Sex Games for Couples

Advanced Sex Games for Couples

Advanced Sex Games for Couples

 

It’s time to have some fun and talk about easy sex games for couples you can use to keep things new and playful with your partners!

We’re all stressed out right now. Most of us are quarantined at home, worried about the coronavirus and the latest news on shutdowns and phased openings. Frankly, it can be overwhelming. When stress enters our lives, it distracts us from what we should be focused on. That includes the people we love and those we want to have sex with!

In my time with clients during the pandemic, sometimes the little problems or inequalities in our sexual relationships become larger. One person wants sex all of the time to take their mind off what’s going on, and another partner isn’t thinking about sex because they’re trying to hold it all together.

Sex games are the perfect way to lighten the mood and connect with your partner on a different level than what you’re accustomed to.

Here are some Kink/BDSM games and tantra tips that you can use immediately to shake things up.

 

What Is Kink and BDSM?

BDSM is thought of as a kinky and non-traditional sexual activity. 

What’s non-traditional, you might ask? 

As a long-time sex therapist, I probably have a different idea of what “normal” sex looks like than most people.

I think everyone has some type of kink, whether it be a sexual fantasy, a certain type of body shape, or some sexual power dynamic that really gets them off. I’m here to say, that’s totally OK!

Exploring your kink means you’re diving into what sex can do for you and how you feel the best with yourself and your sexual partners. Everyone’s into something, just most people are not into everything.

BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) is the intersection where power dynamics and sexuality meet. Yes, there are typically toys and props like whips, chains, leashes, and other things involved. Some people love being tied up. Those are merely props. The main thing is the intention and the power play at work with the people having sex.

 

Sex Games for Couples New to BDSM

If you’re exploring your kink and want to give BDSM a try, here’s a game for you. It’s a fun and light game that will help introduce the idea of being powerful at times and submissive at others. What it involves is writing down certain parts of your body like back, lips, nipples, or thighs.

Then, on a different set of papers, you write out certain actions like a blow, suck, lick, or caress. Get creative! You and your partner take turns pulling one item from each list. So, you might get lick – nipples, and then have to lick your partner's nipples and so forth.

The BDSM part is you allowing your partner to have the power as you submit to their sexual act and vice versa.

 

Who’s Calling the Shots?

Flipping the switch with who’s in charge during sex is another fun BDSM game that will ease you into the dominant/submissive world. It’s a simple concept.

At one- or two-minute intervals, you and your partner flip a coin to decide who is calling the shots. When you’re in charge, anything goes, and the same goes for when your partner’s boss. Of course, you should agree to some boundaries before playing with BDSM, so you both can feel safe exploring your sexuality.

 

Getting Deeper Into the BDSM World

As you become more comfortable in the BDSM world, you can start to introduce props into sex. Things like blindfolds, chains, ropes, whips, and other props sharpen the physical and emotional power dynamic during sex.

One great game to play with props is to tie your partner up and blindfold them, making them totally under your control. You can use vibrators to tantalize and tease them, slowing or speeding the pace of how turned on they are.

How far you’ll go will depend on your and your partner’s kink level. As you mess around with humiliation and degradation, you open yourself to new sexual experiences.

 

What Is Tantra?

Tantra is Sanskrit for weaving the energy between lovers. It emphasizes a very deep level of physical and emotional sexual connection.

Breathing is a big part of tantra. It’s the number one thing you need to be mindful of when you’re practicing tantric sex. You want it to be cyclical. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Sound also plays a big role. When I went to the Hawaii Tantra Festival, I realized how important sound is in sex. Different sounds elicit different reactions. We use different voices with friends, children, and pets, so why not our sexual partners?

Pay attention to the noises you make during sex. Why are you keeping your voice down? Do you feel comfortably letting out a loud moan when a touch fills you up? Explore the sounds you make. The sexual experience includes grunts, moans, requests, and make the sounds we want to.

 

Tantra Sex Games for Couples

Tantra games start early. You can begin by being touchy and flirty on a date or early in the day as you let your partner know you’re up for some fun later on. Here are a few fun tantric sex activities to try.

Massages - A massage table and some high-quality oils are a great way to teach each other how you like to be touched. You can lay your partner on the bed or the massage table and caress their body slowly with oils.

Your hands can eventually find their way to your partner’s breasts, vagina, or penis as the massage continues. You can even use your body instead of your hands for the massage. Climb up on the bed or table and, as you straddle over your partner, rub them with your chest, abdomen, and legs.

Eventually, you and your partner won’t be able to stand it anymore and you’ll move straight into some amazing, oily sex.

Striptease – Switch up the sexual routine by ordering your partner to lay on the bed and face you. Stand at the foot of the bed and begin to move side to side as you take off your clothing piece by piece. Extra points if you turn on some music to set the mood and already have on some sexy underwear before things heat up.

Finger Tracing – Grab your partner’s hands and show them where you like to be touched. Spend at least ten minutes guiding their hands around your arms, neck, thighs, butt, and other places that turn you on. Teach them, as you control your breathing, how to stimulate you and ask them to do the same for you.

Sex games for couples offer so much fun and pleasure for everyone. Learn the art of scheduling time for pleasure to take mood out of the game. When both of you know what’s on the table for sex, it makes offering consent and buy-in easier. Stop living with the idea that arousal lives outside of yourself and accept responsibility for your pleasure.

Ultimately, it will make sex games more rewarding and create an incredibly strong sexual bond between you and your partner.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


dealing with anxiety

Dealing with Anxiety During Sex

Dealing with Anxiety During Sex

 

Some people are dealing with anxiety while they are having sex and it isn’t anything to be concerned about. 

Actually, dealing with anxiety, especially while in the bedroom, is more common than you think! 

Looking into places like AASECT, you will see there are thousands of sex therapists nationally certified to help you while you are dealing with anxiety. 

I’m going to tell you my favorite method, and as a psychotherapist, something that truly helps you. 

 

Deepening Emotional Knowledge: 

🔻Do you find it difficult to get the kind of pleasure you desire or hear about? 

🔻How often does dealing with anxiety during sex keep you from climax? 

🔻Are others around you trying to repress or express their emotions on you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable? 

🔻Do you ever feel triggered by a situation, yet only when trying to experience orgasm with a partner? 

dealing with anxiety

Not understanding how to manage your emotions can prevent pleasure on multiple levels. 

Dealing with anxiety during sex can literally can rob you of an orgasm. 

Noticing your emotions and the way your TONE of voice affects others around you when you are feeling different emotions is important aspect for pleasure within partnered sex.

If there is a perception of shame, blame, or denigration in your voice because you are feeling sad or fearful or pressured, your tone is still your responsibility to address on the impact it has - especially in partnered sex. 

It is delicate and intimate, thus we want to be tender and gracious to those around us, so we can strengthen the bond. 

If you don’t know how to feel your emotions fully, OR if you don’t know how to handle emotional intensity without breaking into tears, it’s time to understand your own emotional intelligence. 

FIRST, learning to notice emotions and where they are in the body. 

This skillset goes beyond learning just the emotional names though. 

Not only will you learn to name emotions, you will have to integrate emotional intelligence into your daily life and into your body. 

We cannot talk about sex without discussing the body. 

Instead of speeding up the sex, let’s learn to slow it down. 

Instead of having mood based sex, where you are looking for your desire to lead the sex, look for your mind, body, and emotions to lead to eros of intimacy, which leads to great sex. 

Be mindful of your emotions! dealing with anxiety

Learn to identify them! Draw them out in your body! 

    • Fear - lets you know to slow down. Lets you know that there is possible danger. 
    • Anger - lets us know that a boundary has been crossed. That we need to renegotiate a limit.
    • Sadness - lets us know that something is important. It tells us that we are feeling a loss.
    • Joy - lets us know that something is nourishing for us. 

 

No matter if you are single, or have been married for 30 years… there is work to be done often that began in your childhood or younger years. 

Instead of being told to suppress or express your emotions onto others, this is a reclamation of consciousness and self-awareness. 

As we get older, we are able to have more autonomy, and more integrity. 

When we choose to notice our emotions, our tone, and our impact on others, we begin to have new experiences.  

When we bring emotions like overwhelmed, tired, regretful, scared, or annoyed to the bedroom, your body responds to pleasure differently. 

Similarly, if you are dehydrated or hungry, your body will respond differently. Each part of you (the mind, body, soul, AND your emotions) all have a part to play in the connection. 

 

🔥 Emotional understanding is part of having awesome experiences - interpersonally and erotically. 🔥

 

If you are dealing with anxiety during sex, we know that we can help you. 

This is a speciality that some clinicians do not understand, yet we can help! 

Let us show you how! 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


sex games for couples

6 Unique Sex Games for Couples

6 Unique Sex Games for Couples

 

Sex games for couples are great way ease into your wilder sex side. They keep things playful as you explore your sexual fantasies.

Have you ever dreamed about being tied up to the bed or having whipped cream licked from your navel and felt too afraid to ask?

There’s just something about knowing it’s a game. It takes the pressure off. The mood is light and you both have permission to laugh when something’s funny or awkward.

 

Getting playful in bed is also a fantastic way to break out of your routine. Now, any type of sex can be good sex. If you’re stuck in a sex routine with your partner, put on your optimist glasses and be thankful you have a routine!

If you’re interested in throwing some new moves, positions, toys, or powerplay dynamics into your sex life, though, sex games for couples are a great way to do it. So, let’s take a look at some games you can play with your partner to start dipping a toe into a deeper level of sexual fantasy.

 

Sex Popsicles

Changes in temperature, both hot and cold, alter sensations. If you’re looking for a way to add a twist to the way things feel, then this one’s for you.

In sex popsicles, you and your partner use ice cubes, frozen fruit, whipped cream, or any other frozen item you love in conjunction with oral sex. As you push or tickle your partner’s vagina or penis, the cold temperatures add intensity to the sexual stimulation.

Oral Sex For Woman

You can play this game in the 69 position or take turns pleasuring each other. The cold intensity of the game adds a playful power dynamic into sex. You can see how long you and your partner can stand the cold.

 

Simple Truth or Dare Sex Games for Couples

Truth or dare is one of the classic sex game for couples. I tell clients that truth or dare works so well because it adds the veneer of game playing into the relationship.

You may not feel comfortable asking your partner to try anal sex or bondage play. Your partner may secretly want you to stimulate the clitoris differently than you’ve always done, and feels bad about asking.

With truth or dare, the insecurity barrier is taken down because you’re playing a game. Any request that may be “too out there” can be laughed off. It gives you room to express your sexual fantasy without damaging your partner’s ego.

 

The Fantasy Raffle

You’ve heard of a swear jar, what about a sex jar? In the fantasy raffle, you and your partner write down sexual requests on a slip of paper and place them in a jar.

When you’re both in the mood for a little game, you can draw one or two slips out of the jar for you to try in bed. The important part of this same game, and really any other sexual encounter, is to focus on meeting both of your needs.

That may not mean you’re both always picking sexual fantasies from the jar. If your partner’s in the mood, and you’re not, pick some fantasies out, and have some fun. You can save your turn for the next time.

 

The Porn Voiceover

This sex game for couples will get you in the mood with a little commentary. Add some fun to pornography watching together by turning off the sound before the video starts.

Each of you chooses a role in the video and you’re responsible for choosing their back story and what they’re saying in the scene. You’re sure to get some laughs as you heat things up with an adult video before sex.

 

Bondage Play

BDSM isn’t for everyone. The people who love it, though, really love it. The addition of power dynamics, the submission, and dominance, insert another layer of complexity into your sexual routine.

You can experiment with being dominant and submissive, and your partner does the same. It’s great when you can switch roles or settle into the role that you discover you love.

Being tied up or tying someone up is about control. When someone else is in charge of pleasing you sexually, the result is often better and more intense orgasms. On the other hand, there’s something so sexually charging about controlling someone else’s sexual experience.

Sex games for couples

An important thing with bondage play is to always have a safe word and to take it slowly. With BDSM, you want to push the limits without taking things too far. Too far is different for each person, so you’re going to have to find what’s right for you and your partner.

 

Mirror Porn

In mirror porn, you follow the leader. The leaders are the porn actors in the video you’re watching.

You and your partner watch a pornography scene and do your best to follow the storyline. When the actors change positions, you follow suit. When there’s some hair pulling, you do the same.

It’s a fun game because pornography is often so over the top. The sounds and movements are exaggerated, so you’re bound to have some laughs as you try to match the on-screen intensity.

 

Choose Your Toy Adventure

Hopefully, you’ve got a few sex toys in the closet you use regularly already. If not, that’s your first step. Get a good vibrator as soon as you can.

In this sex game, go shopping beforehand. We’re lucky right now because we have so many online options available. There are thousands of sex toys. Everything from bondage ropes, to anal plugs, to incredible shapes of vibrators and more.

Before you and your partner have sex, spread the toys out at the end of the bed. Each of you takes turns selecting toys and telling your partner how to use them.

As you change toys, it will shift the sexual arousal and the direction sex goes. Save the best toys for last to make sure intensity builds as you go. Throw in a toy that explores play on sexual fantasies you want to try as well.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


National Sex Day

7 Solo Sex Tips for All Adults on National Sex Day

7 Solo Sex Tips for All Adults on National Sex Day

 

Did you know there is a National Sex Day? Even though June 9 is not an official holiday, get a little creative with the date (6/9) and you’ll see why so many people have declared it a day of sex.

We’re trying to get the message out that this year’s National Sex Day is more important than ever. With everything that’s going on, and after spending months in quarantine and worried about the coronavirus, it’s time we all had some well-deserved sex! It’s the best stress reliever and releases much-needed endorphins that improve mental health.

Whether you’re flying solo or involved in a relationship with a partner or partners, we’re focused on solo sex this National Sex Day. Solo sex has several mental and physical benefits, and the better you get at it, there more benefits there are to be had.

Here are 7 tips for adults on how to have incredible solo sex on June 9. Let’s all join in and send out some positive sexual energy.

 

Get a Sex Toy!

Sex toys close the orgasm gap between men and women. In surveys, the majority of men, over 90% of them, report achieving orgasm, while only around 60% of women say the same. Sex toys close the gap between different people. With toys, everyone has a chance to have some fun.

Betty Dodson brought vibrators back onto the scene decades ago and solo sex has never been better. Get a magic wand with different settings that can be used on all parts of the body. They come with different attachments and even come wireless and waterproof.

You may also want to try putting on a blindfold. Yes, you hear that right, blindfolds are great for solo sex as well! With a sexy blindfold on, you’re shutting off your other senses and focusing on sexual touch. It’s easier to slip into a sexy fantasy or experiment with different breathing patterns and how they affect your orgasms.

Watch my video about sex toys here for more information:

 

Try Edging

If you’ve been in quarantine for months, chances are you’re ready to experiment with new ways to get more out of solo sex and your orgasms. Edging is a way to delay climax which ultimately ends with more intense and longer-lasting orgasms.

Edging is all about effort. It takes time to build that anticipation in your mind and body that explodes once you reach climax. You may spend your time masturbating to a fantasy or pornography, walking back from the edge just as you’re about to orgasm.

Part of the fun with edging is embracing the anxiety that you may lose the orgasm altogether. This risk-reward play raises the stakes of solo sex. It can also be a fantastic body control exercise that will help you in bed with partners.

 

Experimenting with Anal

Anal orgasms aren’t only for people with penises. All body types can experience pleasure with anal sex. People with vaginas often climax by stimulating themselves through the wall between the vagina and the rectum.

Make sure you have enough lube on hand to make entering nice and easy. Start by slowly massaging your opening to help your body relax before you insert any toys or fingers. Alternate between vertical and horizontal motions in your anus. Add speed and pressure as you become relaxed and comfortable.

 

Use a Mirror

Too many people are still struggling with body issues! If that’s you, take advantage of National Sex Day by sitting yourself in front of a mirror for a solo session.

With a mirror, you can explore your body and work on body acceptance. Massage yourself, use lotion or lube to get yourself lathered up. Put on something sexy to get yourself in the mood.

Caress your legs, stomach, and genitals with your eyes open. Follow what feels good and try new things to see if they work.

 

Talk Dirty to Me

This might feel a bit silly at first, but just trust me. National Sex Day is the perfect time for a little solo sex with a dash of dirty talking. Talking dirty will heat up your solo time and is great practice for fun with partners. If you haven’t played with dirty talk during sex, then this is a great intro.

Push the boundaries on what you’re comfortable with to see where it will take you. Talking dirty to yourself will help you overcome sexual anxiety and embrace the sexual experience.

National Sex Day 

Get a Workout on National Sex Day

No, I’m not saying to masturbate while you’re doing yoga or in between sets of pushups. Instead, exercise your pelvic floor muscles to improve genital control. Squeezing and holding your pelvic muscles tight should also give you a more intense orgasm. All that clinching takes work and has a huge payoff.

Pelvic workouts are all about body control. As you get better, you can sync your hand or toy strokes with your clenching and releasing to make sensations stronger. As you progress, try to hold your squeezes longer and longer to see what kind of difference it makes in your orgasm.

 

Give Tantric Breathing a Try

Many people who struggle to orgasm are found to hold their breath during sex, especially when things heat up during sex. Failing to take deep, measured breaths can prevent orgasm.

National Sex Day is a great time to try out tantric breathing and see whether it can give you an amazing orgasm. Tantric breathing involves inhaling deeply into the belly to increase blood flow which enhances sexual pleasure.

Start by laying down or getting into a sitting position and inhale deeply. Focus on your muscles as they expand and tense. As you exhale, notice the sensations on your skin, your arms, your legs, and focus on erotic thoughts.

Continue breathing like that as you begin to touch and stroke your genitals until you reach orgasm. For many people, tantric breathing helps them get into higher states of arousal and experience intense orgasmic experiences.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

 


Grapefruit Technique

The Grapefruit Technique

The Grapefruit Technique

 

Have you heard of The Grapefruit Technique in Bed?

Maybe it has been a while since you’ve been a little freaky, and you have a feeling that your partner feels things are a bit stale in your sexual techniques lately?

We all fall into sexual doldrums from time to time. Work, family, or just life, in general, gets to us. 

We feel like we can barely make it into bed much less put on a show.

You don’t have to go wild in bed every time you have sex. 

Sometimes though, you need to do something new to juice up the sex life a bit… so: the grapefruit technique.

I meet with people all the time that want more out of sex, and they don’t know where to start. 

Well, this blog is for the adventurer in you. 

This is a quick guide to something called the grapefruit technique, brought to us by Angel, otherwise known as the “Grapefruit Lady.” If your partner’s got a penis, this is something fun that is sure to blow their mind.

 

The Setup

Anytime old friends get together, they talk about sex. How much they’re getting, if it’s good, what they wish would happen, who’s the hottest, what’s the craziest thing they’ve done, and anything else you can think of. Don’t believe whatever your partner tells you. If they’re hanging around friends, sex is on the table.

One of the time-tested sex topics is a preference between oral sex and intercourse. What feels better, getting head or getting inside?

What if you could find a way to make it feel like you’re doing both at the same time? With the grapefruit technique, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

First, you’re going to need a grapefruit. Oh, you thought this was just a name for something else? No, you need an actual grapefruit.Grapefruit Technique

Now, if your partner is allergic to grapefruit for any reason, skip it and buy a large orange or something comparable.

Cut a hole in the middle of the grapefruit that’s approximately the size of your partner’s penis. Again, you should have a good idea of how big they are. This isn’t exactly something you want to bust out on the first night.

Just before you’re ready for sex, place the grapefruit under your bed where you can reach it. Your partner will probably think you have some scented candle burning or an oil diffuser on.

 

The Get Down

 

You must get your partner blindfolded before you bring the grapefruit out. The element of surprise is important here. Your partner may be resistant to the idea of having a grapefruit rubbed all over their penis, so get the blindfold on them and lay them down.

Trust me, practically no partner will ever reject the idea of being blindfolded by their lover. If you haven’t tried it yet, put it on your list immediately.

Once the blindfold is on, lay your partner on the bed and get started doing what you do. Give your best blow job intro to get them hard, then reach under the bed and pull out the grapefruit.

Slide it over their penis and move it up and down with your hand in sync with your mouth. Your partner’s not going to believe what they’re feeling. How can they be getting an incredible blowjob and feel like they’re inside of you at the same time?

After you’ve been going for a while, feel free to take the blindfold off to give them a view of what’s happening. Now the grapefruit is going to be a pleasant surprise instead of too much to handle.

You can bet they’re going to be asking for it again soon.

There’s good news for the giver as well! Grapefruit is probably going to make giving head more fun and tastier than ever.

 

Keep It Playful

The grapefruit technique is just one example of ways you can mix it up in bed to keep your sex life interesting and fresh. Life’s too short to worry about how you’ll look or what they’ll think. Break free from prudish thinking and push the limits of your sexual boundaries.

Break out the handcuffs, buy a sexy outfit, start roleplaying, get some toys. Do whatever you think would be fun to try. Inserting flirty games into your relationship lets your partner see more of your sexual side, and they’ll feel more comfortable about expressing themselves too.

The grapefruit technique is awesome because it’s a sexual tool that’s fun and feels great. That’s a great combo. If anything, else, you can laugh at trying without taking yourself too seriously. Odds are, though, your partner is going to remember it forever. It may even be the topic of the next meet up between friends.  Your partners’ friends are going to go home begging their spouses and lovers to get to the market and buy some grapefruits.

 

Lean on Your Sex Therapist for Advice

Sex therapy is all about this type of exploration. While we do also focus on overcoming past sexual trauma and relationship issues that get in the way of sexual fulfillment, we spend a lot of time helping you become the sexual being you’re meant to be!

Talk to your therapist about fun ways to mix things up with your partner. Break out of your routine with easy steps we can provide you.

All it takes is a sense of adventure combined with our training and expertise to take you to the next level. Soon, you’ll be having the best sex of your life. The best part is that as you hand out sexual favors to your partner, you’re going to get the payback soon enough.

He’ll be thinking long and hard about how to one-up you on the grapefruit technique. Who knows what that’ll be? We’d love to find out!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Sexy Time

Sexy Time

Sexy Time

 

Odds are you still think about that one sexy time with that one person from time to time. Maybe it was a college hookup or could have been a serious relationship a long time ago. For whatever reason, they just knew how to get it done.

They could touch you, tease you, and feel you in all the right ways. Something about it was so intense, primal even, that it’s a bit like chasing the dragon trying to get sex to that level again.

What’s funny is those intense sexual experiences we find ourselves daydreaming about are often far from our current reality. When you’re in a stable, long-term relationship, even sex becomes routine. That’s not to say we won’t take it. All consensual sex is good sex, right? Well, there’s good sex, and then there’s GREAT sex.

Here are some easy ways you can get more of what you want from sexy time.

 

Leave Your Assumptions Out the Door

I talk to so many people who are frustrated with their sexual partners. They complain that they can’t find people who know what they’re doing in bed or how to please them. Sex is filled with a lot of “You’re close” and “not quite!”.

Starting from scratch can be hard to do with every partner, especially if you’re coming off a relationship or being with a partner with amazing sexual chemistry. What you shouldn’t do, though, is assume every person has the same experience.

Be verbal before, during, and after sex! Tell your partner what you want and how to do it. Use a guiding hand if you have to show them how it’s done. Their feelings aren’t going to be hurt. They’ll probably be ecstatic.

Imagine if every intimate partner you have lays out exactly how to give them mind-blowing orgasms. Wouldn’t you be stoked to try?

Don’t assume your partner knows how to go down on a woman or give a great blowjob. Tell them what works for you and ask what they like in return.

Sexy Time

 

Avoid Negative Triggers During Sex

Sex sometimes requires difficult discussions. When you’re committed to someone who has a different sex drive or has more or less experienced, it takes adjustment. The last thing you want to do is spring something on them unexpectedly right in the middle of sex.

If you want to try, for instance, anal sex and your partner is apprehensive, discuss experimenting before you give it a shot. See if there’s anything you can do to make things easier for them.

Triggering negative reactions in the middle of sex can tie a bad experience to lovemaking, something no one wants. Keep things positive while you’re in the groove and hold the feedback for another time.

 

Engage in Some Self Experimentation

Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. I talk to so many people who struggle to verbalize what they like and don’t like with sex. It’s almost as if their life depended on it, they wouldn’t be able to tell you what feels good.

Certainly, for many people being comfortable with your sexuality is a mixed basket full of past experiences, religious backgrounds, and upbringing. Your exposure to sex will also affect how you feel.

The best thing for this is some self-exploration. If you can’t point to or talk about where your “on” buttons are, then do some searching. Masturbation is a great stress reliever in general. It’ll also help take any pressure or anxiety you feel when your partner is trying to help get you off.

 

Own It

If you’re feeling like you’re in a sexual rut, you’ve got to take more charge of your sex life. Own what happens in those sheets! Move around, take charge, pull out some handcuffs. Do something that will mix things up and make them more exciting.

Don’t wait for your partner to take the lead every time you have sex. Let your dominant side free every once in a while. Tell them where to go and what to do. Break up the routine a bit. It doesn’t have to be every time, but a little effort is a great reminder that you’ve still go it and things don’t have to be lame.

Sexy Time

 

Everybody Loves a Bit of Dirty Talk

Yes, you heard me. Sounds so silly though, right? No, it doesn’t. Dirty talk only sounds ridiculous until you try it. Trust me, it might feel weird the first time you whisper “Give it to me harder…” into your partner's ear as their thrusting on top of you, however, you’re going to love how stimulating it is when they’re asking, “You like that?” when they’re pulling your hair from behind.

Talking dirty takes some getting used to. Once the cat’s out of the bag, though, sexy time is never going to be the same. Sex becomes more playful, and about more than just the physical act. You get to add a bit more personality and rev the intensity up.

 

The Personal Pep Talk

All of us deal with some level of insecurity tied to sex. We all have a bit of flab here or a dimple there we wish we didn’t have. Maybe it’s been a while since we’ve had sex and we feel like we’re out of practice.

Understand that everyone carries a bit of baggage into the bedroom. The people that enjoy sex most are usually those who can toss the baggage aside for half an hour or so and experience some pure pleasure.

Try giving yourself a sex pep talk before things heat up. Sneak into the bathroom if you have to and look yourself in the mirror. Relax your shoulders, breathe a bit, and get over yourself. Laugh at how nervous you are and tell yourself it’s just sex. It’s how adults have fun. And get out there and have some fun!

Sex is too great a gift to be boring or mundane. Juice things up, have fun, and get a little kinky. You’ll never regret it and, trust us, neither will your partner.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


orgasm anxiety

5 Ways to Decrease Orgasm Anxiety – For All Genders

5 Ways to Decrease Orgasm Anxiety – For All Genders

 

Orgasm anxiety happens all the time at work, on stages, sales pitches, and a million other meetings where something’s on the line. We all react to pressure differently.

For many reasons, a lot of people experience this kind of stage fright when it comes to sexual encounters. Maybe it’s happened to you before. You meet someone you’re interested in, things click, you progress along the intimacy scale, and eventually find yourselves in bed together.

Suddenly, when it’s time to “shine,” you can’t pull it off and orgasm anxiety spikes. 

Your partner assures you that it’s no big deal. 

Still, it’s awkward all the same. 

Don’t agonize too much over it, as we’ve all been there.

Orgasm anxiety is a real thing, and it’s not always what you think. 

Unfortunately, there’s a stigma around failure to orgasm. 

For some people, it threatens to shatter the image they portray of masculinity or femininity. Often, we EXPECT the person we are with to be more like a porn star than a human. 

Sex without orgasm can also be taken as a signal that you weren’t, “into it”, and your partner will quietly wonder if a rejection is on the horizon. Sex is a complicated, messy ice cream sundae, and orgasms are the cherry on top.

orgasm anxiety

Sexing While Stressing

Your mind can be your worst enemy when it comes to sex. You can hype yourself too much or psych yourself out of the moment. All of a sudden, we find ourselves in the middle of a pandemic. People initially thought being stuck at home would trigger a huge baby boom. Everyone would be having massive amounts of sex!

The evidence indicates the opposite is happening. People are losing their jobs, worried about markets, and watching people they love fall ill. Everyone’s stressed out, and no one’s having sex.

While we’re all justifiably worried about what’s next, we must control what we can in our immediate circles. Sex, of course, is a proven stress-reliever. It can help you lower blood pressure and release endorphins to lift your mood and improve your health.

Overcoming orgasm anxiety will help you feel better about initiating sex and enjoy it more while it’s happening. Here are five ways to decrease orgasm anxiety you can try.

 

  1.   Take It Slow

Have you ever been watching porn when the first clip you come across is just the one? The people are beautiful, the scene looks great, it’s amateur porn and that’s what you’re into.

You start doing your thing, trying to get there, and you just can’t. No matter how hard or fast you go, you can’t get over the mountain.

When you’re anxious about having an orgasm, you’re more likely to try and come quickly. For that to happen, though, the conditions need to be right.

You’re better off controlling the pace and using a slow build to reach climax. The slower you go, the less you have to force it. Your body does the talking for you.

 

  1. Use a Toy, a Hand, a Mouth, and/or All of the Above

Whoever was handing out the orgasm awards in heaven wasn’t fair. Some people come super easy, and for others, it takes a lot of work. Vaginal orgasms are different than clitoral orgasms and orgasms triggered with anal sex.

Some people can only come when you go down on them, and for others, a vibrator is a must. Don’t get stuck in the self-defeating thinking that you’re broken if you can’t come a certain way. Have fun finding out what makes you cum!

Go on a shopping spree and buy a bunch of lube, vibrators, plugs, and other sex toys and experiment!

For a lot of people, orgasms take a bit of hand stimulation, some oral sex, and then a little of the old-fashioned type to get off. What’s wrong with that?

Orgasm Anxiety

 

  1. Work with Your Therapist

Meet with a sex therapist to work on mechanisms you can use during sex to decrease anxiety. A lot of our clients who have trouble orgasms struggle with mental blocks that prevent climax. It’s not so much that they aren’t being stimulated correctly, it’s that they are stopping themselves from enjoying it.

If you’re thinking about how you look, what your partner is doing, the laundry that needs to be done or whatever else, you may be subconsciously stopping the urge to orgasm. Every individual is, of course, different, and a lot of times distraction during sex is a coping mechanism that deals with whatever hang-ups or anxiety you’re feeling.

A good therapist can help you establish the right mindset before sex and fight back when anxiety starts to creep in.

 

  1. Talk to a Doctor

If you struggle to orgasm, it could be a medical issue. I mean, sexual performance drugs were invented for a reason. There was enough demand that pharmaceutical companies developed the medications.

Just like stress can impact your sexual performance, so can medications you take, weight issues, and depression. Talk to your doctor to see if there’s something you can do to decrease your sexual anxiety without putting your health at risk.

 

  1. Practice!

We’re all in quarantine whether we like it or not, right? Make the effort and shake the dust off. One of the best ways to decrease anxiety related to any activity is to do it over and over again.

“So, what you’re saying is that I should masturbate and have sex as much as I can to decrease orgasm anxiety?” 100% YES!

Having an orgasm, for most people, is like building a house of cards. You have to spend time building a foundation that will get you to the top. A couple of wrong moves during the process will send everything tumbling down.

You need to know what it takes to set the groundwork for a fast orgasm, a delayed orgasm, multiple orgasms, intense orgasms, and however many other types of orgasms there are. Learn your body in and out.

Tell your partner where you want them to touch you. You aren’t there to sit silently while they try to figure things out! Give them a hand and have fun doing it together. Hopefully, it will make our time at home together more entertaining. A little exercise never hurt either.

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


anxiety and sex

Sex therapist Gives 5 Solutions for Orgasm Anxiety During Sex!

Sex therapist Gives 5 Solutions for Orgasm Anxiety During Sex!

 

Having anxiety during sex is very common, but it does not mean that this problem cannot be solved.

I’m so glad that you are interested in knowing more about anxiety during sex!

In this video, I’ll teach you how to 5 solutions to solve Orgasm Anxiety During Sex, and how to have fun through this time.

Strategies Beginning at 4:20

 

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE EGUIDE “THE PLEASURE PRACTICE”

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-Learn How to Unleash Your Self Pleasure and Transform Your Sex Life!-

 

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

 

Watch more about Sexual Anxiety!

 

 

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Say hi on social:

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Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


masturbation

How Often Should You Masturbate?

How Often Should You Masturbate?

 

The question "How Often Should You Masturbate?" has probably been entered into Google more times during the Coronavirus than ever before in history. I mean, we’re quarantined, what else are we supposed to do? 

NYC government even went so far as to recommend masturbation, saying that you are your safest sex partner and that masturbation was the surest way not to contract the virus from sex! 

The only caveat being you wash your hands, with soap, regularly… please. 

If you’re someone with high sexual desire, all it takes is a change of the wind, a single fleeting thought floating across your mind to trigger the thought, “Hey, maybe I should get off right now.”

If you’re not so high in desire, you might also be masturbating more than you were pre-pandemic. That’s normal given how much time we have on our hands. After all, there’s only so much Netflix you can watch, right?

Thankfully, masturbation is a godsend for people locked away in quarantine. Especially for our single readers, masturbation can give you a dose of self-love while you abstain from sex with partners due to health concerns.

Is there such a thing as too much masturbation? Let’s take a look!

masturbation

 

The Health Effects of Masturbation

Well, we know for sure that masturbation doesn’t spread STDs, and you won’t get pregnant, so check those boxes.

The main concern with masturbation is self-harm. If you’re masturbating a lot, or if you’re not following a few steps, you can end up chafing your skin or get sore. That’s not that serious, yet it can be uncomfortable.

You want to wank it knowing that there’s the potential to go again another day soon, so make sure you do the following:

 

Wash your hands – keep things as sanitary as possible. Germs or dirt can cause an infection that can last for days.

 

Use Lubricant – Take it easy on your genitals. This will go a long way in preventing sores or redness. It will also feel better and likely will make your orgasms more intense.

 

Pace Yourself if It Hurts – You know your own body, so don’t let your desperation for an orgasm cause you to hurt yourself. Stop masturbating if you start to feel more pain than you’d like.

 

Use a Good Vibrator if You Can – Get a quality sex toy that will take you over the edge!

 

Masturbation is Normal!

Unfortunately, for religious, cultural, or other societal reasons, masturbation lived in the shadows for decades. It was something we all did; we just couldn’t talk about it.

A lot of people grew up with a lot of shame around self-stimulation and still struggle to talk about it today. Thankfully, there’s much less stigma around masturbation these days. Maybe enough people have been caught or there have been enough movie scenes featuring masturbation that we’ve all learned to get over ourselves a bit.

Masturbation is a great way to relieve stress, feel good and engage with your sexuality. Indeed, it’s one of the best ways people who struggle with sexuality can become familiar with their bodies.

I often counsel clients who can’t orgasm or wrestle with shame around sex to masturbate more so they can become more comfortable with their genitals and feeling turned on. It’s too bad when people feel negative about the way their bodies can make them feel.

If you ever feel shame or doubt about your masturbation, you can talk to a therapist about your emotions. They can help you realize that it’s completely normal and even can be a healthy activity. Don’t waste any more time worrying about masturbation. If anything, try to learn how to do it better so you have more fun and orgasm more intensely!

 

The Social Exception to Masturbation

Perhaps the one exception to masturbation is if you’re denying yourself human connection or masturbation is getting in the way of being productive.

Some people with trauma or who want to hide from other problems can masturbate obsessively. In these cases, it’s not the masturbation itself that’s “too much”. It’s the inclination to distract from real life. Running and hiding is something we should avoid whether it’s jerking off, drugs, video games, shopping, you name it.

masturbation

Hopefully, we’re all leaning a bit harder on masturbation during quarantine to blow off some steam and tide us over until we can get back out on the dating scene. However, if you’re finding that you’re jerking off multiple times a day and you just can’t get to that work project, then maybe you need to pace yourself.

Don’t let masturbation, or any behavior for that matter, get in the way of doing the things you need to feel good about yourself. That means exercise, work, interactions with family and friends, and a slew of other things you should be doing in quarantine to get emotional and physical support.

The one thing I will say, though, is to avoid demonizing masturbation. Technically, there is no such thing as masturbation too much. No, you’re not going to go blind. Relax.

 

Saving Your Bullets for the Big One

If you’re a pro masturbator, then you know that masturbation frequently affects how your orgasms feel. Blasting off a bunch of rapid-fire bullets is different than saving up for a few days and dropping an orgasm bomb.

If you’ve been on a solid run of one to two times per day, add a little suspense to your life and wait a couple of days. Your orgasm will probably be longer and more intense because you’ve built up for a bit. Learn about edging and how it can supercharge your orgasms.

Most of all, make sure you’re enjoying the act. I talk to clients to whom masturbation is like brushing teeth, it’s just part of the daily routine. That’s fine if it works for you, all I would say it to take some time every once in a while, to feel your body and experience your sexuality at a deeper level.

Masturbation, when done right, can be an intense, healing experience. While it’s never going to hold a candle to sexual connection and intimacy with another person, it is still awesomely available.

During all of our downtime, make the extra effort to make masturbation better than ever!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


420 sex

420 Sex - Cannabis and Sexual Satisfaction

420 Sex - Cannabis and Sexual Satisfaction

 

Welcome back to my channel and in this video, I am going to talk about a very famous topic. The well-known 420 Sex!

Does cannabis lead to better sexual satisfaction?

What do YOU think about the 420 sex? Have you tried it?

Let's jump right in!

Amanda Pasciucco, an AASECT certified sex therapist and owner of Life Coaching and Therapy, shares her tips to success! Watch now! Amanda has been featured multiple times on CNN, PornHub, Men’s Health, Hartford Courant, Playboy, Maxim, Daily Mail, HeadSpace, and more!

Do NOT forget to download it!

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Watch more:

 

Say hi on social:

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Instagram: http://instagram.com/thesexhealer

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.