See a Therapist instead of Talking to a Friend!

See a Therapist instead of Talking to a Friend!

 

If you see a therapist instead of talking to a friend, you are going to learn a lot!

It is important to have friends and having a therapist is different than having a friend.

Therapists hold varying opinions, even though it may feel cozy and secure, much like a friendship.

@lifecoachingandtherapy

See a Therapist instead of Talking to a Friend! If you see a therapist instead of talking to a friend, you are going to learn a lot! It is important to have friends and having a therapist is different than having a friend. Therapists hold varying opinions, even though it may feel cozy and secure, much like a friendship.

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

 

Self-Esteem vs Self-Confidence: What’s the Difference?

Self-Esteem vs Self-Confidence: What’s the Difference?

 

When it comes to self-esteem vs self-confidence, we’re all guilty of sometimes confusing these two terms and thinking they mean exactly the same. However, self-esteem and self-confidence are not synonyms, although they are very similar. 

For you to understand the difference, we will examine these two terms. You will not be confused for long once you understand what self-esteem and confidence are, and it can also help you better understand those around you.

 

What Is Self-Esteem? 

Your self-esteem is your level of self-worth and appreciation. It also includes your life experiences and relationships with other people, shaping and altering your sense of self-worth.

Self-esteem, as the term suggests, is about how we estimate or value ourselves. It’s a concept deeply rooted in our feelings, ideas, and actions. The term ‘estimate’ (aestimare) originates from Latin and means ‘to appraise, value, rate, or estimate.’ Understanding this origin can enhance your knowledge and appreciation of the concept of self-esteem.

Strong self-esteem is a powerful attribute. It liberates individuals from the need for external validation, such as money or prestige. It fosters acceptance of oneself and others, encourages risk tolerance, and opens doors to new experiences. This understanding can inspire and motivate you to nurture your own self-esteem. 

 

What Is Self Confidence? 

The term “self-confidence” describes the assurance we possess in particular areas of our lives. It is our conviction that we can accomplish our objectives and overcome obstacles. Unlike self-esteem, self-confidence is more outwardly focused and frequently easier to develop. 

Since knowledge and experience are the sources of confidence, our confidence level increases with our level of experience. The term “confidence” is derived from the Latin word, which means “to trust.” In other words, one has to have faith in their own abilities and their capacity to interact with others to be self-assured. 

Successful experiences usually result in increased self-confidence, which increases self-confidence in those domains even more. Most people, however, rely more on their self-confidence than on improving their self-esteem to be happy. The issue with this is that, unless we rise to a new challenge, our success is usually fleeting. 

 

Impacts of Low Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Low self-confidence or self-esteem are common problems for many people. For some, it just affects certain circumstances, while for others, it can be crippling or limiting.

If you lack these qualities, individual unpleasant or disappointing events might negatively impact your self-esteem or confidence. This might lead to a vicious loop of self-fulfilling prophecies, discouraging you from attempting them because of your pessimistic outlook on the future. Of course, this produces unsatisfactory results.

For example, if you lack confidence in yourself and receive negative feedback from your boss, you may think, “What else can I expect? I am stupid. This experience proves it, so I may as well give up.”

If you feel good about yourself and get negative feedback from your superior, you could ask yourself, “Where did I go wrong? I’ll research it so that I can improve next time.” You don’t feel less of a person despite your disappointment with the poor evaluation.

 

How to Improve Your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Luckily, there are many ways to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. After all, these two terms have a great impact on all areas of your life, so it’s in your interest to improve them. 

 

Start with Self-acceptance

Regardless of the circumstances, feeling better about yourself and other people is facilitated by increasing your self-acceptance.

We all make mistakes, and accepting them can make your life a lot easier. By engaging in self-acceptance exercises, you can:

  • Acknowledge that making mistakes is a vital part of learning 
  • Consider how you could approach challenges differently or change your approach to get different results.
  • Review your actions and try to change them without self-blame.

 

Learn More about Yourself

Pay attention to the situations or ideas that make you feel more or less confident or good about yourself. Be honest and list all your accomplishments, big and small. Once you are used to celebrating small wins, you will feel more confident and encouraged to tackle bigger projects. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and accomplishments helps. 

Consider that you are the only person with you 24/7. As you are beginning to learn more about yourself, focus on your own growth – which is something you are actually in control of. This means considering your goals and the aspects you would like to enhance or modify.

 

Challenge Your Thinking Patterns

When describing oneself to others or to yourself, be mindful of the words you use. We frequently show others more generosity and kindness than we do ourselves.

Acknowledge and confront your inner critic and try to convert them into your friend, not your enemy. After all, our inner critic is trying to protect us from negative experiences, and acknowledging its function allows you to become friends with it.  

Pay attention to the messages that help you respect who you are, and ignore the ones that doubt your worth or capacity. Use affirmations and constructive self-talk to rewire your brain every day, wherever you are.

 

Make Positive Changes in Your Life

To boost your confidence and sense of self-worth, you could decide to make some adjustments in your life. Consider the things you can change to feel better about yourself. For instance, you could wish to change your career, relationships, education, or acquire new skills.

Create a strategy that will entail specific objectives you want to achieve. Also, provide a timeline so you don’t feel stressed about this strategy of positive change. If it feels overwhelming for you, divide the objective into actionable steps and add them to your calendar. That can save you time and energy and keep you accountable at all times. 

 

Final Words

Whether you have low self-esteem or self-confidence, accepting that you’ve got the power to change it is crucial. As people, we’re all different, and we have unique experiences in life that can result in lower self-esteem or self-confidence. However, there are many ways for you to change that and start living a more confident, richer life! 

If you continue to struggle with boosting your self-esteem or self-confidence, consider reaching out to a therapist and working on it with them. Therapists can help you acquire a valuable set of techniques for this area and discover what is causing your low self-esteem or self-confidence. 

 

If you want to start your body journey at home, I invite you to learn more in our at home therapy video.

Body Image Therapy: Learn Positive Body Image

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

pick-me girl

What Does It Mean To Be A Pick-Me Girl?

Relationship Experts Explain How To Know If You Are A Pick-Me Girl?

You might not have a ton of girlfriends, for starters.

Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, CST and Owner of Life Coaching and Therapy was interviewed for this article by Addison Aloian, published on April 28, 2024 in

You know her, you (probably don’t) love her: She’s the pick-me girl. She’s not like other girls. In fact, she isn’t really friends with girls, and she definitely isn’t a “girl’s girl.” Instead, she likes to sit and talk negatively about other women while watching football over a pint of beer with the guys—and she makes it her entire personality.

The pick-me girl goes “out of her way to stand out from other women in a way that is often for the male gaze, acceptance, approval, attention,” says Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, a sex therapist based in West Hartford, Connecticut. It’s not exactly a ~good thing~ to be this type of girl, since they often cater their personalities to men.

Wondering what, exactly, a pick-me girl is and—gulp—if you are one? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell.) Ahead, experts explain the pick-me girl and pick-me boy labels, share common signs of pick-me girl behavior, and potential solutions to work on that part of yourself that’s screaming “pick me!!”

What is a Pick-Me Girl?

The pick-me girl tries to establish themselves outside of the typical normal behaviors for women and girls, says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, a professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University, Fullerton. “A lot of it is rooted in insecurity, low self-esteem, and competition,” she adds.

The goal of the pick-me girl is to be the one who gets picked by the gender of their choice, according to Betsy Chung, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expert based in Newport Beach, California. She might say something like, “I’m not like other girls,” or pretend to be chill around guys when—surprise—she’s not chill. She also may pretend to be into hobbies that the guys around her like, such as sports, or act like she’s “not into drama,” Pasciucco says.

But just because a woman is into sports or has other hobbies that aren’t traditionally feminine doesn’t mean she’s automatically a pick-me girl. She’s only a pick-me girl if she isn’t *actually* into said hobbies, and is just pretending to be so that she can cater to the interests of guys.

The origin of the term is actually from a season two episode of Grey’s Anatomy, where Meredith told Derek to “Pick me, choose me, love me,” but it’s recently gone viral on TikTok. (There are over 480,000 posts tagged #Pickme on the app.)

What is a Pick-Me Boy?

The pick-me boy is similar, except that they’re not seeking male validation—instead, they’re trying to impress women. He might say something cringey, like working the fact that he’s “a feminist” into a conversation, Suwinyattichaiporn says. This boy might also degrade other men, or try to appeal to women by claiming to be attentive or caring about growth or going to therapy, Pasciucco adds. A more obvious example would be going out with his guy friends and trying to outdrink everyone to impress women at the bar, Chung adds. Essentially, a pick-me boy is something of a chameleon. He can either be super macho or very sensitive, depending on the type of girl(s) he’s around.

What’s important here is that just because a guy is a feminist or cares about going to therapy doesn’t automatically make him a pick-me boy. What does, though, is if he doesn’t *actually* care about those topics—and instead is just advertising it to get approval from women. It “enforces gender stereotypes” by appearing to subvert them for personal gain, Pasciucco says.

Signs of a Pick-Me Girl

There are a few tell-tale signs that might point to someone being a pick-me girl. Experts say to watch out for these:

  • She doesn’t have close girlfriends, and she doesn’t consider herself a “girl’s girl,” Suwinyattichaiporn says.
  • She constantly needs validation and affirmations (“you’re so pretty, you’re smart”) from the men in her life, either her guy friends or romantic partner(s).
  • She talks negatively about other girls in front of guys, especially a guy’s ex-girlfriend or potential romantic partner, and she’s not aware of the impact her words have on them.
  • She’s really competitive. Maybe she doesn’t want another girl on her flag football team because she assumes the other girl is not athletic or doesn’t know how to play.
  • She tries to let everyone know that she’s “different” from other girls, maybe through her hobbies or interests. For instance, maybe she likes to say she’s “not about drama unlike other girls,” or she’s always talking about sports to her guy friends, Chung says.

Why is Being a Pick-Me Girl Problematic?

The whole concept of the pick-me girl is based on seeking male validation. It stems from internalized misogyny, gender stereotypes, and sexism. “That perpetuates the stigma that masculinity is better,” Pasciucco says, because the way women think they have to stand out to men is by appealing to their interests. It rejects a type of femininity, Chung adds.

Being a pick-me can also be a symptom of “having low self-esteem [and] feeling very insecure about your identity,” Suwinyattichaiporn says. Sometimes, they have broken families or don’t get enough attention from their dads, so they seek it externally to feel better about themselves.

“We live in a society where women and girls were taught since a young age to be a certain way—to be nice girls,” Suwinyattichaiporn says, adding that it feeds into the idea of packaging yourself a certain way to get a boyfriend, and that’s how you’re considered “successful.” “[The concept of the pick-me girl] is rooted in misogyny and female competition. Pick me girls may talk negatively about feminine women in order to distinguish themselves to be ‘different.”

And above all, it’s presenting yourself in a false way for attention, Chung says: “At the end of the day, what you’re doing is you’re showing a less authentic version of yourself.” That can lead to inauthentic friendships and relationships, especially once you get close enough with someone to share your insecurities with them. And, of course, it’s just not nice to put other women down, regardless of who you’re with, Chung adds.

Why is the Term Pick-Me Problematic?

The term itself is problematic, too, though. First of all, it’s a way to label and objectify someone based on one component of their identity. “We all have so much underneath,” Pasciucco says. “[Using this label is] minimizing, and it doesn’t see women as complex human beings.”

It can also be harmful for women who “don’t necessarily understand their personality development yet or why they are seeking external validation,” Suwinyattichaiporn says. Plus, it’s a negative descriptor that might be stamped onto someone just because of their genuine interests.

“While hanging out with all guys or wanting to be with men isn’t necessarily a bad thing, what’s harmful is someone condemning another person for their preferences,” Pasciucco says. It insinuates that girls have to conform with what’s considered traditionally feminine in order to be normal or considered a girl’s girl, Suwinyattichaiporn adds.

For instance, if a girl has a lot of guy friends (and not a lot of girlfriends) in school because she loves playing on the different sports teams, it would be problematic to call her a pick-me girl instead of realizing her interests simply differ from someone with more traditional “girly” interests, Suwinyattichaiporn adds.

What if I’m a Pick-Me Girl?

If you’re reading this and some of the signs sound a *bit* familiar, it’s okay. You may have not realized that you exhibit these types of traits until they were laid out in front of you. JSYK, there are some pick-me elements that might be inherent to one’s personality, but others can develop over time, Suwinyattichaiporn says.

For instance, say you’re a true pick-me girl, a.k.a., you like sports because your guy friends like them. When this identity starts to include gossiping about girls in front of the guys to make yourself look better, “that’s where it becomes a problem beyond your personality” interests, Pasciucco says.

So, if you think you might be a pick-me girl—and again, it’s okay if you are!—there are a few things you can do to implement more healthy habits.

Journal

First, look into how to increase your self-esteem and self-worth so you can start not viewing other women as competition, Suwinyattichaiporn says. Try journaling with the following prompts she recommends: What kind of relationships with women have I had in my life before? What are some of the trigger points I experience when I talk to other women? What do I want to manifest in the future of what female relationships look like for me?

You can also try confidence journaling, which consists of writing down three reasons why you’re great, Suwinyattichaiporn says. It can be simple, like “I’m a great friend,” “I’m a great listener,” “I donated money today that made me feel helpful,” or “I cooked amazing pasta last night.” Once you do it frequently enough, you’ll realize all the amazing things about yourself. Confidence journaling “allows you to become more self-assured,” which will help you “seek external validation less,” she says.

Meditate

You can also try meditating on some powerful affirmations. For instance, if you struggle with body image issues and find yourself comparing your body to other women, instead, think positive thoughts about your body as you meditate. Maybe you start with the affirmation, “I love my body,” Suwinyattichaiporn suggests.

Make Some Girlfriends

This one might seem obvious, but becoming friends with other women is nurturing and very helpful in personal growth,” Suwinyattichaiporn says. To do that, you can join a walking, running, or hiking group around you, or even try group fitness classes and ask a girl in your class if she wants to get coffee afterward, she says.

Speaking of friends, if you have a gal pal who exhibits this pattern of behaviors, have a low-key open dialogue about it to help her overcome her insecurities, Suwinyattichaiporn says. Being that supportive female friend (she may not know she needs) can show her it’s possible to have a whole crew cheering her on.

Pick Up A New Hobby

“When people do things that they are passionate about, they’re less likely to be looking at other people and comparing themselves to others,” Suwinyattichaiporn says. Her advice is to try a bunch of different things, and see what sticks. You can start with different categories of your life, so if you’re into exercising, try joining a pickleball group. Or, if you’re into arts and music, consider taking a class. Without trying, you won’t know what makes you happy and what’s a good way to spend your time.

Shift Your Internal Dialogue

If you’re ruminating on comparing yourself to another woman, stop the internal conversation, Pasciucco says. Instead of criticizing her personal interests, for example, shift your mindset to think instead: “I appreciate that she has freedom to choose things that aren’t what I like,” she says. “Work on becoming conscious—stopping, taking a breath, and observing if you’re being critical.” Intentionally rejecting those knee-jerk negative reactions is the start of “trying to find a way to uplift other women,” Pasciucco adds. Plus, the more you practice this mindset shift, the more natural these positive thoughts will become.

Work With A Therapist

If you’re not already in therapy, find a therapist who will focus on helping you “recognize and build on your strengths, but also learn how to accept weaknesses,” Chung says. “The goal is really to be able to trust that you have value simply by being yourself.”

Be More Intentional About Your Relationships

The first step: Taking stock of your current connections. Ask yourself, “When do I feel uncomfortable in a relationship—and why?” and “How do I present myself in a relationship—am I showing up authentically?” If you find you’re chasing attention and approval from others, that may be something to talk to a therapist and/or do some deeper reflection about.

“If it feels like you’re doing too much and you’re doing things that go outside of your personal values, that might also be a sign that you’re trying to chase approval, rather than showing up authentically,” Chung says.

If a relationship feels one-sided—even if it’s in your favor—it might never develop into a super deep or intimate connection because “you’re basically just in a relationship with yourself,” she explains. Pick-me peeps tend to operate based on what the other person wants, and they end up melding into that, rather than being themselves. Ultimately, you won’t feel fulfilled by being another person’s dream personified because it’s not what you actually want.

Remember, it’s not about guys picking you—it’s about you picking yourself.

About the Author:

Addison Aloian (she/her) is the assistant love & life editor at Women’s Health. Outside of topics related to lifestyle, relationships, and dating, she also loves covering fitness and style. In her free time, she enjoys lifting weights at the gym, reading mystery and romance novels, watching (and critiquing!) the latest movies that have garnered Oscars buzz, and wandering around the West Village in New York City. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has also appeared in AllureStyleCasterL’Officiel USAV MagazineVMAN, and more. Read full bio

Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner?

Why Do I Struggle To Communicate With My Partner?

 

Are you asking yourself, “Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?” or ask others, “Why is my partner such a bad communicator?”

This is a common problem, and finding solutions can be difficult.

You are not alone in your relationship struggles.

Here is a quick tip to help you overcome the communication barrier with your partner.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

 

Micro Cheating – How to Deal with Your Partner’s Flirty Habits

If you’re a little uncomfy with your partner’s flirty texting habits, read this article about micro cheating.

Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, CST and Life Coaching and Therapy Owner was interviewed for Women’s Health article, “What is Micro-Cheating, And How Should I Handle It In A Relationship?” Written By Jordana Comiter, Published

Picture this: Your friend has been in a happy, healthy, monogamous relationship—that is, until the internet convinced her otherwise. She confides in you that behaviors she thought were normal (e.g., following their exes on Instagram and liking their friends’ “thirst traps”), are actually a huge red flag, according to TikTok. Now, she’s concerned that her partner’s cheating—sorry, micro-cheating.

There are dozens of videos by podcast hosts, dating coaches, and other digital creators introducing the internet to infidelity’s newest subgenre, leading people to second-guess their partner’s behaviors. One user wondered, “Is my boyfriend finding other women attractive micro-cheating?” And another asked, “What about lunch with work wives?”

These examples might sound a little extreme, but micro-cheating—or small behaviors that aren’t quite cheating, but still a betrayal of your partner’s trust—can be just as painful to the non-cheating partner as physical infidelity.

But, the good news: There are ways to address these feelings (and your S.O.’s behavior!) so you and your partner can be on the same page about what a committed relationship looks like.

What is considered micro-cheating?

Micro-cheating is typically characterized by small actions that don’t cross over to infidelity, but often give the impression of infidelity to the non-cheating partner, says Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, a sex therapist based in West Hartford, Connecticut. It “refers to breaches of trust within a romantic partnership that do not escalate into physical infidelity.”

Behaviors that can fall under the micro-cheating umbrella don’t always mean your partner wants to cheat; in fact, they may not even realize they’re betraying you. Oftentimes, micro-cheating takes the form of small, unintentionally hurtful actions, but even seemingly minor transgressions can be extremely painful to the faithful partner.

If you’re the one micro-cheating, you might not be going out of your way to have an affair or hurt your partner—but you are connecting with someone in a way that feels inappropriate, wherein “if your partner found out, they would be uncomfortable,” says Morgan Anderson, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, relationship coach, and author of Love Magnet. Choosing to act this way can sometimes be a symptom of feeling anger, hurt, or disconnect toward a partner, she adds.

Since micro-cheating is about small behaviors and habits, everyone has a different definition of what constitutes it, says Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting: A Step-By-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That’s Meant for You. “What is okay in certain relationships might not be in others, because it depends on the two people involved,” she explains.

Still, here are a few examples of common behaviors that someone might view as micro-cheating, according to the experts:

  • Dating profiles: having an online dating profile (even if not actively using it) to see what else is out there.
  • Physical contact: any kind of physical interaction that feels intimate, like holding hands with or massaging a friend.
  • Social media interactions: chatting with an ex online, following people on Instagram for the sole purpose of physical attraction and engaging in their content, or directly messaging someone in a flirtatious way.
  • Flirting: flirtatious behavior, whether it’s in-person (e.g., overly complimenting a mutual friend) or digitally (e.g., sexting).

What’s the difference between micro-cheating and emotional cheating?

Emotional cheating, according to Pasciucco, is a little more intimate than micro-cheating, and it typically grows and escalates over time. “If there is building communication—whether through frequency, pet names, sharing, vulnerability, listening, problem-solving, et cetera—that would be considered emotional infidelity,” she says.

However, since micro-cheating is so subjective to a person’s views and comfort level, one person’s definition of micro-cheating might overlap with another person’s definition of emotional cheating. In fact, according to Bronstein, micro-cheating is a form of emotional cheating. “If any type of physical cheating is cheating, then anything in the in-between [like emotional cheating] is micro-cheating,” she says.

So…is micro-cheating harmful?

Not only can micro-cheating hurt the faithful partner, but it can permanently wound the relationship, according to the experts.

For starters, the person being micro-cheated on often feels disrespected, or like they are not enough for their partner, says Pasciucco. As for the relationship, this behavior can lead to similar trust issues that might result from physical cheating, she adds.

That said, relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all—and people’s definitions of commitment, fidelity, and cheating might differ. The level of harm caused by micro-cheating will vary among individuals and couples because it comes down to the rules determined by your partnership, your comfort level, and the intention behind the action.

Non-monogamous vs. monogamous

An important note: If you’re in an open or polyamorous relationship, it’s still possible to emotionally (or sexually) cheat. Ideally, people who are in open partnerships or polyamorous relationships have established policies. For them, a dating profile might be part of their agreement—but they might be hurt by the amount of additional dates their partner is going on, or by the level of attention given to a third party.

But even in monogamous relationships, everyone has a different threshold for what they consider offensive, Pasciucco explains. Some might be insulted by their partner watching porn, while others might not care because “porn isn’t a person.” Or perhaps, you don’t mind your partner following their exes on social media, but it makes them insecure if you follow yours.

Meanwhile, for others, it comes down to the micro-cheater’s objective. For example, there’s a difference between somebody simply forgetting their wedding ring at home or purposely going empty-handed with the intention to signal single status, Pasciucco says. To determine the objective of the action, Anderson suggests looking for a few signs: Are they being secretive? Do they seem distant? Are they overreacting to your questioning?

At what point am I overreacting?

If your partner’s behavior is bothering you, you’re allowed to communicate that even if your partner views their actions as normal, Pasciucco says. Hopefully, you can get on the same page. But maybe they aren’t interested in changing their habits, and that’s okay. Just like it’s okay if you decide you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t meet you where you’re at.

While you’re certainly allowed to have boundaries and expectations in a relationship, you might be hurting yourself if you sound the alarm every time your partner hits “like” on an Instagram photo. In some cases, those trust issues can become a “self-fulfilling prophecy,” Bronstein adds. If someone shows a lot of insecurity and distrust, that partner might end up actually cheating since you think they are cheating anyway, she explains.

For those that have encountered betrayal or infidelity in the past, you might be particularly scared of cheating—which is understandable. Many people go into a new relationship and second-guess their partner’s actions. They think they’ll behave the same way an ex did, says Bronstein. “Because you’re on edge, you look at that new person as guilty until proven innocent, rather than innocent until proven guilty.”

All three experts recommend working through your trauma and fears through therapy and/or productive conversations with your partner. Because if you show up to a future relationship with unresolved issues, it can be hard to differentiate between your insecurities and your intuition, Bronstein explains. For example, say a past partner micro-cheated through texting interactions, you might overanalyze or overreact to a future partner’s phone use, adds Anderson.

What should I do if my partner is micro-cheating on me?

When you believe your partner is micro-cheating on you, all three experts advise having an open, honest, and direct conversation with them. And they have a few tips for doing so:

1. Set rules/boundaries ahead of time.

This one’s more of a preventative measure, but since every relationship is different, it’s important to establish ground rules. If you’re entering a polyamorous and/or open relationship, have an explicit conversation about what your boundaries are. And if you’re in a monogamous relationship, discuss what monogamy and exclusivity mean to both of you.

“If you want to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship, having a conversation about the bounds of fidelity in their relationship is a really important place to start to get closer,” Pasciucco says. “And if you’ve never explicitly said things are problematic to you, you’re just assuming your partner has been in your brain your whole life.” Spoiler alert: They’re not, so if you haven’t had that conversation, it’s time to pencil it in.

Bronstein even recommends documenting the agreed-upon boundaries to refer back to. Whether that means a few bullet points in your notes app or a signed, hand-written note, creating some kind of “relationship bible” or “contract” is key to clear communication.

2. Approach your conversation calmly.

Rather than show up with anger, be vulnerable and “lead with curiosity,” says Anderson. If your partner has a habit of flirting online with their exes, ask them where this behavior is coming from. You might say, “I’ve noticed that you still DM your exes and respond to their Instagram Stories. Is something off in our relationship, or is there another reason you’re doing this? I want to work on this with you.”

3. Use “I” statements.

Using “I” statements can also be beneficial, Bronstein adds. Share how something makes you feel, and then give your partner the space to share their perspective, she explains. So, instead of saying, “You’re cheating on me by being handsy with friends,” try something like, “I felt uncomfortable and confused when I saw photos of you cuddling with a friend the other night.”

Here’s why it works: If you start by critiquing their behavior, “the other person might get defensive, but by sharing just how you’re feeling, the other person can decide to react however they want,” she says. And hopefully, this leads them to feel empathetic and validate your feelings, rather than get defensive over feeling accused.

4. Revisit your “rules” whenever you need to.

Your comfort level might change over time—and that’s totally okay. For example, maybe you thought you were okay with your S.O. maintaining a friendly relationship with an old hookup, but as your relationship grows more serious, it starts to make you uncomfortable. If you do choose to write up a “contract,” set up regular intervals to revisit and discuss your rules, suggests Bronstein.

Ultimately, while everyone can hope for a positive reaction to a clear conversation about micro-cheating, that might not always be the case. If you’ve addressed how your partner’s behavior has made you feel and your partner doesn’t stop, “you have to be honest with yourself about what your needs are in a relationship,” Anderson says. Because if that person cannot create a healthy, secure relationship with you—or you have different ideas of what constitutes commitment—it might be time to move on.

 

JORDANA COMITER

Jordana Comiter (she/her) is a freelance writer from South Florida and a graduate of Tulane University and Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism. She loves covering all things lifestyle, including dating, entertainment + pop culture, health + wellness, travel, and more. When she’s not writing, she enjoys group fitness classes, wholesome romance novels, and live music.

Can You See Two Therapists at Once?

Can You See Two Therapists at Once?

 

Are you wondering, ‘Can you see two therapists at once?’ If so, we’ve got some good news for you: You can see as many therapists as you want. However, keep in mind that it will be difficult to achieve progress if you’re talking to more than one therapist and if these therapists aren’t coordinating care with one another. 

On the other hand, you may see a different therapist for your marriage or relationship and a different one for your private life. These kinds of therapies would not conflict with one another because their objectives are different. To gain a better understanding of whether seeing two therapists is a good or bad idea, let us first look at the reasons why someone chooses to see a therapist. 

 

Reasons to Seek a Therapist

Seeking professional help for mental health issues has been stigmatized and characterized as something that “only those with mental disorders need.” This is because healthcare in the United States only covers therapy if you have a diagnosis. 

However, many people, regardless of whether they have a documented mental diagnosis, might benefit from therapy or coaching. If someone chooses to attend therapy, it can significantly improve their overall mental and emotional well-being.

Many people may benefit greatly from effective therapy. Nonetheless, it is crucial for some individuals, particularly those who struggle with mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, addiction, or other disorders. With the help of therapy, you can overcome the many challenges of life and lead a more fulfilling life. It can help you better understand your experiences and how they impact your well-being. Like visiting the dentist or doctor for regular checkups or wellness tests, talking to a therapist can help you maintain good mental health. 

These are the most common reasons why people decide to see a therapist:

  • You have intense feelings of sadness or hopelessness
  • You can’t find a solution or explanation to your challenges and issues
  • You use unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, drugs, porn)
  • You or someone close to you is dealing with a chronic health condition
  • You’re going through a big change in your life
  • You’ve recently lost someone
  • You have family issues
  • You feel the need to talk to someone 

 

Seeing More Therapists

So, when is it recommended to see more than one therapist? If you are looking for a therapist for the first time, it could be helpful to schedule initial sessions with a few different therapists before selecting one. 

Another reason why someone might see two mental health professionals is if they complement each other. For instance, you might see your psychiatrist about the medications you’re taking and your therapist to discuss things that are bringing stress into your life. 

Another possible situation would be visiting one therapist for couples counseling with your spouse and another for individual concerns like anxiety or parenting. However, sometimes, these two therapies will not work well. For instance, you may be addressing sexuality issues with your partner while also beginning therapy to process the experience of a sexual trauma. If these therapists were not coordinating care, your individual work could be impacted if your couple therapist was focusing on strengthening the physical connection. 

 

Downsides of Seeing Two Therapists at Once

Although there are several valid reasons why seeing two therapists at once makes sense, it still has certain downsides that you need to be aware of. 

Some people think they can solve their problems more quickly by seeing multiple therapists for the same problem. If this describes you, know that seeing more than one therapist will not actually expedite the healing process.  

On the other hand, if you’re determined to see two therapists with two different approaches, make sure both therapists are aware of it so they can adjust their interventions for you to benefit from it. 

 

Therapy Benefits

Keep in mind that most people decide to see a therapist because they are aware of the potential benefits it might have for their lives. That said, be aware of the fact that seeing more therapists might limit those benefits and make it difficult for you to experience them. 

 

Improve Communication Skills

You may develop constructive and good communication skills with the help of therapy. You can successfully manage almost every aspect of your life if you have strong communication skills. Therapy may help you develop the skills you need to feel secure when talking with people, regardless of whether you tend to avoid conflict, lose your temper easily, or experience nervousness during direct conversations.

 

Improve Conflict Skills

Therapy may be helpful if you struggle to resolve conflicts of any kind in your life. By working with a mental health professional, you may gain the skills necessary to confidently ask for what you want from relationships and circumstances, create healthy relationship boundaries, and communicate your needs clearly. Anyone may benefit from learning conflict resolution techniques, and the more adept you are at handling it, the more successful you will be in managing many other facets of your life.

 

Increased Self Awareness

A person can get a deeper understanding of themselves through therapy, including their emotional and mental well-being, past experiences, and general behavior. You may learn how your own ideas, feelings, and behaviors could be holding you back from advancing in life and living a better, healthier existence through self-reflection.

 

Develop Coping Skills and Strategies

If you want to take on any of your challenges or make changes in your life, you must have a strategy. Therapy for mental health issues teaches you how to create effective coping mechanisms. Equipped with these adaptive techniques, you can counteract obstacles in your life. You can progress and get over almost anything that attempts to get in your way if you know how to resolve conflicts and challenges constructively and in a peaceful way.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Coach Videos and Guides Can Improve Sex Life and Health

Sex Coach Videos and Guides Can Improve Sex Life and Health

 

Did you know you can learn about sex through sex coach videos? Sex education is not only reserved for students who are taking these classes. Regardless of your age, you can learn everything there is about sex, intimacy, and relationships. 

Not only that, but you can watch educational and engaging webinars on a variety of topics, including how to improve intimacy with your partner and how to try new things in bed. After all, if sex is not boring, then learning about it should be just as enjoyable! We will look at how sex coaches can make your relationship work better and lead to a more fulfilling sexual life in this article.

 

What Is a Sex Coach? 

An experienced expert who offers guidance and education on matters about intimacy, sex, and relationships is known as a sex coach. They educate you on how to completely realize your sexual potential and assist you in resolving issues like low libido, sexless marriage, and sexual dysfunction.

Sex coaching offers practical strategies for overcoming obstacles in the sexual life, in contrast to sex therapy, which concentrates on healing from prior traumas or dysfunctions. Clients of sex coaches can benefit from a variety of special advantages, such as learning seduction techniques, recognizing limits, and being more tolerant of their desires.

 

What Does a Sex Coach Do?

We look for coaches to help us improve at everything in our lives—business and finances, relationships, fitness, and health. Then, why wouldn’t we look for a coach to help us live the sexual life we’ve always desired?

Considering how vital intimacy is to our health, we have to take action to resolve any problems that are keeping us from having a satisfying sexual life. However, it can be awkward and ineffective to discuss these issues with friends or therapists who aren’t specialists in the field of sexuality.

Sex coaches are trained specialists with specific skills and knowledge who may assist us in overcoming obstacles and improving our sexual enjoyment.

 

What Does a Session with a Sex Coach Look Like?

It’s crucial to understand what to anticipate from a sex coaching session, regardless of whether you want to work as a sex coach or hire one.

It’s important to understand that sex coaching does not include sexual activity first. Practitioners never take off their clothing. Having said that, experienced sex trainers may impart sexual skills through practical means. They are also permitted to engage in specific forms of seduction and contact within the bounds of the law. 

You can talk about your sexual experiences and feelings with a sex coach you decide to see. Expect them to ask about the problem’s past and gather any information necessary to help you.

A sex coach will discuss potential solutions with you based on the particular coaching technique they use. They might recommend watching movies or doing homework. During a session, practice techniques could include self-touch, movement, breathwork, touch skills training, and communication tools. Additionally, a sex coach will constantly support you in overcoming shame and gaining greater confidence in relation to your sexual issues.

Once you are done with those tasks, whether it’s during the session or after it, in the comfort of your home, you’ll share what you’ve discovered and your current thoughts on it. Finally, your sex coach will go over how you may carry these improvements into your daily life going forward.

 

Difference Between a Sex Coach and a Sex Therapist

While sex therapy may delve into past traumas that have continued to affect you as an adult, sex coaching focuses on practical strategies and exercises to help you get over your sexual obstacles. Because of this, those who have more dysfunction or unresolved trauma typically benefit from sex therapy.

Unlike therapists, who must pursue advanced degrees in social work, psychology, religion, or medicine, sex coaches can start working with clients as soon as they want. A sex therapist has a bachelor’s degree, a master’s degree, and a certification from an accredited board to maintain their status. 

 

Reasons to Work with a Sex Coach

Society teaches us that having sex is something we ought to be able to do naturally. The ability to be a wonderful lover is not necessarily inherent, even though the desire is. In our culture, talking about sex or giving clear instructions is still frowned upon. It implies that there aren’t enough opportunities for people to learn how to have fulfilling relationships with others. And very few are fortunate enough to have a mentor in the form of a spouse.

Sadly, most individuals don’t provide constructive criticism, which leaves a lot of people unaware of what constitutes excellent sex. Working with a competent sex coach might be beneficial in this situation. Sexuality may be taught and learned. Seeking advice from an expert who is also encouraging and nonjudgmental is the best approach to learning about it.

The majority of people will find that the only way to obtain practical, precise guidance on becoming a better lover is to hire a sex coach. They’re not only knowledgeable on the psychology and physiology of sex, yet they can also offer advice and criticism in real-time.

 

How to Choose the Right Sex Coach for Yourself

Keep in mind that selecting a sex coach is a personal decision on the best course of action. As you read about the many kinds of sex coaches, pay attention to your body. Imagine finishing your assignment after speaking with your coach. Imagine now that you are working on experience exercises or that you are learning how to touch your coach sensually. Which one fits your requirements and personality the best?

Think about how important it is to you to have a coach who shares your gender, sexual orientation, race, or any other common experience. Finding the right coach for you requires speaking with potential candidates and gauging your feelings toward them. 

The best way to choose the right sex coach is to trust your gut, as simple as it sounds. Of course, read other people’s opinions and ask them questions if you have any. In the end, if you don’t like the first sex coach you encounter, you can always find another one and see if it fits you better. In the meantime, make sure you check out our sex coach videos and guides! 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Quick Tips Video: Grounding Techniques for Anxiety!

Quick Tips Video: Grounding Techniques for Anxiety!

 

Feeling overwhelmed? Discover simple and effective grounding techniques to help manage anxiety in our latest quick tips video.

Learn practical exercises you can use anytime, anywhere to bring yourself back to the present moment and regain control.

Perfect for anyone looking to reduce stress and improve mental well-being.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

 

Healing the Wounds Within: The Power of Therapy for Trauma

Healing the Wounds Within: The Power of Therapy for Trauma

 

Therapy for trauma exists because trauma can leave deep scars on one’s psyche, affecting every aspect of life. Nowadays, therapy is a potent tool for recovering from past trauma and taking back control of one’s life. In this blog post, we will examine the healing power of therapy for trauma and provide an overview of the different techniques that can support the healing process.

 

Understanding Trauma

Trauma, whether caused by mistreatment, mishaps, or other upsetting events, frequently leaves a lasting impact on a person’s mental and emotional health. Trauma’s aftereffects can include crippling anxiety, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and even physical symptoms. Healing from trauma takes more than just time; it requires deliberate effort and professional guidance to truly break free.

 

The Power of Therapy

Therapy serves as a safe haven for trauma survivors, providing them with the support and tools needed to navigate the complex landscape of recovery. By addressing the root causes of trauma and its associated symptoms, therapy offers individuals the opportunity to rebuild their lives on a foundation of resilience and emotional well-being.

 

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a widely recognized and effective therapeutic approach for trauma. By exploring the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, CBT empowers individuals to identify and challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns that perpetuate their trauma-related distress. Through this process, individuals can regain control over their emotions and reclaim their lives.

 

  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is a specialized therapy that targets traumatic memories and works to reprocess them, freeing the survivor from their lingering emotional impact. By utilizing bilateral stimulation techniques, such as eye movements or tactile taps, EMDR helps individuals process trauma in a way that reduces its intensity and disrupts its negative hold on their lives.

 

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT is particularly effective for individuals who have experienced trauma and struggle with emotional regulation and interpersonal difficulties. This therapy equips individuals with vital skills to cope with intense emotions, enhance mindfulness, and improve interpersonal relationships. Through DBT, trauma survivors can gradually regain control over their emotional responses and develop more fulfilling connections with others.

 

The Journey to Recovery

Starting therapy for trauma is an act of courage and self-care. Therapy is highly individualized, so finding the right therapist and modality is crucial to healing. Incorporating self-care practices, including exercise, meditation, and creative outlets, into the recovery process can serve as a valuable complement to therapy.

 

Conclusion

Trauma does not have to define a person’s life indefinitely. Therapy has emerged as a beacon of hope for trauma survivors, offering a path towards healing, growth, and liberation from the scars of the past. Whether through CBT, EMDR, DBT, or other therapeutic modalities, individuals can reclaim their lives and embrace a brighter future. Take the first step today and embark on a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation.

Remember, healing is possible.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Mental Health Text Support and Counseling Services

Mental Health Text Support and Counseling Services

 

If you are looking for convenient and efficient mental health tools, consider mental health text support. This form of therapy is becoming popular among people of all ages, and it’s proven successful in helping them solve different problems and improve various areas of their lives. 

 

Text Therapy

Text therapy, or texting a therapist, is a rapidly growing trend, particularly among those needing assistance. It’s a simple process: sessions are conducted through messaging platforms like emails, chat messages, online chat rooms, or audio messages sent from your computer or phone. For many, these text-based treatment services offer a more accessible and comfortable option.

It is a communication channel for progressing in weekly sessions gradually and at your speed, not a crisis text line for mental health emergencies. Depending on your chosen platform, you can use features like texting therapy between treatment sessions.

It allows scheduled doctor or psychologist appointments, but it is not live all the time, like Zoom. An increasing number of people are adopting text therapy to address various mental health concerns, ranging from eating disorders to anxiety, thanks to the growth of telehealth through online therapy providers and the majority of cell phone plans that enable unlimited messaging. Texting a therapist seems less exposed than interacting with them in person for many individuals.

 

Benefits of Mental Health Text Support

There are several benefits to text therapy. Each person’s assessment of the significance of these text therapy benefits will differ. 

It’s possible that someone has social anxiety and doesn’t want to discuss their problems over a meal with an unknown person. Some people might not have the time to fit in one additional visit a week due to their hectic work and personal schedules, or they could have young children at home whom they cannot leave alone because they cannot find a babysitter. 

It might feel like pressure when you are in front of a therapist for an in-person session, and you are aware that the timer is running out and that you only have 30 or 60 minutes available for a weekly live appointment. As a result, it might be very challenging to take in the knowledge and genuinely respond to the queries being asked of you. 

Some people are better at communicating in writing than they are in person. People process and react to information more effectively when they put their thoughts in writing and reflect on the therapist’s answers. It can facilitate introspection and help people see things that could have been handled differently when they reflect on their experiences and recollections. Also, you are always welcome to message your therapist. Even though they might not answer immediately, you can still record the words. 

When conversing via texting as opposed to face-to-face therapy or speaking in front of a support group, some people claim to feel less scrutinized. No matter what kind of treatment you receive, your therapist should never judge you. However, the patient may experience judgment since they deal with many challenging feelings, such as guilt and shame. 

 

How to Start with Text Support

Usually, the process starts with you responding to questions that enable the service to match you with a therapist who can provide the level of care you require. Depending on the service you use, you might not be able to choose your own therapist.

After you’ve found a therapist, you may begin exchanging texts outlining your goals for treatment. Most text therapy programs offer unlimited text messaging. Additionally, some provide voice and video chat, although these may come at a somewhat higher price.

At any point, you can text your therapist. You can generally anticipate a response within a day; however, they might not respond right away, particularly if you text them late at night or early in the morning.

Additionally, you can ask for a “live text” session, in which you and your therapist text back and forth in real-time. This enables you to discuss problems whenever they come to mind.

Text therapy provides anonymity, much like in-person therapy.

The app could gather data, so be sure to read the terms of service and privacy regulations. However, your conversation with your therapist is private and will not divulge any personal information.

 

Cost of Mental Health Text Support

One of the reasons why many people choose text therapy over other types is that it’s more affordable. Depending on the platform you choose and the other services you utilize, text therapy might cost different amounts. However, the cost is typically lower than it would be for in-person counseling.

For instance, BetterHelp charges between $60 and $90 a week. Depending on the package you select, Talkspace might cost anywhere from $70 to $110 each week. Some places, like our group, charge based on which therapist and how many minutes. 

 

In Final Words

Getting the right kind of help is crucial if you’re struggling. Numerous people benefit from text therapy, and it could also be beneficial to you. However, you might not see much of a shift if you have trouble connecting with your therapist. It could be time to look into alternative strategies, including video counseling or in-person therapy, if you are not seeing any progress with text therapy. 

Keep in mind that every person is different and what works for your friend might not work for you. That is why it’s important to keep in mind that you can always try different types of therapy and switch to a more convenient one for you if the chosen one doesn’t work. Schedule a text session with one of our staff members today. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Examples of Boundaries in Romantic Relationships!

Examples of Boundaries in Romantic Relationships!

 

Discover the importance of setting healthy boundaries in romantic relationships.

Learn practical tips and insights to enhance communication, respect, and mutual understanding with your partner.

Watch now to build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship!

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

 

Does Sex Get Better With Age?

Does Sex Get Better With Age?

 

You’ve probably asked yourself more than once, ‘Does Sex Get Better With Age?’ and being curious about it is more common than you’d think. As much as we’re sexual beings, we’re also aware that humans change over the years. Our health condition is not the same at 50 as in our 20s. We have less energy as we age, and our sexual drive could be even lower with age. 

Still, all of this can be improved. You can improve your energy levels, become healthier, and feel better about yourself. So, the answer to that question will be unique for each person. However, if sex is the area in your life you wish to improve, we’re happy to share with you that sex can get better with age!

 

Factors that Impact Sex Drive

The first thing you need to understand is what impacts your desire to have sex and the quality of sex. How you feel about sex can change in a relationship or marriage. Most couples tend to have a lot of sex at the beginning of their relationship, and as time goes by, they start feeling tired or stressed about having sex with their partner. 

These are the most common factors that impact libido in most people:

  • Lower estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone
  • Prescription medications
  • Higher stress levels
  • Low self-esteem or body image issues
  • Drugs, smoking, or alcohol 
  • Diabetes 
  • High blood pressure  

Don’t forget that poor sexual desire may be a sign of mental or physical health problems. It may also lower your quality of life and lead to relationship issues.

 

Sexual Prime or the Golden Age for Sex

The term “sexual prime,” used to describe a young person, is not new. Sex is still fun as we age, contrary to popular belief. A lot of people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s+ are having fulfilling sexual relationships that enhance their general happiness and well-being.

There is a simple explanation for that! Our sense of power, assertiveness, confidence, and body image change as we age. These elements greatly improve our closeness, connection, and enjoyment of experiences.

Overall enjoyment and the quality of sex increase with age, even though the frequency of sexual activity may naturally decline. Therefore, the quality of the relationship you build with your partner is more important than the frequency of your intercourse or the number of orgasms you have. Another thing you’ll need to be aware of is that you and your spouse must accept that your bodies are changing with age and that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

 

How to Enjoy Sex More

If you’re determined to enjoy sex more, go for it! After all, you’ve probably had a certain amount of sexual experiences, which can help you choose your preferred sex style, positions, or anything else you’d like to try with your partner. Below, you can find suggestions that are worth exploring with your sexual partner to ensure you both enjoy sex more.

 

1.Take it Slow

Giving yourself and your partner some extra time for sex is crucial. Our sexual response cycle, or the interval between being aroused and engaging in sexual action, slows down as we get older. Women, in particular, could need extra time and attention to get to the point where their bodies are completely relaxed and aroused. A good piece of advice is to delay sexual activity until the morning or afternoon if you or your partner have medical issues with symptoms that intensify at night.

 

2. Use What You Have

The good news is that if you dislike sex toys, you can utilize nearly anything that is on your bed. For instance, using a pillow or a blanket can provide more comfort and create a new angle for the penetrating partner. You can use certain clothing items, such as ties, to tie your partner up or cover their eyes. If your partner loves sexy lingerie, why not surprise him one night? Or, you can even go shopping together and choose something that you both like. 

 

3. Seek New Ways to Connect

Intimacy and sex should be redefined, and partners need to be flexible with this and not make a big deal about the things that might not work immediately. Some things take more time than others. Approach this as an experiment for both of you! Try new things and adapt to them as you go. 

 

4. Have a Positive Mindset

Who said that the best era of your sexual life had ended? The best sex is yet to come! 

Don’t forget that, as we age, we occasionally start to feel a little more confident in ourselves. A healthier sexual life is also facilitated by people’s tendency to lose interest in some of those less significant things as they get older. That leaves enough room and energy to focus on the real connection between the two partners and enjoy your entire relationship, including sex!

 

Conclusion

Yes, sex can get better with age! There is no doubt about it. If there is something preventing you from enjoying sex at any age, the best thing you can do is talk to your partner and to your doctor if you’re suspecting health issues. On the other hand, besides eliminating the obstacles, do your best to connect with your partner. Talk more about the things you need in a relationship and in bed. Also, don’t take sex too seriously. Some things you try with your partner will not produce the satisfaction you were expecting, and that’s totally okay. 

Sex is about exploring your own sexuality and learning more about your partner’s. Forget about the age and make the most of the sexual experiences you have! Sometimes, you just need to relax and be curious about the intimacy you and your partner are building together, whether it’s through sex, hugging, or a conversation. Anything that brings you closer together will bring you more satisfaction in bed as well. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

Can a 70-Year-Old Woman Be Sexually Active?

 

If you’re in your 70s or are simply wondering, ‘Can a 70-year-old woman be sexually active?’, we have an answer to your question. However, it’s important to keep in mind that sexual activity depends on several factors, such as an overall health condition, libido, and any other challenges or obstacles that can prevent a woman of that age from having sex – and enjoying it!

That being said, it’s completely normal for people in their 70s to be sexually active! If you’re in love with your partner and both want to be intimate physically as well, age shouldn’t be a factor. In this article, we’ll look at all the important details you need to know about sex life for those in their 70s!

 

Sex In Your 70s

Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Although physical changes and health issues may influence an older adult’s sexual performance, several techniques can support people in maintaining a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual life. Intimacy and sexual engagement are vital throughout life. Many elderly women in their 70s and 80s still engage in sexual activity.

Changes brought on by aging may impact a person’s sexual life. A person’s sexual life might be impacted by health issues and shifting hormone levels, yet there are things people can do to maintain their sexual fulfillment as they age.

Age does not have to be a factor in sexual limitations. Because they have fewer obligations and are less likely to become pregnant unintentionally, older adults may feel more liberated than they did when they were younger.

 

How Aging Impacts Sex

Changes brought on by aging can have an impact on sexuality. As people age, their sexual organs alter. The vagina may narrow and become less lubricated in females. Menopause may also have an impact on sexual desire. Male erectile dysfunction may become increasingly prevalent.

Individuals may also discover that weight or muscle mass changes impact how they feel about their bodies. Illness, medication, or surgery can all have an impact on the desire and intimacy for sexual activity. Still, not everyone has these issues, and for those that do, many solutions are available.

 

Physical Changes

The vagina might get shorter and narrower as women age, and the vaginal wall can get thinner and stiffer. Less lubrication of the vagina may also occur. This might make vaginal penetration uncomfortable or lessen a person’s desire to have specific types of sexual relations. Luckily, lubricants exist, so they can be used to overcome this problem.

 

Hormonal Changes

Because menopause induces hormonal changes, going through menopause might have an impact on a person’s sexual life. While some menopausal individuals might not see any changes in their sexual lives, others could experience some of the symptoms below:

  • Getting drier and thinner in the vagina might make intercourse painful
  • Decreased desire or libido, trouble becoming aroused
  • Sleep disruptions that might make people feel more exhausted than normal
  • Mood changes that could affect a person’s desire or sex drive

Hormone replacement therapy is a prescription that a doctor might give to help with menopausal symptoms, which could be painful or impact sexual life.

 

Mental Changes

According to numerous studies, the most common reasons why older women avoid having sex are:

  • How satisfied you are with your relationship?
  • How intimate you are with your partner
  • How is your overall health?

Keep in mind that relationship factors are equally important as health-related factors for a woman in her 70s to be sexually active. For instance, if she is feeling anxious or is experiencing symptoms of depression, it will surely impact her ability and will to be intimate and have sex with her partner. 

 

How to Have an Active and Healthy Sex Life in Your 70s

If you have an open mind and a determined spirit, there’s a lot you can do between the sheets that can be really fulfilling. Saying you’re fatigued, that you have a headache, or that something aches is simple. Finding methods to please your loved one and have a quality of sex that may still make you feel turned on and happy with your relationship requires time, patience, and a strong desire. Everything depends on each partner’s mindset.

 

Invest in Your Relationship

The quality of the connection is a determining factor in the enjoyment of sex. A relationship is as wonderful as its sex. Their sexual life will be a reflection of the strength of their relationship if they are able to be candid, open, and accept responsibility for their flaws, errors, and inappropriate actions. Sex will suffer from the contaminated space and it will not be good if the lovers’ relationship space has been contaminated over time. Relationships require care just as much as a house, automobile, children, pets, and plants do. Sex will suffer if the relationship has been neglected for whatever reason. If there isn’t any love in the relationship, you can’t expect your spouse to be loving. 

 

Talk, Talk, Talk, and Talk More.

Good communication is necessary to help those with sexual dysfunction. Sadly, couples often choose to keep their emotions to themselves so as not to let their spouse down; as a result, excuses are created rather than the problems being addressed. Insecurities, shame, and guilt prevent people from solving their sexual difficulties. A couple will never have a resolution if they never discuss their feelings. It is not the solution to sidestep the problem and blame a headache or tiredness. 

 

Be Present

Regarding communication, listening and practicing presence are your greatest friends. The majority of couples are awkward with one another. One may stand in your way, yelling, passing judgment, condemning, or blocking your path, while the other could back off and become silent. When conversing, being present entails meeting each other’s eyes. 

Being present and getting to know their spouse’s language and cultural background means showing respect and having an open heart to truly grasp what their partner is saying without interjecting.

As long as you’re taking care of your health the best you can and feel connected to your partner, you’ve got the green light to make the most of your sexual life!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How To Increase Sex Drive During Menopause: Expert Tips!

How To Increase Sex Drive During Menopause: Expert Tips!

 

Discover expert advice on how to increase sex drive during menopause.

Learn effective tips and tricks to reignite your passion and intimacy.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Help with Menopause Crazy Behavior

Help with Menopause Crazy Behavior

 

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably heard someone talking about menopause crazy behavior, and if you’re in your 30s or 40s, you might feel confused about its meaning. We wanted to do some more research on how menopause affects women before deciding what is crazy and what isn’t. 

There is little discussion of menopause, which is unavoidable for aging cis women. Even if you ask young women, most of them will not know what to expect when that time comes. Read on if you are a woman curious about menopause or has just entered it and wants to know if your symptoms are common.

What Is Menopause? 

A woman enters menopause twelve months following her last menstrual cycle. The menopausal transition, also known as perimenopause, is the period before that happens when women may have hot flashes, irregular monthly cycles, or other symptoms.

The onset of menopause typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. This period of time can range from 7-14 years. The length of time may vary depending on lifestyle choices, including smoking, age at onset, and race/ethnicity. The ovaries produce the hormones progesterone and estrogen, which the body produces in varying amounts during perimenopause.

Every woman experiences the menopausal transition differently and in different ways. Women may acquire weight more quickly, and their bodies use energy differently and in various ways in fat cells. Your physical function, body composition, and structure, as well as your heart or bones, may all alter.

Stages of Menopause

Menopause is the natural end to menstruation. There are three stages of menopause that you’ll need to be aware of to be able to tell them apart.

Perimenopause

Your ovaries progressively start to generate less estrogen eight to ten years before menopause, which is when perimenopause starts. It generally begins in your 40s. The final year or two of perimenopause is when estrogen begins to decline. Many women may be experiencing menopausal symptoms at this point. However, you can still become pregnant during this period and still have menstrual cycles.

Menopause

When you reach menopause, your menstrual cycles stop. Your ovaries have finished generating the majority of their estrogen and are no longer releasing eggs at this point. When you have missed your monthly cycle for 12 months in a row, a medical professional will diagnose you with menopause.

Postmenopause

This is the term used to describe the period following a year without a period. Menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes, may improve during this phase. Nonetheless, a decade or more after the menopause transition, some women still have menopausal symptoms. People in the postmenopausal period are more susceptible to several health issues, including osteoporosis and heart disease, due to a decreased level of estrogen in their bodies.

Menopause Symptoms

If you start to have some or all of the following symptoms, you could be entering menopause:

  • Hot flashes (a sudden sense of warmth that spreads across your body)
  • Chills and/or flashes of cold
  • Dryness of the vaginal walls 
  • Pain during intercourse
  • Urinary urgency
  • Sleep problems
  • Emotional changes 
  • Chapped lips, eyes, or skin
  • Soreness in the breasts
  • Abnormally heavy, light, or irregular periods

Some women might also experience:

  • Heart palpitations
  • Headaches
  • Pain in the muscles and joints
  • Sex desire changes
  • Concentration issues
  • Memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Thinning or loss of hair

Changes in your hormone levels bring on these symptoms. While some people experience minor menopausal symptoms, others may experience severe symptoms. Not every person going through menopause will experience the same symptoms. 

Contact a healthcare provider that specializes in menopause. There are different boards depending on what country you live in. If you are in the United States, check them out. 

Why Do I Feel Like This? 

In menopause and perimenopause, varying emotions are common. Changing progesterone and estrogen levels cause many changes in your life like mood swings, insomnia, and hot flashes.

Your ability to sleep may suffer, libido problems may negatively impact your sexual life, and vaginal dryness may make things seem unpleasant. You could think you’re insane because of all these changes, yet we’re here to reassure you that you’re not. Hormonal changes happen! You don’t have to suffer and you can reach out to a longevity specialist. 

Hormone fluctuations occur throughout perimenopause and diminish during menopause, which can lead to abrupt and inexplicable mood swings or seemingly insane behavior. You could think you’re going crazy if you experience increased levels of impatience, anxiety, or melancholy, yet there’s no reason to freak out.

Menopause is a natural aspect of aging for all women, and it brings with it a host of mental and emotional changes that can cause disruptions to day-to-day activities. You should be aware that you are not experiencing menopausal symptoms alone, since around 75% of women encounter emotional issues during this time.

The Bottom Line

Your progesterone and estrogen levels vary during perimenopause and drop sharply during menopause. Due to low hormone levels affecting mood-regulating neurotransmitters, mood swings are common.

Hot flashes, which exacerbate tiredness and irritation and make it hard to fall asleep, are another effect of a fall in estrogen. Without enough sleep, as we all know, everything feels worse, and our emotional stamina is at its lowest.

While most women do not experience severe depression or anxiety after menopause, it is normal for them to have modest mood changes, irritability, and a lack of energy. Additionally, women who have had anxiety or depression in the past are more likely to encounter severe emotional symptoms throughout menopause.

If you’re struggling with your menopause symptoms or have any questions related to them, reach out to your doctor. If you’re noticing mood swings and are not able to function due to emotional bursts, you should consider reaching out to a therapist, as there might be other issues you need to address and work on. 

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do