coworker sex

Coworker Sex

Coworker Sex

 

Most corporate policy manuals will have some lengthy explanation about why coworker sex is banned and penalties and blah blah blah. Reality shows that most people have sex with a coworker at some point.

It’s the ultimate taboo, so it’s a wonder so many of us find ourselves mixed up in it. Workplace romances are scandalous, which makes them a bit more fun! Odds are, if you ask most couples how they met, it will have some connection to work or their professional lives. It’s a game of odds.

The Coronavirus pandemic has taught us a lot of things. One of them is how much we rely on social interactions at work to fulfill us. This, of course, is something the work from home crowd has known for years. We often overlook how important that chit chat in the lunchroom is and how much those work happy hours sustain us.

People tend to find sexual partners amongst the people they spend time with. While mobile dating apps make it a bit easier to meet people, romantic relationships naturally develop when you’re close to someone.

It’s unrealistic to expect coworkers to not have any sexual contact. Most offices play out like an old soap opera. They’re complex webs of who’s dating who and which person stole someone away from someone else. We love it and hate it and love it again some more.

Coworker sex is bound to happen. If you feel it coming on and you’re down to get frisky, here are some things you should know before you jump in.

 

Don’t Get Anyone in Trouble

Unless you’re in some sort of small business or start-up, the chances are coworker sex and romantic relationships are forbidden. The extent to which a company can take any meaningful legal action against you is on shaky ground, however, that doesn’t mean they can’t make your life or your partner’s life more difficult. You could even find yourself out of a job.

That goes double for if you’re in a relationship that spans management levels. As a manager, seeing someone you directly manage is a big no-no, and can land you in hot water.

Discretion is the keyword here. There’s a big difference between getting a bit too drunk at the company mixer and hooking up with a colleague and developing a serious relationship with one of your coworkers.

Learn when to keep things quiet. If you’re unsure, err on the side of discretion. The two of you are the only people who need to know.

 

Gauge the Emotional Situation Wisely

Have you ever had incredible, mind-blowing sex with someone who was borderline crazy? Like, they were jealous, obsessive, insecure and a bit maniacal? You just couldn’t stop yourself because the sex was so good, right?

For whatever reason, sex with someone unpredictable can be amazing. You’re kissing one moment and the next thing you know they turn on some move you’ve never seen and it’s life-changing. Still, there’s that lingering thought in the back of your mind that they’re going to show up on your doorstep at three in the morning or go nuts if they find out you’re seeing someone else.

Now, imagine dealing with that at work, where things can get interesting. Well, that’s the risk you take when you dive right into coworker sex with no regard for how emotionally stable the other person is.

Make sure you and your partner are on equal footing when it comes to the level of commitment expected. The last thing you want is to have them announce your “relationship” in front of the office when you didn’t see it coming.

It goes both ways as well. Be careful about how quickly you fall for someone at work. Coworker sex might be great, just don’t imagine it to be more than it is. Again, communication is key. Talk to your partner to make sure you’re both on the same page.

 

When Worlds Collide

It’s happened before and it will happen again. You’re new in the office and fall for the first person who shows you meaningful attention. The coworker sex is great and feelings are intense. As you become more comfortable in your settings, though, you realize they’re just not for you, so you break things off.

Things might be a little off between you two at work. Hopefully, you’re both mature enough to not let it bleed over into what you do every day. Months go by and things return to normal.

With coworker sex, you’re always rolling the dice a bit. One of the luxuries we have meeting people through an app or online is that when it over, it’s easier to separate. You never have to see them again if that’s the way you want it.

Sex with someone at work, though, isn’t that simple. And don’t even mention if you start a workplace romance with multiple coworkers. That’s asking for trouble.

It happens, though, and the best thing you can do is be honest with each of your partners every step of the way. Don’t give dishonest or misleading signals that tell them this is something more than it is. That’s a recipe for hurt feelings and resentment. You don’t need someone stiff-arming you at work because a date went wrong.

 

Enjoy the Connection of Coworker Sex

On a positive note, coworker sex can be amazing because there’s a mental connection there that is hard to match. If you’ve worked together for a long time, there’s an understanding there. There will be less awkward small talk over drinks because there’s already something of a foundation for a relationship.

Coworker sex can be great. You can both complain about the boss, gossip about team members, and your schedules are likely to match each other. Plus, something is scintillating about sneaking around under everyone’s noses. It’s like you’re doing something forbidden, which makes it a whole lot more fun!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Feeling Overwhelmed

Feeling Overwhelmed? Let's Solve Your Anxiety and Depression!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Let's Solve Your Anxiety and Depression!

 

As a therapist in the age of COVID, I have heard a lot from my clients and community sharing increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and feeling overwhelmed. 

Social distancing, quarantining, and uncertainty in our lives and communities has exacerbated people’s mental health symptoms. 

This pandemic created a world of uncertainty and put a halt on the world we live in. 

In these uncertain times, people are reporting higher levels of feeling overwhelmed, anxiety, trauma, and depressive symptoms. 

We know living in isolation or with minimal contact with others or no physical contact can have large impacts on people.

 

What Can we Do if we are Feeling Overwhelmed?

Clients have been sharing how this difficulty has created or exacerbated symptoms for them. We spend sessions reflecting on these emotions, ways to cope, and ways to connect with people. 

 

Feeling Overwhelmed

Find Ways To Express Yourself

In times like these, it is important to find ways to express yourself. 

Ways to express yourself include writing, art, talking with a trusted support (professional or informal), or creating. 

There are so many ways we can express ourselves to counter feeling overwhelmed. 

This allows us to have an outlet for feelings we are having. Finding ways to reflect on our experiences and emotions is vital in maintaining our health in times like these.

 

Find Things to Do

Find things to do that promote your safety and pleasure. 

Keeping busy can be helpful or finishing projects that you have struggled to complete in the past! Distraction can be a useful tool in managing mental health symptoms. 

To be clear, distraction is NOT avoidance. Distraction is a temporary tool to use when you are feeling overwhelmed or other negative emotions - and you have to go back to your emotions and still work through them. 

Things to do can be like new hobbies, exercise, listening to music, cleaning, watching a show, or something else! Find ways to stay appropriately busy, NOT avoidant or overfunctioning. 

 

Find Ways to Connect with Others

In this time of social distancing where we have limited physical contact with others, connection can be hard. It can create feelings of isolation, loneliness, or depression. Feeling Overwhelmed

Connection is a natural antidote to these things and can certainly help these experiences. 

Social Media or technology has afforded us with the ease of connecting to others. I think the important way to use this tool is with boundaries that create opportunity for intentional communication and with boundaries. 

Connection can look like instant messages, phone calls, video calls, or posting things that connect you to others on social media. Schedule times to connect with people through these modalities creates certainty in these uncertain times. 

Additionally, if you feel comfortable and safe to do so (while following CDC guidelines) there are a variety of socially distant connections you can make in person. Depending on where you live with differing guidelines, there are different ways to connect with others. 

If its possible to have physical connection with others in your household whether that is snuggling, massage, walking together, exercising together, hugging, etc.

 

Find Ways to Connect with Yourself

Connection does not stop with others. It starts with yourself. Taking the time to connect with yourself through self-reflection, self-touch, and self-love. There are so many ways to connect with yourself to work towards growth, healing, and connection. 

If you are looking for extra support during these tough times, we offer tele-therapy sessions here at LCAT and are happy to help!

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


black lives matter

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

 

Black Lives Matter! Period. 

Race. Racism. White Supremacy. The Patriarchy. Heteronormativity.

For hundreds of years a variety of communities have been marginalized and harmed by the words above. Each of these systems have harmed our culture and communities on a variety of levels. 

The black community has been harmed irreparably. Over the last month, we have watched as there have been deaths, protests, funerals, calls to actions, arrests, etc. As a community, many of us have watched in horror at the atrocities. Some of us have donated, some of us have cried, some of us have protested, some of us have written, some of us have used our voices, and some of us have held our loved ones close. 

Although there has been support for the black community, there has also been hate. 

White Supremacy has continued, confirming what so many have been challenging the system to see for years.

#BlackLivesMatter is important and vital. This movement has shown the importance of continuing to stand up together and try to create a new system. 

It is naive to think that this system will change overnight, and that is why it is vital for us to stand in solidarity and continue this support to the black community. Black Lives Matter! 

As a therapist, I have spent the majority of my career supporting those who are in marginalized populations. Over the last several weeks, almost all of my sessions have been focused on the current events surrounding black community and police brutality. 

In moments like this, where there is systemic trauma (and there has been for years), I see the same trauma symptoms we would see from other acute traumatic experiences. 

The black community has been faced with such systemic trauma that it has caused much of the community to show trauma symptoms. 

We spend sessions processing difficult emotions, trauma symptoms, and having a safe space to express the complexity of their emotional experience. 

My black clients are reporting flashbacks surrounding racism, microaggressions; as well as hypervigilance in a world that has caused so much harm to people in bodies like theirs.

Clients are also focusing on the experiences their family, friends, and community has experienced across time. 

Expressing feelings of voicelessness and fear, and understandably anger. black lives matter

For my non-black clients, there has been so much recognition of things “I should have seen earlier,” or expressions of guilt, etc. 

We spend our sessions reflecting on our privilege, challenging white supremacy, and addressing ways to stand with the black community. 

I challenge all of us to do this work to make changes to this harmful system and not invalidate this movement with the “all lives matter” argument. 

Whether you donate, protest (virtually or in person), read, speak out, write, create policy, or something else - we need to do our part in working to change this system.

To the black community, LCAT stands with you and for you. 

We are here for you because #BlackLivesMatter. 

We also speak out against those saying all lives matter, in knowing that of course all lives matter BUT the lives and voices needing protection, support, and elevation right now are black lives. 

Black lives matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter.

Here at LCAT, we are here to provide support to all POC, queer, differently abled, protestors, activists, genders, gender identity, ethnicities, religions, etc. 

We are here to provide support and a safe place to learn and grow together, because to paraphrase Dr. Maya Angelou when we know better, we do better, and it is certainly time to do better.

Black Lives Matter. Period.

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

If you have any questions, we would love to facilitate a conversation with you. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Covid-19

Therapy in the Age of Covid-19

Therapy in the Age of Covid-19

 

Here at Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC (LCAT) we have practiced telemedicine to support emotional and relational healing . LCAT has utilized this non-traditional technique before the pandemic and were able to make the transition to predominately telemedicine seamlessly. 

Telemedicine (teletherapy or telehealth) is virtual therapy most commonly phone or video sessions (as this is what is currently covered by most insurances… especially during COVID). Texting therapy is another modality used but not covered in most insurance plans. 

 

Teletherapy in COVID-19

Covid has reshaped the world. There is a lot of suffering, a lot of fear, a lot of loss, and a lot of frustration. In addition to the challenging emotions in all of this, there have been changes in the way the healthcare field that have allowed for varying accessibility to support the safety and health of patients and their practitioners.

Many of my clients have had worries about telemedicine prior to COVID, but during this pandemic have begun utilizing and have found it to be better than they expected. Some cite it’s convenience while others identify it not “feeling much different.” 

As a therapist, I have enjoyed being able to be in people’s environments with them and utilize technology to intervene differently than I could in the past. In my opinion in some cases, it has made a cognitive shift to make those connections within their homes. In my practice, I have been able to utilize telemedicine to share screens, have clients sit in different rooms on different devices, show me their environments to come up with reasonable solutions, utilize EMDR, completing tasks together rather than making plans to do them, and workbooks. Clients have in many cases reported enjoying this more and finding it more effective. 

The ability to utilize these different interventions in technology have allowed for further connections between couples, families, and individuals. Challenging couples and families to have difficult conversations and face differing realities - allowing for an opportunity for relationships to find new strategies to meet the needs. Telehealth has allowed for closer connections to be fostered in all of the difficulty that is in our world right now. 

Sometimes that has allowed relationships to also see what is not possible and making conscious and intentional decisions to end the relationship (“conscious uncoupling”). This conscious decision allows for relationships to work amicably at collaborating to end a relationship. Telemedicine allows for these opportunities to work through this with more emotional safety and coaching around communication. 

 

Come to LCAT

Although telemedicine is not for everyone it can provide new opportunities for emotional and relational healing. Video, text, and phone therapy can be just what people may need if they are feeling stuck and have not found traditional models helpful. 

At LCAT each of our staff has been doing these modalities from the start. If you are interested in working on emotional healing through telehealth we are here for you, we take some insurances and offer sliding scales as well. Please check insurance plans to see what is covered under your plan. 

We are continuing to offer telehealth services to support the safety of our patients, staff, and community. Please contact us for more information!

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


web therapy

Do you know what Web Therapy is?

Do you know what Web Therapy is?

 

Let’s talk about web therapy and how you can use it to navigate issues alone or with a partner.

The Coronavirus pandemic and the self-imposed quarantine that all of us are experiencing are certainly some of the most interesting moments in my over ten years of working with individuals and couples.

It’s not exaggerating to say that for many people this is a traumatic event. Life has been turned upside down. You may have lost your job, known a loved one who got sick, or even been personally impacted by the disease. If you’re lucky enough to be spared direct impact, the effects of quarantine and what we see on the news all day are still serious.

If anything, Coronavirus is giving us a lightning round of insight into how we all move through grief into acceptance. It’s a turbulent time. Working with a therapist can help you understand why you are feeling the way you are and give you tactics to move through grief and get to acceptance.

That’s true whether you’re dealing with the effects of losing a job or the stress of a change in your home environment where you’re home all day around the people you love.

I’ve been developing web therapy along with a text therapy practice to help individuals and couples identify and work through issues in real-time. I offer strategies and tips at the moment to help you push to another level even when you can’t meet in person. Here’s how my clients are using web therapy to get where they want to be.

 

How Individuals Use Web Therapy to Overcome Obstacles

I remember when news of Coronavirus first started to hit. Back then, which was not too long ago, it was easy to brush it off and think, “That’s far away”, or “It seems so removed from my life”. In a matter of weeks, we’ve all come face to face with the pandemic.

What did that mean for all of my clients? What happened to the people I meet regularly who were seeing real progress? Suddenly, meeting in person was no longer feasible. Luckily, I’d been working for years on web therapy strategies to manage the transition.

web therapy

Working with clients over the web, we almost went through a crash course on how to manage the stages of grief. Many of them initially felt anger at the disruption in their lives. Emergencies can bring out the worst in people, and unfortunately, negative behaviors and opinions were broadcast everywhere. It was easy to get caught up.

Each client is still somewhere along the anger, bargaining, fear, and depression. It comes and it goes as we work to adjust to our new realities. With web therapy, we were able to maintain a regular communication to deal with the ups and downs.

What’s great about it is that you’re able to sign up for a week or a month, however long you think it serves a purpose or helps you deal with the issues you’re struggling with.

 

The Couples Counseling Cure

Web therapy has helped many of the couples I meet with in person. I’ve found that younger people often prefer using web and text, and it is even surprising how older couples have taken to meeting online because they can carve out space in a room inside the house even with the whole family home.

I’ve streamlined my strategies for couples into online and text therapy modules. We do something I call Triangulation Within the Couple, where we maintain a group chat and respond in real-time to each other’s concerns and celebrate our successes together when we meet online!

web therapy

That’s been incredibly effective during the Coronavirus pandemic because I’m seeing many couples struggle with staying home, balancing things like kids and chores while they experience anxiety over careers and the general outlook.

Web therapy provides an outlet for both partners to express concerns as they come up, and I provide tips on how to push through. In essence, I’m giving you a template that you’ll have on hand to refer back to and use when you need it. It’s been a lifesaver as couples still can work with a clinician from their homes.

I was using web therapy long before we all started living in quarantine and have seen its benefits for both helping couples overcome challenges and grow closer, and for others facilitate a conscious uncoupling to achieve the life they want. It’s versatile and lends you critical support.

 

Using Web Therapy to Stay Connected

As a therapist, the connection between our health and our community is evident. What’s happening around us affects our mental, emotional, and even physical health. The speed at which the Coronavirus disrupted our lives has helped many of my clients see it up close.

How can you stay healthy and balanced when you’re hearing about the Apocalypse, closed borders, huge job losses, and other horrible news?

Web therapy delivers an outlet whereby you can express anger, frustration, depression, and other emotions, even when you’re stuck in quarantine. Remember, these emotions are legitimate. It’s ok to be angry or depressed about what’s happening.

Connection is what all of us need in times of stress when we’re dealing with trauma and uncertainty. Using online solutions allows me, as a therapist, to keep ties with you as you strive to create positivity in new circumstances.

It’s still possible to form strong bonds with your therapist and see progress using your phone and meeting online. A 2013 peer-reviewed study found that, over the course of a six-week text therapy trial, “results indicated that the impact of exchanges and client–therapist alliance in text therapy was similar to, but in some respects more positive than, previous evaluations of face-to-face therapy.” That’s great news!

 

Working Toward Acceptance

If we look hard enough, we can find incredible examples of acceptance and resilience all around us. Communities are doing what they can to support businesses, healthcare workers, and neighbors. Stress has made many families come together and hopefully, we’re on the phone more often with friends and distant family.

What’s amazing about working through the stages of grief is that, eventually, we come to acceptance, where we can come together and create something new. The speed at which we’re dealing with Coronavirus has certainly been a shock. As we move into acceptance, I think there are going to be some really great outcomes.

If you’re missing regular meetings with a therapist or find yourself stuck in a stage of grief, web therapy could be the solution. Don’t struggle with anxiety, fear, anger, or a sense of hopelessness alone. Discover tools to help overcome negativity and work on your relationships with the help of an expert. You’ll see an immediate impact on the way you communicate with yourself and others.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Cis Het

What Does Cis Het Mean?

What Does Cis Het Mean?

 

Have you heard the term "cis het"?

In our society, there are a lot of terms being shared. One of the most popular ones right now is “cis-het.” 

Often, I am asked what this term “cis het” means or find myself hearing this term often in sessions. 

 

“Cis”

Cisgender or more commonly referred to as “cis”  is a term that references someones gender identity. 

Cisgender refers to someone whos natal (birth) sex is congruent with gender identity/presentation (ie someone born female and identifies as a woman or someone born male and identifies as male.)

When someone says you are “cis” it means that your biological sex and gender you identify correspond. 

 

“Het”

Heterosexual or “het” is a term that references someones sexual identity. Someone who is heterosexual is sexually interested to the “other” sex or gender (if we are looking at gender as a binary). Heterosexual relationships are other sex relationships (male/female pairings). 

 

“Cis” + “Het”= CISHET

The combination of cisgender and heterosexual is what is now commonly known as “cishet.” 

This refers to the majority of the population who’s birth or natal sex are congruent with thei gender identity and presentation and are sexually and romantically interested in the other sex. 

Basically, a straight person who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.

People who are categorized as “cishet” are typically seen within the “norm” of society (which is typically referred to as “heteronormativity”). 

Recently, there have been memes depicting “cishet woman” that are caucasian or white with stereotypical, middle-aged, white woman names such as “Karen” or “Susan” or “Carol.” 

This has stimulated a debate among various groups of people. 

Being a “Karen” seems to imply a lack of social awareness and/or privilege. 

Although I am not a proponent of name calling, I will be calling on people who are white, cisgender, and heterosexual human to recognize their privilege. 

I challenge you to see your privilege and use it to elevate those who are not. 

YouTube page where she provides free information at The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Consequences of Divorce

Consequences of Divorce – It’s Not All About You

Consequences of Divorce – It’s Not All About You

 

Have you ever wonder about the consequences of divorce?

When you’re in the thick of marriage hell, breaking away seems like the only option. While you and your spouse are screaming at each other from different rooms, you’re probably dreaming about what life away from them would be like.

You’re sleeping in separate rooms, barely speaking, and you haven’t had sex in months. If you’re just roommates, why not make it official and call it quits? There’s probably someone out there waiting for you who’s kinder, kinkier, and will love you for you, right?

Divorce isn’t always the magic pill people who are struggling in their relationship expect it to be. Starting over can be just as hard, and the decision impacts the people around you as well.

 

The Divorce Disclaimer

Let me preface this discussion on divorce with support for anyone who is suffering or been through marital abuse. It’s been very saddening to hear that police are receiving higher numbers of domestic violence reports during the Coronavirus quarantine.

Too many, people, especially those with children, endure abuse in marriage. Your mental and physical health comes first.

 

Thinking About Getting Out?

This is for you if you’re considering divorce because things simply stopped clicking between you and your spouse. The state of your relationship is a far cry from the cohesive bond you shared once upon a time. Things have deteriorated to the point where you’re no longer happy.

Here are 8 consequences of divorce that you should consider as you put the divorce on the table.

 

  1. Communal Grieving

It’s easy to think of divorce as like some event where you break the chains negativity you’ve been bound in for years. In reality, divorce is like a slow grind filled with grief that often ends in a whimper. And you’re not the only one grieving.

While you may not care so much about what your spouse is going through, your parents, those great in-laws, your children, and all of the friends you’ve made throughout your marriage share in your grief.

 

  1. Financial Decisions Have a Huge Impact

 

So many unhappy couples are in such a rush to get out that they make unwise financial decisions that impact them for years. You should carefully comb through your finances and have good legal representation to make sure you’re getting a fair deal.

Unwinding your assets can be complicated. What if you own a business together? Does the prospect of paying spousal support for decades change your attitude toward divorce? Splitting up is often more work than you think.

 

  1. It’s Rarely as Amicable as You Think

    Consequences of Divorce

Even if you’re a couple that comes peacefully to terms that you no longer belong together, divorce is never going to be as easy or painless as you think.

All of a sudden, you’re going through who gets what and your partner digs their heels in over keeping the dog. You decide to retaliate by claiming the bedroom furniture. Things can spiral downhill quickly.

You need to be prepared for the worst.

 

  1. Disappearing Friends

Your friends are going to have a hard time accepting and navigating your divorce. Usually, they feel like they need to take sides.

Even if they remain cordial, eventually you’ll notice some of your friends have unfriended you on Facebook or get in touch less often. It’s not that they don’t like you. They just like your ex more and don’t want to have to guard what they say around you.

Consider that more than just the relationship with your spouse is going to be affected by divorce. Even though they may have good intentions, they’re going to feel uncomfortable with the new dynamic. As a result, some of your friends may distance themselves.

 

  1. Kids Get It the Hardest

As a parent, divorce is an excruciating decision. No matter how much you hate your spouse, you’ll worry about ruining your kids’ lives growing up in a single-parent household. Divorced parents have a very challenging time entering new relationships as well because they’re hesitant to put their kids through any more trauma.

Your children will no doubt suffer from divorce. You’ll likely get to see them less often, and during the divorce process, they’ll probably see sides of your and your spouse you’ll wish they didn’t.

 

  1. Your Ex May Flourish – Can You Handle It?

Are you emotionally stable enough to see your spouse thrive post-divorce? What if they find new love before you do or get a promotion at work with all that free time? You’re not the only one stuck in a challenging relationship.

You need to realize that your partner may benefit from divorce just like you’re hoping to, so get ready for that.

 

  1. Behavioral Patterns Exist

Whenever you are ready for another relationship, you’re going to bring emotional baggage along with you no matter what. If you were married for a long time, then behavioral patterns have set in that you may not be able to identify yourself.

Working with a therapist can help avoid dragging your new partner into bad old habits that are hanging over from your divorce.

 

  1. Not Everyone’s Going to Agree

Not everyone sees the intimate details of what unwound your marriage. There’s a chance even your family will carry some resentment because they love your ex! They always loved your ex and are sad to see them go.

They may harbor some resentment over your divorce, even while they say they completely support your decision.

The bottom line is divorce is hard. While some marriages can be saved, divorce is sometimes the only healthy option. Just know that, even without kids, it’s about more than just the two of you, and feeling that relief of separation isn’t everyone’s reality.

Divorce has significant consequences that will follow you for years. Certainly, staying in a state of misery with your marriage is not fun either! Weigh your options carefully and lean on professionals you can trust to make the best decision for you and your family.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Best Couples Therapy Near Me

Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me 

 

When people type these words "best couples therapy near me" into their Google search field, they are often looking for a therapist near their home to help them out. 

Usually, those typing “best couples therapy near me” are typically at the stage in their relationship where things are “broken” and they are wondering what to do about it. 

Online couple counseling

Fairytales of high-school sweethearts who are so loving, yet the thought of touching their partner makes their skin crawl. 

They are often searching for ways to communicate with their partner in a more effective way and to see results in the moment instead of months later. 

Adults often want to know how to stop fighting and how to start communicating more effectively. They also want to have the joy they used to feel in their partnership.

Couples therapy can be emotionally intense. 

There’s this huge outpouring feeling, whether it be anger, love, regret, or hope. 

You might have some homework or things to work on with your partner or spouse until the next time you meet with your therapist.

You leave with high expectations and then life gets in the way. Sometimes, it is hard to remember all the things that worked as well as the issues you want to bring up in the next session. 

Individuals, and couples, come into our office because they realize they aren’t having the type of romance that they imagined, nor are they experiencing the degree of connection that they desire. 

If couples like what they see in the Google snippet or ad that describes our couples therapy practice, Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT), then we encourage you to click on the link and go to the website at www.lifecoachingandtherapy.com

One of the main reasons people may choose to visit the LCAT site is the 5-star reviews our clients post about us on Google. 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

I am so grateful for each and every client that we have had, the ones we currently have, and the ones we have yet to meet. 

When clients get the sexual satisfaction they long for, when couples begin to have ease in communication, and when they begin to learn ways to improve connection in their partnerships, the results just speak for themselves.

What makes a couples therapy practice the best? 

The results! Sense of safety. A long assessment period. Take at least 4 sessions to see if you are a match!

Many individuals, for example, are afraid to be honest with their romantic partner.

A couples therapy practice that is open about their strategies, results, and that gives you the option of having homework is definitely a good sign that it is the best. 

If you believe that going to couples therapy is a sign of failure, think again!  

Couples therapy involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, and sexual connection, which can make it incredibly complex. 

Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what they need or like is essential to having great results as a couples therapy practice!

One of the first things people do when they visit the site is view the Therapy Team bios. You will see that there are a variety of clinicians with different specialities, including couples therapy, anxiety, depression, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. 

Our team is amazing! We work in the Inner Aspects Counseling Model of therapy, and thus far, the results have been compelling.

Sometimes, it is imperative for couples therapy to focus on using fantasy and the illusion of variety for sexual satisfaction in long-term romantic relationships. 

At times, the therapist can act as a creator and innovator to help rediscover interests and help the couple create a relationship framework for a better future. 

For example, one technique couples therapists use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.

Our West Hartford staff consists of 7 licensed therapists – specializing in communication, repairing from betrayal, organizing relationship agreements, and setting you up for more intimate pleasure! 

Best Couples Therapy Near Me

That means all of our therapists have gone to graduate school, taken an exam, been licensed by the state, did 1000+ more clinical hours, more supervision, and have spent probably over $250,000 each on their tuition at this point. 

Because we know not everyone can afford our licensed therapists, we are in the process of training coaches to begin to get you results at a lower price. If you are interested in learning more about becoming an Inner Aspects Model Coach, let us know! 

When clients put in effort, so do we. 

It is as if you have your own personal couples therapy team in your pocket, because your clinician is just a text away. 

The great thing about technology is that it is advanced and secure enough to enable LCAT therapists to hold therapy sessions online - either through chats, text, or videos. 

This has a lot of mental health benefits, including being able to help clients during this challenging time of home quarantine.  

 

The Benefits of Online Psychotherapy are:

 

  • Flexible scheduling options and payment
  • Faster results and immediate interventions
  • Sometimes paid for by insurance companies
  • Request to record session to refer back to it if you would like
  • You can have complete discretion in your care 

 

 

It’s funny, because really, now with the online psychotherapy, the search phrase "best couples therapy near me" doesn't even have to include the "near me" any more.”

Telehealth is global now! 

 

Why does LCAT get consistent 5 star reviews from customers on Google?

Best Couples Therapy Near MeWe strive to provide an identity-affirming environment to all.

If you aren’t satisfied, we will send you to someone who can help. 

And, if we believe we can help you, our team sensitively handles your presenting concerns. 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 


healing trauma

Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

Is Healing Trauma Possible? A New Normal in the Age of COVID

 

COVID-19 has taken the world by storm creating a system of stress, chaos, and trauma. 

As mental health professionals, our goal is to help our clients in healing trauma, yet what happens when there is systemic trauma? 

Many are wondering how we are going to heal from this trauma, and how will we recover as individuals, families, relationships, communities, as a nation, and as a world?

I have discussed systemic trauma in terms of oppression of marginalized populations, yet this pandemic is causing waves of trauma reverberating throughout the world. 

healing trauma

To be clear, marginalized populations have been hit hardest in terms of this pandemic. According to data from the State of Connecticut online, COVID-19 infection rate for the black population and the hispanic population is double the infection rate for the white population.

Yet the resources are still not going to the vulnerable communities. 

Loved ones are not seeing one another, people are isolated, people are dying, people are living in fear. It is CLEAR that the broader system has been impacted.

The level of uncertainty in the world around us can become overwhelming.

As a mental health professional, I see so many around me personally and professionally struggling in the face of this pandemic and they all seem to want to begin healing the trauma, even though we are in it. 

As families are trying to create a new “normal” in the face of this global, systemic trauma, some families are planning funerals. 

 

Healing Trauma

Unfortunately, we do not know the long term effects of this on individuals, communities, and broader systems. 

What we do know is that these impacts will be great and we will need more support… probably emotionally, intellectually, somatically, and specifically around healing trauma. 

The veil has been lifted in our communities, our political system, and the world. 

Now as a community, we urge those that can to work together to create a world that is better than when this began. 

 

What can you do to help, if you are able? 

  • Begin to notice your privilege. 
    • Not everyone has the same resources or safety that you do. 
    • Some people cannot afford food. 
    • When you say “we are all going to be fine,” realize that that isn’t true for everyone. We have seen countless lives already impacted in mental health. 
  • Realize that you impact others 
  • Take care of yourself - shower, feed yourself, socially distance, etc.
  • Sew some masks for people that you know are struggling with supplies. 
  • Cook meals for those who are in need. 

 

We cannot unsee the atrocities and lives lost. 

We cannot unsee how marginalized communities were hit harder than privileged communities.

We cannot unsee the value of mental health, the value of health care, the value of our communities.

My hope is that we can come together as a community, and work towards healing trauma together to address what we know more than ever to be true… Can we create a new normal together?

At Life Coaching and Therapy, LLC we are ready to collaborate with you!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


putting your family first

PUTTING YOUR FAMILY FIRST! Thanks to COVD19

PUTTING YOUR FAMILY FIRST!

Thanks to COVD19

 

So you want to learn to start putting your family first?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of putting family first!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to start putting family first, ways to get through the pandemic, and how to remind yourself to continue doing this, even if you are feeling depleted.

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for putting your family first, and hopefully yourself and a partner!

My tips for putting family first will surely enlighten you on how to create a different feeling in your house!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to start putting family first!

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

https://lifecoachingandtherapy.com/ ←HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, PornHub, Maxim, Daily Mail, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, HeadSpace, VICE, and more!

 

Watch now:

 

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

 

Say hi on social:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thesexhealer

Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.