TAKE A BDSM TEST! BDSM for Couples!

 

Have you ever taken a BDSM Test? 

I often compare sex to restaurant menu options. 

How boring would it be for some of you to go to a restaurant with only three or four items on the menu? 

Even if they all tasted excellent, eventually you may get tired of going there. 

Even the best meal can lose its luster if eaten too often.

What you want out of restaurants is options usually, especially if you’re going with someone else. 

There needs to be enough on the menu to offer enough choice for both of you without being overwhelming. The best restaurant owners and chefs obsess over their menus, trying to find the best mix of dishes to suit their clientele.

The same can be said of sex. 

One of the biggest issues couples deal with is when sex gets a bit dull. 

You use the same positions and even have sex on the same one or two days of the week. 

If either of you tries to add something to the “menu,” it feels awkward, like it’s not part of the scheduled programming.

What you need to consider is to open up the menu and to find something new that excites you. 

A BDSM test entices your sexuality into a new realm of feeling and being. 

That’s where BDSM for couples comes in.

 

Entering the World of BDSM for Couples

Experimenting with BDSM is like going to an infinite smorgasbord, where there are limitless options and you can choose what you put on your plate. The food is the different roleplays, props, positions, and other sexual dynamics.

Your kink is your appetite, it’s what decides what you are hungry for and what foods will fill you up.

One of my greatest joys as a sex therapist is helping people embrace their kink – especially after taking a BDSM test.

There are many negative connotations around the word “kink” that go back to puritan roots where thinking or talking about sex, or even feeling sexual were somehow mislabeled as wrong.

Recognizing your kink and using BDSM with your partners is the fastest way to more enjoyable, exciting sex that you can spend a lifetime exploring.

You might be into edgeplay, some sort of fetish, cuckolding, impact play, bondage, or queening. BDSM is a magical world where you get to break into a new understanding of what sex is emotionally and physically.

 

Some Things to Try!

BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) outlines only the foundation of kinky sex. Under the BDSM umbrella you can find a vast spectrum of sexual interests and behavior. Even if you feel like you already know what your kink is, toying with other aspects of BDSM can be incredibly fun and sexually rewarding! Here are some things to try.

 

Zentai Suits:

Japanese sexual culture is heavy into the BDSM scene. Zentai is a skintight bodysuit made from nylon or spandex that covers your whole body. People use it because they love the tight feel of the material around them and the fact that it delays sexual gratification. After all, it makes movement and sensations more restricted.

 

Edgeplay:

Edgeplay refers to some of the kinkier sex out there. Everyone’s idea of edgeplay will be different because their risk tolerance varies. For some people it may mean dripping hot wax on nipples or bare stomachs. Others even bring knife play into the bedroom. Choking is also common in BDSM for couples. The main thing you want to do with edgeplay is take it slowly and make sure you’re doing it with someone cautious and knows what they’re doing.

Tied Up Sex

 

Shibari:

This refers to the Japanese erotic art of knot tying. Partners use a system of intricate knots and positions to play out dominant and submissive sexual fantasies. The great thing about Shibari is that, as you explore this type of sex play, you can learn new knots and methods to level up as you go.

 

Orgasm Denial:

Used to control a partner’s sexual anticipation, orgasm denial offers incredible sexual buildup. If you’ve ever delayed an orgasm purposely, you know that when you do finally climax, it’s more intense and lasts longer. This is typically referred to as edging, not to be confused with edgeplay. Taken further, edging to become complete orgasm denial, where the dominant partner gets to decide when, where, and how the submissive gets to experience climax. This can get extremely hot the longer it goes as anticipation builds and builds.

 

Painslut:

Some people want sex to hurt, and some people want to hurt their partners. As with any other type of sexual encounter, consent here is very important. However, if it’s your kink, it’s your kink, and hopefully, you’ll find someone willing and capable of making the spanking, hair pulling, stepping, or whatever you’re into work!

 

Before You Begin BDSM for Couples

You, and whoever you’re having sex with, need to make sure you set boundaries before engaging in any sort of kink. The goal is to make sure both of you feel comfortable with what’s happening and can communicate when it’s ok to proceed, and also when either of you feel uncomfortable. Giving and acknowledging consent should drive everything you do together.

Additionally, aftercare is a huge part of BDSM for couples. As you push the envelope with sex, you’ll likely experience new sensations and emotions. Those often take time to process.

Imagine being spanked for the first time and feeling pain during sex. While exhilarating, you and your partner should spend some time cuddling and reaffirming each other after sex is over to re-center. It also is a way you and your partner can validate each other in your kink.

Sometimes we feel apprehensive about expressing our innermost sexual identity for fear of judgment or rejection. Some hugging and reassuring kisses go a long way in communicating acceptance.

Don’t wait any longer to embrace your kink! There’s so much out there waiting for you in the sexual world. We’re all wonderful sexual beings full of potential. As you experiment with BDSM and power dynamics in sex, you’ll learn more about yourself, experience more pleasure, and have some amazing sex!

You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer

If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it. 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

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