Communication in Long Distance Relationships

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Communication in Long Distance Relationships: 3 Must-Know Tips

 

Communication in long distance relationships can feel like both an art and a science. One missed call or misread text can spiral into a wave of overthinking. But when done with intention, it can also be the anchor that keeps love steady. Even across oceans and time zones.

Long distance love isn’t easy—but it can be incredibly rewarding when you learn how to stay connected emotionally, not just digitally. Whether you’re separated by cities, states, or continents, strong communication is your lifeline—and your love line.

In this video, I’m sharing three game-changing communication tips that go beyond the usual “good morning” and “good night” texts. These tips will help you to truly connect, nurture emotional intimacy. And keep that spark alive no matter how many miles are between you.

We’ll talk about creating meaningful check-ins, using “scheduled spontaneity” (yes, it’s a thing!), and finding love languages that work long-distance. Let’s turn the challenges of distance into opportunities for deeper connection.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Sleep Divorce

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Sleep Divorce: Is It Good or Bad For Your Marriage? 

 

Have you heard about sleep divorce? Maybe you’re not familiar with the term, yet it’s probably something you have an opinion about. Sleep divorce refers to sleeping in separate bedrooms with the ultimate objective of improving sleep quality. By doing so, you can avoid inconveniences such as snoring, CPAP machine noise, insomnia, differing sleep schedules, temperature preferences, and so on. 

The practice can be especially beneficial for couples who have different sleep patterns or poor sleep quality. However, is it a good or a bad thing for your marriage? What should you know about sleep divorce before you implement it into your marriage? We bring you all the answers. 

 

Definition of Sleep Divorce

Sleep divorce refers to an arrangement in which romantic partners who live together choose to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms to improve the quality of their sleep. Although you might assume at first, sleep divorce doesn’t refer to isolating from your partner after an argument. It is a conscious decision between two partners to improve their sleep and intimacy. 

This decision can be made at any time in your relationship or marriage, yet it’s made for the benefit of both partners. For example, your partner might snore every night, causing you to sleep poorly and go to work exhausted. Doing this for weeks or months can lead to arguments, irritation, and frustration with your marriage and everything else in your life.

To avoid it, some couples decide to sleep apart. After a while, these couples report better sleep quality and improved intimacy. That said, not every couple is the same and what works for some might not work for your relationship. 

 

Addressing Potential Challenges

Every new idea comes with a set of challenges, and sleep divorce is no exception. It’s crucial to avoid any misunderstanding that might occur when talking to your partner about this idea. If they are not so open to discuss it, explain to them that it’s not a sign of emotional distance. On the contrary, sleep divorce boosts intimacy and your personal well-being. 

Depending on your views on commenting on your decisions with other people, you might fear how they feel about it. Social stigma or fear of judgment is an important factor if one of you feels the need for approval from others. If this is the case with your partner, try to be comprehensive and share your perspective with them. 

Even if your partner is accepting of sleep divorce, you will still have to discuss navigating intimacy and sex. Deciding to sleep in separate rooms will change how you approach each other for sex, cuddling, or pillow talk. You can decide which days you wish to have time for intimacy. Alternatively, you can choose to be physically intimate before heading to your separate rooms. 

Lastly, there is also guilt or fear of rejection. A person suggesting trying a sleep divorce might feel conflicted about it before even discussing it with a partner.

 You may want to try this approach, whether your goal is to improve your sleep quality or to enhance intimacy with your partner. Just because you’re next to them all night doesn’t mean you’re intimate. Intimacy requires intention, and sleep divorce can give you that. 

 

Talking to Your Partner About Sleep Divorce

Before making such a decision, engage in a heartfelt conversation with your partner. If your partner is not into this idea, be patient and explain to them your motivation for such a suggestion. 

Tell them it’s not about emotional separation. Sleep divorce is a practical strategy for personal well-being. If they’re worried about a lack of physical intimacy due to the separation, tell them you can have all of them before going to bed. In fact, many couples have noticed that they share more moments of cuddling, having sex, or spending time together before they go to their beds or rooms. 

Address their worries and give them time to process your suggestion. You can start to sleep separately once a week to see how you both feel about it. There is really no rule on how to implement sleep divorce into your marriage or relationship. Follow the path that seems most natural to both of you. 

Once you’ve reached a mutual understanding, it’s crucial to discuss boundaries and requests. For example, you may want to ask your partner not to come to bed while you’re asleep, as it may frighten you and make it hard to sleep again. Make sure you both communicate before and during your sleep divorce. Ask each other how you feel about this change. Be supportive of each other while getting used to this new arrangement. 

 

Is Sleep Divorce Right for You?

If you’re uncertain whether sleep divorce is the best option for your marriage or relationship, ask yourself the following questions: 

  • Do I consistently wake up feeling tired or unrested after sharing a bed?
  • Do I sleep better when my partner is away or when I nap alone?
  • Am I often disturbed by my partner’s snoring, movement, or sleep habits?
  • Do we have different sleep preferences (e.g., bedtime, temperature, mattress firmness)?
  • Has sharing a bed caused tension, arguments, or resentment in our relationship?
  • Do we communicate openly about our sleep frustrations without blame or shame?
  • Is our intimacy suffering because we associate bedtime with stress instead of connection?
  • Would sleeping separately help us show up more lovingly during the day?
  • Are we open to trying a temporary or partial sleep divorce (e.g., a few nights per week)?
  • Can we create routines that preserve physical closeness (e.g., cuddling before going to separate rooms)?
  • Are we willing to check in regularly and adjust the arrangement if it’s not working?

 

Do What’s Best For Your Marriage

Whatever you decide, make sure it benefits your marriage. Start small if you’re interested in experimenting with sleep divorce. Sleep separately one night per week and increase when you feel comfortable. If there are certain nights when you or your partner needs physical intimacy, make sure you don’t see it as breaking the rules. The only goal is to make you grow personally and together! 

Schedule a session to discuss the subject more! 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

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Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

 

Premarital counseling questions can be quite helpful in getting to know your partner better before saying ‘I do.’ There are probably several topics you haven’t covered yet that can significantly impact your marriage, whether negatively or positively.  As life partners, you will work together towards mutual goals, and ensuring these goals are aligned with your personal goals is essential. 

Do you want kids? What do you want to save money for? These and similar questions are a wonderful conversation starter. More than that, discussing these topics can make your lives easier. When you know the person you want to marry well, the marriage will help you avoid negative surprises. Just imagine being married for five years to learn that your partner wants different things from you. 

 

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters 

Asking the right questions is a powerful tool to get to know anyone, especially people you let into your personal space. Marriage is a serious commitment that you want to last. Avoiding talking about certain areas does not guarantee your marriage will last. In most cases, it’s quite the opposite. 

That is why it’s important to ask these premarital counseling questions and share your perspective with your partner as well. Instead of treating it like a questionnaire, use each topic to initiate a conversation. That way, you will both feel more relaxed and share more information with each other. Conversation allows you to go further than just responding with yes or no. 

While talking about these topics, you might also get inspired by each other’s answers. What our partner shares can help us understand how we feel about something and why. Below, find the areas with question examples you can use to start a conversation with your future spouse. 

 

Which Areas to Cover in Premarital Counseling

There are no wrong topics to discuss with your partner. However, exploring key premarital counseling questions can be crucial if you plan to get married. As much as getting married is a romantic decision, it will also impact other areas of your life.

 

Values and Life Goals

Each person has their set of values. Do yours and your partner’s align? Remember, there are no wrong or right values in life. Some might align more with another person’s values, while others will be less aligned. 

Talking about your life goals can also help you determine whether your aspirations align. For instance, knowing that you both aspire to have a big family one day is a positive sign. You wouldn’t even be aware that you and your partner share similar life goals if you didn’t discuss it.

These are the questions you can ask:

  • What does a meaningful life look like to you?
  • What are three major goals you still want to achieve?
  • How do you define success for yourself?

 

Communication Styles and Conflict Resolution

The way we communicate with each other has a greater impact than what we communicate about. Respect, honesty, and curiosity are the three pillars of quality and healthy communication in any type of relationship. 

When conflict arises, how do you approach it? How does your partner approach it? Do you talk about it first, or do you prefer to have some time to think about it? Learning each other’s communication style and the way you approach conflict is essential for the well-being of your relationship.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • Do you prefer to talk things out immediately or take time to process first?
  • What makes you feel truly heard and understood?
  • What does “emotional safety” in communication look like for you?
  • What’s your go-to reaction when you feel hurt or misunderstood?
  • How were conflicts handled in your family growing up, and how has that shaped you?
  • Do you tend to avoid conflict, confront it directly, or do something else?
  • What helps you calm down when you’re feeling upset?

 

Finances and Money Management

Many arguments in marriages happen due to money. As much as love is what brought you together, money is what helps you get through the day. Having financial struggles will make it more difficult to enjoy your marriage and stay happily in love. 

That is why it is important to learn about your partner’s approach to earning money, financial responsibilities, and managing money. For instance, one person might prefer to earn as much money as possible, while another enjoys spending all they have and living in the moment. These opposite perspectives toward money could result in arguments. 

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you feel about saving vs. spending?
  • What does financial security mean to you?
  • Do you see money as a source of freedom, stress, power, or something else?
  • Are you more of a planner or spontaneous when it comes to finances?
  • How do you feel about debt?

 

Family and Children

Before marriage, it’s vital to talk about your partner’s views on family and kids. Do you want kids? Does your partner want kids? If you don’t share the same views, it might take more work to maintain the marriage. 

Also, learn about how they think of family. Is it a priority for them, or do they want to stay focused on their career? This talk should help you recall your youth and learn about your partner’s side you may not have heard before. 

These are the questions you can ask:

  • Do you want to have children? If so, how many?
  • What are your reasons for wanting (or not wanting) kids?
  • At what point in our marriage would you ideally want to start a family?
  • How do you imagine us dividing parenting roles (day-to-day tasks, emotional labor, decision-making)?
  • How would we handle disagreements about parenting?

 

Intimacy and Affection

A successful marriage is one that satisfies both partners’ needs for intimacy and affection. Intimacy can mean different things to different people. You might prefer physical touch, while your partner prefers long conversations as a form of intimacy. Talking about it helps you understand each other’s needs better and allows you to give your partner what they need.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you most naturally give and receive love (words, touch, gifts, quality time, acts of service)?
  • What makes you feel most emotionally connected to me?
  • How important is regular affection (hugging, kissing, cuddling) to you?
  • How would you like emotional support when facing a challenging situation?

 

Conclusion

Make sure that these questions lead to relevant conversations. You don’t have to cover all areas in one conversation. Instead, find a moment when you both feel relaxed and willing to talk and bring up one of the topics mentioned above. You can even share your answers first to motivate your partner to open up if they have a hard time communicating about similar topics. If you disagree, do your best to find a way to give you both what you need. 

If you lack ideas on how to overcome an obstacle, visiting a marital therapist is always a good idea. They could also help you prepare for marriage. 

If you need premarital counseling, schedule a session now.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with a Lazy Husband

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How to Deal with a Lazy Husband

 

Learning how to deal with a lazy husband or wife is necessary for the well-being of your marriage. Laziness could become a huge problem if you prefer an active lifestyle. For instance, you might want to spend the weekend in nature or visiting new places, while your spouse prefers staying at home and watching Netflix until they fall asleep. 

Have they always been like this, or have they become lazy over the years? Understanding the root of their laziness can help you find the best approach to addressing this issue. In this article, we’ll take a look behind laziness and suggest techniques you can try to work on with your husband or wife. 

 

Defining Laziness

To understand your options, we’ll look into what laziness is first. Laziness is the lack of motivation or energy to do something, even if the person can do it. One thing that is important to highlight here is that saying that someone is lazy is often a subjective judgment. What one person considers lazy might be considered normal by another. 

That said, there could be many causes of laziness, such as boredom, fatigue, and lack of interest. In some cases, people who are struggling with depression or burnout can be described as lazy, so it’s crucial to understand what is behind your spouse’s laziness. 

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Was he/she always like this?
  • In which area of their life are they showing signs of laziness?
  • What do situations in which you’ve seen them motivated have in common?
  • Is their laziness sometimes more pronounced than it was in the past?
  • What signs do you notice when you refer to them as a lazy person?

Responding to these questions can help you understand if there is a pattern in your partner’s laziness. They might feel a lack of motivation in their personal life yet be very active in their career. On the other hand, they could show a lack of desire to be active around the house while maintaining an active social life with their friends. Learning about the characteristics of your partner’s laziness is crucial if you want to understand them better and help them. 

 

How Your Husband’s Laziness Affects You 

Before you address this issue with your husband, you will want to learn how their laziness is impacting you. Do you expect your partner to meet certain needs, but they can’t because they’re putting it off? Maybe you want them to help with chores or become more proactive in planning your weekends. Whatever it is, it’s important you’re clear on it before approaching them for a conversation. If you’re wondering how to deal with a lazy husband in a way that feels fair and constructive, getting clarity on how it affects you is a crucial first step.

If it helps, you can make a list of reasons why your husband’s laziness is annoying you. Be honest, as you will not read the list to them. This exercise aims to help you express your feelings and understand how their laziness affects you.

Another tool you can use every day is journaling. Seeing how your spouse’s laziness is affecting you every day can help you prepare better for a conversation with them. Once you know what’s bothering you, clarify what you want from your partner. Do you want to talk to them more? Spend time in nature? Would having more help around the house allow you to have more free time?

Lastly, you will also want to define the boundaries you wish to set. These boundaries can refer to your emotional and mental health, behavior, words, or anything else that would make you feel better about the current situation. For example, you won’t clean up their mess in the apartment.

Depending on the person and their partner, laziness can be a minor issue or a big obstacle to your marriage.

Talking to Your Spouse

When discussing something that may hurt your spouse, think carefully about what you want to say. It’s reasonable to assume that they won’t feel comfortable having this conversation as you discuss their actions. That is why it’s essential to avoid blaming language.

Instead of accusing them of their laziness, try to explain to them how you feel. So, you will want to say something like “I feel overwhelmed/sad/frustrated when you …” 

Tell them how their laziness affects you, but also offer to help. If you think they’re open to it and it’s the right moment, suggest visiting a therapist. 

You will also want to speak with your spouse at a time and place they feel most relaxed. Don’t just jump into the conversation as soon as they arrive. Ask them when they can talk about something important. When you start talking, ensure there are no distractions, whether that’s phones, TV, music, or similar. 

Avoid setting ultimatums. You don’t want to make your husband do something differently; you want them to feel the need to do so. The problem will not disappear if they stop acting lazy around you. This will just pressure them into acting unnatural. You will want to find the root of the cause and support them in their journey. 

 

Work Together Towards a Solution

After the talk, don’t leave your partner alone to find the solution. Offer them help, talk to them, and ask what they would need from you to feel more motivated. As much as their laziness is their problem, you need two people for a successful marriage. Your aim is to be the best you can be, not to fix your husband’s laziness.

Still unsure how to deal with a lazy husband in a way that doesn’t drain you or create more resentment? Working together is key—but it’s okay if you need support along the way.

If you cannot discuss this tender topic, come seek couples therapy. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

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Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

 

If you’re wondering, ‘Why do people stay in abusive relationships?’ this article will aim to answer that question. Whether you’re reading this material to understand yourself and your relationship or you want to support a friend, this guide can help you understand why a person would choose to stay in such a relationship.

Learn how to recognize an abusive relationship, the reasons for staying, and the best ways to exit it. 

 

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship is characterized by violence, cruelty, harm, and disrespect. Treating a partner in any of these ways indicates an abusive relationship. When it comes to types, relationship abuse can be physical, sexual, spiritual, or emotional. 

These are the most common signs of an abusive relationship:

  • Constant criticism, insults, or name-calling
  • Gaslighting (making you doubt yourself) 
  • Blaming you for everything 
  • Mood swings that keep you walking on eggshells
  • Withholding affection as punishment
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Dictating what you wear, eat, or how you spend money (without consent) 
  • Monitoring your phone, emails, or social media
  • Yelling, screaming, or demeaning you in private or public
  • Using sarcasm or “jokes” to humiliate you
  • Hitting, slapping, punching, choking, or biting (without consent)
  • Insulting your beliefs and practices
  • Throwing objects, punching walls, or threatening with weapons
  • Grabbing, pushing, or restraining
  • Blocking exits or physically intimidating you

These are the most common signs of abusive relationships. That said, if you feel harmed by your partner’s behavior, yet it’s not on this list, it doesn’t make it okay. Abuse from loved ones is often difficult to identify, and it can be confusing for those who experience it. If you suspect your relationship is abusive, talk to a friend or a therapist and share how you feel. 

 

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

The first thing someone thinks when talking about abusive relationships is, ‘Why don’t they just leave?’ However, leaving someone you love is not easy, even if you’re not happy in a relationship with them. There are many potential reasons why someone might decide to stay in an abusive relationship. 

Trauma Bonding

A person who grew up without unconditional love or in a dangerous home is more likely to be in an abusive relationship. In these situations, children develop emotional dependence and seek that familiar dynamic. Because of this, some people choose the same partner type repeatedly. 

Low Self-Worth

A person with lower self-worth will choose to stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling for them because they think they deserve it. For example, your friends might say for a while that you deserve a better partner, yet you don’t believe them. You think you have to put up with all the drama because someone better wouldn’t be interested in you. You may believe this because your partner lied and abused you by saying you’d never find anyone better. 

Being Threatened

In more severe cases, a person might be afraid to leave, as their partner has threatened them. These threats can include lying about you or threatening self-harm if you leave. Whatever the content of these threats, you decide to stay with them, as leaving could result in undesired consequences. 

Fear of the Unknown

Starting all over again might seem scary, especially as you get older. We get used to people and the relationships we build with them, even the bad ones. Staying in the familiar situation can seem safer than navigating the unknown. This situation could have the same effect if you dislike being alone or fear independence. 

Stigma or Shame

Staying in abusive relationships to avoid shame and comments from others is common for couples with children. They may view the ending of the relationship as a personal failure, a perception that is far from accurate. There is no excuse for abusive behavior, regardless of how your decision to leave the abusive partner might seem to others. 

Financial Dependence

If your partner is earning all the money, you might feel like you can’t end the relationship. Without money, you wouldn’t be able to find an apartment and cover all your needs. That said, if your partner is abusive, you can ask your friends and family for help, including financial assistance. They can give you food and a couch until you decide what to do. Additionally, some states provide financial resources for situations like this. 

Religious or Cultural Beliefs

In some cultures and religions, ending a relationship or marriage is viewed negatively. Everyone has heard stories of a happily ever after. However, life is not made only of perfect moments and people. Knowing when to cut ties with people who treat you poorly is essential for your well-being. 

 

Breaking the Silence

Many people in abusive relationships will try their best to change their abusive partners. Understanding the distinction between relationship difficulties and an abusive partner is crucial. Instead of trying to make them understand how you feel, talk to someone whom you trust and who can truly support you, whether that person is a family member, friend, or therapist.

Talking to someone else can also help you consider how to end a relationship in the best possible way. For the same reasons that they continue in such a relationship, many victims choose to remain silent. Getting the help you need is essential and is the only way to end your suffering. If the abuse has been going on for a while and it has taken a serious toll on your health, talk to a therapist or a trusted healthcare practitioner. 

Sometimes, talking to people who have been through the same experience can help. Look for online or offline support groups and connect with people who truly understand how you feel. Talking to someone who is now recovered from such a relationship can give you hope and motivate you to leave your abusive partner. After all, whatever the reason for staying in an abusive relationship, it is not worth sacrificing your peace, health, and happiness. You deserve to be happy and with someone who wants to make you happy every day!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Manipulation in Relationships Signs

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7 Sneaky Manipulation in Relationships Signs You NEED to Spot!

 

Manipulation in relationships signs aren’t always flashing neon red flags. Sometimes they’re soft, subtle, and wrapped in a hug that feels just off. 😳 Ever gotten a hug that felt more like control than comfort? Yep. That’s what we’re talking about.

In this video, I’m breaking down 7 low-key ways manipulation hides in physical touch—and why your gut reaction is always worth listening to.

When someone uses physical affection to control, distract, or guilt-trip you, it can leave you questioning your own instincts. A hand on your back that subtly steers you at a party. A kiss that interrupts rather than connects. A “comforting” cuddle that only shows up when you agree with them. All of these are ways manipulation disguises itself as intimacy.

We’re diving into how touch can be used like a reward system—offered when you comply, withdrawn when you push back. And how physical closeness can blur emotional boundaries, keeping you stuck in cycles of guilt and confusion.

Another manipulation tactic? Acting hurt or rejected when you ask for space. That “But I just want to be close to you” line can sound sweet but feel suffocating when it ignores your needs.

By the end of this, you’ll know how to spot when affection is being used to connect—and when it’s being used to control. Because real love doesn’t pressure. It honors your yes and your no.

So get cozy, open your heart, and let’s shine a light on these subtle signs—because your peace is worth protecting. 💛

Let’s dive in. 👀✨

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Chemistry Between Two People: How to Recognize It?

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Chemistry Between Two People: How to Recognize It?

 

Is chemistry between two people real? How long does it last? Is it the same as being in love? We’ve all found ourselves thinking about this, especially when we become romantically interested in someone new. You might compare this feeling you have with the last time you experienced something similar. Regardless of what it is, we can all agree that the chemistry of love makes our world a little more interesting. 

There are certain signs that indicate chemistry exists between you and another person. Depending on the circumstances, you might date them or simply enjoy the subtle flirting. Learn how to recognize these signs and when it makes sense to address the chemistry.

 

Signs of Chemistry Between Two People

One person doesn’t have to experience the chemistry the same way as someone else. They might even notice that every time they feel attracted to someone, it feels different or unique. For some, this chemistry could be felt only on a physical level. The person’s appearance and aura might attract them. In most cases, this chemistry is a mix of emotional, mental, and physical attraction. 

Such chemistry can be indicated by the intensity of contact and the feeling of being drawn to them. Find below the most obvious signs of chemistry between two people:

    • Intense eye contact: You can’t keep your eyes off of them, and they feel the same way. When you look into each other’s eyes, there’s a certain connection that you only feel with them. 
    • Talking to them is easy: You might have many things in common, or you simply enjoy talking for hours about different topics that come to mind. You feel like you know them for much longer, and it’s much easier to talk to them than to other people in your life. 
  • They make you laugh: You smile around them all the time. 
  • Your body reacts when they’re near: You might feel butterflies in your stomach or tingling when they’re close to you or when they touch you. 
  • Mimicking gestures: You unconsciously mimic each other’s gestures, speech patterns, or posture. It’s a subtle sign of a deep connection.
  • Losing track of time: Time passes by quickly when you’re talking to them, looking at them, or daydreaming about them. 
  • After spending time with them, you feel an energy boost instead of feeling drained; their presence gives you a buzz, like a shot of positive energy.

 

What to Do About the Chemistry

You’re certain there is chemistry between you and the other person, and now what? What are your options? First, it will significantly depend on the circumstances. Are you both single? Would there be complications if you wanted to start dating or become a couple? For instance, you might work together and dating can be awkward, especially if things don’t lead to the expected outcomes. 

Second, analyze their words and gestures. Do they still seem as interested in you as they were in the beginning? Do you believe they feel the same way as you do? Taking a moment and thinking about their feelings toward you can help you understand better your options.

If you believe that the chemistry is mutual and strong, it’s time for the next step. What actions would make you feel comfortable? Maybe you’d like to express verbally how they make you feel. You could tell them directly or write it in a letter. If that’s too much for you, use body language to make them realize how you feel about them. Sit closer, show interest by asking questions, flirt, invite them to spend time alone with you, etc. Whatever feels natural to you, do it. 

 

What If It’s Not Chemistry?

Occasionally, it can be tricky to determine whether what you feel is chemistry or something else. Chemistry between two people implies that you both feel attracted to each other on some level. If they are not showing any of the signs mentioned above, maybe it’s time to reconsider the situation. Is it chemistry or something else?

A person might have different motives for connecting with another person. A boss or a colleague might show interest in a certain employee because they recognize potential in them or want to learn a certain skill from them. A friend could appreciate a friend’s advice without any romantic intentions. 

Take a moment to really think about how they behave when they’re near you. Have they said or done something that implies they’re attracted to you? Do they treat other people the same way, or is there something unique about their approach to you? 

If you’re uncertain if there’s chemistry between the two of you, consider if it makes more sense to wait until you know or to ask them directly. If you work or are friends with someone, it can be awkward to learn they don’t feel the same way. 

Take It Slow 

The best piece of advice for this situation is to take it slow. Rushing things could ruin the chemistry you already have. Instead, try to take it slow and see how the situation evolves. If you feel attracted to them and notice they feel the same, enjoy it. We often want to label things instead of enjoying the experience. 

When the moment is right, you’ll know it. There might be the right gesture, word, or opportunity that makes you feel like you want to address the chemistry and ask the person about their view on it. If you’re honest about your feelings from the start, it will be easier to deal with. Whatever the case, make sure you’re not pressuring yourself into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. Respecting your needs first will help you enjoy that chemistry more, regardless of the outcome. 

If you want to entice more feelings of chemistry at home, get our sensual video for therapy suggestions on demand.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

What Is Tantric Meditation & Should You Try It

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What Is Tantric Meditation & Should You Try It

 

You’ve probably landed here after asking, ‘What is tantric meditation?’ There is so much confusion around tantric massages and tantric meditation. Although Tantra is often connected with sex, it is a much broader term than that. The origin of Tantra can be traced back to Hinduism and Buddhism, making it an ancient yogic tradition. 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at tantric meditation, teach you how to meditate this way, and cover everything else you need to know about Tantra.

 

Definition of Tantra

Tantra was first practiced on the Indian subcontinent as an integral part of a yogic tradition. The name refers to the system of practices and philosophies that aim to expand consciousness and cultivate the inherent divine potential within oneself. Tantra uses a wide range of techniques, including rituals, mantras, visualizations, and yogic practices. It often involves using the body and energy to access higher states of awareness.

Tantra emphasizes the sacredness of the body and all aspects of life, including sexuality. It denies that the body hinders spiritual growth, as some religions and philosophies claim. Instead, Tantra sees the body as a vehicle for creating a connection to oneself and others.

Some of the most well-known tantric practices are yoga, pranayama, meditation, mantras, and visualizations. Tantric meditation is practiced to cultivate focus, concentration, and awareness of the present moment. So, how is tantric meditation different from other types of meditation?

 

Tantric Meditation

A key element of the broader Tantra philosophy is tantric meditation.  Tantric meditation is entirely dependent on energy, as Tantra is the philosophy and study of energy.  For people accustomed to meditation techniques designed to symbolize an empty mind, this is something entirely new. 

Various energy forms and characteristics, including sounds, colors, mantras, yantras, vibrations, visualizations, and kundalini force, are used in tantric meditation. All of it serves this spiritual practice to produce profoundly altering effects on the human mind and body.  

Every form of energy creates a resonance inside of us that might produce unique and powerful outcomes. After all, a tantric meditation is a very personal experience that can feel very different from one person to another. 

Tantric practice says that by engaging in genuine spiritual practice, we may elevate our awareness and transform our soul. In this philosophy, our only real mission as humans is to transform our spiritual journey.  

 

Key Techniques in Tantric Meditation

If you’re interested in trying your first tantric meditation, there are a few terms you’ll need to learn first. Frequency and the way these techniques are applied in tantric meditation can differ from one teacher to another, yet they will result in valuable experiences while practicing this type of meditation. 

 

Breathwork 

Also known as Pranayama, breathwork refers to the conscious breathing that awakens energy within us. Breathwork is a foundational practice in tantric meditation that uses conscious breathing techniques to regulate energy, calm the mind, and connect the body to the present moment. 

By shifting the rhythm, depth, and direction of the breath, you can activate the nervous system, release emotional blockages, and create space for more profound awareness and inner stillness. In tantric practices, breath becomes a guide and a gateway to help you anchor in the present moment. 

 

Mantras and Mudras 

In tantric meditation, mantras and mudras are powerful tools used to focus the mind, awaken subtle energy, and create a sacred inner space. A mantra is a sacred sound, word, or phrase repeated during meditation to help concentrate the mind and align with specific vibrational qualities.

Mudras, on the other hand, are symbolic hand gestures that direct the flow of energy in the body. Each mudra forms an energetic circuit, helping to reinforce the intention of your meditation. Together, mantras and mudras create a multi-sensory meditation experience of sound, vibration, breath, and body, all weaving together to support your transformation.

 

Visualizations 

Visualization involves forming mental images during meditation to direct focus and energy. Rather than emptying the mind, tantric practice often fills it intentionally with sacred forms, light, or energy centers to weave body, mind, and spirit together.

This might be tricky for those who have never tried a similar exercise before. However, visualizations can really be powerful even when used outside the meditation. Use visualizations that matter to you and that seem most natural. 

 

Energy Awareness

Energy awareness is something that will depend solely on the person doing the tantric meditation. You will want to allow yourself to feel any sensations arising during the meditation. Tantra teaches to allow anything to express itself through the body, whether we see it as a positive or negative sensation. 

 

Benefits of Tantric Meditation

There are many benefits to practicing tantric meditation. The more often you practice it, the more you will become aware of all these perks. Tantric meditation helps you feel your emotions fully without judgment. This is something we often avoid in daily life, but having a practice that allows us to explore our emotions can improve our overall well-being. 

Through breathwork, visualization, and energy practices, buried emotions like grief, anger, shame, or fear can gently surface and move through the body. You might cry during a practice, feel warmth in your chest, or release tension from your gut. Instead of analyzing emotions mentally, Tantra teaches you to feel and liberate them somatically, which can lead to deep healing over time.

Tantra emphasizes radical presence. It asks you to slow down, tune in, and listen to your inner world. Over time, this technique helps form a more honest, compassionate relationship with yourself. You become more attuned to your needs, boundaries, and desires. 

This self-awareness naturally translates into relationships. You may find yourself communicating more openly, holding space for others more patiently, or connecting more deeply, whether platonically, romantically, or sexually.

 

Work with a Trusted Tantric Practitioner

To get the most out of Tantra, work with a skilled practitioner. After all, tantric massage is not just a regular massage. It requires additional knowledge and experience that other meditation teachers might not possess. If you prefer, you can also try tantric meditation at home on your own. The results can help you decide whether this practice is something you’d like to continue doing in the future. With time, you can join other meditation groups with tantric practices and make the most of this ancient yogic tradition.

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Silent Divorce Trend: Living Together, Growing Apart

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Silent Divorce Trend: Living Together, Growing Apart

 

You probably know what silent divorce stands for; you just weren’t familiar with the name. Silent divorce refers to a married couple who live together yet are not emotionally connected anymore. The reasons for staying together can vary from finances to not being willing to make such a change in your life. Whatever it is, there has been a rise in silent divorces across the US. 

Although it is becoming more common, we’re rarely talking about silent divorce. It is taboo, resulting in a lack of support for people experiencing it. What are your options if you’re in a silent divorce? How can you ensure you feel supported throughout this experience? Let’s explore it together. 

 

What Is a Silent Divorce?

Silent divorce differs from the traditional divorce concept you have in mind. Both have the same or similar causes, yet their direction is not the same. Being in a silent divorce doesn’t imply that the couple is initiating a legal divorce. So, what is a silent divorce?

It is a phase of a marriage in which both partners have lost emotional connection to each other, including physical intimacy, and still live together. Unlike many misconceptions, silent divorce has nothing to do with cheating. The phase your marriage is in has nothing to do with the third person. It is just a result of an emotional distance between you and your spouse. ‘

 

“I see many clients who indicate they feel like they are a roommate instead of a partner,” indicates Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, owner of Life Coaching and Therapy.

“This issue has become more commonplace since the COVID-19 pandemic and continues to be a leading problem among couples today,” adds Pasciucco. 

 

This emotional distance includes mental and often physical disengagement. It can show up as a lack of interest in your partner’s activities, emotions, or whereabouts. Couples going through a silent divorce can also experience a lack of communication, shared goals, and engagement in each other’s lives in general. 

 

Common Causes of Silent Divorce

While each marriage is unique, we can identify certain factors that commonly lead to silent divorces. One of the most common reasons for a silent divorce is emotional neglect. Both partners are neglecting each other and are not interested in each other’s emotional needs. They are not behaving this way to hurt each other or to prove a point. Emotional neglect is two-directional and is a result of a lack of interest in each other, not an external factor. 

Almost all silent divorces are characterized by poor communication habits. This doesn’t have to imply that the couple was communicating poorly prior to this phase. On the contrary, the couple could have been close before, sharing secrets and talking about each other’s emotions and personal experiences. 

Another cause of silent divorce is unresolved conflicts or resentment. For whatever reason, the couple hasn’t worked on these issues, or they haven’t found an efficient solution. Over time, this situation caused the couple to grow apart and cease functioning as a team. 

Also, life transitions such as children, aging parents, and career shifts can lead to silent divorce. You may have different views on these topics, or you may have changed over the years due to these events. 

 

The Hidden Impact of Silent Divorce 

Just because the emotional distance is mutual, it doesn’t make it a pleasant experience. It can be quite challenging not to be intimate with the person who used to mean everything to you. It takes time to get used to the new dynamics in the house, and you may both find it difficult to adapt. 

There could be a variety of feelings, including anxiety, loneliness, and low self-esteem. You might worry about how your behavior affects your children and other family members. Over time, you may experience some health symptoms, particularly in relation to your physical and mental well-being. Because of this, it’s critical to get help before you feel overburdened. 

During this time, speaking with a reputable mental health therapist can make you feel more supported. Therapy can also make you more aware of what is in your control and what is not, which is especially important if you have kids.

Keep in mind that, although a silent divorce is a better alternative than marriage with a lot of arguing and stress, it is not the best solution for either of you. Staying together because of financial issues or family stability can backfire emotionally and create more damage than good for everyone involved. 

 

Are You in a Silent Divorce?

If you’re uncertain whether your marriage is going through a silent divorce or something else, there is a quick self-assessment exercise you can do to find out. The exercise consists of a list of questions or indicators that you can answer. Your spouse is not required to do this exercise with you. 

Ask yourself the following questions to assess your marriage situation: 

  • Do you feel more like roommates than lovers?
  • Do you avoid meaningful conversations?
  • Is there emotional or physical intimacy?
  • Do you feel you must hide things from them, as they wouldn’t want to be disturbed? 

You can answer these questions in writing or use them to think about the current situation. You can share this list of questions and your answers with your partner if you think it will help.

 

Conclusion

It will depend on you two as to how your situation develops in the future. You might both decide to seek marital counseling and work on the underlying problems or conflicts that have been present for years. You might choose to live apart to figure out what you want. Some couples decide to try reconnecting through shared activities before thinking about separating or divorcing. 

During this experience, it’s crucial to take care of yourself. Doing your best to save or end your marriage shouldn’t cost you your well-being. If you have kids, they should see that their parents are emotionally stable even in difficult times. Being true to yourself will lead you to the best option, whether that’s staying together or divorcing. Lastly, be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. The same goes for your spouse. You can only function as a team, even in the final act, when both of you prioritize your personal needs. Prioritize yourself today by scheduling a session. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Situationship Definition: How to Know If You’re In One? 

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Situationship Definition: How to Know If You’re In One? 

 

It’s certainly a word you’ve heard so many times already, yet the situationship definition is unclear to most of us. We can say that a situationship is a stage between dating and entering a relationship. However, it’s important to note that for most of us, situationship has a somewhat negative connotation. Why does it have a negative connotation?

Finding yourself in a situationship means that it has unique conditions and can’t be called a relationship because of these conditions. These conditions can differ from one example to another. Recognizing that you’re in a situationship is the first step to understanding your options. Let’s look at common signs of situationships and what to do if you’re not happy to be in one.

Situationship Signs

It’s not uncommon to find yourself wondering if you’re still just dating someone, in a situation, or in a relationship. You might think that these three are actually different stages couples go through, but the boundaries between them can be unclear.

If you’re searching for the situationship definition to make sense of where you stand, know that it often includes a lack of commitment and clear labels. As the name implies, there are reasons you and the other person aren’t as committed as you would be in a relationship. If you’re both fine with seeing each other, that’s completely okay. However, if your or your partner’s needs or desires aren’t met, you might want to change your current situation.

When it comes to common situationship signs, these are the ones to look for:

  • Lack of labels (e.g., exclusive relationship, open relationship)

  • Inconsistent communication

  • No discussions about the future

  • Making last-minute plans

  • Lack of integration in each other’s life

  • The main connection between you two is physical

  • You feel confused and anxious about meeting them or asking them about your status

  • You avoid serious conversations

  • You worry about them dating other people

 

The Emotional Impact of Situationships

As we’ve said, if you prefer seeing someone without the commitment of being a couple, situationships might be good for you. You could call it a situationship or casual dating—whatever makes you feel better.

But understanding the situationship definition can also highlight why some people feel emotionally drained in these arrangements. There are different emotions you could experience from being in a situationship. If you’re pleased to be in one, you could feel excitement, fun, and freedom. Being able to have fun with a person you like without serious conversations or labels might be just what you need right now.

On the other hand, if you feel stuck in a situationship, you might feel uncertain about your self-esteem. Your self-esteem may also suffer as a result. Being unable to talk about how you feel about the situation you’re in could lead to anxiety. You might fear that expressing your needs could result in them leaving you. Instead, even though this arrangement does not feel right or healthy for you, you choose to keep it up without saying a word.

 

Deciding What You Want

Before you initiate a conversation with the other person, you have to be clear about what you want. Take a moment to really understand your current needs. A few weeks ago, you were maybe interested in something with no strings attached. Now, you might feel that you want to either stop seeing this person or move to the next step in your relationship. Whatever it is, ensure you’re clear about your intentions to make the conversation as efficient as possible.

If you’re not that clear on what you want, ask yourself a few questions that could help you clarify it, such as:

  • Am I satisfied with the current situation?

  • Do I want or need more to be fulfilled in this area of my life?

  • Is the situation negatively affecting my well-being in any way?

  • Do I enjoy spending time with this person, and is the time we spend together enough for me?

Responding to these questions can help you understand better what you need and what you want from the other person. Then, bring up the topic when it seems most convenient for both of you. Ask them if they’re okay with talking now or if they’d like to schedule a time for that conversation in the following days.

 

Making the Most of Your Situationship

If you’ve decided you’re more than okay with your current status, there is no reason to change a thing. If you’re both happy and okay with the no-strings dynamic, just enjoy it.

However, make sure you’re both respecting each other and being honest about things that matter. As long as your situation is enjoyable, it needs to feel like a safe space to address any changes or doubts you might have.

Communication is also key, even in situationships that are mostly fulfilling their need for physical connection. Consentual and emotionally healthy communication will help you make your relationship as sustainable as you want it to be. If you notice over time that your perspective on it has changed, knowing it’s okay to bring it up with that person will make things a lot easier.

 

Not Every Situationship Is the Same

Sometimes, situationships happen because both sides are not communicating clearly, yet they both want to be in a relationship with each other. Some people might also prefer something casual over entering a relationship they are not ready for.

That’s why knowing the situationship definition is only part of the journey—what really matters is how you feel about your unique connection. Assess your situation well, and don’t compare it to anyone else’s.

How you feel and what you think about it should be enough to understand if this is the right choice for you at the moment. If you want clarity, connection, and commitment, you have every right to ask for it. Even if you’re deeply enjoying the dynamic you’ve created, it’s beneficial to express your feelings and listen to the other person’s perspective.

If you want more, don’t settle for less than what feels emotionally safe and fulfilling. Every person has the right to be happy, and the path to that is understanding what makes you happy!

If you want to start your journey, make an appointment today!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is Physical Touch? Unlock the Power of this Love Language

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What Is Physical Touch? Unlock the Power of this Love Language

 

What is physical touch, you ask? Well, what if I told you that something as simple as a little touch could transform the way you and your partner connect? Yep, it’s that powerful — and I’m here to spill all the details!

In this video, I’m breaking down physical touch as a love language — what it really means (hint: it’s waaay more than just sex!) and how you can start using it right now to make your relationship feel warmer, closer, and more passionate. Think hand-holding during a walk, cuddling on the couch while watching your favorite show, a gentle back rub after a long day — even a playful little nudge in the kitchen while you’re making dinner together.

When physical touch is your love language (or your partner’s), these small gestures aren’t just nice — they’re essential. They help build trust, reduce stress, and release feel-good hormones like oxytocin, deepening your emotional bond.

So, whether you’re looking to reignite that spark or simply want to feel more connected on a daily basis, learning how to “speak” this physical touch love language can open up a whole new world of intimacy. Let’s unlock that magic together — your relationship deserves all the warm fuzzies!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop Being Codependent & Have Healthy Relationships

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How to Stop Being Codependent & Have Healthy Relationships

 

The answer to the question, ‘How to stop being codependent?’ is not straightforward. After all, developing codependency takes time, just as becoming more independent in your relationships does. All human beings exhibit certain types of codependent behaviors, especially during our childhood years. While growing up, we learn to become more independent in areas that feel safe, such as doing homework or riding a bike. 

As much as we become independent adults, we will still seek connection and support from people in our lives, which is beneficial in many ways. Codependency, on the other hand, implies a dysfunctional dynamic in a relationship. It could mean that one person prioritizes the needs and desires of the other person over their own. It could also mean they need someone else’s approval before acting or saying something. 

In codependency, both sides are enabling each other’s unhealthy behaviors. That is why the solution to codependency is not as simple as we’d like it to be. Instead, it’s essential to understand why someone is codependent, what they receive from it, and which healthy alternatives they can implement in these areas.

 

Codependency Explained 

Some might refer to codependency as relationship addiction, while others might call it toxic relationships. Although these terms have much in common with codependency, they are not synonyms. We’ll say that a relationship is toxic when we can clearly see unhealthy behavior or the dynamics of that couple. 

However, codependency will most probably not look toxic to you at first. People often mistake codependency for care, where one partner takes care of the other. Codependents expect others to care for them because they can’t do it themselves. 

The following key characteristics provide the best explanation of codependency:

  • Unhealthy dependence: Codependent people often have an unhealthy level of dependence on each other, whether it’s for approval, validation, security, or self-worth. 
  • Prioritizing others’ needs: In a codependent relationship, each person will prioritize the needs of the other instead of their own, most often at their expense. 
  • Enabling unhealthy behaviors: Both sides will enable codependency in each other through unhealthy behaviors, such as addiction, poor mental health, irresponsibility, or immaturity. 
  • Weak or lack of boundaries: Codependent partners will have issues setting and respecting boundaries. 
  • Fear of abandonment: To avoid being alone, a person with codependent behaviors will do anything to make the other person stay in their life. 
  • Low self-esteem: Those stuck in a codependent relationship often have low self-esteem and believe they don’t deserve anything positive or beautiful, so they focus on maintaining the status quo of their relationship instead of growing together. 

 

Causes of Codependency

By going through the main characteristics of codependency, you might also get an idea of its common causes. Mostly, codependency stems from early childhood experiences. This means that children in dysfunctional families tend to become codependent adults. Growing up in a home with a lack of boundaries, low self-esteem, or prioritizing family needs over their own, a person will most probably repeat the same patterns in their relationships. 

That is why it’s essential to become aware of what caused your codependency. In most cases, the answer appears during childhood. These causes can be:

  • Abuse
  • Neglect
  • Unhealthy family roles
  • Overprotective/underprotective parenting 
  • Insecure attachment 
  • Lack of self-worth 
  • Unresolved trauma
  • Substance abuse
  • Chronic illness
  • Cultural and social factors

 

How Can You Stop Being Codependent 

If you want your friendships and romantic relationships to be healthier, learning how to stop being codependent is essential. Follow the steps below to work on your codependency and consider talking to a therapist. Therapy is a good way to learn about your codependency, its effects on your relationships, and alternatives. 

 

1.Get to Know Your Codependency

When we’re talking about the parts of us we don’t like so much, we tend to run away from them, thinking it might set us free. However, you can’t run away from something that is a part of you. Instead, you need to befriend it and learn all about it. 

Why are you codependent? How does the habit benefit you? What are your first memories of codependent behavior? Answering these questions can help you understand the dynamics of your relationships. You can explore many techniques to get to know this part of you. 

Consider giving that codependent part of you a name and talking to it. If you don’t want to do that, you can write down how you feel and what you need. It might feel awkward at first. After all, you’re doing it for the first time. 

 

2.Think of Alternatives for Your Codependent Behaviors

Unbelievably, your codependency solely prioritizes your well-being! For example, your fear of abandonment led to creating several techniques to ensure such an event doesn’t happen in the future. Unfortunately, these techniques are exhausting and detrimental to your well-being. 

Instead, you could set a goal of spending quality time with yourself once a week. The task could involve picking up an old hobby, practicing mindfulness, dancing to your favorite music, or anything else you like. By learning to enjoy your alone time, you will remind yourself that you don’t depend on others to have a good time. 

The same goes for anything else you’ve realized while learning about your codependency. If you struggle with setting boundaries, these issues can be your focus. First, determine which values are most important for you in your relationships. For instance, if you appreciate punctuality, communicate it to your friends and romantic partner. Ask them to respect your time and share your boundaries with them. 

This means you can leave after waiting 15 minutes or only meet when they can hang out with you. 

 

3.Consider Therapy

This work might be overwhelming, so talking to a mental health professional could greatly help. A therapist can guide you through the process of understanding and reducing your codependency. Such an approach can benefit those who can’t find the right methods to get to know their codependency. 

With a therapist, you will look closely at your relationships to see the common dynamic. Occasionally, all we need is someone asking the right question to trigger a train of thoughts that lead to valuable conclusions. You can also become aware of your codependency and work in parallel with a therapist. You can even ask them to give you homework after each session to maximize the value of the therapy. 

Conclusion

Learning how to stop being codependent is the first step toward becoming more independent and building healthy, fulfilling relationships. It might take time, yet it’s possible. Once you realize your codependent behaviors, you’ll see things improve, whether you work on it alone or with a therapist. With each step, you will feel more confident and motivated to pursue relationships that reflect your inner state. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Compliments for Women to Make Them Feel Unique

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Compliments for Women to Make Them Feel Unique

 

Being kind to one another through words makes this world a nicer place, yet compliments for women often differ a lot from the ones for men. Saying something thoughtful to a woman can brighten her day, boost her self-esteem, and motivate her to do the same for someone else. 

If you struggle with words, you may find it challenging to say something that works. You would rather not seem rude or pushy, nor do you want to confuse them with your compliment. That is why we’ve decided to gather useful tips about giving compliments, such as appropriate moments and follow-up steps. At the end of the article, we’re sharing a list of compliments that will make every woman feel special.

 

When and Where to Give Compliments to Women 

Compliments are often more than welcome. However, not every compliment will be appropriate in every situation. For instance, it’s not appropriate for a boss to compliment their employee’s physique. Even if it’s said with the best intentions, some compliments could be counterproductive, depending on the place and time. 

If you want your compliment to be received as intended, you will need to pay attention to the circumstances. If the woman you want to compliment is busy, stressed, worried, or facing a challenge, it might not be the best time to compliment her. Better wait for a more adequate moment. You can even express your admiration of how she handled that particular situation. 

When it comes to the right place to give a compliment, make sure it’s an environment where she feels safe and relaxed. Avoid places like offices, institutions, public transport, or any other location where she might feel uncomfortable with other people. 

 

Before and After the Compliment 

There will be some interaction before and after the compliment, which can either benefit or harm the compliment itself. Just imagine saying something kind to someone and then not knowing how to continue the conversation. It will surely have a negative impact on the conversation. 

To become an expert in giving women compliments, you will need to know how to guide the conversation toward the compliment. You will also need to continue talking to the woman of your interest after you give the compliment. That is why it’s important to say something that suits your style of communication and doesn’t make you feel awkward while saying it. 

So, before you decide to give a compliment to someone, assess the situation. Is it the right time to say something? Will the compliment be received as intended? If the answer is negative, it’s better to postpone the compliment. 

There are many ways to express a compliment. You can try one of the following ways:

  • Tell it face-to-face.
  • Write it on a card and attach it to a box of chocolates or a similar tiny gift.
  • Add it to your email message. 
  • Write a long letter expressing your feelings of gratitude or admiration. 

 

Compliments for Women

Now that we’ve covered the technical details of giving compliments to women, let’s take a look at some of the compliments you should consider. They are organized by the occasion, so make sure you choose the appropriate ones.

 

Appreciation for Their Work and Dedication

If you want to give a compliment that conveys your appreciation for someone’s work and dedication, it should be as specific as possible. Avoid generic phrases and specify what you noticed and admired about them.

 

Instead of saying, You did great work on your last project. 

Consider saying, I loved how you were organized these last months. You were the reason why the project was successful; you kept track of every tiny detail. 

 

Other compliments for this situation might be:

  • Your presentation was incredibly insightful. The research you did was helpful in understanding the matter better.
  • Your problem-solving skills are what make our team grow each day. Do you remember how you handled that situation a while ago?
  • You’ve come a long way since you joined the company. Watching you grow and manage projects, such as *mention several projects*, is remarkable and inspiring!

 

Friendly Compliments 

If your goal is to show someone how much you appreciate them as a person or respect your friendship, your compliments should be more personal. After all, just think of the reasons why someone is your best friend. These reasons are probably not generic at all. 

 

Instead of saying, You’re a really great friend. 

 

Consider saying, Your friendship helped me through difficult times. Do you remember that piece of advice you gave me when we talked about *mention a topic*? It really stuck with me and motivated me to go forward. 

 

Other compliments you can give to women to show appreciation for their friendship could be:

  • Although we’re different, I learn every day from you. You inspire me to consider different perspectives and implement ideas that I would never think of on my own.
  • I think it’s really admirable how you have time to listen to me, even when you’re busy. It shows me that friendships like ours are valuable to both of us, and we’ll never take them for granted. 

 

Romantic Compliments

Usually, we think about complimenting people we like or love. Whether this person knows how we feel or not, compliments help us express our admiration. Compliments can make your partner’s day, even in long-term partnerships or marriages. Just like we’ve explained with previous compliment types, make sure your compliments are unique. 

 

Instead of saying, I like you a lot.

Consider saying, I’ve been thinking about you ever since *mention the first moment you developed feelings for them*. The way you talk about the things you’re passionate about, such as *mention an example*, is really contagious. I guess that passion is the reason why I can’t stop thinking about you. 

 

Other romantic compliments to say to someone you like:

  • I love the dress you’re wearing. It really goes so nicely with the color of your eyes.
  • Is there something different about you today? You look incredible. 
  • You know how to make me laugh! I have often said that a good sense of humor is the most attractive trait in a woman. 

 

If you want to give compliments to your wife, consider the following examples: 

  • I love waking up next to your beautiful face. 
  • My favorite sound is your voice. 
  • I’m lucky to grow old with you.
  • You are my favorite person in the world.

 

Make sure your compliments are appropriate and respectful. Even words with the best intentions can be counterproductive if you’re not saying them at the right time or in the right way. Lastly, make sure that these compliments feel natural to you when you say them. Speaking from your heart, with consent from the other, is the best policy! 

Do you want to start your communication journey? Get your guide here.  

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is True Love In A Relationship?

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What Is True Love In A Relationship?

 

Numerous songs, poems, and books were written in an attempt to respond to the question: What is true love in a relationship? We all think we know love, yet recognizing it may not be as easy as it seems. We love different people in different ways. We also build romantic relationships differently from our friends or family members. Is it possible, then, to answer the question of what true love in a relationship is? 

The short answer is yes. True love is based on certain pillars, and without them, the relationship wouldn’t be considered healthy. If you want to understand what it means to be in a healthy, loving relationship, we’ve explained it in detail below. 

 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Before we talk about what true love is, let’s compare healthy and unhealthy relationships first. Toxic relationships are those in which one or both partners act or speak harmfully to each other. For instance, signs of a toxic relationship would include going through your partner’s phone or insulting them during a discussion. 

That said, keep in mind that healthy relationships are not perfect either. It doesn’t mean that partners will never yell at each other or do something they’ll regret later. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is the way you and your partner deal with such situations. Do you learn from them? Do you ask for forgiveness? Do you do your best not to repeat that same mistake?

Partners in unhealthy relationships are not interested in growing together. Due to their treatment of each other, everything stays the same — or worse. They don’t work on improving destructive areas of their relationship. Instead, they blame each other. They blame each other for feeling a certain way or doing a certain thing. In a healthy relationship, the partners work together as a team. In an unhealthy relationship, partners will see each other as opponents.

 

Foundations of Healthy Relationships

It might be simple for you to understand what toxic relationships are. After all, there is so much online content about red flags in dating and relationships that it’s easy to compare that list against your relationship. Some signs might be obvious, while others might not be so obvious.

On the other hand, defining a healthy, loving relationship is a bit trickier. Just because a relationship is not toxic doesn’t make it true love. In other words, there are certain things such relationships need to have in common. Without it, the relationship will either not last long, or it won’t reach a deeper level of intimacy, which is the main requirement for true love. 

 

Accountability 

As much as accountability doesn’t sound romantic, it is one of the main foundations of true love. In this context, responsibilities go much further than creating separate to-do lists and being in charge of certain activities in a relationship.  Accountability refers to being responsible for your actions, words, and emotions. 

If both partners are accountable for themselves, it becomes easier to celebrate wins and face challenges together. In an unhealthy relationship, one partner will blame the other or have expectations that the other can’t meet. When both partners become responsible for themselves, they are able to grow together without being each other’s obstacle. 

 

Freedom 

Freedom might be another word you don’t understand when talking about true love. The best way to describe freedom is to give yourself and your partner the space and time needed to be your authentic selves. As long as you can express, do, and feel whatever you want, so should your partner. 

By saying that, keep in mind that your freedom shouldn’t harm the other person. Freedom allows you to explore a range of possibilities and choose the one that seems best for you. When we are free and happy, we make others happy, including our loved ones. 

 

Respect 

Every relationship should be based on respect. Respecting yourself and your partner is essential for your relationship to work. Where there is a lack of respect, true love will also be absent. You cannot love somebody and not have respect for them. Respect implies that you will treat the other person with politeness. In relationships, respect also implies your admiration for the other person.

When we don’t feel respected, it’s difficult to give our best to someone else. We start to isolate ourselves from those who don’t respect us. We put energy into protecting ourselves from them. Instead of becoming closer, the lack of respect distances people from each other. 

 

Common Objective

A healthy, loving relationship is like a team. Two players work together toward a common goal. Relationship goals don’t have to be material or physical, although most couples will have such aspirations for their future. Examples might be buying their first home together, getting married, or getting pregnant. 

Your common objective can be to learn about each other’s love language to support each other better. Or, you might want to address a certain issue that’s been present in your relationship for a while, so you seek a couples therapist. As a couple, you can have as many objectives as you want, both big and small. Being aware of your motivation to pursue that goal and being on the same page are crucial. 

 

Conclusion

Love is what makes relationships stable, long-lasting, and thriving. Loving someone and receiving love from that person not only helps you grow your relationship. You also grow as a person. Healthy relationships allow us to feel safe, regardless of what life throws at us. 

If you’re currently in a relationship and experiencing difficulties, keep in mind the foundation we previously discussed. Accountability, freedom, respect, and having common objectives can help you build a stronger, more profound relationship. If you feel like you need guidance, reach out to a couples therapist. Investing time and energy in your relationship is the best investment you can make for yourself, too. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Repair a Relationship: Steps That Actually Work

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How to Repair a Relationship: Steps That Actually Work

 

You’re here because something feels off. Maybe she’s pulling away. Maybe he’s been quiet. Maybe the vibe just isn’t vibing anymore, and your gut is telling you it’s time to do something before this thing slips through your fingers.

But don’t worry—you don’t need a stack of self-help books or a degree in emotional decoding. You just need a few minutes and the video below.

Seriously. This isn’t just another relationship article with vague advice like “communicate more” and “go on a date night.” This video breaks down real steps that actually work when things get messy—when you feel disconnected, misunderstood, or like you’re stuck in the same argument on loop. It’s clear, honest, and full of lightbulb moments. You’ll walk away thinking, “Ohhhh… that’s what’s been happening.”

If you’re wondering how to repair a relationship that’s drifting or tense, this is the place to begin. It’s not about grand gestures or overhauls—it’s about subtle shifts and honest moments that build back trust, bit by bit.

So before you dive into the written tips (they’re coming, promise!), hit play. Let the video lead the way. Let it be your guide, your reality check, and maybe even your relationship’s turning point.

Knowing how to repair a relationship isn’t just about fixing—it’s about understanding. Understanding where things went sideways, how to show up differently, and how to reconnect with intention.

Grab a cup of something warm, take a deep breath, and let’s start there.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.