What Is True Love In A Relationship?

 

Numerous songs, poems, and books were written in an attempt to respond to the question: What is true love in a relationship? We all think we know love, yet recognizing it may not be as easy as it seems. We love different people in different ways. We also build romantic relationships differently from our friends or family members. Is it possible, then, to answer the question of what true love in a relationship is? 

The short answer is yes. True love is based on certain pillars, and without them, the relationship wouldn’t be considered healthy. If you want to understand what it means to be in a healthy, loving relationship, we’ve explained it in detail below. 

 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Before we talk about what true love is, let’s compare healthy and unhealthy relationships first. Toxic relationships are those in which one or both partners act or speak harmfully to each other. For instance, signs of a toxic relationship would include going through your partner’s phone or insulting them during a discussion. 

That said, keep in mind that healthy relationships are not perfect either. It doesn’t mean that partners will never yell at each other or do something they’ll regret later. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is the way you and your partner deal with such situations. Do you learn from them? Do you ask for forgiveness? Do you do your best not to repeat that same mistake?

Partners in unhealthy relationships are not interested in growing together. Due to their treatment of each other, everything stays the same — or worse. They don’t work on improving destructive areas of their relationship. Instead, they blame each other. They blame each other for feeling a certain way or doing a certain thing. In a healthy relationship, the partners work together as a team. In an unhealthy relationship, partners will see each other as opponents.

 

Foundations of Healthy Relationships

It might be simple for you to understand what toxic relationships are. After all, there is so much online content about red flags in dating and relationships that it’s easy to compare that list against your relationship. Some signs might be obvious, while others might not be so obvious.

On the other hand, defining a healthy, loving relationship is a bit trickier. Just because a relationship is not toxic doesn’t make it true love. In other words, there are certain things such relationships need to have in common. Without it, the relationship will either not last long, or it won’t reach a deeper level of intimacy, which is the main requirement for true love. 

 

Accountability 

As much as accountability doesn’t sound romantic, it is one of the main foundations of true love. In this context, responsibilities go much further than creating separate to-do lists and being in charge of certain activities in a relationship.  Accountability refers to being responsible for your actions, words, and emotions. 

If both partners are accountable for themselves, it becomes easier to celebrate wins and face challenges together. In an unhealthy relationship, one partner will blame the other or have expectations that the other can’t meet. When both partners become responsible for themselves, they are able to grow together without being each other’s obstacle. 

 

Freedom 

Freedom might be another word you don’t understand when talking about true love. The best way to describe freedom is to give yourself and your partner the space and time needed to be your authentic selves. As long as you can express, do, and feel whatever you want, so should your partner. 

By saying that, keep in mind that your freedom shouldn’t harm the other person. Freedom allows you to explore a range of possibilities and choose the one that seems best for you. When we are free and happy, we make others happy, including our loved ones. 

 

Respect 

Every relationship should be based on respect. Respecting yourself and your partner is essential for your relationship to work. Where there is a lack of respect, true love will also be absent. You cannot love somebody and not have respect for them. Respect implies that you will treat the other person with politeness. In relationships, respect also implies your admiration for the other person.

When we don’t feel respected, it’s difficult to give our best to someone else. We start to isolate ourselves from those who don’t respect us. We put energy into protecting ourselves from them. Instead of becoming closer, the lack of respect distances people from each other. 

 

Common Objective

A healthy, loving relationship is like a team. Two players work together toward a common goal. Relationship goals don’t have to be material or physical, although most couples will have such aspirations for their future. Examples might be buying their first home together, getting married, or getting pregnant. 

Your common objective can be to learn about each other’s love language to support each other better. Or, you might want to address a certain issue that’s been present in your relationship for a while, so you seek a couples therapist. As a couple, you can have as many objectives as you want, both big and small. Being aware of your motivation to pursue that goal and being on the same page are crucial. 

 

Conclusion

Love is what makes relationships stable, long-lasting, and thriving. Loving someone and receiving love from that person not only helps you grow your relationship. You also grow as a person. Healthy relationships allow us to feel safe, regardless of what life throws at us. 

If you’re currently in a relationship and experiencing difficulties, keep in mind the foundation we previously discussed. Accountability, freedom, respect, and having common objectives can help you build a stronger, more profound relationship. If you feel like you need guidance, reach out to a couples therapist. Investing time and energy in your relationship is the best investment you can make for yourself, too. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

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