The perfect vagina

Sex Therapist Reveals How To Get The Perfect Vagina!

HOW TO GET THE PERFECT VAGINA!

 

So you want to have a perfect vagina?

I’m so glad that you are interested in joining the world of the anatomy of pleasure and getting a perfect vagina!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to get a perfect vagina, how to love your perfect vagina and vulva, and how to teach others how to have a perfect vagina too, even if they are intimated!

In no time, you’ll take my advice to use for your own perfect vagina for yourself or for a partner!

My tips for a perfect vagina will surely enlighten you on how to create a more adventurous and pleasure-focused sex life for you and your partner(s)!

Can’t wait for you to learn how to get a perfect vagina!

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE” HERE

-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success!

Watch now! HOW TO GET OVER SEXUAL ANXIETY FOR MEN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNERd...

VIDEO ON COMMUNICATING YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbZX6...

EXCLUSIVE INFORMATION ON THE G-SPOT: https://youtu.be/uRzHrrwWBTk

NEW VIDEOS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 9 PM EST

Amanda Pasciucco has been featured multiple times on CNN, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, and more!

Say hi on social:

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Betty Dodson on Goop Lab on Netflix

Betty Dodson Featured on Goop Lab on Netflix

Betty Dodson Featured on Goop Lab on Netflix

 

I am so excited for Betty and Carlin to be on the premier episode of Goop Lab on Netflix on January 24th. I will be watching my idol Betty Dodson as she talks about female pleasure, vulvas and orgasm techniques!

Betty Dodson is an artist, author, PhD sexologist, and one of the principal voices for women's sexual pleasure and health for over four decades.

Betty was recently named one of the top ten sexual revolutionaries by Cosmopolitan magazine. She was also listed as number 43 of the 100 most important people in sex by Playboy Magazine.

Betty and Carlin run a BodySex Workshop to help women overcome negative body image and pleasure anxiety.

Check out my blog on my BodySex Workshop (a.k.a my naked female weekend) experience:

The Atlantic reviewed Goop Lab on Netflix and said this about Betty's episode:

"The show’s strongest episode features Betty Dodson, the feminist sex educator, discussing the physics of women’s orgasms. It reads as a timely corrective to American culture’s tendency to treat women’s bodies as agents of shame."

Watch the episode on January 24th and and learn from Betty and Carlin on Goop Lab on Netflix.

Watch the video trailer below.

Here is a thank you note I received from Carlin Ross...

Betty and I wanted to reach out and thank you for your support.  You trusted us with your deepest fears and shared your greatest vulnerabilities.  Your warmth and honesty helps us keep pushing forward.

Thank you to our Bodysex sisters.

On January 24th our Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP Lap on Netflix episode on female pleasure will air on Netflix.

Once again, I was Betty's "stunt cunt" and we took the cameras through genital show and tell.

Additionally, Betty shared her Rock 'n Roll orgasm technique.

Several of you submitted vulva pics to show the range of vulva styles YOU FUCKING CAME THROUGH BIG FOR US.

Thank you Thank you Thank you from the bottom of our clits.  To more orgasms for womankind.

Much love
Betty and Carlin

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


How the Other Woman Feels When It’s Over!

How the Other Woman Feels When It’s Over!

 

How does the other woman feel when they’re caught up in an affair? Most of the time, they get overlooked or accused of wrecking what was a healthy marriage or partnership. That, though, isn’t always true.

When affairs happen, it’s easy to throw around absolutes over who was wrong and why things went down the way they did. Emotions run hot in relationships anyway. Add infidelity to the mix and things can get explosive.

Just as is the case in steady relationships, affairs happen on a spectrum. Some people get involved in affairs because of nefarious reasons. They love the thrill of cheating or are too cowardly. They can't be honest with their spouse or partner. The cheating partner knows they’re doing something awful, but their ego overpowers their sense of morality.

Affairs aren’t always evil, as weird as that sounds. Going around your partner’s back for sex, connection, touch, or any other reason is never good, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we can empathize why it happens. Throw in children, financial responsibilities, religious conviction, and societal pressure into the mix, and it’s possible to understand why it happens.

 

Our Yearning for Connection

“How could she? She knew he was married! She’s a homewrecker.” The other woman always catches a ton of heat when affairs go down.

It’s easy to demonize the other woman. After all, why would any woman want to be with someone who is living a double life? It must be that their intentions are bad, because, why would they ever agree to be with someone they know is unable to fully commit?

Understand, too, that people who drive themselves into affairs are often master manipulators. They use guilt, flattery, humor, or whatever else it takes to capitalize on a woman’s weakness. Remember, people who take no thought of how infidelity will affect their faithful partner aren’t usually worried about a little emotional manipulation to get what they want.

 

The Other Woman and Her Six Human Needs

For decades, psychologists have preached about Maslow’s needs and how survival, safety, love, belonging, esteem, and self-realization drive everything we do. The motivations on why anyone, including the other woman, enters into an affair is no exception.

Other women have affairs because they want safety knowing exactly what their relationship is. They like knowing that whatever this “relationship” is, it can only go so far because he or she has someone waiting for them at home. They enjoy the casualness of the affair because it gives them a bit of belonging but doesn’t get in the way of their journey towards self-realization.

 

Sometimes Affairs Fill a Need

Perhaps the person having an affair who they’re involved with offers them the companionship they’re seeking but unable to get elsewhere. Maybe the sex is great. Other times, an affair offers her a transactional human connection that doesn’t encroach on other parts of her life like a career, education, or some other form of personal development.

In our experience, women get caught up in affairs for several reasons. If you’ve had an affair before, you know that it doesn’t start with any sort of desire to destroy someone else’s life.

Usually, women accept the constraints of living in an affair because what they’re getting is filling a gaping need, even if what they’re receiving is shallow.

That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable, but knowing affairs happen for many reasons can help us be more fully aware of what it takes to sustain a loving, fulfilling relationship.

 

What It’s Like for the Other Woman

The other woman is an interesting role. It’s a role that doesn’t get a lot of attention because it goes against the popular narrative that women generally seek emotional connections before physical ones.

If that was the case, though, affairs would never happen because the other woman is often short changed when it comes to time and affection from the person they’re sleeping with.

It’s true, some women find themselves in affairs at low points in their lives when they’re willing to accept less than they deserve. That’s not always the case though. Some women love the thrill of flirting with danger, of tasting the forbidden fruit, being a little naughty.

After all, if the feeling is mutual with someone, you’re super attracted to, it’s very tempting. You get to go home by yourself without all the obligations and emotional baggage of a committed relationship. Your life is still very much yours. It can be pretty appealing for some people.

 

Dwindling Taboos Make Affairs Easier

It’s important to understand as well that life is different these days. The hookup culture that most of us have grown up with has meant fewer people are settling down. More people are ok with a bit of sex and personal connection without it overwhelming our lives.

The other woman is often someone who wants to have good sex, go out to a nice place on occasion, and have some fun without it getting in the way of their personal goals. Whether or not the person they’re sleeping with is having an affair is no business of theirs.

 

Lingering Hopes They’ll Change

A lot of other women get caught up waiting. They wait endlessly the person they’re involved with promises over and over again that they’re leaving their partner behind to be with them. When the promised deadline passes, they get a gift, an apology, and another promise it’ll happen soon.

When real feelings are involved, it’s easy for the other woman to view the spouse at home or wherever they are as the bad one. They’re abusive, manipulating, or holding the kids as leverage. All they have to do, they think, is wait for her out and the new couple can make a happy life together.

Realize, as well, that not all other women even know about the committed relationship their partner is in. Plenty of women have been lied to while the person they’re seeing is living a double life. All along they thought they just had to travel for work a bunch. There are, however, things you can do to spot an affair.

 

When It Ends

Just like normal relationships, affairs can end messily or amicably. It’s common for the other woman to feel a sense of relief after an affair. The longer the affair goes on, the heavier the emotional burden can get. Not having to worry about getting caught, when you can call, and all the other ‘rules’ in an affair can be freeing.

Perhaps the best lesson from non-consensual affairs we can take is that they help us better understand what we crave and what it takes to find something fulfilling.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Natural Male Enhancement

Natural Male Enhancement

Natural Male Enhancement

 

When did the obsession over penis size start? I mean, if you take a trip to Rome, you’ll see row after row of statues with a beautiful muscular physique. Draft your eyes a bit lower, though, and you see some pretty small penises. Some say small penises were idealized then. It wasn’t too long ago, so why the shift?

These days, from grade school locker rooms to professional pornography shoots, people look at and talk about penis size. Now it’s a huge part of sex culture. People with penises silently judge themselves based on their “size”. It’s not their defining trait, but it’s certainly on the mind.

Sure, if you’ve got an average-sized package, you’re always looking for a bit of an edge. Maybe in the right lighting, whoever’s looking at your waist region will look fantastic after a nice night out. Additionally, a few compliments from partners or casual hookups on your size are enough to never make you worry about it again.

There are, though, people who struggle over their penis size. They worry about what impression it makes and how it affects sexual performance. There’s so much emphasis on large penises these days, that it’s easy to get trapped into self-consciousness if you feel like you’re smaller than average.

The good news is that you can help enhance your penis naturally by taking a few steps. It’s not going to take you from four inches to twelve, but natural male enhancement works. What’s best? It will make you feel better about yourself and more confident in dealing with intimate situations.

 

Stop Smoking

This is not a joke. Smoking can shrink your penis size. Unfortunately, sometimes smokers suffer from permanent penis shrinkage that cannot always be reversed.

It’s a small minority of smokers, yet any chance is reason enough not to do so. Especially when you think about all the other reasons not to smoke cigarettes.

When you smoke, it affects blood vessels in the body, including the penis. 

When the blood flow is impaired, it prevents the penis from stretching and filling with blood during an erection. 

Not only could you suffer a frustrating episode right before sex, but it also affects your ability to maintain an erection. That’s bad news for you and could be bad news for whoever you’re having sexual interactions with. 

After you’ve stopped smoking, not only will you notice a difference in your size and the ability to get and maintain an erection; you’ll feel better overall! It may be a worthwhile goal for any of you still smoking!

 

Try to Lose Some Weight

If you’re overweight, excess fat may restrict blood flow inside blood vessels as well. Of course, consult your doctor whenever you attempt to lose weight. Some people don’t have the weight to lose!

There are ways you should go about losing weight that make it healthy, so find what works for your overall lifestyle.

Losing weight can be great for your overall health if you are on the heavier side, and it can bring some positive news for your penis!

Proportions matter, right? 

When you have excess weight above the waist, it can make your penis look small in comparison. Certainly, even a large penis can look small on a large person. 

When you lose weight, some of the fat on the pubic bone disappears, leaving more room for your penis to shine. 

Fun Fact - your penis also extends back into your body. Losing excess fat from your waist and pelvis will reveal more of your penis root and allow for greater sensation and deeper penetration during sex.

 

Take Inventory of When You Feel the Firmest and Hardest

Enhancement isn’t just about size all the time. The great thing about penises is that they get bigger when you need them to! Natural enhancement deals also with getting better, harder, and longer erections. 

Hormones feed erections. In bodies with penises, testosterone feeds your ability to get and keep an erection. Higher levels of testosterone mean you become aroused more frequently and easily. 

Lower testosterone equates to lower sex drive, among other negative symptoms. 

Hormone levels change regularly. They shift when you’re in different physical shapes, based on your diet, the time of day, your age, and other factors.

One thing you can do for natural penis enhancement is to understand your body and take stock of what’s going on when you have a great erection. 

Natural Male EnhancementDon’t just say that you get a great erection because you’re about to make love to someone very attractive. Is your erection better in the morning? Is it more firm at night? How are your erections after one drink? After four? What about after you smoke? What about if you don’t sleep well?

Notice the patterns in your erections. When you can zero in on what makes your erection great, then you can get started working on creating those conditions over and over.

 

Try Some Ginseng for Performance Enhancement

Let’s just get this out of the way. Sometimes it’s hard to get or hold an erection. 

People with penises all over the world have dealt with this. It can be embarrassing, especially when you’re eager to impress, and let’s just admit that it’s a fact of life, and normalize this!

Chronic erectile dysfunction may need attention from a physician. Sometimes chronic erectile dysfunction is a sign of something else! 

Sometimes people experience more difficulty getting and staying hard based on age and other factors. 

Ginseng is one thing you can try to overcome erection challenges!

Red ginseng is a traditional Korean herbal remedy that’s long been used overseas to treat several conditions. 

Recently, it’s made its way into the United States because of its ability to help with erectile dysfunction. The science behind red ginseng is still being researched. Our favorite types are Herb Pharm Asian (Panex) Ginseng Tincture or Pure Encapsulations Panex Ginseng. 

However, Ginseng is believed to increase levels of nitric oxide in the blood which can improve blood flow and help you get a better erection faster.

In 2008, the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology published a review that pointed to red ginseng as improving ED in multiple studies. Since then, more and more people with penises struggling with ED have benefitted from taking ginseng. I have seen it in my practice numerous times!

 

Work with What You’ve Got

You need to recognize that, without surgery, there’s only so much you can do. 

Every natural enhancement can marginally improve your erections and the size of your penis. 

When added up together, however, they can make a massive difference! 

You’ll feel great and your partners will start to take notice.

Love the skin, and penis you are in, and know what you can and cannot do to help!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

 

Learning How to Love Yourself Takes Work!

Yes, it comes more naturally for some, and at times, it’s easier to do than when things aren’t going well. 

During hard times, it’s more important than ever to learn how to love yourself. Whether you’re facing trouble at work, with your family, or in romantic relationships, forgetting to love yourself can mean you’ll sacrifice your health and emotional well-being for others’.

By the end of this blog, you will learn what I have taught hundreds of others on how to love yourself. 

What does loving yourself mean? It certainly doesn’t mean that everything’s going great and you’re close to perfection. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you love yourself, you open yourself up to self-compassion. You stop holding yourself up to some imaginary standard that’s impossible to meet.

Self-compassion and love create a space where you can get to know yourself intimately. You can finally let go of real or perceived expectations, find out who you are, and what you need to thrive. When that happens, your newfound confidence will ripple around you and influence your career, your family, and the ones you love.

 

Embracing the Me First Mentality

Strangely, so many of us struggle to put ourselves before others. Maybe it’s because there’s so much cultural pressure to avoid anything that looks selfish, prideful, or self-obsessed.

Treating others well is a great principle, as long as you’re treating yourself well first. Too many of us focus emotion or time and effort on others from a place of weakness. We’re worried someone might not like us, or we are guilted into something we’d rather not do.

Love Yourself 

We’ve all felt that feeling of being manipulated emotionally. It’s never fun and ultimately leads to disappointment. We spend too much time stuck in disappointing relationships or doing favors for others when we don’t want to because we don’t love ourselves enough.

Deep down, we all know we should be spending more time on what makes us happy. Time spent focused on personal development positively impacts everyone we’re around. When we grow as individuals, we’re less reliant on external sources of affirmation. Then, acts of kindness, love, and service are sincere and not done out of hopes for a desired reaction.

 

I Instead of We

When you love yourself, you’re also more capable of navigating difficult times in relationships. Instead of avoiding blame at all costs and shying away from feedback, you seek it out. You’re more inclined to take ownership of your actions.

This has a tremendous effect on interpersonal relationships, especially romantic relationships. It’s easy to play the blame game in a budding romance or with a spouse or partner. Most often this takes the form of disguised criticism or negativity towards a partner with the cover of “we”.

“We need to work out more. We need to drink less. Maybe we should spend less money.” In any romantic relationship, these may be valid points. However, using “we” here is a form of passive-aggressive critique that doesn’t bode well for a healthy intimate relationship.

If you love yourself, you should be able to own statements and offer advice and feedback openly and honestly. “I think you should drink less.”, is a more direct, but honest way of communicating how you feel. You know what you need to be happy and you feel confident telling who you love how to make things work. Loving yourself also means being ok if things don’t work.

 

Staying Connected Through All the Mess

Loving yourself is so important because the hard times will come eventually. When they arrive, it gets harder and harder to suppress your ego for the good of your relationship. So many couples end prematurely because ego got in the way.

When you love yourself, who you are is defined less by how others treat you. You’re not popular because you get a million likes or comments. Your foundation is solid, so you can see that flash of anger, lack of patience, or uncertainty from your partner less as an attack on you, but as an opening for you to offer more love and affirmation.

 

Communicating Intimacy

Love Yourself

Nowhere is self-love more important than in creating and sustaining intimacy. There’s a quote from the famous poet Oscar Wilde that says, “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” We spend so much time thinking about and pursuing sex, it’s possible to get lost in the power dynamics and find ourselves in a bad emotional place.

When you love yourself, intimacy comes more naturally. Sex is less complicated because we’re confident expressing ourselves and giving earnestly with clear motivations. You aren’t motivated by guilt, and you’re less likely to do something you’ll regret later. Loving yourself allows you to give honest physical and emotional love. That’s great news because it helps make sure choices about sex between partners is more consensual and will lead to greater sexual satisfaction.

 

The Gift of Choice

When confronted with adversity, loving yourself provides the gift of choice. You view challenges and opportunities through a lens of what will be the most helpful or beneficial rather than worrying about what others will think.

As you develop more self-compassion and establish a love for yourself, be aware, though, that other people are in different stages of development. They may not be ready to handle your decisions well. It may evoke negative emotional reactions.

In these instances, it can be helpful to work through decisions with a therapist. Their experience can help you gauge how your partner may react to an explanation or decision you’ve made. They can also help you recognize any factors you may be missing. It’s a great help when making impactful decisions about things like marriage, moving in together, splitting up, having kids, or overcoming serious disputes.

Talking with a therapist can also help you unpack whatever’s stopping you from establishing self-love. It may be that something in your past, whether it’s a trauma or bad habits that build up over time, an expert can help you get to the root of insecurities or whatever else is in the way.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Learn to Speak Your Partner’s Love Language

Learn to Speak Your Partner’s Love Language

 

You’ve heard about the 5 Love Languages, and now imagine what a Sex Therapist has to say about GIVING in YOUR PARTNERS LOVE LANGUAGE! 

Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts has been around for decades

That’s an eternity in our fast-changing, “what’s new today” world. 

There are many reasons the book and the lessons have such staying power. 

When people read the book, it is as if the author sees inside of us. The author knows what behaviors drive us and often this speaks to the holes in our lives that are yearning to be filled. 

Like most relationship advice or personality quizzes we get, we immediately think, “What does this mean for me?” 

It’s like a lightbulb goes off in our heads when we put words to what makes us feel happy and loved. 

Learning your own love language, especially if you’ve found yourself constantly disappointed in love, is like finally finding buried treasure when you had a feeling it was there. 

It’s understandable that we immediately gravitate toward analyzing our own love languages. But what about our partners, the people who rely on us to speak their language and keep their buckets full? Indeed, discovering our own love languages is groundbreaking, but learning to speak someone else’s love language is where the real magic happens. It’s where romantic relationships experience real breakthroughs. 

 

Dealing with Language Matches

If you’re matched with someone with overlapping love languages, it’s easy to think things will be smooth sailing. Sure, there are definite benefits to two people who speak the same love language pairing up. Adjustments can be less strenuous for everyone. 

5 love language

There are, though, challenges to speaking the same languages. What happens when you both need to be spoken to at the same time? Physical touch might be easier because you’re being touched as you touch your partner, but what about something like acts of service? It can be hard to do something nice like making dinner for your partner when you feel like dinner should be made for you. 

When you both need the same bucket filled to stay happy and feel loved, it’s easy for resentment to creep in. And resentment is one of the major determinants to loving relationships. When you speak the same love language as your partner, you need to focus on overcoming your ego maybe more than others do. 

Fight the urge to hold back love, touch, affirmation, or acts of service as a ransom. The best thing to do is to give love freely, without strings attached, and communicate with your partner if you feel like your love language needs to be spoken more loudly or more often. 

 

When You Need to Learn to Speak a New Language

For most of us, getting involved with a partner or being in a romantic relationship means we’re learning a new language. Sometimes it’s one, sometimes it’s more. We can’t stress the importance of becoming fluent in your partner’s love languages enough. 

Too many people go through their lives feeling like they’re supportive, dependable lovers. All the while, their partners secretly wish they were touched a bit more, or that their partner was more giving. Our first instinct in romantic relationships is to speak to our partners in our love languages. 

Imagine a scene in a movie where explorers discover new land. When they first come in contact with the local people, they try to speak to them in a language they don’t understand, yet they repeat themselves over and over as if it was simply a matter of not hearing them enough! It’s too often the same with love languages. We can touch our partner, give them all the sex and massages in the world, but your message won’t get through if all they want is for you to make them dinner. 

What you should do, whenever appropriate, is to have a talk with your partner about what they need to feel loved. What speaks to them? How do they appreciate love being expressed? When you find out what their love languages are, you’ll have a clearer path to effective communication. 

Just because you know what their love language is, speaking it’s not easy. Showing love in a different language takes conscious effort and conditioning. The payoff, though, is worth it. When you start to speak your partner’s love language, you enter the wonderful world of reciprocation. Partners find themselves in a virtuous cycle of filling their partner’s buckets and having theirs filled in return. 

 

The Love Language Starter Pack

You don’t just start speaking a language fluently once you know its name, and the same is true for love languages. Knowing what to do with finding out your partner’s love language can be hard, especially if you’ve never spoken it. Here are some easy pointers for how to speak any one of the love languages.

5 love language

Physical Touch

If your partner needs physical touch, make sure to come in contact with them regularly. It can be anything from a touch on the arm to snuggling up next to each other on the couch to watch a movie. Sex, of course, is always welcome. However, avoid the appearance of touching your partner only because you know they want or need it. 

 

Acts of Service

Acts of service can vary from small things like taking out the trash to coming through when your partner’s in a bind. Do the little things like help with chores. Make the bed, do the dishes, and pay the credit card. Remember the big things, too. 

 

Words of Affirmation

People who speak this love language need verbal support. They thrive on getting compliments. Tell your partner you believe in them. Send a card or a text on occasion expressing why you love them and what they mean to you. 

 

Quality Time

Speak quality time by dedicating moments where you and your partner can focus on each other. Go on a date and don’t look at your phone once. Make frequent eye contact and ask them meaningful questions. Schedule a class or a fun activity together. 

 

Receiving Gifts

Don’t buy gift cards. Take the time to think about meaningful gifts and get them for birthdays, anniversaries, and, every so often, just because. Take note anytime your partner says they need something and make sure to go out and get it. 

5 love languageYou can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Tantric Sex Therapist

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

Tantric Sex Therapist – Find the Power of Breath, Sound, and Movement

 

Tantric sex therapy can be a life-changing form of counseling that can alter the course of your intimacy and loving relationships. 

People involved in tantra are deeply curious about the exploration of sex, taking it from something that at times can seem simple, transforming it into a deeper, more meaningful experience.

For a lot of people, sex is an activity about the release. People treat it like it’s a primal urge that serves to reduce tension and experience a fleeting moment of pleasure. 

It becomes routine, a “weekend-only” appointment between couples. With the stress of daily life hovering over us constantly, pressure enters the bedroom, and sex suffers.

Tantric sex therapy can help you become more in tune with your mind and body, allowing you to connect physically and emotionally during sex. It elevates the sexual connection you have with yourself and your partner.

 

Meeting with a Tantric Sex Therapist

First of all, here’s what you need to know about tantric sex therapists. They’ve dedicated at least hundreds of hours to learning their practice and working under the supervision of licensed therapists and trainers. 

 

To become certified, they have to meet stringent requirements laid out by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

This involved earning an advanced clinical degree and extensive clinical experience.

When you first meet with a tantric sex therapist, there will be a feeling-out process. 

They’ll want to know your motivations for undertaking tantra sex therapy and try to understand where you are currently emotionally and as a lover. 

Remember, sex therapy is a process of exploration meant to help you become a better lover and ultimately experience sex and life in a more positive way.

Additionally, seeing a sex therapist isn’t just about learning how to give a better blow job or engage in lengthier foreplay. 

Licensed clinicians can help you if you’re dealing with issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other challenges. It’s a process designed for sexual healing and sexual pleasure.

 

Somatic Sexology in Therapy Sessions

Some AASECT-Certified Sex Therapists have other practitioners who weave somatic experiencing and tantra in their practice with clients. 

Somatic sexology is a more embodied form of sex therapy that is designed to improve the connection between mind and body pertaining to sex and intimacy.

Many people, for a number of reasons including religious backgrounds, cultural norms, trauma, and other personal history have trouble connecting pleasure with bodily sensations. 

They are disconnected from their own bodies, and as a result, can recoil or resist sexual pleasure. 

 

It’s hard for them to relax during sex, which prevents them from connecting with themselves or their partners. 

This can lead to complications trying to achieve orgasm and frustrations in intimate relationships.

A tantric sex therapist focuses on the power of breath, sound, and movement to help you or a loved one overcome difficulties relaxing and engaging sexually.

 

Breath

Breath is an often-overlooked factor in sexual health. Many people, over the course of a sexual encounter, will hold their breath or breathe too rapidly. Tantric Sex Therapist

When this happens, the body can interpret the stress as dangerous, and begin to tense up. Improper breathing makes orgasming harder and will disrupt the flow of sexual connection.

A tantric sex therapist can help you understand how your breathing is affecting your sexual life. They can give you breathing techniques that will help you relax and gain greater control over your body. 

 

Better breath control improves blood flow and oxygenation that results in a more relaxed, stimulating sexual experience.

 

Sound

Sound therapy is another way a tantric sex therapist can help you destress and engage more consciously.

 

Therapists use calming music, white noise, and other sounds to help you relax and center your mind and body. 

 

Think about the sounds you hear during sex and what kind of response they trigger. If you’re a parent, the sound of crying or bullying can destroy any sexual desire. 

Likewise, if the TV is on, radio, or other kinds of music and noise that detract from the experience.

Therapists help use sound to improve your sexual mood. They can also help you understand how different words or speech can elicit positive or negative sexual responses. 

That’s great news for partners who struggle with what to say to turn you on.

 

Movement

The final component of Tantra is using movement and sexual positions to enhance or highlight pleasure and arousal. It helps you become more comfortable with intimate touch. 

The techniques will improve nonverbal communication between you and your partner and help you achieve sexual breakthroughs.

Learning new positions and how to move can also help you orgasm more easily. They can even be longer-lasting and more intense. 

People who practice tantric sex frequently experience full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.

 

Tantric Sex for Mind-Body Alignment

Tantric sex therapy helps increase the mind-body connection in those who are open to sexual exploration. Good therapists know that everyone starts their sexual journey from different points. 

People who experience roadblocks to feeling comfortable with physical touch will need different suggestions than those looking for better orgasms. 

Tantric sex therapists will work with you to have better, more meaningful sex wherever you are.

Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut! 

Learning about and practicing simple tantric sex exercises are fun and a great way to grow a sexual connection between you and your partner. 

What’s even more fun is that the more you practice, the better you become. As you master the breathing, sound, and movement techniques, your sexual experiences will be more fulfilling. When the sex is great, it can be hard to complain about anything else.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.


No Sexual Desire

How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

How To Go From No Sexual Desire to Willing in 15 Steps!

By Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT AASECT CST & CE Provider

I wrote this out for a few clients of mine that felt no sexual desire for their partners after 20+ years of sex and self-pleasure. These individuals wanted the option of “how to set the mood” without using Role Play. 

Prerequisite - WILLINGNESS

  1. TIME! You know this one. I am going to break it down ANYWAY. But don’t forget it. Set a time. If you can’t find the time then you are sending a message to your partner that they are not a priority to you. The sexual connection we have must be a priority in a monogamous romantic relationship. If it isn’t, your partner and you won’t be fulfilled by one another and there will be no sexual desire. TIME TOGETHER SHOWS LOVE. No Sexual Desire
  2. Showering. To me, the shower is a reset. Take a shower with dimighting.. Always have a nightlight 24/7 in the bathroom if possible. (are you by yourself or with a partner?)

  1. Setting the scene. Keep your bathroom and bedroom as clutter-free as possible that night. Keep children or your pets away from the space if possible. We want to bring AWARENESS to the amazingness that is about to happen.

  1. Clean, black or dark scrumptious SOFT sheets.

  1. Light candles in your bedroom, and have water and light snacks, such as fruit ready. 

  1. Brush your teeth, floss and use mouthwash. . Not because you have to, but because it’s nice to go the extra step for the person you love.

  1. Smell is CRITICAL. Do NOT put on any perfume,cologne, or scented ANYTHING - enjoy each other's natural scent.

  1. FINALLY, it’s time to get together. TAKE THREE DEEP BREATHS IN and OUT while looking into each others eyes and smiling (you can blink).

  1. Discuss the need you are trying to get met.Oral Sex For Woman

 

  1. Pick the “personas” you want to be in to get those top 1 or 2 needs for each of you met, or decide to focus on one of you one week and then one of you the next week. Personas / roles can include, but are not limited to the following: the school girl / teacher role play, the “wife / husband” newlyweds, the college, wild, party parts, the primal parts,  the make-up sex part, the Dom/sub parts, the young, playful parts, or something else? 

  1. Pick a playlist. And set a time for how long the phones and TVs will be off. Stay in an intimate space with your partner unless there is a life or death emergency. Nothing else matters. NOTHING. Prioritize and focus.

And then the night begins. You can do anything in here that fits with the roles of those mentalities that would meet the needs you discussed. If you need help with suggestions, message me with roles and I can help.

  1. End the night by saying what you are THANKFUL for in that experience and what you want to try again next time or try MORE of. No insults here. Appreciations only.

  1. Drink water, and blow out the candles with INTENTION and RESPECT. Sex magic and adult play is so amazing, because it is an exciting way to turn no sexual desire into sexual ectasy. 

  1. Turn off the music. Wash all props, sex toys, lube off of everything. Put away anything you don’t want to get altered by children or pets.                                                                                                                                                                                                    
  2. End scene. Use the bathroom.. Get a snack. Lay together and talk about what went well. 

Bonus:  Shower if you want. Journal about it if you want.

No sexual desire can happen to all of us, we just have to be willing to find a way. 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

 

For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl

 

Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.

 

Check out her website!

 

Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 - 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.

 

More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 

 

Benefits:

  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Shave your pubic hair

To Shave or Not to Shave Your Pubic Hair

To Shave or Not to Shave Your Pubic Hair  

Think twice before you laser or shave your pubic hair! 

If you have been wondering whether or not to shave your pubic hair entirely, trim it closely, or let it grow bushy, we are happy to tell you the trend is to do whatever makes you happy.

If you grew up before the late nineties, you may have gotten your first glimpse of a stranger’s naked body in an adult magazine. Remember, this was before the internet and the explosion of online porn. People sometimes had to learn the birds and the bees from printed publications or VHS tapes.

Back in the old days, the centerfolds laid out on the pages had a healthy bush. It was almost as if no one had ever heard of shaving pubic hair. Large tufts of pubic hair on all genders were in full effect.

For the past two decades, however, shaving has been in.

 

Smooth Sexy Parts

Many years ago, Brazilian wax salons started popping up all over the country. At first, we all giggled at the thought of ripping hair off vaginas, balls, and other body parts. Waxing scenes removing underarm hair, chest hair, and pubic hair played in movies and jokes between friends.

The no pubic hair trend caught fire and stuck. All you have to do is take a look at some popular porn sites to take sampling. Most of the videos feature people of all genders with no pubic hair.

So why did pubic hair removal become so popular? A lot of people prefer it, because they feel like it’s a cleaner look. You’re not worried about pubes poking out of a swimsuit or falling all over the bathroom floor. Others like how it gives a better view of what you’re working with down there.

Celebrity voices added to the popularity of the no-bush trend. Some have spoken out about their personal preference for laser hair removal and waxing. Even for celebrities who’ve remained silent, all you have to do is take a look at their social media posts in tight swimsuits to see they’re pubic hair-free.

 

Don’t Look Now, But Bush is Back!

Even though pubic hair removal is still extremely popular, having pubic hair is becoming less of a taboo. Before, if you had pubic hair, you’d probably get some heat for being lazy or sloppy. Now, however, it’s becoming a sort of personal statement.

We’ve all heard that fashion trends repeat. Could it be the same for pubic hair? Well, in the past few years, pubic hair is making somewhat of a comeback.

Shave your pubic hair
Pubic Hair (Photo Credits: Needpix)

As is usually the case, a trend starts when a small group of people decide they want to go against the crowd. They decide they don’t want to do what everyone else is doing. They want to stand out.

Eventually, people take notice and want to hop on the early beginnings of a trend. More and more people do it until whatever was popular in the beginning is hard to find at all. Then the cycle repeats.

The same is happening with shaving and other ways of pubic hair removal. The bush is creeping back into the mainstream. You can find it online in pornographic videos, pictures, and even in Hollywood productions.

 

Here are some of the most common NEGATIVE examples of why people shave:

  • They feel disgusted to kiss their partners after going down on them. 
  • Sometimes, partners refuse cunnilingus or intercourse with menstruating women or women with pubic hair. 
  • Joking about vulvas and vaginas smelling “like fish” or ejaculation is “gross” and “repulsive.”
  • Partners shave off their body hair because they state it smells bad and holds the sweat.

 

Tips for when you shave your pubic hair: 

Make sure you use an organic balm on the gentle skin of the pubic region. If you want to shave your pubic hair, just know that there will be some itching as it grows back. 

Test for allergies! I was using organic products for years, and then found out I was still allergic to some of the products themselves, not just the pesticides of the pharmacy brand version).

If you love that bare look of no hair, enjoy a fun slip and slide with a hairless partner! I know some people who actually tweeze or thread their pubic hair to get the smoothest sensation imaginable. Yes, this takes hours to do if you are tweezing.  

These are long-standing beliefs that keep our pleasure repressed, and keep us self-conscious instead. Find a happy medium for YOURSELF!

If you want bush, go for it. If you want to shave, go for it.

Or find a happy medium!

 

Keeping It Trim

An alternative for pleasure-enhancement is trimming! 

At my Betty Dodson BodySex weekend, one of the women came in Day 1 donning a beautiful bush and the next day, she trimmed and was equally joyful and orgasmic Day 2!

We haven’t made a full return to the glory days when huge bush was in style...

Now when pubic hair makes an appearance [in pornography], it’s often neatly trimmed. 

Closely-cropped pubic hair is easier to manage – there are fewer painful waxing or lasering sessions – and many individuals find this trimmed, “natural-state” highly desirable. 

 

Grooming Tips

Thankfully, personal grooming is easier than ever. There are widely available grooming shavers that are adjustable to match whatever length or shape you’re looking for. 

If you are thinking about letting your pubic hair make a comeback, start slowly. Buy a grooming tool that you can use to keep things trim and take it from there.

Shave your pubic hair
[Photo: Getty]

You still have a lot of choices in pubic grooming! 

There’s waxing, shaving, threading, laser hair removal, chemicals that remove hair and other forms of trimming. 

It’s not an “all or nothing” proposition when it comes to pubic hair.

 

Check out some LCAT Fan Favorites:

  • The best razor for a close shave without nicks
  • Shaving cream choice, especially for those with sensitive skin
  • Baby trimmer for those who have never done it
  • Body trimmer reported to prevent cutting
  • Multigroom series

If you are going to get a brazalian or an anal wax, make sure that the person you are going to has hygenic facilities and that they are experienced. This is not a place you want any infections. 

 

Body Positivity and Personal Preference

One of the best things about recent trends in pubic hair is the underlying support for personal preference when it comes to your body. We still have some ways to go, but the return of pubic hair and the debate over whether bald is better is becoming less about what’s “hot” and more about doing whatever you want concerning your body.

That sense of body sensitivity has sexual maturity, acceptance from sexual partners and even helped push choice feminism. 

With the reemergence of bushier pubic hair, women should feel less confined to a certain body image or personal grooming standards. 

Everyone has better sex when we feel good about our bodies.

More and more people, including people with large public followings, are proudly announcing their preference for the natural look. 

That may seem a bit trite, but it goes a long way to breaking down barriers. Sometimes, when public figures open the door to how many people feel, it’s easier for them to take the leap and make changes.

The trend, for now, remains overwhelmingly in favor of total hair removal or very limited pubic hair. However, the stigma of bushy or trimmed pubic hair on all genders is slowly fading away. That’s good news for everyone.

Some people do what their partner prefers. I would consider that choosing what makes you feel the most confident about your body is what matters. 

 

Can You Go Back if You’ve Done Laser Hair Removal?

What about people who chose laser hair removal to permanently remove their pubic hair? 

A few years ago, they were so sure they’d never want pubic hair again. 

The trend is changing, though, and so are some people’s minds.

With laser hair removal, your pubic hair may not be completely gone forever, and it’s likely that hair that grows back will be lighter, thinner, and that there will be fewer of them.

Believe it or not, in recent years, some medical facilities have started performing hair transplants on people - for those balding, those who want a fuller bush, or those who regret past laser hair removal. 

The procedures are expensive and are by no means mainstream, yet if the trend towards pubic hair continues, expect there to be more developments here.

Still, even with the potential for hair removal reversal, permanent laser removal should be something you consider at length. 

Focus instead on feeling good about your body and taking small steps to find out what works best for you.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.