Vaginal Orgasm

5 Things Women Need To Know about the Vaginal Orgasm

5 Things Women Need To Know about the Vaginal Orgasm

 

To have a fulfilled and healthy life, there are a few things women need to know about the vaginal orgasm. As much as the female orgasm is often treated as a mystery, there is no doubt about its numerous benefits. After all, there are not so many differences between the female and male orgasm.   

Women who are experiencing difficulties in reaching climax can also learn how to restore this ability and go back to having spectacular orgasms. And an even stronger bond with their sexual partner. An orgasm is your birthright and every woman should claim it as much as she can and wants. 

In this article, you will find all the information about female sexual health, from learning the concept of orgasm to allowing yourself to fully enjoy the pleasure that comes from an orgasm. Enjoy the read and hope it leads to many, many vaginal orgasms in your life.

Introducing the Clitoris

You already know that clitoris has a unique shape, yet did you know that its shape is what is causing the arousal and orgasm in your body? When massaging your erogenous zones, whether it’s your labia, inner thigh, vaginal opening, or anus, gently rub on it, while also playing with your clitoris. 

You will soon notice how the arousal is kicking as you or your partner is touching you and exploring what type of touch and where exactly on your body you prefer it. Some women enjoy more caressing and kissing, while others get excited when someone is pinching or biting their body parts.

Vagina Doesn’t Have As Many Nerve Endings As You Think

We often wrongly assume that just because there is so much going on there that our vaginas have many nerve endings. As much as nobody can deny there is an electrified pleasure when you or someone else touches your erogenous zones near your vagina, there are not many nerve endings. The reason for that is quite simple.

If a woman were to have many nerve endings, it might be great for her sexual pleasure, however, when giving birth, this would be an incredibly painful experience. In a way, the lack of nerve endings in our vagina is what is keeping a woman safe from the pain that would turn giving birth into a traumatic experience. 

Where Is My G Spot Located?

Finding a G Spot is not as hard as you might think. It is located on the anterior wall of your vagina, also known as the back of an internal clitoris. When lying down on the bed, you will be able to locate it at the top of the front wall. You will need to discover where precisely your G Spot is as it can be on the way up that wall, sometimes place lower, sometimes higher. 

You will know when you have found it once you feel a rougher area than the surrounding tissue and many women even describe it as touching the orange peel. The reason why not all women have the G spot located in the same place is due to differences in genetics, whether or not they’ve had babies, etc.

Vaginal vs. Clitoral Orgasm

The types of orgasms differ based on the type of physical stimulation and to which parts of the female body these stimulations are being done on. Vaginal orgasm involves an orgasm through stimulation during sex or any kind of vaginal penetration, completely without clitoral stimulation. Due to already mentioned nerve endings, the vagina cannot create an orgasm. That’s why it’s important to think of the vagina and clitoris as a grid of nerves and muscles working together towards your orgasm. 

A clitoral orgasm refers to an orgasm that involves only clitoral stimulation. Your partner can lick, bite, kiss, suck, touch, caress, or tickle your clitoris, and as a result of that stimulation, you will orgasm. When a woman is feeling sexual excitement, her clitoris will swell and change position. 

The blood vessels of the entire pelvic area will also swell, leading to engorgement and a unique feeling of sexual sensitivity and fullness. The inner vaginal lips will also swell and change their shape, while the vagina will balloon upwards and change the position of the uterus. 

Clitoris Has +8000 Nerve Endings Only for Your Pleasure

Unlike the vagina, your clitoris is filled with nerve endings. It is the most nerve-rich part of your vulva with more than 8,000 nerve endings. This means that the clitoris can provide incredible sexual pleasure for women. Especially when you add the fact that there are 15,000 more nerve endings in the pelvis. No wonder why an orgasm feels so good down there!

However, there is no unique formula to reach an orgasm with clitoral stimulation. As each woman is different, her clitoris will also differ from others. To feel sexual pleasure and eventually orgasm, each woman will need a different type of stimulation. The only way to know for sure is to put those fingers to work. And explore what feels good and what doesn’t. 

In Conclusion

The more you and your sex partner know about vaginal orgasms, the more often you will achieve them during intercourse. Orgasms are incredibly beneficial for women and not to mention how amazing they feel. There is truly no reason why any woman shouldn’t be able to enjoy her body, celebrate her sexuality, and make the most of her sexual pleasure.

That’s why it’s crucial to educate yourself and everyone around you. Debunk a myth or two about female sexual pleasure and allow yourself to enjoy it without any limitations. Whether you start by discovering where your G Spot is or figuring out which type of orgasm is your favorite, make that move towards a more fulfilled sexual life that we all deserve!

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Toys For Pleasure: Overview & Tips On How To Use Them 

Sex Toys For Pleasure: Overview & Tips On How To Use Them 

 

In the last decade, sex toys for pleasure have created a market on their own. By offering pleasure to men and women, sex toys have evolved tremendously and broken through all the stereotypes people used to have about this type of product.

After all, we’ve only recently started discussing more openly our sex lives, sexuality, and things we like and dislike in the bedroom. Sex and pleasure are becoming one of the common topics in conversations with friends, and also in educational institutions.

All of this has led to more people being interested in and buying sex toys for pleasure. From steam-powered vibrators and rubber dildos, there is a wide range of sex toys available to everyone looking to get some pleasure.

Before getting overwhelmed with so many options on the sex toy market, we’ve done our homework and decided to recommend you a few products you should try out. Let the moaning begin!

Sex Toys for Women

There are so many sex toys available to women that the only problem will be to limit yourself to trying out only a few toys and not spending all of your money. Dive into the most purchased sex toys for women:

1. Magic Wand Rechargeable

With a fervent fanbase, Magic Wand is still amazing women as it did when it was launched first. Many women recommend it because of its amazing vibrations and simplicity. That said, those who wish to switch gears or have a more flexible toy will need to be aware of the limitations of our beloved Magic Wand. Yet, don’t discard it so quickly, this is one of the most used sex toys in porn – that has to mean something!

2. Njoy Pure Plug 

For those of you who enjoy good anal sex, you will need to try this luxe metal plug. Its surface is almost blissfully smooth and more importantly, it’s compatible with all lubricants out there, so it guarantees you’ll get the pleasure you’re seeking. The weight of Njoy Pure Plug is also big enough to be aware of ii, yet small enough to not be uncomfortable for the woman. The great thing about it is that it comes in small, medium, and large versions, so anyone can have fun with it. 

3. Vixen Creations Mustang

You’ve never liked sex toys as they don’t seem like a real deal? Well, you’ll surely change your mind once you hear about Vixen Creations Mustang, the most realistic dildo in the world. This dildo has great dual-density material and its gentle curve will stimulate your G-spot like nothing you’ve ever tried before. This toy works well for men as well!

4. Lovense Lush 3

Are you in a long-distance committed relationship and want to spice things up with your partner? Or, are you a webcam performer who loves connecting with your audience? This long-distance Blootooth vibrator allows others who are not in bed with you to titillate you from afar by using the toy’s app. What we love about this sex toy is its rumbly motor incredibly fast responsiveness! 

Sex Toys for Men

If we had to write this article a few years ago, it wouldn’t be so easy to find great sex toys that will provide incredible pleasure to men as well. Luckily, there are many options for men to choose from when it comes to orgasming whether it’s on their own or with their sexual partner.

1. Fleshlight Quickshot

From men to men, Fleshlight Quickshot has been praised as the best male masturbator several times already. Besides being the best male sex toy, this was also the first-ever masturbator. 

The pioneer in male pleasure, Fleshlight Quickshot is smaller than its original version as it has 3.5 inches to insert the penis. Another plus is that you will not have to hide it around your room from someone who might stumble upon it because it doesn’t look like your regular sex toy. 

2. Uberlube

Okay, we know that lubes are not exactly sex toys, yet nobody can deny how much pleasure they bring during masturbation and intercourse. Uberlube is silicone-based so it will last quite long, and you will not be able to keep your hands off from the slippery surface, regardless of whether you’re touching yourself or your partner. We also love it because of its beautiful packaging, yet keep in mind you cannot combine it with silicone toys.  

  • Lelo HUGO

Although its price is a bit above the average of other male sex toys, LELO Hugo will justify its price the first time you use it. This is a favorite prostate massager for many sex toy users due to its remote that controls both strength and location of the vibrations. 

For instance, if you tilt it to the right, the vibrations will be stronger on the left side. More importantly, you will be able to focus on the area where you feel the most pleasure and make the most of it with Hugo.

3. Tenga Egg

The Tenga Egg is an excellent sex toy for those who are unwilling to invest a lot of money in it. Tenga Egg is very affordable with its price below ten dollars. Its price is what makes this super-stretchable elastomer sleeve one of the commonly used sex toys and a great idea when you want to step away from the old-fashioned ways. 

Of course, you shouldn’t expect too much for a few-dollar toy. It will not revolutionize your sex life or be your go-to toy for each masturbation, yet it is good to have if you’re not looking for expensive sex toys. It’s also a recommended option for beginners as they will not spend a lot of money on something they are still not certain if it works or not.

Press Play

Whether you are looking for sex toys for yourself or enjoy them with your sexual partner, these products can truly make a difference in how you experience your sexual pleasure. Whichever you choose, make sure you make the most of it and try it in different scenarios and positions. The only decision you might regret is buying a sex toy and not pleasuring yourself with it enough!

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

Clitoral Orgasm: Everything You Need To Know About It

 

When it comes to orgasms, there is always something new to learn, especially with certain types such as a clitoral orgasm, right? After all, every woman has the right to learn how to self pleasure. Enjoying that clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration on your own is something that will help you understand what you love in sex, what are your erogenous zones, or simply put – what drives you crazy in bed. 

So, what is actually a clitoral orgasm and how can you achieve it? If these questions are coming to mind when hearing about this type of orgasm, keep reading as we’re laying down all the facts, and also the tips and tricks on how to make the most of it and enjoy it every time alone or with your sexual partner. 

When talking about orgasms, we have to mention our masturbation mentor and explorer of sexual pleasure, Betty Dodson. She is an artist, author, and PhD sexologist who has been guiding women and educating them on women’s sexual pleasure and health for more than four decades.  Here is everything you can learn from Betty’s school of orgasms. 

Orgasm 

We will usually just say the word ‘orgasm’ when talking about women, however, you will need to be more specific from now on. The way these orgasms feel usually depends on a person, yet learning about them will help you understand what you can expect and how to make it better for yourself. 

Before diving into explanations of what orgasms are and what types of them exist, let’s talk about the clitoris first. It is a small organ that has many nerve endings that peek out from the vulva’s top, and it extends down the inside of the labia. 

To stimulate it efficiently, you will need to gently rub it with your fingers, palms of your hand, or tongue in a back, forth, or circular motion. For those who want to pleasure themselves and are doing it for the first time, you will need to use a lot of lubricant on your vagina. Once you have done that, start doing clitoral stimulation and discover what you like. Also, if something starts making you feel uncomfortable, stop immediately. 

Vaginal Orgasm

When it comes to heterosexual sex, the vaginal orgasm is the easiest to reach due to the penetration with the penis, however, for women, it’s the most difficult orgasm to reach on their own. Without a penis, a woman might use her fingers or a sex toy to have the same sensation. 

Start by inserting your fingers or the chosen sex toy into your vagina, and start moving them so you feel almost the same as if you were having sex with a partner who has a penis. Try to navigate your fingers or your toy to the direction of your belly button as that’s where you have a G-spot located and hitting it with regular pressure might result in an orgasm.

Anal Orgasm

Did you know that anal orgasms are way more common in men due to the prostate? Also, this type of orgasm can be achieved by rubbing the outside of the anal opening without penetrating. Always keep in mind to use lube when having anal sex. As the anal area naturally doesn’t produce lubricant, the skin around is prone to tears, which might result in infections. 

Clitoral Orgasm

There are many women who never had an orgams, even while masturbating. This requires awakening of the clitoris. Most of the time, the lack of orgasms in our lives are a result of the emotional or psychological issues we are having or used to have when we were younger. By changing our lifestyle and starting to practice more yoga, eat healthier and think more positively, the orgasms will come easier.

There are plenty of ways one can enjoy clitoral games. The best thing about it is that you can orgasm both alone and with your sexual partner. Of course, reaching climax alone will be a lot easier as you know what feels good and what doesn’t, however, there are other benefits you will enjoy even more if you decide to explore your body with your partner. And if you were struggling to reward yourself with an orgasm, keep in mind that’s a process that involves so much more than pleasuring and start changing your attitude towards it. 

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zone orgasms are something you will definitely love, yet it requires a lot of experimentation. What works for you may not work for the next person. Some can easily orgasm from kisses on their neck, while others will love feeling their partner’s teeth on their nipples, or maybe even fingers on the inside of their elbows. 

If you’re not sure which are your erogenous zones, the best way to find out is by using a feather or any other light external object and finding out where you feel the most pleasure. 

During an Orgasm

Have you ever wondered what happens physically in a woman’s body when having an orgasm? Vagina, uterus and anus, and sometimes other body parts, will contract rapidly 3-15 times. You probably already know that women sometimes ejaculate as well, which means they release a liquid out of the urethra. 

We don’t experience sex and orgasm the same way, so exploring is the essential part of any sex game you and your partner decide to play. However, there are four stages of an orgasm that might be useful to know:

  • Excitement: The first moments of being turned on.
  • Plateau: The repetitive motion that brings you pleasure.
  • Orgasm: The explosion of pleasure. 
  • Resolution: The refractory period.

Communication Leads To Orgasm

In any type of sexual play that includes two people, communication is crucial. Sharing with your partner what you want, how, where and when is the only way to ensure you feel the most pleasure. Make sure you have these conversations before you two engage in sexual play so you both know what the other person wants.

This doesn’t imply you are not able to talk or change opinions during sex, it’s just to set some ground rules and have a general understanding of how things should go. Your partner cannot read your mind, so make sure you always share with them anything that might affect your sexual life and, of course, your orgasms. 

In Conclusion

There are many ways to experience orgasms. Sometimes, they will be small and almost unnoticeable, while other times, they will be really big and powerful. Sometimes, you will have only one way, and other times you might have several of them in a row. 

Just like our bodies are different, our orgasms are different as well. It’s up to you to explore what brings pleasure to you and communicate it with your partner so you both can enjoy it as much as possible. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

Clitoral Orgasm: From A To Z

 

When talking about women enjoying their sexual life, we somehow lack good talks about orgasms, especially a clitoral orgasm. Unlike men, women experience their orgasms differently and reaching them also varies from one person to another. That’s why it’s vital to have quality discussions about it and allow women to explore different aspects of clitoral orgasm and discover new things about their sexuality. 

There are numerous methods that might help you reach climax with more ease and even improve your arousal and orgasmic experience. After all, as women are climaxing differently, there is still so much mystery wrapped around this topic. 

Types of Orgasms

Women can reach orgasm in more ways than just one. For instance, they can reach it through clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation or through stimulating breasts or any other erogenous zone. 

However, the clitoral orgasm is the type that’s closest to male orgasm. It requires engorgement or erection of the clitoris to lead to an orgasm. In most cases, continuing with sexual activity after the clitoral orgasm will result in discomfort or pain. 

A clitoral orgasm is typically described as more intense and profound than any other type and when combined with stimulation of other erogenous zones, it might even provide additional pleasure. 

Some women reach orgasm when another person is stimulating their genitalia, while others will reach it when their breasts are being stimulated. Another thing that’s important to keep in mind when talking about clitoral orgasms is that you can always play with other orgasm types and come back to it. It’s like riding a bike, you will not forget it!

You might have only one type of orgasm for years. Or you can have different types depending on the sexual activity with your partner. When talking about female orgasm, every person is a unique individual and their orgasms depend on many things. Yet it’s recommendable to try out all of them to see what works best for you.

Understanding Clitoral Orgasms

During an orgasm, there are certain things happening in the human body. A woman will notice that her heart rate is increasing, her breathing is accelerating. And her metabolism will speed up leading to an orgasm.

When a woman is experiencing clitoral orgasm or any other type, she will go through these four phases of sexual pleasure.

  • Excitement 

This phase can be described best as the state of arousal or desire and it involves the female body preparing for sexual activity. In the excitement phase, there will be a boost of certain hormones, the blood will begin to engorge the vagina. And the entire body will feel like it’s blushing. 

  • Plateau

In the second phase of sexual pleasure, the tension will build even more. A woman might not be able to think or do anything that’s not related to sexual stimulation. Her heart rate and blood pressure will continue to increase. 

  • Orgasm

When a woman is reaching orgasm, her vagina, uterus, pelvic floor muscles and occasionally her other muscles will contract in the same rhythm. 

  • Resolution

Right after the clitoral orgasm, the woman will start feeling her body relaxing, and her heart rate, blood pressure. And breathing starting to slow down as well. 

Does Every Woman Orgasm?

If you’re concerned because it’s difficult for you to have an orgasm. Understanding that every fourth woman is reporting the same issue might help not feel alone. In reality, there are numerous reasons why a woman is not having a clitoral or any other orgasm. These reasons can be physiological or physical, or sometimes both. 

However, if a woman wants to enjoy fully her sexual life, she will need to take a look at different types of treatments, therapies, or interventions recommended by a professional. Most of the time, talking to a therapist is a good start to understanding what is preventing you to enjoy your sexuality.

Also, a lot of women are reporting that their desire for sex is diminished as soon as they enter postmenopause. Luckily, there are solutions for each issue behind the lack of orgasm and low libido as long as the woman is open to tackling the issue and working together with the therapist or any other professional who is qualified to help. 

Can You Have Clitoris Orgasm More Often?

For those who are interested to boost their sexual desire and having more intense clitoral orgasms. There are plenty of exercises and practices you can do in the comfort of your home and some even at work. 

Keep in mind that if you’re experiencing difficulties with orgasming for a longer period. It’s recommendable to talk to a therapist who will provide you with methods that will be more efficient for you. 

These are the recommendations for those who are looking to improve their overall orgasm experience. Whether it’s to improve the frequency or quality of your orgasms:

  • Kegel exercises: Empty your bladder and sit or lie down. Contract your pelvis muscles and count to five. Then release them and count to five. Repeat this for 10 minutes and do it at least once a day. 
  • Analyze your orgasms: To have more or better orgasms, you will need to understand what happens in your body when you’re seconds from having it. Focus on your breathing, tension in your body, and your heart rate. The more you’re aware of these signs, you can remind your brain that if you start breathing rapidly. It’s time for a clitoral orgasm.
  • Try different things in bed: Don’t be stuck with the same-sex routine. Switch positions, stimulations, and make each of your sex fantasies come true. You might discover a new orgasm trigger which you can then implement when having sex. 
  • Connect with your partner: Regardless of whether you’re in a romantic relationship with a person you’re having sex or not, try to connect with them before, during and after sex. Be aware of their presence, provide them pleasure, enjoy the game. And your pleasure will follow as well and guide you to an orgasm. 

Practice, practice, practice: If you want to have a better orgasm or enjoy it more often, you will need to work a bit harder. This will depend on a person. However, you can try having sex more often or for a longer time to allow yourself to truly dive into your sexuality and learn more about it.

 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Female Anal Orgasm

Female Anal Orgasm: Learn All About It Here

Female Anal Orgasm: Learn All About It Here

 

As there is still not much talk around female anal orgasm, many women are curious to learn more about it and understand what to expect when having anal sex for the first time. Activities that involve anal sex are touching, fingering, licking, penetrating, and anything else that builds that sexual pleasure you feel before, during, and after anal sex. 

The great thing about anal sex is that it can be enjoyable for both men and women. Yet, when talking about female anal orgasms, there are some tricks that might help you make this experience more pleasurable for you and your sex partner. 

What Do You Need To Know About Anal Orgasm? 

When you’re having an anal orgasm, it will feel like very intense, profound waves of pleasure are beginning inside of your body and radiate through it. For those who are trying anal sex, it might feel a bit uncomfortable at first because you will need time to adjust to penetration back there. It shouldn’t cause you pain, however, it’s vital that you feel relaxed and comfortable with the sexual activity to avoid pain or discomfort. 

Unlike vaginal sex, women will need to prepare for anal sex to have a better experience for both partners. Feeling relaxed and aroused before anal sex is crucial for both avoiding the pain and enjoying the game a bit more.

How To Prepare For Anal Sex? 

There are many ways a woman can prepare for anal sex, especially if it’s her first time. Try to indulge in something that is erotic for you. If you feel more turned on, it will become easier for you to enjoy the butt play. You can watch porn or think about your fantasies you always come back to to make you feel more turned on. 

If you need to relax your body, you should consider taking a hot bath as it can help you lose your muscles and enhance blood flow to all parts. During your bath, you can give the erogenous zones a bit of rub-a-dub and play with your anus while you are washing it up. 

Another thing that might help you prepare for the anal game is practicing with a butt plug. You can do it alone or with your sex partner, it’s up to you. Using sex toys like this can also give you a pretty good idea of how anal sex will feel like for you. So, make sure you are taking it slow and enjoying playing around with your butt plug. You can have your partner use it to tease your butt before actually inserting it. 

When you feel ready for your anal orgasm, make sure you communicate it with your partner and, more importantly, prepare some lube. When it comes to anal, you will notice how much difference it makes to have anal sex with and without lube. Not to mention that it’s vital for anal sex safety. 

Exploring The Anal Game 

Those who are without anal sex experience tend to be very surprised when they start discovering all the diversity in anal sex. There are many moves you will like to try out once you are a member of the A-game. 

One of the most recommended ways to reach an even better anal orgasm is to have your partner licking your erogenous zones with his tongue just before the penetration. He can use the tip of his tongue to tease your cheeks before sex and then tease you around your anus. This will produce more intense ways than you could imagine.

Another way to enhance the butt hame is with your and/or your partner’s fingers. Put the lube on the finger, insert it into the anus and curl your or your partner’s finger upward at a pace you feel comfortable with. If wanted, you can even try inserting a second finger.

Also, you can rub the pad of the finger in a circular motion near the A-spot or P-spot. Circle slowly around that area and pick up the pace when you feel ready. You can play with the size of the circles, and also with the speed to discover what gets you faster to an anal orgasm. 

Adding More Stimulations

If there is a lot of clitoral or vaginal stimulation, you will notice the sexual pleasure growing inside you, so don’t focus only on the anal game. Avoid limiting yourself, you might discover you enjoy when your partner is licking and kissing your nipples and that helps you reach a better anal orgasm.

Or, you might notice that you enjoy when your partner is stimulating your clitoris by using hands, fingers or sex toys. The entire sexual experience is very individual for each person so what works for you, might not work for your friend. 

That’s why it’s recommended to practice and really dedicate your time to explore more the anal game and to understand what you like and don’t like. 

Why You Need A Lube?

As already mentioned, lube is quite important in anal play. Without the lube, penetrating a finger, toy, or penis might be dangerous. With a rough penetration, the skin can tear up and you also increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections. 

You can use a lube that is based on water or silicone as these two options work well with condoms and any sex toy you want to use. Many might assume that anal sex is much safer than vaginal sex because it cannot lead to pregnancy, however, STIs are possible so it’s important to practice safe anal sex. 

Wrap Up

The anal game can be a lot of fun and you will probably experience some of the most intense orgasms in your life, yet don’t forget to prepare your body and be safe at all times. If it’s your first time, make sure you take it slow and do it with someone you trust as it will help you to relax. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Intense Female Orgasm

Intense Female Orgasm: All The Things You Should Know About It

Intense Female Orgasm: All The Things You Should Know About It

 

As it is completely individual, we rarely talk about all things both women and men should know about intense female orgasm. From different types of orgasms a woman can have to what helps a woman feel sexual pleasure before, during and after sex, all of these details are helping us understand the nature of female sexuality and bring a better overall experience to women. 

How a intense female orgasm differs from a male orgasm? Do women truly distinctively think about sex from men? We’ve gathered all relevant information regarding female orgasms to solve the mystery around it once and for all. 

Types of Intense Female Orgasm

Yes, we might say female orgasm, however, there are different types of orgasms a woman can experience during sex with their partner. Clitoral, vaginal, cervical, or the one that results from stimulating erogenous zones are the orgasm types most women have experienced in their lives. Some of them will also experience different orgasms, depending on the sexual activity they have with their sexual partner, while others will mostly experience only one orgasm type. 

Also, there is a percentage of women who are unable to orgasm due to various reasons. All of these reasons can be grouped into two categories – emotional and psychological reasons. It’s recommendable for them to talk to a therapist or any other professional that will help them work out these issues and allow them to start enjoying their orgasms. 

Erogenous Zones

As we’ve mentioned above, you can orgasm from someone touching, licking, and kissing your erogenous zones – neck, nipples, feet, behind the knee, earlobe, etc. For an area to become an erogenous zone will depend on someone stimulating that area arouses you. 

It might surprise you that many women can orgasm from nipple stimulation. If you’re interested in nipple orgasm, put your hands on your breasts, and start caressing and squeezing them, while touching other parts of your body as well. Then, you will slowly start teasing your areola with your fingertips until you start feeling excited, and continue with rubbing and pinching your nipples until your reach the climax. 

If you’re not sure what your erogenous zones are, you can easily explore your body and find out. Lay naked on your bed, grab a feather, and slowly start touching each part of your body until you figure out where you feel something. It might be that you feel a tickle or any other sensation in your body that will later bring you incredible sexual pleasure and some of the most amazing orgasms you’ve ever had. 

G-Spot

Of course, we can not take about erogenous zones without mentioning the most important area of your body – the G-spot. This is an area along the front wall of the vagina. When stimulated, it brings incredible orgasms for some women. The best way to reach the G-spot is with the fingers or a curved vibrator specifically made for the G-spot.

To reach it easily, make sure you’re in a squatting position. Insert the vibrator or fingers up toward the belly button and start moving them until you discover which pace works best for you. If you feel like you have to pee, that’s a completely normal sensation. Just keep going until the full-body release!

All the Feels of an Orgasm

Every orgasm is different, some will be more intense, while others will be completely incomparable to everything you’ve ever felt before. These are some of the things you can expect to happen in your body during an orgasm: 

  • The vagina and uterus will contract rapidly. 
  • You will notice your muscles contracting in other body parts, such as the abdomen or feet. 
  • Your breathing and heart rate will speed up. 
  • Your blood pressure will increase.
  • You might feel a relief of sexual tension or ejaculate during your orgasm. 

Male vs Female Orgasm

You might assume that male and female orgasm differ significantly, yet it’s not the case. Both male and female orgasm will send increased blood flow to the male or female genitals, accelerate breathing and heart rate, while other muscles in your body will contract as well. 

The difference between them can be seen in two aspects – duration and recovery. Female orgasms last longer than male orgasms, ranging from 13 to 50 seconds, whereas male orgasms range from 10 to 30 seconds. Another thing to keep in mind is that female orgasms can lead to repetition if stimulated again, also known as multiple orgasms. Also, male orgasm will involve ejaculation, while female orgasm doesn’t need to involve ejaculation every time. 

How to Orgasm More

For those who either haven’t experienced an orgasm before or wish to improve their experience, there is a way to practice having better and more frequent orgasms. The most important thing is to eliminate the pressure if you feel any. You should feel relaxed and be in the exploratory mode to climax. 

Take time to explore your body and see what feels good and what doesn’t. So, get comfortable and find a place where you will feel safe and relax to play with your body. You can use your imagination or read an erotic story to start things off. Slowly, start massaging the area above the clitoris until you get wet. 

If you need help, use lube and continue with your message. Once you’ve found a spot and rhythm that feel good, start rubbing faster and harder, while also increasing the speed and adding more pressure to make it more intense until you orgasm.  

If you didn’t manage to orgasm, don’t worry. You can always try it again and play a bit more. The important thing is not to think of this as failing. You are simply getting to know your body and understanding what brings you the sexual pleasure you need to orgasm. There are no rights and wrongs, so don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t orgasm right away. 

Instead, try different things or techniques. You can use a sex toy, watch a sexy movie, masturbate in the shower, use more lube, etc. The more things you try out, the better you’ll understand your sex drive. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Real Female Orgasm

Everything You Didn’t Know About A Real Female Orgasm

Everything You Didn’t Know About A Real Female Orgasm

 

Female sexuality has been raising curiosity for centuries now, whether from scientists, media, or the general public, and topics such as a real female orgasm were often vaguely covered without too many details. Understanding female orgasm is often confusing for women, not only for men. This complex mystery is slowly getting solved as the world is focused on finding out the answers to questions we wanted to know for a long period, such as ‘Where is a G spot?’, ‘Does a woman need to orgasm to experience sexual pleasure?’, and so on. 

So, we’ve decided to gather all these questions into one article and give you everything you need to know about female orgasms. 

Why do women have orgasms? 

When talking about male orgasms, the benefits are quite clear. Men ejaculate in order to deposit sperm into the vagina, which might or might not lead to pregnancy. Simply put, the male orgasm serves evolutionary purposes. 

However, this is not that clear with female orgasm. Many scientists have been researching various potential benefits, yet only a few have been tested and none of the theories around it has conclusive scientific support. Putting all these assumptions aside, the pleasure a woman gets from orgasming is incredibly vital for her sexual life. It motivates females to have sex, enhances the relationship they have with their sexual partner, and it doesn’t have to involve evolutionary benefits. 

How does a female orgasm feel? 

During arousal, the flow of blood to the genitals will increase, which will cause the genitals to become more sensitive. With arousal, a woman will also experience an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate. As the orgasm is approaching, the woman’s muscles will twitch or spasm. When talking about female orgasm stages, although theories still differ, these four specific stages have been accepted as the most valid ones:

  1. Excitement: The moments when arousal builds,
  2. Plateau: The moments when arousal start increasing,
  3. Orgasm: It causes intense feelings of sexual pleasure,
  4. Resolution: The moments when arousal diminishes.

What are the benefits of a female orgasm? 

Before going into the benefits of female orgasm, you will need to keep in mind that none of the health benefits have enough scientific evidence to support them. When talking about health, scientists still haven’t discovered benefits that improve health in any way when having regular female orgasms.

However, there is a great benefit in experiencing the pleasure that comes with an orgasm. Having sex you enjoy might enhance your mood, relieve stress, boost your immunity, and foster better relationships. Another thing that’s important to mention is that a woman doesn’t need to have an orgasm in order to get pregnant. 

Is the lack of female orgasm connected with psychological issues?

Trauma, issues in your relationship, and poor mental health might make it difficult for you to orgasm, however, it’s not a rule. Many women who have healthy sexual attitudes and quality relationships will still have difficulties when orgasming. 

Orgasms are both physical and psychological responses, and there are many health issues that might make it complicated to enjoy your orgasms. Another thing that might occur is vulvodynia, unexplained pain in the vagina that women feel during sexual pleasure. All in all, if someone is unable to orgasm, the reasons for it should be looked at individually.  

Can women have vaginal orgasms?

Vaginal orgasms are less common than orgasms from clitoral stimulation, yet some women have reported experiencing them with or without other stimulation. Keep in mind that female orgasms might result from numerous forms of stimulation, including vaginal, clitoral, and nipple. How one person orgasms will depend greatly on them, some might only experience orgasm from the vaginal stimulation, while others only from clitoral. 

Do women need to be in love to orgasm? 

As a complex psychological and biological experience, orgasming will not be the same experience for every woman. There are women who need to feel loved in order to orgasm, while they are others who may not. Having a loving relationship with your sexual partner may or may not influence your ability to orgasm during sex. 

Having an orgasm is more about the right type of stimulation for this person, yet it also includes a lot of different factors outside their sexual life, like stress, physical ability, and a wide range of other factors. 

Can men always spot a female orgasm? 

It will be very difficult for a man to know if a woman has had an orgasm without asking her. Some women will make noises while having an orgasm, and others may not. Some women will flush or sweat after orgasm, yet others do not. So, the best way for men to know whether their female sexual partner has had an orgasm is to directly ask her. As a man, you should know that not having an orgasm doesn’t mean that a woman isn’t enjoying the sex. Female orgasms are just very different from male orgasms.

Can masturbation help with having more female orgasms?

Yes and no. Discovering your own body and understanding which spots of your body make your feel good will help you see what you need in order to orgasm. Remember, not every woman requires the same type of stimulation in order to orgasm. Maybe you’ll discover when you touch your nipples, you feel incredible sexual pleasure and orgasm faster. If you communicate this to your sexual partner, they will know what you need to orgasm. 

Keep in mind that if you have always struggled with orgasm when having sex with your partners, it might be too optimistic to expect to have frequent orgasms now that you masturbate. Instead of putting too much pressure on yourself, you should think of your sexuality as something you enjoy exploring and if something doesn’t work quite well, investigate deeper and find what’s your preferred way of doing it.

Wrap Up

Every woman is different, so every female orgasm will be different. That’s why it’s vital that women are talking amongst them about sex topics, including orgasm. The less stigma there is about orgasms, it will become easier for women to surrender to pure sexual pleasure that leads to fantastic orgasms.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

tickle orgasms

Tickle Orgasms And Everything You Need To Know About It

 Tickle Orgasms And Everything You Need To Know About It

 

Have you heard of tickle orgasms or the arousal a person will feel when being tickled? If this is your first time hearing about it, don’t worry – you’re not the only one. As much as knismolagnia, the official name of tickle orgasm, is just another kink that someone might enjoy. We have rarely heard about this term or even discussed it among our friends while casually conversating about sex. 

Tickling Fetish

Tickling is a form of stimulation that is produced by a light touch on one of the sensitive areas of the body. Such as armpits, collar bones, stomach, ribs, feet, inner thighs, behind the knees and elbows, etc. When talking about sexual fetishes. Tickling can play only a part of the sexual art or it can be the entire play. Also, tickling fetish can also be enjoyed even if there is no nudity or overt sexual activity. 

Those who have this particular fetish can achieve orgasm just from tickling alone. In other words, there is no other stimulation needed to have an orgasm. Besides getting tickled to have an orgasm, there are people who are being turned on when tickling other people or just watching them getting tickled. 

If you want to take your tickling fetish a step further. You can even use props such as feathers, vibrators, electrical current. Or something else that might enhance this stimulation. Depending on how you want to express and practice your kink. You can choose from a variety of options and decide whether you will use it just as foreplay or you want to reward your sexual partner with an orgasm. 

Tickle Or Fetish?

To respond to that question, we’ll need to first go back to the definition of fetish. It is when a person or object has a deeper meaning for someone and becomes part of its favorite sexual experiences. In some cases, they are absolutely required for a person to climax. Tickling in its nature is not so different from foreplay. However, what makes it fetish as it occurs in sexual scenarios and it leads to sexual pleasure. Simply put, a tickling fetish means you get turned on when someone tickles you or vice versa.

In psychology, having a tickling fetish is considered atypical behavior. However, it is more than usual and completely normal for a person to experience this feeling. And sensations that come with it. 

Tickling & Sexual Pleasure

Now, let’s explore the tickling fetish a bit more if we want to find the answer to why some people feel sexual pleasure from getting tickled. If you’re to ask a person with knismolagnia what turns them on, a common response would be related to laughter. When a person is being entertained by another person’s actions so hard that they can’t help themself to laugh. It’s quite sexy and doesn’t seem like anything awkward, right? 

The other common reason is the arousal that comes from the physical sensation. In other words, tickling will get people turned on because this sensation is pleasurable for them. We can’t also avoid the fact that tickling involves the body’s largest organ, the skin. 

Tickling fetish is also quite common in the BDSM world where ticklers might enjoy the feeling of dominance and the ability to make the tickled squirm, and the tickler might feel helpless. For instance, the dominant partner might use blindfolds and restraints to improve that powerless element and add more passion into the game. Speaking from the tickled’s perspective, if they are tickle-averse. They can even relish the aspect of torture that being tickled brings for someone who is completely restrained from moving. 

Is Tickling Fetish Common? 

Just like the majority of fetishes, it’s difficult to determine whether a certain fetish is common or not because they were never documented in a scientific way. Even with surveys on sex, we cannot rely on people telling the complete truth about their sexual activities and preferences due to many factors such as stigma, taboo, and shame. 

However, if you were to look up the term ‘tickle porn’ on the Internet, you will find more than 600,000 results. Which kind of implies that the fetish is more common than you’d think. There are even dating sites created specifically for people that share this fetish and want to meet other people who would love to experience a tickle orgasm. 

How Safe Is It? 

There is really a small chance of being at any risk when getting tickled. Especially because there are no fluids exchanged between the partners. More importantly, neither of the partners will be permanently scarred or damaged from the tickling fetish. Of course, there might be some reflexes involved that might come as a body’s natural response to being exposed to tickling. Yet these things happen quite rarely as both partners give their consent on exploring tickling in the sexual concept. 

When even talking about more serious consequences, there have been only a small number of cases of death by laughter. What’s important to note here is that neither of these people who are a part of this statistics has actually died because of the laughter. Being in poor health was the reason for their death. So it’s safe to say that you cannot die of laughing too much or too hard. 

If a person is laughing too much for more than usual, they might faint or it might trigger cataplexy, a lack of ability to move your muscles. As it is with everything, try to not take it too far. If you enjoy tickling or getting tickled, be conscious of it, and instead of testing the boundaries. Remind yourself that you’re doing it for the incredible sexual pleasure and great orgasm that will follow. Going to the extreme will rarely produce more sexual pleasure, so keep it modest, yet funky! After all, we are talking about tickling!

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

Real Orgasm: No Need To Fake It Anymore

 

When was the last time you had a really good, real orgasm? Yeah, we’re talking about the ones where you really enjoyed it and didn’t fake it just to get it over with. Having an orgasm is so much more than just finalizing the intercourse between you and your sexual partner. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of discussions to be held until we all feel comfortable talking about what excites us, what we don’t like and what is necessary for one person to have a good orgasm.

Why fake it?

Although you will instantly imagine a woman when talking about faking orgasms, did you know that men can also fake an orgasm? So, why does one feel the need to fake an orgasm? This happens more often in long-term relationships than in only-sex agreements between two people. The reason for that is pretty obvious – you don’t want to hurt the other person. However, why have we normalized working on every aspect of our relationships besides the sexual? 

Maybe sex is no longer a taboo in media or on social platforms yet it still is in relationships. Hurting your partner is not the only bad outcome you can have from faking an orgasm. That feeling of mutual excitement and satisfaction is very unique and denying yourself the right to enjoy it every time you have sex would mean losing something pretty valuable.

Which benefits does an orgasm have for a person?  

Having a real orgasm will provide you with incredible health benefits. So, the next time you think about faking it, think about it as something good for your health, not just for your sex life. Here are just some of the benefits you can expect to notice from good, real orgasms:

  • An orgasm has impressive sedating powers. When climaxing, it triggers surges of oxytocin and prolactin, the relaxant hormones in our bodies, which when combined with the release of endorphins can result in feeling sleepy. 
  • It regulates your cycle. When you’re having an orgasm, blood and nutrients rush to the vagina making sure everything is working perfectly down there. 
  • It lowers your cortisol levels and takes care of your heart. This way, you don’t have to fear heart diseases that come from elevated levels of cortisol. 
  • During orgasm, the human growth hormone is being released, which also stimulates collagen.
  • Each time you have an orgasm, your pelvic muscles will contract and release, toning your pelvic floor which is pretty important for your core strength, bladder control, etc. 

Besides these stunning health benefits, a real orgasm also makes you closer to your partner. The oxytocin will surge after the orgasm and it will even deepen the connection you have with your partner. If you were wondering what makes you want to cuddle so much after sex, there’s your explanation!

How to get there?

Faking it or not, we all know that to get to orgasm takes more than just snapping your fingers. How to orgasm more often is what many of us want to learn, so to help you enjoy sex more, here are the best tips on how to orgasm more. 

For women, the clitoris is their go-to climaxing place. Many pleasures and releases of orgasm come actually from the clitoris, yet not every woman prefers the same touch. You will need to treat it very individually and learn what each woman likes and dislikes. After all, the preferred touch will help a woman climax quicker and better.

Others will climax when their partner is in contact with their G-spot, placed between the vaginal opening and cervix. Although you cannot see it, you can easily feel it with your finger. When pressing on the G-spot with a finger, penis or vibrator, many women will feel very excited which will then lead to a very pleasant orgasm.  

For those looking for more pleasure, you should go for blended orgasm. This type of climax occurs when more than one of your erogenous zones are being stimulated at the same time. For instance, it can be a G-spot penetration with a little bit of clitoral touching. What you can expect is an explosive orgasm due to the fact of feeling pleasure in different spots of your body. 

In reality, the more orgasms you have, the more you can expect in the future. More practice brings more pleasure. Have an honest conversation with your sexual partner about what you both like and dislike in bed and dedicate some time to explore how both of you can reach maximum pleasure while having sex. 

How to know if your partner is faking it?

Maybe your partner will not be so opened to this conversation and you’ll need to point out the signs that they are not enjoying sex as much as they say they do. These signs are not too obvious and sometimes, they will depend on the person, yet there are several things you might notice if you suspect your sexual life is not as good as you both wish it to be. 

Orgasming on demand.

If your partner comes after you’ve repeatedly asked them to, chances are they are faking it. Adding too much pressure will not get the person to orgasm faster. Instead, focus more on doing the things you know your partner enjoys in bed and forget about the orgasm as the goal.

No foreplay.

This is more for women as they tend to need more foreplay to climax. Skipping foreplay and jumping into sex immediately might be good for a quicky every once in a while, however, don’t turn it into a habit. Try out that thing you read about in your favorite magazine or do something you both once talked about and never did. Don’t limit yourself, explore the world of pleasure and orgasm will come as a delicious dessert for the both of you. 

No contractions.

When the majority of women are climaxing, you will be able to feel their vagina is pulsing. These pelvic muscle contractions will indicate that the vagina walls are gripping. In other words, the woman is experiencing a real orgasm. So, if you hear her screaming that she’s about to come, focus a bit on her pelvic muscles and see if they’re pulsing. If not, it’s time for that real sex talk!

Make your pleasure a priority

Man or woman, we all deserve to feel sexual pleasure. The reason why women don’t have so many orgasms as men do is that they don’t prioritize their pleasure. They will usually think that sex is enough, often forgetting how liberating and sensual an orgasm can be for them. If you and your sexual partner are planning to heat the atmosphere today, think about the things you need to feel the pleasure you deserve. 

Maybe it’s longer foreplay, maybe it’s more clit-game, or maybe you need a bit of a role play. Whatever it is, share it with your partner and get yourself that orgasm you deserve!

Additional Help Available with LCAT’s Sex Therapy Video:

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

how to last longer in bed

How to Last Longer in Bed

HOW TO LAST LONGER IN BED – 50 SEX EXPERTS SHARE THEIR TIPS

Amanda Pasciucco, LCAT founder was interviewed by TheEnhancedMale.com for this article.

Experts Take On Lasting Longer During Sex

 

Lasting longer in bed is a desire of most men. The reality is that it takes much more time for a woman to reach orgasm than for a man. Finishing before their partners can make males feel insecure regarding their sexual performance.

 

Although the intensity and what do you do during sex is more important than the time length, there are tricks that you can use to ensure that you will last longer in bed.

 

To give you the best advice possible, we decided to not limit this article to our experience and knowledge so we reached out to 50 sex experts and ask them the following question:

 

What is your best advice for men who want to last longer in bed?

 

We received a variety of tips that range from physical exercises, breathing techniques, to dealing with your emotions and improving the way you communicate with your partner.

 

Keep reading to see what the experts had to say.

 

Jessica O’Reilly – Sex With Dr Jess
Jessica O'Reilly

 

I offer a full online course on how to last longer in bed and overcome premature ejaculation in 6 steps. This involves:

 

1. Mindfulness practices in masturbation
2. Intentional masturbation to reduce external stimuli
3. Pelvic floor exercises to better understand the muscles that respond to arousal and ejaculation
4. Cognitive-behavioural adjustments to reframe expectations and reduce performance pressure
5. Sex education related to the sexual response cycle and how the body functions during arousal, orgasm and ejaculation

If you want to try an exercise on your own, try basic mindful masturbation:

Touch your entire body for pleasure for 10-20 minutes without trying to reach orgasm. Explore from head to toe. Don’t get hung up on your genitals, but don’t ignore them either.

 

Tune into your unique responses and physical sensations. What are there textures, pressure, rhythm, movements, temperatures and other sensations you feel in your skin?

Try this every day for a week and see what changes in your body. Can you start to recognize when ejaculation is imminent? What can you do to stave it off? Does slowing down help? How about changing positions or loosening your grip?

 

Our intention here isn’t to simply last longer, but to enjoy the process. There is no sense in “lasting longer” via distraction that detracts from pleasure; the point is to have the option to prolong the experience and also genuinely enjoy it.

As you tune into your body’s responses, you’ll likely find that your ability to be more present and enjoy pleasure (without worrying about orgasm/ejaculation) increases.

You may also want to experiment with different breathing patterns while you masturbate.

Try breathing more slowly and deeply. Take a big deep breath in and exhale slowly and purposefully; align your strokes with your breath to really slow things down.

 

See how the sensations and pleasure change as you slow your breath, but don’t worry about how long you last; simply enjoy and observe the process.

 

Diana Wiley – Dear Dr Diana

Diana Wiley

My advice for men who want to last longer in bed.

This is a frequent concern in my sex therapy practice. It’s frustrating for a man (as well as his partner) if he ejaculates too soon after intercourse begins.

 

A woman may want her lover to be able to thrust for a longer time to help her achieve more sexual satisfaction. I have two key pointers for this situation.

First, sometimes just being able to talk about it with your partner can relieve some of the anxiety at the root of the problem.

 

Performance anxiety releases stress hormones, which play havoc with a man’s sexual response. Repeated experiences can lead to this becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Recognize that this is a couple’s problem—not just the man’s problem. Have some frank and heartfelt discussions, and do some research together to explore the varied treatment options (exercises, medications, counseling, etc.).

Second, see if you can cultivate a playful attitude about the issue. Sure, it can feel devastating at the time, but with help you can make progress. In the meantime, try to lighten up and not take it so seriously.

 

Sex is not a “job” or a “task” to complete. Relax and enjoy the process. And also avoid blaming each other. Work together and remind each other that this is not really about performance or perfection.

 

Megan Fleming – Great Life Great Sex

Megan Fleming

My best advice for men who want to last longer, backed up by Lori Brotto’s extensive clinical research is… to be in the moment, mindfulness, while knowing that the foundation of arousal is relaxation.

 

In my 20 years of clinical experience in NYC, I can tell you the #1 reason men come to my office is related to performance anxiety.

 

It can show up in ejaculating sooner than you’d like, finding it really difficult or not even being able to ejaculate with a partner or having difficulties getting or maintaining an erection.

 

Almost ubiquitously every single one of them was so interested and focused on giving their partner pleasure that they got into their heads and how it’s going to go or fear it will go (I call this anti-fantasy) and well, since none of that is erotic they unwittingly and unconsciously inhibit their own arousal.

 

Nina Rubin – After Deafeat

Nina Rubin

If a man wants to last longer in bed, he could wait longer to have intercourse.

 

Much of the time, sex is considered as intercourse: penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus.

 

When also considering oral sex and performing it on a partner, that can be completely satisfying for the receiver and very much a turn-on for the giver.

 

There are many more sexual activities that will bring both people pleasure and prolong intercourse.

 

Consider massage, experimenting with kinks, and stimulating your partner.

 

Dainis Graveris – Sexual Alpha

Dainis Graveris

Stop your lousy masturbation habits. Most men have problems lasting longer in bed because of them. I personally experienced erectile dysfunction in my younger years because of porn overuse. If you want to resolve this issue, stop watching porn. In a few weeks, you’ll notice how sexy and attractive real women become.

Get fit and fix your health. Aside from looking more attractive to women, getting fit boosts your health and improves your performance in bed. Any exercise that elevates your heart rate for at least 30 minutes thrice a week will improve your cardiovascular health.

You’ll also notice how you can stay physically active for longer. Plus, an improvement in metabolism, including blood circulation to your heart, lungs, and (yup, you guessed it right) your penis.

And it’s not just about getting enough exercise. Cut drinking, smoking, and eating junk food. All these will hurt your health and your sex life. Make better health choices if you want to improve your love life and your life as a whole.

Strengthen your PC muscles by doing Kegel exercises. First, you need to know how to isolate your PC muscles. These are the muscles you use to stop peeing, and that’s actually a perfect time to start your Kegels. When you take a leak, stop yourself for 5-10 seconds by squeezing these muscles as strongly as possible and then releasing them.

In two weeks, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your control. You can then do regular Kegels anywhere besides the comfort room. For example, you can do it while sitting at your desk, driving, having lunch, etc. Don’t worry. Nobody will know what’s happening down there.

Do a mix of 30 quick squeezes and releases, followed by 5-10 seconds of holding your muscles and repeating it 5 times. Do this no more than 10 minutes per day.

Do the stop-start or edging technique. It involves stopping all sexual stimulation temporarily when you feel you’re about to cum. Once this feeling has passed, you can go back and stimulate each other. You can practice edging by yourself or with your partner. If you do it by yourself, make sure to focus.

Remember your Kegels? When you edge, you get yourself hard, get close to ejaculation, and squeeze your PC muscles as hard as you can, and hold it for 10 seconds.

While you’re squeezing, take deep, relaxed breaths. Imagine moving the sexual energy from your penis area to your whole body with each breath. Learn to control yourself as well as be aware of your hardness levels.

DURING SEX:

Switch positions and mix things up. Learn how your body works so you’ll know what positions make you less aroused and which ones make you cum sooner. If you find yourself getting too close to ejaculation, switch positions. Change the angle or tempo to make sex feel different.

Even if you’ve penetrated your partner, no rule states that you have to stay inside. It can be fun to thrust a few times, withdraw, and use your fingers to keep going. Teasing your partner this way will increase the intensity of the pleasure too.

Don’t be afraid to bring in backup (AKA sex toys). Make things easier by getting some sex toys to help you last longer. For example, when you’re about to cum, you can first withdraw and use a vibrator or dildo on your partner. Doing so helps you go back to step 1 and brings more pleasure to your partner.

When using any toy, make sure you don’t just pull the toy in and out. Instead, let your partner instruct you on the spot and then simply keep pressing up and down or a little bit back and forth. Adding toys to your sex life will not make you less of a man.

There’s still no toy that can replace a man and sensations you can bring with your magic touch, masculine energy, and passionate kisses. Ask any woman.

 

Anya Laeta – Sf Sex Coaching

Anya Laeta

To last longer with a partner, you need to learn how to last longer alone.

 

A lot of men for years “train” themselves to finish within minutes while masturbating.

 

It’s no wonder that is exactly what their body does in partnered sex.

 

Allowing yourself to take your time, breathe, and relax more during solo sex, as well as becoming comfortable with edging, will help you establish better ejaculation control.

 

Dr. Teralyn Sell

Teralyn Sell

For a man who wants to last longer in bed do the following:

 

1. Seek medical advice – Seek guidance from a medical professional to help rule out any underlying medical conditions.

 

2. Evaluate pornography use – Pornography impacts sexual physical, mental and sexual health in many ways and we aren’t talking about it enough.

 

3. Get out of your head (meaning your brain) – Use breathing and mindfulness techniques in the bedroom instead of worrying and stressing about lasting long enough.

 

Maj Wismann – Web Sexolog

Maj Wismann

As a Master of Sexology and clinical sexologist this is a question I hear many times during a workweek.

 

If you want to last longer in bed as a man you can focus on the mastery of your excitement and arousal.

 

This is something you can practice and learn to know your body’s signals.

 

When you are a Master of your body’s signals you can learn to slow down – move the focus to your partner etc. and in this way you can drag on the ejaculation and orgasm.

 

Audrey Hope – Ask Audrey Now

Audrey Hope

For men who want to last longer in bed, they must take a new inner approach to sex, change their perception and RELAX.

 

You can’t just pressure your sexual organs to make them do what you want. Our bodies need another way to communicate.

 

For men, it can’t be just about performance, that puts pressure to be superficially “good in bed.”

 

To last longer, learn self-esteem and not the need to prove yourself.

 

Get into the way it is making you feel and the joy of pleasing your partner. Have sex because you want to please another and share divine experiences.

 

Alma Ramirez-Acosta – Vibio

Alma Ramirez-Acosta

A simple step towards lasting longer in bed is to spend more time pleasuring your partner at the beginning of the session.

 

It sounds obvious, but it will help even up the stage of arousal between you.

For a more long-term approach, combining breathwork and edging gives great results.

 

This means that you should practice getting to the point right before climax and stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and repeat this cycle as many times as possible.

 

Edging helps you understand your body’s arousal journey, from stimulation to climax, and gain control over what you want to happen next or when.

 

Bonus point, it will give you explosive orgasms thanks to all the build up!

When practicing lasting longer in bed, the most important thing to bear in mind is that it is as much of a physical exercise as a mental exercise.

 

We often underestimate how our minds take control over our bodies, whether it is in the shape of nerves, low self-esteem or disbelief in our own capabilities.

 

But doubting ourselves in bed is something we all go through in one way or another – it’s all about unlearning what we think we should be and focusing on turning sex into the most pleasurable, fun experience possible.

 

Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Remove the stigma.

Stop getting in your head so much. Remember how your parents would tell you not to lose sleep over a problem, and how relaxing will help?

 

That advice turned out to be timeless and is actually the key to understanding how you can subconsciously get some control.

 

Often men are too worried and end up underperforming in the bedroom, which causes greater anxiety and leads you into a downward spiral. Watch out for the signs – and trust me, your partner just wants to help and doesn’t judge you for it.

Practice makes perfect!

Nobody expects you to turn into a rowdy porn star overnight. Foreplay is your best friend, so take your time to really study your partner.

 

Consider using a thicker condom to decrease sensation and practice building control by stopping just before ejaculation and waiting 10-20 seconds, taking deep breaths, and squeezing the head.

Expand your definition of sex.

There’s a lot more to intimacy than just vaginal sex. In fact, that’s just a small part of the overall experience, so why not try to mix things up?

 

Communication with your partner is key – so work together to see what else works for you.

 

A lot of my clients enjoy watching new types of porn together and discover something they’ve often never even thought of! Be brave, be curious, and be unexpected!

 

Sonya Schwartz – Her Norm

Sonya Schwartz

I’ve been a relationship expert and I can say that there are indeed people that are concerned about how fast they end sexual activity.

 

This scenario sometimes creates conflicts in relationships saying that their partners are being unsatisfied with their performance in bed. But there are things a man can do to make it last longer.

 

One of the best pieces of advice that I can give is to keep exploring different positions. Switching and changing position can help you prolong it.

 

This also gives you time to rest your penis and calm it to prevent reaching the climax that instant.

 

In between changing positions, try to calm down and postpone it. In this way, you don’t need to risk the moment and cut the pleasure that your partner is having.

 

Moreover, switching and changing positions can increase intimacy during sex.

 

Your mind will as well be more focused on the position and on keeping your balance while in it. This also adds wilderness and playfulness during sex. It will eventually contribute to happier intercourse.

 

And besides, exploring different positions is what increases excitement and interest during sex. This will prevent both of you from being bored in a single position.

 

Tyler Dårlig Ulv – Bad Wolf

Tyler Dårlig Ulv

Often times the root of insecurity about lasting “long enough” or “performing” for men is found in the toxic upbringing lots of guys came into adulthood with.

 

Those things—especially the idea of having to perform—create anxiety and stress that doesn’t make sex better and enhances worry (and sometimes the likelihood of erection problems).

Instead of fixating on how looong you’re lasting, reframe how you approach sex time. So you cum real quick. Ok. Can you cum again in 30 or 40 minutes?

 

Awesome! Stretch your session across that span and focus on your partner while you’re recharging. Two loads is always more fun than one.

Can’t cum again for a long time? Begin doing some internal work about why sex ends for you once you bust. Consider talking with a therapist about it. Seriously!

Why does your orgasm mean it’s over? If you know how your body/penis will likely respond, plan ahead. Dive into what your partner wants with toys, tools, or your whole face, once your boner is out of the equation.

And lose the idea that there’s a “right” amount of duration for sex. That’s a myth perpetuated by sitcoms, movies, and the high fantasy of pornography. It’s not making you better in bed, or giving anybody else any pleasure. Bin it.

 

Raffi Bilek – Baltimore Therapy Center

Raffi Bilek

One way to extend your time spent loving is to focus your attention on your partner’s pleasure.

 

Make sure they’re enjoying what you’re doing, and pay attention to whether they want more of this or less of that.

 

The more focus you put on your partner, the less focus you’ll have on your own sensations, and the longer you’ll be able to stick it out taking care of their needs.

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

For men that want to last longer in bed, I would recommend experimenting with edging and orgasm control.

 

Edging is a technique where you get close to the point of orgasm then back down and do not allow yourself to orgasm. Then keep repeating until you are ready to orgasm.

 

This also helps you have more intense orgasms when you do finally let yourself have an orgasm. You can be do this solo or partnered, whatever suits your desires.

Dr. Betsy Greenleaf – Greenleaf Be Well

Betsy Greenleaf

Performance concerns are high amongst men. My biggest advice before trying blue pills and enhancement procedures has to do with muscle strength. We start to lose 3-5% of muscle mass yearly after the age of 30.

 

Though many go to the gym, most people forget to do exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles.

 

It is the pelvic floor muscles that give us ( men and women ) the ability to enjoy sexual activity, lengthen our sexual response, and increase the intensity of orgasm.

 

Simply starting with Kegel exercises and making a habit of continuing these exercises throughout life.

 

Kegel exercises can be performed by envisioning tightening your pelvic floor muscles…..these are the muscles that are used to hold in urine, gas or stool.

 

Tighten for the count of 10 and then relax and repeat for 3 more sets. You can also do an exercise called “quick flicks.” Tighten the same muscles quickly and then relax 10 times in a row and then repeat 3 sets.

 

Abductor machines in the gym, or rolling up a towel, or placing a ball between the legs while seated in a chair and squeezing can also strengthen these muscles.

Kegels are my biggest secret that anyone can do anywhere. Strong pelvic floor muscles will improve your response, performance and make your partner smile.

 

Dr. Robin Buckley

Robin Buckley

When my male clients ask about sustaining their sexual performance, the most significant suggestion I offer is for them to focus on their partner’s pleasure rather than their own.

 

By concentrating on the feedback a partner’s reactions are providing, a man shifts his focus from his own pleasurable sensations to those of his partners.

 

His thoughts are centered around listening to the feedback, and adjusting technique to get responses which signal a better experience for the partner.

 

For some men who need a specific objective, I encourage them to discover or learn one new thing about their partner’s sexual response or sensual preferences each time they engage in physical intimacy.

 

Having a clearly defined objective often provides that appropriate “distraction” to stay engaged longer.

 

Because he is no longer focused on his own physical sensations or his own increasing sexual response, he is able to last longer in bed.

 

It is beneficial to both individuals because it allows for more playtime, the partner is fully cared for, and the man learns more about his partner’s preferences, enjoying the partner’s experience until he is ready to return his attention to his own fulfillment.

 

Sureya Leonara

Sureya Leonara

Lasting longer in bed is about quality of presence, breath, and relaxation.

 

Contrary to popular advice to “think of something else,” cultivating stamina and a high-level of sexual mastery requires: tuning into the subtleties of how your sexual energy is moving, knowing where your edge is, and maintaining awareness to ride that edge without slipping over too soon.

If you’re in your head fantasizing during sex you’ll likely push over your edge faster or distract yourself from tracking your edge and disconnect from your lover.

 

Anything that takes you out of your body and into your head diminishes your presence and performance.

When approaching orgasm most men breathe shallow and rapidly which squeezes out sharp, short, explosive orgasms.

 

Slow, deep belly breathing calms the nervous system and relieves tension in the genitals which spreads pleasure throughout the entire body.

 

This supports greater stamina, deeper, longer orgasms and allows multiple full-body, non-ejaculatory orgasms to happen without a refractory period or loss of erection in between.

 

Dr. Stephanie Buehler – Learn Sex Therapy

Stephanie Buehler

One thing that rarely gets mentioned in regard to rapid ejaculation is the need to learn how to relax and tune in to one’s physical sensations and one’s partner’s sexual needs.

 

Becoming hyper-focused on lasting longer caused a man to lose his connection with the entirety of his body.

 

All he feels is the sensations in his genitals, instead of noticing all of the pleasurable things happening—the quickening of the pulse, the tensing of muscles, and the tautness of the skin.

 

He also loses his connection to his partner, who may complain that he is “selfish,” even though he is trying so hard to have longer intercourse.

There are different ways to learn relaxation, of course, but the easiest is to try regular deep breathing.

 

There are applications to remind you to breathe, and applications to help you regulate your breath. Deep breathing helps to calm both the body and the mind.

 

Then, when a man is having sex with their partner, they can use the breath to help regulate and slow things down.

 

Then they can pay attention to something besides his penis, and stay confident about having intercourse while they connect emotionally with their partner, instead of worrying about this being a distraction.

 

Rebecca Blanton – Love Letters To A Unicorn

Rebecca Blanton

Many people believe that the longer penetrative sex lasts, the better the sex must be. This belief is fostered by popular culture representations of “great sex” lasting “hours.”

 

However, when marriage and sex therapists were surveyed about what client reported was a satisfying or desirable length for penetration, the time ranged from seven to 13 minutes.

 

Many reported that people having as little as three minutes of penetrative sex reported it being adequate.

 

Additionally, more than a third reported that sex lasting more longer than 10 to 30 minutes was “too long.”

My question for people seeking to “last longer” in bed would be, “What is your motivation behind this desire?”

 

If the motivation is a belief that you just don’t last “long enough” or that lasting longer would make you better in bed, I would suggest you are looking for solutions in the wrong place.

 

If you and your partner(s) are enjoying the length of time you have penetrative sex, there is no need to increase you duration.

If you do not know if you partner(s) are enjoying the sex you are having, it’s time for an honest and open conversation about your sex life.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is because you are trying to help your partner reach orgasm and your current stamina does not lead them to climax, the duration may not be the issue.

 

For many women and people with vaginas, penetration alone will not lead to climax. Most folks with a vagina need stimulation of the clitoris, the nipples, or other erogenous zones to reach climax.

 

If your partner(s) have a penis, the slowness to climax may be due to discomfort (add lube! Go slow) or need for additional penial or ball stimulation.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is to prevent the end of the sexual encounter too soon, your climax does not need to signal the end of the encounter.

 

You have a mouth, fingers, and can introduce toys and other sexual stimuli to continue sex even after you have climaxed.

If you are among the approximate 4 percent of men who climax prematurely, you may want to consider various techniques for delaying orgasm.

 

To qualify medically as someone who experiences premature ejaculation, you must meet these criteria: climax within one minute, this has happened for at least six months, you find this distressing, and there are no other medical reasons for early ejaculation.

These techniques can be used by anyone seeking to increase sexual duration.

Edging

Edging is a technique any gender can use to help delay orgasm. This involves stimulating penis (or genitals) until you feel close to orgasm and then stopping.

 

Practicing this repeatedly can help some people delay orgasm. It is also very fun to engage in with a partner. Bring you partner close to orgasm and then stop.

 

Doing this repeatedly before climax can lead to enhanced orgasms for many people.

Hypnosis

Hypnosis, either by a professional or learned with a partner, can help delay ejaculation. There are several prominent sex educators who regularly teach classes on hypnosis and how to use it for intimacy.

 

Take a few classes on hypnosis and sex. This can be a great option is you have a partner you trust to practice with.

Condoms

Condoms are a tried-and-true technique for many men in delaying ejaculation. If you are not currently using condoms with a partner, discuss adding them to your intimate encounters.

 

The additional layer between you and a partner can lessen sensations and delay orgasm.

Amanda Lambros

Amanda Lambros

Sexual preferences matters to some but not all couples.

 

Understanding why you are in a relationship and whether that is an important component to you is first and foremost.

 

If it is, seek help from a sexologist to learn some skills to apply in the bedroom and level up your sexual prowess.

 

If you aren’t able to collaborate on your sexual preferences and it’s a non-negotiable for you, say goodbye and move on to your next partner.

 

Erin Dierickx – Erin D Therapy

Erin Dierickx

The Stop-Start and Squeeze techniques. While in bed, you or your partner can begin stimulating the penis with a dry hand, lightly and slowly. Do this until you have a firm erection.

 

When you start to get close to ejaculating, signal to your partner to pause stimulation or squeeze the penis.

 

This increases your awareness of when you are about to ejaculate and can start to build a tolerance to last longer the more this is done.

Take turns pleasuring each other.

 

Focus on each other one at a time in order to heighten your enjoyment of the pleasure and focus on the sensations. This is a form of mindfulness in bed.

 

It is a way for you to stay present and by taking turns, this helps you last longer due to pleasuring your partner while you are pausing your own stimulation.

 

This will continue to build your tolerance over time for lasting longer.

Get on the bottom. Men are physiologically more able to control their ejaculation when they are on the bottom rather than on top during sex.

 

Lachlan Brown – Hack Spirit

Lachlan Brown

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to combine effective mental and physical techniques.

 

On the physical side I’d recommend pelvic floor exercises, healthy diet and reducing the amount of red meat you are eating.

 

On the mental side, I’d recommend taking things slow in the bedroom and appreciating every inch of your lover instead of going straight to the “main course.”

 

This will slow down the idea of sex as some kind of prize or being all about the climax.

 

In sex, as in life, it’s the journey that counts more than just the destination.

 

Renée Mayne

Renée Mayne

The easiest way for men to last longer in bed is to change the way they view sex, we put so much focus on foreplay and orgasm we forget the depth and fun that we can experience in the middle.

 

You see, subconsciously we know the orgasm feels amazing and we just want to get there! Especially for men because they are so goal oriented.

We have a natural desire to speed up when we get excited, but instead we need to slow down and come back to the breath.

 

Learn to tap into the energy of your body and you can redistribute the energy from beyond the penis and move it throughout the body.

 

The key is to not contract the muscles and relax the muscles, this opens us up to not only lasting longer in bed but better orgasms.

 

Be patient with it and it requires presence and it’s so worth it.

 

James Kelly – Ed Clinics

Premature ejaculation (PE) can often be a problem for men who have erectile dysfunction (PE).

 

Since an erection goes away after ejaculation, it can be difficult to know if the problem is PE or ED.

Erectile dysfunction affects over 66% of men at some point in their lives, and becomes more likely with age.

 

If you are experiencing both the symptoms of ED and PE, it’s important that you speak to your doctor about the ED first, as for 90% of men over 40, it can be a symptom of an underlying health condition, most commonly cardiovascular disease or diabetes.

 

Your doctor may suggest lifestyle changes, medication, or treatments like shockwave therapy for ED. Once you have treated the root cause of the ED, you may find that the symptoms of PE disappear.

One simple action you can take at home to combat both the symptoms of ED and PE is pelvic floor exercises. These train the muscles that keep blood in the penis, making maintaining an erection and delaying ejaculation much easier.

 

Pelvic floor exercises are simple, and the easiest ones can be performed sitting at a desk.

 

  • Tense your muscles around the lower base of your penis, as if you were trying to stop urinating.
  • Hold for five seconds.
  • Release.
  • Repeat for five sets of ten, twice a day.

 

Dr. Laura Meihofer

Laura Meihofer

As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I recommend two simple exercises to increase orgasm control.

1. The first exercise starts outside the bedroom.

 

Start by gently tightening your pelvic floor muscles as if you are stopping the flow of urine. You should feel a lift or squeeze around your penis or perineum.

 

Next, take a slow deep breath into your belly. Pay attention to your penis, testicles, and/or perineum as you should feel a slight drop with inhalation.

 

This is relaxation and lengthening of the pelvic floor muscles that control erection and orgasm. It is important that you feel and control these motions inside and outside the bedroom.

 

Practice these motions in your daily life but also when you engage in sex.

2. Becoming familiar with your arousal spectrum and learning to control your orgasm is essential to lasting longer in bed.

 

Consider your arousal spectrum to be a 10 point scale. 0 is the equivalent to no sexual arousal while 10 is maximum sexual arousal and/or orgasm.

 

As you spend time with yourself and/or your partner, practice working your way up the scale and how your body reacts at each number.

 

When trying to last longer in bed, the aim is to stay around a 6 – 8 on this scale.

 

As you approach 7-9 on the scale, communicate the need to change things up with your partner such as changing positions, rhythm, and stimulation style to bring it back down to 6-8.

 

Stephanie Wijkstrom – Counseling and Wellness Center

Stephanie Wijkstrom

If you are concerned about being an adequate lover and want to fulfill your partners sexual needs, you do not necessarily need to be able to offer 30 minute sex sessions.

 

It is a cruel joke by nature that women take up to 20 minutes to reach orgasm and up to 9 minutes to reach full arousal, but men can reach arousal in under a minute and orgasm in 2-5 minutes.

 

Any true renaissance man can bridge this gap to greater sexual intimacy by offering more foreplay.

 

Keep in mind, 20 minutes of foreplay is worth 5 minutes of penetrative sex. Let there be a long build up as the key to helping your partner achieve orgasm.

 

Edwina Caito – Bedbible

There are a few ways for a man to last longer in bed, however, it depends on how far he is willing to go in order to achieve that longevity.

 

Other than thinking about baseball or great-aunt Ethel, here are some helpful tips:

Go slow: Slowing things down by prolonging foreplay, taking small breaks for water then starting in lesser-exciting sexual positions.

 

For instance, if he climaxes more quickly in the doggy style position, try spooning or missionary first.

A little help from a toy: Erection rings are an easy and pleasurable way to last longer in bed.

 

An erection ring is placed at the base of the penis or around the shaft and testicles. This creates a stronger erection, makes the penis more sensitive and delays ejaculation making sex better for both partners.

 

Best yet, some erection rings come with built-in clitoral stimulators! Who knows, you may climax together!

Practice makes perfect: You would think that masturbation is counterproductive.

 

But masturbating earlier in the day, before sex, can actually help in delaying climax later.

 

Some men have found great success using Fleshlights made specifically for building endurance (Stamina Training Kits), as well as penis pumps and erection rings combined.

 

Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn – Luvbites

Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

Last longer in bed with sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices
In my years of researching the key to maximum and sustainable sexual satisfaction I found that sexual mindfulness is the most promising contributing factor for men to last longer in bed.

 

Sexual mindfulness therapy is already being used to treat various sex concerns including sexual desires, erectile dysfunction, and other sexual functioning. Tantric sex is more on a spiritual than scientific path, but both are similar.

To last longer, I recommend sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices such as sensual meditation and edging.

 

Use guided meditation and touch to do sensual meditation. Don’t pursue if you get an erection.

 

Edging is when you’re about to cum and you stop (whether you’re having sex or masturbating). These practices should help you last longer in bed!

 

Shari James

Shari James

Most men’s sexual encounters start with anxiety and end in an oops!

These men are then diagnosed with premature ejaculation as the problem. I see their problem as simply being a lack of education and training.

These guys may place the blame on the woman that they are with… she gets him too excited. Or they may place the blame on being uncircumcised.

But I see the problem as how you are training yourself. You must understand that each time you self pleasure, you are creating neural circuitry in your brain and laying down tracks that create a habitual response.

 

If self pleasure is a quick stress reliever then that is how you are programming yourself.

Slow down and take your time during self pleasure.

 

Because ejaculation is an involuntary response of the sympathetic nervous system you’ll want to combine masturbation with meditation by breathing deep, full and slow all the way down into your belly…this will put you in a state of relaxed arousal.

During self pleasure shift your context from “getting off” to preparing to be an amazing lover.

 

Carrie Leaf

Carrie Leaf

The reasons to why a man may struggle to last long in bed can be because of many different issues, but one general shift a man could try to work on would be to truly be present in the moment and noticing the details of the experience.

 

Particularly the details of their partners experience as opposed to their own.

 

When there is a shift from a physical experience alone to a spiritual level and a connection between partners, it is often an entirely different experience.

 

Dr. Joe Kort

Here is some advice to help men last longer in bed:

 

  1. Masturbate a few hours before you plan to have sex. This will help you last longer because the penis is desensitized. Unlike women, men need a longer refractory period – from a few minutes to a few hours.
  2. Use a Trojan Extended Pleasure condom. It contains a small amount of climax-control lubricant, which decreases sensitivity and slows down ejaculation.
  3. Try edging (intentionally stopping yourself right before the point of orgasm and then starting up again). It prolongs pleasure as well as the duration of sexual activity.
  4. Slow down. Focus on pleasuring your partner first and you last.
  5. Squeeze the head of your penis for 10 to 20 seconds if you feel you are ready to ejaculate. The pinching will reduce your erection and help you last longer.
  6. Try a penis sleeve. Some sleeves lessen sensation and help you last longer.
  7. If your partner is a woman, have her on top and facing away from you. This “reverse cowgirl” position allows the woman to stimulate her clitoris and climax before you.
  8. Use Trojan’s new Extended Pleasure benzocaine delay spray, an endurance enhancer that temporarily prolongs the time until ejaculation. Apply a small amount to the head and shaft of the penis before intercourse. It can be used with Trojan latex condoms.

 

Indigo Stray Conger – Choosing Therapy

Indigo Stray Conger

Practice lasting longer on your own, especially if you tend to masturbate to climax quickly.

 

Stimulate your penis as you typically would and then try to pause multiple times once you arrive at a high excitation point.

 

Learn to extend the period of excitation before release. This is called edging or orgasm control and it is the best way to learn how to improve performance during sexual activity.

 

Men who orgasm quickly often feel as if they have no control over the excitation process or when they orgasm.

 

However, climaxing quickly is usually the result of habit and can be overcome by paying attention to your body’s excitation cycle.

 

Amanda Pasciucco – Life Coaching and Therapy

Amanda Pasciucco

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to notice the difference between penetrating a mouth, vagina, or anus vs that of a hand or a sex toy.

 

Solo sex is different than partnered sex. If you are having partnered sex, chances are the orifice you are penetrating feels different than that of your hand.

 

Be mindful and switch up your hand techniques.

 

Similarly, if that isn’t enough, be aware that using a condom is not something to be ashamed of. It helps many men last longer and therefore, I know men who decide to wear them for this reason.

 

Andrew Aaron – Help For Passion

Andrew Aaron

Most men want to be great lovers. For that purpose they wish to maintain erections as long as possible.

 

Strategies exist to succeed at that, but lasting longer is also possible by holding realistic expectations and eliminating some obstacles.

 

Confident men who know their feelings, who are able to relax and enjoy a quality emotional connection with their sexual partners will have greater success.

 

So eliminating anxiety, like the kind produced by worry about too-soon ejaculation, as well as internal pressure to perform promotes lasting longer. Sex is a very emotional activity!

 

How can I use my hammer to produce a butterfly? Many women do not orgasm from intercourse (though many fake it).

 

The hardest erection and the most vigorous thrusting still may not result in her orgasm because intercourse doesn’t provide clitoral stimulation. Being realistic about this is important.

 

Talk to your partner. To last longer it is best to be relaxed, playful and have fun during sex. To do so, stay out of your head (the big one, I mean). You may shift your attention to slow your pace towards ejaculation.

 

If you are getting too aroused, move your attention to away from the sensations that are most arousing, such as your penis and to a less arousing place or activity like caressing or kissing your partner.

 

Where your attention goes, there also will go your hot sexual energy. So if you are speeding to orgasm before the time is right, shift your attention to your breathing or other body sensations instead of the exciting action.

 

Requesting a change and reduction in stimulation from your partner at this time can help. When orgasm grows near before the right time, you will notice the heat in your pelvis and penis.

 

Through visualizing the hot energy flowing out of your pelvis and spreading throughout your body you will cool your pelvis, interrupting it from building to an explosion through ejaculation.

 

Getting good at lasting longer can help you be a better man in every part of your life.

 

Rachel Sommer – My Sex Toy

Rachel Sommer

While we can’t shun away from the excitement and adrenaline of quickies, sex should be, for the most time, enjoyed without time constraints.

 

Unfortunately, certain factors like age, disease, medication, and anxiety might lead to premature ejaculation.

 

So, here’s my best advice for lasting longer in bed: Train Your Pelvic Muscles Located just below your prostate, the pelvic floor is vital in sexual stamina training. Yes!

 

A 2005 study, among others, found that 3 in 4 men improved erectile function after Kegel exercises.

 

Strengthening the pelvic floor – pubococcygeal (PC) muscles help you control yourself during sex to withhold the urge to orgasm, thus delaying ejaculation.

 

And the best thing about it is just like every other muscle in your body, these muscles can be strengthened with regular exercise.

 

To work out the pelvic muscles, simulate the act of stopping yourself from peeing midstream or passing gas, and you’ll feel the muscles between your penis and rectum move.

 

You can also identify the pelvic floor muscles by trying to lift your balls without using your hands. You feel them. Don’t you?

 

And to tone the muscles:

 

  • Tighten the muscles – standing, sitting, or lying down.
  • Hold tight for 3 seconds before releasing for another 3 seconds.
  • Repeat as many times as needed – at least 10 reps a day. Kegel exercising combined with other tactics like switching positions, wearing the right condoms, and edging can make a great difference in your sex life.

Samantha Moss – Romantific

Samantha Moss

Since women take a longer time to orgasm, men need a lot of stamina to last longer in bed. As a dating and relationship expert, factors like inexperience, overstimulation, and anxiety may cause premature ejaculation in men.

 

However, these concerns can be addressed, and doing so can lead to happier, healthier sex life.

Take it slow. To help your partner last longer in bed, ask him to take things slow. This gives him enough time to stimulate you and slow down his ejaculation.

 

Pacing himself can also help, starting with slow thrusts that gradually increase into faster ones.

Change positions. Shifting positions requires you to take a break and slow down movements. It allows your body to cool down because it doesn’t get as much stimulation.

 

A great tip would be to switch to positions that don’t penetrate as deeply, giving you more time to last in bed.

Talk to your partner. Getting support from your partner is the best thing to do under the circumstances. Being open and honest can do a lot of good for your relationship, as well as improve intimacy.

 

Explain to your partner your desire to last longer, so that they can understand what’s happening.

 

Sarah Rose Bright

Sarah Rose Bright

Most men contract their bodies during arousal (whether clenching their buttocks, thighs etc) and amplify this even more hoping this will help them last longer in bed.

 

If you want to last longer, put your attention on relaxing and enjoying the pleasure in the moment rather than focusing on the goal of lasting longer.

 

Men can be worried that if they relax into their pleasure they will ejaculate more quickly however with practice they will find that it is in relaxation that their pleasure can expand and grow and they last longer.

 

This is best explored on your own at first.

 

Also, be mindful of your breath – is it shallow? are you holding your breath at times? Both are very common.

 

Take slower and fuller breaths  and make some sound, even if only on the exhale. It helps you to relax.

 

Kate Sloan – Girly Juice

Kate Sloan

Best advice for men who want to last longer in bed: Take a break and do something else.

 

The majority of people with vulvas don’t reach climax from penetration alone anyway, so if giving your partner pleasure is the goal, penetration isn’t always the right thing to focus on.

 

Try stopping what you’re doing and giving your partner oral sex for a while instead, or using your hands on them.

 

Michelle Devani – Love Devani

Michelle Devani

As a relationship expert, I understand it’s normal for guys to finish too fast every once and a while, however if you ejaculate during less than a minute of intercourse regularly then you may have a problem.

If you’re having trouble finishing so soon, seeking the help of your spouse might be really beneficial. To initiate, inform your spouse that you really want to attempt lasting longer and see if they are willing to take part.

 

Additionally, because hypersensitivity can cause sexual dysfunction, using a condom is a simple treatment that can help sex lasting longer.

 

The condom serves as a barrier around the penis, lessening orgasm and possibly causing ejaculation to be disrupted.

 

The pause-squeeze method also helps sex last longer, having sex till you feel like you’re about to get done. Then, for a second, pull out and squeeze the head of your penis, or until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

 

Finally, continue to have sex as needed while repeating the method. Thrusting aggressively produces orgasm in a short period of time.

 

Positions and styles that restrict your movements, such as having your spouse on top of you, can be beneficial since you won’t lose control and start thrusting too fast.

 

April Maccario – Ask April

April Maccario

It’s humiliating, it’s unexpected, and it turns what should be one of life’s greatest joys into one of life’s greatest disappointments, but as the founder of a dating website who understands relationships, it’s both frustrating and common among men.

 

There are several smart and healthy strategies to reduce your premature ejaculation and extend your time in bed.

 

The following tactics will boost your chances of being able to have longer sex sessions than you’re used to:

Seek assistance from your partner. This may help your partner understand your frustrations.

 

Once you’ve established a line of communication with your partner, you may talk about what causes your orgasm and try out some techniques.

Do pelvic floor exercises. Experts feel that if your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, delaying your ejaculation would be more difficult.

 

Act as if you’re attempting to stop yourself from peeing or passing gas to flex your pelvic floor muscles, and notice which muscles move.

Do the slower pace. Slow down as much as possible, then take frequent breaks to go even slower.

 

Thrusting frequently produces intense sensations and may increase your chances of orgasming after a short period.

 

Nikolina Jeric – 2Date4Love

Nikolina Jeric

Here are some tactics that can help men last longer in bed:

Practice Kegels exercises.

 

Unlike common opinion, Kegels exercises aren’t for women only – men also have pelvic floor muscles that can be built and straightened.

 

The point is – if your pelvic floor muscles are weak, you’ll have a hard time controlling premature ejaculation. If you work on building muscles in this area, you’ll have more control over your ejaculation and last longer in bed.

 

One way to practice Kegels exercises is to lay down and flex pelvic floor muscles for 3 seconds and relax them. Repeat this process a few times for maximum results

Try the cowgirl position.

 

If you haven’t tried, maybe it’s the right time to practice more the cowgirl position. The secret hides in the fact that women control the pace and thrust, allowing you to delay the orgasm.

 

Jackie Golob – Shameless Therapy

Jackie Golob

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is seek out a sex therapist for this work!

 

In sex therapy, that therapist is going to help with realistic expectations, correcting mythology of “lasting long,” incorporating bibliotherapy to read up on this topic from reputable sources.

 

Also, changing thoughts related to worrying about maintaining an erection, anxiety reduction techniques, focusing on communication skills with their partner(s), expanding sexual repertoire with various levels of desire and maintaining an erection, and exercises with their partner for sex therapy work.

 

There is no magic way to last longer in bed.

 

Another thing to look into is if there is something medically/biologically/genetically going on, and seeking out a doctor if this is the case.

 

30% of sexual disorders are medical and 70% is mental, so there’s got to be a both and approach.

 

Balancing out let’s check to see if there is something medically going on and mentally what’s getting in the way of maintaining an erection.

 

Have there been shameful messages? Unsupportive partners? Negative thoughts?

 

The best advice is to seek help from a sex therapist professional that specializes in this field and this is their niche to get the best support.

 

Marsha Jackson – FoxTail

Marsha Jackson

It’s no secret that many males find orgasm more easily than women.

 

That, along with the fact that premature ejaculation is the most common sexual illness in males under the age of 40, means you may find yourself unsatisfied after he’s done.

 

It’s a terrible bummer to discover his good times are ended before you’ve even begun.

Some people may discover that foreplay allows them to extend their sexual activity. These people may enjoy and please their spouse without having to worry about ejaculating too soon.

 

As a result, incorporating oral sex or manual stimulation into one’s sexual activities may be beneficial, especially if penetrative sex is unlikely to endure long enough for all partners to experience orgasm.

Exercises for the pelvic floor muscles supporting the bladder and facilitating ejaculation can be strengthened using Pelvic Floor Exercises.

 

When urinating, one can tighten up and stop the flow for 5–10 seconds before restarting. They should be able to progress to longer holds by performing this several times each day.

Premature ejaculation can be helped with medication, but doctors typically only do so when all other options have failed.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants, can alter the sexual function and make orgasm more difficult. As a result, SSRIs may assist in postponing ejaculation and extend a person’s lifespan.

 

Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Let’s start with Socrates; “Know yourself.”

 

Exploring our erogenous zones, engaging in sexual arousal, consciously gauging the sexual energy concentrating in our genitalia and flowing throughout the body, and ultimately practicing ‘edging orgasms’ are all means to lasting longer in bed.

 

‘Edging orgasms’ refers to getting to the threshold of having a full body orgasm but without passing over to the point of spasm and ejaculation.

 

A practical approach to edging orgasms is by exercising ‘sensate focus’, or focusing attention on the changing intensity of sexual neuromuscular euphoria and consciously controlling sexual stimulation.

In essence, ‘sensate focus’ is akin to ‘mindfulness’ with which we can develop the ability to exercise greater discipline of our sexual stimuli and responses.

 

An ideal means to practice lasting longer in bed is to practice ‘mindful masturbation’ or holistically exploring our erogenous zones and acknowledging what feels good or not.

 

This level of self-knowledge can make us better communicators and have more fulfilling partnered sex.

 

Our focus is not on rushing to orgasm but instead on generating and sustaining different levels of sexual pleasure.

 

Joel Flynn – Gentleman Zone

Joel Flynn

Sex is pretty much like any other physical activity. You get better at it when training. To get the best of you, train your pelvic floor muscles.

 

Exercises called kegels or kegel are series of different contraction and release sequences that ultimately and literally train and increase your sexual strength and ejaculation control.

 

Of course, going ahead with more complex sports, such as swimming, hugely benefits durability and stamina, too.

 

How long do kegels need to kick in, you’d ask? In my opinion, you should aim for at least a month.

 

Carmel Jones – The Big Fling

Carmel Jones

While there are products that men can try to last longer in bed, I have found that more organic techniques are the most effective.

 

Lasting longer is a mental challenge just as much as it is a physical challenge. That’s why I often don’t recommend techniques that require too much thought as it might take away from the pleasure of sex itself.

 

Men will read about edging or the squeeze technique. While those work, they are also very specific. Here are two of the easiest ways to last longer in bed:

Increase the amount of foreplay: Lasting longer in bed doesn’t have to mean just penetrative sex. “In bed” can refer to the sexual experience as a whole.

 

Increasing the amount of time you dedicate to foreplay or teasing your partner’s pleasure zones before penetrating will make their sexual experience last longer.

 

While it doesn’t technically keep you from ejaculating sooner, it lengthens the amount of time your partner receives pleasure before you ejaculate.

Masturbate before sex: Masturbating before sex is an easy thing you can do to help yourself last longer; however, it works better for older men. This is because men have a refractory period after they orgasm.

 

The younger the man, the shorter the period. It can range anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours. On average, it’s about 45 minutes to an hour.

 

So, if you masturbate less than an hour before you have sex, you will last longer in bed as your body will still be in that refractory period.

 

Rose Collette Aston – London Tantric

Rose Collette Aston

If you want to last longer in bed, you need to harness your sexual energy. That’s not easy if you haven’t been taught how to listen to your body.

 

You must develop a greater awareness of the physical and mental triggers that lead you to orgasm — the only way to learn about these is by paying close attention to the things that stimulate your body and mind when you’re experiencing genuine intimacy.

 

Only then will you be able to gain greater control of your unconscious urges.

Through tantric massage, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how your body responds to erotic, intensely pleasurable triggers.

 

With the help of a professional masseuse — preferably a qualified massage therapist trained in the ancient art of tantra — you’ll be taught how to channel your sexual energies.

 

This can help you access incredible, other-worldly pleasures without finishing before your partner.

By making yourself more aware of what turns you on, you’ll acquire greater control of your body and mind to have sex for longer.

 

The most important thing is that you still experience sensual pleasure that can be enjoyed long before a final, blissful release.

 

Lacie Mae Gabor

Lacie Mae Gabor

Staying power in bed is a struggle for many men. The good news is there are several things men can do to help themselves last longer.

 

One of the easiest ways is to purchase thicker condoms which decrease sensitivity.

 

Waiting until your partner is begging for sex before inserting yourself is key.

 

The woman will be close to achieving an orgasm due to her high level of arousal and you will (hopefully) be able to last long enough during penetration to ensure she achieves an orgasm.

 

Less stimulating foreplay and sexual positions will also help. If you know you’re easily aroused, then spend the majority of your foreplay pleasuring your partner.

 

Change things up before you get too turned on. Turn the attention back to her and make sure she’s turned on since women typically require more foreplay.

 

Finally, working on your mind game is essential. Men who are able to distract themselves with other thoughts and decrease their arousal, are able to last longer.

 

So, the next time you’re about to have sex and want to make sure you can go the distance, try implementing some of the above strategies!

 

Paul J Hunter – Cork Hypnosis Clinic

Paul J Hunter

The number one tip I would have for guys to help them last longer in bed is to improve their level of self love and self esteem.

 

Sex can become like a judgement to a lot of guys if they wonder if are they good enough or do they measure up to their partners last partner.

 

We are constantly unconsciously looking for signs that our partner is enjoying it.

 

The moment a guy spots a reaction that’s less that might be expected, if he has a self esteem problem, he can self criticize and negatively impact his performance.

 

Confidence and self belief are key to good sexual performance.

 

Robert Thomas – Sextopedia

Robert Thomas

The more pressure you put on yourself to perform well in bed, the sooner you will actually ejaculate. Being anxious about lasting long is precisely what will make you orgasm quicker.

 

So, going into sex with a relaxed and confident mindset will surely have an impact on your performance in bed.

 

You can also try edging – stopping physical stimulus to your penis just as you’re about to orgasm.

 

While masturbating, be very aware of how close to orgasm you are, and stop right before you’re reaching an orgasm. Let your arousal go down for about 10 seconds, and then start masturbating again.

 

Do this several times during your masturbation session. You can transfer this to actual sex by stopping when you think you’re about to reach an orgasm.

 

Instead, try giving oral sex to your partner, or simply switch up positions. This will surely be a game changer for you to last longer in bed!

 


Thank you to all the experts that have contributed to this expert roundup! If you enjoyed reading this post then please share it with your friends and followers on social media.

 

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