Sex

These are some common poses that are practiced to increase blood flow and strength. Similarly, yoga for better sex is one of the main reasons that people have told me they started going to class to begin with! 

Whatever your reason for practicing yoga, recognize that there are benefits beyond the poses! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Choke Sexually Safely

How to Choke Sexually Safely [TRIGGER WARNING]

How to Choke Sexually Safely [TRIGGER WARNING]

 

WARNING – TRIGGER WARNING!

Many have asked about erotic breath control… or gagging. I wonder if corona and covering faces has given people the idea to play with choking more.

In this video I will teach you some considerations on how to choke sexually safely!

It isn’t safe, and this is a way to do it safer… YET DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT TALKING TO A DOCTOR.

It is dangerous and if you don’t know about the body, you could really hurt or cause permanent damage.

Yes… some people have even died from playing like this. It could be avoided when you are informed. LEARN, LEARN, LEARN all you can about choking sexually safely and learn as much as you can about anything before committing to it.

WARNING – TRIGGER WARNING!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

GET THE BEDROOM NEGOTIATIONS VANILLA & KINK CHECKLIST!

https://qrzbdtau.pages.infusionsoft.net​  ←HERE

 

Watch now:

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.