Break Up With Someone During The Holidays

How To Break Up With Someone During The Holidays, According To Experts

How To Break Up With Someone During The Holidays, According To Experts

 

By CAROLYN STEBER from bustle.com

While it's never easy to end a relationship, it can be particularly difficult to break up with someone during the holidays. It's only natural to think you'll celebrate with your partner, give gifts, visit family, and spend the season side by side. So the idea of pulling the plug on all that, right when expectations are high, can be tricky.

And yet sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If a relationship isn't working, it's OK to end it even though the holidays are right around the corner. It can even be kind, in a way, not to lead a partner on through the festivities, only to break up them in the new year. Instead, focus on ways to make the break up less terrible, find the right time, and then do it.

Following the time-tested bandage method, where you rip it off (or end the relationship) quickly, is usually the least painful option. "If you’re going to break up with someone, be direct about it," Jonathan Bennett, a relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. "The holidays are stressful enough and your partner doesn’t need the extra drama of ghosting, slow fading, or anything else except a clean breakup."

It may be tempting to ignore texts or bail on holiday parties as a way of slowly stepping out of a relationship, but being straightforward is best. And don't wait until the last minute, either. "The longer you wait to end it, the more you’ll disrupt everyone’s holiday schedule," Bennett says. It's going to throw your partner through a loop, but even more so if they don't have time to make other plans.

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Depending on the length and intensity of your relationship, the breakup could be as easy as that. But if you've been committed for years, be prepared to do more work. "We get into relationships with respect and love," Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. "We ought to end them with respect and love towards the partner we say we have loved."

This might mean going to couples therapy before calling things off. "Send an email, handwrite a letter, or have a face-to-face conversation (or multiple conversations) stating you are not happy and that you want to see a therapist before immediately breaking up with someone," Pasciucco says. On the one hand, you may begin to overcome your differences. Or, it could be the last olive branch you need to extend before officially parting ways.

From there, end the relationship as you would any other time of year. "Be honest. Own your part. Stay respectful [...] Treat them the way you would like to be treated," Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, a licensed psychotherapist, tells Bustle. "And finally, apologize for anything you may have said or done that was hurtful. And tell them they are lovable and deserving of a healthy relationship in the future."

Once you've broken up try to take good care of yourself, especially as you head out to gatherings and dinners. "It is difficult to breakup before the holidays because of shame, fear [...] and what others will think of you both," Pasciucco says. You might not want to face your family or have to explain why your partner isn't present, but keep in mind why it needed to end and don't let anyone make you feel bad about the timing.

"Breaking up is always difficult and there is no good time to do it," Bennett says. "If the relationship is truly over, then you don’t have to feel guilty ending it over the holidays." Instead, rest assured you ended well, and try to move on from there.

Experts:

Jonathan Bennett, a relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist

Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, a licensed psychotherapist

 You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer.

  If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

 Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

 LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Sex and Intimacy Workshops

Sex and Intimacy Workshops

Sex and Intimacy Workshops for Couples and Singles

Finally…sex and intimacy workshops for couples and singles are being held in September. Two workshops will be held at Middletown and Rocky Hill, CT locations.

There are several components to having a healthy relationship with ourselves and others, and amazing sex is one factor.

Across the genders, everyone wants and craves sex and intimacy. Whether we are married or single or in some unclassifiable state in between.

According to multiple studies, sex boosts happiness, because it makes people feel more satisfied with their significant other and with their selves.

If your sex life has fizzled out and you're having trouble getting it back on track, you and your partner might consider attending our Sex and Intimacy Workshops. Additionally, talking with a Certificated Sex Coach is another option if you prefer on-site sessions, text or video chat therapy.

My colleague, Dr. Sara Frawley, and I will present two workshops in September about dating, cultural shame, codependency, self love, and the Erotic Anatomy

Sex and Intimacy Workshops:

For Singles - The Sex Ed You Never Got in High School

Join us to get a refresher course on erogenous anatomy, discuss applying a Zen philosophy to dating, and explore different aspects of human sexuality. 

Date/Time: Wednesday, September 18th at 6:30 p.m

Location: Middlesex Community College (Chapman Hall Room 808), 100 Training Hill Rd, Middletown, CT

Cost:  $30 each

Register at Eventbrite

For Couples - The Sex Ed You Never Got in High School 

Join us to explore those burning relationship questions and take your relationship to the next level. 

Date/Time:  Sunday, September 22nd at 2:30 p.m

Location: The Barre CT, 412 Cromwell Ave., Rocky Hill, CT

Cost:  $35 per couple

Register at Eventbrite

Facebook Event

Tickets include light refreshments, Kava Kava ‘cocktails’ and all the supplies needed for a great class. For more information please call Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) at (203) 293-7293 or email us at: info@lcatllc.com 

 

About the Sex and Intimacy Webinar Educators

Sara B. Frawley

Sara B. Frawley

Sara B. Frawley is a Naturopathic Doctor (ND), a chemist, and a human biology professor. Dr. Frawley is the owner of Ground Force Medicine in Wallingford and Cromwell, CT, as well as the founder of Ground Force Supplements.

Amanda Pasciucco

Sex and Intimacy Workshops

Amanda Pasciucco is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and has certification as a Sex Therapist from the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT). She is a national sexuality educator, and the practice owner of Life Coaching and Therapy in West Hartford, CT.

 

Few of us know everything about sex, however, here's your chance to learn more.

Please join Sara B. Frawley, ND and Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT at these two amazing Sex and Intimacy Workshops.

 

Amanda Pasciucco

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

If you know someone who would benefit from sex, intimacy and relationship knowledge, feel free to send them a link to Amanda’s YouTube channel – The Sex Healer

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Open Relationships

Open Relationship - Get Ready, Get Set, Go For It!

 Open Relationship - Get Ready, Get Set, Go For It!

 

I’m excited to announce that I did an interview last Monday with The New York Times on open relationship trends! (I will post the article once it is published.)

I am beyond excited to be one of the millennial pioneers revolutionizing how we embrace all types of sexual and romantic relationships! 

As many of you may know from my article on polyamory, times are changing and monogamy is not the only style of relationship that couples are considering. 

According to a study in 2017, it is estimated that about one in five people have been in a consensually non-monogamous relationship at some point in their life. That is over 20% of Americans! 

With our changing times, I expect that number to keep rising. 

Open RelationshipSCORE CARD. We are only using A’s for results! 

  • If you scored 0 A’s - Go out and find a willing partner! Maybe your partner isn’t ready, then you have a choice to make on whether or not you wait for them to get ready or not. 
  • If you scored 1 - 3 A’s - a few tweaks is all you need. You may not realize it, but you may have a compulsive avoidance, anxious attachment, or you may be wanting to use an open relationship as a way to get “high” to take away the pain of something else. 
  • If you scored 4 or more on the left side A column, I do NOT suggest you go into an open relationship at this time. These statements can OFTEN be signs that you are not emotionally intelligent enough to understand your own needs. You may not know how to do your own inner work yet. You may get incredibly confused, because you are projecting fantasies onto others.

Common Pitfalls in Open Relationships

  • Lack of Honesty and Trust Issues
  • Inability to See One’s Addiction / Trauma 
  • Self-Centeredness
  • Communication Issues
  • Jealousy, Envy, and Insecurity
  • Family Conflicts (who do you do holidays with?)
  • Overcoming Social Norms (what happens when you only get a plus 1 to the wedding?)
  • Limitation of Partners (you can’t find anyone and your partner already has someone)
  • And More! 

Healthy relationships take TWO or MORE people who have integrity, honesty, creativity, willingness to be vulnerable, and ability to engage in their own Inner Growth and Non-Defensiveness. Sometimes a Sex Coach is needed to understand these changes and address them in the right direction.

Before you transition from monogamy to polyamory in a current partnership, make sure you understand the story each of you will have about a shared meaning when it comes to sex and love with other people. 

Sometimes we project shame from our sexual past into our sexual future with our monogamous partners. For example, you may become annoyed that your partner is frequently insecure about their body (their penis is too small or their vulva is ugly). This is usually an indicator that you have some blind spots to work on prior to adding another person to your sexual and loving relationship. 

You cannot directly fix your partner’s insecurity.

You can only change the system of how you respond to the stimulus of your “partner’s insecurity.” 

So if you are capable of fixing your own issues within your partner’s problems, then you may be ready for an open relationship!  

Below are strategic considerations for those participating in an open relationship: 

Open Relationships

Time is a Limited Resource

Love is not limited. Time is though. No matter what, every single one of us only has 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

In practice, your time allocation could be that you make four hours for each partner per week without phones. You could also attend an event with one partner one week, and then another event with another partner the week after. 

Sexual Education 

You have to understand safe sex due to the sexual-health considerations of open relationships. 

You are ready for an open relationship from a sexual education standpoint if you have:

  • The ability to fully discuss sexually transmitted infection status (for example: herpes type 1 vs type 2, hpv, PReP status)
  • Prepared to discuss in detail the act of Fluid Bonding (defined as a safer-sex strategy in which committed partners agree to have unprotected sex only with one another and to use barriers and/or stick to low-risk sexual behaviors with all of their other partners). 
  • The grace of how to discuss what is sexually sacred, and what are the sexual boundaries with both your new partner and your metamour (your partner’s partner). Because NOTHING is private anymore when you are polyamorous. You are part of one big happy family! 
  • Understanding of the term "New Relationship Energy (NRE)”.It is the intense feelings that may accompany the “honeymoon” phase of a new connection. This is sometimes also called “limerence.” You must check yourself while falling in love with the new person and remind yourself “this is not real, these are hormones.” Phenylethylamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin are the same hormones that you also find in serial monogamists or those practicing tantra. 

Communication Strategies

  1. Right Timing 

Implement email instead of texting when it comes to communicating important topics. It is too much to receive alarming text messages in the middle of a thread of memes. Here is an example email:

Open RelationshipsThe goal is that you learn how to ask consent while stating your needs. 

Once you get to that conversation, set a timer for 30 minutes! Make sure to disengage electronics! Do not discuss it ahead of time. Show them that you can practice patience. 

If you cannot wait 5-7 days to discuss your needs, you are not ready to be in an open relationship. In the variety of open relationships that I have tried, I find that it is mostly about waiting for someone. I had to remain centered while listening to things that I didn’t want to hear without getting triggered or responding. Then, I had to reflect back what I thought I heard to the best of my ability. If I was told “that wasn’t it” then I had to start over.

It takes a ton of patience and willingness to communicate effectively. 

2. Use A Compassionate Tone

Watch your tone intention in the beginning of all emails. “I mean this with loving eyes” or “I know you are improving and I still have another request based on my need to connect.” 

Notice the difference between “you let me down and broke a promise again” and “a part of me is hurt and feels let down by you breaking our commitment.” 

3. Observation Without Attitude

Example: saying “I noticed you left the plate in the sink. Did that mean anything to you?” sounds different than “it is so annoying when you leave your plate in the sink.”

A good way to practice polyamory is to ensure that EVERYONE in the partnership / poly family is mindful of the needs that polyamory is satisfying in each of their own lives. 

For example, we all have a need for connection. You can meet that need through monogamy or polyamory. Understanding how polyamory fulfills your needs in addition to connection (certainty, uncertainty, significance, growth, and contribution) is critical. 

Understanding your needs is critical to discussing conversations around relationship orientation (polyamory, swinging) and/or sexuality. 

4. Willingness To Be Flexible And Collaborative!

Start asking your partner once a week what you can do to meet THEIR needs better and address the feedback in the upcoming week. 

If you aren’t willing to extend yourself for just one partner now, you will not be able to manage polyamory dating, let alone a polyamorous community. 

Open relationships are for those who are interested in living life a bit differently. You will constantly be faced with multiple opportunities to meet the needs of partners, so make sure your time management is on point! 

So if you are interested in getting help before you begin your open relationship journey, text us at 203-733-9600. 

If you know someone who would benefit from this knowledge, feel free to end the stigma around open relationships and send them a link to my YouTube channel - The Sex Healer

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Couples Cure text therapy program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


LMFT jobs

LMFT Jobs

LMFT Jobs, LCSW Jobs & LPC Jobs available immediately in West Hartford, CT!

Do you know someone who needs a change of careers? 

Do you know anyone who is a licensed therapist and had enough of the clinic life? 

Well...we are growing!

If you are committed to growing and creating a new future with our team, we may have the perfect opportunity for you in West Hartford, CT.

Amanda Pasciucco
Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST. Founder and Owner of LCAT

When Life Coaching and Therapy started in 2013, I never imagined we could have changed so many lives in such a short period of time.

We have helped thousands of individuals and couples transform their sex lives and relationships. 

You may have the skill set that we need to continue our great work and results. 

Passion is a main theme for every staff member at Life Coaching and Therapy. 

LMFT Jobs and More - Licensed in CT - Available Positions for Immediate Hire!

Our therapy team includes life coaches, national educators, sex therapists, and queer and kink-friendly professionals. We also specialize in same-sex relationships, gender reassignment, and non-monogamous relationship orientations.

 

"In my three years of working at LCAT I have learned so much. There are many benefits to working in private practice, especially at LCAT! I have flexibility in my schedule, an office space ready for me, biweekly pay, no billing headaches, and a referral list already waiting for me!

We have a great therapy team that has monthly meetings and check ins. Although we are private contractors, we still are dedicated to each other’s growth.

Amanda, the owner, is so committed to change, growth, innovation and creativity. She values all of our different skill sets and ensures each of us feels secure and supported in the practice."

-Nicole Scrivano, LMFT

 

“Thanks for these past months. You’ve been so much more than my boss. You have been one of the most delightful personalities I’ve come across, and I’m so grateful that we developed such a close relationship.

I learned more about the realm of human sexuality through getting to know your life and helping you realize your dreams. Not only have you enriched my life, but you have thoroughly supported mine even when I went through some dark times this year. Thank you so much for the time we’ve had up to now.”

-Gabrielle Le, Ex-Executive Assistant

 

Dedication to advocacy and contributing is part of what makes us LOVE our careers!

Life Coaching and Therapy has tons of clients who have relationship issues and trauma histories that need your licensed clinical skill set.

We strive to provide an identity-affirming environment to all. We are excited to have you consider being a part of this amazing therapy practice.

If you believe that sexuality and pleasure can be healing, and you are open to joining a future vision, we would love for you to apply below.

Learn more about the available LMFT jobs, and if you feel you are the right fit with LCAT,  apply soon. We have two open positions and they will not be available for long.

LMFT jobs


family systems theory

Family Systems Theory – What is it?

Family Systems Theory – What is it?

Family Systems Theory grew out of old-school psychotherapy.

Why do we do it and why should you? 

Do you ever think your issue comes from your family? 

So did the founders of systems theory back in the day! 

Do you notice that when someone in your family is in a better mood, then you can be in a better mood too? 

It’s almost like we all work together in our family to help nurture each other’s temperaments and responses. 

The founder of family systems theory, Murray Bowen, MD, realized that no therapy issue could be treated outside the context in which it was located. 

Family systems theory promotes the interrelationship of everything to everything else. 

Family systems theory works for couples as well as families! 

How often do we think about the things that make our family the way it is?

How often do we consider how we affect our romantic partner? 

Family systems therapy is based on the idea that each family (or couple) is a unique social system with its own structure and patterns of communication. 

Each family member is impacted by the family system. As a result, a change in one member of the family will affect the family system and the other family members.

If you can get into see a licensed marriage and family therapist, or someone trained in family systems theory, you WILL find the key to long-lasting change. This type of approach is amazing!

Why Family Systems Therapy is Effective

Family therapy can be very effective for any family where one or more members is experiencing emotional distress.

Families dealing with these issues especially may benefit from family therapy: 

  • An eating disorder
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Trauma
  • Families with a high degree of conflict
  • Families with poor communication skills
  • Religious conflicts
  • Values conflicts
  • Divorce
  • Remarriage

How Family Systems Therapy Works 

During family systems therapy, the family works individually and together to resolve a problem that directly affects one or more family members.

Each member has the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings about how they are affected.

So together, the family works to help the individual in distress. 

This approach will help relieve the strain on the family. 

The family learns ways to support and help each other with the goal of restoring family relationships and rebuilding a healthy family system.

Family Systems Theory

These are some of our favorite concepts from Bowen’s Systems Theory:

Emotional Triangles 

In Bowen’s theory, a triangle – a relationship between three people – is the smallest stable relationship unit.

A frequent scenario found in emotional triangles is that two people are in agreement with each other and the third is in conflict with them. This can lead to emotional problems for the person in conflict with the others.

Differentiation of Self 

In family systems theory, differentiation of self refers to a person’s sense of identity and ability to function on their own, rather than as a member of a group.

It can be someone with a low level of differentiation or with a high level of differentiation, both need to reconnect with the group without losing their personal and individual essence.

Family Projection Process 

The family projection process is the process by which parents transfer their worries, anxieties, and other emotional problems to their children.

The family projection process can lead to children inheriting their parents’ emotional problems and anxieties from birth! This frequently comes out when you get to your first romantic relationship though!  

Multigenerational Transmission Process

In family systems theory, the multigenerational transmission process means family patterns repeat through generations.

Sibling Position

Many are familiar with this concept that focuses on development due to birth order. 

  • The oldest is the one that would inherit the kingdom and with the most responsibility. 
  • Middle children often grow up to be peacemakers, able to work well with most people.
  • Youngest often become the light-hearted one, the comedian, with a great sense of humor
  • Each child’s sibling position significantly influences the person they eventually become. 

Conclusion

Your family of origin has an impact on who you are and the relationships that you have. 

If you have never considered a family systems therapist or a licensed marriage therapist, you are missing out on the miracles that can happen! 

The most important thing when having problems, especially if you have a willing immediate family system, is to contact a professional trained in this therapy! 

 

Family Systems Theory

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Female sex therapist

Female Sex Therapist

Female Sex Therapist

 

Why see a female sex therapist?

Because who runs the world? Girls! [thanks Beyoncé!]

There are many reasons people call us and have a gender preference when it comes to choosing a therapist, here are a few:

 

  1. First and foremost, people sometimes feel more comfortable speaking about intimate topics with a particular gendered therapist.

 

  1. In our sex-saturated market, sometimes you may forget that sex is still a taboo topic. A lot of people mention that sometimes a female sex therapist is more comfortable to talk about “taboos” with.

 

  1. Many famous sex therapists struggled to find their place in the world. Even today, they are often met with resistance or criticism, but persist in spite of the challenges. Dr. Ruth helped with that and now many people associate sex therapists with a female sex therapist!

 

You can absolutely ask for a therapist of a specific sex or gender. In fact, when filling in most of the intake paperwork, you will see that our practice will ask if you have a preference for pronouns.

We know that seeking help from a professional isn’t easy, yet we are SO happy you did!

Our staff contains life coaches, national educators, sex therapists, and queer and kink-friendly professionals. We also specialize in same-sex relationships, gender reassignment, and non-monogamous relationship orientations.

 

Meet our team of female sex therapists

 

Amanda Pasciucco owner female sex therapist

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT,AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Amanda is a marriage and family therapist, a certified sex therapist, and she is obsessed with helping couples find the spark between them!

If you have this certain sense that there MUST be something more… let me be your guide. I know what that something more is. Let’s work together to create that new and amazing life you have dreamt of. I specialize in sensate focus sex therapy, intimacy education, and life coaching.

 

Treatment Approach

  •        Attachment-based
  •        Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
  •        Compassion Focused
  •        Culturally Sensitive
  •        EMDR
  •        Intimacy Education
  •        Life Coaching
  •        Family / Marital
  •        Text Therapy
  •        Strength-Based
  •        Trauma Focused

 

Elizabeth Sesto, LPC, Holistic Sex Education

sex therapist, Hartford CT, couples therapy, couples, marriage, relationships

“I believe that problems arise when there is a disconnect between the mind, body, and spirit. I incorporate mindfulness strategies along with cognitive and dialectical behavioral therapies.” - Liz

Liz is a licensed professional counselor who has been working in the field since 2010.

She has her Masters’ Degree in clinical mental health counseling from the University of Saint Joseph. She also has a certificate in holistic sex therapy from the Institute of Sexuality Education and Enlightenment.

Elizabeth has experience working with adolescents and adults specifically in the areas of sexuality, sexual orientation, relationship issues, sexual dysfunction, gender identity, self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and trauma.

 

Treatment Approach

  •        Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
  •        Modular Approach
  •        Trauma or conduct problems (MATCH-ADTC)
  •        Motivational interviewing (MI)
  •        Empowerment (TREM)
  •        Reiki 1 Master
  •        Trauma Recovery
  •        Children with anxiety

 

Stef Harris, LCSW

stephanie harris, stef harris, lcsw, Hartford CT, couples therapy, life coaching, low libido, marriage, relationships, sexQualifications

  •        Years in Practice: 12 Years
  •        School: Smith College School for Social Work
  •        Year Graduated: 2007
  •        License and State: 07658 Connecticut
  •        License No. and State: CT Department of Education

 

Stef is a licensed clinical social worker who has dedicated her life to assist others, like you, to be the best person you can be!

She believes that one of her biggest assets revolves around having lived experience identifying and healing from the losses, heartaches, unfairness, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, and fear that arise from time-to-time in the most beautiful gift called life.

 

Treatment Approach

  •        Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
  •        Culturally Sensitive
  •        Family / Marital
  •        Family Systems
  •        Feminist
  •        Integrative
  •        Motivational Interviewing
  •        Multicultural
  •        Narrative
  •        Person-Centered
  •        Psychodynamic
  •        Strength-Based
  •        Trauma Focused

 

Tiffany Torok, LCSW

sex therapist, Hartford CT, couples therapy, couples, marriage, relationshipsQualifications

  •        Years in Practice: 5 Years
  •        School: Southern Connecticut State University
  •        Year Graduated: 2013
  •        License and State: 9526 Connecticut

 

Tiffany is a licensed clinical social worker and a no-nonsense therapist who utilizes humor, wit, honesty, and sometimes some coaching / challenging feedback.

Her aim is to guide people in the direction of acceptance and love of self regardless of the "norms" that society has placed upon them.

Rather than focusing on "labels" or "diagnoses" that may have been given to you in the past, She focused on the symptoms that are currently causing the most stress in your life and the roots of those symptoms to prevent them from returning in the future.

 

Treatment Approach

 

  •        Types of Therapy
  •        Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
  •        Eclectic
  •        Family / Marital
  •        Mindfulness-Based (MBCT)
  •        Motivational Interviewing
  •        Prolonged Exposure Therapy
  •        Psychodynamic
  •        Strength-Based

Jennifer R. Walker, LMFT

couples sex counseling, couples sex therapy near me, couples intimacy workshops, sex therapy, couples counseling, marriage counseling near me, sex therapy, imagoQualifications

  •        Years in Practice: 9 Years
  •        School: Pepperdine University
  •        Year Graduated: 2011
  •        License and State: 2081 Connecticut
  •        Certificate: EMDR Institute / EMDR Basic Training

Jennifer utilizes a mindful, nonjudgmental and client-centered approach in therapy as she believes that the client/therapist relationship is the foundation for creating positive changes.

Areas of focus include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship/family issues.

She is trained in EMDR and specialize in LGBTQ+, introverts, and highly sensitive persons.

She offers a genuine, warm and nonjudgmental approach to therapy.

It is vital that you feel safe and supported while seeking the help you need, and it is Jennifer’s mission to provide that safe space for you to begin healing.

 

Treatment Approach

  •        Attachment-based
  •        Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
  •        Compassion Focused
  •        Culturally Sensitive
  •        EMDR
  •        Eclectic
  •        Existential
  •        Family / Marital
  •        Family Systems
  •        Humanistic
  •        Motivational Interviewing
  •        Person-Centered
  •        Psychodynamic
  •        Strength-Based
  •        Trauma Focused

 

Nicole Scrivano, LMFT

sex therapist, Hartford CT, couples therapy, couples, marriage, relationshipsQualifications

  •        Years in Practice: 6 Years
  •        School: University of Connecticut
  •        Year Graduated: 2013
  •        License and State: 001688 Connecticut
  •        Certificate: National Child Stress Network / TF-CBT Certified
  •        Membership: EMDRIA

 

Nicole is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in relationships, trauma, and identity (sexuality and gender - LGBTQ+).

She tries to support individuals to work towards healing and being their full selves. Nicole is person-centered, intersectional, identity affirming therapist trained in a variety of models to support her clients unique needs.

She believes in identity affirmative approaches to support each person in her office to feel safe and supported regardless of what their presenting concern may be.

She focuses on empowering others on their journey in therapy to help with presenting symptoms.

 

Treatment Approach

  •        Attachment-based
  •        Coaching
  •        Cognitive Behavioral (CBT)
  •        Culturally Sensitive
  •        Dialectical (DBT)
  •        EMDR
  •        Emotionally Focused
  •        Experiential Therapy
  •        Family / Marital
  •        Family Systems
  •        Feminist
  •        Humanistic
  •        Integrative
  •        Multicultural
  •        Narrative
  •        Person-Centered
  •        Relational
  •        Solution Focused Brief (SFBT)
  •        Strength-Based
  •        Structural Family Therapy
  •        Supervision Services
  •        Trauma Focused

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (L-CAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training, we transform intimate lives!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Text Therapy - A New Therapy Method

Text Therapy – A New Solution to Repair Relationships

Text therapy works well for people who are very busy, have social anxiety, or need frequent and faster help.  Additionally, it can be for people who generally prefer text communication.

Text therapy is private, easily accessible, and provides a written record of your most intimate conversations so you have a history right at your fingertips.

Sometimes life gets incredibly difficult and your support system isn’t there when you need it the most. With text therapy, a therapist can be there when you need help more quickly than with traditional on-site appointments, which can be booked up for weeks in advance.

Text therapy is a viable solution that is becoming an increasingly popular method for delivering therapy treatment. Now there are several HIPAA-compliant texting applications available that keep conversations private and secure. Additionally, texting has become a common and accepted method of communication.  

Companies like Betterhelp or TalkSpace have made this alternative therapy method an expansive business as seen in the article: A growing wave of online therapy

Many people feel shame, rejection, or even fear about what others might think, and asking for help in person may add to their anxiety. Text therapy gives you the freedom to pick up your phone and ask for what you need.

On the other hand, there are cases where text therapy is not enough. Some clients need use their body language and vocal tone to effectively communicate with a therapist. They might not be willing to adjust to text therapy. People need in-person psychotherapy or in-person mental health care if they have severe mental health conditions that make them a danger to themselves or others. Text therapy can be an effective supplemental resource for these people, but it is not enough on its own.

text therapy

How Does Text Therapy Work?

It can be your key to change and transform your life by improving your relationships, communications, intimacy and sex life. I have utilized text therapy for years, and it has enabled me to transform my clients’ relationships and improve their confidence.

Here is an example of a text discussion I had recently with a couple – all private health information has been covered:


I have helped a variety of diverse clients work through their problems like affairs, infertility, and self-confidence building. We accomplished this through text therapy, and working as a team!  This form of therapy teaches patience, and gives you time to stop and think about your words, their impact on others, and what you really feel.

I highly recommend this method for those of you who are extra anxious and may suffer from social anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier when you aren’t face-to-face. Text therapy is also very helpful when you are away from home, such as on a vacation, or traveling for work.

Grab your phone and say yes to freedom from time constraints and awkward “how do you feel” questions!

Deep breadth! I know this is a lot to hear. I feel you! Especially with the stress of work, student loans, and intimacy issues, which often happen all at once.

Over the past 10 years as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have learned that all of us experience patterns of stress and feeling unfulfilled.

“Connection is one of our basic human needs, because it provides us with passion, vitality and wellness.” - Amanda Pasciucco

Let’s get one step closer to success and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Does that sound like a relief? Does it make you as hopeful as it makes me?

We can get through this.

Text therapy techniques have transformed lives and helped my clients with issues such as: eating disorders, sexless marriages, trauma and depression.

There’s a simple method I follow daily with text therapy for clients that are in need of more frequent help. Sometimes texting sessions take five minutes and sometimes they may take an hour.

90-Day Couples Makeover Program

Text therapy practice, along with many other certified sex therapy skills and body exercises, are central to my 90-Day Couples Makeover.

When we finish the 90-Day Couples Makeover program, my clients feel hope and become more confident in their choices.  It is perfect for you if:

  • You are ready for a more balanced personal and professional life
  • Your relationship or other life issues need immediate attention
  • You and your partner are too busy to get to on-site therapy sessions

Are you curious? Would you like to try text therapy?

I personally guarantee your satisfaction with the program, or I will refund your fee.

I utilize a HIPAA-compliant text app so our conversations are private and secure.

This Summer is a Great Time to Work on Your Relationship – For Individuals or Couples!

You better hurry, there are only four spots left in my 90-Day Couples Makeover program for individuals and/or couples over summer.

Please complete our Make an Appointment form, and I am happy to do a free, quick consult call to explain the program and see if we fit together.

Sending you all my love and creative visions!

Live Passionately,

 

Amanda Pasciucco

LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Founder, Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT)

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Certified Sex Therapist

A Certified Sex Therapist Can Solve Difficult Intimacy Problems

Have you ever heard of a certified sex therapist? This is a licensed mental health professional with clinical experience in individual and couples’ sexual issues and low desire. In the absence of available licensure for a sex therapist, certified sex therapists have steep requirements.

Certified sex therapists work with all sexual and identity concerns, even the most intimate fantasies. Rarely are other therapists capable of providing comprehensive and intensive psychotherapy over an extended period of time with these types of complex cases.

Becoming a certified sex therapist takes a significant time and education commitment! Some students assume they’ll be a sex therapist right after college. I thought the same thing when I was 19. However, certified sex therapists have to earn a minimum of a graduate degree, pass a mental health exam and acquire a department of public health license. Additionally, certification requires thousands of clinical hours. It took me eight years of course work, client engagements, and supervision to become a certified sex therapist. Each state has its own set of requirements about who can obtain a counseling or therapy license. A certified sex therapist must have this license before practicing in the sex therapy field. You'll also need to pass a background check.

AASECT Professional Organization

The main organization for this field is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). It is an interdisciplinary professional organization including marriage and family therapists, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and sociologists. AASECT’s vision for certified sex therapists is that they promote the understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior. You can also find a certified sex therapist in your area on the website at: https://www.aasect.org/

Understand Your Sex Therapist's Credentials Before You Schedule an Appointment

Unfortunately, anyone can claim to be a sex coach, sex educator, or even a sex therapist with NO training. Many therapists do not have certified sex therapist supervisor training, or formal certification and education in sexuality or sexual health. These therapists believe the topic is interesting, and base their treatment on personal experiences rather than on education, training, and research. Be sure to ask your therapist for his/her specific training and education before you address sex-related issues.

What is Certified Sex Therapist Training?

AASECT provides the highest level of expertise. The training is rigorous and specialized in sexuality, sexual health and sexual dysfunctions. The following credentials and training are required in order to become a AASECT-certified sex therapist:

  • Licensed mental health condition specializing in psychotherapy
  • 300 clinical hours treating patients that present with sexual concerns as the primary problem
  • 50 hours of supervision/consultation with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
  • 90 education hours in Human Sexuality
  • 60 hours in Specialty Training in Sex Therapy
  • 10 hours in a Sexual Attitude Reassessment Seminar to examine one’s feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regarding sexuality and sexual behavior

    Certified Sex Therapist
    Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

There are less than 15 certified sex therapists in Connecticut. I’m Amanda Pasciucco, and I am one of them! I am an AASECT board certified sex therapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a clinical sexologist.

I have my masters from the University of Connecticut in Human Development and Family Studies. I’ve been an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 2015, and an AASECT Certified Continuing Education Provider since 2018. Also, I am the founder of Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) located in West Hartford, CT.

Focusing on low-desire, pleasure-enhancement, and sexual skill-building techniques has been part of my practice for years. Some of the certified sex therapist interventions that we utilize at LCAT include:

LCAT Satisfied Clients

Here are what some of my clients have said:

AL L.

“After an upsetting breakup back in 2015. I was having a lot of emotions and decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t my family or a close friend.

At the time, I found Amanda on a website with a list of local therapists. It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life.

Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all.

I’ve gained so many valuable lessons  related to: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more. My relationships with myself, my family, and romantic partners have all benefited. These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance.

Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. I am currently in a healthy relationship, and I am practicing everything I’ve learned.  I still like to check in with Amanda periodically, because life likes to keep you on your toes and you never stop growing! P.S. I love supporting a strong, female entrepreneur like Amanda.

I’m always impressed with the ways she and her team continue to innovate on ways they can reach and help others.”

Gary B.

“If you are just starting out in a relationship and want to build a solid foundation of love, or you want to rekindle the flames of love that seem to be smoldering - you need Amanda Pasciucco.

Amanda has the skills knowledge and a passion for her work. She can bring you to high level of communication through gazing exercises. You’ll get a feeling of what it’s like to look into your lovers’ heart and soul. Through breathing exercises, Amanda can teach how you can accomplish the feeling of oneness in your relationship. If you’re struggling with communication, problems with intimacy, or whatever it is, there is no one better or as skilled as Amanda.

A few sessions with Amanda and you will feel blessed for the opportunity to work with her. Amanda can also help you with dating sites. She helped me find the love of my life, who I now call my wife. If you want the best call Amanda Pasciucco - The Sex Healer!”

Brittany M.

“Amanda has literally saved my marriage. Before working with Amanda, I was scared that our relationship was going to fail. I now KNOW that we not only are going to make it, but we ENJOY our relationship. I don't even want to think about where my husband and I would be without her.” #besttherapistever

One of the most important lessons that I can teach you is how to receive pleasure without shame! I can use any of the therapy models in traditional on-site sessions, or you can try my new, accelerated text therapy program for individuals or couples.

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Latin sex therapist

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples Sex Counseling

Couples sex counseling is a powerful type of therapy that can enable couples to work through issues and transform their relationships. Most of us have not had much training or education in relationships and sex, yet these areas are critical to maintaining happy and fulfilling lives. This is why counseling can be a very valuable tool.

Couples Counseling

Why Try Couples Sex Counseling?

 

Have you ever considered going to couples sex counseling? Couples sex counseling benefits those who want to improve the quality of their sex life, regain intimacy and ignite passion in their lives. Counseling can address many other issues that impact a relationship, for example:

  • Low sexual self-esteem
  • Traumas
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional distance
  • Jealousy
  • Infidelity
  • Lack of trust
  • Family conflicts

 

If you or your partner are interested in going to a professional, you need to trust your therapist. He or she is not there to benefit one client and blame the other.

 

Couples Sex Counseling Method

 

At Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT), we utilize the PLISSIT model.This is a system used in the field of clinical sexology to determine the different levels of intervention for clients. The PLISSIT model offers a succinct method for introducing sex into a clinical conversation, narrowing the scope of a patient’s concern and offering effective counseling and treatment. Its name is derived from the four levels of the model: permission, limited information, specific suggestions, and intensive therapy. (source: www.psychiatryadvisor.com)

 

Our clients go home and try different techniques to work on their sexual issue. The issues we work on with our clients can include: erectile dysfunction, pelvic pain, low desire, no desire, or desire discrepancy.

 

Asking for Help is Not Failing!

 

If you believe that going to couples sex counseling is a sign of failure, think again!  Sex involves intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual perspectives, which can make it very complex. Physical, psychological, and emotional issues all directly affect our sexuality.

 

Being comfortable enough to ask your partner specific questions about what he or she needs and likes is essential to having amazing sex! For instance, ask your partner "Do you like this level of pressure?"

 

Sex can be complicated. Sex can be wonderful. However you may experience new problems due to unresolved sex issues.

 

What Can Couples Sex Counseling do for You?

 

Change the perspective of the relationship

 

The therapist encourages both partners to see their relationship in a more objective way, including from each other's perspective.

 

Improve communication

 

Many couples have difficulties, and many are not able to reach practical solutions. Only by discussing their problems can couples start to fix them. Our therapy process and Amanda’s 90-Day Couples Makeover promote a constructive, respectful dialogue where couples can openly express their emotions and ideas. We enable clients to communicate more effectively and listen more attentively.

 

Build on the strengths of the relationship

 

It is better for couples to focus on the positives in their relationship. For this purpose, the therapist can act as a mediator to help rediscover common interests and help the couple create the relationship for a better future. One technique couples sex counselors use is to encourage intimacy through erotic writing, cuddling, date nights, sexual acts and gift giving.

 

At Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) we help you get the life you want, and the results you desire related to passion, connection, and growth. Through our flexible, multi-technique approach (DBT, CBT, EMDR) and pleasure skills training (tantra, the science of sex, and sensate focus techniques), we transform our clients lives!

 

Please learn more about how Life Coaching & Therapy (LCAT) can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.


Sex Education Netflix Series Review (REAL THERAPIST REACTS!)

Sex Education Netflix Series Review (REAL THERAPIST REACTS!)

 

Within the first week that this came out, SIX people told me to watch this! And I'm so glad I did. It gave a fun, yet deep spin on topics that may be embarrassing to those who experience it and opened conversation on how to deal with these matters. I enjoyed every minute of watching the characters interact with each other and see them grow throughout season 1! If you want to see my reaction on specific scenes, go ahead and click the link on my profile to find it! If you haven't watched the series, I encourage that you do! I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

Sex Education from Netflix! I will give my Netflix Sex Education reaction. I will dive into some themes from Netflix Sex Education! If you’re looking for a Netflix Sex Education Review, watch this video! I react to scenes from Sex Education Episode 1, and many other parts of the season! Don’t miss this review for Sex Education Netflix! You’ll want some insight from my Sex Education Episode 1 reaction! I ain't called the Sex Healer for nothing!