Natural Male Enhancement

Natural Male Enhancement

Natural Male Enhancement

 

When did the obsession over penis size start? I mean, if you take a trip to Rome, you’ll see row after row of statues with a beautiful muscular physique. Draft your eyes a bit lower, though, and you see some pretty small penises. Some say small penises were idealized then. It wasn’t too long ago, so why the shift?

These days, from grade school locker rooms to professional pornography shoots, people look at and talk about penis size. Now it’s a huge part of sex culture. People with penises silently judge themselves based on their “size”. It’s not their defining trait, but it’s certainly on the mind.

Sure, if you’ve got an average-sized package, you’re always looking for a bit of an edge. Maybe in the right lighting, whoever’s looking at your waist region will look fantastic after a nice night out. Additionally, a few compliments from partners or casual hookups on your size are enough to never make you worry about it again.

There are, though, people who struggle over their penis size. They worry about what impression it makes and how it affects sexual performance. There’s so much emphasis on large penises these days, that it’s easy to get trapped into self-consciousness if you feel like you’re smaller than average.

The good news is that you can help enhance your penis naturally by taking a few steps. It’s not going to take you from four inches to twelve, but natural male enhancement works. What’s best? It will make you feel better about yourself and more confident in dealing with intimate situations.

 

Stop Smoking

This is not a joke. Smoking can shrink your penis size. Unfortunately, sometimes smokers suffer from permanent penis shrinkage that cannot always be reversed.

It’s a small minority of smokers, yet any chance is reason enough not to do so. Especially when you think about all the other reasons not to smoke cigarettes.

When you smoke, it affects blood vessels in the body, including the penis. 

When the blood flow is impaired, it prevents the penis from stretching and filling with blood during an erection. 

Not only could you suffer a frustrating episode right before sex, but it also affects your ability to maintain an erection. That’s bad news for you and could be bad news for whoever you’re having sexual interactions with. 

After you’ve stopped smoking, not only will you notice a difference in your size and the ability to get and maintain an erection; you’ll feel better overall! It may be a worthwhile goal for any of you still smoking!

 

Try to Lose Some Weight

If you’re overweight, excess fat may restrict blood flow inside blood vessels as well. Of course, consult your doctor whenever you attempt to lose weight. Some people don’t have the weight to lose!

There are ways you should go about losing weight that make it healthy, so find what works for your overall lifestyle.

Losing weight can be great for your overall health if you are on the heavier side, and it can bring some positive news for your penis!

Proportions matter, right? 

When you have excess weight above the waist, it can make your penis look small in comparison. Certainly, even a large penis can look small on a large person. 

When you lose weight, some of the fat on the pubic bone disappears, leaving more room for your penis to shine. 

Fun Fact - your penis also extends back into your body. Losing excess fat from your waist and pelvis will reveal more of your penis root and allow for greater sensation and deeper penetration during sex.

 

Take Inventory of When You Feel the Firmest and Hardest

Enhancement isn’t just about size all the time. The great thing about penises is that they get bigger when you need them to! Natural enhancement deals also with getting better, harder, and longer erections. 

Hormones feed erections. In bodies with penises, testosterone feeds your ability to get and keep an erection. Higher levels of testosterone mean you become aroused more frequently and easily. 

Lower testosterone equates to lower sex drive, among other negative symptoms. 

Hormone levels change regularly. They shift when you’re in different physical shapes, based on your diet, the time of day, your age, and other factors.

One thing you can do for natural penis enhancement is to understand your body and take stock of what’s going on when you have a great erection. 

Natural Male EnhancementDon’t just say that you get a great erection because you’re about to make love to someone very attractive. Is your erection better in the morning? Is it more firm at night? How are your erections after one drink? After four? What about after you smoke? What about if you don’t sleep well?

Notice the patterns in your erections. When you can zero in on what makes your erection great, then you can get started working on creating those conditions over and over.

 

Try Some Ginseng for Performance Enhancement

Let’s just get this out of the way. Sometimes it’s hard to get or hold an erection. 

People with penises all over the world have dealt with this. It can be embarrassing, especially when you’re eager to impress, and let’s just admit that it’s a fact of life, and normalize this!

Chronic erectile dysfunction may need attention from a physician. Sometimes chronic erectile dysfunction is a sign of something else! 

Sometimes people experience more difficulty getting and staying hard based on age and other factors. 

Ginseng is one thing you can try to overcome erection challenges!

Red ginseng is a traditional Korean herbal remedy that’s long been used overseas to treat several conditions. 

Recently, it’s made its way into the United States because of its ability to help with erectile dysfunction. The science behind red ginseng is still being researched. Our favorite types are Herb Pharm Asian (Panex) Ginseng Tincture or Pure Encapsulations Panex Ginseng. 

However, Ginseng is believed to increase levels of nitric oxide in the blood which can improve blood flow and help you get a better erection faster.

In 2008, the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology published a review that pointed to red ginseng as improving ED in multiple studies. Since then, more and more people with penises struggling with ED have benefitted from taking ginseng. I have seen it in my practice numerous times!

 

Work with What You’ve Got

You need to recognize that, without surgery, there’s only so much you can do. 

Every natural enhancement can marginally improve your erections and the size of your penis. 

When added up together, however, they can make a massive difference! 

You’ll feel great and your partners will start to take notice.

Love the skin, and penis you are in, and know what you can and cannot do to help!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Tantric Sex Therapist

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

 

Tantric sex therapy can be a life-changing form of counseling that can alter the course of your intimacy and loving relationships. 

People involved in tantra are deeply curious about the exploration of sex, taking it from something that at times can seem simple, transforming it into a deeper, more meaningful experience.

For a lot of people, sex is an activity about the release. People treat it like it’s a primal urge that serves to reduce tension and experience a fleeting moment of pleasure. 

It becomes routine, a “weekend-only” appointment between couples. With the stress of daily life hovering over us constantly, pressure enters the bedroom, and sex suffers.

Tantric sex therapy can help you become more in tune with your mind and body, allowing you to connect physically and emotionally during sex. It elevates the sexual connection you have with yourself and your partner.

 

Meeting with a Tantric Sex Therapist

First of all, here’s what you need to know about tantric sex therapists. They’ve dedicated at least hundreds of hours to learning their practice and working under the supervision of licensed therapists and trainers. 

 

To become certified, they have to meet stringent requirements laid out by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

This involved earning an advanced clinical degree and extensive clinical experience.

When you first meet with a tantric sex therapist, there will be a feeling-out process. 

They’ll want to know your motivations for undertaking tantra sex therapy and try to understand where you are currently emotionally and as a lover. 

Remember, sex therapy is a process of exploration meant to help you become a better lover and ultimately experience sex and life in a more positive way.

Additionally, seeing a sex therapist isn’t just about learning how to give a better blow job or engage in lengthier foreplay. 

Licensed clinicians can help you if you’re dealing with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other challenges. It’s a process designed for sexual healing and sexual pleasure.

 

Somatic Sexology in Therapy Sessions

Some AASECT-Certified Sex Therapists have other practitioners who weave somatic experiencing and tantra in their practice with clients. 

Somatic sexology is a more embodied form of sex therapy that is designed to improve the connection between mind and body pertaining to sex and intimacy.

Many people, for a number of reasons including religious backgrounds, cultural norms, trauma, and other personal history have trouble connecting pleasure with bodily sensations. 

They are disconnected from their own bodies, and as a result, can recoil or resist sexual pleasure. 

 

It’s hard for them to relax during sex, which prevents them from connecting with themselves or their partners. 

This can lead to complications trying to achieve orgasm and frustrations in intimate relationships.

A tantric sex therapist focuses on the power of breath, sound, and movement to help you or a loved one overcome difficulties relaxing and engaging sexually.

 

Breath

Breath is an often-overlooked factor in sexual health. Many people, over the course of a sexual encounter, will hold their breath or breathe too rapidly. Tantric Sex Therapist

When this happens, the body can interpret the stress as dangerous, and begin to tense up. Improper breathing makes orgasming harder and will disrupt the flow of sexual connection.

A tantric sex therapist can help you understand how your breathing is affecting your sexual life. They can give you breathing techniques that will help you relax and gain greater control over your body. 

 

Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Sound

Sound therapy is another way a tantric sex therapist can help you destress and engage more consciously.

 

Therapists use calming music, white noise, and other sounds to help you relax and center your mind and body. 

 

Think about the sounds you hear during sex and what kind of response they trigger. If you’re a parent, the sound of crying or bullying can destroy any sexual desire. 

Likewise, if the TV is on, radio, or other kinds of music and noise that detract from the experience.

Therapists help use sound to improve your sexual mood. They can also help you understand how different words or speech can elicit positive or negative sexual responses. 

That’s great news for partners who struggle with what to say to turn you on.

 

Movement

The final component of Tantra is using movement and sexual positions to enhance or highlight pleasure and arousal. It helps you become more comfortable with intimate touch. 

The techniques will improve nonverbal communication between you and your partner and help you achieve sexual breakthroughs.

Learning new positions and how to move can also help you orgasm more easily. They can even be longer-lasting and more intense. 

People who practice tantric sex frequently experience full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.

 

Tantric Sex for Mind-Body Alignment

Tantric sex therapy helps increase the mind-body connection in those who are open to sexual exploration. Good therapists know that everyone starts their sexual journey from different points. 

People who experience roadblocks to feeling comfortable with physical touch will need different suggestions than those looking for better orgasms. 

Tantric sex therapists will work with you to have better, more meaningful sex wherever you are.

Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut! 

Learning about and practicing simple tantric sex exercises are fun and a great way to grow a sexual connection between you and your partner. 

What’s even more fun is that the more you practice, the better you become. As you master the breathing, sound, and movement techniques, your sexual experiences will be more fulfilling. When the sex is great, it can be hard to complain about anything else.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.


Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

 

For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl

 

Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.

 

Check out her website!

 

Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 - 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.

 

More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 

 

Benefits:

  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Christmas sex

Why Christmas Sex is So Good

Why Christmas Sex is So Good

 

Even when people get stressed with all of the parties, the family drama and everything else, Christmas sex is one hell of a way to blow off some steam.

Christmas is a fantastic time for sex. People are in great moods, there’s a romance in the air with all of the wonderful holiday tunes and is a great time for intimate gift giving.

If you’re like us, you start to get into the holiday spirit right as December rolls around. That way, you have more fun to enjoy everything there is to love about Christmas and all the other winter holidays.

But this is a blog about intimacy, right? What’s that got to do with Christmas and feeling some holiday cheer. Well, we’re here to tell you that Christmas is a great time for love and holiday cheer shouldn’t be the only thing you’re feeling this month.

Here are some of the best reasons why Christmas sex is so good.

 

There’s Something in the Air

Unless you’re a total scrooge, you probably love the end of year holidays. As we move through December and into January, it’s a time of reflection about the year that has gone by. We feel gratitude for the people in our lives who mean so much, and we start planning how we’re going to take over in 2020.

Christmas Sex

One of the absolute best ways to show someone you care is to capitalize on the nostalgia and romance in the air with some amazing sex. If you’re in a committed relationship, Christmas sex can be about deep connections.

If you’re single, just know that other people are feeling the same draw to people around them that you are. There’s never a better time to shoot your shot. Take a chance and ask out your secret crush or that person you’ve noticed you have incredible chemistry with. You never know, you could soon be having some of the best Christmas sex of your life.

The holidays are all about showing love and receiving love. Make sure to show that special someone in your life how much you love them this Christmas.

 

Christmas Sex is Better than Yoga

Ok, so this might depend on if you LOVE yoga, but Christmas sex is one of the best stress relievers out there. When you get wound up with all the celebrating, driving, gift buying, and other activities, lock the doors so you and your partner can get a healthy sweat in. 

It’s easy for some people to get overwhelmed during Christmas. A lot is going on. Just remember to make time for yourself and your partner. Don’t neglect intimacy because you’ve got a million things on your to-do list.

Making Christmas sex a priority can turn into some of the best sex of your life! With so much built-up tension, it’s bound to play out in the bedroom or wherever you decide to let it all out. Focus the stress and channel it into the passion between you and your lover.

 

Giving Gifts in Private can be More Fun

Giving presents is one of the best perks of the holiday season. Not only is it fun to splurge a bit for the people you love, but it’s a great way to show family and friends how much you care.

Christmas is also the perfect time to give your partner something a bit spicier. When all the presents in the living room are opened, take your special someone aside and give them a gift for both of you. 

Sexy Gifts

Here are some naughty gift ideas:

  • Lingerie
  • A stack of cards that can be turned in for sexual favors
  • High-end massage oils
  • A weekend getaway without the kids
  • A vibrator or some other sex toy

Whether it’s a vibrator or some fancy handcuffs, it’ll send a clear message that you want to keep things steamy. Remember, these gifts are really for two. Hopefully, you’ll find yourself in some crazy Christmas sex before too long.

 

The Kids are Preoccupied

If you have small kids, it’s hard to find time for sex. Even older kids can make love making tough. They likely know what locked doors and noises coming from the bedroom mean. With kids, a lot of couples find that sex becomes a routine. It’s something that can only happen after kids’ teeth have been brushed and bedtime is over.

When it’s Christmas, though, you have a shot at spontaneous sex that you probably haven’t had all year. Kids are busy playing with toys, watching Christmas movies, or hanging out with friends while school is out. Don’t waste this precious opportunity! Have all the morning and afternoon sex you can. Do it in the dining room, in the laundry room, wherever.

Couples can capitalize on holiday distractions to have tremendous sex. Changing up the timing and the routine is sometimes all it takes to breathe new life into your sex life.

 

Keep It Hot Indoors While It’s Snowing Outside

In a lot of places, it’s freezing at Christmas. People are stuck indoors because it’s brutal outside. Sometimes people complain that winters are rough because they can get out and run, the days are shorter because the sun’s up less, and as a result, people can get a bit melancholy.

Christmas Sex

Use Christmas sex to beat back the winter blues. If you’re lucky enough to have a fireplace, get a fire going and set the mood. Pour some wine and turn on some music. Get close to your partner and make it happen.

Listen, there’s a reason September is the most popular birth month. In a 2017 Time article, it said that researchers at Harvard University found that between 1973 and 1999, the most common birthday was September 16. 

Yep, you guessed it, that’s nine months after Christmas

People love Christmas sex so much they’ve been using the holidays to make babies for decades.

When it’s cold outside and you feel a bit bored, there’s nothing better than some amazing Christmas sex to get you feeling right.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Oral Sex for Woman

The Art of Oral Sex For Women or Those With Vulvas

The Art of Oral Sex For Women or Those With Vulvas

 

Some individals seem concerned when performing oral sex for women or on those with vulvas! 

Can you imagine how successfully brainwashed we are that we believe there is something extra dirty or wrong with them, simply because they are internal. 

Most women who perform oral sex on women report that they love to give it. 

Oral Sex For Woman

Yet, many discuss how difficult it is for those who are raised as girls to be patient in a world of consumerism and productivity. 

In the past ten years of therapy, I have heard thousands of stories where individuals of all socioeconomic backgrounds, race, ethnicities, education levels, socioeconomic status, and ability were telling me that their is something incredibly taboo about providing oral sex on the labia.

I have been blessed with wonderful sexual education thanks to Betty Dodson and my professor, Jim Moorhead. 

 

Educate Yourself! 

If you ever feel that your labia isn’t normal, I suggest looking at a variety of lips

If you are concerned about the smell of your genitals, remember that many people enjoy the scent of sexual organs.

Your feelings of disgust or shame around your bits may just be conditioning of society, family, your religion, or your limited exposure to the world of pleasure. 

Go under the feels of “yuck” and see if there is any part of you that can show up and receive the compliment or the gift of pleasure. 

 

Discuss Which One of Your 6 Need Is Being Met! 

Oral Sex For Woman

Examples: 

::ask your sexual partner PRIOR to giving or receiving oral sex, so that your mind can relax:: 

Can you tell me  like how it looks and how it smells. 

Validation from a partner is probably more helpful than anything you can read in my blog! 

If both of you are concerned with genital odors, try to incorporate a shower as part of the foreplay and aftercare (and, if there is a “significant odor,” and you have the privilege of affording healthcare, go to a trusted ob-gyn or a local Planned Parenthood to get checked for bacterial vaginosis).

While going down on your partner or giving oral sex, make sure you ask your partner what feels good. 

  • Get an idea of the pressure that works, the spot that is most sensitive, and what does not feel good. 
  • Make sure as the giver and the receiver, that your body is in a comfortable position. 
  • If you need to move your partner, then do so. 
  • If you have long hair, tie it out of your face. 
  • Kneel along the side of the bed if you have to. You CAN find ways to incorporate this for all body shapes and abilities. 

 

Check in Again With Your Partner Before Going In and Touching Them.

Reassure them of what mental state you are in, what your desires are, what your needs are. 

Discuss in feelings, needs, and utilizing parts cards if possible! 

Note to everyone involved, as you can receive oral sex from multiple partners at one time. 

Be sure that you are not focusing on what you look like and focus on your pleasure receiving, or you are focused on your partner’s experience while giving. 

Give positive feedback to your partner about how you are enjoying this experience. 

Verbally, with sounds, with smiles! Ask if they like dirty talk, talk about fantasies, if they want a different type of sensual touch instead of just the oral touch of mouth to vulva. 

Communicate and experiment with an open mind. The brain is the most important organ in sexual pleasure!

If You Are Nervous As The Receiver, Here Are Some Mantras To Practice: 

 

  •   I let myself to experience pleasure;
  •   I allow my sexual selves to appear;
  •   I am worthy of sexual satisfaction and connection;
  •   I am opening my life to positive sexual experiences;
  •   I feel seen in my expression of sexuality;
  •   The more I experience my own understanding of my inner parts, the more I can communicate and direct my language to the part my partner is requesting of me. 

Receiving oral sex is about the sensual art of receiving, accepting, creating, exploring, releasing, and intuitiveness. 

 

How and When To Talk To Your Partner About Changing Their Oral Sex Technique 

female anatomy

There is no “magic way” to be comfortable with the words coming out of your mouth so that your partner may hear of judge you based on what you said about sexuality. 

What I can say is that the more your practice and acknowledge that it may be uncomfortable or difficult to talk about, the more confident you can get in this type of intimate compassionate communication and conversation style. 

One partner may be more willing to engage in conversations around sex than the other, which is actually normal! 

 

Quick Tips To Address In The Moment:

  • If your partner is not hitting the right spot on your clit or is missing your clit entirely, you can say things like, “Up a little” or “To the right a little.”
  • You can adjust your body so you are in the right position. Partners, please note that if a woman adjusts her body while you are touching her, do not move your hand or mouth. Ask if she is squirming with pleasure or if she wants to move. 
  • When your partner does hit the right spot, provide positive reinforcement, like, “YES!” or “It feels so good. Stay right there,” or “YAY! This is amazing. Keep doing that.”

 

Communicating during a Sexual Encounter:

Old Way: “Stop. You always try to have sex with me too quickly.”

New Way: “It would be so hot if you touched me gently right now. I like when you tease me a little bit more before you touch my clit.”

 

Communicating outside of a Sexual  Encounter:

Old Way:  “It hurts when you have sex with me.”

New Way: “Our sex is great, and sometimes it hurts. Can we add more foreplay and lubricant before we have sex? I think if we focused on 20 minutes of body pleasure prior to penetrative sex, I could physically be engaged more. Is that of interest to you?”

You can get more free content on oral sex for woman, relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

 

You’ve either seen it or done it, so you know why doggy style sex is such a popular position.

Doggy style sex has sat near or at the top of the sexual chart for years because it’s a delicious play on dominance and submission.

The greater freedom of movement provides ample opportunity for a killer view from behind and access for the bottom to receive either clitoral stimulation or masturbation of the shaft from the front. 

It isn’t just a “static” position either! There are a bunch of hot variations to play around with when you try this one. 

 

Doggy Style Sex is Versatile!

Basic Doggy style sex involves one partner on their hands and knees while the other partner enters from behind them. 

You can switch it up a bit by kneeling on the edge of the bed or a couch while your partner stands upright behind you or lay completely flat. 

Doggy Style Sex
Picture (From Getty)

You can angle your back and your butt up sharply, giving your partner different angles, or even control the rhythm yourself while they remain still.

Doggy style is also perfect for people who love anal sex or are just trying it for the first time

In doggy style, it’s easier to focus on penetration solely, instead of having to worry about someone’s body weight on top of you. 

Controlling your breathing and relaxing your muscles comes more naturally in the position.

 

Tips for the Bottoms in Doggy Style Sex

It’s easy to think that all you have to do is hold tight and keep the position when you’re having doggy style sex. That, however, is far from true! 

While, most of the work can come from the on-top partner, there is still a bunch you can do to make the sex incredible.

Here are some great ways to make doggy more fun for you and a blast for your partner:

 

Self-Stimulation

Doggy is great for clitoral stimulation or for jerking off the penis because you can access one of your hands for pleasure. 

Since nobody is squashed on top of you, your hands have free access to your genitals! While your partner is having a blast behind you, you can have some fun as you self-pleasure.

 

Change It Up

The way you angle your back and hips is going to completely alter the angle of penetration.

That will bring with it a bunch of different sensations that are hard to get in other positions. Trust us, your partner will love it too.

 

Submission as Empowered

Yes, some people like doggy style sex MORE because they enjoy feeling submissive during sex at times. 

However, for many, doggy style sex is a playful way to mix up the routine. Whether you want to lift yourself up by holding on to a bed frame or want your partner to stay still while you control how fast penetration goes in and out, there’s plenty for you to do.

 

Let Your Partner Know

There’s a lot you can do communication-wise during doggy style sex. You can turn your head to catch your partner’s eye or verbalize what you’d like them to do behind you. 

Let them know how your self-pleasure feels, and sometimes you can ask for a playful spank or hair pull to spice things up.

 

Now for the Tops – Here’s What to Do in Doggy Style Sex

Doggy Style Sex
Artist: EMILY SCHIFF-SLATER

When you are the partner in the back, you’re steering the ship. 

You have a bird’s eye view of what’s happening, and, hey, we know how much fun you’re having! 

Here are some hints on what you can do to make doggy style sex more fun for both of you.

 

Change Positions within the Positions

When you’re in doggy position, mix things up by lifting a leg and planting a foot down. 

With one knee down and one knee up, you’ll have better hip control for thrusting. You can lean into your partner or back away, changing how you’re entering for different sensations.

 

Move Your Legs Outside of Your Partner’s

Usually, doggy style sex involves the person behind’s legs being positioned on the inside. The partner on their hands and knees spread their legs, so their knees are naturally outside.

However, you can change it up and move your knees outside of your partner’s for a closer, tighter feel. It’s a matter of personal preference, and it is fun to try out! . 

 

Try a Bit of Consensual D/s Play

Be careful here, because not everyone is into submissive-dominant sex play.

You have to ask for enthusiastic consent.

If it isn’t a hell yes, assume it is a no! 

-Amanda Pasciucco

Experiment with some hair tugging, light back-scratching, spanking, and other forms of rough play to make things super hot.

 

Hands on the Hips or Shoulders

When you’re behind your partner, place both hands around their hips and pull them back into you as you thrust for deeper penetration.

If you can (some women topping with strap-ons report that they cannot), reach for the shoulders of the person who is bottoming. That will give you leverage. 

 

Clitoral Stimulation or Manual Masturbation

If your partner is willing to let you try, reach around and help them out with some genital stimulation. I personally believe it is best to let the bottom do this because it is a lot of coordination. However, if you can and they want you to try, go for it!

 

Other Fun Ideas for Doggy Style Sex

 

Now you have the basics and hopefully some ideas to play with for your next round of doggy. 

There’s still a lot more you can do with the position to keep exploring each other sexually.

 

For the partner in the front, try putting one or two pillows under your hips and stomach. You can lay down on them and your partner will still get a great angle from behind. 

They can grab onto the pillows and pull them close during each thrust without yanking you around too hard.

 

If you’re open to it, introduce some light BDSM with some handcuffs and let your partner take full charge of doggy style sex. 

Keep in mind that whenever you start with BDSM, you need to be clear about boundaries, so everyone feels comfortable. Again, if it isn’t a hell yes, assume a no! 

 

Doggy style sex has become incredibly popular, so much so that there are even names for varying positions within the doggy style position. 

When you have some time, explore more about what you can do with doggy style sex to make sexual intercourse hotter with lots of incredible pleasure!

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Male Masturbation Techniques

Sex Therapist Secret Male Masturbation Techniques Revealed!

Sex Therapist Secret Male Masturbation Techniques Revealed!

 

What are your favorite male masturbation techniques?

Mine is edging, and I am going to teach you how to get longer, and stronger orgasms.

Male Masturbation Techniques

It’s time to take control back of your member!

A brief introduction into a variety of male masturbation techniques encourages conscious self-pleasuring.

In recent years, there has been a new term that has entered the sexual lexicon - a favorite one of my male masturbation techniques, according to internet research.

“Edging” is the practice of extending and intensifying the period of sexual stimulation and pleasure by delaying orgasm, specifically ejaculation.

DISCLAIMER: For the sake of brevity rather than priority, we will be limiting our conversation to humans with external genitals in the context of “male” sexuality. Please email us if you want more on masturbation techniques across the binary!

Masturbation is Good for You!

Self-pleasure is an excellent way of providing for your own needs! It is fun, self-soothing, and feels good.

Most men stumble onto this natural wonderment in puberty and joyfully or shamefully retreat to the privacy of their room and their receptive sweat socks and lotion bottles with great regularity.

No harm, no foul! 

As young men mature, so do their sexual and emotional needs, and many begin to seek out intensifying factors such as porn; and occasionally other fetishistic behaviors, like self-bondage, panty-sniffing and about a million other things, including edging. 

These patterns will certainly shape the sexual behavior and preferences for the rest of his life, occasionally in unpleasant ways. 

Male Masturbation Techniques

Masturbation is powerful in its potential to “program” our sexual behavior.

Here is where edging can be beneficial to our sexual performance when we add a partner into the mix.

Often, there is shame associated with ejaculation before your partner is ready for it. 

This shame is not helpful, so I’ll bypass the tropes and point out that, generally speaking, the ability to control orgasm and ejaculation is considered a desirable trait in a male lover, and the lack thereof would be high on the list of frustrations by people who find sex with their partners unfulfilling.

A good start is to not ejaculate until you have been masturbating for at least 20 minutes. 

This will help you develop the ability to sense and delay the onset of ejaculation with pacing, a good second step is to not allow yourself to ever stop masturbating, but rather slow down and speed up to gain even greater control. 

At more advanced levels, this will help you to develop the muscles required to delay ejaculation and maintain a firm erection even when pleasure increases or is momentarily interrupted.

There are even videos on Pornhub to assist you in this practice. 

In my opinion, most of them are too short, but they may be helpful to you (search JOI or edging challenge)! Some even have a guide sound or visual to require you to stroke at a certain intensity.

Hopefully your solitary practice of edging will benefit your sexual relations as well!

Male Masturbation Techniques

Wouldn’t it be nice to know going into a sexual encounter that you have perfect control of your own orgasm and will be able to please your partner with a mutually satisfactory experience without anxiety over orgasming too soon or that awkward feeling of being “done” when your partner is still raring to go?

So far, we have only spoken of this as a means to an end, and it can be helpful that way; however, edging with a partner can be a wonderful experience. 

It can be done as pure hedonism or with with an edge of power exchange where control of orgasm and prolonging of pleasure becomes kind of a game. 

In porn, it seems to be popular when combined with humiliation play or bondage and “ruined orgasm” videos abound where a man is made to edge over several days, or weeks even, and is then stimulated to the point of orgasm and then stimulation stops just at the onset of orgasm. 

It seems mean, but the guys don’t seem to mind - LOL.

The increased volume of semen that is often a result of edging is also a factor for some people as is the increased “horniness” that prolonged edging over days or weeks can cause. 

There are many reasons to give all of these considerations a try in your self-pleasure practice.

Have fun with your new Male Masturbation Techniques!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

 Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

 LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Best Sexy Gifts

Holiday Shopping! What are the Best Sexy Gifts to Buy Your Partner?

Holiday Shopping! What are the Best Sexy Gifts to Buy Your Partner?

 

You know it, the holidays are around the corner and its time to give the best sexy gifts for the ultimate night of seduction!

We are about to be stressing about what to buy for that special someone in our lives. If you’ve been together for a while, it’s hard to come up with the best sexy gift ideas. Instead of buying what we want, let's get partner gifts that keeps on giving!

So, what do you do when you don’t want to give your partner a gift card or a pair of socks? Thankfully, you’ve come to the right place! This year is the year when you should spice things up and buy a scintillating, sexy gift.

Stick the standard gifts under the tree and save a couple of the presents off this list for when you’re alone. Your partner will love the message it sends, and, hey, it’s really a present for the ultimate night of seduction!

 

Here are Some of the Best Sexy Gifts for your Lover! 

 

Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace

Best Sexy Gifts
Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace From LOVECRAVE.COM

Even though the Crave Vesper necklace has a beautiful, subtle design, there’s nothing subtle about your intentions when you give this to your partner.

The Vesper is something your partner can keep at home for intimate moments or wear out at night if you guys are feeling a little risqué. 

The necklace is made of high-polish stainless steel that comes in silver, gold and rose gold. 

It starts from $69 and has four different speed settings with two modes, quite impressive for something so small. You can personalize the vibrator with a special message, so she’ll think of you every time she puts it to good use.

 

Egyptian Cotton Bed Sheets

Best Sexy Gifts
Egyptian Cotton Bed Sheets from NYMAG.COM

If you and your partner aren’t at the “buy your partner a vibrator” stage, you can go for something a bit tamer like Egyptian cotton bed sheets.

Whenever you’ve laid on the bed in a high-end hotel, you’ve noticed how smooth and crisp quality sheets feel. Too many people neglect their beds even though it’s where we spend most of our time. Buying real Egyptian quality sheets will make a huge difference in how your partner will feel lying in bed to sleep or while making love.

Be careful while you’re shopping to buy 100% certified Egyptian cotton. Quality sheets vary in price, but you should expect to pay around $200-$300 for a nice set of queen or king sheets.

The smooth, silky feel of Egyptian cotton absorbs body moisture and regulate temperatures, so whatever you do in bed will feel a ton better.

 

Barbell by Betty Dodson

Best Sexy GiftsDr. Betty Dodson has spent years studying women’s sexual health issues, and the Betty Dodson Barbell is a revolutionary product that helps build pelvic muscle strength.

 

Everyone wants their partner to have a better time during sex, correct? Well, with stronger pelvic muscles, women experience more intense orgasms. It sounds like a pretty good investment. In addition to helping with sex, the Barbell increases pelvic floor control and overall vaginal health.

 

The Barbell is just under seven inches long, so it’s discreet. Make sure your partner reads up on how to use it so she gets the most out of it. There’s nothing more sexy than a woman confident in her sexuality, and the Barbell will help her feel like she’s got more control over her body.

 

Leather Cuffs, Chokers, and Other Toys

Add some kink into your relationship by getting your partner some leather cuffs or some similar toy for the bedroom. We’ve all been at points in our sex lives where things can get a bit routine. 

From B&M's Mart

You’ve seen how your partner reacts when you wear something different or try something new, so you know these sexy gifts work.

Thankfully, the sex industry has come a long way and people have much more open attitudes about things like light bondage play. Let your fantasies play out with your bedroom by taking turns with dominance and submission. Buying a gift like an elegant choker or stylish leather cuffs is a great signal to your partner you’re ready to spice things up.

If you’ve never done anything like this, the best thing about buying something light like handcuffs is that you can gauge your partner’s reaction. Who knows, maybe they’re up for more and you can explore that part of their sexuality together. Double present win!

 

Anything from Agent Provocateur

Sexy Gifts
Amanda Pasciucco wearing the Kiki Kimono Black/Pink

Getting your partner anything from Agent Provocateur is always a great idea. Agent Provocateur is a high-end nightwear, lingerie, and accessory company that makes exquisite pieces. The site has a variety of gifts you can buy anything from stocking stuffers like lipstick to pricey, intricate lingerie pieces.

You can find something practical like a luxury bra or nightgown, or you can get steamy and pick up a corset and a garter.

They even have a “naughty styles” section on their site for presents you want to see your partner in by yourself.

 

Tazapper

Sexy Gifts
Thekinkshop.com

 

If you are interested in things getting a little kinkier and spicier, I would suggest the tazapper!

It can give you a little excitement this upcoming holiday season, as it is the only toy of its kind! Try it out and let us know your thoughts about all the buzz in an Electrifying Role Play!

 

Toys for Two

If you’re into toys and you want to get something nice for your partner, getting a set that works for both of you is a nice way to blow away any anxiety or awkwardness. 

You guys can even make a game of it with a pair of remote-controlled toys.

Each of you will have a ton of fun giving and receiving pleasure as you make love.

Whether it’s a multi-setting vibrator, a cock ring, a butt plug or some other fun toy, buying one for each of you sends the signal that you want in as well. 

He, she, or they will love that you’re in it together and the present will send the right message.

 

Gifts Laced with Desire

For the ultimate night of seduction, give a sexy gift because you want more intimacy with your partner. 

 

Sexy Gifts

Don’t laugh it off like it’s a gag gift! Do your best to give a sexy gift and be clear that your desires are sultry. 

Let your partner know you can’t wait to see them wear or use whatever it is you’re giving them. 

They’ll love the gift, and they’ll love why you gave it to them even more.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


How To Give A Blowjob

How to Give a Blowjob - A Mindblowing One!

How to Give a Blowjob - A Mindblowing One!

 

If you don’t know how to give a blowjob, or have ever been told you suck at it, worry no longer. 

Here are some of the most amazing secrets I have learned about blowjobs while studying sexuality over the last 12 years that will help you give a mindblowing blowjob! 

 

Have a Positive Mindset 

If you want to give your partner an awesome blowjob experience, you first have to commit to the process and be authentic in your desire to please your partner orally. 

Don’t just fake it until you make it. Find a part of you that can help you out mentally while in the process. 

Something like “I am giving the best blowjob” or “I am great at giving head.” 

Why? 

Because if you repeat “I am so bad at this” or “I hate this. This penis is gross,” it will translate into your blowjob technique. 

Make sure your mind knows that this is what you want to be doing. 

If you are not in this mindset, your oral skills won’t be up to par, so you may as well not even start. Mindset DOES matter. 

Some people get overwhelmed by the thought of giving a blowjob. They start to fear that it will hurt them or that they will get tired. 

This thought can stop you from even starting oral sex, but it shouldn’t. 

It is perfectly fine to tell your partner, “I am going down on you to start things off and then I want you inside of me.” 

This gives you the power to go down on your partner for as long as it is enjoyable, and then you can switch to something else. 

 

Be Prepared

Hydrate! Your mouth can’t be dry.

Stretch your neck - left and right. Hold for 10 seconds on each side. 

Open and close your jaw to prepare for penetration. 

For those of you with long hair, get a hair tie! Your hair will get in the way. 

Make sure you have lube in case you need it. 

Discuss what you will do if your partner ejaculates BEFORE the beginning of the blowjob. 

Make sure you discuss STIs prior to beginning oral sex. You can ask to use a condom over the penis if you want to protect from certain STIs. 

One other thing before you start, ask if any parts of the body are off limits. 

Ask if you have free reign to touch thighs, ass, anus, stomach, etc. before you begin giving a partner oral sex. 

Make sure your body is in a comfortable position while giving. 

If you need to move your partner or yourself at any time to get more comfortable, do it. People get injured and pull muscles giving blowjobs, because they are too embarrassed to ask their partner to move. 

 

Calibrate Your Touch

While giving a blowjob, make sure you ask what feels good. 

Get an idea of the pressure that works, the spot that is most sensitive for them, and the speed they are enjoying. 

Give positive feedback to your partner about how you are enjoying this experience. 

Giving positive feedback during any type of sex is always a good idea! 

 

Provide Visual Stimulation

When giving a blowjob, try to provide visual stimulation. 

Some angles, like 69 or queening, are often huge turn ons prior to beginning the blowjob or during it. 

If you can, cup your chest together and stroke his shaft up and down.

How To Give A Blowjob

Gently caress and touch his package with your hands and other parts of your body. 

Sometimes, wearing a certain outfit or performing a strip tease can enhance the blowjob moment. 

 

Perfect Your Stroke Technique

Saliva or lube? It depends!  If you are going to use lube, apply it at this point by putting some in your hands and stroking his shaft. 

When putting your mouth on a penis, be sure to use your lips and tongue to wet the area. Go up and down the shaft, kind of like a harmonica. 

Ask for input on desired speed, intensity, and pressure. 

No Vampires! Be careful of teeth and keep them away unless he asks for it. There are only a FEW cases where I have heard individuals enjoying the sensation of teeth. Most often, it is NOT wanted. 

If you want to try deepthroating, cover your teeth with your lips and try to fit the shaft in your mouth (without using your hands). 

Try to go as deep as you can without being uncomfortable or gagging. If you gag in the beginning, I have been told that it is attractive to some receivers of the blowjob. 

Assess your partner and ask if they are enjoying the deepthroating sensation. 

You do not have to suck on anything. You do not need to put ice or mints in your mouth! 

Remember… blowing does not have to be involved. 

 

Perfect Your Hand Techniques

Recalibrate together, and see if your receiver is interested in having your hand wrapped around their shaft. 

How to Give a Blowjob

If yes, move your hand directly under your mouth, creating a warm, wet space for the penis to go in and out of. 

Move your hand/mouth up and down and make sure you don’t create friction.

Ask the receiver if they enjoy testicles being played with, because you can use one hand to touch those. Feel free to lick them while playing if you have consent. 

I recommend starting out by touching the testicles, perineum, and anus, with a brush of your hand, and asking your partner “did you like that?” or “do you want me to do more?” 

Look up at your receiving partner once in a while to see if there is enjoyment. 

Ask about the pressure and speed. 

If you want to use your hands, which makes for an easier blowjob for the person giving, there are a couple different techniques to try that are often a success! 

“O”-Gasm: Make the sign-language letter “O” with your dominant hand and wrap your hand around their shaft. Use your hand as an extension of your mouth.

Slide it up and down the shaft; as your mouth moves, your hand moves. 

You can try different things with this move such as twisting your hand (one inch in either a clockwise or counterclockwise direction) down his shaft. 

Weave: Interlock both hands (palms facing one another) together at the fingers. Have the base of both your palms touching and let the shaft glide in between your hands. 

Double Hands: Another variation is to place one hand over the other one if needed for more pressure. 

Sometimes, those receiving the blowjob will put their hand on their shaft for you, to help you out. That is a blessing, because it helps you know what you are lacking. 

If needed, use more saliva or lube to ensure a pleasurable sensation.

 

Completion of The Blowjob

You can begin to use your tongue to flick under the head of the penis, the frenulum, which creates an instant sensation.

Pick up speed if you feel your partner’s muscles begin to tense. 

Usually, you will notice the leg muscles or stomach muscles begin to clench pre-ejaculation. 

Keep constant pressure and do not change technique at this moment. 

Continue stimulation until the agreed upon (discuss this before giving head) end of the blowjob or until your partner ejaculates.

In summary, giving a blowjob to ejaculation is kind of like riding a bike uphill. It is important to maintain a steady progression to the top. If you slow down, you may go backwards. 

Keep your speed and pressure consistent or increase it as you go. 

Ejaculation vs Orgasm - there are times that men do NOT ejaculate, yet they orgasm. When you have the feeling of energy surge through your entire body, that is an orgasm. Sometimes ejaculate happens at the same time. 

Pleasure is the goal. Orgasm is a great side-effect! Just like Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross say, “Better Orgasms. Better World!”

Now that you know how to give a blowjob, try out these techniques and let us know if you have any other suggestions to share. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

Check out our Text Therapy Program for QUICK ADVICE in time for the holidays! 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Anal Sex For Penetration

Anal Sex For Penetration

Anal Sex For Penetration

 

You can find Part One of our Two-Part Anal Sex Series here! In part one you will learn about:

  • Key Definitions
  • Preparation You Can Do on Your Own
  • Exercises

Please be mindful that I am not a physician and these are just suggestions. Consult with a physician before trying! 

Try this on your own and begin your own exploration of anal receiving. Do not try anal penetration with someone else first. You should be comfortable with your own body enough to know its signals so you will be ready when you are with someone else. 

 

Anal Sex Preparation Exercise 

Apply firm inward pressure with your finger against your anus, but do NOT penetrate the opening! 

Keep your finger tip pressed firmly against your anus and give a BRIEF GENTLE "push out" for 1 second, then stop. 

It is important that it be GENTLE and BRIEF when you “push out.” 

Keep your middle finger pressed firmly against the center of your anus. You will feel your sphincters change shape when you “push.” 

This is the voluntary ability you can apply to opening your anus. 

You will also feel your anus clinch up after you stop “pushing out.” 

 

Continue to “push out” for one second at a time, then rub your finger in a circle around your anus and return to the middle of the hole before "pushing out" again. 

Do this for 10 minutes, but do not penetrate. 

Pay close attention to the way your anal sphincters change shape in relation to your “pushing out” and how your anus begins to slightly open when you do.

It may feel odd at first to “push,” since you are used to only using this muscle action when expelling waste. It takes a moment or two before you are fully at ease with doing this under conditions not associated with defecation. 

However, it’s this physical action, the opening of your sphincter, which you’re trying to gain better control of for anal sex and anal penetration! 

If you clean yourself out properly before performing this exercise, you’ll be empty and shouldn’t worry about a mess. If you’re concerned, try to use the bathroom one more time.

After 10 minutes of short and gentle “pushing” motions, you may have a sense of control over your anus and it’s now time to penetrate with a finger. 

 

Deeper Anal Sex Penetration Exercise 

Lubricate your gloved finger again and place it directly over the anus. 

Apply slightly firmer pressure with your finger this time and give a gentle "push out" as you slide your finger into your anus. 

Keep “pushing out” as your finger slides into your anus. Once your finger passes through the sphincters as deeply as you can get it, stop “pushing out.” 

You will feel your anus grip down on your finger when you relax and stop “pushing.” 

If you “push out” again with your finger inside you, you’ll feel your anus loosen its grip around your finger.

 

GO SLOW!

Anal Sex Penetration

You can gently massage your finger into the anus by wiggling it back and forth as you push it in. 

Take time to feel inside and explore your sphincters. 

Curve your finger in a hook shape and you’ll feel your sphincters from the inside. 

At this point, your finger tip will be inside your rectum, which is beyond the anus. 

Note the sensation of gentle penetration your anus feels in relationship to the squeezing sensation on your finger. 

Pay attention to the control you have over your sphincters when you “push out” versus when you relax.

IMPORTANT! Anytime you slide your finger into or out of your anus, you should "push out" to open the sphincters. This will facilitate the least resistance during insertion or withdrawal of anything that penetrates your anus. 

Remove your finger and repeat this penetration exercise for another 10 minutes. 

This exercise can help you gain better control of your anus, which is the first step in learning to enjoy smooth and pleasant anal penetration! 

Thank you Fetlife Educator @HoleTrainer for your contribution to this piece and your wisdom. I am grateful that I was able to site your knowledge on this type of sex act!

 

Anal Sex with a Partner

Begin to do anal prepping for penetration together! This could be something you do with a partner to build up the mood and be part of the scene. 

When you are done prepping for hygiene, make sure you use fingers or a sex toy to prep the anus for penetration. 

It would be best if you used a toy that is similar in diameter to the penis that will be doing the penetration. 

Because the anus doesn’t lubricate like the vagina, use a bunch of lube - you will not regret it. Just like with vaginal sex, condoms are recommended. 

Prepare mentally: Make sure there is no time rush on your sexual encounter. Anal sex may take longer than regular sex, so it is best to begin by going slowly. 

Again, make sure you have plenty of lubricant. 

As the receiver of anal sex, you need to learn how to relax the muscles in the anus to enjoy the sensations.

 

The anus has two sets of sphincter muscles. Sometimes it is easier to relax the first set. 

When you push something into the anus, you need to be able to relax both sets of muscles or else you can encounter problems. 

Most people can relax the first set of muscles, and then when something gets inserted, the receiver will tense up and resist, preventing any further penetration. 

Hence why all the training in the beginning of this blog! 

At this point your partner may continue to force the object (be it a penis or a sex toy) into the anus. 

I recommend that you do not force anything into the anus, but instead take time and use patience while allowing the second set of sphincter muscles to relax as you become more comfortable.

 

Make sure that you pick a position that is comfortable in which you can control the speed on the penetration the first time you engage in anal sex. 

The spooning position and female on top helps the woman control the action. Missionary and doggie style sex work as well, yet some people report that these positions feel too aggressive. 

When you have anal sex, and it feels good, make sure you are vocal about what is enjoyable and what is too much. Tell your partner if they ought to go slower or change the pressure.

After anal sex is complete, it is important to discuss what went well and what didn’t. Spend extra time with one another to discuss the differences of anal sex instead of oral or genital penetration. 

There should not be any pain after anal sex if you have prepared and taken time to do it carefully. 

It is important to penetrate with condoms on until you are more advanced, because the condom with lube provides an easier insertion than a penis with no condom. There is a chance of infection without condoms as well, just like with any type of penetrative sex. 

When having anal sex, you must not go from the anus to the vaginal hole without changing up condoms or washing hands. 

Make sure that any penetration objects (finger, toy, penis) that go near the anus do not then go near the vagina. This can cause infections. 

If you penetrate the anus with a penis or a toy that is the same width as average stool, there should not be any problems. If you have pain after penetrative anal sex or have problems with stool, please see a physician. 

Anal sex is more common than you think and doctors hear about it often.

 

If you are comfortable with your physician, you can always ask them ahead of time the most safe way to practice penetrative anal sex, since your physician knows your physical health more than we could! 

You can get more content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.