Boring Sex: Is There a Way to Bring It Back to Life? 

 

One of the thrilling aspects of sexuality is having sex, so when you’re faced with a boring sex life, what can you do about it? Sex with a new partner can be exhilarating because of the excitement or new energy it brings to the relationship. What happens if the first spark disappears and intimacy is reduced to repeatedly sharing the same space and doing the same activities? 

Luckily, there are lots of strategies to get your sexual life back on track and rekindle the passion. After all, sex is a crucial factor in relationships. It brings the partners closer and reminds them why they fell in love. To help you feel more intimate with your partner, continue reading this article and find the right way to have a fulfilled sexual life. 

 

Definition of Boring Sex

Yes, it might be challenging to define boring sex; however, we’ll try to describe it the best we can to be able to offer some solutions along the way as well. Boring sex might imply multiple things. Sometimes it means you’re bored with your relationship or sex. 

Occasionally, it may be a sign of more severe concerns with sexual compatibility or deeper problems in your relationship. According to research, there has long been a perception in popular psychology that sexlessness is a sign of relationship issues that extend over time. 

Although everyone has a different idea of what boring sex is, for many, it refers to having uninteresting, unexciting, and disappointing sex. When someone doesn’t have enough physical stimulation or frequent orgasms, they will probably find sex to be dull.

The second concern is what to do about boring sex once you’ve defined it as such. At the beginning of the relationship, we can’t get enough of our partner. We enjoy sex, and everything about it is thrilling. With time, this excitement might start disappearing, and it can seem challenging to recover that spark. 

 

Common Reasons for Boring Sex

Longer-term partnerships usually result in a fall in passion and sexual satisfaction, yet this decline is possible to avoid. Some valid reasons may make you feel sexually incompatible or like there’s no chemistry in the bedroom. The most frequent causes of this decline are time constraints, health issues, or responsibilities to one’s family.

 

Lack of New Things

Anyone can experience boredom in sex, particularly in a committed or long-term relationship. What worked at the beginning doesn’t work anymore. Perhaps you yearn to relive the vitality of a newly formed relationship or the intense love of ancient times. Try something new. 

Before making changes, discuss them with your partner. Sharing your feelings with your partner may improve things. If you’re uncertain about what new thing to implement, try role-playing, introducing new partners, changing positions, using sexual toys, or having sex in locations or methods that may be unfamiliar to you. If these pique your interest, discuss them with your spouse!

 

Stress

We know that stress and life changes can affect our physical and mental health. You probably already know that stress can affect your sexual life. It may decrease your desire for sex or make orgasms harder. Since stress is frequently inevitable, how can we reduce its impact on our level of arousal, our favored sexual activities, and even how we communicate during sex?

Studies demonstrate the impact of stress and life changes on marital satisfaction. It could entail less time spent together, less successful communication, a higher chance of physical and mental health issues, and a general disengagement from the partnership. This could cause people to revert to familiar or routine sexual behaviors that bore one or both partners.

 

Mental Health 

Anxiety, sadness, or ADHD are examples of mental health issues that might alter a person’s sexual experience. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help couples who are having trouble getting pregnant because of anxiety or sadness.

It is commonly recognized that symptoms impacting sexual life, like decreased desire, arousal, or sexual satisfaction, are associated with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, or even psychosis. These symptoms must unavoidably be appropriately recognized and treated. 

 

How to Improve Your Sex Life

Before implementing any suggestions, make sure you talk to your partner. Even in ideal situations, many couples find it challenging to have a sexual conversation. Feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, and contempt can completely stop a discourse when sexual problems arise. 

Starting a conversation is the first step to a healthier sexual life, as well as a stronger emotional connection, because effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Here are some pointers for dealing with this delicate matter.

 

Schedule Sex

Your hectic schedule can get in the way of having sex, no matter how badly you might want to. Put sexual time in your calendar accordingly; just like you would on other significant occasions, add sexual time to your calendar. You won’t be as inclined to skip it then. 

When you set a date, you have time to prepare and something to look forward to. Schedule sex as often as is practical, whether it’s once a week or every other day. Select moments when you are sure not to be tired or preoccupied.

 

Physical Exercise 

Exercise boosts your mood and increases your stamina in bed. In addition to improving self-esteem and making you feel sexier, exercise tones your physique. The amount of exercise required to enhance your sexual life is unclear. Start with over 2 hours of aerobic exercise or two sets of strength training each week. It can boost your self-esteem and body image, tell your partner.

 

Don’t Rush Into It 

Sex shouldn’t be rushed, no matter how busy you are. Spend enough time in the foreplay. The extra time you spend caressing and kissing each other helps excite your senses and enhances the pleasure of sex. When you slow down, you can spend more time with your partner. 

 

Don’t Forget About the Little Things

Not every romantic meeting needs to result in sexual activity. There are many additional ways you and your companion can have fun. Give each other a passionate massage or bathe together. On the couch, have a passionate make-out session. Masturbate each other until you both experience an orgasm. Teach each other your preferred method of communication.  

Hug each other, share your favorite jokes or childhood memories, or do whatever will make you closer. These things will ultimately improve the quality of your intimacy, including your sex life. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.