Hopefully, as you age, you learn more about your body and what makes it tick – including a great sex playlist.
I meet often with clients who struggled through adolescence and early adulthood trying to understand touch and stimulation. It seems everyone understands the language of music though!
For my clients, thankfully, as their confidence and experience grew, they became more comfortable with intimacy. That helped them overcome roadblocks to amazing orgasms and close connections with themselves and their partner(s).
Whatever stage you’re in along the path of sexual growth is where you’re supposed to be.
Fighting your body and giving in to negative emotions is only going to make things more difficult.
Acceptance is the only way to free yourself and your body to become a sexual being!
I try to communicate to clients that incredible sex is possible… and sometimes we need music to help us get there!
We created a sex playlist on Spotify that you can check out here!
Why Use A Sex Playlist?
Getting there is about more than just deciding you’ll “do better” or “try harder”.
A lot of people find success progressing along the stages of sexual expression with the help of music. The right songs can bring out your inner sexual being and trigger the right emotions for the kind of sex you want.
Remember, not all sex is the same. It can be angry, joyous, playful, dominating, submissive, and so much more. Here’s a playlist and how it correlates to the sexual stages to help you learn more about how music can stimulate the kind of sex you’re looking for.
Vital Sex – The Primal Stage – (“Freak Like Me” by NoMBe)
Sex is part of being human. On a genetic level, we all have an innate drive to mate, it’s part of who we are. Sure, there are some a-sexual outliers, and that’s fine if it’s truly who you are. For the most part, humans need to have sex to get the kind of connection and physical expression that makes life real.
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you know what we’re talking about. Sometimes you need to have sex just to have sex. That’s great! The same goes for single people who for whatever reason feel the urge to get off no matter who it’s with or what the circumstances are. Sex is a vital part of being you.
The song’s a great choice for vital sex because it does a great job of blocking everything else out. You’re there to fulfill your own sexual needs and get the job done.
Personality Sexing – Romantic Codependence – (“Orange Sky”– Alexi Murdoch)
Most people seek relationships because being alone can suck. Codependence with the right person can be a wonderful thing. A lot of people use sex as a form of romantic codependence. We use sex to express love and feel another person’s acceptance of us. This helps us feel love for ourselves.
That’s important for people who struggle with self-acceptance. It is, though, important to not rely too much on personality sexing. The wrong person can use codependence against you to manipulate your emotions.
“Orange Sky” is a great song that evokes a strong emotion of love and gratitude. The line, “my salvation lies in your love” is repeated over and over. It can create a special moment between you and your lover.
Pleasure Sexing – Liberated Sex – (“Wicked Games” – The Weeknd)
This is a liberated sexual expression. You’re comfortable with your body and what makes it feel amazing. You crave orgasm and know how to get there. It’s fun, it’s hot, it’s intense, and it’s about you.
Getting to this stage takes a bit of work, and it’s often where most people peak on their sexual journey.
That’s not a negative thing.
Many people work their whole lives to get here, to give themselves permission to soak into their body and steer sex in the direction they want it to go.
“Wicked Games” is a sultry, sexy song about lovemaking. It tosses away any notion of romantic sex and dives straight into the heat you’re craving.
Sex as Guide and Guided – Dominance and Submission – (“One Last Night” – Vaults)
If you haven’t come to grips with your sexuality, this step is going to be difficult. It involves either taking charge of someone else’s sexual experience or letting them guide you. You’re either seizing or ceding control.
That’s hard to do if you don’t yet have control of yourself.
However, guiding and being guided through sex can be an amazing experience. It’s more about your body. Orgasm happens when it happens.
People at this stage learn about the joy of being used, taking turns as the dominant partner, and submitting to sexual pleasure. It can be a ton of fun when toys, some light bondage, and some of the other good stuff get introduced in the bedroom.
“One Last Night” is a song about letting your partner take you where they want you to go. It’s about ceding control over the sexual experience.
Sex as Gods – Transcendent Sex – (“Rise” – Katy Perry)
This stage of sex is fiercely creative. You enter into the sexual experience with full acceptance of yourself and your partner. You take in all of each of your weaknesses and each own your own pleasure. You are equal partners as you transcend the binds of traditional sex.
It’s unrealistic to expect this level of sexual experience all of the time. Remember, sometimes sex will be vital, sometimes it will be liberating. When sex is transcendent, though, it’s an amazing experience you should feel grateful to be part of.
“Rise” by Katy Perry is a great song to make love to. It’s about rising above any negativity to the level you want to be.
Prayer Sex – Conscious and Sacred Sex – [“(I Just) Died in Your Arms” – Hidden Citizens]
This stage of sex is rare AND achievable. It enters into the sacred and involves healing.
Before I even knew what sacred sex was, I tripped into this layer.
I have also heard many clients describe moments where they “transform” and become one with their partner(s) and the world.
Erotic Recess, a workshop where women gather to masturbate and overcome hang-ups about physical appearance, genitals, and orgasm is a great example of prayer sex.
It’s helping people reach a level of sexual acceptance they’ve never been able to achieve. It can HEAL the world. When more people are having great sex there will be fewer problems. Relationships will be happier, and most importantly, you’ll be happier with yourself.
“Died in Your Arms” and the epic music can help it permeate through your soul.
This type of sex playlist reminds us that we are who we are for a reason. Our bodies are exactly the way they’re supposed to be, and sex offers a direct route to true expression.
About Life Coaching and Therapy
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!
Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.