How to Deal with Grief: Honoring Your Feelings and Finding Peace 

 

Nobody knows how to deal with grief until we are faced with the loss of someone we care about. Even then, it’s not uncommon for many people to struggle with processing grief in a healthy way. Some will start to focus on something else to avoid feeling this enormous pain, while others might develop unhealthy habits to numb themselves. 

Grief is an overwhelming emotion that cannot be processed in one day. It doesn’t have a timeline or a determined list of symptoms. Each person can experience different emotions and behaviors as they go through grief. That said, what matters the most is to give your best to honor how you feel and seek peace in these difficult moments. 

 

Understanding Grief

Before we go into the recommended way to deal with grief, it’s important to understand it first. There are numerous definitions of grief, yet none of these words come close to experiencing it for the first time. This intense sorrow can creep up on you slowly or hit you from the moment your loved one died. 

Grief typically expresses itself through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The signs of these stages can differ from person to person. You might notice obvious signs of certain stages, while others might pass more unnoticed. However, acceptance is the last stage of grief, no matter how long you’ve grieved. 

Although we usually talk about death when discussing grief, you can also experience this emotion during a breakup, job loss, or any other major change in your life. 

 

Honoring Your Feelings

There is no right or wrong way to feel something. However, certain thinking and behavior patterns can be harmful to you. These behaviors can prevent you from going through the entire process of grief and never truly healing from the loss you’ve experienced. 

People who lose someone they love often confuse acceptance with forgetting that person or acting as if they never existed. Acceptance refers to healing from the emotions that you felt due to the loss. Whether you were angry or afraid after you lost your loved one, acceptance means that you’ve processed these emotions properly and are ready to conclude your grieving process. Don’t confuse it for a happy or uplifting feeling. Acceptance doesn’t feel like joy; it simply feels like you’ve found peace. 

Knowing such information can help you allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up without judgment. Don’t compare your grieving process to someone else’s. People grieve in different ways. You might notice that you feel better after you’ve had a long conversation with your best friend. If you don’t like talking to others, you can try journaling your emotions and thoughts as well. Reaching out to a therapist provides a safe space to share your feelings and needs. If you love art and creativity, you could write poetry, paint, write letters to the deceased, dance, etc. 

 

Asking for Support

Grief can be so overwhelming sometimes that you could easily forget that other people care for you and want to support you. Friends, family, therapists, support groups, and new people you meet can all support you throughout this process. Make sure you’re honest with yourself and with others about what you need at a given moment.

Don’t be afraid to set limits if necessary. Respect your needs and do whatever feels right. If you want to go out to dinner with friends, do it. If you want to stay at home instead, cancel your plans and take care of yourself. Seek out a therapist to aid in your recovery if you feel unsupported. 

 

Practicing Self-Care

Self-care might seem contradictory to how you feel, yet it’s important to maintain your well-being. Do your best to sleep enough hours and not spend too much time scrolling through social media to avoid feeling your emotions. 

Eat well and eat frequently. Sometimes grief is so hard you can’t get up and cook. Try to be physically active, yet avoid working out too much. Walking, stretching, jogging, or any type of light exercise can help you connect with your emotions and process them in a healthy way. 

You can try meditating or any of the mindfulness techniques to calm your mind and listen to your body. Such techniques can help ease emotional distress. Embrace each day as it comes, and be mindful of your personal needs. If you don’t feel like cooking, order food from your favorite restaurant. If you don’t want to go to the gym, stretch at home on your yoga mat. 

 

Finding Meaning and Peace

With time, you will want to reflect on cherished memories and celebrate the life of the person you lost. Many times, people will ask themselves, ‘Why did this person have to die?’. What we should ask ourselves in such a situation is, ‘Why did this person live?’. Think about their values, dreams, and all the experiences they had throughout their life. What would be the best way to pay respect and celebrate that? 

This could be volunteering, creating a tribute, practicing spiritual practices, or doing anything else that reminds you of that person. Of course, engaging in such activities will only make sense if they bring you comfort as well. 

 

Conclusion

Grief is a deeply painful and personal experience that cannot be compared to anything else. Losing someone you love is a devastating process that requires time, patience, and comprehension. 

If you’re currently going through a grief process, be kind to yourself. Do the little things that bring comfort. Process your emotions in a way that seems natural to you. The present is not where you need to set expectations. Embrace each day as it comes. Ask for support when you need it. 

 

 

 

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