Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

 

If you’re in your 70s or are simply wondering, ‘Can a 70-year-old woman be sexually active?’, we have an answer to your question. However, it’s important to keep in mind that sexual activity depends on several factors, such as an overall health condition, libido, and any other challenges or obstacles that can prevent a woman of that age from having sex – and enjoying it!

That being said, it’s completely normal for people in their 70s to be sexually active! If you’re in love with your partner and both want to be intimate physically as well, age shouldn’t be a factor. In this article, we’ll look at all the important details you need to know about sex life for those in their 70s!

 

Sex In Your 70s

Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Although physical changes and health issues may influence an older adult’s sexual performance, several techniques can support people in maintaining a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual life. Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Changes brought on by aging may impact a person’s sexual life. A person’s sexual life might be impacted by health issues and shifting hormone levels, yet there are things people can do to maintain their sexual fulfillment as they age.

Age does not have to be a factor in sexual limitations. Because they have fewer obligations and are less likely to become pregnant unintentionally, older adults may feel more liberated than they did when they were younger.

 

How Aging Impacts Sex

Changes brought on by aging can have an impact on sexuality. As people age, their sexual organs alter. The vagina may narrow and become less lubricated in females. Menopause may also have an impact on sexual desire. Male erectile dysfunction may become increasingly prevalent.

Individuals may also discover that weight or muscle mass changes impact how they feel about their bodies. Illness, medication, or surgery can all have an impact on the desire and intimacy for sexual activity. Still, not everyone has these issues, and for those that do, many solutions are available.

 

Physical Changes

The vagina might get shorter and narrower as women age, and the vaginal wall can get thinner and stiffer. Less lubrication of the vagina may also occur. This might make vaginal penetration uncomfortable or lessen a person’s desire to have specific types of sexual relations. Luckily, lubricants exist, so they can be used to overcome this problem.

 

Hormonal Changes

Because menopause induces hormonal changes, going through menopause might have an impact on a person’s sexual life. While some menopausal individuals might not see any changes in their sexual lives, others could experience some of the symptoms below:

  • Getting drier and thinner in the vagina might make intercourse painful
  • Decreased desire or libido, trouble becoming aroused
  • Sleep disruptions that might make people feel more exhausted than normal
  • Mood changes that could affect a person’s desire or sex drive

Hormone replacement therapy is a prescription that a doctor might give to help with menopausal symptoms, which could be painful or impact sexual life.

 

Mental Changes

According to numerous studies, the most common reasons why older women avoid having sex are:

  • How satisfied you are with your relationship?
  • How intimate you are with your partner
  • How is your overall health?

Keep in mind that relationship factors are equally important as health-related factors for a woman in her 70s to be sexually active. For instance, if she is feeling anxious or is experiencing symptoms of depression, it will surely impact her ability and will to be intimate and have sex with her partner. 

 

How to Have an Active and Healthy Sex Life in Your 70s

If you have an open mind and a determined spirit, there’s a lot you can do between the sheets that can be really fulfilling. Saying you’re fatigued, that you have a headache, or that something aches is simple. Finding methods to please your loved one and have a quality of sex that may still make you feel turned on and happy with your relationship requires time, patience, and a strong desire. Everything depends on each partner’s mindset.

 

Invest in Your Relationship

The quality of the connection is a determining factor in the enjoyment of sex. A relationship is as wonderful as its sex. Their sexual life will be a reflection of the strength of their relationship if they are able to be candid, open, and accept responsibility for their flaws, errors, and inappropriate actions. Sex will suffer from the contaminated space and it will not be good if the lovers’ relationship space has been contaminated over time. Relationships require care just as much as a house, automobile, children, pets, and plants do. Sex will suffer if the relationship has been neglected for whatever reason. If there isn’t any love in the relationship, you can’t expect your spouse to be loving. 

 

Talk, Talk, Talk, and Talk More.

Good communication is necessary to help those with sexual dysfunction. Sadly, couples often choose to keep their emotions to themselves so as not to let their spouse down; as a result, excuses are created rather than the problems being addressed. Insecurities, shame, and guilt prevent people from solving their sexual difficulties. A couple will never have a resolution if they never discuss their feelings. It is not the solution to sidestep the problem and blame a headache or tiredness. 

 

Be Present

Regarding communication, listening and practicing presence are your greatest friends. The majority of couples are awkward with one another. One may stand in your way, yelling, passing judgment, condemning, or blocking your path, while the other could back off and become silent. When conversing, being present entails meeting each other’s eyes. 

Being present and getting to know their spouse’s language and cultural background means showing respect and having an open heart to truly grasp what their partner is saying without interjecting.

As long as you’re taking care of your health the best you can and feel connected to your partner, you’ve got the green light to make the most of your sexual life!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Training: Understanding Sexuality and Beyond

Sex Training: Understanding Sexuality and Beyond

 

Sex training is one of the best ways that therapists can enhance their intimate connection with themselves so that they can help their clients do the same. 

 This therapy is client-centered, trauma-informed, and intimacy-deepening. Sex training is specialized clinical training for consultants, life coaches, and therapists.

Sex training teaches you how to help your clients feel less trauma-related symptoms, more serenity, a better grasp of how to ask for what they want, and a greater sense of connection with others around them.

 

What is Sex Training?

Sexual therapy certification programs train specialists to help clients with sexual health issues. Although some healthcare training programs cover gender and sexuality, most do not prepare professionals to provide sex therapy. Sex therapy certification programs teach experts in other fields how to treat sexual health issues.

The majority of states require sex therapists to hold valid healthcare licenses to practice their profession. Sex therapists typically have backgrounds in a range of disciplines, such as marriage and family therapy (systems work), social work, psychology, urology, gynecology, and/or psychiatry. The American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), which offers a national certification process, is where most of those who are certified in sex therapy obtain their credentials. The top certification programs for sex therapy offer a direct path to a certification that is acknowledged at the local, state, or federal levels.

However, receiving sex training is what ensures that a therapist is knowledgeable about different approaches to helping their clients in the field of sexuality and intimacy. There are different training programs available across the United States, and finding the one that will provide you with key learnings and skills is crucial for your work success. 

 

Key Learnings in Sex Training

Programs for sex training are made to get you ready to use sex therapy in your practice. They adopt a sex-positive and inclusive stance and discuss issues including common therapies, strategies to rephrase language to be inclusive, and sex therapy diagnosis.

Some of the key learnings in sex training that therapists can expect to start applying in their work with clients are:

  • Identifying and diagnosing common concerns in sex therapy
  • How to apply different interventions, 
  • How to build trust with clients to discuss sexual concerns

Your comprehension of the intersections between the body, mind, emotions, culture, and identity will deepen as a result of the course. You’ll be able to assist patients in achieving their treatment objectives and staying true to their basic principles. Similar to this, you will be able to assist couples in overcoming the push-pull conflict cycle that frequently arises while working with multiple people simultaneously.

Sex training is intended for professionals interested in learning how to apply sex therapy to their clinical work as well as how to be more inclusive in their client interactions. Throughout this program, you will also discuss issues including usual diagnoses, the distinction between sex positivity and sex negativity, how to change the language to be more inclusive, normal sex therapy techniques, and more.

 

Becoming a Sex Therapist

There are five crucial steps to follow to become a sex therapist, yet if you are just getting started, it may take some time. The amount of time required for sex therapy training depends on your level of education and any credentials or certificates you have earned before enrolling in a particular program. Each state has its own standards for finishing your master’s degree, and they might be complicated and unclear.

Most sex therapists take this route to earn their degree and start working in the field:

  1. Obtain a master’s degree in counseling, psychiatry, clinical social work, marital and family therapy, or psychotherapy. Depending on the degree you choose to pursue, these degrees typically take two to seven years to complete.
  2. Meet all licensing standards; these criteria vary by state, so you’ll need to do your study based on where you live.
  3. While you are completing your supervised work experience, get a provisional license. Typically, the criteria call for between 1,500 and 4,000 hours.
  4. Pass the state’s licensing test.
  5. To finish your sex therapy training, finish an extra 60 supervised hours, finish an equivalent number of sexuality-related graduate school classes, or become a Certified Sex Therapist (CST).

 

Sex Therapy Session

As a sex therapist, you will pay attention to how your clients explain their issues and determine whether psychological, physical, or a combination of the two factors into the problem.

Every treatment session is private. Your clients are welcome to attend alone, yet if their issue also impacts their partner, it could be best for both of them to be present.

You’ll learn more about what’s going on and the reasons for it by talking about and investigating your client’s experiences. You might also assign them tasks to complete at their convenience

Typically, sessions last between 30 and 50 minutes. Your therapist might suggest weekly sessions or fewer regular visits, like once a month.

 

Sex Therapist vs. Sex Coach

You can also think about becoming a sex coach if you have a strong desire to help people improve their sex lives and relationships but feel unsure if the career path of a sex therapist is best for you.

Even though you will still require training, taking this specific course can help you finish it much more quickly and start work right away. There is a growing and strong demand for sex coaching.

As a therapist, you may want to enroll in a sex coaching school to help your clients with sexuality without going through the certification process. If you want a more hands-on experience, try somatic sex coaching or sex surrogacy. 

 

In Conclusion

Regardless of your career path, if you’re passionate about sexuality and learning ways to help your clients connect better with that part of themselves, you should take sex training. Learning from such programs is incredibly valuable to you as a professional and also to the relationship you are building with your clients. 

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Education Video: What You’ve Been Afraid to Ask

Sex Education Video: What You’ve Been Afraid to Ask

 

Have you ever watched a sex education video on your own initiative rather than at the request of your teacher or parents? How curious are you about sex? Just like you, many young people feel a bit overwhelmed with everything around sex, yet they are either too afraid, too proud, or too confused to decide to learn more about it.

Imagine if you were to learn how to drive a car from reading several social media posts or hearing gossip in high school. You might know how to start the engine or steer the wheel, yet being able to drive on the road without hurting yourself or anybody else requires more knowledge, skills, and practice. 

The same is true with sex; you need to educate yourself about all aspects of sex. From hygiene and feeling comfortable in your body to different sex techniques and orgasm types, you should be informed about it all before stepping into this experience. 

Although sex has become less taboo in recent years, many teens and young adults are still ashamed to seek answers to questions about sex. That’s why watching a few sex education videos or reading a blog or two might be just what you need to feel more confident and safe for your first time.

 

Why Sex Is Not Like Any Other Topic

It kind of is, yet your experience is telling you differently. You talk comfortably with your friends and family about your hobbies, the music you listen to, and your dream career, right? However, when it comes to sex, you start to feel uncomfortable and wish to switch to another topic. Sex was considered taboo in the past for a variety of social and religious reasons, yet learning about it on time helps young individuals like yourself, when they decide to have sex for the first time, practice it safely and not in ignorance. 

Sex is a private act, and if you don’t feel comfortable talking about it openly, you can educate yourself about it privately as well. It’s up to you when choosing how to learn about sex;, however, don’t ignore the power of education. Ignorance about sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), broken hearts, and different emotional issues. 

 

Learn Your Body First

Pleasure is the reason why people enjoy sex. You can reach sexual pleasure on your own or with another person; that’s completely up to you, yet you will need to learn what feels good and what doesn’t. The best way to do it is to study your body first. Masturbating is completely natural and the best way to get to know your body in a sexual way. 

Besides knowing how touching certain spots on your body makes you feel, you should also learn the names of body parts and what they do. For instance, do you know the difference between the vulva, vagina, and clitoris? This information can make your first sexual experience more enjoyable and help you not feel confused about sex.

 

Sex Requires Consent

Once you’ve covered all the details about your body parts and learned what you like and don’t like, there are quite a few things you’ll need to keep in mind for your first time. The most important one is consent. Because it involves another person, it is very important for you to communicate your intentions and get consent to have sex. 

If you or your partner starts feeling uncomfortable, in pain, or has simply changed their mind, make sure you respect them and stop right away. Also, you should know the name and age of your sex partner and avoid getting intimate with people you don’t know well enough. 

 

Before Your First Time

Once you’ve given and received consent and decided you’re ready for your first time, a few other things will need to be crossed off of your list. Consider how you wish to have your pubic hair. Maybe you want to have it completely shaved or waxed, or you want to leave it as it is. Also, think about the things you really didn’t like during the exploration of your body. You can even write them down on a piece of paper so you don’t forget them later. 

These things should be communicated to your sex partner before you engage in any type of sexual activity, as they will affect how you feel during sex and, often, after it. Once you’ve both expressed your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and desires, be sure to have protection with you, whether it’s a preservative, contraceptive pills, or something else. Keep in mind that not all types of contraception protect you from both STIs and unwanted pregnancy. In fact, the only contraceptive method that will keep you safe from both is a preservative or condom. 

Another thing you need to know is that the first time is only that—the first time you are experiencing something new. Don’t feel bad if you feel awkward during sex;, that’s completely normal and expected. It will take some time until you start feeling more pleasure in sex and the discomfort and weirdness around sex completely disappear. By communicating with your partner, it will be easier to go through these mixed feelings because you will realize you are not alone in them.

 

Conclusion

There are a lot of things you need to learn about sex before engaging in sexual activity. However, the more you learn, the better you will feel about it. Knowing what to expect during sex and understanding what your body needs helps you have better control over a situation that is completely new to you. Not to mention that experiencing anything for the first time always brings a bit of confusion and fear.

Sex is a form of intimacy between partners, and it can bring you closer to each other, but only if it’s not rushed and done when you’re both ready. The only way you’ll know if you’re both ready for what you want is by talking to each other before anything actually happens. 

That way, you will assure the connection between you strengthens and your sexuality is nurtured in a healthy way. After all, you’ve got your entire life to explore everything around sex, so make sure you dedicate some time to learning about it first. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Featured in The Knot - Sex Therapy

Featured in The Knot – Sex Therapy

Dr. Pasciucco is Featured in The Knot – Sex Therapy Article

Here’s What Actually Happens During Sex Therapy (Hint: No One Gets Naked)

Plus, where to find your own sex therapist | The Knot | by Dina Cheney

Whether it’s mismatched sex drives or one partner’s inability to orgasm, issues with sexual compatibility can leave you feeling frustrated and hopeless. Enter sex therapy—a specific type of talk therapy that focuses on sexual well-being and relationship satisfaction. Sounds intriguing, no?

To understand what sex therapy really is and how to find the right specialist, we spoke with three experts:

What Is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is essentially talk therapy, but with a focus on sexuality and relationships, explains Dr. Buehler. “It can help to treat sexual issues and problems in and out of the bedroom,” she says.

Sex therapy can be used to facilitate communication if you’re simply looking to take your sexual satisfaction to the next level, as well as help with issues that include:

READ MORE
Tantric Sex Techniques Perfect for First-Timers
  • Low sexual desire
  • Mismatched sexual desire
  • Differing physical abilities
  • Sex after illness or cancer
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Consensual nonmonogamy

What Actually Happens in Sex Therapy?

First, the therapist takes a history to get a sense of the problem and how to best solve it, explains Dr. Buehler. Usually, the solution will take the form of education, suggestions of strategies to try, or—if the problem is long-standing—additional psychotherapy plus educational tips.

The psychotherapy piece involves exploring patients’ past emotions, relationships and core beliefs about themselves and the world around them. After all, according to Dr. Barbach, many sexual problems (such as lack of desire) are really relationship problems. “People come to work on the sex, but have to work on the relationship—so they’re feeling connected enough to work on the sex,” she says.

One of the most common issues, low sexual desire or drive, can often be remedied by focusing on self-care, says Dr. Buehler, who urges her patients to ensure they’re getting proper sleep, nutrition, exercise and stress management.

For couples to make progress between sessions, sex therapists will also often give homework assignments, like touching activities or gratitude practices, to report back on during their next appointment.

Featured in The Knot - Sex Therapy

How to Find a Sex Therapist

When looking for a licensed sex therapist, it’s important that your specialist has a background in psychology, stresses Dr. Buehler, since many physical sexual problems have a psychological aspect to them as well. This way, they can diagnose non-physical issues affecting sexual function, like trauma, depression and anxiety. Ideally, they should be certified by AASECT, the oldest and largest association for sex therapists.

Find a Sex Therapist Near You

To find a local specialist, Dr. Buehler recommends searching the directory on the AASECT site and inputting your zip code. You can also ask your OBYGN, urologist or primary care doctor for a referral.

Dr. Pasciucco also recommends reading online reviews, as well as exploring any professional social media the specialist may have. By looking specialists up on YouTube and reading their blogs, you can get a sense of their approach, she explains.

Online Sex Therapy

Many practitioners also offer their services virtually, so you and your partner can attend online sessions without leaving home. Just make sure to choose a sex therapist licensed to practice in your state, says Dr. Barbach.

Additionally, there are therapy services that exist solely online, such Talkspace and Regain. Both popular online treatment providers offer relationship-centered couples therapy, where you can discuss topics surrounding sex and intimacy. While price quotes vary, Talkspace typically charges around $110 a week for a 30-minute couples therapy video session, plus text and audio messaging with a licensed marriage and family therapist.

How to Get a Resistant Partner to Go for Sex Therapy

Unfortunately, couples tend to wait a while before seeking a sex therapist. “Things usually have to get very bad first,” says Dr. Barbach. To encourage a resistant partner, she suggests explaining that sex is very important to your relationship satisfaction, and that your issue is likely common and solvable.

If your partner is hesitant out of embarrassment, reassure them that therapy is completely confidential. Ultimately, sex therapy provides a safe space for you to grow and thrive as both sexual beings and as a couple.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Tantric Sex Coaching: The Guide to Better Sex for Better Esteem

Tantric Sex Coaching: The Guide to Better Sex for Better Esteem

 

If you feel disconnected from your body during pleasure, tantric sex coaching can help. 

 

What is Tantric Sex Coaching?

Tantric sex coaching is a type of therapy that focuses on using breathing, sound, and movement practices to enhance your sexual experiences. 

It is designed to help you deepen your connection with your body in a new way. Similarly, you can explore new ways to overcome problems that are standing in the way of your sexual fulfillment.

 

How Does Tantric Sex Coaching Work?

A tantric coach will lead you through exercises and practices to deepen your connection with your body. Some of these practices are breathing exercises, meditation, and different ways of moving your body that are meant to help you explore and broaden your sexual horizons.

Coaching helps people who want to get more out of their sexual relationships learn how to explore their sexual desires. Furthermore, they overcome any obstacles that may be preventing them from experiencing pleasure. In the same way, it gives people a unique way to explore their sexuality in a supportive environment. 

 

What Are the Benefits of Tantric Sex Coaching?

There are many benefits to working with a tantric sex coach. Some of the most significant benefits include:

  • Improved connection with yourself
  • Improved physical and emotional health
  • Enhanced satisfaction
  • Greater self-awareness 
  • Increased intimacy and pleasure

 

FAQs

Q: Is tantric sex coaching only for couples?

A: No, tantric sex coaching can be beneficial for all adults.

Q: Do I need to have any prior experience with tantric practices to benefit from tantric sex coaching?

A: No, you do not need to have any prior experience with tantric practices. Your coach will guide you through the process and help you develop the skills you need to enhance your sexual experiences.

Q:Is tantric sex coaching considered a form of therapy for insurance purposes?

A: No, tantric sex coaching is not covered by insurance. In many nations and states, insurance does not cover tantra therapy. However, many life coaches provide sliding scale fees, making it a more affordable option. 

Therefore, adults benefit from tantric sex coaching in a deep and underlying way. 

Tantric practices are not just about physical pleasure, yet also about developing a deeper connection with yourself. Tantric sex coaching helps singles figure out what they want and what their limits are. It also helps them become more self-aware and confident. This can lead to greater fulfillment in all areas of life, not just in the realm of sexuality. Also, the communication and closeness skills you learn in tantric sex coaching can be used in all kinds of platonic relationships too! 

 

Conclusion

If you are looking to enhance your sexual experiences and deepen your connection with pleasure, tantric sex coaching might be right for you. With the help of a trained tantric coach, you can explore new ways to experience pleasure, improve your communication with your partner, and achieve greater physical and emotional health. So why not give it a try and see what tantric sex coaching can do for you?

 

Start your journey here

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

 

how to initiate sex

Proven Tips On How to Initiate Sex

Proven Tips On How to Initiate Sex

 

Although most individuals undoubtedly agree that sex is an essential part of an intimate relationship, some people may be unsure how to initiate sex, especially if they are in a new relationship.

Luckily, there are techniques to ease the partner into the situation and start the intercourse first. Even couples who have been together for a long time can improve their initiation skills, especially if one spouse constantly initiates while the other partner never asks.

 

Should You Initiate Sex?

It’s crucial to start sexual contact and to know how to do it properly. This is because if you don’t initiate sex, your partner could feel unwelcome or might not even be aware that you want sex. Also, your partner won’t always be very engaged in sex or really turned on when sex is not initiated in a way that suits them.

To encourage your spouse to want to have sex in the first place, you must make an effort to initiate sex. In addition, you must learn your partner’s preferred method of initiating sex. You should never presume that what is good for you also work well for your partner because your preferences can be different from theirs.

Also, you should never assume that your partner will initiate contact or let you know when they feel like having sex. Another justification for the significance of beginning is this. The two of you can lose out on an opportunity if you don’t take a chance and extend an invitation to have sex.

One partner, usually the male, always takes the lead in initiating sex, which may be problematic in partnerships. He could feel under pressure or that his spouse isn’t genuinely interested in having sex. If you’re a woman in a heterosexual relationship, your spouse will probably enjoy it if you sometimes request sex to relieve some of the burdens off of him.

 

Ways to Initiate Sex

Whether attempting to spice up a long-term relationship or start a new one, how you start having sex with your spouse will rely on their preferences.

To ensure you are both on the same page, speaking with each other ahead may be beneficial. It may be as easy as talking about the signals you and your partner give each other when you’re ready for sex or asking them how they want to be welcomed to sex.

Seduce Nonverbally

You can seduce your partner by taking your lover by the thigh or taking their hand and leading them into the bedroom. Or, you can put your favorite sexy music to give him a hint. For those couples that wish to have more sex, the good idea is to create some nonverbal signs in advance so you can let each other know when you want to start having sex. 

Start the Day Right

Sexual desire is typically more robust in the morning since testosterone levels are typically higher at this time. The most fantastic time to initiate might be in the morning, especially if you have a hectic schedule or trouble with a low-sex desire. Instead of hopping out of bed, start cuddling with your partner until those touches turn into foreplay. 

Schedule It

While arranging sex may seem tedious or out-of-date, there are occasions when it is the ideal course of action, particularly for couples with busy schedules or who disagree as to who should start the intercourse.

There is no tolerance for a rejection or damaged feelings when there is a weekly session planned on the calendar. This way of starting a relationship also lets your partner know that intimacy is essential to you.

Talk about Sex

Don’t be scared to ask for what you want if you know what it is. It might become horny if you communicate exactly what you want, according to experts. You may say that you want to get down on them or that you want to have a quickie on the couch in the living room. Also, talking about sex boosts your curiosity and turns it into one of your relationship’s priorities. 

Massage Each Other

A massage can be your first choice if you seek novel approaches to starting sex with your partner. Establish the scene by beginning the massage with the back and working downward. She will undoubtedly feel calm and motivated after this. You can even play some sexy music in the background to get you both in the mood. 

Share Experiences

Before having sex, why not cook together your favorite dish or dance in the living room? Experiences like this will not only strengthen the intimacy between the two partners yet will also raise interest in prolonging this intimate experience. The more experiences you share, the more you will both be interested in having sex and being intimate together. 

Take Control

In a committed relationship, you can occasionally need to assert yourself. As you’re watching TV together, invite your lover to have sex by unbuttoning their shirt or sitting on their lap. This makes it quite evident that you are starting the sex.

 

Why Initiating Sex in Relationships Matters

More than simply a few minutes of physical contact between lovers might be involved in sex. This practice can increase emotional connection between partners and possibly lessen stress for those already in a relationship.

Sex may enhance a person’s quality of life, even if they only have casual relationships. It’s interesting to note that following COVID-19, those who continued to engage in sexual activity throughout the lockdown reported having reduced levels of anxiety and despair. It might revitalize the relationship if you start to initiate sex even though you don’t typically do it. This effort can reignite passion between lovers, especially after a dry time.

 

The Bottom Line

Sexual activity between two consenting adults should be joyful and liberating. It makes sense to want to enjoy this action on your own rather than waiting for your partner to take the lead.

It need not be daunting to initiate sex. You may confidently take control of organizing intimate times by communicating your wants and ensuring your partner is in the same frame of mind.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

What Happens During Sex Therapy for Anxious Perfectionists 

What Happens During Sex Therapy for Anxious Perfectionists 

 

Anxious perfectionists are frequently concerned about what happens during sex therapy. 

In this type of therapy, clients work one-on-one with a therapist to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a confidential and non-judgmental setting. 

Individual sexual therapy is meant to help people understand their own patterns of behavior and come up with new ways to deal with anxiety and stress.

Benefits of Individual Therapy for Anxious Perfectionists

One of the best things about individual therapy is that you can get personalized care and help. Unlike group therapy or support groups, individual therapy allows clients to focus exclusively on their own needs and experiences. This can be especially important for wealthy perfectionists who may feel that their high standards and need for control are not understood by others.

Another benefit of sex therapy is the ability to work at a deep, underlying level. Individual therapy lets people talk about their thoughts and feelings in a safe and private setting. 

This can be especially helpful for anxious perfectionists who may be struggling to understand why they feel so driven to be perfect and why they experience so much stress and anxiety.

What Happens During Sex Therapy

During individual therapy, the therapist will work with the client to figure out what psychological needs are driving their behavior. This may involve exploring the client’s past experiences, relationships, and beliefs about themselves and the world around them.

The therapist will also help the client figure out what kinds of habits are making them feel anxious and stressed. For example, a wealthy, anxious perfectionist may be driven to do well, yet when they can’t meet their own high standards, they may feel guilty and doubt themselves.

In individual therapy, the therapist will help the client come up with new ways to deal with stress and anxiety. This could mean teaching the client ways to relax, like deep breathing or mindfulness meditation, and helping them have a more positive view of life.

During sex therapy, a therapist works with individuals or couples to address sexual concerns and improve their sexual functioning. 

This could mean talking about and looking into things like a lack of desire, trouble getting aroused or having an orgasm, sexual pain, or problems in a relationship that are affecting sexual satisfaction. 

The therapist may use different methods, such as PLISSIT, communication exercises, and teaching about how the body works sexually. 

The PLISSIT model is a framework for addressing sexual concerns in therapy. It is an acronym that stands for:

  • Permission: This step involves creating a safe and non-judgmental space for clients to talk about their sexual concerns. The therapist helps clients feel comfortable discussing their sexuality and encourages them to express their thoughts and feelings.
  • Limited Information: This step involves providing clients with accurate and appropriate information about sexual anatomy and function. The therapist may provide basic education about sexual physiology and physiology.
  • Specific Suggestions: This step involves offering specific suggestions and strategies to help clients improve their sexual functioning. This may include exercises, homework assignments, and communication skills training.
  • Intensive Therapy: This step is for the more complex or difficult cases where the therapist will work with the client in a more intensive and in-depth way.

The PLISSIT model is meant to be a framework that can be changed to fit the needs of each client. It is meant to be a starting point for talking about sexual issues in therapy, not a strict list of steps that have to be done in a certain order.

Why Perfectionists Should Invest in Individual Sex Therapy

Individual therapy can be a valuable investment for perfectionists for several reasons. 

First, it provides an opportunity for clients to receive personalized attention and support. This can be especially important for individuals who may feel that their high standards and need for control are not understood by others.

Second, individual therapy can help clients understand their behavior patterns and come up with new ways to deal with stress and anxiety. This can be especially important for people who feel like their jobs are taking over their lives and are having trouble finding a balance.

Lastly, individual therapy can help people avoid burnout by giving them a safe place to talk about their thoughts and feelings without being judged. By better understanding their deeper psychological needs, people can learn to deal with stress and anxiety better, which can help them feel more satisfied and happy in their lives.

The goal of sex therapy is to help individuals and couples improve their sexual relationships and overall sexual well-being.

If you want a taste of it, without the commitment, get started here

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

tantric sex best practices

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Shibari Knots

Riggers’ Guide to Tying the Perfect Shibari Knots

Riggers’ Guide to Tying the Perfect Shibari Knots

 

Do you want to improve your ability to tie shibari knots? If so, you have landed at the right place!

Three of the most popular shibari knots—the Somerville bowline knot, the square knot, and the double column tie—are covered in this guide.

We’ll discuss each shibari knot and its special attributes and discuss why it might be the best option in a particular situation.

A Secure Foundation: The Somerville Bowline Knot

An effective and secure knot for creating a loop at the end of a rope is the Somerville bowline. It frequently serves as the foundation of shibari knots. Meaning, it offers a strong base upon which the rest of the tie may be constructed.

Making a little loop in the rope and slipping the working end through the loop are the first steps in tying a Somerville bowline knot. So, the working end should then be positioned below the rope’s standing portion and wrapped around it. The working end should then be inserted into the loop once more, and the knot should be tightened.

The stability and strength of the Somerville bowline distinguish it from other knots. Meaning, it is the ideal option for any rigger. If you want to guarantee their partner’s safety during a tie because it won’t slip or come undone even under extreme pressure.

A Versatile Option: The Square Knot

In shibari, there are many uses for the square knot, which is an easy and straightforward knot. It is frequently employed to tie two ropes together or to tighten a rope to hold a tie.

Take the working end of one rope and cross it over the standing end of the second rope to form a square knot. Next, take the working end of the other rope and tie it over the first rope’s standing portion. To tighten the knot, lastly, pull the two working ends together.

For riggers who are just learning shibari, the square knot is a common option due to its simplicity. Additionally, it is a flexible knot that can be applied in a variety of tying situations, making it a go-to knot for riggers who want to be ready for everything.

Make sure to tie it securely to prevent it from collapsing into the limb of the person you are trying to reach. If you are not confident in your square knot, use the somerville bowline.

The Double Column Tie: An Innovative Tie

Shibari practitioners frequently tie a partner’s wrists or ankles together using the double column tie, a dynamic and striking knot. The end product is definitely worth the extra practice it takes to master this more complicated knot.

Start by creating a loop in the rope and placing it over the desired body portion to knot a double column tie (such as a wrist). The working end should then be raised over the standing end of the rope and tucked through the loop.

This working end should then be re-crossed over and wrapped around the standing portion of the rope. The working end should then be inserted into the loop once more, and the knot should be tightened.

The double column tie is an eye-catching knot that may turn a plain tie into a piece of art. It’s a fantastic option for riggers who want to add a little flair to their work and produce a scene with impact.

Choose the Appropriate Shibari Knots for your Current Situation

In conclusion, which knot ought to be used in your subsequent shibari scene? It really depends on the tying situation and your unique style.

Do you wish to begin your kink experience with us? Get started.

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Your Guide to Sensate Therapy

Your Guide to Sensate Therapy

 

Sensate therapy or sensate-focused therapy is a kind of sex therapy that makes use of touching exercises to help sexual partners get rid of any negative or anxious feelings they may have about being intimate. Additionally, this kind of therapy enhances sexual partner communication.

You might feel concerned if you and your partner have noticed you struggle with sexual intimacy and luckily, s ensate therapy can be exactly what you need to solve this issue. With this kind of treatment, you both may begin to determine what suits you better, what you like, and what you find exciting.

How does sensate therapy work? What results can you expect from it? We’ll address all of these questions and more in this guide. 

What is Sensate Therapy? 

Sensate therapy is a form of sex therapy that makes use of touching exercises to help sexual partners get rid of any negative or unease they may have about being intimate. Additionally, this kind of therapy enhances sexual partner communication.

It consists of a series of mindful touch activities that might help you feel less sexually anxious while also giving you the chance to discover your own and your partner’s bodies. With it, you can learn to get out of the mind and into the present by concentrating simply on how you feel, giving your body room to react in its natural way.

 The couple will perform certain exercises during a few months, which are given by their sex therapist. The exercises are provided to them to complete at home, sometimes alone and sometimes with others. The pioneers of sexuality research, Dr.Willian Masters and Virginia Johnson, developed senate focus treatment in 1970.

The goal of the treatment they developed is to get rid of performance anxieties, which have a detrimental influence on intimacy in the bedroom. By letting go of concepts like anticipation or objectives, like anticipating an orgasm, both body and mind begin to unwind so that pleasure may flow unhindered.

Sensate therapy is a blend of sensate touch, mindfulness, and exposure therapy, which teaches you to link pleasant, calming sensations with touch, sex, and your partner.

The Five-Step Process

Sensate focus is a blend of sensate touch, mindfulness, and exposure therapy, which teaches you to link pleasant, calming sensations with touch, sex, and your partner.

1. Non-Genital Touching

During the sensitive concentration exercises, you both should be clean, relaxed, and undressed. If they can’t be nude, they should wear free-flowing, cozy garments. The initial step in the procedure is for the pair to decide who will touch and who will receive. 

Halfway through this process, they will exchange places, allowing everyone to both give and receive touches. The toucher will touch the recipient anyplace on the body besides the breasts or genitalia while the recipient is lying down in a comfortable posture.

2. Genital & Breast Touching

The partners alternate between being the toucher and the receiver in the second phase, which has a similar fundamental format to the first. The toucher may, though, also touch their partner’s genitalia at this stage. However, since exploration rather than sexual arousal is still the main objective, the toucher shouldn’t spend more or less time on the genitalia than other areas of the body. 

It is OK for one or both parties to grow excited throughout the procedure, yet once more, they must resist the urge to transform the interaction into a sexual encounter. The pair may also adopt a method known as “hand-riding” in step two, in which the receiver places their hand over the toucher’s hand and offers the toucher subtle nonverbal cues such as sometimes applying slightly more pressure. The receiver may sit between the toucher’s knees during this phase to enable this method. Once more, the couple will trade places after the predetermined time.

3. Adding Lotion or Lubricant

Step three is identical to step two with the addition of lubricant for any genital touching and lotion or baby oil for body touching. According to Masters and Johnson, “changing the medium of touch is one of the methods to enhance sensory awareness.” Avoid applying cold oil or lotion to the couple. 

The toucher could do this by first warming the lotion in their palm before applying it to the recipient. Before beginning step three, the pair might, alternatively, reheat the entire lotion or oil container in a tub of warm water.

4. Mutual Touching

In the last phase, both partners are permitted to touch each other simultaneously. The couples should not touch one another with the aim or expectation of evoking sexual excitement, yet rather with the attitude of merely observing the sensations and feelings of contact, according to the same fundamental rules as in the previous three phases. 

The couple may also touch one another with their lips and tongues at this stage, yet they should refrain from kissing and oral sex. By doing this, they prevent themselves from relapsing to previous sexual habits and allow themselves to experience new levels of pleasure and sensory enjoyment.

5. Sensual Intercourse

The phrase “sensual intercourse” was used as the title of the final phase of the sensate concentration with great meaning by Masters and Johnson. During the last phase, the couple is concentrating on gaining a higher level of touch awareness throughout this approach. 

They do not want to go back to the occasionally mechanical, orgasm-driven character of sexual activity. As they come into contact once again, they can continue to practice mindfulness during pleasurable touch by focusing on the temperature, shape, and texture of their genitalia. Before participating in automatic thrusting patterns, they may slowly insert and remove fingers or the penis from the vagina multiple times. The couple could experiment with different breathing patterns to observe how the sensations are affected.

In Final Words

Sex therapists offer sensual focus treatment. You should start looking for a sex therapist if you and your partner are struggling with intimacy. Look for mental health professionals who have sex therapy as a subspecialty and experience with sensate therapy.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

goop

Goop – Features Amanda Pasciucco on Edging for Stronger Orgasms Article

Goop – Features Amanda Pasciucco on Edging for Stronger Orgasms

 

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST, owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, and a.k.a “The Sex Healer” was interviewed in an article for Gweneth Paltrow’s goop site and lifestyle brand. You can find interesting content and products related to sexual wellness on goop.

Let’s say you’re right on the edge of coming. Now back off a sec. Can you slow down? Can you extend that pleasure? And when you come back toward orgasm: Do you notice anything different? That’s edging, or the stop-and-start technique. And it’s a tool sex therapists use to enhance pleasure.
Clinical sexologist Amanda Pasciucco says edging is all about riding the wave of arousal and building and rebuilding sexual tension. It resembles tantric sex: Edging is about enjoying the present pleasure rather than rushing to orgasm. Edging works by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which creates a more intense orgasm when you finally allow yourself to finish. It has to do with the anatomy of arousal. “Letting the blood flow circulate into the genitals and letting that come back into the body creates an embodied, sensational experience,” Pasciucco says.Sex educator Taylor Sparks often recommends edging to couples. She says the practice encourages partners to engage and pay attention to each other throughout the entire experience of sex. “You get to watch what pleases your partner,” she says.Bringing yourself (or your partner) to the edge of orgasm can be used as a form of control play, too. Like certain BDSM techniques, edging plays on the psychological thrill of wanting something you can’t have. “It’s the anticipation. You’re so close to having that oh mighty O, you’re almost there, but then it’s like, wait,” Sparks says.Edging can also help people seeking better control over ejaculation, including premature ejaculation. Both Pasciucco and Sparks say that when people practice edging regularly, their bodies adjust to holding an erection longer.

HOW TO START EDGING

Pasciucco recommends building arousal by focusing on your senses and your breath. Then touch your body wherever feels most exciting. Maybe glide a vibrator over your inner thighs, lower belly, pubic bone, or inner groin before moving to the clitoris. Then imagine a barometer of pleasure. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is an orgasm, Pasciucco asks, where is 7? “We’re gonna back off as soon as we feel a 7,” Pasciucco says, “and go back down to a 5.”

It’s worth trying different kinds of sex toys to see how they enhance your practice. Engage the senses with something that feels good on the skin, like soft fabrics, floggers, feathers, or paddles. Our Double-Sided Wand Vibrator offers rumbly vibrations for a controlled buildup. And an air-pulsing vibrator like Womanizer sucks the clitoris and is a great choice for (finally) finishing.

goop Picks

  1. goop Wellness Double-Sided Wand Vibrator
  2. Womanizer Womanizer Premium 2

Devices that surround the penis and apply varied waves of pressure, like the Arcwave Ion, can engage the frenulum, an area on the underside of the penis that’s particularly packed with nerve endings. It’s not designed for edging, but it’s one way to heighten pleasure in a masturbation session—and you can use it as a tool in an edging practice.

  1. Arcwave Arcwave Ion

Don’t worry about getting edging right. The point, ultimately, is to get out of your head, get in touch with your senses, and let go of the impulse to rush to the end. “Just enjoy the journey and enjoy the act of pleasure,” Sparks says.

Written by: Zoe Moscovici | Published on: October 6, 2022

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners

 

If you’re searching for shibari rope and learning about tied up sex for beginners on Google, you’re not alone. 

While some couples are dedicated to discovering the best sex toys for couples—or even the most incredible sex toys period—others choose shibari rope bondage as a method to spice things up in the bedroom. 

Shibari rope bondage has been a common theme in erotic literature and art for centuries. Yet why is servitude so appealing? Well, there are many causes. While being blindfolded heightens the senses in the rest of the body, playing around with constraints can provide a thrilling adrenaline rush. Consider all the times you’ve slept off during a massage; it must have felt wonderful.

You and your partner have certainly tried a few sex tricks and ideas. How can you bring something that brings to mind twisted rope, leather fetish gear, and gimp masks into your sex lives? Continue reading for our beginner’s guide to bondage and let’s explore together the world of tied-up sex.

Ask and give consent. 

Although consent is as crucial in vanilla sex, we frequently grow accustomed to it to the point where we either forget to ask for it or excitedly provide it. However, in BDSM, you deviate from the set pattern. You and your partner must communicate frequently and clearly to ensure that everything you’re doing is safe and enjoyable since experimenting with bondage or another non-vanilla play is different from the kind of sex we’re used to seeing in the movies or on TV.

How is it possible to be completely willing while also being someone’s sex slave? How can you be both down for it and desire to get spanked, beaten, or punished? How does the person with whom you are having kinky sex know where the boundaries are? How do you express a yes or a no?

Have an escape plan. 

Although you and your partner have talked about all you wish to try in the bondage sex and things you want to avoid, there is still a need for an escape plan. You have to have a safe word or safe signal that will show your partner that you either want to fully stop or slow down. 

Some people use the color terms for communication in tied-up sex. 

For instance, yellow for slowing things down and red for stopping completely. 

If you’re tied up and you cannot speak, you can have something in your hand and drop it when you want to stop. You can also agree on certain movements to demonstrate you are not enjoying the bondage games as much as you’d like to. 

Be Clear on Each Other’s Mindset

Both of you will need to feel good about the role. If you’re the submissive one and your partner the dominant one, you should both be responsible in your roles. The dominant partner must be especially responsible, as they are controlling the situation. The submissive partner should trust them and know they are reliable in such scenarios. 

A partner who is tying up the other partner should be certain of their actions yet not controlling. This will allow the submissive partner to relax and enjoy the sex even more. And, the best way to ensure you’re both ready for your roles is to talk about it before it happens. 

Keep Learning

There is so much you can learn about tied-up sex, bondage, BDSM, and fetishes if you’re into it. Don’t think that one hard-core sex is enough to satisfy both of your needs if vanilla sex is no longer doing it for you. There are so many variations you can try out, from role-playing to different tools and toys that might help you improve your sexual life. 

You can find different sources online that can teach you how to make your BDSM side alive and satisfied. With plenty of online courses, books, blogs, and forums, you will have no issues finding interesting ideas that you’ll be eager to try out with your partner in the bedroom. 

Pre-Sex Tips

You shouldn’t start your first bondage experience with a close acquaintance, according to experts. So, even if you met them through one of the top dating websites on the internet, brand-new Tinder dates and anyone you just met online are out.

Because they don’t know how to bring up bondage with their partner, many people are discouraged from trying it out. Obtain some erotic literature or even a movie to enjoy in the privacy of your own house. Before even considering items like tools and clothing, it is the first step. Instill the idea that you might want to give it a try in your partner’s head.

Couples that can be completely honest tend to stay together and have the most fulfilling relationships. One of them might respond, “I would love to explore role-play,” if they feel comfortable enough to ask, “Let’s explore what you enjoy.” This creates an entire world of new possibilities waiting for you two to explore them. 

The best way to make something less intimidating is to offer to do it first. For example, you could say, “I’m going to wear a blindfold tonight, I’ve got this great idea – I want to try you massaging me while I’m wearing the blindfold,” and then after you’ve done it, tell them how awesome it was. 

In Final Words

Be safe; respect one another, be serious about one another, yet have fun! 

You are not doing shibari rope correctly if you are not enjoying your time in the bedroom. 

Things might seem a bit weird at the beginning as you’re doing it for the first time, yet have patience and be open-minded. 

You decided to try shibari rope out, so why not give it some time? 

Try it a few times, and explore different positions and scenarios. Talk about it with your partner before and after you have a sensual scene, to be on the same page when learning what you like and don’t like. 

If you treat shibari rope as an experience in which you can learn so much about yourself and your partner(s), you will easily find what works best for you and have fun along the way. 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist

 

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ is one of the recent Netflix series in which Melanie Rose, an interior designer, is building a sex room for couples who want to spice up their sex lives and reconnect with their partner intimately. Although an excellent and easy-to-watch concept, this reality show soon witnessed numerous negative reviews, mostly around the lack of sex educators to discuss with the couples what they are interested in trying out and finding out the many dimensions of sex and games. 

We’ll dive into the show, respond to some of those online critics, and take a look at what could be done better in the format it was recorded.

What is ‘How to Build a Sex Room’? 

When an interior designer, Melanie Rose, steps in to assist 11 couples and a single woman to spice up their sex life with rooms packed with specialty furniture and other decor tailored to satisfy dreams and fetishes, names it ‘How to Build a Sex Room’, and launches it on Netflix, you know it’s going to be a hot topic. 

We’re already deep in summer, and the temperature continues to rise, so watching sexy and steamy content on TV might be one of the best things to watch before going to bed, while traveling to your vacation spot, or maybe at work while most of your colleagues have already set their out-of-office emails. 

Melanie Rose is an interior designer with over 15 years of experience and five years of experience designing sex rooms. So, what is a sex room? It is not your bedroom or any room you frequently use for sex. It is a space specifically built and designed for sexual activities. There are many variations of how a sex room can look, and it will mostly depend on the individual’s or couple’s preferences. It can be sensual and simple, or it can be a true sex dungeon with endless numbers of sex toys and tools. 

What’s the Fuss With the Show?

As much as all sex therapists and sex educators are enthusiastic each time we see a show that aims to educate wider audiences on sex, sexual pleasure, and physical intimacy, something was off from the start.

As an interior designer, it is obvious that Melanie Rose doesn’t have enough experience to guide and advise couples on their sex lives, yet she does that throughout the entire show. For instance, a couple that has never experimented with anything rather than vanilla sex is taken to see an intimate BDSM play between the dominatrix and her submissive partner, which surprises and even disgusts them a little bit. Keep in mind that all of these couples have different dynamics, desires, boundaries, and personalities. What one couple sees as a perfectly normal sexual activity, another couple might consider repulsive. 

Just because we say we want to try something different with our partner doesn’t mean it has to be the opposite of what we are already practicing in the bedroom or, in this case, the sex room. A couple that feels most confident in vanilla sex can do a few tweaks, introduce a new sex toy like a vibrator, and both feel sexually satisfied. Each couple is unique, and even those couples that enjoy BDSM will get turned on by some variations of it, while others will do nothing for them. 

The show lacks a deeper understanding of what sex means to a couple or an individual and how to learn what lights their fire and what they are assuming. That perspective can only be given by someone with experience working with couples in the field of sex therapy. Also, a sex therapist or a sex educator would provide more valuable insights to viewers at home who might be curious about how to improve their sex life with the resources available. 

After all, it has little to do with a cute design and everything to do with understanding yourself better sexually to be able to reconnect with your partner and give yourselves the pleasures for which you both are yearning. 

Another point to make is that the couples were shown in a very shallow way due to the format. Can you really learn about marriage or couple’s life and common issues that occur in almost every relationship if the show presents 11 couples and one single person in eight episodes? The way it was recorded showed more emphasis on the construction and design side of the project instead of sensual and sexual, making the viewers feel like they are watching just another series about home makeovers. 

The Good Side of This Show

As already said, it’s still a success to see on such a mainstream platform anything that teaches a wider audience that talking about and working on improving your sexual pleasure is completely normal and shouldn’t be considered taboo. Sex education should be available to everyone who wants to learn about it. If you can learn how to tidy your home and live a more organized life, why couldn’t you learn how to have better sex with your partner or have more frequent orgasms?

The responsibility of those creating such content is huge, however, it doesn’t mean that even a show like ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ with all its negative reviews is a step backward. It’s a step forward, and we should feel comfortable talking about it with our partners, friends, and family. That is where the true value of sex-educated content lies – in being a conversation starter and motivating us to communicate about such an important matter in our lives. 

In a way, Melanie Rose and her team managed to add sexual pleasure as a topic in dining conversations, casual talks, and self-observation moments. It’s up to us what we will make of it. Maybe you will go to your partner and share your hidden sexual fantasy or give yourself the right to explore your body to learn what gives you pleasure. Maybe, you will motivate your friends to talk more about sexual experiences and desires, or you will start researching more about sexuality. Whatever you decide to do, it will impact your sex life and help you enjoy sex more.

 

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex

 

Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom

sex therapy videos

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

 

If you thought that sex therapy involves only talking, you’ll be happy to hear there’s also homework in a form of sex therapy exercises. You and your partner may try to improve the quality of your sexual life or solve a few issues in the bedroom. These exercises can provide much value to you as a couple and strengthen your relationship beyond sex. 

These exercises are typically assigned during sex therapy, in which a therapist assigns homework tailored to you as a couple. Let’s take a look at what are sex therapy exercises and give you the motivation you need to ace this. 

About Sex Therapy Exercises

It’s completely normal to want to improve the quality of your sex life, and it doesn’t necessarily imply you are unsatisfied in bed. Not to mention that to enjoy sex and connect better with your partner sexually requires both of you to do different exercises related to sex and intimacy. Not too bad, right?

If you’ve already done the talk with your partner, started the sex therapy, and you’re both curious to see how these exercises can bring more fun into your four walls – and maybe outside them, all that’s left to do is to roll your sleeves and get started with your marital homework. 

The true value of sex exercises for couples is that it teaches them what is fundamental for each partner to consider they had great sex, while also broadening horizons and trying out things you never knew you even like. 

Like it is with everything, practice makes perfect. With sex, there is so much more involved than chemistry. Individuals prefer different things and styles of sex, and often, they need different things to get excited. To enjoy sex means that both partners will need to be satisfied with their sexual activities, not just one. 

Why Couples Need Sex Therapy Exercices

There can be many reasons why a couple started with sex therapy. A loss of intimacy because of a certain event or trauma, lack of orgasm from one or both partners, and reduced libido are the most common reasons why someone will consider going to sex therapy, however, there can be numerous reasons for it.

When couples start working on their sex life and intimacy with a guidance of a therapist, they will notice improvements in communication, especially in the bedroom, deeper emotional connection,  and a stronger relationship in general. If you’re a bit nervous about these exercises, keep in mind that you’ll first establish the trust with the therapist and go through a bit of talking before getting this interesting homework.

That said, you’ll definitely need to practice these exercises with your partner and be dedicated to making things better in your sex life. These are the questions you can expect to hear from your sex therapist: 

  • What did you do this week that made your partner loved?
  • Also, What can you do to improve this during the following week?
  • What can you do to make your intimacy a priority?
  • Also, What did you notice lately that works well for you in sex?
  • What things would you like to see more in bed or from your partner to enjoy more sex?

These and similar questions can be a part of your sex therapy because they show your therapist what you both need, while also allowing both of you to express what you need in a safe environment. 

Types of Sex Therapy Exercises

As already explained, there are many different kinds of sex exercises that you and your partner can practice at home, yet there are three of them that are most commonly recommended to improve sexual connection and intimacy between partners. 

Hugging

The best way to improve both sex and intimacy is through hugging. Although it’s not an erotic exercise that requires couples to be naked, it has proven to be a very efficient exercise in both couple and sex therapy. A couple will hug each other until they both feel at ease and relax. You should hug your partner, and at the same time, they should hug you. The idea is to connect mutually instead of one being the caregiver and the other caretaker. 

Heads on Pillows

Not as known as hugging, heads on pillows is yet another great exercise for restoring intimacy between partners. Both partners will lie down with their heads on their pillows and face each other. The idea is to quiet the mind and heart, and simply look into the partner’s eyes. There can be a bit of touching, yet avoid erotic areas or anything else that might distract you from the exercise. 

Feeling when Touching

Just like the first two exercises, this one cannot lead to sex either. Partners should lay down and one should start touching the other. Restain from touching genitals or any erotic areas, and focus on what you feel while you are touching your partner. Once a person can touch their partner for about 10 minutes, they can switch roles. Talking is also not encouraged, as it takes you away from the exercises.

Ready, Set, Practice!

It might be unusual for you to see that most common sex exercises have nothing or little to do with sex. The reason for that is that to have great sex, partners should first feel the connection between them. You truly need to see and feel your partner in order to connect sexually and achieve orgasm. 

Also, don’t get discouraged. It takes time to feel comfortable with this type of exercise, so make sure you and your partners are taking it easy. Be curious about the process and keep your mind on the objective. These exercises are created to make you both enjoy each other even more, yet it takes time to fully get there. 

Until then, treat it as your sexy homework. After all, have you ever been assigned homework this cool? We doubt it, so make sure you are making the most of it. Communicate with your partner how you feel about these exercises to remind yourself of the reason why you are doing all of it.

Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

sensate focus

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?

 

Have you ever heard of sensate focus? It is a technique that improves intimacy and communication around sex between partners, while also reducing sexual performance anxiety, and abandoning any sexual pattern that doesn’t serve a couple. The sensate focus technique was developed 60 years ago by Dr. William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and involves a series of touching exercises a couple completes in one sequence. 

The goal of sensate focus is for partners to let go of the expectations and judgments around mutual touching, and rather focus only on the sensory aspects of touch, such as texture, temperature, and pressure. Master and Johnson created this technique to help couples relax and be more mindful of the sensual touching experience, without the burden of preconceived ideas of what should occur. 

Also known as mindful touching or non-orgasm-focused touch, the sensate focus has proved to help improve intimacy and quality of sex life for many couples, especially those who have issues with body image, desire, arousal, orgasm, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 

You will find many variations of this technique, yet the founders have outlined it as a process that involves five steps. 

1. Non-Genital Touching

The first step requires both partners to be clean, unclothed, and well-rested. If they don’t feel comfortable being naked, they can choose to wear comfortable clothes that are not restraining them in any way. One partner is the toucher and the other one is the receiver in the first step of the sensate focus. Halfway through the initial steps, the partners will switch roles, so both of them can experience what it’s like to be the toucher and the receiver. 

The receiver will lie down in a position that feels comfortable for them, while the toucher touches them anywhere on the body which is not breasts or genitals. The idea is to enjoy the sensuality of touch instead of using it as a tool for sexual arousal or stimulation. Even if one partner or both of them become sexually excited, they should resist the temptation to have sex because it leads to the same sexual partners. The founders of sensate focus suggest 15 minutes as the maximum time to explore all the sensations touching and being touched can arise in a person. 

2. Genital and Breast Touching

In the second step, the partners will continue with the same structure, however, the genitals and breasts are no longer “off limits”. Partners are still focused on exploring which sensations they feel when immersed in the power of a touch, instead of sexual stimulation. In other words, the toucher shouldn’t spend more time touching the genitals and breasts than any other body area. One of the partners will likely become aroused in this step, yet they should continue with the technique, instead of turning it into a sexual encounter.

Here, the couple can utilize the hand riding technique, which allows them to use their hand to give nonverbal cues like slightly increasing the pressure. If using this technique, the receiver must sit in between the legs of their partner to feel even more connected.

3. Adding Lotion or Lubricant

In step three, you will repeat everything from the previous step, only with the addition of oil or lotion when touching the body and a lubricant for the genital touching. The founders of the sensate focus believed that adding lotion or lubricant improves sensory awareness by altering the medium of touch. 

The important thing to know is that the oil or lotion used for body touching mustn’t be cold, so you should warm it before you dive into exploring this technique or simply warn it in your hands before putting it on the receiver’s body. 

4. Mutual Touching

Now, both partners will be allowed to touch each other at the same time. There are no more roles, and both can be the receiver and the toucher at once. The basic principles from the third step stay, however, when mutually touching each other, partners should resist their desire for sexual intercourse. Instead, they should continue with the mindset of noticing all the sensations and feelings of touch.  

Also, couples can now use their lips and tongue to touch each other, yet still without kissing or oral sex. This ensures they don’t go back to their old sexual patterns and discover a completely new level of sensuality and connection caused by sensory appreciation.

 

5. Sensual Intercourse

Masters and Johnson coined the term “sensual intercourse” to describe the last phase of sensate focus. Throughout the entire technique, the couple was focused on building a new level of awareness when it comes to touching. Ergo, they shouldn’t revert to their old sexual behaviors, which were often mechanical and orgasm-driven. 

Partners should continue practicing mindfulness when sensually touching each other by becoming aware of the temperature, texture, and shape of their genitals. They might decide to insert and remove fingers or penis into the vagina several times before continuing. Some couples choose to vary their breathing and observe how it affects the sensations, while others might decide to continue with touching. Whichever the choice, both partners should stay aware of the magic of touch and all the physical sensations it awakens in them. 

Conclusion

By abandoning your old sexual patterns and behaviors, you are able to connect on a new level with your partner. As most sex and romantic partners start touching each other as foreplay that aims to lead to sexual intercourse. Sensate focus allows us to explore how we feel about the touch and how our partner is reacting when we touch them.

This strengthens intimacy and sexual connections between partners, and more importantly, it helps them to discover new dimensions of their sexuality. It breaks the limits of sex only being the same series of actions, typically only orgasm-driven. And introduces a new way of understanding how powerful touching our loved ones can be in itself. 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

doggy style

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

 

There’s no surprise if we say that doggy style sex is one of the most popular sex positions, right? To avoid being stuck in the missionary position or any of those you and your sex partner like to practice frequently, switching to doggy sex will provide you with so much more than just dynamics in sex, it will also provide you with incredible pleasure, regardless of whether you’re a receiver or a giver in the doggy style sex.

So, to ensure you continue enjoying your favorite position and never get tired of it, we’ve decided to gather the most useful tips for all the fans of doggy sex to help them explore their sexual pleasures even more and maybe discover something new about it.

Don’t Skip Foreplay

Sometimes, people will stop having doggy style sex because they have experienced it being uncomfortable or painful. This position is a bit more tricky than the conventional ones and sometimes it does include pain, however, preparing the body for the doggy sex will make it all go away. 

That’s why this deep and often intense position might require a bit more foreplay. If you and your partner are not that into foreplay, try to massage, lubricate or kiss the penetration point so that it’s less uncomfortable when the sex starts. Ideally, you would spend 10 to 20 minutes getting it on with your partner, from dirty talk to touching and kissing various erogenous zones.

Vertical Alternative

If you’re enjoying the doggy sex, yet your knees feel uncomfortable or you experience pain in your back, a great alternative solution would be to do it vertically. So, dust your knees and stretch your body before going into a less challenging position – vertical doggy. If this is how you feel each time when you’re kneeling on all fours, suggest your partner this position where you’ll stand up and lean forward against a wall or simply bend over a kitchen table or office desk. 

Of course, if you like both of these options, you can combine them during sex as the sensation will be completely different. You can even lean forward against a mirror in the room so you can enjoy the view of each other’s bodies. 

Forget About the Bedroom 

You already know there are variations to a doggy style sex, however, that’s not where the options stop. You can have sex in this position outside your bed and in any place of the house or even outdoors. Try it under the shower while you support your hands with the wall and lean forward and your partner penetrates easily because of the water. 

You can also try it on your couch in the living room, in the garage against the car, or on your balcony. It all depends on what your preferences are, yet one thing is for sure – the options are limitless when it comes to choosing a spot. For those who love adventure, why not park the car in the middle of the night somewhere where it’s quiet, and put down the seats so you can enjoy the good-old doggy sex?

Use a Pillow

You don’t have to reach out for a pillow only when you’re afraid you’ll wake up your neighbors with your screaming. As you probably already know, not every doggy ends in orgasm, so it’s good to look for handy tools that might help you climax better and quicker. What you will need to do is to get into the classic doggy position on all fours, and put a wedge pillow under the belly. This will enhance the external pressure of your abdomen and pelvis, providing you with incredible sensations during sex. 

Also, try to keep your hips as high in the air as possible, while also resting your head and arms on the bed. This will help your partner penetrate more easily and allow you to experience doggy style sex like never before. 

Don’t Ignore the Nipples

For women who love breast stimulation, doggy is the perfect option as it allows your partner to touch them while having sex with you. If you want to surprise your partner with this idea, just grab his hands and place them directly on your breasts. Put your hands over their hands to increase the pressure and you can even show them how you want to be touched. 

Use Your Fingers

Women will usually feel most excited when touching, rubbing, and kissing their clitoris, so why not do exactly that while your partner is behind you in a doggy style position? Just use your fingers and start touching yourself. If you need a bit of help, wet your fingers before touching your clitoris for an improved sensation. 

For those who enjoy using their fingers and sharing that game with their partner, you can also put your fingers into your partner’s mouth and tease them while having sex. Or, simply wait until you orgasm, and reward them with putting your fingers into their mouth when they pull out their penis. 

Use a Vibrator

When doing doggy sex, you can use as many sex props as you need, however, you will probably already have a vibrator at home, so why not use it? You can switch from vibrator to penis and have two different sets of sensations, you can use your vibrator as a part of foreplay, or you can even use penis and a vibrator at the same time.

Once your partner penetrates from behind, hand him the vibrator and guide him where you wish to feel these vibrations on your body. It might feel really good on the clitoris, your nipple, your neck, or your thighs. It’s up to you and your partner to discover which areas will only make the situation more steamy for the both of you!

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do