What Is True Love In A Relationship?

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What Is True Love In A Relationship?

 

Numerous songs, poems, and books were written in an attempt to respond to the question: What is true love in a relationship? We all think we know love, yet recognizing it may not be as easy as it seems. We love different people in different ways. We also build romantic relationships differently from our friends or family members. Is it possible, then, to answer the question of what true love in a relationship is? 

The short answer is yes. True love is based on certain pillars, and without them, the relationship wouldn’t be considered healthy. If you want to understand what it means to be in a healthy, loving relationship, we’ve explained it in detail below. 

 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Before we talk about what true love is, let’s compare healthy and unhealthy relationships first. Toxic relationships are those in which one or both partners act or speak harmfully to each other. For instance, signs of a toxic relationship would include going through your partner’s phone or insulting them during a discussion. 

That said, keep in mind that healthy relationships are not perfect either. It doesn’t mean that partners will never yell at each other or do something they’ll regret later. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is the way you and your partner deal with such situations. Do you learn from them? Do you ask for forgiveness? Do you do your best not to repeat that same mistake?

Partners in unhealthy relationships are not interested in growing together. Due to their treatment of each other, everything stays the same — or worse. They don’t work on improving destructive areas of their relationship. Instead, they blame each other. They blame each other for feeling a certain way or doing a certain thing. In a healthy relationship, the partners work together as a team. In an unhealthy relationship, partners will see each other as opponents.

 

Foundations of Healthy Relationships

It might be simple for you to understand what toxic relationships are. After all, there is so much online content about red flags in dating and relationships that it’s easy to compare that list against your relationship. Some signs might be obvious, while others might not be so obvious.

On the other hand, defining a healthy, loving relationship is a bit trickier. Just because a relationship is not toxic doesn’t make it true love. In other words, there are certain things such relationships need to have in common. Without it, the relationship will either not last long, or it won’t reach a deeper level of intimacy, which is the main requirement for true love. 

 

Accountability 

As much as accountability doesn’t sound romantic, it is one of the main foundations of true love. In this context, responsibilities go much further than creating separate to-do lists and being in charge of certain activities in a relationship.  Accountability refers to being responsible for your actions, words, and emotions. 

If both partners are accountable for themselves, it becomes easier to celebrate wins and face challenges together. In an unhealthy relationship, one partner will blame the other or have expectations that the other can’t meet. When both partners become responsible for themselves, they are able to grow together without being each other’s obstacle. 

 

Freedom 

Freedom might be another word you don’t understand when talking about true love. The best way to describe freedom is to give yourself and your partner the space and time needed to be your authentic selves. As long as you can express, do, and feel whatever you want, so should your partner. 

By saying that, keep in mind that your freedom shouldn’t harm the other person. Freedom allows you to explore a range of possibilities and choose the one that seems best for you. When we are free and happy, we make others happy, including our loved ones. 

 

Respect 

Every relationship should be based on respect. Respecting yourself and your partner is essential for your relationship to work. Where there is a lack of respect, true love will also be absent. You cannot love somebody and not have respect for them. Respect implies that you will treat the other person with politeness. In relationships, respect also implies your admiration for the other person.

When we don’t feel respected, it’s difficult to give our best to someone else. We start to isolate ourselves from those who don’t respect us. We put energy into protecting ourselves from them. Instead of becoming closer, the lack of respect distances people from each other. 

 

Common Objective

A healthy, loving relationship is like a team. Two players work together toward a common goal. Relationship goals don’t have to be material or physical, although most couples will have such aspirations for their future. Examples might be buying their first home together, getting married, or getting pregnant. 

Your common objective can be to learn about each other’s love language to support each other better. Or, you might want to address a certain issue that’s been present in your relationship for a while, so you seek a couples therapist. As a couple, you can have as many objectives as you want, both big and small. Being aware of your motivation to pursue that goal and being on the same page are crucial. 

 

Conclusion

Love is what makes relationships stable, long-lasting, and thriving. Loving someone and receiving love from that person not only helps you grow your relationship. You also grow as a person. Healthy relationships allow us to feel safe, regardless of what life throws at us. 

If you’re currently in a relationship and experiencing difficulties, keep in mind the foundation we previously discussed. Accountability, freedom, respect, and having common objectives can help you build a stronger, more profound relationship. If you feel like you need guidance, reach out to a couples therapist. Investing time and energy in your relationship is the best investment you can make for yourself, too. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Couples Therapy TV Celebrities: Providing Discreet Guidance

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Couples Therapy TV Celebrities: Providing Discreet Guidance

 

When I was at the beginning of my education and training path toward a career as a therapist, I never thought about providing couples therapy TV celebrities. It’s one of those things that just naturally happened. I still remember when I received my first call from a famous person asking me to become their relationship therapist. As much as many professionals would say that it doesn’t matter whether a client is a celebrity, I believe there are a few differences. 

By working with celebrities over the past years, I noticed they need certain prerequisites to continue seeing their chosen therapist. After all, therapy doesn’t work like a bandage. It’s a process that requires time and effort from all sides involved. When talking about couples therapy for celebrities, the distinction is even more evident. 

For example, if you and your spouse are not in the public eye, you will not be worried about someone taking a photograph of you while leaving the therapist’s office. This aspect is just one of the things both a famous person and a therapist should keep in mind. As someone fairly experienced in providing couples therapy for TV celebrities, I’d like to explain the differences and help you understand the therapy process for famous people. 

 

Regular Couples Therapy vs. Couples Therapy for Celebrities

I’ve mentioned the first example of discretion above. However, there are a few more differences between regular and famous couples going to a therapist. Many famous people communicate with their therapist via video call to avoid exposure. This allows both partners to participate from any location without the risk of press leaks.

 

Privacy & Confidentiality

Just think about the headlines once a journalist receives the information that a famous Hollywood marriage is seeing a couples therapist. Millions of spectators would be entertained by assumptions of divorce, infidelity, and the search for the family’s hidden secrets. On the other hand, a couple whose careers are not that public will not have an issue walking to the therapist’s office or even sharing that information with their circle of intimate friends. 

Confidentiality is a must for a celebrity couple therapist. I always warn my celebrity clients of the risk, even if they share that info. If they still want to share it for whatever reason, I advise them to do so after there is no more need for therapy or after they’ve built a solid strategy on how to communicate that information to the media. 

Of course, some couples will want to share their experience while going to therapy. Darcey and Georgi visited my office during their show on TLC. Make sure this decision is communicated with your romantic partner and your manager to avoid any unwanted consequences. Discretion is the most important part of my work with celebrities.

 

External Pressure

Although celebrity couples reach out to therapists to work on their relationship, it’s not the only area of their lives we have to focus on. Celebrities face external pressure around their public image and professional careers. Even in cases where both sides agree that divorce might be the best solution, this decision can be postponed due to external pressure. 

Examples can be a movie or album promotion, a recent private or professional scandal, or a big business deal in the near future. All of these external pressures can affect therapy and the decision-making process. Not being able to close a multi-million dollar deal because of divorce news could lead to lower life standards for everyone involved, including children. 

 

Unique Stressors

As a celebrity couples therapist, it’s difficult to truly provide guidance if not aware of the uniqueness of the celebrity lifestyle. How do they deal with fame? How important is their privacy to them? Do they spend a lot of time apart due to work commitments? How important is public perception of their relationship to them? 

If you’re not a famous person, someone who never met you personally will not be aware of your existence and your relationship. With social media, everyone can publicly share their opinion about someone’s relationship, marriage, or family. Dealing with all these stressors is not easy. After all, fame doesn’t make you immune to critics. 

 

Professional Barrier

Most celebrities received some type of media training, so they might be reluctant to be authentic in the first few therapy sessions. I’ve noticed such behavior with every one of my celebrity clients, and I completely understand why. Although they hired me, I’m someone they don’t know, and I ask all kinds of personal questions. Of course, they will not jump into their vulnerability from the first second. 

It is my job to show them that I can provide them with a safe, non-judgmental space. I often acknowledge the importance of confidentiality in my first session to show them how it’s perfectly expected for them to be a bit reserved towards me at first. That is why it’s one of my proudest moments when I see this type of client opening up to me, and we’re able to dive deeper to help them heal together as couples. 

 

Are You Looking for a Celebrity Couples Therapist? 

 If you and your partner have never been in couples therapy, it’s important to find a professional with experience in this area. As much as your goal might be the same as that of a regular couple, having a therapist who understands the celebrity lifestyle can be quite helpful. 

A therapist without experience in therapy for famous people will need to learn what it means to be a celebrity from your perspective. We all know what the word celebrity means, yet can we imagine how it feels to be one? A therapist with this experience knows the pros and cons of public life. 

My final piece of advice is to trust your instincts when selecting a therapist. If it seems natural and easy when talking to them, they are probably a good choice for you. Take it slow and share as much as you feel comfortable at the beginning. You don’t have to rush to find the solution. Therapy should provide you with long-lasting guidance and support, so make sure you choose the right therapist. 

Make an appointment today. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Is He Cheating + What To Do About It

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Is He Cheating + What To Do About It

 

Relationships are filled with a range of emotions and concerns, and one of the most common ones you’ll hear is, ‘Is he cheating?’ It could be a new relationship or a long-term one, but something is suspicious.

Sometimes, we think of infidelity due to our insecurities or past traumas, and sometimes, it’s because our partner is acting weird. Whatever it is, feeling like this is not pleasant. You could start doubting everything your partner does and says. You might feel the urge to check their messages or to follow them. Before you realize it, you’ll find yourself engrossed in this discovery and questioning how you got here in the first place.

So, we will look at the most typical indications of cheating along with suggestions for what to do in this situation. Keep in mind that every relationship is unique. Just because your partner is behaving in a certain way doesn’t automatically mean that they are cheating on you. 

 

Signs of Cheating

If you’ve never cheated or been cheated on, you probably know someone who did. As much as we’d like to be safe and loved in all of our relationships, the other side of intimacy is vulnerability. In other words, we can’t control other people’s behavior. Instead of wasting your energy on controlling your partner, take a moment to analyze how they act. It won’t prove they’re cheating, yet it will reveal their feelings about your relationship.

 

Lack of Time

You used to spend a lot of time together, whether it was traveling, going to restaurants, or cuddling at home in front of the TV. Something has changed, although you’re not really sure why. You’ve suggested various plans for the weekend, yet they always have the perfect excuse. 

 

Change of Priorities

Maybe you’ve been considering buying a home together or going on a long vacation to a foreign country, yet they don’t seem interested anymore. They even have a reason for it. They would rather not move because they just realized they prefer living in the center or they don’t need this vacation anymore. If their explanation doesn’t make sense or you see it’s not true, the true reason could be something they don’t want you to know about. 

 

Changes in How They Look

When we fall in love with someone, we want to impress that person. This is what you did when you fell in love with them as well. Going to the gym, buying a new perfume, or investing in their clothes could all be signs of a significant change in their life. However, make sure to double-check that their motivation is not caused by the simple desire to become the best version of themselves. 

 

Behavioral Changes

There are several changes you can notice in somebody’s behavior if they are cheating. They might start to hide their phone or leave it face down. They might show new social media behaviors such as being active online at late-night hours or downloading an app he was never interested in before. 

Furthermore, some men will start accusing their partners of cheating when they are the ones cheating. This is due to feeling guilty and wanting to distract you from finding what’s really going on. 

When it comes to behavioral changes, just think of how he was behaving before and how he is behaving now. If you notice major changes and can’t find a different explanation than cheating, you could be right. 

 

What to Do About It

Believing you’re cheated on can lead to feeling many emotions. The most common are fear, sadness, and anger. Before you decide to act on it, make sure you take care of yourself first. Whatever the outcome might be, you should prioritize your well-being over anything else. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether that’s talking to a therapist or your close friends. 

 

1.Listen to His Version 

Give him the opportunity to share his story, even if he meets all the requirements. Starting an argument and threatening to leave can become a big wound in your relationship, especially if you realize he wasn’t cheating at all. Do your best to start the conversation respectfully. You already know your version and what you want to say, so allow him to share his side. 

 

2.Address How You Feel

When they finish their conversation, or if they choose not to discuss this topic at all, it’s appropriate to express your feelings. If you believe that someone has betrayed you, you have the right to confront them. Tell them what this experience has been like for you. Remember, you’re not doing this to make them feel bad; you’re doing it to stand up for yourself. If you’re not going to be your advocate, who will?

 

3.Suggest Ways to Deal with This Situation

Suggestions on how to deal with this situation will greatly depend on whether he cheated or not. It’s not about solving the problem; it’s about agreeing on the next steps and conserving your energy. For instance, you might decide to spend some time apart or to sleep in separate bedrooms. You could decide to seek relationship counseling and get professional support during these difficult times. You could even discuss long-term expectations to remind each other what the end goal of the path you’re deciding to take is. 

 

4.Begin the Healing Process

Alone or with him, you will need to start to heal. Infidelity or doubts of infidelity can trigger so many things inside you, and you will need time and space to express that. Talk to a therapist, write a journal, or spend more time with your close friends. Prioritizing yourself is essential to healing. You might feel tempted to focus on him and your relationship, yet you’re the one who needs that level of care and support. 

Even in situations in which the partner was actually not unfaithful, you were still afraid and angry. You still believed you’d lose your relationship. That part of you deserves to be taken care of. In fact, ensuring you’re both taking care of your needs first will help you see with more clarity what steps make the most sense for you in the future. 

 

Begin the journey to help now with one of our staff members. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear

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How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear: A Confidence Guide for Men

 

If you’re not certain about how to talk to ladies without fear, you will want to read this article. After all, you’re not the first guy who struggles to find the best approach to new women you meet in your life. Communication with the opposite sex is difficult, but knowing how to handle the challenges will make you successful. 

The good thing about confidence is that if you don’t have it, you can build it. There are certain techniques that can help you improve your communication with women without it sounding weird or forced. In this article, we’ve decided to share the best tips for single guys looking to make new connections with women they find attractive. Before we delve into the topic, we’ve compiled a list of warning signs that most women will quickly identify.

 

Red Flags When Talking to Ladies

Approaching someone you don’t know and hoping they are interested requires courage. However, some guys might try too hard to impress or act too cool, and both of these decisions will most likely result in a lack of success. 

One of the most significant warning signs that women identify when encountering new men is their tendency to approach multiple girls until one eventually agrees to converse, dance, go home, or engage in similar activities. Trying to have more options when dating could lead to a negative outcome, especially if other women are aware of it. Instead, look for one person who seems attractive or intriguing to you.

When you finally approach her, avoid using phrases other men, including you, typically use. Don’t be cheesy or rude. Notice something that makes her different from all the other women in that place and let her know you’ve noticed it. A comment like ‘I’ve noticed you’re the only person in this bar drinking water’ will probably be better accepted than ‘You look so hot in that dress.’

As much as we all want to make a fantastic first impression, your focus should be on her and not on you. All you have to be is yourself. While you’re talking, ask her about the things you are genuinely interested in. Answer her questions the same way you would if your friend were asking them. Being natural in a situation like this can go a long way. 

Useful Tips 

Now that we’ve covered what most women don’t like, it’s important to talk about how to actually improve the way you approach and talk to ladies. Knowing what to avoid doing or saying is only the first step. See a professional like Dr. Amanda if you are looking for dating results.

 

What’s Appropriate?

Approaching someone in a supermarket is very different from approaching someone in a club. Let’s say you’ve seen a woman you like in a supermarket while buying groceries. You will probably not go to her shopping cart and start talking to her about her interests. 

This type of environment requires a more laid-back comment, which hopefully could lead to a conversation. There, it would make more sense to ask for a product recommendation or to give one. Always think about what is appropriate in a situation where you see a woman you like. Not doing that could make her feel uncomfortable even if she liked you.

 

Talk to Your Female Friends or Family Members

If you think that you need help understanding women, that’s completely okay. Consider talking to your female friends, sister, cousin, or whoever you could trust. Ask them what they like about the men they’ve dated and what they want in a partner. 

This information can help you understand what other ladies find relevant when they approach you. You could learn which compliments make sense and which to avoid. You could also learn what nonverbal gestures women prefer. For instance, you could open the door for her if you’re leaving the place together, offer her your jacket if she’s cold, respect her space, and so on. These small gestures have a significant impact when interacting with a new individual. While some women may view these gestures as outdated, others may perceive them as a sign that you value her or find her significant. 

 

Don’t Set Expectations

The men who are most successful in dating are the ones who don’t get discouraged. It’s completely normal to get rejected. The funny thing about it is that it’s really not that personal. It’s possible that the woman you’ve approached is rushing or transitioning out of an emotionally taxing relationship. There are so many reasons why a person could not be interested in talking to someone they don’t know. 

When you decide to approach someone, don’t set expectations. Celebrate yourself for being brave enough to approach someone and start a conversation with them. All of these experiences will be helpful when the right woman comes along.

 

Build Your Self-Esteem

The way we feel about ourselves affects how we introduce ourselves to the world. Are you taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally? The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to make a connection with someone else. Just think about it! How many times did you feel excellent about yourself and then a random stranger treated you nicely, or maybe you’ve experienced something that made your day even better? 

When it comes to building your self-esteem, look at the things you can improve. Maybe you can enter a room with your head high instead of looking at the floor. You can also start exercising more regularly to feel positive about your body. Improve your eating and sleeping habits as well. Watch this if your body image won’t budge.

Think about getting a haircut before going out with friends if you want to feel more confident. Wear that shirt for which you receive compliments every time you put it on. Wear new black boots. You don’t have to try hard. Do only things that will make you feel good. What works for your single friends might not work for you. 

That is why it’s important to act as naturally as possible when interacting with a woman you’ve never met before. Being yourself can help you find the love of your life. 

If you are ready to start now, schedule an appointment with Dr. Amanda.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is the Meaning of Divorce

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What Is the Meaning of Divorce + What to Expect

 

Married or not, you’ve probably wondered one or more times about the meaning of divorce. How do you know when you should consider ending your marriage? What should you do if you’ve decided to divorce your spouse? If you ever find yourself in this situation, these and many other questions might be on your mind.

However, before you even step into the commitment of marriage, it would be worth learning more about divorce. Understanding why some couples divorce can highlight areas to focus on for a lasting marriage.

 

Common Reasons for Divorce

Of course, each marriage is unique, and it can end for a unique reason. However, there are certain reasons that marital counselors and divorce lawyers always refer to when talking about most of their clients. Most people think infidelity is the main cause of divorce, but other things can hurt your marriage and end it. 

 

Lack of Communication

All issues begin in marriage when a lack of communication occurs. Regardless of the reason for that lack of communication, you seem to focus on one thing and your spouse on another. You will potentially start making up a story on how they feel and what they need. Successful married couples often agree that communication and effort are key to lasting relationships.

 

Financial Issues

Financial issues are linked to stress and a range of negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, guilt, frustration, and jealousy. Having financial issues in marriage can lead to blame instead of teamwork in finding solutions. As fear overcomes them, they may see each other as enemies and seek divorce. 

 

Infidelity 

Cheating is one of the most profound wounds of marriage, and it’s not just because there is another person involved in your intimate relationship. If you’ve been cheated on, you will probably have a difficult time trusting your partner, even with little things. Furthermore, it might lead to self-esteem issues and questioning whether or not you are attractive or intriguing enough for your spouse. The best way to get rid of all these doubts is by communicating them with your partner and learning the real reason why they cheated. In a complex situation like this one, it’s also important to discuss your mutual needs for security, love, and understanding. 

 

Growing Apart

When you marry, you hope that you and your partner will eternally be in love and grow old together. However, sometimes couples grow apart, and there is nothing you can do to force yourself to fall in love with your partner again. You may have had different experiences or learned different things from the same ones, making you incompatible. For instance, your partner might have stayed exactly the same person they were ten years ago, while you have changed and need different things or a deeper level of intimacy they cannot provide you with. 

 

Before the Divorce 

Deciding to divorce your spouse should not be a quick decision. If this is the first argument you had as a married couple, don’t even think about divorce unless the damage is unrepairable. Marriage consists of both good and bad moments. The key to a happy marriage is staying authentic and transparent through the tough times. 

Another piece of advice would be to talk to an expert on marital issues before you decide to divorce. Talking to a MFT (marriage and family therapist) can help you both listen to each other better and understand what is causing issues between you. As you share information about your marriage with a therapist, they will be able to provide you with a set of tools to strengthen the areas lacking. 

Even if you’re both certain that you want to end your marriage, having such guidance can help you make this process less painful and stressful. Given that divorce is one of the most stressful situations, any assistance will be greatly appreciated by both parties. 

 

Things to Avoid When Getting a Divorce

<p>Remember, a divorce is not something you can complete in a single day. It’s a process that often lasts longer than expected, and maybe you and your partner will need some time apart before you proceed with all of it. Whatever your situation might be, there are a few things that can make this process unnecessarily complicated or stressful.

Instead of telling everyone you’re divorcing and who your ex-spouse is, keep quiet. Remind yourself that this is an intimate moment. If you need to talk to someone, make sure it’s people you’re closest to and who have your best interest at heart. </span>

Secondly, instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong with your partner, focus on your needs. The split will not be an easy period for you, so ensuring you’re taking care of yourself is essential. You might need more time alone or want to journal your thoughts and emotions. Whatever it is, make sure you provide yourself with anything that will give you strength in these difficult moments. Focusing on yourself instead of your spouse can help you make the right decision at any moment and avoid getting hurt. If you need additional support, consider reaching out to a therapist to have space and time to focus on your well-being. They will also help you adjust to life without your spouse and all the changes after the divorce. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Are Words of Affirmation

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What Are Words of Affirmation & How to Use Them

 

Words of affirmation are one of the five main love languages. Besides words of affirmation, there is also physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. One person can prefer one way over another to express and receive love and appreciation, while another might prefer another love language. Love languages help us understand and support our loved ones in a more efficient way.

If you’re interested in learning words of affirmation as a love language, continue reading. We’ll explain this in detail and provide examples to help you give your loved ones inspiring words of love. 

 

Words of Affirmation as a Love Language

What does it mean if words of affirmation are your preferred love language? Firstly, it means that verbal communication is essential for you to feel positive about your relationship. While others might prefer their partners helping them out with a clean home or doing chores, you need to hear your partner expressing their love for you. In return, you probably also love telling them how much they mean to you. 

These words of affirmation bring you comfort and safety. You don’t expect them to hear you only when you’re feeling down or uncertain about your partner’s feelings for you. For you, words of affirmation help build a stronger relationship between you and the other person. It’s a way to be clear and straightforward about the importance they have in your life. Simply put, you celebrate love with words!

These words can be verbal encouragement, compliments, and affirmations. If you’re just discovering that this is your love language or your partner’s, take a look at our list of examples that can help you familiarize yourself with these phrases and use them in your daily life with your loved ones.

 

Examples of Words of Affirmation 

When talking about words of affirmation, the most common way to express appreciation is through giving compliments. However, you can also encourage them and show your love with words.

Below is the list of our favorite examples of words of affirmation:

  • You are incredibly attractive, both on the inside and outside.
  • You mean the world to me.
  • I love the way you make me laugh.
  • I appreciate everything you do for me.
  • You make my life so much better just by being in it.
  • I believe in you—you can do anything you set your mind to!
  • I’m so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished.
  • You inspire me every single day.
  • You’ve got this! I’m here to support you.
  • You are stronger than you think.
  • I love you more than words can express.
  • Being with you is my favorite part of every day.
  • You are my safe place, my home.
  • I feel so lucky to have you in my life.
  • I cherish every moment with you.
  • You are so special to me, and I never take you for granted.
  • You are enough, just as you are.
  • I admire your kindness and the way you care for others.
  • You make every day brighter with your presence.
  • The world is a better place because you’re in it.

 

How to Love Someone with Words of Affirmation 

Just because you know that your partner or a close friend prefers words of affirmation doesn’t mean that you’ll immediately be sure about the proper way to use them. When is the right time to say these loving phrases? How can you provide support and show appreciation if the person is not sitting next to you? 

Well, you can always send sweet text messages or voice notes. If your partner is having a busy day, seeing a loving, motivating message from you can help them get through it. Depending on both of your communication styles, these messages can be either short or long. You can send one of the phrases we’ve mentioned above in our list or use them as inspiration and write a longer message. Or you can even make these messages more personal by using nicknames, shared memories or dreams, or anything else that means a lot to you both. 

You can also leave little love notes on the mirror, nightstand, car, or on top of the phone. A message like ‘I love you’ can bring a smile to your partner’s face, especially if they aren’t expecting it.

When you’re complimenting them, make sure you do it genuinely. You don’t have to lie or exaggerate things. If you like their new haircut, the way that a particular shirt brings out their eyes, or how they look under the moonlight, tell them. Often in long-term relationships, couples tend to overlook compliments, thinking they’ve already expressed everything. However, hearing something positive about yourself can really boost your self-esteem and brighten up your day.  

Lastly, words of affirmation allow us to express gratitude. If your partner took care of you when you had a cold, what’s a better way to show gratitude than with words? Thanking them for being in your life shows that you recognize and appreciate their daily inspiration. 

 

Wrap Up 

Words have power, and this power can build intimate relationships that last. Making sure your partner knows how you feel about them eliminates uncertainty or confusion. When all is said, there’s no room for guessing. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day, to tell your significant other how you feel about them.

Say it today. If your partner doesn’t typically verbalize how they feel, your initiative can motivate them to do the same. Saying words of affirmation to each other every day brings you closer, reminds you of your best parts, and inspires you to grow together. Celebrating such moments through words is a wonderful way to make sure you remember them!

 

Start your journey at home with CONNECT. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Acts of Service Examples

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Acts of Service Examples You Can Start Doing Today

 

If your partner’s love language is the act of service or you simply are keen to learn more about it, you’ll want to go through the acts of service examples. Acts of service as a love language refer to doing certain activities that matter to the other person. An example can be running errands, buying them their favorite chocolate while they’re grocery shopping, or doing household chores. 

If you want to become more fluent in this love language, we’ve gathered everything you need to know about it. Get inspired by our acts of service examples and see which of them can be applied to your romantic relationships and friendships. 

 

What is an Act of Service?

Love language refers to the way we prefer to love and be loved. Besides an act of service, there is also gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you or your partner prefers the act of service as their dominant love language, you will want to familiarize yourself as much as possible with it. 

An act of service means you express your love or appreciation for another person through helpful actions instead of the other four love languages. Since this is your preferred language, you will appreciate it more if someone helps you thoughtfully rather than saying they love you or giving a hug. 

This is not to say you can only have one way you receive love. We can express love in different ways. However, one way will typically be dominant. In relationships with others, it’s important to be aware of our and their love language, as this allows us to grow and evolve together. 

 

Acts of Service List

Examples of acts of service can be quite different from person to person. For instance, you might enjoy it when your partner surprises you with a home-cooked meal after a long day at the office. Your friend, on the other hand, might prefer that their partner does all the chores if they have more spare time. 

These are some common examples of acts of service that can inspire you: 

  • Cook a meal for another person
  • Run errands for them 
  • Handle a task or chore you know they dislike
  • Surprise them with a clean home
  • Offer them a nice massage after a long day
  • Fix something you know they would use if it weren’t broken
  • Offer to drive them to work or somewhere else
  • Take care of them when they’re sick or tired
  • Offer to walk their dog for them 
  • Surprise them with a cup of coffee in the morning
  • Clean their car
  • Iron their clothes
  • Organize their closet
  • Prepare a nice bath for them
  • Pack them lunch on a busy day
  • Ask them how you can support them when they’re under stress

 

How to Give Acts of Service

If your partner’s love language is service, you understand that actions have a greater impact than words.  Below, you will find additional tips for performing acts of service. 

 

1.Express Gratitude for Support

Express gratitude to your spouse when they use your preferred language, and let them know you value it when they return the favor.  You will both feel appreciated in the relationship if you establish a pattern of showing each other love and gratitude. If acts of service are their preferred love language, enjoy the moments of their gratitude as well. Such moments can bring you closer. 

 

2.Ask About Their Preferred Acts of Service

Be specific.  Would they rather you just run that bath for them, or should you ask first?  Do they enjoy having you do the laundry yet, would rather handle the bill payment themselves?  Make sure your acts of service really serve your partner or friend. Occasionally, what we think would be best for others is not what they want at that moment.

 

3.Communication

Communication about what works for both of you is crucial in love languages.  It is important that you and your partner agree on the ways that you both like to show love.  Developing your communication skills in a partnership will come with numerous rewards.

 

4.Share What You Need

Both of you should practice asking for what you want. With time, the other person will learn which acts of service work best for you. For example, some people do not like it when you look through their drawers, while others want you to do their laundry and put it away for them. Remember that the goal is to show love and appreciation in the way your partner receives it, not to force yourself onto others.  

 

5.Don’t Compare

If your best friend and your boyfriend have a preference for acts of service, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will value the same actions. Every person is unique. Having an understanding of how to serve with love will be beneficial when meeting a new person with the same love language. However, listening carefully to them will show you what they really need from you. 

 

In Final Words

Acts of service are a wonderful way to show appreciation for other people in our lives, even if it’s not their dominant love language. If you notice your friend or family member stressed and without any spare time, offer your help. Maybe you can take their kids to school or take their clothes to the dry cleaner. Small acts like that can mean so much to someone who doesn’t have time or needs additional support in their life. 

By being supportive in that way, you not only show how much you care about this person. You help others who are in their inner circle. Being kind to each other benefits everyone around us. If you help your partner, their colleagues at work will notice they are much more relaxed. Your sister will have more time to spend with her spouse if you assist her with the children. 

If that’s the way you show love for others, you will want them to do the same for you. What’s a better way to receive it than give it to others first? 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

What Is Being Exclusive Meaning?

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What Is Being Exclusive Meaning?

 

What is being exclusive meaning while you are dating? 💕 If you’ve ever wondered when to have “the talk” or how to navigate the transition from casual dating to exclusivity, this video is for you! Knowing when to make things exclusive can be a crucial turning point in a relationship.

The shift from casually dating to an exclusive relationship is a big step, and understanding what exclusivity really means can help you make more informed decisions. It’s all about committing to one another and deepening the bond you share, free from other distractions.

Being exclusive means that both partners agree to focus on each other and stop dating others, establishing trust, intimacy, and commitment. It’s important to communicate openly and set clear boundaries to ensure both people are on the same page, avoiding misunderstandings.

Whether you’re new to dating or looking to define your current relationship, these tips will help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more dating advice and relationship tips!

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Toxic Relationship Examples

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3 Toxic Relationship Examples Every Man Should Know

 

In this post, I’ll break down three common toxic relationship examples that every man should be aware of. From controlling behaviors to emotional manipulation, these dynamics can have a lasting impact on your mental and emotional well-being if left unaddressed. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your confidence and creating healthier relationships.

Have you ever found yourself feeling drained, second-guessing your actions, or walking on eggshells in a relationship? If so, you’re not alone. Toxic relationship patterns can sneak up on anyone, leaving you confused, exhausted, and unsure of how to move forward.

But awareness is just the beginning. I’ll also share practical strategies for addressing these toxic behaviors, setting boundaries, and protecting your peace. Whether you’ve experienced these dynamics in the past or want to ensure they don’t take root in your current or future relationships, this guide is for you.

Remember, you deserve to feel respected, valued, and at ease in your relationships. Together, let’s build the skills to navigate challenges, foster mutual respect, and prioritize personal growth. Healthy, fulfilling relationships are possible—and it starts with recognizing what’s holding you back.

🔔 Tune in to learn how to take charge and build better connections!

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Characteristics of a Good Relationship

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Key Characteristics of a Good Relationship for Lasting Happiness

 

Do you know the characteristics of a good relationship? Healthy relationships require work and compromise from both partners and are built on a foundation of open communication, honesty, trust, and respect. There isn’t any power disparity. Partners may share decisions, accept each other’s independence, and make their own choices without worrying about reprisals or revenge. There is no stalking or unwillingness to let go of the other partner when a relationship ends.

That being said, how do you know whether you’re in a good relationship or not? If you feel as if your relationship needs more work, learn the areas that are crucial for your relationship or marriage to last for years. 

 

List of Characteristics of a Good Relationship 

The quality of your relationship may be improved in a number of ways, even if it lacks many of the characteristics covered in this article. One way to work together to solve problems, talk openly, and create new habits is through online therapy. An expert in relationships can help you understand the common issues that are obstacles to intimacy between you and your partner. 

 

Respect

Healthy relationships are characterized by mutual respect and profound concern for one another. Each person respects the boundaries of the others and values each other for who they are.

Ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Do my partner and I appreciate each other for who we are rather than what we want each other to be?
  • Do we honor and respect one another’s limits and boundaries?
  • When we disagree, do we still respect one another?

Your relationship might not be as healthy as it could be if you feel disrespected by your partner. Talking to each other and asking for help when necessary may strengthen this area of your relationship.

 

Intimacy

It’s crucial to remember that different people have different levels of attraction, so not everyone needs or wants physical intimacy. If both partners feel their needs are satisfied, relationships can still be strong without physical intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is the sense of connection and the capacity to share your deepest feelings and ideas with your spouse. In a good relationship, both parties feel safe and at ease discussing their feelings and opinions.

What are some ways to develop closeness if you feel like you’ve been drifting apart?

Although there may be times in long-term partnerships when partners don’t feel as close, a foundation of intimacy is necessary for a good partnership. Honest discussions and spending time together frequently provide the ideal atmosphere for increased emotional and physical connection.

 

Trust

A key component of wholesome partnerships is trust. You shouldn’t have to question your partner’s commitment or sincerity in a successful relationship, and vice versa. While they spend time together, healthy couples also have aspects of their lives that are distinct from one another. These frequently consist of friendships, interests, and employment. When people in a relationship have mutual trust, they are less likely to experience jealousy or mistrust when their partner is away from them.

Healthy couples can spend time together and apart without feeling suspicious or envious. Everyone has these emotions occasionally, and they are natural and reasonable. Healthy couples, however, can communicate their feelings and comfort one another in order to increase trust. 

 

Honest Communication

Healthy relationships are characterized by efficient communication. This means communicating your thoughts and feelings in a straightforward manner rather than relying on your spouse to read your mind and understand your needs. It also entails communicating your sentiments in a sincere and compassionate way to confront and resolve any problem.

Healthy couples may be anxious when discussing delicate subjects, yet they are prepared to work through their issues and find solutions rather than allowing them to worsen.

 

Commitment

For certain healthy partnerships, commitment can be a crucial component. Both couples may feel secure knowing they can rely on their spouse when they commit to one another and stick by each other through good and bad times.

It can be distressing and challenging to deal with infidelity. A betrayal of trust might be grounds for separation in some situations. Others could see it as an indication that it’s time to improve their relationship, possibly through couples counseling.

 

Flexibility

It’s common to evolve during life, and in committed partnerships, both parties will likely undergo changes over time. People in good relationships are prepared to acknowledge that they will not always be precisely the same as before they started dating. Rather, they support their loved one’s ongoing development and acceptance of who they really are throughout time.

 

Having Fun

Even if life has its share of difficulties, balancing them with enjoyable times helps keep your relationship strong. A good relationship may be facilitated by making time to laugh and savor the small moments spent together and by making sure that the enjoyable times are balanced with the unpleasant ones.

A lavish trip or romantic evening is not necessary for a productive relationship. Instead, it could be a joke, sincere compliments, or a kiss and hug before work. The little joyful moments build up and might impact how satisfied you are with your relationship in the long run.

 

How to Improve Your Relationship 

Because it provides a secure space for dating partners to explore each other’s wants and interests, set emotional boundaries, and communicate their own needs, online couples therapy may help people in both successful and problematic relationships. With the assistance of an impartial third party, you and your partner can talk about difficult subjects and create constructive strategies to get past negative communication. 

Couples establish a solid therapeutic bond and feel the experience to be constructive and advantageous for their relationships, even if one of them has initial doubts about online therapy.

 

Making the Most of It

It’s not always a sign that your relationship is unhealthy if you believe it is deficient in one or more of these areas. Rather, it suggests that you and your partner could have a chance to develop and get better together. One strategy to improve the health of your relationship is to use online couples therapy.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Is Ashley Madison Worth It

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Is Ashley Madison Worth It? Find Out Using 3 Questions

 

In this video, we explore if Is Ashley Madison really worth downloading? and the question on many people’s minds about the world of Ashley Madison.

For those unfamiliar, Ashley Madison is a dating platform tailored for people in relationships who are looking to engage in affairs discreetly. This site has been surrounded by controversy, sparking curiosity as well as ethical concerns. But how do you determine if it’s the right choice for you?

I’ll walk you through the three critical questions I share with clients who are either contemplating downloading Ashley Madison or have already taken the leap. These questions aren’t about judgment but about clarity. They’re designed to guide you toward introspective choices that align with your values and intentions. Helping you uncover whether using Ashley Madison aligns with what you genuinely want in your relationships and personal life.

By the end of this video, you’ll have a clearer picture of your motives and values around this decision. You’ll know if Ashley Madison is something you truly want to explore. Or if it might be a path best avoided. Get ready to reflect on these questions and gain insights into what drives your choices. So you can make decisions that contribute to healthier, more aligned outcomes in your relationships.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Why Am I So Insecure In My Relationship?

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Why Am I So Insecure In My Relationship?

 

If you ask yourself, ‘Why Am I So Insecure In My Relationship?’ know that you’re not the only one. Many people feel insecure in their relationships. In fact, many will even run from being in a relationship because of it. Being in a relationship brings so many beautiful moments; however, it also makes us more vulnerable. 

Depending on your past experiences, you will form a certain perspective on romantic relationships, whether positive or negative. First, finding the right therapist can help you feel more secure in relationships, regardless of your past. They can help you understand this insecurity, make healthy boundaries and requests, and feel more secure. 

 

Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship

Being uncertain or insecure about your relationship is referred to as relationship insecurity. It’s one of many limiting beliefs that make you feel nervous, such as the one that says you just aren’t good enough for your relationship or don’t deserve love. You might feel unworthy and start questioning your partner and the relationship you’ve built together. 

Examples of insecurity in relationships could be that you are always afraid of what your lover is up to while they’re not with you. Relationship insecurities are frequently the result of previous trauma, which might have occurred in childhood or adolescence. Regardless of the reason, remember that if you feel insecure about your relationship, it doesn’t mean you’ll feel like this forever. Understanding what makes you feel insecure, whether it’s with a therapist or not, usually leads to healthy, fulfilling relationships with your romantic partner and loved ones. 

 

Factors Impacting Relationship Insecurity

It’s easy to attribute insecure sentiments to external factors. Perhaps you’ve had too many rejections, or your ex-partner may have indeed cheated on you or mistreated you in the past. Perhaps your fear of abandonment started early in your childhood, and your relationship is now triggering it. Though these experiences shape our views, we are ultimately responsible for our own feelings, and relationship insecurity is one of them.

At the bottom of insecurity, there’s sometimes a lack of self-esteem. There could be different explanations and causes as to why one person has less self-esteem than another. A person with low self-esteem will struggle to believe that others see them as worthy because it doesn’t match their perspective of themselves. This applies to romantic relationships as well. 

Also, insecurity in a relationship can be brought on by fear of rejection. Individuals with low self-esteem may be more vulnerable to rejection. Their deepest anxieties and insecurities might be triggered by their partner’s behaviors or words, even though they only mean well.

As mentioned above, people who have been in toxic relationships where their partner mistreated them or was unreliable may bring back these emotions into a new relationship. Of course, understanding this is not easy, and in most cases, a person can see this with the help of another person. 

 

Signs of Relationship Insecurity

If you’re unsure what relationship insecurity is, look for signs. When we’re not certain how we or our partner feel, it’s always a good idea to start paying attention to behavior and words. 

 

Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the most common indications of relationship instability. A jealous partner often wonders what the other person is doing, where they are, and with whom they are. They want to control your free time and friendships and might even spy on you. Jealousy appears when we’re feeling insecure and is common in people who have been betrayed by their loved ones before. 

 

Constant Discussions

When there are two people, there is an opportunity for a discussion. Having different opinions is normal; however, if all you do is fight and you feel exhausted, this, too, could be a sign of insecurity. Unresolved insecurities, a lack of trust, and even the worry that having honest conversations with your partner makes them leave you are the main causes of such arguments. Instead, focus on trying to communicate how you actually feel or what you need from your partner. 

 

Seeking Attention

Jealousy and attention-seeking behaviors might share similar traits, such as the desire for continuous validation. If you lack self-esteem, you will probably seek attention from your partner and others. More importantly, you will probably want them to give you more attention than they can give. If you believe this applies to you, think about why you seek validation from others and start giving it to yourself. 

 

I’m Insecure… What To Do About It? 

You probably haven’t addressed whatever is making you feel insecure, which is why you feel secure in your relationship. This may indicate that your partner isn’t satisfying your needs or may be related to something very personal, such as a lack of self-assurance or anxiety about the future. Finding the source of the real issue is crucial if you want to feel better about your relationship. 

Communication is essential in all aspects of life, yet it becomes much more essential when feeling insecure in your relationship. After all, your partner will not be able to understand what’s going on if you don’t explain it to them first. Think about how you want to communicate what you feel to your partner. The idea is to share how you feel and not to blame them for how you feel. 

Remember: every insecurity in a relationship starts with us. Our emotions influence our actions, and our thoughts influence our feelings. Try to remain calm when talking about sensitive issues like this one because it will help you listen to your partner’s words truly and find the solution together. 

 

Conclusion

If you or your partner are feeling insecure and it’s impacting your relationship, there’s no reason to continue fighting until you break up. Instead, talk to each other about the cause of this insecurity and consider seeing a therapist to help you deal with these causes. Most often, talking to a mental health professional helps us get to know each other better and learn what we need to heal and love freely. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How to Break Up With a Friend

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How to Break Up With a Friend

 

All breakups are complex, yet knowing how to break up with a friend might be the toughest. There are endless reasons why you would want to break up with your friend, from losing shared interests to feeling betrayed by something they did. Because you share a history and likely have complicated feelings, breaking up with a friend is difficult. 

If you’re confident that ending the friendship is correct, continue reading to learn valuable guidelines and tips to avoid a messy situation. 

 

Reasons to Break Up with Your Friend

Knowing why you no longer want to be friends with a certain person can help you make decisions about how to break up with them. This can help you move on more quickly after breaking up with a friend.

As we already said, there are several reasons why you would want to break up with your friend, such as: 

  • Changes: You no longer attend the same school, work together, or engage with each other the way you used to. 
  • Mental health: Your friend is dishonest or unkind, putting more effort into tearing you down than putting you back together. Or you don’t get as much pleasure out of the friendship as you once did.
  • Conflict: One or more situations in which you have different opinions or values strongly impact your friendship. 
  • Toxicity: Your friend’s behavior, word, or energy is becoming harmful, and you don’t feel positive around them.

 

Of course, these are the main reasons why people often break their friendship. Each relationship between two people is unique. If you’re certain you want to break up with your friend, knowing the reason will help you and them move on and learn from this experience. 

 

Before You End It…

If you’re not sure whether to end the connection, spend some time talking to your friend about your issues. Sometimes, having an open discussion with your friend about a challenging circumstance or event can restore trust. 

If you continue to feel uneasy about the relationship despite your best efforts to speak with your friend, it could be time to end it. If they don’t share the same perspective, remind yourself of the reasons for considering this breakup. Most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself time to feel confident about this decision and communicate it clearly to your friend.

 

Best Way to Break Up With a Friend

Breaking up with a friend can be very difficult. Even though you may not want to, you know you should let them go. Even though you know the other person would be hurt, you must consider thinking about yourself first.  

A friend breakup can significantly impact you, especially if you’ve been friends for a long time and given them much of your time, affection, and effort. Is there any way to terminate things amicably? Of course! However, the way you decide to break up with your friend will set the tone of the breakup, so be careful how you talk. 

 

Reflecting on Values

Start by considering your values and how the friendship no longer meets your needs to start the conversation. For instance, you might need to focus on extra income, and you have to tell your friend there is less free time for them. You cannot work less because you need money and feel disappointed that your friend doesn’t get that. They probably need a friend who can be there for them more often than you can, so it makes sense to part ways. 

Another common example is when you’ve just started a romantic relationship and want to dedicate your free time to that special person. If your friend doesn’t understand that and is causing additional pressure on you, it’s not the right friendship for you—or them. You have different values and needs regarding friendships, so ending it is a pretty reasonable decision. 

 

Talk from Your Perspective

Breakups are a consequence of not being able to find common ground. That is why it’s important to talk from your perspective instead of offering dialogue and being curious about how they feel about it. To do so, use “I” statements. 

For instance, you can say, “In the past few months, I feel like our conversations are not as captivating as they used to be. I love talking about new ideas and inspiring things, so focusing only on the negative side of everything is not my thing.” This way, you are setting clear expectations and not accusing your friend of not giving you what you want, which happens in breakup conversations. 

 

Set Your Boundaries

When the conversation ends, let the other person know you would prefer a defined boundary or space or terminate all communication altogether. So, besides letting your friend know the reason for the breakup, make sure you communicate the boundary you want to set. 

This one might be difficult. Asking them to stop texting or calling you might sound harsh, yet it’s natural. After expressing your reasons for ending the friendship, it’s only natural that things will change. Although you might feel uncomfortable addressing these things, it’s important to protect yourself and stay true to your decision. 

 

Post-Friendship Breakup: Taking Care of Yourself 

Even if you were the one to break up with someone, the pain after a breakup is quite common. You will also likely mourn the loss of friendship, even if it was the proper decision to end it. It can be much more complicated if you still have shared connections or are in a larger friend group. However, remember that ending a relationship is perfectly fine when your needs aren’t met and your emotions are wounded or ignored.

When the time is right, inform your other friends of your decision to cut ties with your shared friend and establish any ground rules for discussions. You do not need to share the specifics with your other friends, even though they may be interested in knowing. 

Remember that you are not the only person going through a friendship breakup. Take this opportunity to focus on your healing and properly care for yourself.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

What is Emotional Needs

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Marriage Therapist Answers What is Emotional Needs

 

Welcome to our video on emotional needs in marriage!

Today, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco will explain the concept of emotional needs in relationships. And why they are essential for a healthy and thriving marriage. Emotional needs encompass the psychological requirements individuals have for feeling fulfilled and connected to their partners. These needs can include affection, security, acceptance, validation, and understanding.

When emotional needs are met, partners feel valued and supported. Which fosters a deeper emotional connection that enhances intimacy and trust. This connection creates a safe space where both partners can express themselves freely. However, when these needs go unmet, it can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. Ultimately threatening the stability of your marriage.

Join us as we explore practical tips for recognizing and meeting these needs, such as engaging in regular check-ins, expressing feelings honestly, and practicing empathy. Additionally, we will discuss the importance of being proactive in understanding your partner’s needs and how to communicate your own effectively. By prioritizing emotional needs, you can strengthen your bond and improve communication, paving the way for a more harmonious partnership!

 

 

Get CONNECT: Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Types of Couples Therapy

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Types of Couples Therapy: Understanding Different Clinical Methods

 

The types of couples therapy offered have evolved significantly over the years, tailored to the unique dynamics between partners. Understanding the theoretical foundations of each couples therapy clinical method can help couples choose the best therapy for their relationship. In this blog, we’ll explore several key types of couples therapy, discuss their founding figures, and highlight how it helps couples navigate their challenges.

 

1.Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

One of the most widely used and research-backed methods of couples therapy is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. EFT is based on attachment theory, emphasizing the emotional bonds between partners and how these attachments shape behavior. Dr. Johnson’s approach works by helping couples identify and break negative cycles of communication and fostering secure emotional connections. By focusing on understanding and transforming emotions, EFT provides a framework where partners can express vulnerabilities and rebuild trust and closeness.

This is ideal for couples who struggle with emotional disconnection, frequent arguments, or feelings of insecurity in their relationship. You can do this therapy in person, virtually, or even via text.

 

2.The Gottman Method

Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, the Gottman Method is another popular approach rooted in over 40 years of research. The Gottmans identified key predictors of relationship success or failure, such as the presence of “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The Gottman Method emphasizes communication skills and emotional regulation, using structured interventions to improve relationship dynamics. Couples learn tools for conflict resolution, fostering intimacy, and increasing affection.

The Gottman Method is particularly well-known for its use of empirical data to guide therapy, and it incorporates exercises that couples can practice outside of sessions to build a healthier relationship foundation.

This service is ideal for couples seeking assistance in communication, resolving conflicts, and fostering emotional and physical closeness. You can do it in person or virtually, in the comfort of your own home.

 

3.Imago Relationship Therapy

Developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt in the 1980s, Imago Relationship Therapy is based on the idea that our childhood experiences shape how we interact in romantic relationships. According to this method, we often unconsciously choose partners who mirror unresolved issues from our early lives. Imago therapy encourages couples to engage in structured dialogues that foster empathy and mutual understanding. By recognizing how past wounds influence present behavior, couples can work toward healing and achieving greater connection.

This program is ideal for couples who want to explore how past traumas or childhood experiences impact their current relationship. This is wonderful for those who like text therapy and quick solutions. 

 

4.Narrative Therapy

Narrative Therapy, founded by Michael White and David Epston, offers a unique approach to couples therapy by emphasizing the stories couples tell about their relationship. This framework perceives problems as external to the relationship, not inherent to the individuals involved. We guide couples to “rewrite” their relational stories in ways that foster agency and positive outcomes. Narrative therapy helps partners break habits and create empowering relationship narratives.

This approach is ideal for couples experiencing recurring conflict or seeking to reinterpret their relationship challenges from a more optimistic perspective. Sessions can be done in person or virtually. At our practice, we can do text therapy as well. 

 

5.Esther Perel’s Framework

Developed by Esther Perel, her view that mating in captivity is what leads to affairs is a no-nonsense, direct approach to couples counseling. This method combines practical strategies with deep emotional work to help couples confront difficult truths about their relationship and desire. This often addresses gender dynamics and power imbalances in relationships, aiming for mutual empowerment and respect between partners. Perel emphasizes the need for both partners to take responsibility for their actions and offers straightforward guidance on how to improve relationship patterns. 

This approach is ideal for couples seeking a straightforward, practical method to tackle relationship problems or manage power disparities. You can conduct this via text or virtually. 

 

Conclusion

These couples therapy methods offer different tools and perspectives to help partners navigate their relationships. Whether you’re seeking to improve communication, reconnect emotionally, or address deep-rooted issues, there’s likely a therapeutic method that aligns with your needs. By understanding the focus of these different types of therapy, couples can make informed decisions about the best way to spend their time and money on making their relationship work. 

Overall, the goal is to enhance their relationship and build a stronger, more connected partnership. Choosing the right therapist matters most of all! An excellent couples therapist is one who shares the same common goals as you: fostering a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. Come see one of our staff members today.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.