Topics to Discuss With Your Boyfriend Before Marriage

 

If you’re planning for the next big step in your relationship, there are certain topics to discuss with your boyfriend before marriage. Marriage and living with someone are the first two big milestones for most relationships. However, we are often so over the moon about spending our lifetime with this one special person that we forget there are certain challenges waiting for us along the way. 

This article will not focus on external events that can happen to couples and married folks. Instead, we’ll talk about the situations you can impact, such as important life decisions you will be taking together. Learning how the other side of the relationship feels about certain topics will allow you to get to know them truly. This way, you will be more confident in taking the next step and knowing you’re doing it with the right person.

 

Kids or No Kids?

For some, having children is the pinnacle of their lives, while for others, it is something they would rather avoid at all costs. The problem is that we often assume that others share our beliefs, especially if we are in love with them. 

Although you still don’t feel ready to have kids, it’s important to discuss it with your partner. You don’t have to put a deadline for having kids, yet it would make sense to know whether you’re both on the same page. Imagine spending five years together to realize your partner never wanted to have kids; for you, it’s becoming a priority. To avoid this, talk openly to your partner. Ask them if they see themselves in the future as parents, how they feel about parenting and anything else you find valuable. 

 

Rent or Buy?

Do you know that most marriages end because of finances? One example of a clear financial situation is defining your goals together.

Do you plan to get married and buy your own place in the near future? Discuss how much you should save monthly or annually to achieve this goal smoothly.

For those without immediate plans, ensure your partner understands your perspective and feelings on the matter.

Being open to their suggestions can help you decide what is best for your current situation. Make sure to consider your options from time to time, as your financial situation may change and your rent may rise.

 

What Are Your Deal Breakers? 

You can live with someone for years without being aware of their deal breakers. Invite your partner for a heart-to-heart conversation and show curiosity for things they don’t like. Avoid being judgemental.

You can even decide to take a few days to think about it and come up to each other once you’ve made a list of deal breakers. If some things on the list are an issue, make sure to find an alternative solution that works for both of you.

 

Family Matters

Whether you’re both very close to your families or not, it’s important to determine how to deal with any situation that involves your family. It’s best to discuss where you spend your holidays, how often you’ll both visit each other’s family, and topics to discuss with your boyfriend about inviting family members over before any complications arise.

If you feel tension with any of your partner’s family members, it’s best to address this as soon as possible. If you are afraid that your partner might not understand your point of view, make sure to explain to them you are looking for solutions and not trying to talk bad about someone they care about.

 

Conflict Resolution

In every relationship or marriage, there will be conflict. It’s completely normal that you disagree on certain things. However, it’s crucial to know how each of you prefers to resolve conflicts. One of you might want to talk right away, while the other one might feel the need to take some time to think first. 

There is no wrong way. What matters is the will to solve the conflict. If you can’t find a solution, consider talking to a relationship or marriage therapist who can provide you with efficient conflict resolution techniques. 

 

Time Alone

Find a method to accommodate each other’s need for solitude. Everyone needs it occasionally, even if it’s only a little bit. By understanding how much time you both need to unwind and how long it takes before one of you feels lonely. 

You should also find out what time alone means to each other. For some, it can mean going on a long bike ride. For others, it might just mean reading a book or watching TV in a separate part of the house.

 

Love Languages

Knowing and comprehending how the person you love displays and needs to feel love is crucial. If they express their love for you with little gifts and you for them through words, it’s important to recognize this so that you both know how to show each other how much you value them. Gifts, touch, acts, and words are the four primary languages of love. 

You will have a much better understanding of how to love each other if you talk about which one is more important to you. Asking, “When do you feel most loved by me?” before marriage is a simple method for doing this.

 

Chores and Responsibilities

When it comes to chores and responsibilities, negotiation is essential. If you’re honest and direct about it, it will prevent any disputes or animosity later. Be upfront and reach a mutually beneficial deal if you detest doing the trash and enjoy doing the dishes.

Take into account all the variables while examining the division of labor in your household. For example, who works more hours? Who spends more time at home? Whose employment offers greater flexibility? If there are chores you both hate doing, you can determine which days they are your partner’s responsibility and which days you’re going to have to take care of them. 

 

Conclusion

Relationships and marriage take work. There will always be topics to discuss with your boyfriend, yet certain topics should be addressed before making big changes together. Knowing what each of you thinks about these topics will allow you to get to know each other better and be able to give each other what you need in difficult moments.

Don’t forget to reach out for additional support if you feel overwhelmed with certain situations. Marriage therapy can help you both feel more connected and see things from a different perspective.

 

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