sex in the summer

How to keep cool while having sex in the summer

Recently Canela Lopez, writer at the Insider spoke to five sexologists and sex therapists on how to keep cool while having sex in the summer.

Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, International Clinical Sexologist and Life Coaching and Therapy founder was interviewed by Lopez and provided her tips on having comfortable sex in the summer hot weather:

1) Why do some people find it more uncomfortable to have sex in hot weather?

People find it uncomfortable, because they usually are breathing incorrectly to begin with and aren’t hydrated. Therefore, when you add heat, and perspiration, this triggers “turn off” to certain individuals. Specifically those who are sensitive to touch and scents.

2) What awesome steps can couples take to make sex in the summer months more comfortable? 

It’s important to change your sheets weekly. Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by! Always consider keeping lube right on your bedstead, so it is convenient.

If changing your sheets isn't helping, it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

Those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.

  • Summer heat can put a huge damper on your sex life, especially if you and your partner are sweat-averse.
  • Cranking the A/C unit or central air might be your first instinct to deal with the heat, but positioning a fan above you or having sex on cooler surfaces like shower tile, kitchen counters, and washing machines can also help.
  • Changing your outlook on sweat and body odor can also improve your sex life in the summer.

Sex in the summer can be a sticky disaster if you're averse to sweat, body odor, and heat.

Though not everyone's libido takes a hit, the heat can make couples more reluctant to get it on and even make it more difficult to cuddle.

"Vigorous sex can be a cardiovascular workout in and of itself, so sex in hot weather can be as challenging on the body as going for a run, for instance," Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sexuality educator & author, told Insider. "Lovers may also be more self-conscious about being sweatier, stickier and smellier than normal, including in their groin area. Body 'farts' from the wetness may also be a consequence, as bodies rub together, and a humorous distraction."

Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Buehler told Insider taking a lukewarm shower and patting down with a towel before having sex can help keep you cool while getting down and dirty.

If you have good balance, consider have shower sex.

"They make hand grips and foot shelves to make it possible," Buehler told Insider. "If you're both smaller in stature, you can try the tub."

Running an air-conditioning unit can also help cool you down.

"Speaking from personal experience, if you are able, get solar and run your A/C with abandon," Buehler told Insider.

But if you're trying to save money, getting a small fan and positioning it strategically can be a great alternative.

"Position a fan so that it blows on you, as the cooling effect will bring your skin to life in a totally different way, [like] some lovers experiencing harder nipples," Fulbright said. "Having the fan blow on your bottoms in certain positions [like] doggie style will have you experiencing sex in a noticeably different, but delightfully pleasurable way."

Between the Sheets

Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and couples therapist and author of "Getting the Sex You Want," told Insider the types of sheets you use during sex can actually be making you hotter. To avoid any unnecessary sweating, make sure to use pure cotton sheets.

"It's important to change your sheets weekly," Amanda Pasciucco, a sexologist and sex therapist based in Hartford, told Insider. "Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by!"

If changing your sheets isn't helping, Pasciucco said it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.

"I realize that those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection," Pasciucco told Insider. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple."

A lot of the stress that comes with summertime sex comes from the amount of sex and body heat exchanged when getting intimate.

Different sex positions could help limit that contact while keeping things pleasurable.

"Try some positions where your bodies are not directly touching as much like from behind or off the side of the bed," Dr. Rachel Needle, a psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, told Insider. "The less your bodies touch, the cooler you will be."

Doggie style, fisting, and ride style positions can all help you get around the heat.

Cold props and toys can offer fun sensations with while helping you and your partner (or partners) cool down.

"Rub ice cubes all over each other's bodies to cool things off," Needle said. "You can use cold items like ice creatively to increase pleasure and comfort."

If you're feeling particularly adventurous and the bedroom is simply too hot, trying out different surfaces around the house that are cooler to the touch can help.

"Find other places in your home and try new sexual positions, ones where you won't have as much skin to skin contact," Nelson told Insider. "For instance, standing up against counters in a kitchen or bathroom or up against washers or dryers in a laundry room. The stainless steel or granite can be cooler against your skin."

If you live with roommates, make sure to ask before going ahead and disinfect the surface when you're done.

Enjoy your wonderful, sex-filled summer!

 

If you aren't having the best sex of your life, schedule an appointment with Life Coaching and Therapy.

 


Reverse Cowgirl

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

Explore the Reverse Cowgirl Position

 

For all of you adventurers out there, it’s time to explore the reverse cowgirl position!

Who says you need to ride bareback when you can ride reverse cowgirl?

The feedback on this position is very polarized.

Some people love this position and others hate it.

If you WANT to be better at Reverse Cowgirl, the following article is a collaboration between a Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Personal Trainer!

reverse cowgirl

 

Pascale Lean is a certified Personal Trainer,

Health Coach, Weight Management,

Behavior Change and Functional Training Specialist.

 

Check out her website!

 

Get your quads ready! The Reverse Cowgirl position can be strenuous on your quads, so it’s a good idea to stretch beforehand.

Fitness Tips for the Person on Top:

  • Improve your flexibility with stretching! 
    • Lay on your stomach, then bend your right leg. Grab your right foot with your right hand, and slightly pull your foot towards your butt. Hold for 30 - 60 seconds, then switch sides. 
    • We recommend asking your partner to give you a back massage while stretching.
  • Strengthen your core and lower body muscles for better endurance. 
    • Bodyweight exercises like squats, walking lunges and hip bridges are most effective. 
    • Start with three sets of 12 reps every other day.

 

More Tips: 

  • Some people indicate that reverse cowgirl is nice for intimately connecting during penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
  • Focus on the connection, especially if the partners are both seated upright, looking at something visually pleasing together. 
  • The one on the bottom of the reverse cowgirl needs to help the one on top! It takes some coordination.
  • Make sure you have a good rhythm going.
  • Don’t be hesitant to discuss if it isn’t working mid position. 

 

Benefits:

  • Despite the gendered name, reverse cowgirl can be used between same sex couples.
  • It provides a fun and unique view! 
  • Clear communication is needed between the partners to improve the pleasure benefits of the position. 
  • When in the rhythm, the position can sometimes allow for the partner on top to self-pleasure with one hand. Opening up access to the clitoris allows for the possibility of manual stimulation. 
  • Many women who are pregnant report that this is an accessible position for their bellies. 

Now go try the Reverse Cowgirl sex position!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.


Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

Behind the Scenes with Doggy Style Sex

 

You’ve either seen it or done it, so you know why doggy style sex is such a popular position.

Doggy style sex has sat near or at the top of the sexual chart for years because it’s a delicious play on dominance and submission.

The greater freedom of movement provides ample opportunity for a killer view from behind and access for the bottom to receive either clitoral stimulation or masturbation of the shaft from the front. 

It isn’t just a “static” position either! There are a bunch of hot variations to play around with when you try this one. 

 

Doggy Style Sex is Versatile!

Basic Doggy style sex involves one partner on their hands and knees while the other partner enters from behind them. 

You can switch it up a bit by kneeling on the edge of the bed or a couch while your partner stands upright behind you or lay completely flat. 

Doggy Style Sex
Picture (From Getty)

You can angle your back and your butt up sharply, giving your partner different angles, or even control the rhythm yourself while they remain still.

Doggy style is also perfect for people who love anal sex or are just trying it for the first time

In doggy style, it’s easier to focus on penetration solely, instead of having to worry about someone’s body weight on top of you. 

Controlling your breathing and relaxing your muscles comes more naturally in the position.

 

Tips for the Bottoms in Doggy Style Sex

It’s easy to think that all you have to do is hold tight and keep the position when you’re having doggy style sex. That, however, is far from true! 

While, most of the work can come from the on-top partner, there is still a bunch you can do to make the sex incredible.

Here are some great ways to make doggy more fun for you and a blast for your partner:

 

Self-Stimulation

Doggy is great for clitoral stimulation or for jerking off the penis because you can access one of your hands for pleasure. 

Since nobody is squashed on top of you, your hands have free access to your genitals! While your partner is having a blast behind you, you can have some fun as you self-pleasure.

 

Change It Up

The way you angle your back and hips is going to completely alter the angle of penetration.

That will bring with it a bunch of different sensations that are hard to get in other positions. Trust us, your partner will love it too.

 

Submission as Empowered

Yes, some people like doggy style sex MORE because they enjoy feeling submissive during sex at times. 

However, for many, doggy style sex is a playful way to mix up the routine. Whether you want to lift yourself up by holding on to a bed frame or want your partner to stay still while you control how fast penetration goes in and out, there’s plenty for you to do.

 

Let Your Partner Know

There’s a lot you can do communication-wise during doggy style sex. You can turn your head to catch your partner’s eye or verbalize what you’d like them to do behind you. 

Let them know how your self-pleasure feels, and sometimes you can ask for a playful spank or hair pull to spice things up.

 

Now for the Tops – Here’s What to Do in Doggy Style Sex

Doggy Style Sex
Artist: EMILY SCHIFF-SLATER

When you are the partner in the back, you’re steering the ship. 

You have a bird’s eye view of what’s happening, and, hey, we know how much fun you’re having! 

Here are some hints on what you can do to make doggy style sex more fun for both of you.

 

Change Positions within the Positions

When you’re in doggy position, mix things up by lifting a leg and planting a foot down. 

With one knee down and one knee up, you’ll have better hip control for thrusting. You can lean into your partner or back away, changing how you’re entering for different sensations.

 

Move Your Legs Outside of Your Partner’s

Usually, doggy style sex involves the person behind’s legs being positioned on the inside. The partner on their hands and knees spread their legs, so their knees are naturally outside.

However, you can change it up and move your knees outside of your partner’s for a closer, tighter feel. It’s a matter of personal preference, and it is fun to try out! . 

 

Try a Bit of Consensual D/s Play

Be careful here, because not everyone is into submissive-dominant sex play.

You have to ask for enthusiastic consent.

If it isn’t a hell yes, assume it is a no! 

-Amanda Pasciucco

Experiment with some hair tugging, light back-scratching, spanking, and other forms of rough play to make things super hot.

 

Hands on the Hips or Shoulders

When you’re behind your partner, place both hands around their hips and pull them back into you as you thrust for deeper penetration.

If you can (some women topping with strap-ons report that they cannot), reach for the shoulders of the person who is bottoming. That will give you leverage. 

 

Clitoral Stimulation or Manual Masturbation

If your partner is willing to let you try, reach around and help them out with some genital stimulation. I personally believe it is best to let the bottom do this because it is a lot of coordination. However, if you can and they want you to try, go for it!

 

Other Fun Ideas for Doggy Style Sex

 

Now you have the basics and hopefully some ideas to play with for your next round of doggy. 

There’s still a lot more you can do with the position to keep exploring each other sexually.

 

For the partner in the front, try putting one or two pillows under your hips and stomach. You can lay down on them and your partner will still get a great angle from behind. 

They can grab onto the pillows and pull them close during each thrust without yanking you around too hard.

 

If you’re open to it, introduce some light BDSM with some handcuffs and let your partner take full charge of doggy style sex. 

Keep in mind that whenever you start with BDSM, you need to be clear about boundaries, so everyone feels comfortable. Again, if it isn’t a hell yes, assume a no! 

 

Doggy style sex has become incredibly popular, so much so that there are even names for varying positions within the doggy style position. 

When you have some time, explore more about what you can do with doggy style sex to make sexual intercourse hotter with lots of incredible pleasure!

 

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel - The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Amanda Pasciucco Signature

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.