best sex positions for female orgasm

Best Sex Positions for Female Orgasm

Best Sex Positions for Female Orgasm


Have you ever thought about the best sex positions for female orgasm? If you struggle to climax in general, the best thing you can do is learn how to orgasm on your own. You’ll find it a lot more straightforward to have genuinely wonderful moments with a partner once you can orgasm on your own without any difficulty. 

For those who want pleasure during partnered sex, the best sex positions for female orgasm are found below! 


  • The Pindown 

You lie flat face down, and he’s on top of you, face down. After that, he/they enter you from behind. The feelings you experience are incredibly different from any rear-entry position when your bottom is up in the air or your legs are spread. 

Also, if you put your hand between the bed and your body, you can stimulate your own clitoris. Many women find it easy to orgasm in this position, even if they’ve never “come” in any other position. With legs closed together, this gives a sensation of ultimate arousal. 


  • Free Ride

The guy rests on their back. You sit on their penis, facing away, with your back to him. Next, in your own time, gently lower yourself until your back is completely extended on the front of your body and his penis is inside of you.

This is a truly new sense of feeling pleasure. Meaning, the fact that any partner can readily touch the clitoris is an added benefit. This position is unique and enjoyable, and everyone typically has a fantastic time.


  • Cuddly Cat

Even though this is a couch position, it is fun! While you both sit facing the same direction, you slide your vagina onto his penis. At this time, the clitoris may feel intense pulsing feelings.

The other distinction is allowing you to use your upper body strength to rock up and down. 


  • Spoon

In this position, you lie on one side, as your spouse lies facing the same way, penetrating you from behind. 

Although not all women find it simple to orgasm on their sides, some do. The fact that you or your partner can reach down and stimulate your clitoris is a huge advantage. 


The Female Anatomy

While stunning, the female anatomy is also intricate. The key to getting the right pleasure response is to understand how everything on the outside and inside of this body area works.

You must be well aware of what each component of the female anatomy is made of. Don’t be embarrassed if you need to figure out where anything is. Even though most people refer to the female genitalia as the “vagina,” this is only ONE aspect of the female sexual anatomy. The female inner lips are called the vulva. It is made up of the clitoris, the labia majora (outer lips), and the labia minora (inner lips).

Moreover, there is the vagina, which connects to the vaginal canal. During sexual activity, all of these components are active and functioning simultaneously. If she likes having other regions of her body handled, other hotspots are the anus and the perineum.

Many women feel more pleasure when they are stroked in any of these locations. Of course, it is a good idea to talk to your partner about your tastes, what you both love, and what you wish to avoid. 


Consider Sex Toys

Sex gadgets can give you the extra element you need to reach your climax. Men might use a toy on you or themselves, and you can wear a toy to stimulate your clitoral area more. Meaning, you could love trying out vibrators, dildos, and vibrating cockrings as sex toys with your partner. 

For men, also try out a ring that surrounds the penis and has a vibrating device on top. The benefit of this is that it brushes against your clitoris during sexual activity! 


The Bottom Line

While toys are great for helping you reach orgasm more often, most vagina owners want clitoral stimulation to have orgasms. Meaning, there are techniques to encourage your partner to stimulate your clitoris with their body.


Talk to your partner about the positions you are both excited to try out and set aside enough time to explore it properly.  With a partner who cares, you can make it easier for you to have an exciting and orgasmic experience.


Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do


doggy style

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 

Maximizing The Pleasure Of The Doggy Style Sex 


There’s no surprise if we say that doggy style sex is one of the most popular sex positions, right? To avoid being stuck in the missionary position or any of those you and your sex partner like to practice frequently, switching to doggy sex will provide you with so much more than just dynamics in sex, it will also provide you with incredible pleasure, regardless of whether you’re a receiver or a giver in the doggy style sex.

So, to ensure you continue enjoying your favorite position and never get tired of it, we’ve decided to gather the most useful tips for all the fans of doggy sex to help them explore their sexual pleasures even more and maybe discover something new about it.

Don’t Skip Foreplay

Sometimes, people will stop having doggy style sex because they have experienced it being uncomfortable or painful. This position is a bit more tricky than the conventional ones and sometimes it does include pain, however, preparing the body for the doggy sex will make it all go away. 

That’s why this deep and often intense position might require a bit more foreplay. If you and your partner are not that into foreplay, try to massage, lubricate or kiss the penetration point so that it’s less uncomfortable when the sex starts. Ideally, you would spend 10 to 20 minutes getting it on with your partner, from dirty talk to touching and kissing various erogenous zones.

Vertical Alternative

If you’re enjoying the doggy sex, yet your knees feel uncomfortable or you experience pain in your back, a great alternative solution would be to do it vertically. So, dust your knees and stretch your body before going into a less challenging position – vertical doggy. If this is how you feel each time when you’re kneeling on all fours, suggest your partner this position where you’ll stand up and lean forward against a wall or simply bend over a kitchen table or office desk. 

Of course, if you like both of these options, you can combine them during sex as the sensation will be completely different. You can even lean forward against a mirror in the room so you can enjoy the view of each other’s bodies. 

Forget About the Bedroom 

You already know there are variations to a doggy style sex, however, that’s not where the options stop. You can have sex in this position outside your bed and in any place of the house or even outdoors. Try it under the shower while you support your hands with the wall and lean forward and your partner penetrates easily because of the water. 

You can also try it on your couch in the living room, in the garage against the car, or on your balcony. It all depends on what your preferences are, yet one thing is for sure – the options are limitless when it comes to choosing a spot. For those who love adventure, why not park the car in the middle of the night somewhere where it’s quiet, and put down the seats so you can enjoy the good-old doggy sex?

Use a Pillow

You don’t have to reach out for a pillow only when you’re afraid you’ll wake up your neighbors with your screaming. As you probably already know, not every doggy ends in orgasm, so it’s good to look for handy tools that might help you climax better and quicker. What you will need to do is to get into the classic doggy position on all fours, and put a wedge pillow under the belly. This will enhance the external pressure of your abdomen and pelvis, providing you with incredible sensations during sex. 

Also, try to keep your hips as high in the air as possible, while also resting your head and arms on the bed. This will help your partner penetrate more easily and allow you to experience doggy style sex like never before. 

Don’t Ignore the Nipples

For women who love breast stimulation, doggy is the perfect option as it allows your partner to touch them while having sex with you. If you want to surprise your partner with this idea, just grab his hands and place them directly on your breasts. Put your hands over their hands to increase the pressure and you can even show them how you want to be touched. 

Use Your Fingers

Women will usually feel most excited when touching, rubbing, and kissing their clitoris, so why not do exactly that while your partner is behind you in a doggy style position? Just use your fingers and start touching yourself. If you need a bit of help, wet your fingers before touching your clitoris for an improved sensation. 

For those who enjoy using their fingers and sharing that game with their partner, you can also put your fingers into your partner’s mouth and tease them while having sex. Or, simply wait until you orgasm, and reward them with putting your fingers into their mouth when they pull out their penis. 

Use a Vibrator

When doing doggy sex, you can use as many sex props as you need, however, you will probably already have a vibrator at home, so why not use it? You can switch from vibrator to penis and have two different sets of sensations, you can use your vibrator as a part of foreplay, or you can even use penis and a vibrator at the same time.

Once your partner penetrates from behind, hand him the vibrator and guide him where you wish to feel these vibrations on your body. It might feel really good on the clitoris, your nipple, your neck, or your thighs. It’s up to you and your partner to discover which areas will only make the situation more steamy for the both of you!


Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size



About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do


Tantric Sex Positions

Tantric Sex Positions That Will Blow Your Mind

Tantric Sex Positions That Will Blow Your Mind


If you and your partner have been researching the best tantric sex positions to improve your sexual life, that means you are looking for something more than just sex – you’re looking for a connection. Even if you haven’t been looking into tantra that much, and are curious to discover what’s it about, this article will provide you with all the information you need to connect with your partner on a more meaningful level and maybe enhance your relationship and not just your sexual life. 

So, for those who don’t know what tantra actually is, tantra is considered a system of combining breaths, sounds, movements, and focus that lead to longer and more intense orgasms, more intimacy, more significant connection, altered states of reality, and transcendence during sex. 

Tantra vs Kama Sutra

If you’re new to this term, you might easily confuse Tantra and Kama Sutra, although they are very different in their nature. Kama Sutra is focused on advanced sex positions while Tantra shows you ways to move and connect with your energy while in these certain positions, which then turns these positions into a completely different experience for you. When trying tantric sex positions, partners should be aware of taking deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling, in order to activate their nervous system that leads to a flow state. 

As much as Tantra is not focused so much on the specific positions, there are a few positions that will be used more often in Tantra to achieve incredible orgasms and an even deeper connection with your partner. If you were looking for new tantric sex positions to try out, here is the list of our favorites!

#1 Goddess Pose

If you want to feel like a goddess during sex, this position is perfect for you. The insertive partner will have to lie on their back, while the receptive one squats over the partner who is beneath them. While doing so, their feet should be flat on the ground. Think of it like a cowgirl position, yet with a more profound experience. 

When you’re in the goddess pose, make sure you maintain eye contact with each other. While the partner on their back can enjoy the goddess riding them and making them feel all kinds of sensations. Don’t forget about inhaling and exhaling deeply. While trying to connect your breath, and get into a flow you’ll never forget.

#2 Open Pincer

In the Open Pincer pose, the receptive partner will lay down while their legs will be in the penetrative partner’s hands. On the other hand, the penetrative partner will kneel on their knees and move towards the receiving partner. For even a better sensation, you can use a pillow or sex wedge under the hip of the partner who is laying down.

There are various reasons why this position is great for tantric sex. It’s great for anal sex, and also for vaginal penetration. The Open Pincer position also creates more space in the vulva, and it’s recommended for self-clitoral stimulation. Last but not least, it’s a position that allows partners to maintain eye contact and shared breath which leads to great pleasure and orgasm. 

#3 Snake Trap

This position is quite different from the previous two mentioned above as the couple will not be close to each other. However, their legs will by being entwined in “V” shapes, while sitting across from each other. Both partners will have their hands on the ankles of the other person to maintain stability and leverage. 

This position is perfect for those looking for a bit more shallow penetration, without losing eye contact. It’s also great for those who love having the entire body view of each other as the position is exposing their bodies. More importantly, it’s great for deeper emotional intimacy, sharing breath, and even for foreplay. 

#4 The Tiger

If you’re a big fan of a spooning position or simply love to cuddle a lot during sex. The Tiger position is what you’ll be most interested to try out with your partner. This variation of the spooning position creates more space between the chest of the insertive partner and the back of the receptive one. To get into it, both partners will need to lie down next to each other on their sides. 

This is one of the tantric sex positions that doesn’t require so much energy and stamina. So any couple can try it at a certain point in their relationship. If you and your partner are looking for an intimate, slow. And sensual position to enjoy each other and achieve great orgasm together, the Tiger is perfect for you. 

#5 Third Eye Bliss

Just by reading the name of this tantric sex position. You already know it’s mostly about connection and eye contact, right? The Third Eye Bliss is a missionary position in which one partner will lay on their back while the insertive partner will start the penetration. The partner who is penetrating will be on top of the receiving partner looking them in the eyes and maintaining the connection and shared breath. 

Both partners can focus on inhaling and exhaling at the same time. And seeing what sensations it causes in their bodies. Once they start feeling all that sexual energy moving through their bodies. They can inhale it up to their spine, all the way into their brain, and slowly exhale it. 


Whichever tantric sex position you choose, you will not be wrong. All these positions are great to enhance your sexual life, and also your relationships. Talk to your partner to discover which position they would like to try and start practicing them when you are ready. Soon, you will discover a completely different dimension of sex that will produce more pleasure than you could ever imagine. 


Start your journey here


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.



Pregnancy Sex Positions

Your Ultimate Guide To Pregnancy Sex Positions

Your Ultimate Guide To Pregnancy Sex Positions


You will change your mind quickly once you see our list of pregnancy sex positions. There is so much to enjoy in bed with your partner, without even mentioning orgasms that are more profound, longer, and more sensual when compared to non-pregnant sex. 

Many couples decide not to have penetrative sex because they fear it will hear the baby, so it’s time to debunk all these myths around pregnancy sex and give you and your partner a chance to enjoy your sexual activities without worries.

From oral and anal sex to using blankets and pillows to spice up the things in the bedroom, here is every position you’ll be able to try when expecting!

1. Doggy Style

If you and your partner were never fans of the missionary positions, you will be excited to learn that sex from behind is actually the most recommended sex position during pregnancy. This position will keep the pressure off the belly, so the pregnant partner can feel more comfortable during sex.

You can also use pillows, towels, or blankets so the position feels more comfortable and experiences a better orgasm. However, while penetrating, it is vital to control its depth. It’s possible that the pregnant partner feels the penis hitting the cervix which can make her feel uncomfortable and cause pain, so be sure to take it slower than usual. 

2. Get On Top!

Many women tend to feel more sexual satisfaction when they are on top of their partner as it allows them to control penetration. Imagine the feeling when pregnant! This sex position is also supported by science, so you can enjoy it without fear of hurting the baby, your partner, or yourself.

The most important thing to do is to adjust your body so it feels comfortable by widening your stance or leaning back. This will keep the belly from tilting you forward and help you manage the situation better. 

3. Doing It While Hugging Each Other!

Well, you will not only hug each other, as the spooning position is perfect for a nice and easy penetration. One partner is holding the other one and penetrating from behind while they are both lying down, facing away from each other. Regardless of the penetration, it’s a good idea to touch the clitoris as that’s where the center for pleasure lies. 

Of course, you can penetrate with any other sex position and then switch to spooning if your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with it. The important thing is to penetrate slowly so the pregnant partner doesn’t feel any discomfort or pain during the penetration and sex. 

4. On Your Back, Cowgirl!

A reversed cowgirl is another great sex position that can bring so much pleasure to both partners. The pregnant partner can do it by straddling the other person and it’s also great for clitoris stimulation. Yet, if you wish to enjoy this sex position, you should make the most of it quickly as it’s not recommendable when the belly gets bigger.

If you enjoy it too much and want to keep doing it with your partner, make sure you provide your body with support by positioning arms behind you and leaning back. Many pregnant women opt for this position as it keeps their stomachs from being compressed which often can affect the sex drive. 

5. On Your Feet

During your first and second trimester, you can easily enjoy an orgasm while standing and having sex with your partner. The pregnant partner will need a bit of support so it’s a good idea to hold them during this position. Make sure you are on solid, stable ground and nothing can affect your balance and, potentially, cause harm. 

In the late second and third trimester, make sure you avoid having sex while standing as it will not be easy to keep your balance and enjoy sex. If at any time, you start feeling like you’re losing your stability, place your palms against a wall and lean in. The later in the pregnancy, the time you spend having sex standing needs to be shorter and shorter. 

6. Oral Sex

If you and your partner enjoy giving and receiving oral sex, the good news is that you will not have to give it up during pregnancy. It is one of the sex types you can enjoy during all three trimesters, and especially during the last one. As many of the sex positions will start to feel uncomfortable as the belly gets bigger, good-old oral sex will never disappoint. 

Also, if you are worried about a pregnant partner swallowing the sperm, don’t be. Sperm cannot affect the baby in any way so you can freely choose it each time you’re simply not up for penetrative sex or want to use it as foreplay. 

7. Anal Sex

Anal sex might not be the first position you will think about when being pregnant, however, it’s completely safe. You can practice anal sex with your partner at your rear or even while in the spooning position. So, if you usually do it the doggy style, why not change it a bit with anal penetration? 

One thing you’ll need to keep in mind is that it would be good to already have experience in anal sex before pregnancy as the pregnant partner might feel too much discomfort and pain. The experience will not harm the baby, yet the woman might feel emotional stress as a result of it.

The Bottom Line

Whichever of these sex positions you will try out, you should always practice them with caution. If a pregnant partner starts feeling uncomfortable, it’s time to either change the position or stop completely. Always communicate before, during, and after sex to make sure you’re both on the same page. Having sex can incredibly improve your intimacy and connect you two even more during this experience. After all, you should be enjoying pregnancy sex, so do it right!


Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do


how to last longer in bed

How to Last Longer in Bed


Amanda Pasciucco, LCAT founder was interviewed by for this article.

Experts Take On Lasting Longer During Sex


Lasting longer in bed is a desire of most men. The reality is that it takes much more time for a woman to reach orgasm than for a man. Finishing before their partners can make males feel insecure regarding their sexual performance.


Although the intensity and what do you do during sex is more important than the time length, there are tricks that you can use to ensure that you will last longer in bed.


To give you the best advice possible, we decided to not limit this article to our experience and knowledge so we reached out to 50 sex experts and ask them the following question:


What is your best advice for men who want to last longer in bed?


We received a variety of tips that range from physical exercises, breathing techniques, to dealing with your emotions and improving the way you communicate with your partner.


Keep reading to see what the experts had to say.


Jessica O’Reilly – Sex With Dr Jess
Jessica O'Reilly


I offer a full online course on how to last longer in bed and overcome premature ejaculation in 6 steps. This involves:


1. Mindfulness practices in masturbation
2. Intentional masturbation to reduce external stimuli
3. Pelvic floor exercises to better understand the muscles that respond to arousal and ejaculation
4. Cognitive-behavioural adjustments to reframe expectations and reduce performance pressure
5. Sex education related to the sexual response cycle and how the body functions during arousal, orgasm and ejaculation

If you want to try an exercise on your own, try basic mindful masturbation:

Touch your entire body for pleasure for 10-20 minutes without trying to reach orgasm. Explore from head to toe. Don’t get hung up on your genitals, but don’t ignore them either.


Tune into your unique responses and physical sensations. What are there textures, pressure, rhythm, movements, temperatures and other sensations you feel in your skin?

Try this every day for a week and see what changes in your body. Can you start to recognize when ejaculation is imminent? What can you do to stave it off? Does slowing down help? How about changing positions or loosening your grip?


Our intention here isn’t to simply last longer, but to enjoy the process. There is no sense in “lasting longer” via distraction that detracts from pleasure; the point is to have the option to prolong the experience and also genuinely enjoy it.

As you tune into your body’s responses, you’ll likely find that your ability to be more present and enjoy pleasure (without worrying about orgasm/ejaculation) increases.

You may also want to experiment with different breathing patterns while you masturbate.

Try breathing more slowly and deeply. Take a big deep breath in and exhale slowly and purposefully; align your strokes with your breath to really slow things down.


See how the sensations and pleasure change as you slow your breath, but don’t worry about how long you last; simply enjoy and observe the process.


Diana Wiley – Dear Dr Diana

Diana Wiley

My advice for men who want to last longer in bed.

This is a frequent concern in my sex therapy practice. It’s frustrating for a man (as well as his partner) if he ejaculates too soon after intercourse begins.


A woman may want her lover to be able to thrust for a longer time to help her achieve more sexual satisfaction. I have two key pointers for this situation.

First, sometimes just being able to talk about it with your partner can relieve some of the anxiety at the root of the problem.


Performance anxiety releases stress hormones, which play havoc with a man’s sexual response. Repeated experiences can lead to this becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.


Recognize that this is a couple’s problem—not just the man’s problem. Have some frank and heartfelt discussions, and do some research together to explore the varied treatment options (exercises, medications, counseling, etc.).

Second, see if you can cultivate a playful attitude about the issue. Sure, it can feel devastating at the time, but with help you can make progress. In the meantime, try to lighten up and not take it so seriously.


Sex is not a “job” or a “task” to complete. Relax and enjoy the process. And also avoid blaming each other. Work together and remind each other that this is not really about performance or perfection.


Megan Fleming – Great Life Great Sex

Megan Fleming

My best advice for men who want to last longer, backed up by Lori Brotto’s extensive clinical research is… to be in the moment, mindfulness, while knowing that the foundation of arousal is relaxation.


In my 20 years of clinical experience in NYC, I can tell you the #1 reason men come to my office is related to performance anxiety.


It can show up in ejaculating sooner than you’d like, finding it really difficult or not even being able to ejaculate with a partner or having difficulties getting or maintaining an erection.


Almost ubiquitously every single one of them was so interested and focused on giving their partner pleasure that they got into their heads and how it’s going to go or fear it will go (I call this anti-fantasy) and well, since none of that is erotic they unwittingly and unconsciously inhibit their own arousal.


Nina Rubin – After Deafeat

Nina Rubin

If a man wants to last longer in bed, he could wait longer to have intercourse.


Much of the time, sex is considered as intercourse: penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus.


When also considering oral sex and performing it on a partner, that can be completely satisfying for the receiver and very much a turn-on for the giver.


There are many more sexual activities that will bring both people pleasure and prolong intercourse.


Consider massage, experimenting with kinks, and stimulating your partner.


Dainis Graveris – Sexual Alpha

Dainis Graveris

Stop your lousy masturbation habits. Most men have problems lasting longer in bed because of them. I personally experienced erectile dysfunction in my younger years because of porn overuse. If you want to resolve this issue, stop watching porn. In a few weeks, you’ll notice how sexy and attractive real women become.

Get fit and fix your health. Aside from looking more attractive to women, getting fit boosts your health and improves your performance in bed. Any exercise that elevates your heart rate for at least 30 minutes thrice a week will improve your cardiovascular health.

You’ll also notice how you can stay physically active for longer. Plus, an improvement in metabolism, including blood circulation to your heart, lungs, and (yup, you guessed it right) your penis.

And it’s not just about getting enough exercise. Cut drinking, smoking, and eating junk food. All these will hurt your health and your sex life. Make better health choices if you want to improve your love life and your life as a whole.

Strengthen your PC muscles by doing Kegel exercises. First, you need to know how to isolate your PC muscles. These are the muscles you use to stop peeing, and that’s actually a perfect time to start your Kegels. When you take a leak, stop yourself for 5-10 seconds by squeezing these muscles as strongly as possible and then releasing them.

In two weeks, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your control. You can then do regular Kegels anywhere besides the comfort room. For example, you can do it while sitting at your desk, driving, having lunch, etc. Don’t worry. Nobody will know what’s happening down there.

Do a mix of 30 quick squeezes and releases, followed by 5-10 seconds of holding your muscles and repeating it 5 times. Do this no more than 10 minutes per day.

Do the stop-start or edging technique. It involves stopping all sexual stimulation temporarily when you feel you’re about to cum. Once this feeling has passed, you can go back and stimulate each other. You can practice edging by yourself or with your partner. If you do it by yourself, make sure to focus.

Remember your Kegels? When you edge, you get yourself hard, get close to ejaculation, and squeeze your PC muscles as hard as you can, and hold it for 10 seconds.

While you’re squeezing, take deep, relaxed breaths. Imagine moving the sexual energy from your penis area to your whole body with each breath. Learn to control yourself as well as be aware of your hardness levels.


Switch positions and mix things up. Learn how your body works so you’ll know what positions make you less aroused and which ones make you cum sooner. If you find yourself getting too close to ejaculation, switch positions. Change the angle or tempo to make sex feel different.

Even if you’ve penetrated your partner, no rule states that you have to stay inside. It can be fun to thrust a few times, withdraw, and use your fingers to keep going. Teasing your partner this way will increase the intensity of the pleasure too.

Don’t be afraid to bring in backup (AKA sex toys). Make things easier by getting some sex toys to help you last longer. For example, when you’re about to cum, you can first withdraw and use a vibrator or dildo on your partner. Doing so helps you go back to step 1 and brings more pleasure to your partner.

When using any toy, make sure you don’t just pull the toy in and out. Instead, let your partner instruct you on the spot and then simply keep pressing up and down or a little bit back and forth. Adding toys to your sex life will not make you less of a man.

There’s still no toy that can replace a man and sensations you can bring with your magic touch, masculine energy, and passionate kisses. Ask any woman.


Anya Laeta – Sf Sex Coaching

Anya Laeta

To last longer with a partner, you need to learn how to last longer alone.


A lot of men for years “train” themselves to finish within minutes while masturbating.


It’s no wonder that is exactly what their body does in partnered sex.


Allowing yourself to take your time, breathe, and relax more during solo sex, as well as becoming comfortable with edging, will help you establish better ejaculation control.


Dr. Teralyn Sell

Teralyn Sell

For a man who wants to last longer in bed do the following:


1. Seek medical advice – Seek guidance from a medical professional to help rule out any underlying medical conditions.


2. Evaluate pornography use – Pornography impacts sexual physical, mental and sexual health in many ways and we aren’t talking about it enough.


3. Get out of your head (meaning your brain) – Use breathing and mindfulness techniques in the bedroom instead of worrying and stressing about lasting long enough.


Maj Wismann – Web Sexolog

Maj Wismann

As a Master of Sexology and clinical sexologist this is a question I hear many times during a workweek.


If you want to last longer in bed as a man you can focus on the mastery of your excitement and arousal.


This is something you can practice and learn to know your body’s signals.


When you are a Master of your body’s signals you can learn to slow down – move the focus to your partner etc. and in this way you can drag on the ejaculation and orgasm.


Audrey Hope – Ask Audrey Now

Audrey Hope

For men who want to last longer in bed, they must take a new inner approach to sex, change their perception and RELAX.


You can’t just pressure your sexual organs to make them do what you want. Our bodies need another way to communicate.


For men, it can’t be just about performance, that puts pressure to be superficially “good in bed.”


To last longer, learn self-esteem and not the need to prove yourself.


Get into the way it is making you feel and the joy of pleasing your partner. Have sex because you want to please another and share divine experiences.


Alma Ramirez-Acosta – Vibio

Alma Ramirez-Acosta

A simple step towards lasting longer in bed is to spend more time pleasuring your partner at the beginning of the session.


It sounds obvious, but it will help even up the stage of arousal between you.

For a more long-term approach, combining breathwork and edging gives great results.


This means that you should practice getting to the point right before climax and stop, take a couple of deep breaths, and repeat this cycle as many times as possible.


Edging helps you understand your body’s arousal journey, from stimulation to climax, and gain control over what you want to happen next or when.


Bonus point, it will give you explosive orgasms thanks to all the build up!

When practicing lasting longer in bed, the most important thing to bear in mind is that it is as much of a physical exercise as a mental exercise.


We often underestimate how our minds take control over our bodies, whether it is in the shape of nerves, low self-esteem or disbelief in our own capabilities.


But doubting ourselves in bed is something we all go through in one way or another – it’s all about unlearning what we think we should be and focusing on turning sex into the most pleasurable, fun experience possible.


Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Remove the stigma.

Stop getting in your head so much. Remember how your parents would tell you not to lose sleep over a problem, and how relaxing will help?


That advice turned out to be timeless and is actually the key to understanding how you can subconsciously get some control.


Often men are too worried and end up underperforming in the bedroom, which causes greater anxiety and leads you into a downward spiral. Watch out for the signs – and trust me, your partner just wants to help and doesn’t judge you for it.

Practice makes perfect!

Nobody expects you to turn into a rowdy porn star overnight. Foreplay is your best friend, so take your time to really study your partner.


Consider using a thicker condom to decrease sensation and practice building control by stopping just before ejaculation and waiting 10-20 seconds, taking deep breaths, and squeezing the head.

Expand your definition of sex.

There’s a lot more to intimacy than just vaginal sex. In fact, that’s just a small part of the overall experience, so why not try to mix things up?


Communication with your partner is key – so work together to see what else works for you.


A lot of my clients enjoy watching new types of porn together and discover something they’ve often never even thought of! Be brave, be curious, and be unexpected!


Sonya Schwartz – Her Norm

Sonya Schwartz

I’ve been a relationship expert and I can say that there are indeed people that are concerned about how fast they end sexual activity.


This scenario sometimes creates conflicts in relationships saying that their partners are being unsatisfied with their performance in bed. But there are things a man can do to make it last longer.


One of the best pieces of advice that I can give is to keep exploring different positions. Switching and changing position can help you prolong it.


This also gives you time to rest your penis and calm it to prevent reaching the climax that instant.


In between changing positions, try to calm down and postpone it. In this way, you don’t need to risk the moment and cut the pleasure that your partner is having.


Moreover, switching and changing positions can increase intimacy during sex.


Your mind will as well be more focused on the position and on keeping your balance while in it. This also adds wilderness and playfulness during sex. It will eventually contribute to happier intercourse.


And besides, exploring different positions is what increases excitement and interest during sex. This will prevent both of you from being bored in a single position.


Tyler Dårlig Ulv – Bad Wolf

Tyler Dårlig Ulv

Often times the root of insecurity about lasting “long enough” or “performing” for men is found in the toxic upbringing lots of guys came into adulthood with.


Those things—especially the idea of having to perform—create anxiety and stress that doesn’t make sex better and enhances worry (and sometimes the likelihood of erection problems).

Instead of fixating on how looong you’re lasting, reframe how you approach sex time. So you cum real quick. Ok. Can you cum again in 30 or 40 minutes?


Awesome! Stretch your session across that span and focus on your partner while you’re recharging. Two loads is always more fun than one.

Can’t cum again for a long time? Begin doing some internal work about why sex ends for you once you bust. Consider talking with a therapist about it. Seriously!

Why does your orgasm mean it’s over? If you know how your body/penis will likely respond, plan ahead. Dive into what your partner wants with toys, tools, or your whole face, once your boner is out of the equation.

And lose the idea that there’s a “right” amount of duration for sex. That’s a myth perpetuated by sitcoms, movies, and the high fantasy of pornography. It’s not making you better in bed, or giving anybody else any pleasure. Bin it.


Raffi Bilek – Baltimore Therapy Center

Raffi Bilek

One way to extend your time spent loving is to focus your attention on your partner’s pleasure.


Make sure they’re enjoying what you’re doing, and pay attention to whether they want more of this or less of that.


The more focus you put on your partner, the less focus you’ll have on your own sensations, and the longer you’ll be able to stick it out taking care of their needs.

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

For men that want to last longer in bed, I would recommend experimenting with edging and orgasm control.


Edging is a technique where you get close to the point of orgasm then back down and do not allow yourself to orgasm. Then keep repeating until you are ready to orgasm.


This also helps you have more intense orgasms when you do finally let yourself have an orgasm. You can be do this solo or partnered, whatever suits your desires.

Dr. Betsy Greenleaf – Greenleaf Be Well

Betsy Greenleaf

Performance concerns are high amongst men. My biggest advice before trying blue pills and enhancement procedures has to do with muscle strength. We start to lose 3-5% of muscle mass yearly after the age of 30.


Though many go to the gym, most people forget to do exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles.


It is the pelvic floor muscles that give us ( men and women ) the ability to enjoy sexual activity, lengthen our sexual response, and increase the intensity of orgasm.


Simply starting with Kegel exercises and making a habit of continuing these exercises throughout life.


Kegel exercises can be performed by envisioning tightening your pelvic floor muscles…..these are the muscles that are used to hold in urine, gas or stool.


Tighten for the count of 10 and then relax and repeat for 3 more sets. You can also do an exercise called “quick flicks.” Tighten the same muscles quickly and then relax 10 times in a row and then repeat 3 sets.


Abductor machines in the gym, or rolling up a towel, or placing a ball between the legs while seated in a chair and squeezing can also strengthen these muscles.

Kegels are my biggest secret that anyone can do anywhere. Strong pelvic floor muscles will improve your response, performance and make your partner smile.


Dr. Robin Buckley

Robin Buckley

When my male clients ask about sustaining their sexual performance, the most significant suggestion I offer is for them to focus on their partner’s pleasure rather than their own.


By concentrating on the feedback a partner’s reactions are providing, a man shifts his focus from his own pleasurable sensations to those of his partners.


His thoughts are centered around listening to the feedback, and adjusting technique to get responses which signal a better experience for the partner.


For some men who need a specific objective, I encourage them to discover or learn one new thing about their partner’s sexual response or sensual preferences each time they engage in physical intimacy.


Having a clearly defined objective often provides that appropriate “distraction” to stay engaged longer.


Because he is no longer focused on his own physical sensations or his own increasing sexual response, he is able to last longer in bed.


It is beneficial to both individuals because it allows for more playtime, the partner is fully cared for, and the man learns more about his partner’s preferences, enjoying the partner’s experience until he is ready to return his attention to his own fulfillment.


Sureya Leonara

Sureya Leonara

Lasting longer in bed is about quality of presence, breath, and relaxation.


Contrary to popular advice to “think of something else,” cultivating stamina and a high-level of sexual mastery requires: tuning into the subtleties of how your sexual energy is moving, knowing where your edge is, and maintaining awareness to ride that edge without slipping over too soon.

If you’re in your head fantasizing during sex you’ll likely push over your edge faster or distract yourself from tracking your edge and disconnect from your lover.


Anything that takes you out of your body and into your head diminishes your presence and performance.

When approaching orgasm most men breathe shallow and rapidly which squeezes out sharp, short, explosive orgasms.


Slow, deep belly breathing calms the nervous system and relieves tension in the genitals which spreads pleasure throughout the entire body.


This supports greater stamina, deeper, longer orgasms and allows multiple full-body, non-ejaculatory orgasms to happen without a refractory period or loss of erection in between.


Dr. Stephanie Buehler – Learn Sex Therapy

Stephanie Buehler

One thing that rarely gets mentioned in regard to rapid ejaculation is the need to learn how to relax and tune in to one’s physical sensations and one’s partner’s sexual needs.


Becoming hyper-focused on lasting longer caused a man to lose his connection with the entirety of his body.


All he feels is the sensations in his genitals, instead of noticing all of the pleasurable things happening—the quickening of the pulse, the tensing of muscles, and the tautness of the skin.


He also loses his connection to his partner, who may complain that he is “selfish,” even though he is trying so hard to have longer intercourse.

There are different ways to learn relaxation, of course, but the easiest is to try regular deep breathing.


There are applications to remind you to breathe, and applications to help you regulate your breath. Deep breathing helps to calm both the body and the mind.


Then, when a man is having sex with their partner, they can use the breath to help regulate and slow things down.


Then they can pay attention to something besides his penis, and stay confident about having intercourse while they connect emotionally with their partner, instead of worrying about this being a distraction.


Rebecca Blanton – Love Letters To A Unicorn

Rebecca Blanton

Many people believe that the longer penetrative sex lasts, the better the sex must be. This belief is fostered by popular culture representations of “great sex” lasting “hours.”


However, when marriage and sex therapists were surveyed about what client reported was a satisfying or desirable length for penetration, the time ranged from seven to 13 minutes.


Many reported that people having as little as three minutes of penetrative sex reported it being adequate.


Additionally, more than a third reported that sex lasting more longer than 10 to 30 minutes was “too long.”

My question for people seeking to “last longer” in bed would be, “What is your motivation behind this desire?”


If the motivation is a belief that you just don’t last “long enough” or that lasting longer would make you better in bed, I would suggest you are looking for solutions in the wrong place.


If you and your partner(s) are enjoying the length of time you have penetrative sex, there is no need to increase you duration.

If you do not know if you partner(s) are enjoying the sex you are having, it’s time for an honest and open conversation about your sex life.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is because you are trying to help your partner reach orgasm and your current stamina does not lead them to climax, the duration may not be the issue.


For many women and people with vaginas, penetration alone will not lead to climax. Most folks with a vagina need stimulation of the clitoris, the nipples, or other erogenous zones to reach climax.


If your partner(s) have a penis, the slowness to climax may be due to discomfort (add lube! Go slow) or need for additional penial or ball stimulation.

If your motivation for increasing your sexual stamina is to prevent the end of the sexual encounter too soon, your climax does not need to signal the end of the encounter.


You have a mouth, fingers, and can introduce toys and other sexual stimuli to continue sex even after you have climaxed.

If you are among the approximate 4 percent of men who climax prematurely, you may want to consider various techniques for delaying orgasm.


To qualify medically as someone who experiences premature ejaculation, you must meet these criteria: climax within one minute, this has happened for at least six months, you find this distressing, and there are no other medical reasons for early ejaculation.

These techniques can be used by anyone seeking to increase sexual duration.


Edging is a technique any gender can use to help delay orgasm. This involves stimulating penis (or genitals) until you feel close to orgasm and then stopping.


Practicing this repeatedly can help some people delay orgasm. It is also very fun to engage in with a partner. Bring you partner close to orgasm and then stop.


Doing this repeatedly before climax can lead to enhanced orgasms for many people.


Hypnosis, either by a professional or learned with a partner, can help delay ejaculation. There are several prominent sex educators who regularly teach classes on hypnosis and how to use it for intimacy.


Take a few classes on hypnosis and sex. This can be a great option is you have a partner you trust to practice with.


Condoms are a tried-and-true technique for many men in delaying ejaculation. If you are not currently using condoms with a partner, discuss adding them to your intimate encounters.


The additional layer between you and a partner can lessen sensations and delay orgasm.

Amanda Lambros

Amanda Lambros

Sexual preferences matters to some but not all couples.


Understanding why you are in a relationship and whether that is an important component to you is first and foremost.


If it is, seek help from a sexologist to learn some skills to apply in the bedroom and level up your sexual prowess.


If you aren’t able to collaborate on your sexual preferences and it’s a non-negotiable for you, say goodbye and move on to your next partner.


Erin Dierickx – Erin D Therapy

Erin Dierickx

The Stop-Start and Squeeze techniques. While in bed, you or your partner can begin stimulating the penis with a dry hand, lightly and slowly. Do this until you have a firm erection.


When you start to get close to ejaculating, signal to your partner to pause stimulation or squeeze the penis.


This increases your awareness of when you are about to ejaculate and can start to build a tolerance to last longer the more this is done.

Take turns pleasuring each other.


Focus on each other one at a time in order to heighten your enjoyment of the pleasure and focus on the sensations. This is a form of mindfulness in bed.


It is a way for you to stay present and by taking turns, this helps you last longer due to pleasuring your partner while you are pausing your own stimulation.


This will continue to build your tolerance over time for lasting longer.

Get on the bottom. Men are physiologically more able to control their ejaculation when they are on the bottom rather than on top during sex.


Lachlan Brown – Hack Spirit

Lachlan Brown

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to combine effective mental and physical techniques.


On the physical side I’d recommend pelvic floor exercises, healthy diet and reducing the amount of red meat you are eating.


On the mental side, I’d recommend taking things slow in the bedroom and appreciating every inch of your lover instead of going straight to the “main course.”


This will slow down the idea of sex as some kind of prize or being all about the climax.


In sex, as in life, it’s the journey that counts more than just the destination.


Renée Mayne

Renée Mayne

The easiest way for men to last longer in bed is to change the way they view sex, we put so much focus on foreplay and orgasm we forget the depth and fun that we can experience in the middle.


You see, subconsciously we know the orgasm feels amazing and we just want to get there! Especially for men because they are so goal oriented.

We have a natural desire to speed up when we get excited, but instead we need to slow down and come back to the breath.


Learn to tap into the energy of your body and you can redistribute the energy from beyond the penis and move it throughout the body.


The key is to not contract the muscles and relax the muscles, this opens us up to not only lasting longer in bed but better orgasms.


Be patient with it and it requires presence and it’s so worth it.


James Kelly – Ed Clinics

Premature ejaculation (PE) can often be a problem for men who have erectile dysfunction (PE).


Since an erection goes away after ejaculation, it can be difficult to know if the problem is PE or ED.

Erectile dysfunction affects over 66% of men at some point in their lives, and becomes more likely with age.


If you are experiencing both the symptoms of ED and PE, it’s important that you speak to your doctor about the ED first, as for 90% of men over 40, it can be a symptom of an underlying health condition, most commonly cardiovascular disease or diabetes.


Your doctor may suggest lifestyle changes, medication, or treatments like shockwave therapy for ED. Once you have treated the root cause of the ED, you may find that the symptoms of PE disappear.

One simple action you can take at home to combat both the symptoms of ED and PE is pelvic floor exercises. These train the muscles that keep blood in the penis, making maintaining an erection and delaying ejaculation much easier.


Pelvic floor exercises are simple, and the easiest ones can be performed sitting at a desk.


  • Tense your muscles around the lower base of your penis, as if you were trying to stop urinating.
  • Hold for five seconds.
  • Release.
  • Repeat for five sets of ten, twice a day.


Dr. Laura Meihofer

Laura Meihofer

As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I recommend two simple exercises to increase orgasm control.

1. The first exercise starts outside the bedroom.


Start by gently tightening your pelvic floor muscles as if you are stopping the flow of urine. You should feel a lift or squeeze around your penis or perineum.


Next, take a slow deep breath into your belly. Pay attention to your penis, testicles, and/or perineum as you should feel a slight drop with inhalation.


This is relaxation and lengthening of the pelvic floor muscles that control erection and orgasm. It is important that you feel and control these motions inside and outside the bedroom.


Practice these motions in your daily life but also when you engage in sex.

2. Becoming familiar with your arousal spectrum and learning to control your orgasm is essential to lasting longer in bed.


Consider your arousal spectrum to be a 10 point scale. 0 is the equivalent to no sexual arousal while 10 is maximum sexual arousal and/or orgasm.


As you spend time with yourself and/or your partner, practice working your way up the scale and how your body reacts at each number.


When trying to last longer in bed, the aim is to stay around a 6 – 8 on this scale.


As you approach 7-9 on the scale, communicate the need to change things up with your partner such as changing positions, rhythm, and stimulation style to bring it back down to 6-8.


Stephanie Wijkstrom – Counseling and Wellness Center

Stephanie Wijkstrom

If you are concerned about being an adequate lover and want to fulfill your partners sexual needs, you do not necessarily need to be able to offer 30 minute sex sessions.


It is a cruel joke by nature that women take up to 20 minutes to reach orgasm and up to 9 minutes to reach full arousal, but men can reach arousal in under a minute and orgasm in 2-5 minutes.


Any true renaissance man can bridge this gap to greater sexual intimacy by offering more foreplay.


Keep in mind, 20 minutes of foreplay is worth 5 minutes of penetrative sex. Let there be a long build up as the key to helping your partner achieve orgasm.


Edwina Caito – Bedbible

There are a few ways for a man to last longer in bed, however, it depends on how far he is willing to go in order to achieve that longevity.


Other than thinking about baseball or great-aunt Ethel, here are some helpful tips:

Go slow: Slowing things down by prolonging foreplay, taking small breaks for water then starting in lesser-exciting sexual positions.


For instance, if he climaxes more quickly in the doggy style position, try spooning or missionary first.

A little help from a toy: Erection rings are an easy and pleasurable way to last longer in bed.


An erection ring is placed at the base of the penis or around the shaft and testicles. This creates a stronger erection, makes the penis more sensitive and delays ejaculation making sex better for both partners.


Best yet, some erection rings come with built-in clitoral stimulators! Who knows, you may climax together!

Practice makes perfect: You would think that masturbation is counterproductive.


But masturbating earlier in the day, before sex, can actually help in delaying climax later.


Some men have found great success using Fleshlights made specifically for building endurance (Stamina Training Kits), as well as penis pumps and erection rings combined.


Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn – Luvbites

Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

Last longer in bed with sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices
In my years of researching the key to maximum and sustainable sexual satisfaction I found that sexual mindfulness is the most promising contributing factor for men to last longer in bed.


Sexual mindfulness therapy is already being used to treat various sex concerns including sexual desires, erectile dysfunction, and other sexual functioning. Tantric sex is more on a spiritual than scientific path, but both are similar.

To last longer, I recommend sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices such as sensual meditation and edging.


Use guided meditation and touch to do sensual meditation. Don’t pursue if you get an erection.


Edging is when you’re about to cum and you stop (whether you’re having sex or masturbating). These practices should help you last longer in bed!


Shari James

Shari James

Most men’s sexual encounters start with anxiety and end in an oops!

These men are then diagnosed with premature ejaculation as the problem. I see their problem as simply being a lack of education and training.

These guys may place the blame on the woman that they are with… she gets him too excited. Or they may place the blame on being uncircumcised.

But I see the problem as how you are training yourself. You must understand that each time you self pleasure, you are creating neural circuitry in your brain and laying down tracks that create a habitual response.


If self pleasure is a quick stress reliever then that is how you are programming yourself.

Slow down and take your time during self pleasure.


Because ejaculation is an involuntary response of the sympathetic nervous system you’ll want to combine masturbation with meditation by breathing deep, full and slow all the way down into your belly…this will put you in a state of relaxed arousal.

During self pleasure shift your context from “getting off” to preparing to be an amazing lover.


Carrie Leaf

Carrie Leaf

The reasons to why a man may struggle to last long in bed can be because of many different issues, but one general shift a man could try to work on would be to truly be present in the moment and noticing the details of the experience.


Particularly the details of their partners experience as opposed to their own.


When there is a shift from a physical experience alone to a spiritual level and a connection between partners, it is often an entirely different experience.


Dr. Joe Kort

Here is some advice to help men last longer in bed:


  1. Masturbate a few hours before you plan to have sex. This will help you last longer because the penis is desensitized. Unlike women, men need a longer refractory period – from a few minutes to a few hours.
  2. Use a Trojan Extended Pleasure condom. It contains a small amount of climax-control lubricant, which decreases sensitivity and slows down ejaculation.
  3. Try edging (intentionally stopping yourself right before the point of orgasm and then starting up again). It prolongs pleasure as well as the duration of sexual activity.
  4. Slow down. Focus on pleasuring your partner first and you last.
  5. Squeeze the head of your penis for 10 to 20 seconds if you feel you are ready to ejaculate. The pinching will reduce your erection and help you last longer.
  6. Try a penis sleeve. Some sleeves lessen sensation and help you last longer.
  7. If your partner is a woman, have her on top and facing away from you. This “reverse cowgirl” position allows the woman to stimulate her clitoris and climax before you.
  8. Use Trojan’s new Extended Pleasure benzocaine delay spray, an endurance enhancer that temporarily prolongs the time until ejaculation. Apply a small amount to the head and shaft of the penis before intercourse. It can be used with Trojan latex condoms.


Indigo Stray Conger – Choosing Therapy

Indigo Stray Conger

Practice lasting longer on your own, especially if you tend to masturbate to climax quickly.


Stimulate your penis as you typically would and then try to pause multiple times once you arrive at a high excitation point.


Learn to extend the period of excitation before release. This is called edging or orgasm control and it is the best way to learn how to improve performance during sexual activity.


Men who orgasm quickly often feel as if they have no control over the excitation process or when they orgasm.


However, climaxing quickly is usually the result of habit and can be overcome by paying attention to your body’s excitation cycle.


Amanda Pasciucco – Life Coaching and Therapy

Amanda Pasciucco

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is to notice the difference between penetrating a mouth, vagina, or anus vs that of a hand or a sex toy.


Solo sex is different than partnered sex. If you are having partnered sex, chances are the orifice you are penetrating feels different than that of your hand.


Be mindful and switch up your hand techniques.


Similarly, if that isn’t enough, be aware that using a condom is not something to be ashamed of. It helps many men last longer and therefore, I know men who decide to wear them for this reason.


Andrew Aaron – Help For Passion

Andrew Aaron

Most men want to be great lovers. For that purpose they wish to maintain erections as long as possible.


Strategies exist to succeed at that, but lasting longer is also possible by holding realistic expectations and eliminating some obstacles.


Confident men who know their feelings, who are able to relax and enjoy a quality emotional connection with their sexual partners will have greater success.


So eliminating anxiety, like the kind produced by worry about too-soon ejaculation, as well as internal pressure to perform promotes lasting longer. Sex is a very emotional activity!


How can I use my hammer to produce a butterfly? Many women do not orgasm from intercourse (though many fake it).


The hardest erection and the most vigorous thrusting still may not result in her orgasm because intercourse doesn’t provide clitoral stimulation. Being realistic about this is important.


Talk to your partner. To last longer it is best to be relaxed, playful and have fun during sex. To do so, stay out of your head (the big one, I mean). You may shift your attention to slow your pace towards ejaculation.


If you are getting too aroused, move your attention to away from the sensations that are most arousing, such as your penis and to a less arousing place or activity like caressing or kissing your partner.


Where your attention goes, there also will go your hot sexual energy. So if you are speeding to orgasm before the time is right, shift your attention to your breathing or other body sensations instead of the exciting action.


Requesting a change and reduction in stimulation from your partner at this time can help. When orgasm grows near before the right time, you will notice the heat in your pelvis and penis.


Through visualizing the hot energy flowing out of your pelvis and spreading throughout your body you will cool your pelvis, interrupting it from building to an explosion through ejaculation.


Getting good at lasting longer can help you be a better man in every part of your life.


Rachel Sommer – My Sex Toy

Rachel Sommer

While we can’t shun away from the excitement and adrenaline of quickies, sex should be, for the most time, enjoyed without time constraints.


Unfortunately, certain factors like age, disease, medication, and anxiety might lead to premature ejaculation.


So, here’s my best advice for lasting longer in bed: Train Your Pelvic Muscles Located just below your prostate, the pelvic floor is vital in sexual stamina training. Yes!


A 2005 study, among others, found that 3 in 4 men improved erectile function after Kegel exercises.


Strengthening the pelvic floor – pubococcygeal (PC) muscles help you control yourself during sex to withhold the urge to orgasm, thus delaying ejaculation.


And the best thing about it is just like every other muscle in your body, these muscles can be strengthened with regular exercise.


To work out the pelvic muscles, simulate the act of stopping yourself from peeing midstream or passing gas, and you’ll feel the muscles between your penis and rectum move.


You can also identify the pelvic floor muscles by trying to lift your balls without using your hands. You feel them. Don’t you?


And to tone the muscles:


  • Tighten the muscles – standing, sitting, or lying down.
  • Hold tight for 3 seconds before releasing for another 3 seconds.
  • Repeat as many times as needed – at least 10 reps a day. Kegel exercising combined with other tactics like switching positions, wearing the right condoms, and edging can make a great difference in your sex life.

Samantha Moss – Romantific

Samantha Moss

Since women take a longer time to orgasm, men need a lot of stamina to last longer in bed. As a dating and relationship expert, factors like inexperience, overstimulation, and anxiety may cause premature ejaculation in men.


However, these concerns can be addressed, and doing so can lead to happier, healthier sex life.

Take it slow. To help your partner last longer in bed, ask him to take things slow. This gives him enough time to stimulate you and slow down his ejaculation.


Pacing himself can also help, starting with slow thrusts that gradually increase into faster ones.

Change positions. Shifting positions requires you to take a break and slow down movements. It allows your body to cool down because it doesn’t get as much stimulation.


A great tip would be to switch to positions that don’t penetrate as deeply, giving you more time to last in bed.

Talk to your partner. Getting support from your partner is the best thing to do under the circumstances. Being open and honest can do a lot of good for your relationship, as well as improve intimacy.


Explain to your partner your desire to last longer, so that they can understand what’s happening.


Sarah Rose Bright

Sarah Rose Bright

Most men contract their bodies during arousal (whether clenching their buttocks, thighs etc) and amplify this even more hoping this will help them last longer in bed.


If you want to last longer, put your attention on relaxing and enjoying the pleasure in the moment rather than focusing on the goal of lasting longer.


Men can be worried that if they relax into their pleasure they will ejaculate more quickly however with practice they will find that it is in relaxation that their pleasure can expand and grow and they last longer.


This is best explored on your own at first.


Also, be mindful of your breath – is it shallow? are you holding your breath at times? Both are very common.


Take slower and fuller breaths  and make some sound, even if only on the exhale. It helps you to relax.


Kate Sloan – Girly Juice

Kate Sloan

Best advice for men who want to last longer in bed: Take a break and do something else.


The majority of people with vulvas don’t reach climax from penetration alone anyway, so if giving your partner pleasure is the goal, penetration isn’t always the right thing to focus on.


Try stopping what you’re doing and giving your partner oral sex for a while instead, or using your hands on them.


Michelle Devani – Love Devani

Michelle Devani

As a relationship expert, I understand it’s normal for guys to finish too fast every once and a while, however if you ejaculate during less than a minute of intercourse regularly then you may have a problem.

If you’re having trouble finishing so soon, seeking the help of your spouse might be really beneficial. To initiate, inform your spouse that you really want to attempt lasting longer and see if they are willing to take part.


Additionally, because hypersensitivity can cause sexual dysfunction, using a condom is a simple treatment that can help sex lasting longer.


The condom serves as a barrier around the penis, lessening orgasm and possibly causing ejaculation to be disrupted.


The pause-squeeze method also helps sex last longer, having sex till you feel like you’re about to get done. Then, for a second, pull out and squeeze the head of your penis, or until the urge to ejaculate subsides.


Finally, continue to have sex as needed while repeating the method. Thrusting aggressively produces orgasm in a short period of time.


Positions and styles that restrict your movements, such as having your spouse on top of you, can be beneficial since you won’t lose control and start thrusting too fast.


April Maccario – Ask April

April Maccario

It’s humiliating, it’s unexpected, and it turns what should be one of life’s greatest joys into one of life’s greatest disappointments, but as the founder of a dating website who understands relationships, it’s both frustrating and common among men.


There are several smart and healthy strategies to reduce your premature ejaculation and extend your time in bed.


The following tactics will boost your chances of being able to have longer sex sessions than you’re used to:

Seek assistance from your partner. This may help your partner understand your frustrations.


Once you’ve established a line of communication with your partner, you may talk about what causes your orgasm and try out some techniques.

Do pelvic floor exercises. Experts feel that if your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, delaying your ejaculation would be more difficult.


Act as if you’re attempting to stop yourself from peeing or passing gas to flex your pelvic floor muscles, and notice which muscles move.

Do the slower pace. Slow down as much as possible, then take frequent breaks to go even slower.


Thrusting frequently produces intense sensations and may increase your chances of orgasming after a short period.


Nikolina Jeric – 2Date4Love

Nikolina Jeric

Here are some tactics that can help men last longer in bed:

Practice Kegels exercises.


Unlike common opinion, Kegels exercises aren’t for women only – men also have pelvic floor muscles that can be built and straightened.


The point is – if your pelvic floor muscles are weak, you’ll have a hard time controlling premature ejaculation. If you work on building muscles in this area, you’ll have more control over your ejaculation and last longer in bed.


One way to practice Kegels exercises is to lay down and flex pelvic floor muscles for 3 seconds and relax them. Repeat this process a few times for maximum results

Try the cowgirl position.


If you haven’t tried, maybe it’s the right time to practice more the cowgirl position. The secret hides in the fact that women control the pace and thrust, allowing you to delay the orgasm.


Jackie Golob – Shameless Therapy

Jackie Golob

My best advice for men who want to last longer in bed is seek out a sex therapist for this work!


In sex therapy, that therapist is going to help with realistic expectations, correcting mythology of “lasting long,” incorporating bibliotherapy to read up on this topic from reputable sources.


Also, changing thoughts related to worrying about maintaining an erection, anxiety reduction techniques, focusing on communication skills with their partner(s), expanding sexual repertoire with various levels of desire and maintaining an erection, and exercises with their partner for sex therapy work.


There is no magic way to last longer in bed.


Another thing to look into is if there is something medically/biologically/genetically going on, and seeking out a doctor if this is the case.


30% of sexual disorders are medical and 70% is mental, so there’s got to be a both and approach.


Balancing out let’s check to see if there is something medically going on and mentally what’s getting in the way of maintaining an erection.


Have there been shameful messages? Unsupportive partners? Negative thoughts?


The best advice is to seek help from a sex therapist professional that specializes in this field and this is their niche to get the best support.


Marsha Jackson – FoxTail

Marsha Jackson

It’s no secret that many males find orgasm more easily than women.


That, along with the fact that premature ejaculation is the most common sexual illness in males under the age of 40, means you may find yourself unsatisfied after he’s done.


It’s a terrible bummer to discover his good times are ended before you’ve even begun.

Some people may discover that foreplay allows them to extend their sexual activity. These people may enjoy and please their spouse without having to worry about ejaculating too soon.


As a result, incorporating oral sex or manual stimulation into one’s sexual activities may be beneficial, especially if penetrative sex is unlikely to endure long enough for all partners to experience orgasm.

Exercises for the pelvic floor muscles supporting the bladder and facilitating ejaculation can be strengthened using Pelvic Floor Exercises.


When urinating, one can tighten up and stop the flow for 5–10 seconds before restarting. They should be able to progress to longer holds by performing this several times each day.

Premature ejaculation can be helped with medication, but doctors typically only do so when all other options have failed.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants, can alter the sexual function and make orgasm more difficult. As a result, SSRIs may assist in postponing ejaculation and extend a person’s lifespan.


Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Let’s start with Socrates; “Know yourself.”


Exploring our erogenous zones, engaging in sexual arousal, consciously gauging the sexual energy concentrating in our genitalia and flowing throughout the body, and ultimately practicing ‘edging orgasms’ are all means to lasting longer in bed.


‘Edging orgasms’ refers to getting to the threshold of having a full body orgasm but without passing over to the point of spasm and ejaculation.


A practical approach to edging orgasms is by exercising ‘sensate focus’, or focusing attention on the changing intensity of sexual neuromuscular euphoria and consciously controlling sexual stimulation.

In essence, ‘sensate focus’ is akin to ‘mindfulness’ with which we can develop the ability to exercise greater discipline of our sexual stimuli and responses.


An ideal means to practice lasting longer in bed is to practice ‘mindful masturbation’ or holistically exploring our erogenous zones and acknowledging what feels good or not.


This level of self-knowledge can make us better communicators and have more fulfilling partnered sex.


Our focus is not on rushing to orgasm but instead on generating and sustaining different levels of sexual pleasure.


Joel Flynn – Gentleman Zone

Joel Flynn

Sex is pretty much like any other physical activity. You get better at it when training. To get the best of you, train your pelvic floor muscles.


Exercises called kegels or kegel are series of different contraction and release sequences that ultimately and literally train and increase your sexual strength and ejaculation control.


Of course, going ahead with more complex sports, such as swimming, hugely benefits durability and stamina, too.


How long do kegels need to kick in, you’d ask? In my opinion, you should aim for at least a month.


Carmel Jones – The Big Fling

Carmel Jones

While there are products that men can try to last longer in bed, I have found that more organic techniques are the most effective.


Lasting longer is a mental challenge just as much as it is a physical challenge. That’s why I often don’t recommend techniques that require too much thought as it might take away from the pleasure of sex itself.


Men will read about edging or the squeeze technique. While those work, they are also very specific. Here are two of the easiest ways to last longer in bed:

Increase the amount of foreplay: Lasting longer in bed doesn’t have to mean just penetrative sex. “In bed” can refer to the sexual experience as a whole.


Increasing the amount of time you dedicate to foreplay or teasing your partner’s pleasure zones before penetrating will make their sexual experience last longer.


While it doesn’t technically keep you from ejaculating sooner, it lengthens the amount of time your partner receives pleasure before you ejaculate.

Masturbate before sex: Masturbating before sex is an easy thing you can do to help yourself last longer; however, it works better for older men. This is because men have a refractory period after they orgasm.


The younger the man, the shorter the period. It can range anywhere from 20 minutes to several hours. On average, it’s about 45 minutes to an hour.


So, if you masturbate less than an hour before you have sex, you will last longer in bed as your body will still be in that refractory period.


Rose Collette Aston – London Tantric

Rose Collette Aston

If you want to last longer in bed, you need to harness your sexual energy. That’s not easy if you haven’t been taught how to listen to your body.


You must develop a greater awareness of the physical and mental triggers that lead you to orgasm — the only way to learn about these is by paying close attention to the things that stimulate your body and mind when you’re experiencing genuine intimacy.


Only then will you be able to gain greater control of your unconscious urges.

Through tantric massage, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how your body responds to erotic, intensely pleasurable triggers.


With the help of a professional masseuse — preferably a qualified massage therapist trained in the ancient art of tantra — you’ll be taught how to channel your sexual energies.


This can help you access incredible, other-worldly pleasures without finishing before your partner.

By making yourself more aware of what turns you on, you’ll acquire greater control of your body and mind to have sex for longer.


The most important thing is that you still experience sensual pleasure that can be enjoyed long before a final, blissful release.


Lacie Mae Gabor

Lacie Mae Gabor

Staying power in bed is a struggle for many men. The good news is there are several things men can do to help themselves last longer.


One of the easiest ways is to purchase thicker condoms which decrease sensitivity.


Waiting until your partner is begging for sex before inserting yourself is key.


The woman will be close to achieving an orgasm due to her high level of arousal and you will (hopefully) be able to last long enough during penetration to ensure she achieves an orgasm.


Less stimulating foreplay and sexual positions will also help. If you know you’re easily aroused, then spend the majority of your foreplay pleasuring your partner.


Change things up before you get too turned on. Turn the attention back to her and make sure she’s turned on since women typically require more foreplay.


Finally, working on your mind game is essential. Men who are able to distract themselves with other thoughts and decrease their arousal, are able to last longer.


So, the next time you’re about to have sex and want to make sure you can go the distance, try implementing some of the above strategies!


Paul J Hunter – Cork Hypnosis Clinic

Paul J Hunter

The number one tip I would have for guys to help them last longer in bed is to improve their level of self love and self esteem.


Sex can become like a judgement to a lot of guys if they wonder if are they good enough or do they measure up to their partners last partner.


We are constantly unconsciously looking for signs that our partner is enjoying it.


The moment a guy spots a reaction that’s less that might be expected, if he has a self esteem problem, he can self criticize and negatively impact his performance.


Confidence and self belief are key to good sexual performance.


Robert Thomas – Sextopedia

Robert Thomas

The more pressure you put on yourself to perform well in bed, the sooner you will actually ejaculate. Being anxious about lasting long is precisely what will make you orgasm quicker.


So, going into sex with a relaxed and confident mindset will surely have an impact on your performance in bed.


You can also try edging – stopping physical stimulus to your penis just as you’re about to orgasm.


While masturbating, be very aware of how close to orgasm you are, and stop right before you’re reaching an orgasm. Let your arousal go down for about 10 seconds, and then start masturbating again.


Do this several times during your masturbation session. You can transfer this to actual sex by stopping when you think you’re about to reach an orgasm.


Instead, try giving oral sex to your partner, or simply switch up positions. This will surely be a game changer for you to last longer in bed!


Thank you to all the experts that have contributed to this expert roundup! If you enjoyed reading this post then please share it with your friends and followers on social media.


About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Doggy Style: Traditional vs New Ways

Doggy Style: Traditional vs New Ways


If you’re one of the couples who love perfecting every position in sex to make the most of it, when was the last time you both enjoyed a classic doggy style? If it’s been a while, you should definitely reconsider it, yet with a twist. 

Traditional doggy style is one of the positions in sex that provides both men and women with great pleasure. The reason for it is that doggy-style sex will give you the deepest penetration, and is also quite easy to reach the G-spot with it. Besides the pleasure, doggy style is also a great way to switch from that boring missionary pose. And, if you thought that doggy-style sex comes only in the traditional, on-all-fours way, you are sooooo wrong!


Traditional Doggy Style

After the missionary position, the doggy style is one of the most popular sex positions for the majority of couples. Some start their sex with it, while others turn to it to have a spectacular orgasm. Whatever your preferences are, doggy style is something that deserves more creativity than we normally give it.

So, what is a classic doggy style? As you probably know, it’s a sex position where one person is on all four and the other one is penetrating from behind. Doggy style is your go-to position no matter which type of sex you prefer – vaginal or anal. yet, if you’re already tired of the classic version, it’s completely understandable. Nobody likes routine in bed, so take a look at new ways to flavour your favorite position.


Outside-The-Bedroom Doggy Style

We all tend to imagine doggy style on the bed, one person on all fours and the other one behind, right? Well, only if you want it that way! You can also try it in the shower, on a staircase, kitchen counter, dryer or anywhere else you desire. Just make sure you and your partner have privacy and you can enjoy the position in any way you like, and you’ll be more than fine. 

So, if you’re doggy-style sex has turned into a boring routine, just get off the bed and find the alternative solution. Today, it can be in the house, and tomorrow you can even try it in your car, backyard, or go for more public spaces – if that’s your thing. 


The Pillow Trick

This is not a new doggy-style pose, yet it sure will bring you so much pleasure that it will become your favorite thing to do during sex. Put a few wedge or firm pillows under your belly once you are on all fours. This will increase external pressure on your abdomen and pelvis providing you with incredible sensations during sex. Make sure you keep your hips as high as possible while resting your head and arms on the bed if you’d like an incredible orgasm as well. 


In Front of the Mirror

Although many women will say that doggy pose doesn’t make them feel sexy, men will actually say quite the opposite. To change your mind about it and allow yourself to enjoy the doggy-style sex, why don’t you try it in front of the mirror? Make eye contact with your partner while doing it, explore how the position looks from other angles and simply admire your bodies in action!


The Anal Game

Have you tried anal sex before? If you’re into it, the doggy style is the easiest way to switch from vaginal to anal sex. You don’t have to change positions, yet always make sure to switch the condom to avoid any type of infection. Also, if it’s your first time trying anal sex, use a sufficient amount of lube and take it slow. Doing it at your own pace will result in excitement you will definitely want to repeat. 


Don’t Skip the Foreplay

If you’re really into the doggy style, why don’t your entire sex be in that one position? Start with nice foreplay where you and your partner will heat things up and prepare yourselves for doggy-style sex. Don’t skip this step and just jump into the position as doggy style can get pretty intense and it might be unpleasant or even painful if you’re not properly prepared. If you need a little bit of encouragement, prepare a lubricant and spend around 5 to 10 minutes touching erogenous zones to make the experience even more exciting. 


Make it Enjoyable

You are probably already enjoying doggy style, yet you can always enjoy it a little bit more, right? Do it somewhere where you haven’t done it before, use a prop such as a rope to tie your hands together, play with your fingers before and during sex, use lube as a foreplay prop, etc. The options are really limitless, yet there’s one rule – you need to enjoy it. Every position is an excellent sex experience only if both of you are enjoying it. 

For those who are having the doggy style for the first time, you should also practice deep breathing. Not only will it calm you down and relax your body, yet it will also turn the penetration into an enjoyable moment. Feeling awkward or in pain at the start of the intercourse is a bad start. The pleasure will not solely appear once your partner has penetrated, you will need to learn how to relax and surrender yourself to it.


A Final Word or Two…

It’s perfectly normal for you to not like this position. We all have different tastes and we like different things in life, so it’s only natural that we aren’t all into the same sex things. yet, it’s one thing not to love doing it doggy style because you cannot get an orgasm from it or it’s not exciting for you, and completely another if you’re curious to explore it, yet something is preventing you from giving it a try.

Don’t take it too seriously. You have every right to explore your sexual creativity, get to know your partner through sex and discover some new things about you along the way! 


Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

Women on Penis Size



About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do


Yoga For Better Sex & Satisfaction

Yoga For Better Sex & Satisfaction


We know that yoga is popular, and yoga for better sex is a topic that is often asked about. 

This blog will help you understand the ways in which body postures can help pleasure outcomes.

Put yoga into your schedule daily, or else you won’t see progress.

Similarly, when you have a ritual… it’s more likely to stick with it! 

Begin to follow the poses so you can have yoga and get your desired result of better sex! Similarly, if you have been waiting for your partner(s) to start practicing with you, this may be something that motivates them. 


  1. Stretches entire body – including hands and feet
  2. Lengthens spine 
  3. Works the thigh muscles

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Tones your core
  2. Lengthens the spine and back muscles
  3. Full-body engagement

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Increases blood flow through the body
  2. Strengthens butt, thighs, and some core
  3. Stretches upper body

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Lengthen spine
  2. Engages pelvis and blood flow which promotes orgasm
  3. Engages belly breathing for better oxygen intake

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Blood flow to pelvic region
  2. Allows for relaxation

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Opens hips and works the inner thighs
  2. Releases tension in the upper body

Yoga For Better Sex


  1. Hips thrusting in the air to work on strength
  2. Helps with core strength for stamina

Yoga For Better Sex

These are some common poses that are practiced to increase blood flow and strength. Similarly, yoga for better sex is one of the main reasons that people have told me they started going to class to begin with! 

Whatever your reason for practicing yoga, recognize that there are benefits beyond the poses! 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

anal orgasm

How To Have An Anal Orgasm

How To Have An Anal Orgasm


If you’ve only ever seen an anal orgasm in a movie or in porn, you may think that the only way to have one is penetrative anal sex.

If anal sex is intimidating to you or you just don’t like it, you’ll be happy to know that there are many ways to have an anal orgasm!


First Thing’s First: Keep It Clean!

Personal hygiene is always important, and feeling clean before getting dirty can help you focus on your anal orgasm. You don’t want to be distracted because you’re worrying about cleanliness!

It may surprise you, however your butt is likely as clean as the rest of your body, so be as clean as is comfortable for you and your partner.

A baby wipe is a fast way to refresh your anal area quickly, and you can keep an individually wrapped one in your pocket or purse.

Hair is a reality of being a mammal, and we all have different amounts of hair on our buttocks, cracks and around the anus. Unwanted hair can be (carefully) shaved, waxed or plucked, though it can take some manoeuvring  if you’re taking the DIY route.

There’s also a common misconception that if you are wanting to engage in anal play of any kind you need to avoid eating certain foods or use an enema. There is usually very little fecal matter in the rectum as it is usually stored in the colon. If you’ve have a bowel movement the day of sex, you’re probably just fine. If you’d like, you can irrigate the rectum with a home enema kit. Again, it is up to you and your partner to decide what level of cleanliness you’re both comfortable with.

If certain foods upset your stomach, simply try to avoid them if you anticipate any anal action.


Get Comfortable

Having any kind of orgasm, including an anal orgasm, requires a level of comfort and arousal. As you know, that can be easier said than done, especially if you’re going into new territory!

Despite what porn might make you believe, anal orgasms can happen through gentle, sensual stimulation as well as from more aggressive penetration- it is all about personal preference and learning what you like. This means communication before the fact about no-go zones, and continuous


So…How Do I Have An Anal Orgasm?!

Half the battle of achieving an anal orgasm is the willingness to experiment and find out what you like! There are so many different ways to play with the anal area, so read ahead and see what might be appealing to you and your sexual partner or partners.


External vs Internal Stimulation…or Both!

People achieve any kind of orgasm differently, and having an anal orgasm is no exception. There are so many options available for your level of comfort and what you find pleasurable. You may find that you have an anal orgasm through penetration, or maybe you require purely external stimulation. Maybe you need both. Try some things out and have some fun!


Non-Penetrative Options

You don’t have to have any penetration at all to potentially enjoy an anal orgasm. You can achieve orgasm with these activities:

  •   Rimming: Basically, oral sex for your ass. Your partner can lick you as gently or firmly as you desire, or even stick their tongue into your anus to stimulate those sensitive nerve endings. Just make sure the area is clean to their level of comfort, and that they do not perform oral on your genitals or kiss afterwards without using antibacterial mouthwash first.
  •   Toys: vibrating toys are a LOT of fun and a great way to ease into anal stimulation if both parties are feeling uncertain. A simple bullet vibe will work ONLY if you don’t use it for penetration. If you think you might be open to having the toy go in, even a little bit, find a toy with a flared base. Riding crops and feathers can be used to tease the area or for spankings without venturing directly to the anus, rather focusing on the buttocks.


Penetrative Options

Did you know people with vaginas have A-spots? And you can stimulate the G-spot anally? It’s true! Ever heard of the P-spot? That P stands for prostate, and people assigned male at birth have them. All of these specific spots can be stimulated through penetration with toys, fingers, or anything you want to put in there.

Remember, if you are engaging in penetrative anal play, you need to try and relax the sphincter of your anus. So the experience is more enjoyable. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and lots of communication!



  •   Known medically as the prostate
  •   People assigned male at birth have a prostate
  •   Located 2 inches into the rectum, on the front wall
  •   The prostate will feel like a small, firm bulb. It will feel distinctly different than the rest of the area.
  •   BONUS: you can actually stimulate the prostate indirectly by stimulating the perineum, or the taint.
  •   Make sure you use toys with a flared base to avoid losing them inside the rectum.
  •   Always wash your hands after anal play before touching other genitals or your face/eyes/mouth.



  •   The anterior fornix or a-spot is 5-6 inches deep into the vagina.
  •   Feels similar to the G-spot to the touch but deeper
  •   People assigned female at birth have an anterior fornix
  •   The A-spot can be stimulated from penetrating the rectum
  •   BONUS: The g-spot can be stimulated from the rectum, too! Think of it like finding the “back” side of the g-spot; similar location an inch or so inside, just stimulating it from the other side.



  •   Butt plugs: You can purchase these in varying gauges so you can “train” yourself to accommodate larger penetrating objects. Use some lube designed for anal play, and enjoy the feeling of just having something in there. It can be a way to feel out the sensation of something in the area without any bells and whistles or movement. Though a vibrating plug can be a real treat for all parties involved!
  •   Double pronged dildos: For folks with vaginas, a double pronged dildo or vibrator can be a fun way to explore double penetration, stimulating your vagina and rectum simultaneously. Many people find this incredibly pleasurable, and it is likely because of stimulating the A-spot and G-spot from both sides. As always, use lots of lube!


If Its Not Happening…

Not everyone can enjoy an anal orgasm, no matter how comfortable they are. Remember, we are not robots: it isn’t as simple as pressing the right button to get an anal orgasm. Or any orgasm! Even if you don’t achieve a full anal orgasm, anal play can be a fun and pleasurable activity to throw into your sex life for some variety and adventure.


Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

kinky sex



About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

sex in the summer

How to keep cool while having sex in the summer

Recently Canela Lopez, writer at the Insider spoke to five sexologists and sex therapists on how to keep cool while having sex in the summer.

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, International Clinical Sexologist and Life Coaching and Therapy founder was interviewed by Lopez and provided her tips on having comfortable sex in the summer hot weather:

1) Why do some people find it more uncomfortable to have sex in hot weather?

People find it uncomfortable, because they usually are breathing incorrectly to begin with and aren’t hydrated. Therefore, when you add heat, and perspiration, this triggers “turn off” to certain individuals. Specifically those who are sensitive to touch and scents.

2) What awesome steps can couples take to make sex in the summer months more comfortable? 

It’s important to change your sheets weekly. Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by! Always consider keeping lube right on your bedstead, so it is convenient.

If changing your sheets isn’t helping, it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

Those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.

  • Summer heat can put a huge damper on your sex life, especially if you and your partner are sweat-averse.
  • Cranking the A/C unit or central air might be your first instinct to deal with the heat, but positioning a fan above you or having sex on cooler surfaces like shower tile, kitchen counters, and washing machines can also help.
  • Changing your outlook on sweat and body odor can also improve your sex life in the summer.

Sex in the summer can be a sticky disaster if you’re averse to sweat, body odor, and heat.

Though not everyone’s libido takes a hit, the heat can make couples more reluctant to get it on and even make it more difficult to cuddle.

“Vigorous sex can be a cardiovascular workout in and of itself, so sex in hot weather can be as challenging on the body as going for a run, for instance,” Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sexuality educator & author, told Insider. “Lovers may also be more self-conscious about being sweatier, stickier and smellier than normal, including in their groin area. Body ‘farts’ from the wetness may also be a consequence, as bodies rub together, and a humorous distraction.”

Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Buehler told Insider taking a lukewarm shower and patting down with a towel before having sex can help keep you cool while getting down and dirty.

If you have good balance, consider have shower sex.

“They make hand grips and foot shelves to make it possible,” Buehler told Insider. “If you’re both smaller in stature, you can try the tub.”

Running an air-conditioning unit can also help cool you down.

“Speaking from personal experience, if you are able, get solar and run your A/C with abandon,” Buehler told Insider.

But if you’re trying to save money, getting a small fan and positioning it strategically can be a great alternative.

“Position a fan so that it blows on you, as the cooling effect will bring your skin to life in a totally different way, [like] some lovers experiencing harder nipples,” Fulbright said. “Having the fan blow on your bottoms in certain positions [like] doggie style will have you experiencing sex in a noticeably different, but delightfully pleasurable way.”

Between the Sheets

Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and couples therapist and author of “Getting the Sex You Want,” told Insider the types of sheets you use during sex can actually be making you hotter. To avoid any unnecessary sweating, make sure to use pure cotton sheets.

“It’s important to change your sheets weekly,” Amanda Pasciucco, a sexologist and sex therapist based in Hartford, told Insider. “Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by!”

If changing your sheets isn’t helping, Pasciucco said it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

“I realize that those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection,” Pasciucco told Insider. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.”

A lot of the stress that comes with summertime sex comes from the amount of sex and body heat exchanged when getting intimate.

Different sex positions could help limit that contact while keeping things pleasurable.

“Try some positions where your bodies are not directly touching as much like from behind or off the side of the bed,” Dr. Rachel Needle, a psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, told Insider. “The less your bodies touch, the cooler you will be.”

Doggie style, fisting, and ride style positions can all help you get around the heat.

Cold props and toys can offer fun sensations with while helping you and your partner (or partners) cool down.

“Rub ice cubes all over each other’s bodies to cool things off,” Needle said. “You can use cold items like ice creatively to increase pleasure and comfort.”

If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and the bedroom is simply too hot, trying out different surfaces around the house that are cooler to the touch can help.

“Find other places in your home and try new sexual positions, ones where you won’t have as much skin to skin contact,” Nelson told Insider. “For instance, standing up against counters in a kitchen or bathroom or up against washers or dryers in a laundry room. The stainless steel or granite can be cooler against your skin.”

If you live with roommates, make sure to ask before going ahead and disinfect the surface when you’re done.

Enjoy your wonderful, sex-filled summer!


If you aren’t having the best sex of your life, schedule an appointment with Life Coaching and Therapy.


Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position


For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl


Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.


Check out her website!


Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 – 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.


More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 



  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 


Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.

Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex


You’ve either seen it or done it, so you know why doggy style sex is such a popular position.

Doggy style sex has sat near or at the top of the sexual chart for years because it’s a delicious play on dominance and submission.

The greater freedom of movement provides ample opportunity for a killer view from behind and access for the bottom to receive either clitoral stimulation or masturbation of the shaft from the front. 

It isn’t just a “static” position either! There are a bunch of hot variations to play around with when you try this one. 


Doggy Style Sex is Versatile!

Basic Doggy style sex involves one partner on their hands and knees while the other partner enters from behind them. 

You can switch it up a bit by kneeling on the edge of the bed or a couch while your partner stands upright behind you or lay completely flat. 

Doggy Style Sex

Picture (From Getty)

You can angle your back and your butt up sharply, giving your partner different angles, or even control the rhythm yourself while they remain still.

Doggy style is also perfect for people who love anal sex or are just trying it for the first time

In doggy style, it’s easier to focus on penetration solely, instead of having to worry about someone’s body weight on top of you. 

Controlling your breathing and relaxing your muscles comes more naturally in the position.


Tips for the Bottoms in Doggy Style Sex

It’s easy to think that all you have to do is hold tight and keep the position when you’re having doggy style sex. That, however, is far from true! 

While, most of the work can come from the on-top partner, there is still a bunch you can do to make the sex incredible.

Here are some great ways to make doggy more fun for you and a blast for your partner:



Doggy is great for clitoral stimulation or for jerking off the penis because you can access one of your hands for pleasure. 

Since nobody is squashed on top of you, your hands have free access to your genitals! While your partner is having a blast behind you, you can have some fun as you self-pleasure.


Change It Up

The way you angle your back and hips is going to completely alter the angle of penetration.

That will bring with it a bunch of different sensations that are hard to get in other positions. Trust us, your partner will love it too.


Submission as Empowered

Yes, some people like doggy style sex MORE because they enjoy feeling submissive during sex at times. 

However, for many, doggy style sex is a playful way to mix up the routine. Whether you want to lift yourself up by holding on to a bed frame or want your partner to stay still while you control how fast penetration goes in and out, there’s plenty for you to do.


Let Your Partner Know

There’s a lot you can do communication-wise during doggy style sex. You can turn your head to catch your partner’s eye or verbalize what you’d like them to do behind you. 

Let them know how your self-pleasure feels, and sometimes you can ask for a playful spank or hair pull to spice things up.


Now for the Tops – Here’s What to Do in Doggy Style Sex

Doggy Style Sex


When you are the partner in the back, you’re steering the ship. 

You have a bird’s eye view of what’s happening, and, hey, we know how much fun you’re having! 

Here are some hints on what you can do to make doggy style sex more fun for both of you.


Change Positions within the Positions

When you’re in doggy position, mix things up by lifting a leg and planting a foot down. 

With one knee down and one knee up, you’ll have better hip control for thrusting. You can lean into your partner or back away, changing how you’re entering for different sensations.


Move Your Legs Outside of Your Partner’s

Usually, doggy style sex involves the person behind’s legs being positioned on the inside. The partner on their hands and knees spread their legs, so their knees are naturally outside.

However, you can change it up and move your knees outside of your partner’s for a closer, tighter feel. It’s a matter of personal preference, and it is fun to try out! . 


Try a Bit of Consensual D/s Play

Be careful here, because not everyone is into submissive-dominant sex play.

You have to ask for enthusiastic consent.

If it isn’t a hell yes, assume it is a no! 

-Amanda Pasciucco

Experiment with some hair tugging, light back-scratching, spanking, and other forms of rough play to make things super hot.


Hands on the Hips or Shoulders

When you’re behind your partner, place both hands around their hips and pull them back into you as you thrust for deeper penetration.

If you can (some women topping with strap-ons report that they cannot), reach for the shoulders of the person who is bottoming. That will give you leverage. 


Clitoral Stimulation or Manual Masturbation

If your partner is willing to let you try, reach around and help them out with some genital stimulation. I personally believe it is best to let the bottom do this because it is a lot of coordination. However, if you can and they want you to try, go for it!


Other Fun Ideas for Doggy Style Sex


Now you have the basics and hopefully some ideas to play with for your next round of doggy. 

There’s still a lot more you can do with the position to keep exploring each other sexually.


For the partner in the front, try putting one or two pillows under your hips and stomach. You can lay down on them and your partner will still get a great angle from behind. 

They can grab onto the pillows and pull them close during each thrust without yanking you around too hard.


If you’re open to it, introduce some light BDSM with some handcuffs and let your partner take full charge of doggy style sex. 

Keep in mind that whenever you start with BDSM, you need to be clear about boundaries, so everyone feels comfortable. Again, if it isn’t a hell yes, assume a no! 


Doggy style sex has become incredibly popular, so much so that there are even names for varying positions within the doggy style position. 

When you have some time, explore more about what you can do with doggy style sex to make sexual intercourse hotter with lots of incredible pleasure!


You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.