Goop – Features Amanda Pasciucco on Edging for Stronger Orgasms Article

Goop – Features Amanda Pasciucco on Edging for Stronger Orgasms


Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST, owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, and a.k.a “The Sex Healer” was interviewed in an article for Gweneth Paltrow’s goop site and lifestyle brand. You can find interesting content and products related to sexual wellness on goop.

Let’s say you’re right on the edge of coming. Now back off a sec. Can you slow down? Can you extend that pleasure? And when you come back toward orgasm: Do you notice anything different? That’s edging, or the stop-and-start technique. And it’s a tool sex therapists use to enhance pleasure.
Clinical sexologist Amanda Pasciucco says edging is all about riding the wave of arousal and building and rebuilding sexual tension. It resembles tantric sex: Edging is about enjoying the present pleasure rather than rushing to orgasm. Edging works by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which creates a more intense orgasm when you finally allow yourself to finish. It has to do with the anatomy of arousal. “Letting the blood flow circulate into the genitals and letting that come back into the body creates an embodied, sensational experience,” Pasciucco says.Sex educator Taylor Sparks often recommends edging to couples. She says the practice encourages partners to engage and pay attention to each other throughout the entire experience of sex. “You get to watch what pleases your partner,” she says.Bringing yourself (or your partner) to the edge of orgasm can be used as a form of control play, too. Like certain BDSM techniques, edging plays on the psychological thrill of wanting something you can’t have. “It’s the anticipation. You’re so close to having that oh mighty O, you’re almost there, but then it’s like, wait,” Sparks says.

Edging can also help people seeking better control over ejaculation, including premature ejaculation. Both Pasciucco and Sparks say that when people practice edging regularly, their bodies adjust to holding an erection longer.


Pasciucco recommends building arousal by focusing on your senses and your breath. Then touch your body wherever feels most exciting. Maybe glide a vibrator over your inner thighs, lower belly, pubic bone, or inner groin before moving to the clitoris. Then imagine a barometer of pleasure. On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is an orgasm, Pasciucco asks, where is 7? “We’re gonna back off as soon as we feel a 7,” Pasciucco says, “and go back down to a 5.”

It’s worth trying different kinds of sex toys to see how they enhance your practice. Engage the senses with something that feels good on the skin, like soft fabrics, floggers, feathers, or paddles. Our Double-Sided Wand Vibrator offers rumbly vibrations for a controlled buildup. And an air-pulsing vibrator like Womanizer sucks the clitoris and is a great choice for (finally) finishing.

goop Picks

  1. goop Wellness Double-Sided Wand Vibrator
  2. Womanizer Womanizer Premium 2

Devices that surround the penis and apply varied waves of pressure, like the Arcwave Ion, can engage the frenulum, an area on the underside of the penis that’s particularly packed with nerve endings. It’s not designed for edging, but it’s one way to heighten pleasure in a masturbation session—and you can use it as a tool in an edging practice.

  1. Arcwave Arcwave Ion

Don’t worry about getting edging right. The point, ultimately, is to get out of your head, get in touch with your senses, and let go of the impulse to rush to the end. “Just enjoy the journey and enjoy the act of pleasure,” Sparks says.

Written by: Zoe Moscovici | Published on: October 6, 2022

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners


If you’re searching for shibari rope and learning about tied up sex for beginners on Google, you’re not alone. 

While some couples are dedicated to discovering the best sex toys for couples—or even the most incredible sex toys period—others choose shibari rope bondage as a method to spice things up in the bedroom. 

Shibari rope bondage has been a common theme in erotic literature and art for centuries. Yet why is servitude so appealing? Well, there are many causes. While being blindfolded heightens the senses in the rest of the body, playing around with constraints can provide a thrilling adrenaline rush. Consider all the times you’ve slept off during a massage; it must have felt wonderful.

You and your partner have certainly tried a few sex tricks and ideas. How can you bring something that brings to mind twisted rope, leather fetish gear, and gimp masks into your sex lives? Continue reading for our beginner’s guide to bondage and let’s explore together the world of tied-up sex.

Ask and give consent. 

Although consent is as crucial in vanilla sex, we frequently grow accustomed to it to the point where we either forget to ask for it or excitedly provide it. However, in BDSM, you deviate from the set pattern. You and your partner must communicate frequently and clearly to ensure that everything you’re doing is safe and enjoyable since experimenting with bondage or another non-vanilla play is different from the kind of sex we’re used to seeing in the movies or on TV.

How is it possible to be completely willing while also being someone’s sex slave? How can you be both down for it and desire to get spanked, beaten, or punished? How does the person with whom you are having kinky sex know where the boundaries are? How do you express a yes or a no?

Have an escape plan. 

Although you and your partner have talked about all you wish to try in the bondage sex and things you want to avoid, there is still a need for an escape plan. You have to have a safe word or safe signal that will show your partner that you either want to fully stop or slow down. 

Some people use the color terms for communication in tied-up sex. 

For instance, yellow for slowing things down and red for stopping completely. 

If you’re tied up and you cannot speak, you can have something in your hand and drop it when you want to stop. You can also agree on certain movements to demonstrate you are not enjoying the bondage games as much as you’d like to. 

Be Clear on Each Other’s Mindset

Both of you will need to feel good about the role. If you’re the submissive one and your partner the dominant one, you should both be responsible in your roles. The dominant partner must be especially responsible, as they are controlling the situation. The submissive partner should trust them and know they are reliable in such scenarios. 

A partner who is tying up the other partner should be certain of their actions yet not controlling. This will allow the submissive partner to relax and enjoy the sex even more. And, the best way to ensure you’re both ready for your roles is to talk about it before it happens. 

Keep Learning

There is so much you can learn about tied-up sex, bondage, BDSM, and fetishes if you’re into it. Don’t think that one hard-core sex is enough to satisfy both of your needs if vanilla sex is no longer doing it for you. There are so many variations you can try out, from role-playing to different tools and toys that might help you improve your sexual life. 

You can find different sources online that can teach you how to make your BDSM side alive and satisfied. With plenty of online courses, books, blogs, and forums, you will have no issues finding interesting ideas that you’ll be eager to try out with your partner in the bedroom. 

Pre-Sex Tips

You shouldn’t start your first bondage experience with a close acquaintance, according to experts. So, even if you met them through one of the top dating websites on the internet, brand-new Tinder dates and anyone you just met online are out.

Because they don’t know how to bring up bondage with their partner, many people are discouraged from trying it out. Obtain some erotic literature or even a movie to enjoy in the privacy of your own house. Before even considering items like tools and clothing, it is the first step. Instill the idea that you might want to give it a try in your partner’s head.

Couples that can be completely honest tend to stay together and have the most fulfilling relationships. One of them might respond, “I would love to explore role-play,” if they feel comfortable enough to ask, “Let’s explore what you enjoy.” This creates an entire world of new possibilities waiting for you two to explore them. 

The best way to make something less intimidating is to offer to do it first. For example, you could say, “I’m going to wear a blindfold tonight, I’ve got this great idea – I want to try you massaging me while I’m wearing the blindfold,” and then after you’ve done it, tell them how awesome it was. 

In Final Words

Be safe; respect one another, be serious about one another, yet have fun! 

You are not doing shibari rope correctly if you are not enjoying your time in the bedroom. 

Things might seem a bit weird at the beginning as you’re doing it for the first time, yet have patience and be open-minded. 

You decided to try shibari rope out, so why not give it some time? 

Try it a few times, and explore different positions and scenarios. Talk about it with your partner before and after you have a sensual scene, to be on the same page when learning what you like and don’t like. 

If you treat shibari rope as an experience in which you can learn so much about yourself and your partner(s), you will easily find what works best for you and have fun along the way. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist

‘How to Build a Sex Room’ Netflix Serie Reviewed By a Sex Therapist


‘How to Build a Sex Room’ is one of the recent Netflix series in which Melanie Rose, an interior designer, is building a sex room for couples who want to spice up their sex lives and reconnect with their partner intimately. Although an excellent and easy-to-watch concept, this reality show soon witnessed numerous negative reviews, mostly around the lack of sex educators to discuss with the couples what they are interested in trying out and finding out the many dimensions of sex and games. 

We’ll dive into the show, respond to some of those online critics, and take a look at what could be done better in the format it was recorded.

What is ‘How to Build a Sex Room’? 

When an interior designer, Melanie Rose, steps in to assist 11 couples and a single woman to spice up their sex life with rooms packed with specialty furniture and other decor tailored to satisfy dreams and fetishes, names it ‘How to Build a Sex Room’, and launches it on Netflix, you know it’s going to be a hot topic. 

We’re already deep in summer, and the temperature continues to rise, so watching sexy and steamy content on TV might be one of the best things to watch before going to bed, while traveling to your vacation spot, or maybe at work while most of your colleagues have already set their out-of-office emails. 

Melanie Rose is an interior designer with over 15 years of experience and five years of experience designing sex rooms. So, what is a sex room? It is not your bedroom or any room you frequently use for sex. It is a space specifically built and designed for sexual activities. There are many variations of how a sex room can look, and it will mostly depend on the individual’s or couple’s preferences. It can be sensual and simple, or it can be a true sex dungeon with endless numbers of sex toys and tools. 

What’s the Fuss With the Show?

As much as all sex therapists and sex educators are enthusiastic each time we see a show that aims to educate wider audiences on sex, sexual pleasure, and physical intimacy, something was off from the start.

As an interior designer, it is obvious that Melanie Rose doesn’t have enough experience to guide and advise couples on their sex lives, yet she does that throughout the entire show. For instance, a couple that has never experimented with anything rather than vanilla sex is taken to see an intimate BDSM play between the dominatrix and her submissive partner, which surprises and even disgusts them a little bit. Keep in mind that all of these couples have different dynamics, desires, boundaries, and personalities. What one couple sees as a perfectly normal sexual activity, another couple might consider repulsive. 

Just because we say we want to try something different with our partner doesn’t mean it has to be the opposite of what we are already practicing in the bedroom or, in this case, the sex room. A couple that feels most confident in vanilla sex can do a few tweaks, introduce a new sex toy like a vibrator, and both feel sexually satisfied. Each couple is unique, and even those couples that enjoy BDSM will get turned on by some variations of it, while others will do nothing for them. 

The show lacks a deeper understanding of what sex means to a couple or an individual and how to learn what lights their fire and what they are assuming. That perspective can only be given by someone with experience working with couples in the field of sex therapy. Also, a sex therapist or a sex educator would provide more valuable insights to viewers at home who might be curious about how to improve their sex life with the resources available. 

After all, it has little to do with a cute design and everything to do with understanding yourself better sexually to be able to reconnect with your partner and give yourselves the pleasures for which you both are yearning. 

Another point to make is that the couples were shown in a very shallow way due to the format. Can you really learn about marriage or couple’s life and common issues that occur in almost every relationship if the show presents 11 couples and one single person in eight episodes? The way it was recorded showed more emphasis on the construction and design side of the project instead of sensual and sexual, making the viewers feel like they are watching just another series about home makeovers. 

The Good Side of This Show

As already said, it’s still a success to see on such a mainstream platform anything that teaches a wider audience that talking about and working on improving your sexual pleasure is completely normal and shouldn’t be considered taboo. Sex education should be available to everyone who wants to learn about it. If you can learn how to tidy your home and live a more organized life, why couldn’t you learn how to have better sex with your partner or have more frequent orgasms?

The responsibility of those creating such content is huge, however, it doesn’t mean that even a show like ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ with all its negative reviews is a step backward. It’s a step forward, and we should feel comfortable talking about it with our partners, friends, and family. That is where the true value of sex-educated content lies – in being a conversation starter and motivating us to communicate about such an important matter in our lives. 

In a way, Melanie Rose and her team managed to add sexual pleasure as a topic in dining conversations, casual talks, and self-observation moments. It’s up to us what we will make of it. Maybe you will go to your partner and share your hidden sexual fantasy or give yourself the right to explore your body to learn what gives you pleasure. Maybe, you will motivate your friends to talk more about sexual experiences and desires, or you will start researching more about sexuality. Whatever you decide to do, it will impact your sex life and help you enjoy sex more.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Therapy Exercises

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home

Sex Therapy Exercises To Do At Home


If you thought that sex therapy involves only talking, you’ll be happy to hear there’s also homework in a form of sex therapy exercises. You and your partner may try to improve the quality of your sexual life or solve a few issues in the bedroom. These exercises can provide much value to you as a couple and strengthen your relationship beyond sex. 

These exercises are typically assigned during sex therapy, in which a therapist assigns homework tailored to you as a couple. Let’s take a look at what are sex therapy exercises and give you the motivation you need to ace this. 

About Sex Therapy Exercises

It’s completely normal to want to improve the quality of your sex life, and it doesn’t necessarily imply you are unsatisfied in bed. Not to mention that to enjoy sex and connect better with your partner sexually requires both of you to do different exercises related to sex and intimacy. Not too bad, right?

If you’ve already done the talk with your partner, started the sex therapy, and you’re both curious to see how these exercises can bring more fun into your four walls – and maybe outside them, all that’s left to do is to roll your sleeves and get started with your marital homework. 

The true value of sex exercises for couples is that it teaches them what is fundamental for each partner to consider they had great sex, while also broadening horizons and trying out things you never knew you even like. 

Like it is with everything, practice makes perfect. With sex, there is so much more involved than chemistry. Individuals prefer different things and styles of sex, and often, they need different things to get excited. To enjoy sex means that both partners will need to be satisfied with their sexual activities, not just one. 

Why Couples Need Sex Therapy Exercices

There can be many reasons why a couple started with sex therapy. A loss of intimacy because of a certain event or trauma, lack of orgasm from one or both partners, and reduced libido are the most common reasons why someone will consider going to sex therapy, however, there can be numerous reasons for it.

When couples start working on their sex life and intimacy with a guidance of a therapist, they will notice improvements in communication, especially in the bedroom, deeper emotional connection,  and a stronger relationship in general. If you’re a bit nervous about these exercises, keep in mind that you’ll first establish the trust with the therapist and go through a bit of talking before getting this interesting homework.

That said, you’ll definitely need to practice these exercises with your partner and be dedicated to making things better in your sex life. These are the questions you can expect to hear from your sex therapist: 

  • What did you do this week that made your partner loved?
  • Also, What can you do to improve this during the following week?
  • What can you do to make your intimacy a priority?
  • Also, What did you notice lately that works well for you in sex?
  • What things would you like to see more in bed or from your partner to enjoy more sex?

These and similar questions can be a part of your sex therapy because they show your therapist what you both need, while also allowing both of you to express what you need in a safe environment. 

Types of Sex Therapy Exercises

As already explained, there are many different kinds of sex exercises that you and your partner can practice at home, yet there are three of them that are most commonly recommended to improve sexual connection and intimacy between partners. 


The best way to improve both sex and intimacy is through hugging. Although it’s not an erotic exercise that requires couples to be naked, it has proven to be a very efficient exercise in both couple and sex therapy. A couple will hug each other until they both feel at ease and relax. You should hug your partner, and at the same time, they should hug you. The idea is to connect mutually instead of one being the caregiver and the other caretaker. 

Heads on Pillows

Not as known as hugging, heads on pillows is yet another great exercise for restoring intimacy between partners. Both partners will lie down with their heads on their pillows and face each other. The idea is to quiet the mind and heart, and simply look into the partner’s eyes. There can be a bit of touching, yet avoid erotic areas or anything else that might distract you from the exercise. 

Feeling when Touching

Just like the first two exercises, this one cannot lead to sex either. Partners should lay down and one should start touching the other. Restain from touching genitals or any erotic areas, and focus on what you feel while you are touching your partner. Once a person can touch their partner for about 10 minutes, they can switch roles. Talking is also not encouraged, as it takes you away from the exercises.

Ready, Set, Practice!

It might be unusual for you to see that most common sex exercises have nothing or little to do with sex. The reason for that is that to have great sex, partners should first feel the connection between them. You truly need to see and feel your partner in order to connect sexually and achieve orgasm. 

Also, don’t get discouraged. It takes time to feel comfortable with this type of exercise, so make sure you and your partners are taking it easy. Be curious about the process and keep your mind on the objective. These exercises are created to make you both enjoy each other even more, yet it takes time to fully get there. 

Until then, treat it as your sexy homework. After all, have you ever been assigned homework this cool? We doubt it, so make sure you are making the most of it. Communicate with your partner how you feel about these exercises to remind yourself of the reason why you are doing all of it.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

sensate focus

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?


Have you ever heard of sensate focus? It is a technique that improves intimacy and communication around sex between partners, while also reducing sexual performance anxiety, and abandoning any sexual pattern that doesn’t serve a couple. The sensate focus technique was developed 60 years ago by Dr. William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and involves a series of touching exercises a couple completes in one sequence. 

The goal of sensate focus is for partners to let go of the expectations and judgments around mutual touching, and rather focus only on the sensory aspects of touch, such as texture, temperature, and pressure. Master and Johnson created this technique to help couples relax and be more mindful of the sensual touching experience, without the burden of preconceived ideas of what should occur. 

Also known as mindful touching or non-orgasm-focused touch, the sensate focus has proved to help improve intimacy and quality of sex life for many couples, especially those who have issues with body image, desire, arousal, orgasm, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 


You will find many variations of this technique, yet the founders have outlined it as a process that involves five steps. 

1. Non-Genital Touching

The first step requires both partners to be clean, unclothed, and well-rested. If they don’t feel comfortable being naked, they can choose to wear comfortable clothes that are not restraining them in any way. One partner is the toucher and the other one is the receiver in the first step of the sensate focus. Halfway through the initial steps, the partners will switch roles, so both of them can experience what it’s like to be the toucher and the receiver. 

The receiver will lie down in a position that feels comfortable for them, while the toucher touches them anywhere on the body which is not breasts or genitals. The idea is to enjoy the sensuality of touch instead of using it as a tool for sexual arousal or stimulation. Even if one partner or both of them become sexually excited, they should resist the temptation to have sex because it leads to the same sexual partners. The founders of sensate focus suggest 15 minutes as the maximum time to explore all the sensations touching and being touched can arise in a person. 

2. Genital and Breast Touching

In the second step, the partners will continue with the same structure, however, the genitals and breasts are no longer “off limits”. Partners are still focused on exploring which sensations they feel when immersed in the power of a touch, instead of sexual stimulation. In other words, the toucher shouldn’t spend more time touching the genitals and breasts than any other body area. One of the partners will likely become aroused in this step, yet they should continue with the technique, instead of turning it into a sexual encounter.

Here, the couple can utilize the hand riding technique, which allows them to use their hand to give nonverbal cues like slightly increasing the pressure. If using this technique, the receiver must sit in between the legs of their partner to feel even more connected.

3. Adding Lotion or Lubricant

In step three, you will repeat everything from the previous step, only with the addition of oil or lotion when touching the body and a lubricant for the genital touching. The founders of the sensate focus believed that adding lotion or lubricant improves sensory awareness by altering the medium of touch. 

The important thing to know is that the oil or lotion used for body touching mustn’t be cold, so you should warm it before you dive into exploring this technique or simply warn it in your hands before putting it on the receiver’s body. 

4. Mutual Touching

Now, both partners will be allowed to touch each other at the same time. There are no more roles, and both can be the receiver and the toucher at once. The basic principles from the third step stay, however, when mutually touching each other, partners should resist their desire for sexual intercourse. Instead, they should continue with the mindset of noticing all the sensations and feelings of touch.  

Also, couples can now use their lips and tongue to touch each other, yet still without kissing or oral sex. This ensures they don’t go back to their old sexual patterns and discover a completely new level of sensuality and connection caused by sensory appreciation.

5. Sensual Intercourse

Masters and Johnson coined the term “sensual intercourse” to describe the last phase of sensate focus. Throughout the entire technique, the couple was focused on building a new level of awareness when it comes to touching. Ergo, they shouldn’t revert to their old sexual behaviors, which were often mechanical and orgasm-driven. 

Partners should continue practicing mindfulness when sensually touching each other by becoming aware of the temperature, texture, and shape of their genitals. They might decide to insert and remove fingers or penis into the vagina several times before continuing. Some couples choose to vary their breathing and observe how it affects the sensations, while others might decide to continue with touching. Whichever the choice, both partners should stay aware of the magic of touch and all the physical sensations it awakens in them. 


By abandoning your old sexual patterns and behaviors, you are able to connect on a new level with your partner. As most sex and romantic partners start touching each other as foreplay that aims to lead to sexual intercourse. Sensate focus allows us to explore how we feel about the touch and how our partner is reacting when we touch them.

This strengthens intimacy and sexual connections between partners, and more importantly, it helps them to discover new dimensions of their sexuality. It breaks the limits of sex only being the same series of actions, typically only orgasm-driven. And introduces a new way of understanding how powerful touching our loved ones can be in itself. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

doggy style

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 


There’s no surprise if we say that doggy style sex is one of the most popular sex positions, right? To avoid being stuck in the missionary position or any of those you and your sex partner like to practice frequently, switching to doggy sex will provide you with so much more than just dynamics in sex, it will also provide you with incredible pleasure, regardless of whether you’re a receiver or a giver in the doggy style sex.

So, to ensure you continue enjoying your favorite position and never get tired of it, we’ve decided to gather the most useful tips for all the fans of doggy sex to help them explore their sexual pleasures even more and maybe discover something new about it.

Don’t Skip Foreplay

Sometimes, people will stop having doggy style sex because they have experienced it being uncomfortable or painful. This position is a bit more tricky than the conventional ones and sometimes it does include pain, however, preparing the body for the doggy sex will make it all go away. 

That’s why this deep and often intense position might require a bit more foreplay. If you and your partner are not that into foreplay, try to massage, lubricate or kiss the penetration point so that it’s less uncomfortable when the sex starts. Ideally, you would spend 10 to 20 minutes getting it on with your partner, from dirty talk to touching and kissing various erogenous zones.

Vertical Alternative

If you’re enjoying the doggy sex, yet your knees feel uncomfortable or you experience pain in your back, a great alternative solution would be to do it vertically. So, dust your knees and stretch your body before going into a less challenging position – vertical doggy. If this is how you feel each time when you’re kneeling on all fours, suggest your partner this position where you’ll stand up and lean forward against a wall or simply bend over a kitchen table or office desk. 

Of course, if you like both of these options, you can combine them during sex as the sensation will be completely different. You can even lean forward against a mirror in the room so you can enjoy the view of each other’s bodies. 

Forget About the Bedroom 

You already know there are variations to a doggy style sex, however, that’s not where the options stop. You can have sex in this position outside your bed and in any place of the house or even outdoors. Try it under the shower while you support your hands with the wall and lean forward and your partner penetrates easily because of the water. 

You can also try it on your couch in the living room, in the garage against the car, or on your balcony. It all depends on what your preferences are, yet one thing is for sure – the options are limitless when it comes to choosing a spot. For those who love adventure, why not park the car in the middle of the night somewhere where it’s quiet, and put down the seats so you can enjoy the good-old doggy sex?

Use a Pillow

You don’t have to reach out for a pillow only when you’re afraid you’ll wake up your neighbors with your screaming. As you probably already know, not every doggy ends in orgasm, so it’s good to look for handy tools that might help you climax better and quicker. What you will need to do is to get into the classic doggy position on all fours, and put a wedge pillow under the belly. This will enhance the external pressure of your abdomen and pelvis, providing you with incredible sensations during sex. 

Also, try to keep your hips as high in the air as possible, while also resting your head and arms on the bed. This will help your partner penetrate more easily and allow you to experience doggy style sex like never before. 

Don’t Ignore the Nipples

For women who love breast stimulation, doggy is the perfect option as it allows your partner to touch them while having sex with you. If you want to surprise your partner with this idea, just grab his hands and place them directly on your breasts. Put your hands over their hands to increase the pressure and you can even show them how you want to be touched. 

Use Your Fingers

Women will usually feel most excited when touching, rubbing, and kissing their clitoris, so why not do exactly that while your partner is behind you in a doggy style position? Just use your fingers and start touching yourself. If you need a bit of help, wet your fingers before touching your clitoris for an improved sensation. 

For those who enjoy using their fingers and sharing that game with their partner, you can also put your fingers into your partner’s mouth and tease them while having sex. Or, simply wait until you orgasm, and reward them with putting your fingers into their mouth when they pull out their penis. 

Use a Vibrator

When doing doggy sex, you can use as many sex props as you need, however, you will probably already have a vibrator at home, so why not use it? You can switch from vibrator to penis and have two different sets of sensations, you can use your vibrator as a part of foreplay, or you can even use penis and a vibrator at the same time.

Once your partner penetrates from behind, hand him the vibrator and guide him where you wish to feel these vibrations on your body. It might feel really good on the clitoris, your nipple, your neck, or your thighs. It’s up to you and your partner to discover which areas will only make the situation more steamy for the both of you!


Check Out All Our Additional Sex Therapy Video

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

Sex Therapy for Premature Ejaculation and Erection Issues

Female Orgasm Video Therapy

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Lesbian Orgasm

Your Ultimate Guide To Better Lesbian Orgasm

Your Ultimate Guide To Better Lesbian Orgasm


If you are a woman who loves dating other women, learning about a lesbian orgasm is vital for both your sex life and your relationship. From learning which positions provide great pleasure to understanding how a body with a vagina works, this guide will provide you with it all.

You never had sex with a woman yet feel curious to find out what you can expect? We will reveal all the tips and tricks to make your first time as magical as possible.

Lesbian Sex

The difference between lesbian sex and sex between the opposite sexes is that to achieve orgasm, clitoral stimulation is crucial. So, it is vital to know everything about the ways to use the clitoris and give an orgasm to your partner. As much as it is true that stimulation is a big part of lesbian sex, you can still enjoy penetrative sex as much as you would enjoy clitoral stimulation. The choice is entirely up to you and your sexual partner!

When compared to hetero sex, clitoris and other erogenous zones are a bigger priority than just the act of penetration. As stimulation provides a different sensation than penetration, many bisexual people say they experience more pleasure while having sex with women than men. 

If you are looking for inspiration, take a look at some of the most popular sex positions among lesbian couples that will bring incredible satisfaction to you and your partner in bed and everywhere else you like to get freaky!

It’s 69 O’clock!

This position is among favorites among lesbians couples as it allows each partner to give and receive clitoral stimulation. One person will need to lie on top of the other, facing each other in the opposite direction. In other words, your feet should be where their head is, and your partner should do the same. With 69, both of you will be able to have your mouths right next to each other’s vagina.

The great thing about this 69 is that you can easily switch positions, so both of you can be on the top during sex. For those who will not feel comfortable with this top-bottom position, you can also practice 69 on the side. Whichever of these two options you choose, you will not be disappointed! 

Let Me Sit On Your Face!

If you like dominative and submissive games, face sitting is an excellent position to have fun with it. The person on top (dominant) will sit on the face of the other person (submissive) who is in the laying position. For those who enjoy role-playing, you can even include that as well when in this position.

The person sitting on someone’s face is in complete control, getting all the pleasure they can get from this position where mouth and tongue stimulate the clitoris. 

The Good Old Doggy! 

Most people will think of hetero couples when talking about the doggy-style position, yet many lesbian couples will recommend it to any rookie joining the club. Simply by adding a strap-on, partners can make the most of the doggy style and achieve great pleasure for both of them. The reason why doggy-style sex is so pleasant for partners with vaginas is the receiving partner can stimulate the nipple and clitoris with the fingers or a vibrator while the other partner is behind. 

This position is a good choice for anyone who loves deep penetration. Due to the angle of penetration, the doggy style brings great satisfaction to the person on all fours. If you are looking to take it one step further, why not blindfold and tie the hands of the receiving partner and heighten their senses that way?

Stretch Me, Baby!

The stretch is very similar to doggy style, so the chances are if you are a fan of one, you will probably enjoy the other one as well. With this position, the partner will slide underneath the other partner while lying on their back. Either you or your partner will stay on all fours and stretch the arms out in front. At the same time, you will need to raise the bottom as high as possible for a better feel. In other words, one partner will be underneath the other who will support their body with hands and knees. 

This position provides both partners with an incredible sensation and is more intense for the partner doing the stretching. So, if you were looking for something new to try in the bedroom, stretching is the position the both of you will surely enjoy!

Bossing Around!

If you like being in control during sex, this is what you need to make the most of your sexual experiences. You will sit in a chair or on the edge of your bed and spread your legs wide. Under your feet, you will place a pillow and tell your partner to crawl between your legs. Then, you will wrap your legs around their neck to find the right angle and use your hips to navigate your partner.  

This position can be just the start of you bossing your partner. You can tell them to be quiet and follow your instructions. Guide them during the entire time on what you need to achieve an orgasm.

Vibrate My Nipples!

Of course, there are plenty of couples who are not into the penetration game. If you were thinking of vibrators as toys for penetrating, it might surprise you once you have experienced their stimulation potential! For many people, nipples are an erogenous zone, and just by someone touching, licking, kissing, and biting their nipples, they achieve great pleasure. So, why not use the power of the good old vibrator and graze it along the nipples to experience something completely different?

You can use it for foreplay and during sex, depending on how you want things to go. One thing is for sure, you both will enjoy it and come back to the nipple game a few times more. Once you get tired of it, you can buy a differently shaped vibrator or change the speed on the one you have, and you will be more than amazed!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How To Have Sex Like A Porn Star

How To Have Sex Like A Porn Star

How To Have Sex Like A Porn Star


Curious to learn how to have sex like a porn star? Believe it or not, many will be looking into tips and tricks from their favorite porn movies or porn stars to spice things up in the bedroom. And let’s face it, life is truly too short not to enjoy good sex whenever and wherever you want it. 

If you’re looking to turn your wildest, craziest fantasies into reality, this probably means you’re ready to dive into the world of porn stars for inspiration. To help you make the most of your sex life and have fun with your sex partner. Take a look at our suggestions on how to become a porn star in your own life!

#1 Press Record

The difference between porn stars and everyone else is they are recording themselves having sex. Well, you might not have a production team in your bedroom and all that fancy equipment, yet it’s possible to record your wildest moments and keep them as great memories. If you haven’t recorded yourself having sex before, you might feel a bit uncomfortable the first time.

Regardless, make sure you enjoy it and don’t be shy to be yourself just because your camera is on. Forget completely that these moments are being recorded and connect with your sexual partner as you have connected during the previous times. 

#2 Dress Up

When was the last time you spent money on nice lingerie or underwear? Men or women, we all like to put a nice piece of clothing to flirt with our partner and use it as an invitation for sex. Order online or make an event out of it and go shopping alone, with friends, or even with your sexual partner. 

If you want to level it up, you can even buy a costume for a role play. For instance, your partner might have shared their fantasies about the doctor-nurse scenario, so why not buy a uniform and surprise them when they come from work? Whatever your choice is, make sure that it’s used to enhance your foreplay and sex.

#3 Own The Dirty Talk

If you’ve ever seen a porn movie (we know you have!), you’ve probably noticed all the dirty. Playful words porn stars are using. Sex is not just about physical, you can enjoy it from so many other angles, and one of them is verbal. Share with your partner how bad you want it with your dirty talk and encourage them to talk dirty to you too!

However, before going into all of that, make sure you have communicated it with your partner, so they don’t get surprised or offended once you start throwing a few dirty words around. The best thing to do is to start small and see where you both feel comfortable with dirty talk. 

#4 Open Your Sex Life

If you’re not a complete monogamist or you’d like to explore non-monogamy concepts, how about inviting another person to your bed? If you’re in a long-term, serious relationship, start a conversation with your partner and ask for their opinion on it. Of course, you will do the same if it’s with a person who is your sex partner, only there is more risk with relationships.

You might decide to have a threesome or group sex, and the most important thing about it is to practice safe sex. Including more people in your sexual life requires more attention and preparation, both physically and emotionally. If you discover that having sex with more people at the same time is something that excites you. You can start practicing it more and discover something new about your pleasure with each experience.

#5 Try BDSM

When talking about porn movies, BDSM is one of the most popular categories people enjoy watching. So, if you’re curious to try it out, why not suggest to your partner a night of hot BDSM passion? However, as pleasure is intertwined with pain in the BDSM world. You will need to talk about the limitations and what things are off the table. Most couples will determine a safe word they will use once they want to end the foreplay or the sex.

Also, you will notice that BDSM consists of a wide range of different techniques. So make sure you go into it step by step. Another thing that would be quite useful to know before you start exploring the BDSM world is to think about the aftercare element. As things can get rough, it’s nice to know that you and your partner can go back to hugging, kissing, cuddling. And deep conversation after you’ve had the orgasms of your lives. 

#6 Watch Porn

If you’re determined to start having wild sex with your partner, you will need a source of inspiration. After all, our tricks can only do so much, right? So, why not dive into an endless library of porn movies you can filter by your own interests? Instead of having a movie night on Friday. Why not have a porn movie night with your partner and discover new things you’d like to try in the bedroom?

Browse through different categories, read what other users are recommending. And you can even join forums and chats where you can also inspire other people with your sex ideas. Such places are great to inspire you and also to connect you with a like-minded group of people. Those who are looking for an extra in their sexual relationship might even find them there.

In Conclusion

To do it like a porn star, you will need to be ready to look deep into your fantasies. Share them with your partner. And start practicing them in the bedroom. If you’re not used to wild, free sex without limitations, it will take a while for you to get used to it. And don’t worry if some of the things you try out don’t work. There is plenty of ideas waiting for you to turn them into reality!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction & Its Impact on Relationships

Erectile Dysfunction & Its Impact on Relationships


There are no perfect relationships, so it’s completely normal to ask questions about the issues that appear in them, Such as erectile dysfunction and its impact on relationships. Of course, there are other emotional and physical problems a couple can have, yet noticing the lack of honest. Valuable conversation around erectile dysfunction (ED) proves the need of talking about it. 

This common condition results in difficulties in sexual activities with another person and sometimes, it even leads to a loss of intimacy in relationships and marriages, which then affects the mental wellbeing of the couple. 

So, what is exactly erectile dysfunction, why it happens and how it impacts long-term relationships and marriage? Read all about it in this article. 

What is ED?

Erectile dysfunction, also referred to as ED, is the inability to get or keep a man’s erection firm enough to have successful sexual intercourse. When it happens occasionally, erectile dysfunction is nothing unusual as many men will experience it during stressful times. However, if the ED becomes frequent, it might be a sign of health problems that require certain treatment. 

Besides health issues, it’s important to say that ED can be a result of emotional or relationship difficulties which will also need the help of a professional in order to be resolved. So, what causes the ED? 

It occurs because of issues at any point in the man’s erection process. An erection comes as a result of increased blood flow into the penis. This blood flow is stimulated by one of these two options: sexual thoughts or direct contact with the penis.

So, when a man gets sexually excited, the muscles in his penis will start relaxing. This will get the blood flow through the penile arteries by filling two chambers which once filled with blood, the penis will start growing. The erection is considered done when the muscles contract so that the accumulated blood can flow out through the veins in the penis.

Causes of ED

There are numerous possible causes of erectile dysfunction and, as mentioned, they can involve both emotional and physical conditions. Some of the most common causes are cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, obesity, kidney disease and low testosterone levels. 

When talking about mental health, there are also various possible causes of ED, such as stress, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and even Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis. 

However, these causes can even be the result of the lifestyle a person has. For instance, erectile dysfunction can occur due to relationship problems, prescription medications, drug use, alcohol or tobacco consumption. 

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by one of the mentioned factors or even several of them. That’s why it’s vital to seek help from an adequate professional and get the treatment on time. 

How ED Affects Relationships

When in a long-term relationship or marriage. ED is definitely something you wish to prevent from happening, so how to act when it happens? The important thing is not to panic as erectile dysfunction is treatable in most cases. There are numerous effective treatments available that can successfully restore sexual function and enhance satisfaction in the relationship that way.

With that being said, it’s possible that a person will need to try out more than one treatment until they find the option that works best for them. During the entire process, their partner should be open, caring and supportive. Knowing that your partner is with you will help you feel less stressed about the treatment. Which can also have positive effects on your ED. 

When faced with ED, the person will most likely be recommended some of the following approaches:

  • Open communication
  • Counseling
  • Practicing other forms of intimacy
  • Changes in your lifestyle
  • Honest and open communication

Understanding that ED is a common condition that happens to many men around the world, you should know that feelings such as guilt and embarrassment will only worsen the situation. That’s why it’s always recommended to practice other forms of intimacy so that you and your partner can still feel close to each other while you’re treating your ED.

Erectile Dysfunction Treatment

The right treatment for erectile dysfunction will greatly depend on the cause of it. Sometimes, a person will need only talk therapy to solve the issue successfully and other times, a combination of treatments will be required. 

The doctor might even prescribe you medications to help you deal better with the ED symptoms. With that being said, it might even take several medications until you find the one that works best for you. These are some of the medications prescribed to people with ED to stimulate blood flow to the penis: 

  • Avanafil 
  • Sildenafil
  • Vardenafil 
  • Tadalafil 
  • Alprostadil 

You should never take any of these medications before consulting a doctor as they might not be suitable for you and they might even have an effect on other medications you are taking. 

Another common way of treating ED is with talk therapy as many causes of ED are actually psychological. Such as stress, anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. You can expect to go over various topics with your therapist like stress or anxiety factors, how you feel about sex and subconscious conflicts that might affect your sex drive.

If your relationship is affected by ED and you feel as if you and your partner can use therapy to have a space for a healthy conversation. You should also consider relationship counseling. 

Another method of treatment you will probably hear about is vacuum pumps. It is a treatment that uses the creation of a vacuum to stimulate the erection. As the device is working, the blood is drawn into the penis causing an erection. This method of treatment is usually recommended when the cause is physical.

Don’t Ignore it!

As much as it can get uncomfortable for you to talk about erectile dysfunction. Keep in mind that it’s a common condition that can happen to any man on the planet. A lot of factors can lead to ED, so blaming yourself or feeling ashamed to share this with someone shouldn’t be a part of your coping mechanism. Instead, think of it as part of your sexual health and do everything you can to resolve it and make sure you feel 100% like yourself again! 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

how to last longer in bed

How to Last Longer in Bed


Amanda Pasciucco, LCAT founder was interviewed by for this article.

Experts Take On Lasting Longer During Sex


Lasting longer in bed is a desire of most men. The reality is that it takes much more time for a woman to reach orgasm than for a man. Finishing before their partners can make males feel insecure regarding their sexual performance.


Although the intensity and what do you do during sex is more important than the time length, there are tricks that you can use to ensure that you will last longer in bed.


To give you the best advice possible, we decided to not limit this article to our experience and knowledge so we reached out to 50 sex experts and ask them the following question:


What is your best advice for men who want to last longer in bed?


We received a variety of tips that range from physical exercises, breathing techniques, to dealing with your emotions and improving the way you communicate with your partner.


Keep reading to see what the experts had to say.


Jessica O’Reilly – Sex With Dr Jess
Jessica O'Reilly


I offer a full online course on how to last longer in bed and overcome premature ejaculation in 6 steps. This involves:


1. Mindfulness practices in masturbation
2. Intentional masturbation to reduce external stimuli
3. Pelvic floor exercises to better understand the muscles that respond to arousal and ejaculation
4. Cognitive-behavioural adjustments to reframe expectations and reduce performance pressure
5. Sex education related to the sexual response cycle and how the body functions during arousal, orgasm and ejaculation

If you want to try an exercise on your own, try basic mindful masturbation:

Touch your entire body for pleasure for 10-20 minutes without trying to reach orgasm. Explore from head to toe. Don’t get hung up on your genitals, but don’t ignore them either.


Tune into your unique responses and physical sensations. What are there textures, pressure, rhythm, movements, temperatures and other sensations you feel in your skin?

Try this every day for a week and see what changes in your body. Can you start to recognize when ejaculation is imminent? What can you do to stave it off? Does slowing down help? How about changing positions or loosening your grip?


Our intention here isn’t to simply last longer, but to enjoy the process. There is no sense in “lasting longer” via distraction that detracts from pleasure; the point is to have the option to prolong the experience and also genuinely enjoy it.

As you tune into your body’s responses, you’ll likely find that your ability to be more present and enjoy pleasure (without worrying about orgasm/ejaculation) increases.

You may also want to experiment with different breathing patterns while you masturbate.

Try breathing more slowly and deeply. Take a big deep breath in and exhale slowly and purposefully; align your strokes with your breath to really slow things down.


See how the sensations and pleasure change as you slow your breath, but don’t worry about how long you last; simply enjoy and observe the process.


Diana Wiley – Dear Dr Diana

Diana Wiley

My advice for men who want to last longer in bed.

This is a frequent concern in my sex therapy practice. It’s frustrating for a man (as well as his partner) if he ejaculates too soon after intercourse begins.


A woman may want her lover to be able to thrust for a longer time to help her achieve more sexual satisfaction. I have two key pointers for this situation.

First, sometimes just being able to talk about it with your partner can relieve some of the anxiety at the root of the problem.


Performance anxiety releases stress hormones, which play havoc with a man’s sexual response. Repeated experiences can lead to this becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Recognize that this is a couple’s problem—not just the man’s problem. Have some frank and heartfelt discussions, and do some research together to explore the varied treatment options (exercises, medications, counseling, etc.).

Second, see if you can cultivate a playful attitude about the issue. Sure, it can feel devastating at the time, but with help you can make progress. In the meantime, try to lighten up and not take it so seriously.


Sex is not a “job” or a “task” to complete. Relax and enjoy the process. And also avoid blaming each other. Work together and remind each other that this is not really about performance or perfection.


Megan Fleming – Great Life Great Sex

Megan Fleming

My best advice for men who want to last longer, backed up by Lori Brotto’s extensive clinical research is… to be in the moment, mindfulness, while knowing that the foundation of arousal is relaxation.


In my 20 years of clinical experience in NYC, I can tell you the #1 reason men come to my office is related to performance anxiety.


It can show up in ejaculating sooner than you’d like, finding it really difficult or not even being able to ejaculate with a partner or having difficulties getting or maintaining an erection.


Almost ubiquitously every single one of them was so interested and focused on giving their partner pleasure that they got into their heads and how it’s going to go or fear it will go (I call this anti-fantasy) and well, since none of that is erotic they unwittingly and unconsciously inhibit their own arousal.


Nina Rubin – After Deafeat

Nina Rubin

If a man wants to last longer in bed, he could wait longer to have intercourse.


Much of the time, sex is considered as intercourse: penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus.


When also considering oral sex and performing it on a partner, that can be completely satisfying for the receiver and very much a turn-on for the giver.


There are many more sexual activities that will bring both people pleasure and prolong intercourse.


Consider massage, experimenting with kinks, and stimulating your partner.


Dainis Graveris – Sexual Alpha

Dainis Graveris

Stop your lousy masturbation habits. Most men have problems lasting longer in bed because of them. I personally experienced erectile dysfunction in my younger years because of porn overuse. If you want to resolve this issue, stop watching porn. In a few weeks, you’ll notice how sexy and attractive real women become.

Get fit and fix your health. Aside from looking more attractive to women, getting fit boosts your health and improves your performance in bed. Any exercise that elevates your heart rate for at least 30 minutes thrice a week will improve your cardiovascular health.

You’ll also notice how you can stay physically active for longer. Plus, an improvement in metabolism, including blood circulation to your heart, lungs, and (yup, you guessed it right) your penis.

And it’s not just about getting enough exercise. Cut drinking, smoking, and eating junk food. All these will hurt your health and your sex life. Make better health choices if you want to improve your love life and your life as a whole.

Strengthen your PC muscles by doing Kegel exercises. First, you need to know how to isolate your PC muscles. These are the muscles you use to stop peeing, and that’s actually a perfect time to start your Kegels. When you take a leak, stop yourself for 5-10 seconds by squeezing these muscles as strongly as possible and then releasing them.

In two weeks, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your control. You can then do regular Kegels anywhere besides the comfort room. For example, you can do it while sitting at your desk, driving, having lunch, etc. Don’t worry. Nobody will know what’s happening down there.

Do a mix of 30 quick squeezes and releases, followed by 5-10 seconds of holding your muscles and repeating it 5 times. Do this no more than 10 minutes per day.

Do the stop-start or edging technique. It involves stopping all sexual stimulation temporarily when you feel you’re about to cum. Once this feeling has passed, you can go back and stimulate each other. You can practice edging by yourself or with your partner. If you do it by yourself, make sure to focus.

Remember your Kegels? When you edge, you get yourself hard, get close to ejaculation, and squeeze your PC muscles as hard as you can, and hold it for 10 seconds.

While you’re squeezing, take deep, relaxed breaths. Imagine moving the sexual energy from your penis area to your whole body with each breath. Learn to control yourself as well as be aware of your hardness levels.


Switch positions and mix things up. Learn how your body works so you’ll know what positions make you less aroused and which ones make you cum sooner. If you find yourself getting too close to ejaculation, switch positions. Change the angle or tempo to make sex feel different.

Even if you’ve penetrated your partner, no rule states that you have to stay inside. It can be fun to thrust a few times, withdraw, and use your fingers to keep going. Teasing your partner this way will increase the intensity of the pleasure too.

Don’t be afraid to bring in backup (AKA sex toys). Make things easier by getting some sex toys to help you last longer. For example, when you’re about to cum, you can first withdraw and use a vibrator or dildo on your partner. Doing so helps you go back to step 1 and brings more pleasure to your partner.

When using any toy, make sure you don’t just pull the toy in and out. Instead, let your partner instruct you on the spot and then simply keep pressing up and down or a little bit back and forth. Adding toys to your sex life will not make you less of a man.

There’s still no toy that can replace a man and sensations you can bring with your magic touch, masculine energy, and passionate kisses. Ask any woman.


Anya Laeta – Sf Sex Coaching

Anya Laeta

To last longer with a partner, you need to learn how to last longer alone.


A lot of men for years “train” themselves to finish within minutes while masturbating.


It’s no wonder that is exactly what their body does in partnered sex.


Allowing yourself to take your time, breathe, and relax more during solo sex, as well as becoming comfortable with edging, will help you establish better ejaculation control.


Dr. Teralyn Sell

Teralyn Sell

For a man who wants to last longer in bed do the following:


1. Seek medical advice – Seek guidance from a medical professional to help rule out any underlying medical conditions.


2. Evaluate pornography use – Pornography impacts sexual physical, mental and sexual health in many ways and we aren’t talking about it enough.


3. Get out of your head (meaning your brain) – Use breathing and mindfulness techniques in the bedroom instead of worrying and stressing about lasting long enough.


Maj Wismann – Web Sexolog

Maj Wismann

As a Master of Sexology and clinical sexologist this is a question I hear many times during a workweek.


If you want to last longer in bed as a man you can focus on the mastery of your excitement and arousal.


This is something you can practice and learn to know your body’s signals.


When you are a Master of your body’s signals you can learn to slow down – move the focus to your partner etc. and in this way you can drag on the ejaculation and orgasm.


Audrey Hope – Ask Audrey Now

Audrey Hope

For men who want to last longer in bed, they must take a new inner approach to sex, change their perception and RELAX.


You can’t just pressure your sexual organs to make them do what you want. Our bodies need another way to communicate.


For men, it can’t be just about performance, that puts pressure to be superficially “good in bed.”


To last longer, learn self-esteem and not the need to prove yourself.


Get into the way it is making you feel and the joy of pleasing your partner. Have sex because you want to please another and share divine experiences.


Alma Ramirez-Acosta – Vibio

Alma Ramirez-Acosta

A simple step towards lasting longer in bed is to spend more time pleasuring your partner at the beginning of the session.


It sounds obvious, but it will help even up the stage of arousal between you.

For a more long-term approach, combining breathwork and edging gives great results.


This means that you should practice getting to the point right before climax and stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and repeat this cycle as many times as possible.


Edging helps you understand your body’s arousal journey, from stimulation to climax, and gain control over what you want to happen next or when.


Bonus point, it will give you explosive orgasms thanks to all the build up!

When practicing lasting longer in bed, the most important thing to bear in mind is that it is as much of a physical exercise as a mental exercise.


We often underestimate how our minds take control over our bodies, whether it is in the shape of nerves, low self-esteem or disbelief in our own capabilities.


But doubting ourselves in bed is something we all go through in one way or another – it’s all about unlearning what we think we should be and focusing on turning sex into the most pleasurable, fun experience possible.


Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Remove the stigma.

Stop getting in your head so much. Remember how your parents would tell you not to lose sleep over a problem, and how relaxing will help?


That advice turned out to be timeless and is actually the key to understanding how you can subconsciously get some control.


Often men are too worried and end up underperforming in the bedroom, which causes greater anxiety and leads you into a downward spiral. Watch out for the signs – and trust me, your partner just wants to help and doesn’t judge you for it.

Practice makes perfect!

Nobody expects you to turn into a rowdy porn star overnight. Foreplay is your best friend, so take your time to really study your partner.


Consider using a thicker condom to decrease sensation and practice building control by stopping just before ejaculation and waiting 10-20 seconds, taking deep breaths, and squeezing the head.

Expand your definition of sex.

There’s a lot more to intimacy than just vaginal sex. In fact, that’s just a small part of the overall experience, so why not try to mix things up?


Communication with your partner is key – so work together to see what else works for you.


A lot of my clients enjoy watching new types of porn together and discover something they’ve often never even thought of! Be brave, be curious, and be unexpected!


Sonya Schwartz – Her Norm

Sonya Schwartz

I’ve been a relationship expert and I can say that there are indeed people that are concerned about how fast they end sexual activity.


This scenario sometimes creates conflicts in relationships saying that their partners are being unsatisfied with their performance in bed. But there are things a man can do to make it last longer.


One of the best pieces of advice that I can give is to keep exploring different positions. Switching and changing position can help you prolong it.


This also gives you time to rest your penis and calm it to prevent reaching the climax that instant.


In between changing positions, try to calm down and postpone it. In this way, you don’t need to risk the moment and cut the pleasure that your partner is having.


Moreover, switching and changing positions can increase intimacy during sex.


Your mind will as well be more focused on the position and on keeping your balance while in it. This also adds wilderness and playfulness during sex. It will eventually contribute to happier intercourse.


And besides, exploring different positions is what increases excitement and interest during sex. This will prevent both of you from being bored in a single position.


Tyler Dårlig Ulv – Bad Wolf

Tyler Dårlig Ulv

Often times the root of insecurity about lasting “long enough” or “performing” for men is found in the toxic upbringing lots of guys came into adulthood with.


Those things—especially the idea of having to perform—create anxiety and stress that doesn’t make sex better and enhances worry (and sometimes the likelihood of erection problems).

Instead of fixating on how looong you’re lasting, reframe how you approach sex time. So you cum real quick. Ok. Can you cum again in 30 or 40 minutes?


Awesome! Stretch your session across that span and focus on your partner while you’re recharging. Two loads is always more fun than one.

Can’t cum again for a long time? Begin doing some internal work about why sex ends for you once you bust. Consider talking with a therapist about it. Seriously!

Why does your orgasm mean it’s over? If you know how your body/penis will likely respond, plan ahead. Dive into what your partner wants with toys, tools, or your whole face, once your boner is out of the equation.

And lose the idea that there’s a “right” amount of duration for sex. That’s a myth perpetuated by sitcoms, movies, and the high fantasy of pornography. It’s not making you better in bed, or giving anybody else any pleasure. Bin it.


Raffi Bilek – Baltimore Therapy Center

Raffi Bilek

One way to extend your time spent loving is to focus your attention on your partner’s pleasure.


Make sure they’re enjoying what you’re doing, and pay attention to whether they want more of this or less of that.


The more focus you put on your partner, the less focus you’ll have on your own sensations, and the longer you’ll be able to stick it out taking care of their needs.

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

For men that want to last longer in bed, I would recommend experimenting with edging and orgasm control.


Edging is a technique where you get close to the point of orgasm then back down and do not allow yourself to orgasm. Then keep repeating until you are ready to orgasm.


This also helps you have more intense orgasms when you do finally let yourself have an orgasm. You can be do this solo or partnered, whatever suits your desires.

Dr. Betsy Greenleaf – Greenleaf Be Well

Betsy Greenleaf

Performance concerns are high amongst men. My biggest advice before trying blue pills and enhancement procedures has to do with muscle strength. We start to lose 3-5% of muscle mass yearly after the age of 30.


Though many go to the gym, most people forget to do exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles.


It is the pelvic floor muscles that give us ( men and women ) the ability to enjoy sexual activity, lengthen our sexual response, and increase the intensity of orgasm.


Simply starting with Kegel exercises and making a habit of continuing these exercises throughout life.


Kegel exercises can be performed by envisioning tightening your pelvic floor muscles…..these are the muscles that are used to hold in urine, gas or stool.


Tighten for the count of 10 and then relax and repeat for 3 more sets. You can also do an exercise called “quick flicks.” Tighten the same muscles quickly and then relax 10 times in a row and then repeat 3 sets.


Abductor machines in the gym, or rolling up a towel, or placing a ball between the legs while seated in a chair and squeezing can also strengthen these muscles.

Kegels are my biggest secret that anyone can do anywhere. Strong pelvic floor muscles will improve your response, performance and make your partner smile.


Dr. Robin Buckley

Robin Buckley

When my male clients ask about sustaining their sexual performance, the most significant suggestion I offer is for them to focus on their partner’s pleasure rather than their own.


By concentrating on the feedback a partner’s reactions are providing, a man shifts his focus from his own pleasurable sensations to those of his partners.


His thoughts are centered around listening to the feedback, and adjusting technique to get responses which signal a better experience for the partner.


For some men who need a specific objective, I encourage them to discover or learn one new thing about their partner’s sexual response or sensual preferences each time they engage in physical intimacy.


Having a clearly defined objective often provides that appropriate “distraction” to stay engaged longer.


Because he is no longer focused on his own physical sensations or his own increasing sexual response, he is able to last longer in bed.


It is beneficial to both individuals because it allows for more playtime, the partner is fully cared for, and the man learns more about his partner’s preferences, enjoying the partner’s experience until he is ready to return his attention to his own fulfillment.


Sureya Leonara

Sureya Leonara

Lasting longer in bed is about quality of presence, breath, and relaxation.


Contrary to popular advice to “think of something else,” cultivating stamina and a high-level of sexual mastery requires: tuning into the subtleties of how your sexual energy is moving, knowing where your edge is, and maintaining awareness to ride that edge without slipping over too soon.

If you’re in your head fantasizing during sex you’ll likely push over your edge faster or distract yourself from tracking your edge and disconnect from your lover.


Anything that takes you out of your body and into your head diminishes your presence and performance.

When approaching orgasm most men breathe shallow and rapidly which squeezes out sharp, short, explosive orgasms.


Slow, deep belly breathing calms the nervous system and relieves tension in the genitals which spreads pleasure throughout the entire body.


This supports greater stamina, deeper, longer orgasms and allows multiple full-body, non-ejaculatory orgasms to happen without a refractory period or loss of erection in between.


Dr. Stephanie Buehler – Learn Sex Therapy

Stephanie Buehler

One thing that rarely gets mentioned in regard to rapid ejaculation is the need to learn how to relax and tune in to one’s physical sensations and one’s partner’s sexual needs.


Becoming hyper-focused on lasting longer caused a man to lose his connection with the entirety of his body.


All he feels is the sensations in his genitals, instead of noticing all of the pleasurable things happening—the quickening of the pulse, the tensing of muscles, and the tautness of the skin.


He also loses his connection to his partner, who may complain that he is “selfish,” even though he is trying so hard to have longer intercourse.

There are different ways to learn relaxation, of course, but the easiest is to try regular deep breathing.


There are applications to remind you to breathe, and applications to help you regulate your breath. Deep breathing helps to calm both the body and the mind.


Then, when a man is having sex with their partner, they can use the breath to help regulate and slow things down.


Then they can pay attention to something besides his penis, and stay confident about having intercourse while they connect emotionally with their partner, instead of worrying about this being a distraction.


Rebecca Blanton – Love Letters To A Unicorn

Rebecca Blanton

Many people believe that the longer penetrative sex lasts, the better the sex must be. This belief is fostered by popular culture representations of “great sex” lasting “hours.”


However, when marriage and sex therapists were surveyed about what client reported was a satisfying or desirable length for penetration, the time ranged from seven to 13 minutes.


Many reported that people having as little as three minutes of penetrative sex reported it being adequate.


Additionally, more than a third reported that sex lasting more longer than 10 to 30 minutes was “too long.”

My question for people seeking to “last longer” in bed would be, “What is your motivation behind this desire?”


If the motivation is a belief that you just don’t last “long enough” or that lasting longer would make you better in bed, I would suggest you are looking for solutions in the wrong place.


If you and your partner(s) are enjoying the length of time you have penetrative sex, there is no need to increase you duration.

If you do not know if you partner(s) are enjoying the sex you are having, it’s time for an honest and open conversation about your sex life.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is because you are trying to help your partner reach orgasm and your current stamina does not lead them to climax, the duration may not be the issue.


For many women and people with vaginas, penetration alone will not lead to climax. Most folks with a vagina need stimulation of the clitoris, the nipples, or other erogenous zones to reach climax.


If your partner(s) have a penis, the slowness to climax may be due to discomfort (add lube! Go slow) or need for additional penial or ball stimulation.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is to prevent the end of the sexual encounter too soon, your climax does not need to signal the end of the encounter.


You have a mouth, fingers, and can introduce toys and other sexual stimuli to continue sex even after you have climaxed.

If you are among the approximate 4 percent of men who climax prematurely, you may want to consider various techniques for delaying orgasm.


To qualify medically as someone who experiences premature ejaculation, you must meet these criteria: climax within one minute, this has happened for at least six months, you find this distressing, and there are no other medical reasons for early ejaculation.

These techniques can be used by anyone seeking to increase sexual duration.


Edging is a technique any gender can use to help delay orgasm. This involves stimulating penis (or genitals) until you feel close to orgasm and then stopping.


Practicing this repeatedly can help some people delay orgasm. It is also very fun to engage in with a partner. Bring you partner close to orgasm and then stop.


Doing this repeatedly before climax can lead to enhanced orgasms for many people.


Hypnosis, either by a professional or learned with a partner, can help delay ejaculation. There are several prominent sex educators who regularly teach classes on hypnosis and how to use it for intimacy.


Take a few classes on hypnosis and sex. This can be a great option is you have a partner you trust to practice with.


Condoms are a tried-and-true technique for many men in delaying ejaculation. If you are not currently using condoms with a partner, discuss adding them to your intimate encounters.


The additional layer between you and a partner can lessen sensations and delay orgasm.

Amanda Lambros

Amanda Lambros

Sexual preferences matters to some but not all couples.


Understanding why you are in a relationship and whether that is an important component to you is first and foremost.


If it is, seek help from a sexologist to learn some skills to apply in the bedroom and level up your sexual prowess.


If you aren’t able to collaborate on your sexual preferences and it’s a non-negotiable for you, say goodbye and move on to your next partner.


Erin Dierickx – Erin D Therapy

Erin Dierickx

The Stop-Start and Squeeze techniques. While in bed, you or your partner can begin stimulating the penis with a dry hand, lightly and slowly. Do this until you have a firm erection.


When you start to get close to ejaculating, signal to your partner to pause stimulation or squeeze the penis.


This increases your awareness of when you are about to ejaculate and can start to build a tolerance to last longer the more this is done.

Take turns pleasuring each other.


Focus on each other one at a time in order to heighten your enjoyment of the pleasure and focus on the sensations. This is a form of mindfulness in bed.


It is a way for you to stay present and by taking turns, this helps you last longer due to pleasuring your partner while you are pausing your own stimulation.


This will continue to build your tolerance over time for lasting longer.

Get on the bottom. Men are physiologically more able to control their ejaculation when they are on the bottom rather than on top during sex.


Lachlan Brown – Hack Spirit

Lachlan Brown

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to combine effective mental and physical techniques.


On the physical side I’d recommend pelvic floor exercises, healthy diet and reducing the amount of red meat you are eating.


On the mental side, I’d recommend taking things slow in the bedroom and appreciating every inch of your lover instead of going straight to the “main course.”


This will slow down the idea of sex as some kind of prize or being all about the climax.


In sex, as in life, it’s the journey that counts more than just the destination.


Renée Mayne

Renée Mayne

The easiest way for men to last longer in bed is to change the way they view sex, we put so much focus on foreplay and orgasm we forget the depth and fun that we can experience in the middle.


You see, subconsciously we know the orgasm feels amazing and we just want to get there! Especially for men because they are so goal oriented.

We have a natural desire to speed up when we get excited, but instead we need to slow down and come back to the breath.


Learn to tap into the energy of your body and you can redistribute the energy from beyond the penis and move it throughout the body.


The key is to not contract the muscles and relax the muscles, this opens us up to not only lasting longer in bed but better orgasms.


Be patient with it and it requires presence and it’s so worth it.


James Kelly – Ed Clinics

Premature ejaculation (PE) can often be a problem for men who have erectile dysfunction (PE).


Since an erection goes away after ejaculation, it can be difficult to know if the problem is PE or ED.

Erectile dysfunction affects over 66% of men at some point in their lives, and becomes more likely with age.


If you are experiencing both the symptoms of ED and PE, it’s important that you speak to your doctor about the ED first, as for 90% of men over 40, it can be a symptom of an underlying health condition, most commonly cardiovascular disease or diabetes.


Your doctor may suggest lifestyle changes, medication, or treatments like shockwave therapy for ED. Once you have treated the root cause of the ED, you may find that the symptoms of PE disappear.

One simple action you can take at home to combat both the symptoms of ED and PE is pelvic floor exercises. These train the muscles that keep blood in the penis, making maintaining an erection and delaying ejaculation much easier.


Pelvic floor exercises are simple, and the easiest ones can be performed sitting at a desk.


  • Tense your muscles around the lower base of your penis, as if you were trying to stop urinating.
  • Hold for five seconds.
  • Release.
  • Repeat for five sets of ten, twice a day.


Dr. Laura Meihofer

Laura Meihofer

As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I recommend two simple exercises to increase orgasm control.

1. The first exercise starts outside the bedroom.


Start by gently tightening your pelvic floor muscles as if you are stopping the flow of urine. You should feel a lift or squeeze around your penis or perineum.


Next, take a slow deep breath into your belly. Pay attention to your penis, testicles, and/or perineum as you should feel a slight drop with inhalation.


This is relaxation and lengthening of the pelvic floor muscles that control erection and orgasm. It is important that you feel and control these motions inside and outside the bedroom.


Practice these motions in your daily life but also when you engage in sex.

2. Becoming familiar with your arousal spectrum and learning to control your orgasm is essential to lasting longer in bed.


Consider your arousal spectrum to be a 10 point scale. 0 is the equivalent to no sexual arousal while 10 is maximum sexual arousal and/or orgasm.


As you spend time with yourself and/or your partner, practice working your way up the scale and how your body reacts at each number.


When trying to last longer in bed, the aim is to stay around a 6 – 8 on this scale.


As you approach 7-9 on the scale, communicate the need to change things up with your partner such as changing positions, rhythm, and stimulation style to bring it back down to 6-8.


Stephanie Wijkstrom – Counseling and Wellness Center

Stephanie Wijkstrom

If you are concerned about being an adequate lover and want to fulfill your partners sexual needs, you do not necessarily need to be able to offer 30 minute sex sessions.


It is a cruel joke by nature that women take up to 20 minutes to reach orgasm and up to 9 minutes to reach full arousal, but men can reach arousal in under a minute and orgasm in 2-5 minutes.


Any true renaissance man can bridge this gap to greater sexual intimacy by offering more foreplay.


Keep in mind, 20 minutes of foreplay is worth 5 minutes of penetrative sex. Let there be a long build up as the key to helping your partner achieve orgasm.


Edwina Caito – Bedbible

There are a few ways for a man to last longer in bed, however, it depends on how far he is willing to go in order to achieve that longevity.


Other than thinking about baseball or great-aunt Ethel, here are some helpful tips:

Go slow: Slowing things down by prolonging foreplay, taking small breaks for water then starting in lesser-exciting sexual positions.


For instance, if he climaxes more quickly in the doggy style position, try spooning or missionary first.

A little help from a toy: Erection rings are an easy and pleasurable way to last longer in bed.


An erection ring is placed at the base of the penis or around the shaft and testicles. This creates a stronger erection, makes the penis more sensitive and delays ejaculation making sex better for both partners.


Best yet, some erection rings come with built-in clitoral stimulators! Who knows, you may climax together!

Practice makes perfect: You would think that masturbation is counterproductive.


But masturbating earlier in the day, before sex, can actually help in delaying climax later.


Some men have found great success using Fleshlights made specifically for building endurance (Stamina Training Kits), as well as penis pumps and erection rings combined.


Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn – Luvbites

Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

Last longer in bed with sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices
In my years of researching the key to maximum and sustainable sexual satisfaction I found that sexual mindfulness is the most promising contributing factor for men to last longer in bed.


Sexual mindfulness therapy is already being used to treat various sex concerns including sexual desires, erectile dysfunction, and other sexual functioning. Tantric sex is more on a spiritual than scientific path, but both are similar.

To last longer, I recommend sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices such as sensual meditation and edging.


Use guided meditation and touch to do sensual meditation. Don’t pursue if you get an erection.


Edging is when you’re about to cum and you stop (whether you’re having sex or masturbating). These practices should help you last longer in bed!


Shari James

Shari James

Most men’s sexual encounters start with anxiety and end in an oops!

These men are then diagnosed with premature ejaculation as the problem. I see their problem as simply being a lack of education and training.

These guys may place the blame on the woman that they are with… she gets him too excited. Or they may place the blame on being uncircumcised.

But I see the problem as how you are training yourself. You must understand that each time you self pleasure, you are creating neural circuitry in your brain and laying down tracks that create a habitual response.


If self pleasure is a quick stress reliever then that is how you are programming yourself.

Slow down and take your time during self pleasure.


Because ejaculation is an involuntary response of the sympathetic nervous system you’ll want to combine masturbation with meditation by breathing deep, full and slow all the way down into your belly…this will put you in a state of relaxed arousal.

During self pleasure shift your context from “getting off” to preparing to be an amazing lover.


Carrie Leaf

Carrie Leaf

The reasons to why a man may struggle to last long in bed can be because of many different issues, but one general shift a man could try to work on would be to truly be present in the moment and noticing the details of the experience.


Particularly the details of their partners experience as opposed to their own.


When there is a shift from a physical experience alone to a spiritual level and a connection between partners, it is often an entirely different experience.


Dr. Joe Kort

Here is some advice to help men last longer in bed:


  1. Masturbate a few hours before you plan to have sex. This will help you last longer because the penis is desensitized. Unlike women, men need a longer refractory period – from a few minutes to a few hours.
  2. Use a Trojan Extended Pleasure condom. It contains a small amount of climax-control lubricant, which decreases sensitivity and slows down ejaculation.
  3. Try edging (intentionally stopping yourself right before the point of orgasm and then starting up again). It prolongs pleasure as well as the duration of sexual activity.
  4. Slow down. Focus on pleasuring your partner first and you last.
  5. Squeeze the head of your penis for 10 to 20 seconds if you feel you are ready to ejaculate. The pinching will reduce your erection and help you last longer.
  6. Try a penis sleeve. Some sleeves lessen sensation and help you last longer.
  7. If your partner is a woman, have her on top and facing away from you. This “reverse cowgirl” position allows the woman to stimulate her clitoris and climax before you.
  8. Use Trojan’s new Extended Pleasure benzocaine delay spray, an endurance enhancer that temporarily prolongs the time until ejaculation. Apply a small amount to the head and shaft of the penis before intercourse. It can be used with Trojan latex condoms.


Indigo Stray Conger – Choosing Therapy

Indigo Stray Conger

Practice lasting longer on your own, especially if you tend to masturbate to climax quickly.


Stimulate your penis as you typically would and then try to pause multiple times once you arrive at a high excitation point.


Learn to extend the period of excitation before release. This is called edging or orgasm control and it is the best way to learn how to improve performance during sexual activity.


Men who orgasm quickly often feel as if they have no control over the excitation process or when they orgasm.


However, climaxing quickly is usually the result of habit and can be overcome by paying attention to your body’s excitation cycle.


Amanda Pasciucco – Life Coaching and Therapy

Amanda Pasciucco

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to notice the difference between penetrating a mouth, vagina, or anus vs that of a hand or a sex toy.


Solo sex is different than partnered sex. If you are having partnered sex, chances are the orifice you are penetrating feels different than that of your hand.


Be mindful and switch up your hand techniques.


Similarly, if that isn’t enough, be aware that using a condom is not something to be ashamed of. It helps many men last longer and therefore, I know men who decide to wear them for this reason.


Andrew Aaron – Help For Passion

Andrew Aaron

Most men want to be great lovers. For that purpose they wish to maintain erections as long as possible.


Strategies exist to succeed at that, but lasting longer is also possible by holding realistic expectations and eliminating some obstacles.


Confident men who know their feelings, who are able to relax and enjoy a quality emotional connection with their sexual partners will have greater success.


So eliminating anxiety, like the kind produced by worry about too-soon ejaculation, as well as internal pressure to perform promotes lasting longer. Sex is a very emotional activity!


How can I use my hammer to produce a butterfly? Many women do not orgasm from intercourse (though many fake it).


The hardest erection and the most vigorous thrusting still may not result in her orgasm because intercourse doesn’t provide clitoral stimulation. Being realistic about this is important.


Talk to your partner. To last longer it is best to be relaxed, playful and have fun during sex. To do so, stay out of your head (the big one, I mean). You may shift your attention to slow your pace towards ejaculation.


If you are getting too aroused, move your attention to away from the sensations that are most arousing, such as your penis and to a less arousing place or activity like caressing or kissing your partner.


Where your attention goes, there also will go your hot sexual energy. So if you are speeding to orgasm before the time is right, shift your attention to your breathing or other body sensations instead of the exciting action.


Requesting a change and reduction in stimulation from your partner at this time can help. When orgasm grows near before the right time, you will notice the heat in your pelvis and penis.


Through visualizing the hot energy flowing out of your pelvis and spreading throughout your body you will cool your pelvis, interrupting it from building to an explosion through ejaculation.


Getting good at lasting longer can help you be a better man in every part of your life.


Rachel Sommer – My Sex Toy

Rachel Sommer

While we can’t shun away from the excitement and adrenaline of quickies, sex should be, for the most time, enjoyed without time constraints.


Unfortunately, certain factors like age, disease, medication, and anxiety might lead to premature ejaculation.


So, here’s my best advice for lasting longer in bed: Train Your Pelvic Muscles Located just below your prostate, the pelvic floor is vital in sexual stamina training. Yes!


A 2005 study, among others, found that 3 in 4 men improved erectile function after Kegel exercises.


Strengthening the pelvic floor – pubococcygeal (PC) muscles help you control yourself during sex to withhold the urge to orgasm, thus delaying ejaculation.


And the best thing about it is just like every other muscle in your body, these muscles can be strengthened with regular exercise.


To work out the pelvic muscles, simulate the act of stopping yourself from peeing midstream or passing gas, and you’ll feel the muscles between your penis and rectum move.


You can also identify the pelvic floor muscles by trying to lift your balls without using your hands. You feel them. Don’t you?


And to tone the muscles:


  • Tighten the muscles – standing, sitting, or lying down.
  • Hold tight for 3 seconds before releasing for another 3 seconds.
  • Repeat as many times as needed – at least 10 reps a day. Kegel exercising combined with other tactics like switching positions, wearing the right condoms, and edging can make a great difference in your sex life.

Samantha Moss – Romantific

Samantha Moss

Since women take a longer time to orgasm, men need a lot of stamina to last longer in bed. As a dating and relationship expert, factors like inexperience, overstimulation, and anxiety may cause premature ejaculation in men.


However, these concerns can be addressed, and doing so can lead to happier, healthier sex life.

Take it slow. To help your partner last longer in bed, ask him to take things slow. This gives him enough time to stimulate you and slow down his ejaculation.


Pacing himself can also help, starting with slow thrusts that gradually increase into faster ones.

Change positions. Shifting positions requires you to take a break and slow down movements. It allows your body to cool down because it doesn’t get as much stimulation.


A great tip would be to switch to positions that don’t penetrate as deeply, giving you more time to last in bed.

Talk to your partner. Getting support from your partner is the best thing to do under the circumstances. Being open and honest can do a lot of good for your relationship, as well as improve intimacy.


Explain to your partner your desire to last longer, so that they can understand what’s happening.


Sarah Rose Bright

Sarah Rose Bright

Most men contract their bodies during arousal (whether clenching their buttocks, thighs etc) and amplify this even more hoping this will help them last longer in bed.


If you want to last longer, put your attention on relaxing and enjoying the pleasure in the moment rather than focusing on the goal of lasting longer.


Men can be worried that if they relax into their pleasure they will ejaculate more quickly however with practice they will find that it is in relaxation that their pleasure can expand and grow and they last longer.


This is best explored on your own at first.


Also, be mindful of your breath – is it shallow? are you holding your breath at times? Both are very common.


Take slower and fuller breaths  and make some sound, even if only on the exhale. It helps you to relax.


Kate Sloan – Girly Juice

Kate Sloan

Best advice for men who want to last longer in bed: Take a break and do something else.


The majority of people with vulvas don’t reach climax from penetration alone anyway, so if giving your partner pleasure is the goal, penetration isn’t always the right thing to focus on.


Try stopping what you’re doing and giving your partner oral sex for a while instead, or using your hands on them.


Michelle Devani – Love Devani

Michelle Devani

As a relationship expert, I understand it’s normal for guys to finish too fast every once and a while, however if you ejaculate during less than a minute of intercourse regularly then you may have a problem.

If you’re having trouble finishing so soon, seeking the help of your spouse might be really beneficial. To initiate, inform your spouse that you really want to attempt lasting longer and see if they are willing to take part.


Additionally, because hypersensitivity can cause sexual dysfunction, using a condom is a simple treatment that can help sex lasting longer.


The condom serves as a barrier around the penis, lessening orgasm and possibly causing ejaculation to be disrupted.


The pause-squeeze method also helps sex last longer, having sex till you feel like you’re about to get done. Then, for a second, pull out and squeeze the head of your penis, or until the urge to ejaculate subsides.


Finally, continue to have sex as needed while repeating the method. Thrusting aggressively produces orgasm in a short period of time.


Positions and styles that restrict your movements, such as having your spouse on top of you, can be beneficial since you won’t lose control and start thrusting too fast.


April Maccario – Ask April

April Maccario

It’s humiliating, it’s unexpected, and it turns what should be one of life’s greatest joys into one of life’s greatest disappointments, but as the founder of a dating website who understands relationships, it’s both frustrating and common among men.


There are several smart and healthy strategies to reduce your premature ejaculation and extend your time in bed.


The following tactics will boost your chances of being able to have longer sex sessions than you’re used to:

Seek assistance from your partner. This may help your partner understand your frustrations.


Once you’ve established a line of communication with your partner, you may talk about what causes your orgasm and try out some techniques.

Do pelvic floor exercises. Experts feel that if your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, delaying your ejaculation would be more difficult.


Act as if you’re attempting to stop yourself from peeing or passing gas to flex your pelvic floor muscles, and notice which muscles move.

Do the slower pace. Slow down as much as possible, then take frequent breaks to go even slower.


Thrusting frequently produces intense sensations and may increase your chances of orgasming after a short period.


Nikolina Jeric – 2Date4Love

Nikolina Jeric

Here are some tactics that can help men last longer in bed:

Practice Kegels exercises.


Unlike common opinion, Kegels exercises aren’t for women only – men also have pelvic floor muscles that can be built and straightened.


The point is – if your pelvic floor muscles are weak, you’ll have a hard time controlling premature ejaculation. If you work on building muscles in this area, you’ll have more control over your ejaculation and last longer in bed.


One way to practice Kegels exercises is to lay down and flex pelvic floor muscles for 3 seconds and relax them. Repeat this process a few times for maximum results

Try the cowgirl position.


If you haven’t tried, maybe it’s the right time to practice more the cowgirl position. The secret hides in the fact that women control the pace and thrust, allowing you to delay the orgasm.


Jackie Golob – Shameless Therapy

Jackie Golob

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is seek out a sex therapist for this work!


In sex therapy, that therapist is going to help with realistic expectations, correcting mythology of “lasting long,” incorporating bibliotherapy to read up on this topic from reputable sources.


Also, changing thoughts related to worrying about maintaining an erection, anxiety reduction techniques, focusing on communication skills with their partner(s), expanding sexual repertoire with various levels of desire and maintaining an erection, and exercises with their partner for sex therapy work.


There is no magic way to last longer in bed.


Another thing to look into is if there is something medically/biologically/genetically going on, and seeking out a doctor if this is the case.


30% of sexual disorders are medical and 70% is mental, so there’s got to be a both and approach.


Balancing out let’s check to see if there is something medically going on and mentally what’s getting in the way of maintaining an erection.


Have there been shameful messages? Unsupportive partners? Negative thoughts?


The best advice is to seek help from a sex therapist professional that specializes in this field and this is their niche to get the best support.


Marsha Jackson – FoxTail

Marsha Jackson

It’s no secret that many males find orgasm more easily than women.


That, along with the fact that premature ejaculation is the most common sexual illness in males under the age of 40, means you may find yourself unsatisfied after he’s done.


It’s a terrible bummer to discover his good times are ended before you’ve even begun.

Some people may discover that foreplay allows them to extend their sexual activity. These people may enjoy and please their spouse without having to worry about ejaculating too soon.


As a result, incorporating oral sex or manual stimulation into one’s sexual activities may be beneficial, especially if penetrative sex is unlikely to endure long enough for all partners to experience orgasm.

Exercises for the pelvic floor muscles supporting the bladder and facilitating ejaculation can be strengthened using Pelvic Floor Exercises.


When urinating, one can tighten up and stop the flow for 5–10 seconds before restarting. They should be able to progress to longer holds by performing this several times each day.

Premature ejaculation can be helped with medication, but doctors typically only do so when all other options have failed.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants, can alter the sexual function and make orgasm more difficult. As a result, SSRIs may assist in postponing ejaculation and extend a person’s lifespan.


Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Let’s start with Socrates; “Know yourself.”


Exploring our erogenous zones, engaging in sexual arousal, consciously gauging the sexual energy concentrating in our genitalia and flowing throughout the body, and ultimately practicing ‘edging orgasms’ are all means to lasting longer in bed.


‘Edging orgasms’ refers to getting to the threshold of having a full body orgasm but without passing over to the point of spasm and ejaculation.


A practical approach to edging orgasms is by exercising ‘sensate focus’, or focusing attention on the changing intensity of sexual neuromuscular euphoria and consciously controlling sexual stimulation.

In essence, ‘sensate focus’ is akin to ‘mindfulness’ with which we can develop the ability to exercise greater discipline of our sexual stimuli and responses.


An ideal means to practice lasting longer in bed is to practice ‘mindful masturbation’ or holistically exploring our erogenous zones and acknowledging what feels good or not.


This level of self-knowledge can make us better communicators and have more fulfilling partnered sex.


Our focus is not on rushing to orgasm but instead on generating and sustaining different levels of sexual pleasure.


Joel Flynn – Gentleman Zone

Joel Flynn

Sex is pretty much like any other physical activity. You get better at it when training. To get the best of you, train your pelvic floor muscles.


Exercises called kegels or kegel are series of different contraction and release sequences that ultimately and literally train and increase your sexual strength and ejaculation control.


Of course, going ahead with more complex sports, such as swimming, hugely benefits durability and stamina, too.


How long do kegels need to kick in, you’d ask? In my opinion, you should aim for at least a month.


Carmel Jones – The Big Fling

Carmel Jones

While there are products that men can try to last longer in bed, I have found that more organic techniques are the most effective.


Lasting longer is a mental challenge just as much as it is a physical challenge. That’s why I often don’t recommend techniques that require too much thought as it might take away from the pleasure of sex itself.


Men will read about edging or the squeeze technique. While those work, they are also very specific. Here are two of the easiest ways to last longer in bed:

Increase the amount of foreplay: Lasting longer in bed doesn’t have to mean just penetrative sex. “In bed” can refer to the sexual experience as a whole.


Increasing the amount of time you dedicate to foreplay or teasing your partner’s pleasure zones before penetrating will make their sexual experience last longer.


While it doesn’t technically keep you from ejaculating sooner, it lengthens the amount of time your partner receives pleasure before you ejaculate.

Masturbate before sex: Masturbating before sex is an easy thing you can do to help yourself last longer; however, it works better for older men. This is because men have a refractory period after they orgasm.


The younger the man, the shorter the period. It can range anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours. On average, it’s about 45 minutes to an hour.


So, if you masturbate less than an hour before you have sex, you will last longer in bed as your body will still be in that refractory period.


Rose Collette Aston – London Tantric

Rose Collette Aston

If you want to last longer in bed, you need to harness your sexual energy. That’s not easy if you haven’t been taught how to listen to your body.


You must develop a greater awareness of the physical and mental triggers that lead you to orgasm — the only way to learn about these is by paying close attention to the things that stimulate your body and mind when you’re experiencing genuine intimacy.


Only then will you be able to gain greater control of your unconscious urges.

Through tantric massage, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how your body responds to erotic, intensely pleasurable triggers.


With the help of a professional masseuse — preferably a qualified massage therapist trained in the ancient art of tantra — you’ll be taught how to channel your sexual energies.


This can help you access incredible, other-worldly pleasures without finishing before your partner.

By making yourself more aware of what turns you on, you’ll acquire greater control of your body and mind to have sex for longer.


The most important thing is that you still experience sensual pleasure that can be enjoyed long before a final, blissful release.


Lacie Mae Gabor

Lacie Mae Gabor

Staying power in bed is a struggle for many men. The good news is there are several things men can do to help themselves last longer.


One of the easiest ways is to purchase thicker condoms which decrease sensitivity.


Waiting until your partner is begging for sex before inserting yourself is key.


The woman will be close to achieving an orgasm due to her high level of arousal and you will (hopefully) be able to last long enough during penetration to ensure she achieves an orgasm.


Less stimulating foreplay and sexual positions will also help. If you know you’re easily aroused, then spend the majority of your foreplay pleasuring your partner.


Change things up before you get too turned on. Turn the attention back to her and make sure she’s turned on since women typically require more foreplay.


Finally, working on your mind game is essential. Men who are able to distract themselves with other thoughts and decrease their arousal, are able to last longer.


So, the next time you’re about to have sex and want to make sure you can go the distance, try implementing some of the above strategies!


Paul J Hunter – Cork Hypnosis Clinic

Paul J Hunter

The number one tip I would have for guys to help them last longer in bed is to improve their level of self love and self esteem.


Sex can become like a judgement to a lot of guys if they wonder if are they good enough or do they measure up to their partners last partner.


We are constantly unconsciously looking for signs that our partner is enjoying it.


The moment a guy spots a reaction that’s less that might be expected, if he has a self esteem problem, he can self criticize and negatively impact his performance.


Confidence and self belief are key to good sexual performance.


Robert Thomas – Sextopedia

Robert Thomas

The more pressure you put on yourself to perform well in bed, the sooner you will actually ejaculate. Being anxious about lasting long is precisely what will make you orgasm quicker.


So, going into sex with a relaxed and confident mindset will surely have an impact on your performance in bed.


You can also try edging – stopping physical stimulus to your penis just as you’re about to orgasm.


While masturbating, be very aware of how close to orgasm you are, and stop right before you’re reaching an orgasm. Let your arousal go down for about 10 seconds, and then start masturbating again.


Do this several times during your masturbation session. You can transfer this to actual sex by stopping when you think you’re about to reach an orgasm.


Instead, try giving oral sex to your partner, or simply switch up positions. This will surely be a game changer for you to last longer in bed!


Thank you to all the experts that have contributed to this expert roundup! If you enjoyed reading this post then please share it with your friends and followers on social media.


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