A Parent’s Guide On Teenagers Sex Education

A Parent’s Guide On Teenagers Sex Education

 

As a parent, your responsibility is to prepare your child for adulthood as much as possible, including teenagers sex education. After all, it’s completely normal for your teenager to have many questions and a lot of thoughts about sex education, so it’s vital to approach this topic maturely. Even allow your child to ask you everything that’s on their mind and respond to them without shame!

Keep in mind that teens who have frequent and open conversations with their parents about sex will more likely step into sexual activities when they are older. Similarly, they will be protecting themselves from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when they become sexually active. 

If you wish to be the biggest influence in your teenager’s decisions about sex, you should start planning these conversations and make sure they feel comfortable enough to come to you with their questions as well. 

Prepare Yourself

In all honesty, accepting that your teenagers sex education at school won’t be enough and it’s on you is not easy. As parents, we often continue seeing them as too vulnerable for the real world, and that’s why you need to prepare yourself if you wish to avoid confusing your teen even more. 

What are your personal values and beliefs about sex? What is something that you want to share with your teen? 

Ask yourself about what you have learned from your first sexual experiences and which mistakes you would wish they avoid making. 

If this conversation is uncomfortable for you, make sure you are well prepared and see a sex therapist or sex educator first.

Include in your conversation information about protections such as birth control and condoms, STIs, and everything else that might be important for them. 

Think about this as the first step to building a mature relationship with your teen where you will start discussing topics you never have before. 

Start the Sex Talk First

It would be really good if you would be the one starting this conversation so you can dedicate your full attention to it. They might ask you some questions before you decide to sit with them and have the ‘big talk’, yet make sure you start it first as it will show you are open to discussing this topic and you’d love to hear your teen’s view on it. 

Make sure you have chosen a day where both you and your kid have enough time to dedicate to this conversation. When you’re ready, start the conversation casually and try to not make a big deal out of it. Remember, you should make this conversation about teenagers sex education the least uncomfortable that it can be for them. So, being uptight about it will not help at all! 

Guiding the Conversation

Your teen will probably have a few questions for you as well. Try to respond to your teenager accurately and straightforwardly. For instance, if they ask for a proper age to start having sexual relations, try not to get too philosophical about it. 

Instead, provide them with statistics in different countries, and then add your personal opinion if they want to know it. Literally, ask them “do you want to hear my opinions on this too, or just the statistics?” This models consent for your teenagers, which is so important when it comes to sex education. 

Keep in mind that your teenagers will form their own opinion about sex education as they go through life, so it’s vital to give them all information ahead of time. 

If you personally feel uncomfortable sharing some of your sexual experiences with your child, you can talk about it in the third person. If your teen asks a question you don’t know how to answer, be honest and invite them to look for that information together. 

Common Misconceptions Teens Have About Sex

When talking with your teenager, they will maybe share with you one or two of the common misconceptions teens have about sex. For instance, they might think that sex will make them appear more grown. 

Be supportive and offer alternative ways that might show them what it is like to be mature and responsible in their friends’ eyes. For instance, they can get a summer job or volunteer or start creating a YouTube channel.

If they want to have sex just because all of their friends are doing it, you can focus on things that make them unique and stand out from the crowd! 

Explain that not following every step their friends make is a good sign, and that they should start having sex when they feel desire. Teach them about healthy solo sex and look up websites like scarleteen.com, instead of having them compare to what their friends are doing. Also, make them aware that many lie about their sexual experiences and that on average, teenagers in the United States are having partnered sex at a later and later age. 

If they are in a relationship and they want to feel closer to their partner, ask about their motives behind it. For example, many teenagers will have sex because of fear of losing that person or being seen as “prude.” Teach your teenagers that there are many ways to show you love someone and sexual pleasure is more than just genitals touching. Also, share that consent is what matters most, and without it, it isn’t enjoyable, will not improve relationships, and will cause an impact. 

Safe Sex

As a parent, it’s your responsibility to inform your teen of sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, and any other consequences having unprotected sex can have for them. You don’t have to be a teenagers sex education expert to help your teen avoid these consequences; howeer, make sure you motivate them to learn about safe sex. 

Make sure they know they have to use protection once they start having sexual relations. Talk to them about pregnancy and how it changes life for a young person, so they are aware of all the outcomes of unprotected penetrative penis-vagina sex. Let them know that sexually transmitted infections happen from various partnered sexual acts. Also, make your teenagers aware that they are not alone in partnered sex, and their decisions on partnered sex involves another’s desires and preferences.

Conclusion

Your teenagers sex education will happen, one way or another. 

It’s best if you can be their source of information and help them shape their opinion on sex, so that porn doesn’t affect their sexual life later. Don’t assume they know something just because you do, or because it was online. Really, check your own biases, because this builds trust and connection. Allow your teenagers to ask you whatever they need and encourage them to start the sex talk at any time. 

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Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Couple’s Sex Toys: The Gift That Keeps Giving

Couple’s Sex Toys: The Gift That Keeps Giving

 

If you’re in a relationship, finding a few couple’s sex toys this holiday season is where it is at! Interestingly it’s a small investment that brings incredible benefits to your sexual wellness. If you’re assuming you know all there is to know, then please comment and give some ideas! 

We are used to spending hundreds of dollars on a treadmill, a new juicer, or anything else we believe that might benefit us in any way, so why not do the same when it comes to pleasure? Regardless of what you’re looking for in bed, you will find a toy that can help turn fantasies into a reality. 

Many toys out there have a diverse use, so you can truly make the most of them and start experimenting with different types of sexual pleasure during the season. 

To help you make the right choice, you will find the best couple’s sex toys on the market and tips on how to use them for maximum fun!

#1 Magic Wand Original

How can you expect to do some between-the-sheets magic without a magic wand? Many are saying it is their favorite vibrator, and what’s even more surprising is that this Hitachi Magic Wand has been on the market for over 50 years. It has two speeds, low and high, and is a great option for different pleasurable uses for both women and men. 

The Magic Wand Original comes with a 2.5-inch soft head and is completely bendable. All you have to do is to choose between the two speeds and this magic wand will help you relieve any type of stress you might have. With your partner, you can use its good vibrations to heat up the things between you two and give each other the sensations of your lifetime.

#2 We-Vibe Sync

This vibrator prouds itself to be the number one vibrator for couples. We-Vibe Sync is a cuff-shaped vibrator, and its top is shaped like a pancake ensuring it stimulates the clitoral part and a smaller vibrator that stimulates the G-spot while the couple is having sex.

The great thing about it is that the cuff will stay in the desired position preventing the device from slipping in and out during sex. If you and your partner are looking for sex toys that can be used in a pool or ocean, you’ll definitely want We-Vibe Sync as it’s completely waterproof. 

#3 We-Vibe Couples Massager

If you prefer stimulation over penetration, you will love the We-Vibe Couples Massager! It’s created to bring a lot of clitoral stimulation to partners with a vagina. The reason why this toy is so popular with heterosexual couples is that it can be used at any moment before, during, and even after sex. 

You can use it as a tool for foreplay, yet it can be perfect once you and your partner have both achieved orgasm, and you wish to start the second round. Nothing will get you going like a good, stimulative sex toy that both of you can use.

#4 Vesper Necklace

Okay, you will probably not be encouraged to walk around with the sex toy you and your partner just bought, right? What if that sex toy seemed like an elegant piece of jewelry hanging around your neck? Vesper Necklace is such a sex toy you’ll love to wear and it can also serve as a great conversation starter with new people. 

Choose between three colors and three suggestive phrases to be engraved on the necklace for a more personalized touch. And, once the vibrations of this beauty kick in, you and your sexual partner can drop any conversation you were having and go straight into the action.

 

#5 Trojan Vibrating Fingertip Personal Massager

If you enjoy the sensation of vibration, yet would prefer avoiding toys that are created for penetration, this toy is the right choice for you. The famous preservative company Trojan has designed an exciting vibrating fingertip massager that will go beyond your lover’s touch. With it, the couples can enjoy the boost of high-sensory titillation while at the same time staying connected. 

Its simple design allows you to create layers of excitement with just your hand going from one part of your partner’s body to another, including the erogenous zone and genitals. This personal massager is perfect for foreplay and during sex as it creates a complete explosion of pleasure!

#6 Starsi Silicone Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator By Cute Little Fuckers

This is truly a unisex toy, as it can be used by anybody, any gender, and orientation, and on any part of the body. This interesting sex toy can be used over the nipples, vulva, penis, neck, or anywhere else where you think there will be beneficial and provide pleasure to you or your partner. 

Based on the idea that our entire bodies are covered in nerve endings, this little star will blow your mind. As it touches your skin and moves around with your partner guiding it, it’s awesome. Explore each other’s bodies and find an erogenous zone where you never thought it exists.

#7 Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Vibrating Cock Ring

If you’re into sex toys, you have probably already tried one of the rings on the market. However, there is nothing like this little rabbit. It will add stimulation during sex with your partner and because of the base of the vibrating part, it brings incredible clitoris stimulation.

With its bunny ears, this sex toy definitely has some charm you’ll need to explore further. What’s interesting to most couples is that this ring can be used with a remote, so the partner who is wearing it can control the buzz of the ring. 

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Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

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LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

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Does Sex Relieve Stress: What Do Experts Say?

Does Sex Relieve Stress: What Do Experts Say?

 

Sex and stress are connected in many ways, however, does sex relieve stress? When a particularly stressful week or two saps our sex drive—or when we successfully utilize sex to reduce stress—the majority of us instinctively know this and feel it unambiguously. These instincts are supported by scientific research.

Stress and anxiety can be reduced by sex by releasing “feel good” hormones like oxytocin. These hormones aid in promoting calm and reducing anxiety.

Sex increases hormone levels and other brain chemicals and it lowers stress hormone levels.

Ways Sex Relieves Stress

Your body can relax during orgasm and produce many hormones that are beneficial to your general health and well-being. Similar to this, sex can increase dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is commonly referred to as the “feel-good chemical” since it amplifies positive emotions.

  • Increased Oxytocin. Because it is released during physical contacts, such as during affectionate caressing and sex between adult couples, as well as during pregnancy, birth, and lactation, oxytocin is referred to as the “love hormone.”
  • Increased Endorphins. Although endorphins are neurotransmitters, which are released during sexual activity, as well as other physical activity, such as running, and in response to pain. They can lower stress and elevate mood, much like oxytocin.
  • Reduced cortisol. The sexual activity appears to lower levels of adrenaline and cortisol, also referred to as “stress hormones,” just as it might increase chemicals with favorable benefits. 

Benefits of Sex on Your Health

Sex provides a lot of additional significant health advantages in addition to flooding your body with hormones that can help you feel less stressed, anxious, and worried. Numerous other aspects of sex help deal more efficiently with stress management.

Improves Your Mood

Positive distractions like sex can help you put anxious thoughts out of your head. In turn, this can lift one’s spirits both now and in the future. For instance, a study of married couples discovered that having sex was linked to feeling well the next day at work.

It is also found that stress and conflict in the workplace-family environment decreased the likelihood of sex. If you often have conflicts between your personal and professional lives, you might want to be aware of this.

You might question if sex, which improves mood, might also help manage depressive symptoms. Since both depression symptoms and therapies can contribute to a decrease in libido, the connection between sex and depression is complicated.

Better Brain Function

Sex may assist in keeping your mind sharp in addition to benefiting your body and mood. According to studies, older persons who had sex more regularly performed better on memory tests.

Strengthens the Relationship

Additionally, having sex deepens the intimacy you experience with your spouse, which lowers stress and elevates your mood. People tend to manage stress better, live longer, and have better overall health when they have a supportive social outlet, which may include a solid personal relationship.

Improves Sleep

According to research, sexual activity helps people sleep better. Specifically, having sex may make it easier for you to nod off and improve the quality of your sleep. Once more, hormones might be involved. Both sexual activity and better sleep are related to raised levels of oxytocin, prolactin, and cortisol, which can surge after an orgasm.

Improves Heart Health

Sex may also assist your heart health, which is another perk. Most research suggests that men who have sex twice a week are less likely to acquire the cardiovascular disease. Having sex should be safe as long as you can exercise without experiencing any heart issues for three to five metabolic equivalents (METs). These equivalents are a unit of measurement used to calculate the energy needed to complete an activity.

Improves Fertility

Experts have demonstrated that ejaculating frequently lessens sperm harm. They hypothesize that this occurs because there is a greater likelihood of DNA damage the longer sperm remains in the testes.

Solo Sex Benefits

Sex doesn’t have to happen between two people to enjoy its health benefits. Masturbation enables people to access an incredible wealth of sensations, information, and ultimately, benefits that go beyond an orgasm. After all, most of the reactions in your body that occur during sex with another person will appear when you are masturbating as well. So, if you heard from someone or somewhere that masturbation is bad for you, here is another reason to tell them otherwise. 

These are just some of the many benefits of masturbation:

  • releases sexual tension
  • reduces stress
  • helps you improve sleep quality
  • improves your self-esteem and body image
  • helps treat a range of sexual problems
  • relieves menstrual cramps and muscle tension
  • strengthens muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas

Masturbation also enables you to discover your sexual preferences. How would you like to be touched? How much pressure is comfortable? What speed or tempo? Learning to have orgasms on your own can make it simpler to do so with a partner since you can describe or demonstrate the pleasurable sensations to them. And, you are more likely to feel comfortable protecting yourself from STDs and unexpected pregnancy when comfortable with sex, your body, and communicating with your partner.

Some people experience guilt after masturbating because they learn as children that it is wrong or bad. Try to keep in mind that most people masturbate if you feel that way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and it is quite normal. If you struggle to overcome guilt feelings, speaking with a counselor or therapist may be helpful.

Conclusion

You probably aren’t surprised to learn that having sex feels nice and helps relieve stress. Since it has so many advantages, knowing more about how and why sex can relieve stress might give you a few more reasons to engage in it.

It’s critical to concentrate on stress management if it’s affecting your ability to have or enjoy sex with your partner or your connection with them. That could entail individual or couple’s counseling, where you can develop a stronger bond and discover constructive methods to deal with stress and conflict.

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Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners

Shibari Rope – Tied Up Sex for Beginners

 

If you’re searching for shibari rope and learning about tied up sex for beginners on Google, you’re not alone. 

While some couples are dedicated to discovering the best sex toys for couples—or even the most incredible sex toys period—others choose shibari rope bondage as a method to spice things up in the bedroom. 

Shibari rope bondage has been a common theme in erotic literature and art for centuries. Yet why is servitude so appealing? Well, there are many causes. While being blindfolded heightens the senses in the rest of the body, playing around with constraints can provide a thrilling adrenaline rush. Consider all the times you’ve slept off during a massage; it must have felt wonderful.

You and your partner have certainly tried a few sex tricks and ideas. How can you bring something that brings to mind twisted rope, leather fetish gear, and gimp masks into your sex lives? Continue reading for our beginner’s guide to bondage and let’s explore together the world of tied-up sex.

Ask and give consent. 

Although consent is as crucial in vanilla sex, we frequently grow accustomed to it to the point where we either forget to ask for it or excitedly provide it. However, in BDSM, you deviate from the set pattern. You and your partner must communicate frequently and clearly to ensure that everything you’re doing is safe and enjoyable since experimenting with bondage or another non-vanilla play is different from the kind of sex we’re used to seeing in the movies or on TV.

How is it possible to be completely willing while also being someone’s sex slave? How can you be both down for it and desire to get spanked, beaten, or punished? How does the person with whom you are having kinky sex know where the boundaries are? How do you express a yes or a no?

Have an escape plan. 

Although you and your partner have talked about all you wish to try in the bondage sex and things you want to avoid, there is still a need for an escape plan. You have to have a safe word or safe signal that will show your partner that you either want to fully stop or slow down. 

Some people use the color terms for communication in tied-up sex. 

For instance, yellow for slowing things down and red for stopping completely. 

If you’re tied up and you cannot speak, you can have something in your hand and drop it when you want to stop. You can also agree on certain movements to demonstrate you are not enjoying the bondage games as much as you’d like to. 

Be Clear on Each Other’s Mindset

Both of you will need to feel good about the role. If you’re the submissive one and your partner the dominant one, you should both be responsible in your roles. The dominant partner must be especially responsible, as they are controlling the situation. The submissive partner should trust them and know they are reliable in such scenarios. 

A partner who is tying up the other partner should be certain of their actions yet not controlling. This will allow the submissive partner to relax and enjoy the sex even more. And, the best way to ensure you’re both ready for your roles is to talk about it before it happens. 

Keep Learning

There is so much you can learn about tied-up sex, bondage, BDSM, and fetishes if you’re into it. Don’t think that one hard-core sex is enough to satisfy both of your needs if vanilla sex is no longer doing it for you. There are so many variations you can try out, from role-playing to different tools and toys that might help you improve your sexual life. 

You can find different sources online that can teach you how to make your BDSM side alive and satisfied. With plenty of online courses, books, blogs, and forums, you will have no issues finding interesting ideas that you’ll be eager to try out with your partner in the bedroom. 

Pre-Sex Tips

You shouldn’t start your first bondage experience with a close acquaintance, according to experts. So, even if you met them through one of the top dating websites on the internet, brand-new Tinder dates and anyone you just met online are out.

Because they don’t know how to bring up bondage with their partner, many people are discouraged from trying it out. Obtain some erotic literature or even a movie to enjoy in the privacy of your own house. Before even considering items like tools and clothing, it is the first step. Instill the idea that you might want to give it a try in your partner’s head.

Couples that can be completely honest tend to stay together and have the most fulfilling relationships. One of them might respond, “I would love to explore role-play,” if they feel comfortable enough to ask, “Let’s explore what you enjoy.” This creates an entire world of new possibilities waiting for you two to explore them. 

The best way to make something less intimidating is to offer to do it first. For example, you could say, “I’m going to wear a blindfold tonight, I’ve got this great idea – I want to try you massaging me while I’m wearing the blindfold,” and then after you’ve done it, tell them how awesome it was. 

In Final Words

Be safe; respect one another, be serious about one another, yet have fun! 

You are not doing shibari rope correctly if you are not enjoying your time in the bedroom. 

Things might seem a bit weird at the beginning as you’re doing it for the first time, yet have patience and be open-minded. 

You decided to try shibari rope out, so why not give it some time? 

Try it a few times, and explore different positions and scenarios. Talk about it with your partner before and after you have a sensual scene, to be on the same page when learning what you like and don’t like. 

If you treat shibari rope as an experience in which you can learn so much about yourself and your partner(s), you will easily find what works best for you and have fun along the way. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Ed for Adults: Do You Really Know It All? 

Sex Ed for Adults: Do You Really Know It All? 

 

You might wonder what type of sex ed for adults you might need when you already have enough experience and knowledge in this field. Imagine not being aware of your entire sexual potential throughout your life. Unfortunately, it is the truth for the majority of us without thorough adult sex education.

Many of us approach adulthood with little understanding of sexuality, actual sex, or our own sexual potential. This is mostly because as students, we haven’t received any informative sex education and there is little to no talk of pleasure in sex education in schools.

Sex Education

Sex is generally considered taboo, pleasure is shameful, and our naked, erotic bodies are frequently dreaded in Western nations and other cultures around the world. It can be challenging and upsetting to bring up the term “sex” in casual conversation, much less with our partners.

In contrast to mainstream pornography, new and digital adult sex education aims to offer more wellness-focused sex and relationship content, as well as more pleasure-informing sex education than the sterile and biologically focused sex education from school.

When learning about sex, you are invited to a world full of possibilities where you can find numerous things you like and want to explore with your sex partner. From learning how to have better orgasms to asking for what you need in bed, sex education is what provides us with the knowledge to understand ourselves as sexual beings better. 

Why Sex Ed for Adults Matters

Understanding sex has a profound impact on our sexual confidence in many facets of our lives, not just in the bedroom. We no longer feel ashamed to discuss sex, including both its lovely and less-than-beautiful aspects. Also, we become more interested in our capacity for pleasure as we learn more about sex.

Not to mention that we become more in tune with our sensual intelligence and that understanding our senses helps us be more present in both our sexual interactions and everyday life. In bed, we learn how to express what we want or don’t want. 

We can learn to speak more persuasively about passionate consent, from a hug to a spanking. Saying ‘No’ and ‘Yes, please’ to a range of concepts can truly make a difference between the sheets and help your partner understand better what works for you and what doesn’t.

Every sexual encounter can be as passionate, kinky, or sensual as the individual wants it to be. You and your partner must decide on your intentions, yet this requires sex ed. Without it, you will not be able to understand what needs to be improved to have better sex quality.  Also, if sex becomes monotonous, uninteresting, or nonexistent, you can find straightforward strategies to solve and get through any difficulty that arises.

Through learning about sex, we also acquire skills for navigating novel, personal sexual encounters. Lastly, by learning to take and provide pleasure, we can have deeper and more satisfying sexual relationships.

Sex Ed Facts for Adults

The sex education you have or haven’t received in high school probably concentrated on preventing STIs and pregnancies. And even that may not have been done very well. Most of us do not acquire nearly enough knowledge by the time we reach adulthood to navigate our sex lives appropriately.

Find below important sex-related things every adult should be aware of in order to have the fulfilling and healthy sexual life they deserve. 

1. You bring yourself to the bedroom. 

Whether we are aware of it or not, we bring all of the messages from our family, history, and culture into our sexual life. This can lead to expectations or feelings of shame that our spouse might not share. We must take the time to delve into those messages and learn to disrupt and distrust the unfavorable ones if we are to genuinely understand ourselves and be present in our sex lives.

2. Sex is a journey. 

You will never reach a moment in which you are done exploring your sexuality or sex life. Our preferences for people, things, and ways might vary over the course of a day, a month, or even a lifetime. This is very natural and something we should both accept about our spouses and ourselves.

3. Your partner can’t read your mind. 

Although it seems pretty obvious, many couples will struggle with accepting that their partner is not aware of their precise sexual needs. We must use language to verbally communicate our feelings, likes, and needs. Without assistance, our partners cannot solve this problem. How do we handle these occasionally challenging conversations? Lots of transparent communication, a readiness to show vulnerability, and some excellent listening skills.

4. We are not the same. 

Everyone is unique; what one person finds too hard, another finds too soft, and what one person finds objectionable, another finds appealing. This is the exciting part of sex! We get to investigate and discover more about ourselves and other people. Finding the common things you wish to explore with your sex partner is what makes this entire thing a lot more interesting. Imagine if everyone would like the same things in bed and make you feel the same way. What would be the point of it?

5. Don’t ignore the power of pleasure.

Both our own and our partner’s enjoyment are worthy of equal consideration, care, and interest. It’s important to consider why that’s happening and what you can do about it if you’re only in it for your own pleasure and not your partner’s, or if you’re only focused on your partner’s pleasure and not your own.

6. Orgasms are not a ‘must’.

It takes a lot of time, effort, and stress to determine whether orgasms are occurring during a sexual encounter. Yes, orgasms are lovely, yet they shouldn’t be the main “objective.” The beautiful objectives of pleasure, intimacy, and connection can be achieved without the strain of an orgasm. In fact, obsessing over orgasm can make it more difficult to accomplish. Therefore, put connection first and orgasms, if any, second.

In Conclusion

Learning about sex is also a journey. You should never stop being curious about it because there are always unexplored tricks, ideas, concepts, or even events that might interest you and completely revolutionize your sex life. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

The Positive Side of Being a Sugar Baby

The Positive Side of Being a Sugar Baby

 

If you’re surprised about the title of this article, we invite you to continue exploring with us the upsides of being a sugar baby. After all, it’s so easy to judge something or someone, yet what do we actually know about this lifestyle? What does it contain? Instead of putting a label, let’s find out together what it means to be a sugar baby and how to benefit from it.

What Is a Sugar Baby? 

A “sugar baby” is a high-standard individual working with wealthy, older men, giving them the “girlfriend experience.” Sometimes they are young women attending college. They can be high school females much less frequently. It’s important to say right away that sugar babies can also be boys who are gay or bisexual.

They have clear minds and are free to jump into the bowl of sugar for a variety of reasons, such as curiosity or personal interest. These ladies typically come from a variety of backgrounds, including mature women, staff members, and college students. In general, sugar babies are eager to pay for a connection. 

Sugar babies are typically young women who are given money by a more attractive individual in exchange for company and sometimes consensual sex at parties. Despite the controversy surrounding the phrase, it is a well-known form of dating and older men of various ages frequently refer to themselves as “sugar” or “sugar daddies”. For those interested in this type of relationship, the phrase “sugar baby” offers a seductive opening.

A Peek into the Relationship 

A young person who has become financially dependent on their particular elder partners is known as a “sugar baby.” The relationship is often one of exchange, with the other party looking for the financial security that comes with it. The sugar baby frequently seeks mentoring and financial support from their more experienced peers.

A sugar daddy is typically an older, wealthy man who yearns for the companionship of a lovely, fascinating woman. A sugar baby is quite clear about her expectations and needs in a relationship. Above all, a sugar relationship is profitable for both parties. A sugar daddy might enjoy the company of a younger, attractive woman in restaurants, parties, or at business or private gatherings. That said, the relationship can blossom into a romantic one with time if both partners are interested, although most relationships continue to be so-called glucose arrangements. 

Seeking a Sugar Daddy

It is crucial to remember that anyone who would give you sugar is not the same as someone looking for a decent friend. Your future sugar daddy might become your friend, yet mostly this doesn’t happen, often because of the age difference. No matter what the situation is, a great sugar daddy will make every effort to make you as comfortable as possible.

People frequently assume that sugar daddies are ugly and old. Yet, it’s completely false and only a stereotype. Unbelievably, as sugar dating has become more and more common in recent years, more newcomers are joining the sugar bowl. The older, less appealing male is no longer the only option. 

On sugar baby dating websites, it’s simple to find the profiles of attractive and youthful sugar daddies. The bad news is that there are up to four to eight sugar babies in the bowl for every sugar daddy. Finding a date is quite challenging for a young sugar baby due to the intense competition.

Why Someone Becomes a Sugar Baby

Such inquiries may arise if you decide to become a serious sugar baby. Why do so many teenage females opt for a sugar lifestyle? Why are they able to give their money to strange, mature men? Is sugar dating right for me? Since each event is unique, it is difficult to predict what will happen in every instance. The four main causes are summarized here:

  1. Money problems. Most young people struggle financially in some way.
  2. A thirst for achievement. Getting connected to the wealthy is one of the quickest ways to become wealthy and successful.
  3. Interest and curiosity. Sugaring has become more and more popular among young people, who view it as a new type of fashionable lifestyle.
  4. Aiming for treatment. Some young girls who don’t receive the proper care join the bowl because they want to be treated like princesses.

On the other hand, most sugar daddies are wealthy, time-crunched individuals who value their privacy. They want to always have lovely women by their side, yet they don’t want to divulge too much about their private lives in public. Appropriately, sugar dating is a fantastic compromise plan for wealthy guys dating attractive women. 

The benefit of this type of connection is that there are “no strings connected,” allowing sugar daddies to enjoy a lovely sugar baby’s companionship without having to worry about the future. Therefore, it is not surprising that sugar dating is particularly common among the wealthy.

Sugar Practice Foundations

Being a sugar baby, in the eyes of these proponents of the practice, entails developing a relationship with a wealthy and kind man. Respect, feelings, independence, and no-strings-attachedness are the prerequisites for all sugar relationships, not sexual activity. Prostitution cannot be considered to exist in this practice.

However, according to some who despise sugar babies, the practice of becoming a sugar baby is akin to prostitution, and sugar babies are dependent, lazy young women. They rely on sugar for their livelihood and don’t want to try to improve the situation on their own. We are unable to agree with the latter’s position in general. Between prostitution and sugar dating, there are some key distinctions. A prostitute is not a sugar baby.

Responsibilities & Benefits of a Sugar Baby

A sugar baby must provide something in return for her sugar daddy in order to profit financially from the relationship. These are the common responsibilities:

  • Spend time with a sugar daddy,
  • Pretend to be a mistress or a girlfriend,
  • Sexual encounters,
  • Business journeys,
  • Take part in formal banquets.

And here are some of the benefits if you decide to become someone’s sugar baby:

  • Be as spoiled as you want, 
  • Extensive financial support, 
  • Receive numerous gifts and attention,
  • Say goodbye to your traditional job,
  • A mentor and great career opportunities,
  • Enjoy luxury shopping, expensive dinners, and vacations multiple times throughout the year,
  • Have independence in the relationship.

In Final Words

There is no right or wrong with being a sugar baby. The only question is whether you want to be one or not. After all, you might not be looking into a romantic relationship at the moment and simply want to spoil yourself with attention, gifts, and great vacations. As long as you’re happy about it, everyone around you should feel happy for you as well! 

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Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Is Webcam Sex Cheating

Is Webcam Sex Cheating & How It Affects Relationships

Is Webcam Sex Cheating & How It Affects Relationships

 

 The question “Is webcam sex cheating?” is one of the most asked by many people ask in this days.

In the past, adultery involved secret rendezvous, fabrications of “business excursions”. And embarrassing justifications involving the aroma of perfume on a dress shirt. Nowadays, hooking up online makes it possible to start a relationship with someone other than your spouse or partner. Since people are not in physical contact, it may appear innocent enough. Yet online infidelity is exactly what it sounds like: cheating.

Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t sign on if married or in a committed relationship if you have been debating this issue for whatever reason. “Seeing” someone online or searching for a sexual release and considering browsing online for it.

The Concept of Cheating

Webcam sex or cyber sex is a type of emotional affair in which one of both participants establish a sexually intimate relationship without ever meeting in person. They might never even exchange voicemails or see each other’s faces. Therefore, intimacy experienced online could not appear like a true relationship if there is a lack of actual physical contact.

However, just like a physical flirtation, an internet affair can have a lasting negative impact on a relationship or even the entire family. It may divert the unfaithful partner’s focus away from his or her spouse and kids. Depriving them of valuable time and attention and making them feel neglected and taken advantage of. And just like in-person relationships, online sex experiences eventually involve secrets and lies that have the power to shatter the trust that keeps a relationship intact.

The relationship is shattered when a spouse or partner is unfaithful, even if all sexual activities are happening online without touching or kissing the third person. People having affairs also frequently become unsatisfied with their relationship or marriage in real life, which can do more harm.

The Temptations of Webcam Sex

Digital infidelity appeals to people for a variety of reasons. Having an online sexual experience can seem risky and exotic. It implies that you get to visit a new location to meet someone who finds you intriguing or strange. Also, the webcam person is always at their best when they publish or stream online. Meaning it’s easier to fall for their physical aspect. 

Because it only occurs online, digital infidelity attracts many people. Because they don’t necessarily want to meet their affair partner in person. There is less chance that physical issues may arise.

Some people turn to webcam sex as a haven because they are unhappy in their relationships yet are reluctant to express it. For instance, a straight individual who discovers that they are attracted to a person of the same sex can feel guilty and feel safer exploring their feelings online. The same goes for someone drawn to others who practice a different ethnicity, creed, nationality, age, etc.

The Consequences of Webcam Sex in Relationships

Online sex can even lead to addiction in some people, complicating matters further. The amount of free time spent in front of a computer or screen will likely increase for someone addicted to cybersex, leaving less time and attention for their spouse or partner, children, and family.

Today’s webcam sites provide easy access to sexual adventures even if there is no personal communication between two individuals. Of course, if they have begun communicating, online adultery might progress to actual adultery, which elevates cheating to a new level. 

Remembering that one webcam sex experience may not be enough to halt the episode or stop it from happening again is vital because, like real-life infidelity. It is frequently a symptom of issues in a relationship. Talk to your spouse or partner instead of searching the internet for happiness or anything else you perceive to lack in your existing relationship.

Webcam Sex Is a Fantasy

Lastly, it’s critical to stress that a webcam person is not interested in your spouse. Camgirls aren’t trying to take your spouse away from you, and they aren’t even interested in your spouse personally; instead, they are more interested in what they can give them financially. 

However, that point of view is camgirl’s, not your husband’s. There is a reason why they need webcam sex, regardless of its frequency. It might be every week, once a week, or twice a month. The truth is that an issue in your relationship needs to be addressed. 

The Next Step

If you or your partner find it difficult to cease indulging in sexually compulsive behavior, think about seeking out individual treatment or couples counseling. By doing this, you will prevent both yourself and your loved ones from suffering significant harm. Not to mention that this is the only way to truly understand what causes the need to seek sexual experience outside your relationship.

Preventing yourself or your partner will not be enough to solve the initial problem. Let’s say your husband is indulging in webcam sex on his computer, and you’ve prohibited him to do that by threatening you’ll end your marriage. This doesn’t mean that the need for similar experiences is gone or that the reason for it disappeared. 

Most of the time, there are some aspects of the relationship that need to be looked at closely for the couple to reconnect again. Whether it’s physical intimacy, lack of time together, stressful jobs, or anything else. Seeking romantic connection or sexual pleasure outside your relationship implies that something needs fixing.

In Final Words

If your partner is engaged in webcam sex activities, try not to judge them. Try to understand their perspective and suggest couples therapy instead. A relationship professional with the right set of skills can help your partner understand the core of the problem and find the best way to solve it. And reconnect with you sexually and romantically. 

Depending on how you and your partner feel, you might strengthen your relationship through therapy. It might be the experience that your relationship needed to take a look again into the sexual connection you two share. And work through the issues that have been there for a while. Once you’ve both dedicated time to those issues, you might be able to even love each other more and feel a stronger attraction to each other. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Teens Sex Talk: Everything You Needed To Know

Teens Sex Talk: Everything You Needed To Know

 

Teens sex talk is one of the most significant and impacting conversations parents can have with our kids. Therefore, we must take a deliberate and considered approach.

You might be lucky enough for your kid to approach you directly with inquiries. You will probably need to talk about each topic as they come. It might happen when your teenager asked about a well-known song about a failed relationship. Maybe it is when you catch their eyes light up when they spot someone they find attractive. Or perhaps it will happen when you find a condom in a desk drawer (hopefully sooner than that!).

Perhaps you discover that the subject will be covered in health class and want your child to know that you are always a reliable resource. Once you start talking, every subsequent exchange will be more relaxed.

Let’s Talk About Sex … And Then Again … And Again

Let’s not pretend that discussions about sex and sexuality are easy to start, even though we recognize their fundamental necessity. To help make it a little bit easier, we decided to write this article. Please keep in mind that this shouldn’t be “The Talk.” That suggests that it is a singular experience, after which you are done talking about it. That puts the subject under far too much pressure. Sexuality and sex talk are meant to be continual topics of discussion.

 

It should be a comfortable conversation that develops over time and where your beliefs around healthy sexuality are persistently reinforced. It is crucial to teach young people how to make healthy and safer sexual decisions in addition to the relevant sexuality-related information. According to research, parents who are upfront with their children about their sexuality impact their sexual practices as they mature.

Let’s be clear: Sex is not the same as sexuality. A healthy regard for our bodies and respect for others are only two of the many topics that make up the complex topic of sexuality. Human connections are entwined with healthy sexuality. Contrarily, the sexual activity involves physical activities that, when done sensibly and with the appropriate person at the right time, may be a magnificent aspect of the human experience. To enter adulthood in good health, adolescents must learn about both.

Feeling Comfortable Talking About Sex

It varies from person to person how comfortable they feel talking about sexual health issues. We can admit that discussing sex is uncomfortable as long as we equally admit that we transmit our discomfort to others. It will go more smoothly, and your kid will feel more at ease approaching you if you can get comfortable more. Also, keep in mind that there are numerous concerns related to sex and sexuality. It is OK to only address certain concerns and rely on other dependable adults in your community, especially specialists, to address situations outside your comfort zone.

Knowing the truth leads to feeling more at ease with everything that has to do with sex. These young people must learn the fundamentals. They need to be ready for changes as they approach puberty in their bodies, emotions, and sexual experiences. Many reliable, trustworthy sites can show you how to provide information that is age and developmentally appropriate for children. Keep in mind that there are some subjects in which you are already an expert that books cannot teach. Although these aren’t “facts,” they are nonetheless quite significant. 

Don’t Exclude Values

Your adolescent can find out about the specifics of puberty and growth in a variety of settings. The internet, books, and health classes are among the examples. You must make sure that they pick up these principles of healthy sexuality from you. If you and other people in their lives don’t talk about these issues, they will get their morals from the internet, TV, and music. 

In the worst situation, youngsters might pick up harmful and uncomfortable portrayals of sex and sexuality through internet pornography. Additionally, they will pick up values from their friends, which may be positive yet are not always seasoned by life.

Don’t Forget to Discuss Safety

We are aware that teenagers value their parents’ advice and that instilling parental knowledge in children is essential to setting them up for future success. We also know that teenagers reject parental advice when they feel it intrudes on their privacy, yet cherish it when it helps them negotiate the world shrewdly and safely. 

This information is essential in guiding our discussions about sex and sexuality, which can surely feel extremely, intensely personal. So, if you discuss particular relationships, you’re probably getting too intimate. Similar to this, if you inquire about your teen’s specific sexual activities, you are likely entering uneasy territory and risk provoking a rejection.

On the other hand, keeping talks casual enables you to have extremely serious conversations more successfully and comfortably. Young people believe that it is the responsibility of their parents to keep them safe, and we often talk about healthy sexual practices while talking about safety issues. Also, emotional security is on the line. We need to talk about respect for one another and ourselves. Limits and personal boundaries. Observe the oral and nonverbal cues of others to avoid engaging in acts that they do not want.

Don’t Assume

Don’t assume that simply because things seem to be happening quickly, young people are knowledgeable or informed about everything. Our children deserve factual knowledge about sexuality that is presented clearly and is rooted in the ideals of self-preservation and respect for others. We deprive people of the fundamental knowledge that is the cornerstone of healthy sexuality when we presume they know too much. That means that we must begin by learning how our bodies work and the beauty of love connections as well as the potential for manipulative or exploitative ones.

Conclusion

Teenagers claim that their parents—not friends—have the greatest impact on their sex decisions, yet only if their parents communicate with them. Having open and honest discussions about sexuality so enables us to mold our kids into people who will be better prepared for healthy, meaningful relationships, as challenging as they may at times seem.

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

Sexual Freedom: Protect Your Rights By Voting

 

Sexual freedom is a fundamental right that every human has. It is at the heart of our dignity, equality, and civil liberties captured in the U.S. Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Our sexuality is a natural, fundamental, and valuable aspect of life that cannot be prescribed or legislated. As humans, we should always strive to acknowledge, protect, and celebrate our sexual freedom because they are part of human rights.

Unfortunately, many events in the everyday lives of Americans have been affecting our freedom, and one of the recent ones concerns our sexual rights. To win these short-term races, many politicians use sexual freedom as a tool to get more votes and defeat their opponents in their beliefs and values. You might not be interested in politics (neither are we), yet politics is very much interested in you, especially your sexual freedom.

Ignoring the impact politics has on our lives leads to our lives being guided by people who don’t represent what we stand for and believe in. That is why we need to protect our rights by voting for those who will protect them with us. We’ll refrain from commenting on politicians and parties and analyze how those considered leaders shape our future and affect our lives.

What Is Sexual Freedom? 

To truly understand this problem, we must first understand what sexual freedom is. Fundamental human rights that are focused on sexual freedom include:

  • rights to equality and non-discrimination,
  • the right to be free from torture or any cruel, inhumane, or degrading treatment/punishment,
  • the right to privacy,
  • rights to the highest standard of health possible – including sexual health – and social security,
  • the right to marry and found a family with the free and full consent of involved individuals, and equality during and at the dissolution of marriage,
  • the right to decide the number and spacing of their children,
  • rights to information and education,
  • the rights to freedom of opinion and expression, 
  • the right to an effective remedy in case of a fundamental right violation.

Going through this list, you might feel confused about the terms ‘sexual freedom’ and ‘sexual rights’. Although they are often considered synonyms, there cannot be sexual freedom if there is a violation of even one sexual right. You are not a free being if any of the rights from the list above gets violated, including sexual rights.

And violating a human right doesn’t require an aggressive method, especially in the public arena. As we’re used to associating the word ‘violation’ with aggressive and violent human behaviors, we assume that attempts or acts that are less physically aggressive or visual are not as serious, bad, or concerning as the more obvious ones. And that is where we are all wrong.

Attacking Our Sexual Freedom

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been hearing a lot about Roe v. Wade. On June 24th, 2022, millions of women across the United States lost their right to decide over their bodies once the Supreme Court overturned abortion rights in half of the states. That led to further political discussions where 26 states are considering how to completely ban or severely restrict abortion, with already 13 states with trigger laws. 

This event is not impactful just because it affects more than one state in the United States. It has been a number one topic in the media because it is a pure presentation of a violation of human rights. Just because there is no physical act of aggression doesn’t make it less terrifying. 

According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were 930,160 abortions in 2020. If all states were to ban or restrict abortion, this would mean that a million women in the U.S. would be denied to decide over their bodies. One million women would be denied their freedom and fundamental human rights. Almost 50 years ago, back in 1973, the Supreme Court legalized the abortion in Roe v. Wade case. Why are we going back to when women were not given adequate medical care and support and were denied their rights?

Effects of Losing Sexual Freedom

In this case, unfortunately, history repeats itself. Instead of going into politics and understanding why someone would use abortion as a way to win elections and improve their public image, let’s consider what happens on a more individual level.

Anytime someone is denied their sexual freedom or any other type of freedom, they are not able to eliminate a part of themselves to fit in better. For instance, a pregnant woman who doesn’t want to proceed with her pregnancy cannot just become un-pregnant because abortion is illegal in her country. A man who is in love with another man and wants to contract a same-sex marriage with them will not suddenly stop being gay just because they live in a community that is not open-minded.

That leads to a wide spectrum of people who fall out of the public sphere. The United States must provide each individual with equal human rights and protect these rights by all means possible. However, there is still a lot of room for improvement when it comes to sexual freedom. Such discussions, whether presented in media or converted into laws, result in people feeling unheard, invisible, rejected, weird, unnatural, miserable, and so on.

How to Fight For Our Fundamental Rights

Understanding the gravity of things helps us understand better and react more rationally. We cannot change the political leaders, yet we can choose more wisely the next time. You don’t have to be a fan of politics. You don’t even have to know everything about the politician or political party. What you should know is how well would these people represent your beliefs and value if they were elected. Would they care enough to protect someone like you? Or do they see people as a set of numbers used in a popularity contest?

Voting helps you protect all your fundamental rights, from your sexual freedom to the freedom to work and education. Would you be okay with 13 states prohibiting girls from going to school under the pretension of nurturing traditional values? Would you be okay with 13 states allowing child slavery under the pretension of teaching children practical skills? If that provoked a strong ‘hell no’, why should it be any different with sexual freedom? After all, each of our fundamental rights is protected by the U.S. Constitution for a reason.

Stop considering voting a political activity and think of it as voting for a safer and more inclusive future that improves how we treat each other and teaches us how to set a better example for generations to come. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

sensate focus

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?

Sensate Focus: What Is It & How It Works?

 

Have you ever heard of sensate focus? It is a technique that improves intimacy and communication around sex between partners, while also reducing sexual performance anxiety, and abandoning any sexual pattern that doesn’t serve a couple. The sensate focus technique was developed 60 years ago by Dr. William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and involves a series of touching exercises a couple completes in one sequence. 

The goal of sensate focus is for partners to let go of the expectations and judgments around mutual touching, and rather focus only on the sensory aspects of touch, such as texture, temperature, and pressure. Master and Johnson created this technique to help couples relax and be more mindful of the sensual touching experience, without the burden of preconceived ideas of what should occur. 

Also known as mindful touching or non-orgasm-focused touch, the sensate focus has proved to help improve intimacy and quality of sex life for many couples, especially those who have issues with body image, desire, arousal, orgasm, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. 

 

You will find many variations of this technique, yet the founders have outlined it as a process that involves five steps. 

1. Non-Genital Touching

The first step requires both partners to be clean, unclothed, and well-rested. If they don’t feel comfortable being naked, they can choose to wear comfortable clothes that are not restraining them in any way. One partner is the toucher and the other one is the receiver in the first step of the sensate focus. Halfway through the initial steps, the partners will switch roles, so both of them can experience what it’s like to be the toucher and the receiver. 

The receiver will lie down in a position that feels comfortable for them, while the toucher touches them anywhere on the body which is not breasts or genitals. The idea is to enjoy the sensuality of touch instead of using it as a tool for sexual arousal or stimulation. Even if one partner or both of them become sexually excited, they should resist the temptation to have sex because it leads to the same sexual partners. The founders of sensate focus suggest 15 minutes as the maximum time to explore all the sensations touching and being touched can arise in a person. 

2. Genital and Breast Touching

In the second step, the partners will continue with the same structure, however, the genitals and breasts are no longer “off limits”. Partners are still focused on exploring which sensations they feel when immersed in the power of a touch, instead of sexual stimulation. In other words, the toucher shouldn’t spend more time touching the genitals and breasts than any other body area. One of the partners will likely become aroused in this step, yet they should continue with the technique, instead of turning it into a sexual encounter.

Here, the couple can utilize the hand riding technique, which allows them to use their hand to give nonverbal cues like slightly increasing the pressure. If using this technique, the receiver must sit in between the legs of their partner to feel even more connected.

3. Adding Lotion or Lubricant

In step three, you will repeat everything from the previous step, only with the addition of oil or lotion when touching the body and a lubricant for the genital touching. The founders of the sensate focus believed that adding lotion or lubricant improves sensory awareness by altering the medium of touch. 

The important thing to know is that the oil or lotion used for body touching mustn’t be cold, so you should warm it before you dive into exploring this technique or simply warn it in your hands before putting it on the receiver’s body. 

4. Mutual Touching

Now, both partners will be allowed to touch each other at the same time. There are no more roles, and both can be the receiver and the toucher at once. The basic principles from the third step stay, however, when mutually touching each other, partners should resist their desire for sexual intercourse. Instead, they should continue with the mindset of noticing all the sensations and feelings of touch.  

Also, couples can now use their lips and tongue to touch each other, yet still without kissing or oral sex. This ensures they don’t go back to their old sexual patterns and discover a completely new level of sensuality and connection caused by sensory appreciation.

5. Sensual Intercourse

Masters and Johnson coined the term “sensual intercourse” to describe the last phase of sensate focus. Throughout the entire technique, the couple was focused on building a new level of awareness when it comes to touching. Ergo, they shouldn’t revert to their old sexual behaviors, which were often mechanical and orgasm-driven. 

Partners should continue practicing mindfulness when sensually touching each other by becoming aware of the temperature, texture, and shape of their genitals. They might decide to insert and remove fingers or penis into the vagina several times before continuing. Some couples choose to vary their breathing and observe how it affects the sensations, while others might decide to continue with touching. Whichever the choice, both partners should stay aware of the magic of touch and all the physical sensations it awakens in them. 

Conclusion

By abandoning your old sexual patterns and behaviors, you are able to connect on a new level with your partner. As most sex and romantic partners start touching each other as foreplay that aims to lead to sexual intercourse. Sensate focus allows us to explore how we feel about the touch and how our partner is reacting when we touch them.

This strengthens intimacy and sexual connections between partners, and more importantly, it helps them to discover new dimensions of their sexuality. It breaks the limits of sex only being the same series of actions, typically only orgasm-driven. And introduces a new way of understanding how powerful touching our loved ones can be in itself. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do