How to Orgasm

How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

How to Orgasm – Vulva Edition

 

One of the most commonly asked questions by women coming to our practice is “how to orgasm?”

 

Is there really just one answer to the question of how to orgasm though? I think not! 

 

If you ask women internationally from ages 18 and up, you might be surprised at what responses you get.

 

Vulva owners each have different things that make us tick and different sensations within sex that are orgasmic. 

 

A few vulva owners report enjoying penetration and fullness feeling of the vagina, while others want to focus on the magic of the clitoral gland. 

 

How to orgasm when you have a vulva can change over time – making it even more fun to discover new techniques along the way. Especially for those of you with one long term partner, it is often exciting to discover your partner’s “new thing” when it happens for them. 

 

Learning Curves:

 

Finding what you like is key on how to orgasm, along with not getting discouraged during experimentation. 

 

  • Consistency is key for most women. Continuing the motion which feels the best is what can bring the orgasm pulsating through you.
  • Do not go harder, or faster, or softer unless the vulva owner asks for it. 
    • Just maintain the same motion and if you are using an external clitoral vibrator, consider upping or lowering the intensity based on your needs.
    • There is a moment when you feel an orgasm approaching. Sticking with it makes the feeling grow into a full-body climax.

 

How to Orgasm Each Time 

 

People with penises may not mind if you go harder, faster, or change it up at the end of the stimulation, as the orgasm and ejaculation will still be there.  

 

For vulva owners though, sometimes we want the same motion to the point of climax and orgasm.

 

There is nothing wrong with liking the same way of orgasming! 

 

Techniques to Avoid When You Are Learning How To Orgasm:

 

  • Avoid asking the question: “Are you close?” This can deter the orgasm from even happening. 
  • The mind quickly shifts to other questions, like am I taking too long? 
  • Am I boring them? Which in the long run is known as an orgasm killer.

 

Try These: 

 

  • Moving targets – it is not easy keeping the same movement or position when hips are squirming and bodies are moving. Yet try to stay consistent, because if it is do-able, it is rewarding. 
  • Pattern pleasure – tap your feet to the beat of your favorite song. That is the rhythm, and your repeated moves in the bedroom – whether it is rubbing, tapping, or penetrating with a finger, tongue, phallus, or toy – can have the same beat. 
  • By experimenting with rhythm and zeroing in on what feels best, you can take your orgasm to the next level.

 

How To Orgasm with Rhythm:

 

  • Skipping- take a break in between each motion and cause a sweet frustration. 
    • It’s like only half scratching an itch, which creates a desire that’s not 100% satisfied 
    • This can lead to a slower build up and longer more satisfying orgasm. 
  • Raindrop touch is an irregular pattern with different amounts of time in between each motion. 
    • Creates a randomness that is exciting because the clit does not know what is next.
  • Back-to-back movement is when you repeat your motion right after finishing the last one with no pauses in between. With this rhythm, there is not time for pleasure to die down between each motion.
  • Constant butterfly pulsating is where the rhythm is so fast it is almost a blur. 
    • You move so quickly that the touch becomes a flutter. 
    • After all, this is why vibrators are so popular. With penetration, pulsating is an extremely popular stroke because it allows a tiny amount of movement to constantly stimulate the clit.

 

Ways to explore:

 

  • Experimentation: It’s fun to take what motions you already know feel great and try adjusting the rhythm in a different way to see if your orgasm is even better.
  • Slow Burn: By slowing the rhythm in the buildup to prolong and extend the orgasm might cause frustration or be hard to stick with yet if you can hang on through it, the rewards are well worth it.
  • Pressure: You don’t have to press too hard. Rhythmic movements can be very subtle and still feel wonderful. Think about how a vibrator’s micro-movements feel …. Those feel pretty great right?
  • Irregular Movements- Some people just don’t like irregular motions and need things to be consistent. 

 

Any of these techniques can help with how to orgasm or enhance your current routine. Remember the fun in having an orgasm is the exploring and adventure along the way.

 

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

 

 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

New Types of Apocalypse Pleasure With Sex Machines

As I work with more and more adults, I realize that sex machines are not common knowledge.

For those of you who have a difference of desire with your partners, and enjoy the sensation of penetrative pleasure, looking into a sex machine!

Apocalypse Pleasure

Honestly, it may save a sensual partnership between the two of you!

  • Are you looking for something adventurous?
  • Would you like to learn about sexual liberation?
  • Are you a bit on the edgy side?

If you said yes, I believe that sexual products, including sex machines, can be a way to get there.

Think of it like penetration – just without stopping.

For those of you who are feeling lonely during the pandemic, sex machines of high quality can help. It will give you the orgasm that you may desire, as it can help you relax. At first, receiving may seem weird, yet it’s actually quite natural to find daily pleasure.

Does it matter what others think, really? During the apocalypse, pleasure is needed. Pleasure is healing!

Sex machines range from cheap to expensive, just like any toy. Mostly, they come with just the machine, yet you can buy some where the dildo comes with it.

If you don’t know how to pick a dildo or detachable vibrator, see our blog on how to safely use a vibrator, and this can help you decide what is right for you.

Let’s Talk Price of Sex Machines

The cheaper the sex machine, the more likely it will not penetrate smoothly.

For example, sex machines under $250 USD are small, portable, and convenient in that one regard. However, at the exact same time, they don’t work well because they get stuck. Unfortunately, they do not penetrate deep enough. Which means that sometimes the vagina or anus can pull the machine off the floor!

This makes for more fun rather than pleasure.

Therefore, consider a $500 USD range of a toy where there is a drill-shaped sex machine where you can buy an inter-changable dildo toys to latch on tightly,

This sometimes looks like an electric drill you would use to build furniture, just with a different type of attachment.

For those of you who want the entire sex machine in all it’s glory, you are looking at spending $1000 USD or more. They will have the ability, like you may have seen in a porn or at a bunny ranch, to be adjusted to various angles and sometimes can have more than one thrusting mechanism on the machine.

Discretion is important, so find one that can fold up in a place where others would not find it. There is no shame in pleasure. However, there is a convenience to clear out your room and have a large object fit comfortably in a place that you have made for it.

Why Is It Weird?

Think back to when you were young, controlling the volume of your voice and containing your pleasure.

Now, as an adult, you can make your own fun choices. If you want to be creative, you can use a toy for pleasure – without shaming it!

If you are partnered, and you are concerned about a difference in pleasure between you and your partner, a sex machine alone or partnered can be fun.

Remember, be sure to clean all toys after using them.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Best Sex Toys for Couples – To Use with Your Partner

Playing with your partner is important in keeping the spark in your relationship so here are the best sex toys for couples. 

Toys are great for play, ask around. 

Using toys on your partner during sex is sure to give a greater experience. 

Sure, mouths, hands and genitals are great, yet you can only use those so much without fatiguing. Making sex toys a part of your sexual routine gives you something different. An out of the ordinary experience!

You can decide to spice things up with toys both of you enjoy. Have the initial conversation first. Do they want to? What kind of toys are you talking about? Find information on the internet since the choices are limitless. If you are choosing your first toys, decide on beginner-level options, and graduate to more complicated ones.

For those in the market for sex toys to try, which you must be given you are still reading this article, here are 10 options. Some of them are store specific while others are general suggestions that can be found in most sex stores when you ask about best sex toys for couples.

1.Jive Couples Vibrator

This tool by We-Vibe is best for penetration glory. 

It provides the satisfaction of penetrative stimulation and the We-Vibe Jive is an egg-shaped vibrator with a remote control. The best part is you can control it using your smartphone! 

The Jive vibrator is inserted into your partner during oral sex. It is a great foreplay toy. You can wear it during a dinner date and allow your partner to control it through the evening. 

When you get home, all the pent up sexual tension will not fit on any scale.

It goes for $112.05 on Amazon at the time of publishing. 

2.Satisfyer’s Partner Whale

This vibrator by Satisfyer is made specifically for heterosexual or other sex couples. It has two powerful motors and a curvature that allows pleasure for both partners. 

The Partner Whale has a thick part that lies on the clit as the extension goes inside the vagina. The extension targets the G-spot while massaging the penis at the same time.

It has buttons for convenience. The buttons control three vibration intensities and about seven rhythms. The Partner Whale is a beginner tool that is made to impress and help both partners climax. It costs $29.95 on Amazon at the time of publishing. 

3.Complete Le Wand Pleasure Set

There is nothing like a toy to be enjoyed on your own and with a partner.

That is what the Le Wand pleasure set offers.

The set comes with various attachments depending on your needs. The wand can be used as a vibrator. By adding the attachments, it allows for anal penetration, clitoris stimulation and can hit the G-spot!

It is a toy for everyone and can be enjoyed when you are alone and with a partner. It is charged at $234.99 at the time of writing this blog at lewandmassager.com. 

Use PayPal to buy it, as their customer service isn’t the best in my experience. 

4.Foreplay Dice

You can never have enough foreplay. Lovehoney have ensured this by creating these sex dice for your pleasure. One dice has verbs: lick, spank, kiss etc. The other has nouns: mouth, thigh, neck etc.

Each partner can take a turn to roll the dice. They have to do what each verb and noun combo say. It is a fun foreplay game to keep your blood boiling.

The Lovehoney Oh! Roll Play Foreplay Dice go for $9.99 at the time of this blog on the Lovehoney official website: lovehoney.com. 

5.Tomboi Harness

The Tomboi harness is perfect for relationships with no penis. In case one of you wants to experience penetrative sex, this harness is the answer! It can fit any dildo that exists in the universe and it is made of silky material. It fits just like normal underwear and is comfortable. Wear it and thump your way into your partner’s insides.

6.Sex Wedge or Ramp

Sex is best enjoyed in different positions. It needs variety, in strokes and positioning. The sex ramp helps to put your partner in these very much needed variety of positions. Using a sex ramp allows you and your partner to explore new ways to bend your bodies. It offers more chances for deeper penetration.

A great sex ramp should be comfortable and steady. Bonus points if you find one that is machine washable, since it is sure to get soiled while you get it on.

7.Cock Ring

A great toy for the penis is the cock ring. It sits around the base of the penis and vibrates, sending waves all through the shaft. 

The cock ring has padded silicone to prevent any irritations from the vibrations. It is a great teaser during sex, as it allows just part of the penis to do the actual penetration. Both partners are sure to love this toy. Some people enjoy ones that go around the testicles as well.

8.Cuffs and Rope

Restriction of movement is sexy during sex. Having cuffs or rope to tie your partner with as you have your way with them is an incredible feeling. It gives you control, with consent of course.

The key to using cuffs and rope is comfort. Make sure they are not too tight on your partner’s hands and feet. Their being comfortable ensures they give you the time you need to explore their bodies.

There are many options when it comes to bondage play. If your bedroom does not offer places to hook normal handcuffs, you can try door jam cuffs. These can be thrown over the bedroom or bathroom door. Your partner can then strap in and give control.

9.Butt Plugs

Anal play is a sensitive subject. Some are partial to it, while some are all for it. 

Have the conversation with your partner first (as you should before using any toy).

If your partner agrees, the best way to start anal stimulation can be using butt plugs. 

Most come with remote control for your convenience. They have different vibration intensities.

Butt plugs are help to improve penetrative and oral sex. They are also great to be used when your partner is away and you want some sexy time.

10.Sex swing

Putting up a sex swing in your bedroom is a step every couple needs to have gone through. It needs to be attached carefully and according to instructions. Hanging it in safely is the first step to ensuring the best experience.

Create your private Cirque du Soleil by swinging right into penetration. 

You can swing in positions that are limited by your imagination and achieve sexual pleasure beyond anything else.

As a couple, you have no reason to not use sex toys. 

It is a great way to explore your sexuality as well as giving you secrets to share. You will have numerous experiences that will act as extremely pleasurable secrets. Sex toys are perfect for spicing things up and enjoying more of your partner’s company. Pick up any of these and enjoy.

 If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Learn The Buzz about Using a Vibrator

Learn The Buzz about Using a Vibrator 

 

Many people have reported to me that using a vibrator seems too taboo for them. 

They report that they cannot wrap their mind around why you would need one. Or who would have the ovaries to buy one. 

Sometimes though, I think it is important to know what you could be missing out on. 

 

Who is with me that vibrators are a magical invention?

The key to awesome sex, even with yourself, is savoring sensations rather than solely chasing the orgasm. 

Start slow. Set the scene. Make sure you will have privacy. 

Use the vibrator to stimulate various parts of the body and tune into the sensations. We have found it does not matter necessarily on the style, size, or type they all do the same job. 

 

Here are some ways to utilize your vibrator:

Orbiting. – There are many different types of circles around the clit which can cause stimulation in different ways with each woman. What might work for you might not for your partner or best friend.

vibrator

 

  • Direct Hit- For a less sensitive clit, or at stages when the clit likes more direct stimulation, many women say circles right one the exposed clit felt wonderful. To do this, you can get the hood out of the way if the clit is a hider, either by lifting the entire pubic hair area upward with a hand. Or by pushing just the area right above the hood skin upward with the side of your thumb while using your vibrator.
  • On the Hood- Keeping the touch above the line, on the hood skin, without the circle ever touching the exposed clit beneath. The part of the skin that you touch and keep contact with is really important. Holding high on the hood feels less intense than holding lower down, near the bottom edge of the hood. This is similar to layering. Adding more layers between the vibrator, and the clit itself can help lessen the intensity of your vibrator.
  • Off and On (the hood)- Many women prefer circles that mostly stay on the hood and then occasionally swipe and glide below it, to include part of the clitoral gland that may be peaking out as exposed. The upper clit gets soft pressure through the hood, giving the exposed clit a small break between each time it is touched. This method seems to be a favorite with a vibrator, as you can use the vibrations to expand the pleasure and add shallowing techniques in as well.
  • Staying away- the least intense way to orbit the clit is to stay far away from it. Gliding in gentle circles that stay above, below, and to the sides of the hood and clit and never touch the exposed clit directly. Some women feel the vibration itself is satisfying without being overwhelming and this is a great way to ease into your first vibrator. 

Easing into your first experience can be overwhelming. Start out slow, and layering is one way we recommend breaking the ice.

Layering is where you put “layers” between your touch with the vibrator. And the clit or area you want to stimulate.

Laying it on thick – Through fabric this is the least direct way to touch the clit. Women prefer pressure and massage up on the triangle where the pubic hair is (or was— you are allowed to do with your hair what you please). Stroke all around this area called the mons pubic region

This area is on top of a nerve network that’s connected to the clit. Remember the exposed part of the clit is simply the tip of an iceberg. And there is a lot more going on below the surface all around it.

 

The Clit Sandwich- Yes this is a real thing!

1 in 5 women prefer squeezing the outer lips together around the clit like a sandwich. People also report liking this sensation in partnered sex with same sex or other sex partners! 

Why? The clit gets more subtle, indirect pressure. Because it goes through the thin hood skin and the thick skin of the lips. Some move the sandwich up and down or pull it out and push it in, so the skin inside slides back and forth around the slit. vibrator

Adding your vibrator to this technique, even on the outer lips, can create a unique stimulation.

Layering with a vibrator can help you achieve multiple orgasms. And even lessen the touch/sensation for the rebuild for the second orgasm.

So, adding a vibrator into your relationship can become a rewarding experience for you and others. Knowing your body will help give you a more satisfying experience.

I believe a vibrator can change around a sex life. Only if you are open to experiments with time and techniques as you learn. 

No matter the vibrator location on your body, the satisfaction you achieve while using it is all that matters. 

By starting out curious, you will be able to learn your body and what you like. And dislike the more you explore with your vibrator.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Are You Using Vibrators Safely?

Are You Using Vibrators Safely?

 

Vibrators are in some ways the ideal sex toy. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. They come at different speeds, different intensities and are available for any budget.

However, like any toy, vibrators must be used safely and smartly to ensure a pleasurable experience and health.

Whether you are dealing with a penis, vagina or anus, vibrators can enhance your sexual pleasure. Solo or as a part of sex with others. There are some things to consider to ensure you are not hurting yourself or exposing yourself to harmful chemicals.

 

Materials

vibrators

The materials used for vibrators can vary from cheap plastics to silky silicones to even glass, metal or crystal. Most toys are constructed with pleasure and sensation in mind and sometimes neglect legitimate safety concerns in order to create something that feels good- or can be made cheaply.

Some of the softeners that make plastic vibrators smooth and flexible are actually harmful chemicals that may harm your body. BPA, phthalates, PVC, and Bisphenol A are just a few of the materials used. These are recognized both internationally and in the USA as having harmful effects on hormone production. 

This has been known to lead to myriad issues, so knowing what your vibrators are made of is no small matter. 

The porosity of the vibrators (if it has pores like a sponge, that is not a good material for a sex toy) is a crucial factor in determining if this toy is made of safe materials. 

When playing with vibrators, it is important to keep them clean. And a high porosity material is more likely to absorb and transmit infections, viruses, bacteria and yeasts that are stuck in the material despite cleaning. 

Porous materials to avoid include PVC, rubber, jelly and any rigid, cheap plastics. 

Medical grade silicone, glass, and surgical steel are options that are less porous and less likely to absorb bacteria that you don’t want to expose to your mucous membranes.

If you use vibrators made from those more porous materials, consider adding a condom to your vibrator to prevent potential exposure to chemicals and bacteria.

 

Shapes

vibrators

There are vibrators like the magic wand that do not go into the body. They are used for external touching. 

We have an entire blog coming out about learning the buzz on how to use that type of vibrator so stay tuned. 

If you are using insertion vibrators to pleasure yourself – be sure to get the right type for the right oraffice. 

For those who want insertion anally, you must use vibrators with a flared base.

You would be surprised how much suction there is when you penetrate the anus, and non-flared toys can easily get sucked up before you notice.

Prevent a trip to the ER and use vibrators with either two prongs or a flared base to avoid “losing” the toy inside yourself. 

That said, if you have used a toy and it is stuck, do not try to remove it yourself. Go to the ER to avoid fissures and internal damage, and don’t worry, those nurses have truly seen everything before.

If you are using vibrators anally or vaginally, I advise training yourself to the size you ultimately desire. 

Aim a little smaller than you think you can handle, and use lots and lots of lube. 

Eventually you can work your way up to more girthy toys, just know your limits so you can stretch safely instead of tearing or ripping!

As with any sex toy, make sure that you have vibrators with smooth sides. No sharp or pointy edges and that all the parts are secure and won’t fall off in an unfortunate location.

 

Hygiene & Cleaning

The most important safety tip of all is to keep your vibrators clean! Ideally clean them before and after use, though you should definitely clean them every time before use.

It also helps if you are clean too! While you don’t need to be fresh from the shower, using a wet wipe can clear away any debris that may get into the wrong places when things get heated. This is a personal call, if you feel clean enough for your own comfort that is all that matters. Just ensure you never use your vibrators on your anus and genitals during the same session without cleaning in between.

Just a reminder that porous materials (jelly, PVC, cyberskin) will not ever be totally clean. However if you insist on using them try to clean them thoroughly with mild fragrance-free soap and hot water. You can also use an antibacterial spray made especially for sex toys as an added precaution.

vibrators

 

Here is how to properly wash your vibrators:

  1. Remove any batteries.
  2. If your vibrator is rechargeable, has batteries or isn’t marked as “waterproof,” do not submerge your toy into the water completely. Trust me – they are not all waterproof and will break.
  3. Wash the vibrators gently with hot water and a mild, fragrance free soap. Dish soap is a suitable alternative if you avoid brands that contain perfumes. Really try to get into every curve, nook and cranny to remove any potential bacteria.
  4. Rinse off the soap with hot water and dry off your toy with a clean towel or put it out on a windowsill in the sun to dry.
  5. Put the batteries back in, and store your vibrators in a cool, dry place.

Please do not let your vibrators touch one another, as some toys will eat away at one another. 

Another hygiene tip: don’t share sex toys with new partners without using condoms on them. And clean before sharing even with usual partners. 

STI’s and other infections can be passed along with toys the same as they are passed along with skin to skin contact.

 

Safety Reminders for Fun, Pleasurable Vibrator Use

Here is a roundup of advice for using your vibrators in a way that is fun, pleasurable and safe!

  •   Purchase vibrators made from body safe, non porous materials such as silicone to ensure that your toys can be cleaned properly
  •   Avoid cheap plastics, rubber and jelly vibrators to ensure you’re not being exposed to harmful chemicals
  •   Use vibrators with flared bases if you plan on using them for anal insertion
  •   Don’t use a vibrator that is too big without working up to the size with time, stretching and lots of lube.
  •   Make sure your vibrator is free of sharp edges, pointy ends and cracks to avoid injuries and infections.
  •   Clean your vibrators before and after use with hot, soapy water.

If you follow these tips, you’ll ensure your vibrators are always ready for fun when you are!

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

 

How long do sexless marriages last is a question that many couples that are in sexless marriages ask. Even though it isn’t very obvious, more marriages suffer sex-related issues than is envisaged.

To ascertain what happens in a sexless marriage, let’s start with a clear description of what a sexless marriage entails.

A sexless marriage is one in which sex is not exactly frequent between the couple involved. Most experts categorize this frequency as anything less than ten times within a year. For some marriages, being sexless can mean the lack of sexual intimacy for even as few as a few weeks.

How long a sexless marriage will last depends largely on the couple and the conditions surrounding their relationship. Since people are different, there can be no general predictions for how long marriages will stay without sex.

Outcomes should be based on the people involved, their dispositions, natural makeup, and the mutual agreement between them.

For marriages that do not hinge their intimacy and bonding on sexual activities. Staying sexless may not make lots of difference.

On the other hand, couples whose closeness is mostly dependent on sex may find it difficult to cope in a sexless marriage.

There are different reasons why a marriage bed can become void of sexual activities. And these reasons determine, to a large extent, how long the marriage can thrive without sex.

 

Low Sex Drive Due to Health Issues on One Partner

Sometimes, health problems can affect the sexual orientation of a marriage. One partner may have physical or mental health problems that take a toll on their sex drive. In this case, the other partner may understand the situation and make efforts to keep the marriage going.

If both partners understand each other and are willing to make efforts towards other home-building activities in the marriage. It will only be a matter of time for the condition to improve.

How Long Do Sexless Marriages Last?

 

When Other Things Are More Important Than Sex to the Couple

While most couples view sex as an activity crucial for their relationship’s survival, others do not hold the same view. Some married folks are very comfortable running their day-to-day activities from the same house, without paying attention to lovemaking.

Some regard sex as a fun act to indulge in once in a while, as they go about other activities together. These activities could be child upbringing, work, business, or even studies. For a good number of others, sex may not be among the vital reasons they came together in the first place.

Most contract marriages and people who married for financial or social status purposes may also not view sex as something necessary to keep the marriage going. Provided the initial conditions of interest are still present.

So, for couples who mutually agree to focus on bonding through means other than sex. Their marriage will undoubtedly last for as long as the agreement remains.

If, however, one partner decides otherwise, a compromise has to be made for divorce not to become the imminent outcome of such marriage.

 

Low Sex Drive From Both Ends

Generally, when one partner has a greater sex drive than the other, the union may end up suffering. However, when the two people involved desire sex less often,  their marriage can be as normal as one in which both partners experience greater urges for sex.

In fact, for partners who both have very little desire to get sexually engaged. Having sex less than ten times every year may not constitute much of a big deal for them. And since no partner ever gets to feel neglected or unsatisfied, there would be no need to go over-the-top to impress anyone.

 

 Underlying Problems

When a marriage relationship becomes sexless due to emotional or communication problems between the couple. Then there is a slimmer chance of survival for such marriage.

Problems that could cause partners to want less of each other physically include infidelity, lack of communication, unsettled arguments. And abrupt changes in one spouse’s behavior.

Trying to get intimate without solving the problems causing the divide may make no difference to the marriage’s life span. Hence, how long a sexless marriage lasts, in this case, will depend on how soon the couple can settle their differences and ignite the flames in their sex lives.

 

Neglect from One Partner

Life can also take its toll on a marriage and turn it sexless overtime. Sometimes, married folks can get too busy with work, school, or child care to pay attention to each other. And if leaving out sex is not mutually agreed upon by both partners, the less active partner may begin to feel neglected and sexually starved.

In most divorce cases, due to sexual dissatisfaction, it is usually found that one partner is usually at the receiving end of the dissatisfaction. The marriage unavoidably comes to an end when the affected partner can no longer keep up with the neglect.

Hence, a marriage that gets stripped of intimacy due to neglect from one partner may never recover if the defaulter does not realize and make an effort to revive sex in their relationship. However, there could still be hope for such a marriage if the problem could be communicated and resolved.

In a Nutshell, the question: ‘how long do sexless marriages last?’ should be rightly answered in the light of the circumstances surrounding the marriage. And the obvious answer should be however long you are willing to be within it.

If you both are sexless and enjoy that, you can last until death do you part. But If one of you wants sex, it probably has about a 2-5 year breaking point from the time someone brings up sex as a problem.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

A Pro Guide on How To Make A Woman Orgasm

Probably since the dawn of time, individuals have wanted to know how to make a woman orgasm.

You could ask many people about sensual pleasuring and you will hear a variety of responses from “well foreplay and bang the hell out of her” to a detailed encounter (examples: some get as detailed as rubbing the external clit glans counterclockwise for three minutes, then stroke between the labia lips and, tug on her nipples before thrusting anything in her can get her intensely close to orgasm).

Each person has a different goal and each woman orgasm is best discovered by knowing the body of that person.

These techniques on how to make a woman orgasm though are better than what you will find in most mainstream porn though. Not to shame porn, as I write for Pornhub, I think this is a more in depth look at pleasure.

Here are some of the techniques we have found which commonly get missed:

“Rimming” or shallowing of the introitus (a fancy word meaning the opening of the vagina).

Think of the rimming or shallowing effect as the champagne in the lobby phase of the evening.

Rimming… or shallowing is where the penis, dildo, or finger hangs out near the opening of the vagina for an amount of time.

When the tip is just barely in the vagina, there is an intense amount of pleasure and building which can come from this.

While on top if you rock your hips and gently massage the tip and prevent the whole penis from entering you are not only gaining more pleasure, you are also slowly making your partner build as well.

Shallowing has also been known to enhance the orgasm once full penetration has been achieved.

  • The Curl – Start above the opening and curl the toy, penis, or fingers downward so the tip drags against the bottom wall of the vagina on its way in and lightly curls up to touch the top wall of the introitus.
  • Repeat over and over – no more than 5 times.
  • The Slight Catch – Put the tip of the toy, penis, or finger against the opening and move up and down so that it “catches” the entrance (the introitus) and goes into the hole of the vagina a tiny bit each time as you pass by. There can be a lovely little thrust from your partner each time as the tip goes in and rubs against the walls on its way up and down.
  • Butterfly Flutter – The head of the penis or the toy may be thicker than the base of the shaft.
  • Not always true of penises and toys, yet sometimes true. This can create a fun pressure just as it begins to penetrate. Fluttering is a way to get that feeling over and over again with quick repeated presses. Similar to knocking on a front door. The object will move in and out without depth of penetration.
  • Tipping- Not like what you do at a restaurant to the waitstaff, this is where you put a finger/toy/penis at the opening of the vagina and press it so only the tip goes inside.

While it may seem like this is all about teasing and anticipation of more penetration, it’s not! The research shows that just stating with gentle thrusts feels amazing for those receiving. It begins to create a sensation and a story in the mind that the body immediately begins to respond to.

When practicing these tips to build up to orgasm:

Remember Warm and Wet first – Like other kinds of penetration, rimming or shallowing often feels better after foreplay. Even a gentle or rough touch around the thighs, breasts, and butt can feel amazing as a woman is beginning to get wet. Shallowing is a lot less pleasurable if there isn’t lube… so keep some handy by the side of your bed.

Slow and gentle – unlike Clitoral stimulation and deeper penetration, where speed is sometimes appreciated, some women prefer slower and gentler motions when just inside the vaginal opening.

Deliciously Subtle – The sensations from rimming or shallowing can be far more subtler than touching the external clit or labia or even deeper penetration. Give it time and try really focusing on the feeling.

Slippery Slope – It is tempting to quickly move past shallowing to deeper penetration, especially for couples when the penis head is just inside.

Learning to savor the feeling just inside the opening can heighten the entire experience. It will make you appear like a sexpert, and it gives more time for better results.

It’s not just a warm-up – Many love this rimming and shallowing effect as a main course activity.

Yes – women can orgasm from it!

Others love going back to a shallow touch after deep penetration. It can refresh the sensation for deeper penetration. Some women find this is a nice building technique to gain a more fulfilling orgasm.

If this doesn’t feel amazing on its own, know that Shallowing goes great with other activities. A fingertip inside can be added during other forms of sex, like oral, clitoral stimulation, and even anal play.

Don’t use the same fingers near the anus and the vagina.

Staying in the vagina is another great method to enhance an orgasm. This method seems simple enough, don’t break contact and keep it in, yet it goes deeper than that. No pun intended.

Staying in is more than not breaking contact, yet changing the experience in itself.

Keeping the toy or penis in which changing positions is hard enough as it is, yet this is all about how you move while inside the vagina.

Rocking is where the area just above the penis stays in contact with the clit and the top of the shaft, toy, and finger stays in contact with the upper ridge of the vagina.

The part that serves as a pivot point and instead of the focus being on moving in and out, it’s on rocking the area above the shaft, toy, or finger across the clit. Rolling is similar to Rocking, except the hips roll in a circular motion or left and right.

Take a tip from lesbian orgasm techniques because this is a great way to change things up from the old in and out motion and thus learn how to make a woman orgasm.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Real Female Orgasm

For many women, a real female orgasm is a challenge to achieve depending on their partners likes and dislikes.

Some who experience a real female orgasm can only achieve it once, and then they think there is no possible way to have multiple orgasms.

Over-sensitivity is the main reason women feel they cannot orgasm again because what felt good before starts to not feel the same after.

We have found these techniques help during the recovery period to achieve multiple real female orgasms:

  • Doing a REWIND!
    • we find when you go back to the initial touch during the warm up stage usually away from the clit.
    • Rubbing between the lips, bringing wetness up and around the external clitorical glands helps.
  • Focus away from the external clit when there is too much stimulation.
  • The Palm Hug or Cup – many women prefer the pressure on the whole mons pubis area after orgasm.

Partnered Female Orgasm

Most women have admitted they just cannot reach multiple orgasms, and while their partners might pressure them into trying it might lead to more disappointment and hurt feelings.

We have found by keeping an open form of communication with your partner and sharing your discoveries can help in the bedroom. Having fun conversations with your friends about what positions or new discoveries is a great way to expand your horizon. Although it might work for your best friend, it might not be what makes you tick. There will be techniques and combinations that wont work but by having lots of patience and enjoy the discovery period with your partner.

Edging is another great way to increase the real female orgasm!

Here are a couple variations of edging to try out for those who are curious:

  • Pausing, going to zero, and rebuilding. With the pause method, you stop all touch before the orgasm, and when the impending orgasm is completely gone, start over from the beginning.
  • Distracting the Orgasm – sudden or intense sensations away from the clit before climax. By shifting your focus away from the clit, it prevents the orgasm from happening. Yet you get to rebuild again and come back to it.
  • Continuous pleasure – with continuous pleasure edging, you get as close to the orgasm as you can before you shift away from the clit.

Bringing it to the bedroom:

  • If you come easily/quickly the pausing or distraction would be best for you to try.
  • If you tend to lose orgasms completely, give continuous edging variation a try.
  • Edging can be difficult because it is so tempting to give in and let the orgasm come crashing over you. Patience is not easy, and just know you are not alone.
  • The point of no return – if you get too close, there is no stopping.
  • Try edging as soon as you get to the climaxing point and notice what happens in your body before the genitals follow, passing the point of no return.

We have also discovered clitoral stimulation or arousal is different from person to person, and even one week to another.

When talking about pleasure, intensity is a word that is definitely correlated with the clitoris.

One woman might compare the intense pressure to jamming something into your body, whereas the next woman compares that same sensation to being tickled.

Building Up Female Orgasm

Layering is a technique which lessens the intensity of connection between partners, yet helps grow multiple real female orgasms slowly.

If you are patient, this technique is for you.

Some techniques of layer are:

  • Wearing layers

    • Leggings over panties
    • Underwear from cotton to silk
    • Being under a sheet
  • Vulva Layers

    • Focusing on the clitoral hood or lips to delay gratification..
    • Stroke around and then, about every third or fourth time, switch from the hood and swipe a lubed finger over the clitoral glans.

Layering is preferred by many as it gets them a build up to help achieve multiple orgasms.

Some women have felt challenged when it comes to layering, so keep in mind the following tips:

  • Don’t get discouraged. Sometimes the mind gets in the way.
  • Pain – a slight shift in one direction could change the sensation from “AMAZING” to “OUCH!” In this case, add more lubricant, check in quickly, and try again.

Experts

Accenting or targeting is another approach to achieve a better orgasm. It’s like a torturous massage, especially if you have a kinky fantasy directed at a certain spot on your body.

Accenting is best after the warmed up stage, when your body is already in a state of arousal or release.

Here are some tip we have found helpful when targeting:

  • It hurts many women after a certain amount of time. Especially if it’s an upward movement on the clit, where there is no hood to protect from below, alter for gentle strokes and minimal pressure.
  • Don’t get frustrated if it feels great one time and does not the next. Think of the spot like a magician, it can appear and disappear or even move around depending on what is happening inside the receiver’s body.
  • The clit is full of nerves that spread far out under the skin. Feel free to treat it like a scavenger hunt and explore what areas feel the best and worst for you or your partner.

If you need specific techniques for you and your partner(s), we are here to help via text therapy sessions. Discreet and personalized for your needs to achieve pleasure.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Cervical Orgasm

How to Get a Cervical Orgasm

How to Get a Cervical Orgasm

 

If there is one way that you can get the best out of your sexual experience, it has to be by exploring new pleasurable zones such as a cervical orgasm. 

This is particularly great for those with vaginas that have sex with all genders. 

Achieving climax for some can be difficult, and some women have gone well into their thirties without “finishing” during sex. 

If this is you, we recommend that you try some of our other guides, including the pleasure practice as a warm up. 

This guide will teach you about getting different sensations, If you have achieved many orgasm types, and now want to know how to get a cervical orgasm.

If you are one such woman, you may want to try seeking a cervical orgasm in addition to the common clitoral pleasure.

 

Discovering the Location for Cervical Orgasm

The cervix is the deep center of the vagina, and it is the connecting point between the uterus and vagina. It can be reached only by penetration. It is the part that dilates when you are in labor to have a child. 

For those of you with IUDS, the string will be coming out of the cervix.

Cervical Orgasm

Cervical Orgasm and Cervix Drawing Copyright © Nucleus Medical Media, Inc.

Some women have called a cervical orgasm a “deep” or “full-body orgasm.” Those who have experienced it report an increase in sensation on the “inside” compared to the jittering sensations of a clitoral orgasm. 

This type of orgasm brings a pleasurable (and sometimes reported as “intense”) vibration throughout the whole body. 

Unlike the clitoral orgasm that lasts for waves of seconds, the sensation of the cervical orgasm sometimes is reported to last for hours (meaning you will feel different sensations in your body even after the orgasm is over). 

Are you tempted to try this type of pleasure? 

Here are suggestions to help you achieve a cervical orgasm either with your partner or on a solo mission.

 

Is Penetration Involved in a Cervical Orgasm?

Ensure that the receiver of this orgasm is relaxed, aroused, and already in a state of receiving bliss. If not, cervical pleasure may feel more painful than anything else. 

  • The cervix itself is not going to be penetrated. 
  • See the drawing above. The opening of the cervix is no wider than a finger width. 
  • It is too narrow for a dildo, dilator, or penis to go into. 

However, the penetrating object that you are choosing for a cervical orgasm does need to have contact with the cervix for this type of orgasm to occur.

Penetration involves the dildo or penis entering the vagina and applying pressure on the cervix. It pushes and rubs against the cervix to create a pleasurable sensation.

It is important to note that initial contact with the cervix can be painful. 

The receiver may feel some pain when something first touches her cervix. 

It would be better if you first warmed up with easier sexual pleasure like external clitoral glans stimulation, and then ease into it when she is relaxed. 

You can try going slow to allow the cervix time to relax.

 

Positions

One of the best positions to achieve a cervical orgasm is doggy style. When anatomy fits together, the phallus has almost a straight gateway to the cervix. 

Doggy style allows for deeper penetration, as the whole shaft is able to go inside you, thus allowing as much room to access the cervical orgasm as possible.

Secondly, you can try the receiver on top of a dildo while she or a partner stimulates the external clitoris. 

Cowgirl style allows control of a number of factors. The person with the cervix gets to control:

  • The angle of the insertion object
  • How fast to move 
  • The rhythm of which way to move (bounce up and down, wiggle side to side, or move their vagina clockwise or counterclockwise).
  • The depth at which the insertion object touches the cervix. 

The one trying to get a cervical orgasm may like this, as then they are able to achieve orgasm on their own terms. 

Finally, another alternative is to use a deep missionary position, possibly on a sex pillow. This will help you in increasing how deep penetration can reach.

The psychological It is also a great way to give her power over her body, which lets the psychological factor come into play.

 

Psychological readiness

Cervical Orgasm

A cervical orgasm is not something you can achieve during casual sex. If you are not comfortable with a partner, you can explore this using a long girth-y dildo.

You need to have your mind focused on getting there, and allow your body to relax. The mind is a powerful tool and after a few successful cervical orgasms, you may be able to feel the ring and deep sensation of pleasure in the cervix just having your ear touched or by fantasizing. 

 

Psychological Mindset To Receive

Mental readiness is important in all sexual encounters, even more in getting a full body orgasm.

You need to be able to let go – a concept is intangible and cannot really be quantified. 

However, letting go simply means:

  • you should not have any inhibitions, be it physical or psychological.
  • Free from any tension. Take a shower or ask for touch first. 
  • Allow yourself to relax from the stress of the day and compartmentalize them in a way that is healthy. 

If you are wanting to try to obtain cervical orgasm with a partner, ensure unresolved arguments are put to rest until another time (you can even schedule that conversation for a later time).. Any tension will make you not open up fully, which means penetration may be painful and the goal will not be achieved.

Go in knowing what you want to do, and be willing to let your partner help you get there. If you are using a dilator on yourself, relax your body and muscles. 

Breathe out and exhale. 

Try to achieve a mental thought of “receiving,” from a part of your mind and body that enjoys the exploration of pleasure and curiosity of playfulness. 

By doing this, your inner muscles will in turn relax to allow the object of penetration easier access.

 

Physical readiness

You need to make sure that you are completely aroused before trying to get this kind of orgasm. 

If you need to, you can use water-based lubrication to help ease the process. Using lube in all types of penetration for sexual pleasure is NOT uncommon. 

Some vaginas are not trained enough to withstand a cervical orgasm. The positive news is that a vagina without pelvic floor muscle tone can be improved. 

There are helpful vaginal weight lifting practices that help women restore strength. 

These practices can even increase sensation.

 

Menstrual cycle

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

You can try having a cervical orgasm at different points in your menstrual cycle. As your hormones change during the month, so does the cervix. It is softer, higher and wetter during ovulation as compared to other days in your cycle.

Looking for the elusive orgasm at different points in your cycle increases your chances of finding it. Since the position of the cervix changes, you have a better chance of getting it at one specific position and condition.

 

Is it possible to have a cervical orgasm without penetration?

Yes.

However, this cannot happen to you when you are just beginning, because your body will not know what to do, thus not allowing a cervical orgasm. 

You will need to have had several penetrative orgasms to stimulate the area. Opening up your cervix is one of the most coveted sexual awakening experiences. 

In the end, you may discover that you are more comfortable with clitoral orgasms as compared to cervical ones. Luckily, as humans, we have the advantage of having multiple pleasure zones – the most important of which is the mind. 

Finding the pleasurable menu that works for you is what matters.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

anal orgasm

How To Have An Anal Orgasm

How To Have An Anal Orgasm

 

If you’ve only ever seen an anal orgasm in a movie or in porn, you may think that the only way to have one is penetrative anal sex.

If anal sex is intimidating to you or you just don’t like it, you’ll be happy to know that there are many ways to have an anal orgasm!

 

First Thing’s First: Keep It Clean!

Personal hygiene is always important, and feeling clean before getting dirty can help you focus on your anal orgasm. You don’t want to be distracted because you’re worrying about cleanliness!

It may surprise you, however your butt is likely as clean as the rest of your body, so be as clean as is comfortable for you and your partner.

A baby wipe is a fast way to refresh your anal area quickly, and you can keep an individually wrapped one in your pocket or purse.

Hair is a reality of being a mammal, and we all have different amounts of hair on our buttocks, cracks and around the anus. Unwanted hair can be (carefully) shaved, waxed or plucked, though it can take some manoeuvring  if you’re taking the DIY route.

There’s also a common misconception that if you are wanting to engage in anal play of any kind you need to avoid eating certain foods or use an enema. There is usually very little fecal matter in the rectum as it is usually stored in the colon. If you’ve have a bowel movement the day of sex, you’re probably just fine. If you’d like, you can irrigate the rectum with a home enema kit. Again, it is up to you and your partner to decide what level of cleanliness you’re both comfortable with.

If certain foods upset your stomach, simply try to avoid them if you anticipate any anal action.

 

Get Comfortable

Having any kind of orgasm, including an anal orgasm, requires a level of comfort and arousal. As you know, that can be easier said than done, especially if you’re going into new territory!

Despite what porn might make you believe, anal orgasms can happen through gentle, sensual stimulation as well as from more aggressive penetration- it is all about personal preference and learning what you like. This means communication before the fact about no-go zones, and continuous

 

So…How Do I Have An Anal Orgasm?!

Half the battle of achieving an anal orgasm is the willingness to experiment and find out what you like! There are so many different ways to play with the anal area, so read ahead and see what might be appealing to you and your sexual partner or partners.

 

External vs Internal Stimulation…or Both!

People achieve any kind of orgasm differently, and having an anal orgasm is no exception. There are so many options available for your level of comfort and what you find pleasurable. You may find that you have an anal orgasm through penetration, or maybe you require purely external stimulation. Maybe you need both. Try some things out and have some fun!

 

Non-Penetrative Options

You don’t have to have any penetration at all to potentially enjoy an anal orgasm. You can achieve orgasm with these activities:

  •   Rimming: Basically, oral sex for your ass. Your partner can lick you as gently or firmly as you desire, or even stick their tongue into your anus to stimulate those sensitive nerve endings. Just make sure the area is clean to their level of comfort, and that they do not perform oral on your genitals or kiss afterwards without using antibacterial mouthwash first.

  •   Toys: vibrating toys are a LOT of fun and a great way to ease into anal stimulation if both parties are feeling uncertain. A simple bullet vibe will work ONLY if you don’t use it for penetration. If you think you might be open to having the toy go in, even a little bit, find a toy with a flared base. Riding crops and feathers can be used to tease the area or for spankings without venturing directly to the anus, rather focusing on the buttocks.

 

Penetrative Options

Did you know people with vaginas have A-spots? And you can stimulate the G-spot anally? It’s true! Ever heard of the P-spot? That P stands for prostate, and people assigned male at birth have them. All of these specific spots can be stimulated through penetration with toys, fingers, or anything you want to put in there.

Remember, if you are engaging in penetrative anal play, you need to try and relax the sphincter of your anus, so the experience is more enjoyable. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and lots of communication!

 

P-spot

  •   Known medically as the prostate
  •   People assigned male at birth have a prostate
  •   Located 2 inches into the rectum, on the front wall
  •   The prostate will feel like a small, firm bulb. It will feel distinctly different than the rest of the area.
  •   BONUS: you can actually stimulate the prostate indirectly by stimulating the perineum, or the taint.
  •   Make sure you use toys with a flared base to avoid losing them inside the rectum.
  •   Always wash your hands after anal play before touching other genitals or your face/eyes/mouth.

 

A-spot

  •   The anterior fornix or a-spot is 5-6 inches deep into the vagina.
  •   Feels similar to the G-spot to the touch but deeper
  •   People assigned female at birth have an anterior fornix
  •   The A-spot can be stimulated from penetrating the rectum
  •   BONUS: The g-spot can be stimulated from the rectum, too! Think of it like finding the “back” side of the g-spot; similar location an inch or so inside, just stimulating it from the other side.

 

Toys

  •   Butt plugs: You can purchase these in varying gauges so you can “train” yourself to accommodate larger penetrating objects. Use some lube designed for anal play, and enjoy the feeling of just having something in there. It can be a way to feel out the sensation of something in the area without any bells and whistles or movement. Though a vibrating plug can be a real treat for all parties involved!
  •   Double pronged dildos: For folks with vaginas, a double pronged dildo or vibrator can be a fun way to explore double penetration, stimulating your vagina and rectum simultaneously. Many people find this incredibly pleasurable, and it is likely because of stimulating the A-spot and G-spot from both sides. As always, use lots of lube!

 

If Its Not Happening…

Not everyone can enjoy an anal orgasm, no matter how comfortable they are. Remember, we are not robots: it isn’t as simple as pressing the right button to get an anal orgasm, or any orgasm! Even if you don’t achieve a full anal orgasm, anal play can be a fun and pleasurable activity to throw into your sex life for some variety and adventure.

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call us at 203-733-9600 and press 0 to leave a message, or make an appointment.