Foot Fetish Therapy: Are You A Foot Fetishist?

Foot Fetish Therapy: Are You A Foot Fetishist?

 

You’ve probably heard that many therapists are now helping people dealing with various fetishes yet have you heard of foot fetish therapy? When talking about the sexual love of feet, besides foot fetishism, you are maybe familiar with terms such as foot worship and foot partialism. All of these three terms have in common the sexual attraction towards human feet. For instance, if you only enjoy seeing beautiful feet and don’t feel any attraction to them, then you wouldn’t be considered a foot fetishist or podophile, as psychology often refers to it. 

What Does It Take To Be A Foot Fetishist?

Just by doing a simple search on Google for ‘foot fetishes’, you will find hundreds of web pages and if you dig deeper, there’s an incredible number of variations and styles for those who are new to this. From finding porn movies that focus on feet and build the story around it to the articles that discover names of a few famous people who were allegedly foot fetishists, such as Elvis Presley, Ted Bundy and Thomas Hardy. 

A food fetish can be very specific, so the podophile might care a lot about one’s foot dimensions and features. Usually, they will be interested in the size of the foot, toes and heel; the shape of the foot, adornments and embellishments, and many other details that wouldn’t even come to mind to somebody who doesn’t fantasize about feet. A podohile will be aroused when thinking about their interaction with the feet, for instance, massaging, kissing, tickling, touching, sucking, and so on. 

There are also sub-categories of the foot fetish. A person can be really into footwear instead of just feet (retifism) or they can be sexually excited only when they see naked feet (aretifism).

How Psychologists See Foot Fetishes

When looking from the perspective of psychology, the foot fetishes concerns early childhood experiences where sexual responses are usually paired with non-sexual objects. Moreover, the feet are typically the first part of the parent’s body a toddler will touch and vise versa. A more general view of this fetish would be that sexual attraction towards something will be much stronger if the object of your desire is less available.

Think about it, you will often notice someone’s smile, eyes, hands, yet you will rarely see a person’s feet when you meet them. As this explanation is definitely not a rule, various factors might affect developing a foot fetish. Having a fetish like this means absolutely nothing for your physical and mental health. In other words, being attracted to beautiful feet will not affect your life in any way as long as your fetish is not dominating your other aspects of life. 

First-time Experimenting with Feet

It might be that you’ve always been attracted to feet yet you never shared that with anyone or tried it. So, if you’re curious to see how your love for feet can lead to a great sexual experience. Here’s a few tips to make it as enjoyable as possible:

  • Always be aware of hygiene. The person who will have its feet touched, kissed or licked should make sure that their feet are clean. As much as some people get excited by the smell of sweat after a long day of wearing footwear, try to avoid this type of game as many bacterias might lead to health issues later.
  • Both sides need to agree on the foot game. Even if your partner said they wish to try it with you. Make sure that you ask them if this is the first time for both of you as they might feel really uncomfortable. 
  • Be creative. If you’re not sure whether you’ll be into kissing feet immediately, start slow. There are numerous ways to interact with your partner’s feet, from painting nails and massaging to taking photos of your partner’s feet. 
  • Dust yourself off and try again if the first time was a failure. Maybe you or your partner need more practice and if you’re both open to it, why not continue doing it?

Foot Fetishist or Just Curious?

You will easily know are you a foot fetishist or just curious and willing to explore different ways of playing games and having sex. Does the idea of feet excite you? When a person is showing their feet, is it hard for you to focus on anything else? When in bed with someone, do you take a look at their feet more than at their face?

If your answer to each of these questions is ‘YES’, then you are a foot fetishist. If your answer to all of them was ‘NO’. Then it might be you just love trying out different things sexually. This, of course. Doesn’t mean that a person that is not a foot fetishist doesn’t notice feet or doesn’t find them attractive. It’s just not as crucial for them as it is for foot fetishists.

A foot fetishist will usually be aware of his fetish as it will come up every time they see beautiful feet. They might have noticed it in their teen years or even earlier. Yet it rarely happens that an adult person wasn’t aware they have a foot fetish. However, if you feel confused and are not sure whether you’re a foot fetishist or not. It’s always a great idea to talk to a professional.

Foot Fetish Therapy

Just like it is with any issue you might have in your life. The best advice someone can give you is to talk to a therapist. As much as they seem harmless, fetishes can sometimes become out of our control and start affecting our everyday life. For instance, you might talk to your best friend’s wife and you get aroused by her feet. Or you’ll have an interview to work at the local beach bar and the people there will wear flip flops.

Just like with everything else, having a foot fetish is only good if it’s not too much. If your foot fetish leads to more creative, sensual sex with your partner, that’s great. On the other hand, if it turns normal, everyday situations into something challenging and stressful for you. It’s best to seek help and obtain tools that will help you deal with your foot fetish. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

What is a Mouth Gag?[HOW TO USE ONE!]

What is a Mouth Gag?[HOW TO USE ONE!]

 

Are you interested to know what is a mouth gag?

One of my favorite questions to get asked as a kinky sex therapist.

Also – How do you use a mouth gag or ball gag for dominance or bdsm play?

Today we answer that!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Mommy Kink: Definition & Ways To Practice It

Mommy Kink: Definition & Ways To Practice It

 

You’ve probably already heard about daddy kink, yet mommy kink is not as known. The reason for it is that both of these concepts are not as commonly discussed! 

Yet, there’s no doubt that mommy kink is here to stay. 

Mommy kink is a sexual or/and romantic attraction for women who care for you, protect you, and provide you with “unconditional” positive regard. This woman will be in a relationship with you and will treat you like her loving little child. The goal with a mommy kink is that you’ll be the center of her attention.

In a mommy kink, you can have the feeling of your ‘mommy’ caressing your hair, kissing your forehead, and pulling you into her arms. In a mommy kink, her arms are the safe, protected, loved and nurtured place. 

Who’s Your Mommy? 

In this context, a ‘mommy’ is a woman that enjoys caring for and treating her partner as a child, while in role. Also known as a mommy fetish, mommy kink is similar to daddy kink. 

Yet there are subtle differences between mommy and daddy kinks. The daddy kink is often based on guidance, as the little one needs a ‘daddy’ to protect them and tell them right from wrong. On the other hand, the mommy kink is primarily loving and nurturing. The mommy is protecting her little one and nurturing them from the rest of the world.

She is here to take away the problems you have and be your support for the time you are in role. This type of relationship is common for those who lead stressful lives. For instance, if a person is experiencing problems at work, they might need that certainty of nurturance at night. A mommy could help a person like this get out of bed and feel motivated.

This kink can occur in strictly sexual relationships as well, where there is no romantic attachment to the other person. Here, an individual will get sexually excited to think of their partner in the role of mom. They will enjoy the love and care coming from her, as they can leave responsibilities aside, and simply be taken care of by another. 

Mommy, Come Play With Me

So, if a woman is taking care of her submissive, how does this look in the sheets? 

The foreplay and the intercourse can be different from couple to couple. Therefore, there are various ways to practice mommy kink with your partner. 

Before you start practicing, it’s vital to discuss this kink with them. 

With every kink a person might have, it’s recommended to inform the other partner instead of surprising them with it during the scene. 

Tell your partner you’re fantasizing about trying out the roles of mommy and little. If they’re unfamiliar with this kink, explain it to them and share some of the examples or this blog. 

Whatever you do, do not share the hardcore examples of your kink with your partner if they are new to it. This will not provide you with what you want and chances are it will leave a mark on your sex life and your relationship. 

Once your partner has accepted wanting to try this role, introduce small things to your relationship. It’s best to start with small changes even if your partner is interested in exploring the kink, because sometimes they change their mind. 

Mommy Kink Sex

When it comes to sex, there are a variety of things you and your partner can try out. Some of them you’ve already tried, yet you weren’t aware they are part of the mommy kink concept. 

For instance, you might cuddle with your partner, or ‘mommy’ and ask her to breastfeed you. While enjoying kissing and licking her nipples, you can ask her to caress your hair and talk with a nice, calming voice.

Doesn’t sound so out of your realm, right? 

Of course, there are many other ways to practice mommy kink and it will depend on what you and your partner want. 

You might decide that this gentle, caring foreplay is perfect for those days when you both want to make love. Or, you might use this role play to get excited and continue with your regular partnered sex pattern. 

One thing is for sure, the options are limitless!

Mommy Kink Ideas

Now, it’s time to enjoy your mommy kink side! As mentioned above, it’s up to you to choose how you will practice it. If you’re thinking about ideas, you’ll see a list here for practicing mommy kink:

  • Seduce one another over the text messages by calling each other according to your roles. This will help prepare yourselves for action when you both get home. 
  • Start calling her ‘mommy’ as an invitation to come to bed and give you some love.
  • Use the time for foreplay to gently caress each other’s bodies and ask for her to hold you.
  • When you’re having an orgasm, call each other by your role names. 
  • This can also prolong the time you stay in bed after sex and simply cuddle. 

It’s up to you both to determine which are your mommy kink games and which aren’t. You should explore your kink and have fun with it. If it makes you both feel good and the sex is even better, the ideas will start appearing on its own!

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Daddy Kink: Explore Everything Behind It

Daddy Kink: Explore Everything Behind It

 

What does it mean if a person has a daddy kink? Well, if you’re no stranger to juicy games that happen in the sheets, you’ve probably already heard of this term. Daddy kink implies you get excited from calling your partner ‘daddy’ and building your sex fantasies around it. As one of the kinks we barely talk about, it’s time to see what daddy kink is and how you can enjoy it without the feeling of guilt or embarrassment. 

What’s the Fuss With Daddy Kink?

Sex used to be a big taboo in the past and now, we’re all opening up a bit more and discussing our sexuality with our partners and friends. However, you don’t feel the same about all topics in the sex talks you’re having with your close ones, right? Talking about the way you get excited when calling your partner ‘daddy’ is one of these topics. 

As many will interpret this desire as a sign you have a problem in a relationship with your father, you’ll hold this as your biggest secret and share it only with your partner. There are even relationships where one partner is ashamed sharing this kink with the other as they think they will be judged, laughed at or they will harm their relationship. 

Daddy kink is just like any other kinks a person might have. Your sexuality is a place where there should only be acceptance and curiosity. Yet, before sharing it with others, it’s inevitable that you have accepted that this kink turns you on and that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

Daddy Kink Sex

Although the majority of sex games will begin before the actual act of intercourse, let’s take a look at what’s different in bed if you decide to practice your daddy kink. This type of spanking, name-calling and sometimes degrading domination would mean that a person calls their partner ‘daddy’ and they play the role of his baby. Putting the power into the hands of the partner, the person is submissive during the sexual act, and sometimes before and after it.

One of the common practices of the daddy kink sex would be the reward-punishment system. As your ‘daddy’, your partner has the right to reward or punish you, depending on how well you behave. So, he might ask you to be ‘good’ and kneel in front of him without saying a word, and if you perform well, he will reward you. 

On the other hand, if he feels like you’ve been ‘bad ’ during the day or the sex game, he might punish you. There are no limits when it comes to rewards and punishments. You can have a system in place with your partner or you can let him surprise you with his ideas. 

Your Man as a Daddy

When talking about daddy kink, we’ll usually cover the woman’s perspective on it. As much as women are the ones who will develop this type of kink, a man’s perspective is nothing less interesting. It’s not uncommon for a man to be turned on by his partner calling him daddy. 

A man who wants you to call him ‘daddy’ enjoys the power he has in order to bring sensational pleasure to both of you. He will think of the games, his own reward-punishment system and other details he’d like to try out with you. If you’re both determined to make the most of daddy kink, you’ll be in for more fun in the sheets and probably, outside of them as well.

Each Game Needs Two

Unfortunately, unlike many other sex kinks and games, this scenario has two roles to fill. There cannot be a baby without the daddy, and there cannot be a daddy without the baby. Even if you’re in a relationship, what happens if your partner is not into the daddy kink as much as you are? Understanding and accepting a concept like this can require some time. Maybe your partner is not so open to accepting a daddy kink idea at first instance, yet this might change with time.

Always communicate that this has nothing to do with your actual dad. It’s just a sex game, the same way you might ask to be a teacher and your partner your student. That doesn’t mean you want to become a teacher, it simply means you enjoy these roles and the power play it represents.

For those who are still not sure whether they like daddy kink or not, there are light versions of it as well. For example, you can just start with the name-calling, and the male partner can have more power in sex, such as being on top or asking for a blow job. 

Daddy Kink Ideas

There’s plenty of things you and your partner might come up with when it comes to letting your daddy kink shine. For those who are willing to explore it and don’t know how to start, here’s a list of ideas for daddy kink games. They are organized from the light to hardcore ones. 

  • During the foreplay, start calling each other ‘daddy’ and ‘baby girl/baby boy’. 
  • Before the penetration, he can decide which is the right moment and the position to penetrate.
  • He can tie your hands and/or blindfold your eyes during intercourse. In this case, he is the one making all the moves in bed and deciding when the game ends.
  • The baby can seduce the ‘daddy’ with their innocent, childish behavior which then leads to sex.
  • The man can use its ‘daddy’ power to dominate his partner into doing what he wants before, during and after sex.

Whatever you choose, thinking of it as something you’re currently exploring. You might like some of these things and you might reject others. It all depends on your and your partner’s preferences. As long as you’re both communicating about your desires, you will enjoy your daddy kink sex!

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How To Make a Woman Squirt [FEMALE ANATOMY!]

How To Make a Woman Squirt [FEMALE ANATOMY!]

 

Female Anatomy: How to Make a Woman Squirt!

A person pleasing a woman ought to know what her parts are…in my opinion.

Ladies listen up and learn so much about what makes you you.

Learn all about pleasure that comes from knowing the body deeply & directly.

Let’s talk about female anatomy and squirting or female ejaculation!

Especially for the women out there who never learned about it!

In order to get the most out of our sexual experiences safely and consciously, we must first understand the body – especially the female anatomy. Women’s anatomy is important! Right women?

Instead of shaming the body, as many are taught to do while growing up, praise the woman – especially as you are helping her squirt!

Doing this will set up the framework for you to appreciate your own female anatomy.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

kink ideas

Kink Ideas Every Couple Needs to Try Out

 Kink Ideas Every Couple Needs to Try Out

 

You don’t have to be a ‘50 Shades of Grey’ fan to know one or two kink ideas that will spice up your sex life. After all, turning your wildest fantasies into reality with your sex partner is something we all need from time to time to avoid getting stuck in the routine. So, how many of these ideas have already been crossing your mind, yet you somehow missed to fulfill them?

Well, if you still need a bit of motivation and to hear about a few more ideas that other kinksters recommend. You will easily find something you and your partner will want to try out. So, from the tame to the wild, these are all the ideas that might shake things up for you!

The Mirror Game

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the kinkiest of them all? If you and your sex partner would love to see how your kinky sides look like, why not start having sex in front of the mirror? You can explore each other bodies better and enjoy the faces your partner is doing while you’re having sex. 

This will give you both a better view and also add an additional dimension to your sex life. From enjoying how their touch feels to fall in love with their facial expressions, there is nothing you will not love when it comes to the mirror game. 

Ice Me, Baby

When we’re stuck with our daily responsibilities, we often forget that just a little prop that everyone has in their homes can light that flame and lead to the wildest sex of your life. For instance, you might get ice cubes and start rolling them down your partner’s neck while kissing them on the lips and asking them to close their eyes.

Then, you can start going lower with the ice cube all the way to their belly button. During all of this icy game, you can kiss, lick, bite, and tease them to heighten their sense. For those who want to take it a step further, you can blindfold your partner, so they can get a more sensual experience. 

Text Dirty To Me

Working hard is not a good enough excuse to stop heating things up between the two of you, right? Although sometimes it’s really challenging to find time for sex games, you will always have a minute to text. So, why not send a dirty text to your partner and share with them what’s on your (dirty) mind? Forget about the limitations, share with them the juiciest details on how you would like to do it, where, for how long, etc. 

Of course, it can also be voice messages or phone calls. You can call your partner and talk dirty to them, and use it as an invitation to spend the lunch break together in a car having sex. Or, you can send a sexy massage to your partner with instructions for the game you both will be playing once you get home. 

Role Play

There are no limitations when it comes to all the scenarios you can play out with your partner in bed. You can do whatever you want, and you can also be whoever you want. So, if you or your sex partner have a thing for doctors, teachers, handymen. Or any other role, why not turn it into reality?

You can be the sexy teacher and your partner can be a naughty student who hasn’t finished their homework and needs to be punished. Or, your partner can be a hot doctor and you are a worried patient in a lot of pain. Whichever role you chose, make sure you get into it completely. You can choose an accent, put on a wig, buy an appropriate outfit, and take your game to a place where your characters will come to life even more.

Watch Me Get It On

You might not be immediately encouraged to try to masturbate in front of your partner. Yet this is great foreplay for both of you. Allow your partner to watch you pleasure yourself, and don’t restrain yourself from anything you’d like to do. Whatever turns you on will turn on your partner even more!

For those who feel great about this kink idea, you can even put on a show where you start dancing to your partner’s favorite music and start touching yourself until you end up on a bed or a couch next to them masturbating. 

 

Ready, Set, Record!

Many couples feel incredibly sexy and motivated to throw on a great sex performance when they know they are recording themselves. Ask your partner how they feel about it, and if they like the idea, start recording your sex. You don’t need any special equipment like a professional camera and lighting. After all, you’re not interested in a well-produced movie. 

Instead, you and your partner are looking for some fun, and having a tape of you two in between the sheet might light that kinky flame between you. Maybe you will not even watch your hot piece of art. Yet you might get additional pleasure just by knowing you’re recording.

Outdoor Sex

Feeling a little bit of fear of being exposed while having sex is like an aphrodisiac for many people. Having sex in public places has this intensive combination of fear, uncertainty, and it’s spontaneous – most of the time. It’s up to you and your partner to choose a place where you want to do it. For instance, it can be a bathroom of a cafe or a restaurant, a parking lot during late hours, a bench in a park, behind a tree, etc. 

As long as it’s outdoor, it’s considered to be public sex. For those who are a little bit shy yet still want to try out this kink idea, you should start with places that have a very minimal possibility of someone catching you in your wildest moments. 

When it comes to kink ideas, it’s completely up to your partner and yourself to determine what you want to try out and what is not for you. If an idea doesn’t seem comfortable to you for whatever reason, just don’t do it. You should only be up for the ideas that will improve your sex life, not make it worse!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Rigger Kink

Do You Have A Rigger Kink? Learn The Ropes in Bondage

Do You Have A Rigger Kink? Learn The Ropes in Bondage

 

Have you heard of a rigger kink or rope bondage before? 

Sometimes known as the art of kinbaku or shibari. Those that have a rigger kink fantasize about tying up a partner in rope. 

Shibari or rope bondage is one of the most artistic forms of sensuality, intimacy, and surrender. 

Imagine the rope as a tool to express connection and attunement between those involved. The rigger (the person tying) and the rope model / rope bottom or guided (the person getting the rope on their body) explore the notion of give and take while embodied into one connective medium of rope. Immediately, non-verbal communication and cuing of body language comes into play between those involved. Rigger Kink

If you are the type of person who likes to learn a new skill set, if you are the type of person who wants to practice submission by physically being bound, if you are interested in the idea of trusting someone to tie you up, this may be a kink for you. 

Go to fetlife.com and look for rope / shibari dojos or who the teachers are in your local community. Although youtube videos are great for rope (I have made some myself), it is not like going into a place where someone will teach you more about the type of rope to use, the tension of rope, and beginner ties. 

When you think of a rigger kink, imagine creating something intimate for the person you are guiding. Imagine surrendering into something that feels safe and containing. 

People practice BDSM relationship styles just like others practice egalitarian lifestyles. You know how you may really look forward to getting or giving an engagement ring. A person within a BDSM relationship with a rigger may see the same amount of significance with their rope kit. 

A rope kit contains your rope (nylon, hemp, or jute), cutting shears, and all hardware you will need for the rope scene you want to do! 

When you have a rigger kink, usually you have a style of rope you enjoy receiving or being put in. 

The rope kit will get cut to your body size and shape so that when you are doing certain ties, the knots fall in places that will not harm your body. 

 

Some Common Facts If You Want To Be A Rigger

Rigger kink is fun…until we get to the warnings! Rope is edgeplay. You are allowed to consensually hurt one another as adults. Yet “do no harm” is an important motto for when you are getting into more serious rigger kink play. Suspensions and tying rope around certain limbs incorrectly or for too much time will cause damage. Similarly, if you are going to tie someone in rope and you have never CUT your rope, you must do this first. 

What this means is you must know how to cut the person out of the rope! If you check out the work of Lew Rubens or Georg Barkas, you will see two very different styles of rope bondage. 

Those who are riggers carry a rope kit on them, their carabiner hardware, often two (or more) cutting implements, a first aid kit with liquid bandage. A blanket for their rope bottom after the rope scene, a water bottle, a granola or protein bar. 

I strongly recommend that you take lessons privately or at least visit your local rope dojo in the beginning. If you are not tying weekly, or daily, you are significantly behind those who practice the art of rope bondage for rigger kink. 

Learn a somerville bowline and watch some of our rope videos: 

 

Rigger Kink Supports Your Love Languages

Practicing rigger kink can provide both rigger and rope bottom with a strategy that meets their love languages. Acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation exchanged, gift giving of rope kits, and physical touch of the bondage are all achieved in rigger kink. Rigging and rope bondage can be a great way to experience intimacy and fun with your partner.

Additional Help Available with LCAT’s Sex Therapy Video:

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How Do I Tell My Partner My Kink?

How Do I Tell My Partner My Kink?

 

Learn skill sets to learn how to tell your partner about your kink. Ask them about their kink or share your own!

How do I tell my partner my kink? This video is for you.

Let’s talk about kink and telling our partners.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex With Wife

Sex With Wife: No More Taboos in the Bedroom

Sex With Wife: No More Taboos in the Bedroom

 

If you’re married, a topic like sex with wife is something that will always catch your attention, right? There are plenty of reasons why sex in marriage is always an interesting topic, even for those who are still not married. Nobody can deny that sex is one of the crucial aspects of each relationship. So, if you and your wife have ever had issues in the bedroom, you know how frustrating it can be to discuss these issues and find quality solutions.

Marriage takes a lot of effort, and sex comes as a result of that effort. What changed from that era when you two were having a lot of sex? Are there any things you are missing during the intercourse? Is your career, health or maybe the relationship between you two affecting your or your wife’s sexual appetite? 

If any of these questions seem relevant to you, here is everything you’d like to know about sex with your wife, yet haven’t had the time or courage to explore it deeper. 

When does sex with wife change in marriage?

There is no precise moment when changes in your marriage start occurring, and the same is with your sexual life. Once married, some people will start to take many things for granted – eating breakfast together, cooking a new meal together, holding hands, cuddling in bed, and everything else that’s considered a typical activity for passionate couples.

The issues occur when routine kicks in, and you put your other responsibilities above your marriage and don’t make time for each other. And, that’s where the problem lies – intimacy. When you meet a new person, by talking to her, cuddling with her and, of course, having sex with her, you are both being intimate. 

Once people feel they know each other well enough, they stop being curious about each other. Yet, intimacy has nothing to do with new things or people in our lives. You can be intimate with your wife when sharing a stressful event from work or talking about a discussion you had with a family member.

These moments create intimacy between spouses, and the more you create of them, the more you will feel that sexual desire. Luckily, even if you find yourself in this unpleasant situation where you don’t know how to light a flame between the two of you, there are a few things you can do to improve things. 

What can I do to have more sex with my wife? 

If your wife is not interested to have sex with you when you propose it, there are several things you can do to change the situation. Start creating more time for the both of you which doesn’t have to lead to sex. For example, you can take her out on a dinner date in the same restaurant where the first one took place. Or, you can suggest doing an activity you both have never done so far (bowling, bungee jumping, snorkeling, etc.). 

It might sound harsh, yet you need to create more room for your relationship in your wife’s life. She is probably too tired of all the responsibilities and doesn’t have enough energy after a long day to dedicate her quality time to you. So, although you might not be motivated to do the dishes or wash the clothes, if it’s going to give her more time to be intimate with you, just do it. 

How to be more intimate with my wife?

You might think that you know all about each other, and even if that’s the case, do you know what she did today or yesterday? Keep in mind that topics for marriage conversations shouldn’t always involve daily activities and responsibilities. Talk about things that you miss, that you wish to do more with her, and ask her what she needs. These conversations are incredibly valuable and can improve the quality of your relationships.

You cannot expect to have more sex with your wife if other aspects of your marriage are failing. Clear the air first, and then the sexual desire will appear in both of you. There is no magic trick to bring the fire into the bedroom, yet it never appears when the couple has lost their intimacy.

Here are some ideas on what you can do to increase intimacy and have more sex with your wife:

  • Surprise her with a home cooked dinner. Light some candles, put on some nice music and turn off your devices. Make the night all about her.
  • Take her for a road trip to a charming city or village nearby. Use the drive to talk more about your relationship and tell her how you wish to use this day to make a beautiful memory for both of you.
  • If she is having a stressful day, text her you’ll do the house chores and that you already booked her a massage in her favorite spa saloon. 
  • If you’re working on weekends, invite her friends to surprise her with a bottle of wine and a nice talk in your home.
  • Write her a letter. It can be about how you feel about her, what you wish for in your marriage or anything else that might bring you closer together.

It’s quite simple actually! If your sexual desire hasn’t changed and hers did, something else must have changed for her as well. Does she have more responsibilities at home now? Has she accepted a promotion that leads to more stress? Is she doing all those little things that make her happy? If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, think about how you can help her. 

Which things can harm your sexual life in marriage?

Even with the best intentions, one can easily harm their marital life. If your wife said she is not interested, don’t push her. Rather, try to find out what makes her uninterested in having sex with you at that moment. Maybe the timing is not right as she feels tired, in pain or stressed out.

Also, don’t turn sex conversations into a taboo in your marriage. When you both have a moment, talk about what sex represents for you and what needs to change in order to be more sexually intimate with each other. The more you understand each other, the easier it will be to restore that connection.

 

How can you expect her to understand you need more sex or want to change a few things if you are unable to understand her first? Talk first, and once you really have more understanding of the situation you are both in, it will be easier to act.

Maybe you will need to plan to spend more time together during the week, send kids to their grandparents for the weekend, or travel somewhere to enjoy that good sex you used to have. And, don’t think of these ideas as a solution. You will not always be able to escape the city, or spend endless hours together on days you’re both working. Instead, think of it as a fresh start of a marriage you will both nurture by being more intimate daily.

Lastly, don’t isolate sex from intimacy, think of it as an entire package. The more you both are attentive to each other, that intimacy will spread around other aspects of your lives, including sexual. In the end, what’s better than having sex with the person you have chosen for a lifetime?

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

National Kink Month

National Kink Month: Learn About BDSM & Kink Lifestyle

National Kink Month: Learn About BDSM & Kink Lifestyle

 

Did you know that in October we’re celebrating National Kink Month. A day for all kinksters and BDSM lovers out there? You might be a kink expert or someone who is only exploring what it entails. So it’s a great moment to learn more about kink, BDSM, and everything else such a lifestyle involves. 

The goal of this article is to inform, educate, and inspire those who are looking to learn more about kink or simply wish to celebrate National Kink Month and remind themselves of what’s important to them. 

So, let’s dive into it right away, shall we? 

What is a Kink Lifestyle? 

If you’re to compare a person with a kink lifestyle to a one without it, the obvious difference between them would be the engagement in kinky activities. These activities might be performed in the bedroom, outside the house, at a party, or anywhere else, and they would need to be present in one’s life in order to say this person leads a kink lifestyle. 

Also, how are you integrating your kink into your life in general? Do you know some places in your city where people with similar interests gather and just hang out? Are you a member on forums or platforms where other kinksters share their experiences and look for friends and partners? Don’t worry because even without it, you would still be considered a person with a kink lifestyle, however, you’d probably be the only one knowing it. 

When someone has a certain interest, whether the nature of that interest is sexual or not. It’s very common that they wish to connect with people who share that interest and feel like a part of the community.

How to Live Your Best Kink Life?

No matter if you’re new to the kink lifestyle or not, you will probably be focused on making the most of it and finding ways to always feel happy and positive with your kinky side. Depending on your preferences, your life as a kinky person can be very different from someone else’s. If you’re still thinking about your kink personality and not sure what your options are, here is a list that might help you with it:

  • Explore kink culture by reading articles and books, watching movies, and listening to music.
  • You can start exploring dominance/submission in the bedroom, and also when you’re out with your partner.
  • You can sign up on BDSM or kink forums and dating apps to meet other kinksters. 
  • Visit events where people with kink interests also go, e.g. concerts, theater, festivals, etc.
  • You can work on integrating kink long-term into your life and applying kink philosophies and beliefs into other areas as well.

How Can I Become a Kinkster?

If you’re not already, the only reason why you’re reading this is that you want to become a part of the kink community. So, how can you start living a kink lifestyle? The best way to do it is by talking to people you’re interested in and sharing your kink side with them. They might also be open to exploring their kinkiness, so you can both immerse yourself into the exciting world of BDSM. 

You can even come up with a plan and goals as a couple or you can do it just for yourself. Write a list of specific things you wish to explore. It can be anything, sex positions, games, outfits, role-playing, etc. 

Once you start practicing BDSM or kinky sex, make sure you do regular check-ins with your sex partner as it’s important to see are you still both enjoying it and if something needs to be addressed. Also, try to talk about your kink side with at least one friend. It’s nice to be able to share what excites you with supportive friends who don’t have to be interested in that type of lifestyle at all. 

Kinky Sex 

 BDSM is not the same as kinky sex. In reality, it’s just one of the categories that you can explore. Besides BDSM, there is also fantasy role-playing, fetishes, voyeurism or exhibitionism, and group sex. You can try out all of these kinky sex categories to see which of them you prefer and which of them you don’t want to practice under any circumstances. 

When it comes to kinky sex, the most essential part about it is consent. Make sure you always give and ask for consent when you’re practicing it. As much as communication is vital to healthy sexual relationships, the lack of it when exploring dominant/submissive roles or causing pain to each other might seriously harm the relationship.

Use safe words to avoid confusion and discomfort. As this type of sex might involve restraints or resistance, using safe words can help you communicate better in bed. The most common safe words are ‘red’ for ‘stop’ and ‘green’ for ‘go’. Of course, each person can choose their own safe words as long as they share them with their partner before having sex.

Another important element in kinky sex is pain. The pain in kinky sex should bring you pleasure and you should enjoy it completely. If it’s making you feel too uncomfortable, scared, or hurt, stop immediately. Thinking about the pain and experiencing it are often two very different things. So if you suggested something you are regretting now, make sure you’re using your safe word. 

The Bottom Line

There are many ways to dive deeper into your kink side. Whatever you do, just don’t ignore it! There are no right or wrong choices, and the best way to think about it is as a learning process and experimenting with something new. If you only want your kink to come alive in the bedroom, that’s fine. If you want it to be active 0-24, that’s also fine. Whatever makes you happy and satisfied is the best choice for you!

 

Additional Help Available with LCAT’s Sex Therapy Video:

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Open Relationship in Long Distance [INFINITE LOVE ❤️]

Open Relationship in Long Distance [INFINITE LOVE ❤️]

 

So we had a follower ask a question about what to do if you are in an open relationship in long distance relationship, so we made this video.

Being in an open relationship is tough, yet so is being in a relationship that is long distance. The goal is to help you get through and avoid some key mistakes that beginners make. No shame, no blame! Yet lets all grow and learn!

If you are in an open relationship and long distance…. This will help you in your relationship.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

High Functioning Depression

High Functioning Depression: Everything You Need To Know About It

High Functioning Depression: Everything You Need To Know About It

 

High-functioning depression is in many ways similar to major depression, but the signs and symptoms are less severe. Some of the most common signs a person can notice would be changes in sleeping and eating habits. Fatigue, lower self-esteem, and lack of concentration and hope. These symptoms will be present on the majority of days, causing a low mood that can last two years or even more. People who are struggling with high-functioning depression usually don’t show it externally so it’s not that easy to detect it.

Luckily, those who are dealing with this type of depression can go under treatment, which consists of medications and therapy, and it can be treated successfully. Another term that science is using to refer to high functioning depression is persistent depressive disorder (PDD). Here is everything you need to know about it. 

Definition of high functioning depression

Many mental disorders can make it difficult for a person to function as others do. Actually, it’s one of the most important diagnostic criteria for many mental illnesses. Such impairment implies that a person is not able to function fully in one or more areas of their life due to a certain mental health condition. For instance, they are not able to perform successfully at their job for long, or they are not able to ace their exam although they studied so hard for it. High functioning depression can also affect your personal life. So someone with high functioning depression will not be able to manage healthy relationships and will also avoid social activities, to name just a few examples. 

The people struggling with this form of depression will be able to function normally most of the time, yet they will experience most of the depression symptoms. That’s why it’s called persistent depressive disorder (PDD). 

High functioning depression symptoms

If you or someone in your life suspects of having a high functioning depression, or persistent depressive disorder, it’s best to reach out to a psychiatrist or any other mental health professional. High functioning depression should be diagnosed in order to be treated, and certain criteria need to be met for a diagnosis. When going through them, you will notice they are very similar to symptoms used to diagnose major depression. However, with high functioning depression, they are less severe. 

The first criteria are that the person is experiencing a depressed, low mood most of their days for at least two years. Also, this depressed mood should be present for most of the day. And it includes two of these symptoms below or more: 

  • Weak appetite or overeating
  • Insomnia or oversleeping
  • Lack of energy and fatigue
  • Lack of self-esteem
  • Concentration difficulties and struggling to make decisions
  • The feeling of sadness and hopelessness

Besides these symptoms, a psychiatrist or another mental health professional will also check other criteria that need to be met to diagnose a PDD. These are: 

  • The person has never experienced mania or hypomania, which is what unusual euphoric and energetic moods are called.
  • There is no better way to explain the depression symptoms by another mental illness, medical condition or substance abuse. 
  • The symptoms a person has in their depressed mood have to cause some impairment in at least one area of the person’s life, including significant distress.
  • A person with PDD as a diagnosis might also meet the criteria for major depression.

Do you have high functioning depression?

As it will be difficult to respond to these questions with the help of a professional, There are other moments you might recognize in your life that might indicate you have a high functioning depression. While going through this list, if the majority of these things sound close to you, you should consider seeking adequate treatment and support. 

  • Most of the time, you feel down or depressed. Your friends and family notice it as well and they have pointed it out to you several times already.
  • When you are feeling happy, these moments usually don’t last long and you go back to your low mood. 
  • You also feel tired most of the time, although you get enough sleep and are not sleep deprived in any way.
  • When talking about energy, most of the time you feel like you lack it and that’s preventing you from even doing the things you want to do.
  • You don’t feel good about yourself. Also, you feel as if you don’t deserve happiness or are unworthy of connecting with others.
  • Your weight is changing without your willingness to change it; it’s simply a result of having no appetite or overeating.
  • You might also lack hope or you will need to cry a lot without a real, concrete reason. 
  • Your performance at school or work might be really good. Yet you are facing difficulties when it comes to concentration and focus.  
  • You need to force yourself to participate in social activities because you don’t feel the actual need of going. 

Coping with depressive episodes

When talking about high functioning depression, there are many coping mechanisms. One of the most recommended techniques is journaling. Once you start writing your feelings and thoughts onto a piece of paper or in a document on your computer. You will feel like you can manage them with more ease. This, of course, doesn’t imply that just by journaling you can achieve improvement, yet it’s a good way of documenting how you feel every day and not having to have all these emotions and thoughts bottled up inside. 

Another great coping mechanism is exercising. Besides being a great, healthy activity, exercising can also make you feel more relaxed, energized and satisfied. With a wide variety of activities, you can choose whichever one you prefer – yoga, pilates, jogging, cardio, kickbox, swimming, hiking, etc. 

For those looking for more indoor activities, the perfect option is cooking. We often overlook all the positive sides of a cooking process and skip to conversations about the importance of good nutrition, yet cooking is such a valuable activity for everyone. The feeling of achievement when you prepare a meal for the first time, the creativity of combining different ingredients, the mesmerizing smell spreading around your kitchen, … All these things can elevate your mood easily, and maybe next time, you’ll be even ready to invite your friends over for dinner. 

As much as working or studying can be productive activities for you, don’t spend your free time on it. You should have hobbies and activities that make you feel good. Improve your self esteem and decrease the fear of not being worthy of something. Once you decide what makes you feel good about yourself. Make a promise to yourself that you will always find time for it. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

 

When was the last time you had a really good, real orgasm? Yeah, we’re talking about the ones where you really enjoyed it and didn’t fake it just to get it over with. Having an orgasm is so much more than just finalizing the intercourse between you and your sexual partner. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of discussions to be held until we all feel comfortable talking about what excites us, what we don’t like and what is necessary for one person to have a good orgasm.

Why fake it?

Although you will instantly imagine a woman when talking about faking orgasms, did you know that men can also fake an orgasm? So, why does one feel the need to fake an orgasm? This happens more often in long-term relationships than in only-sex agreements between two people. The reason for that is pretty obvious – you don’t want to hurt the other person. However, why have we normalized working on every aspect of our relationships besides the sexual? 

Maybe sex is no longer a taboo in media or on social platforms yet it still is in relationships. Hurting your partner is not the only bad outcome you can have from faking an orgasm. That feeling of mutual excitement and satisfaction is very unique and denying yourself the right to enjoy it every time you have sex would mean losing something pretty valuable.

Which benefits does an orgasm have for a person?  

Having a real orgasm will provide you with incredible health benefits. So, the next time you think about faking it, think about it as something good for your health, not just for your sex life. Here are just some of the benefits you can expect to notice from good, real orgasms:

  • An orgasm has impressive sedating powers. When climaxing, it triggers surges of oxytocin and prolactin, the relaxant hormones in our bodies, which when combined with the release of endorphins can result in feeling sleepy. 
  • It regulates your cycle. When you’re having an orgasm, blood and nutrients rush to the vagina making sure everything is working perfectly down there. 
  • It lowers your cortisol levels and takes care of your heart. This way, you don’t have to fear heart diseases that come from elevated levels of cortisol. 
  • During orgasm, the human growth hormone is being released, which also stimulates collagen.
  • Each time you have an orgasm, your pelvic muscles will contract and release, toning your pelvic floor which is pretty important for your core strength, bladder control, etc. 

Besides these stunning health benefits, a real orgasm also makes you closer to your partner. The oxytocin will surge after the orgasm and it will even deepen the connection you have with your partner. If you were wondering what makes you want to cuddle so much after sex, there’s your explanation!

How to get there?

Faking it or not, we all know that to get to orgasm takes more than just snapping your fingers. How to orgasm more often is what many of us want to learn, so to help you enjoy sex more, here are the best tips on how to orgasm more. 

For women, the clitoris is their go-to climaxing place. Many pleasures and releases of orgasm come actually from the clitoris, yet not every woman prefers the same touch. You will need to treat it very individually and learn what each woman likes and dislikes. After all, the preferred touch will help a woman climax quicker and better.

Others will climax when their partner is in contact with their G-spot, placed between the vaginal opening and cervix. Although you cannot see it, you can easily feel it with your finger. When pressing on the G-spot with a finger, penis or vibrator, many women will feel very excited which will then lead to a very pleasant orgasm.  

For those looking for more pleasure, you should go for blended orgasm. This type of climax occurs when more than one of your erogenous zones are being stimulated at the same time. For instance, it can be a G-spot penetration with a little bit of clitoral touching. What you can expect is an explosive orgasm due to the fact of feeling pleasure in different spots of your body. 

In reality, the more orgasms you have, the more you can expect in the future. More practice brings more pleasure. Have an honest conversation with your sexual partner about what you both like and dislike in bed and dedicate some time to explore how both of you can reach maximum pleasure while having sex. 

How to know if your partner is faking it?

Maybe your partner will not be so opened to this conversation and you’ll need to point out the signs that they are not enjoying sex as much as they say they do. These signs are not too obvious and sometimes, they will depend on the person, yet there are several things you might notice if you suspect your sexual life is not as good as you both wish it to be. 

Orgasming on demand.

If your partner comes after you’ve repeatedly asked them to, chances are they are faking it. Adding too much pressure will not get the person to orgasm faster. Instead, focus more on doing the things you know your partner enjoys in bed and forget about the orgasm as the goal.

No foreplay.

This is more for women as they tend to need more foreplay to climax. Skipping foreplay and jumping into sex immediately might be good for a quicky every once in a while, however, don’t turn it into a habit. Try out that thing you read about in your favorite magazine or do something you both once talked about and never did. Don’t limit yourself, explore the world of pleasure and orgasm will come as a delicious dessert for the both of you. 

No contractions.

When the majority of women are climaxing, you will be able to feel their vagina is pulsing. These pelvic muscle contractions will indicate that the vagina walls are gripping. In other words, the woman is experiencing a real orgasm. So, if you hear her screaming that she’s about to come, focus a bit on her pelvic muscles and see if they’re pulsing. If not, it’s time for that real sex talk!

Make your pleasure a priority

Man or woman, we all deserve to feel sexual pleasure. The reason why women don’t have so many orgasms as men do is that they don’t prioritize their pleasure. They will usually think that sex is enough, often forgetting how liberating and sensual an orgasm can be for them. If you and your sexual partner are planning to heat the atmosphere today, think about the things you need to feel the pleasure you deserve. 

Maybe it’s longer foreplay, maybe it’s more clit-game, or maybe you need a bit of a role play. Whatever it is, share it with your partner and get yourself that orgasm you deserve!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Podcast On Romantic Relationship  [BEN NOSE NOTHING]

Podcast On Romantic Relationship  [BEN NOSE NOTHING]

 

Podcast on romantic relationships ! If you haven’t seen episode 1 that Amanda and Ben did together – check it out!

The sex healer on Ben knows nothing discussing romantic relationships on the podcast.

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health. Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 AM EST

 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Anger After Sex & 5 Ways To Cope With It

Anger After Sex & 5 Ways To Cope With It

Have you ever experienced anxiety, sadness or anger after sex? As much as it sounds unusual, this is a pretty common condition that might happen to anybody. However, if it only happened once or twice while having sex with your partner, it’s quite different than when it starts happening frequently. The name behind this condition when a person gets sad or angry after sex with their partner is postcoital dysphoria or PCD.

Before talking about the best ways to cope with anger after sex, let’s take a look at what is postcoital dysphoria and how to know if you have it. 

Postcoital Dysphoria

If you’re feeling sad or angry after having consensual sex with your partner, you might have postcoital dysphoria or PCD. Another way to refer to this condition is having ‘post-sex blues’. 

Most people describe it as experiencing one or more negative feelings after having wanted sex. This means that their condition before sex was quite different from the one they end up with after the intercourse. This feeling doesn’t have to be only anger, a person can also experience sadness, anxiety, agitation and depression. 

Keep in mind that postcoital dysphoria differs from sexual dysfunctions as they refer to the stage of before or during sexual activity. People who experience PCD tend to feel melancholic, irritated or depressed after sex. Postcoital dysphoria can also happen after the person has had enjoyed the sex and had an orgasm. Although it occurs more in women, it can happen to both men and women. 

PCD Symptoms & Causes

There are various symptoms a person with postcoital dysphoria can experience. Here are some of the most common ones:

  • Irritability
  • Tearfulness
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety 
  • Depression
  • Unsatisfaction

What’s important to say is that postcoital dysphoria only refers to negative feelings after consensual sex that the person has actually enjoyed. It definitely doesn’t refer to assaults or forced sexual activities. 

Many factors can lead to postcoital dysphoria, and the majority of them are of physical or emotional nature. 

Abuse

If a person experienced sexual abuse in their childhood, it means they might be more at risk for PCD. As a victim of sexual abuse, a person might have difficulties enjoying their own sexuality and connect with their partner on that level. Even if many years have passed, a person can develop postcoital dysphoria later in life. 

Resentment

A victim of sexual abuse might feel resentful toward sex or any sexual experience they had. The feeling of not having complete control over these experiences can cause anxiety and create resentment which then shows after the sex. 

Anxiety

Any childhood trauma might lead to anxiety and depression, and one of the most vulnerable parts of our identity is usually our sexuality. So, having mental health conditions can make it almost impossible for you to take pleasure in the act of sex. 

Postnatal Depression

After pregnancy‌, a woman will still experience hormonal fluctuations which might lead to postnatal depression. Also known as postpartum depression, this type of depression occurs shortly after the person gives birth. Similar to anxiety, postnatal depression can make a woman feel really sad after sex she truly enjoyed.

5 Ways to Cope With Anger After Sex

If any of this sounds familiar to you, what can you do to manage the anger you feel after sex? Take a look at the best ways to cope with postcoital dysphoria and soon, you will be able to enjoy the sex with your partner.

#1 Focus on breathing.

With anything that makes us feel uncomfortable, breathing should usually make it a bit better. So, if you and your partner have just had great sex and anger start kicking in, try recentering and focusing back on your body and simply breathing while doing so. Being present in the moment will help you lower the anger and remove your focus from it until it disappears. 

#2 Communicate during sex.

Make sure you let your partner know if something makes you feel uncomfortable or angry. Don’t ignore it thinking it will go away because it won’t. You don’t have to start a deep conversation during sex, just take control over how you are feeling and ask for what you need. 

#3 Share it with your partner.

If your partner is aware of what you are going through, it will be easier for them to support you. Have an honest conversation on what happens and how you feel during and after sex. This will help your partner to also give you want you might need without you asking it. For instance, they will give you more control in bed or they will be more gentle instead of just fulfilling their needs.

#4 Clarify when you want to have sex.

As much as it’s important to communicate with your partner about the anger you feel after sex, you will need to have that conversation with yourself as well. After all, you are the only person that can change the situation when you start feeling uncomfortable. So, think about when you feel motivated to have sex and always focus on your feelings before initiating it. Think about what causes this anger and find an alternative solution for it. 

#5 Cuddle after sex.

The majority of the postcoital dysphoria causes are from childhood traumas. Not having a caring, gentle component, sex can seem to an abuse victim as something unpleasant. So, suggest to your partner that each time after sex, you stay in bed and cuddle. This will help you feel protected, loved and secured in the arms of a person you love. You can also share intimate moments like this more even when you’re not having sex as it improves intimacy and brings you closer. 

Feeling anger after sex is not untreatable. However, if you and your partner aren’t able to solve it on your own, it would be a good idea to see a therapist who might have a better idea of how you should cope with this. Maybe the causes of your postcoital dysphoria are not what you are assuming and you will need the help of a professional to finally start enjoying sex with your partner. Once you find us what’s causing the anger, the way how you feel about sex and intimacy will change completely as well!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do