How Do You Know if You Are Bisexual?

You’re probably here because you wanted to find out the answer to the question, ‘How do you know if you are bisexual?’ Bisexuality refers to being attracted to two sexes. If you’re feeling confused about what this term means or simply want to learn more about bisexuality in general, make sure you read the entire article. At the end, we will share tips on how to explore your sexuality safely.

What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?

Think of bisexuality as a romantic attraction or sexual attraction toward both males and females. In general, bisexual people are attracted to more than one gender, whether it’s their own sex or a different one.

However, this definition doesn’t imply that all people experience bisexuality in the same way. Bisexuality exists on a spectrum, which means that attraction towards another person or people can vary in timing, intensity, and sexual expression.

If you’re new to this term, you might confuse it with pansexuality at first. Pansexuality is attraction to all genders, while bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender. Pansexual people feel attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity. Some people identify with both terms and use them interchangeably, so you don’t have to pick one. See an LGBTQIA+ specialist if you feel confused!

Common Signs You Might Be Bisexual

If you think you’re bisexual, you’ve likely felt attracted to your own sex and another. You might have called it a phase, yet now you feel your attraction for someone of the same sex is back. Whatever the case may be, the important thing to remember is that, although we use the words “gender” or “sex” when we define bisexuality, attraction doesn’t depend strictly on gender. It is often more about the person’s energy, personality, or the connection you share with them.

A bisexual person will often have crushes or fantasies about different genders. As crushes do, this crush can differ from admiration or even fantasize about being intimate with them.

Before identifying themselves as bisexual, they might often question whether they are straight or gay because their feelings don’t fit neatly in one of these boxes. They may feel gay at one time and straight at another, which can lead to additional confusion. It is common that attraction can shift over time or in different contexts, as it can sometimes be a spectrum across a person’s life.

You don’t have to prove your bisexuality, but it may help you connect with other bisexuals. Below, find a list of questions that can help you determine if you are bisexual:

Have you ever felt romantic or emotionally attached to people of more than one gender?
Have you experienced physical or sexual attraction toward more than one gender, even in imagination or dreams?
Do you sometimes develop crushes or deep connections with people regardless of their gender identity?
Have you ever imagined being in a relationship or intimate situation with someone of a gender different from your past partners?
When you see people of different genders, do you find yourself drawn to their personalities or appearances in similar ways?
Have you ever questioned whether you are straight or gay?
Have you avoided exploring attraction to a certain gender because of fear of judgment or internalized shame?
In the absence of social expectations or stigma, how might you describe your attractions?

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be bisexual?

Being bisexual means experiencing romantic and sexual attraction to more than one gender, which may not occur simultaneously, in identical ways, or with equal intensity; however, it is possible for these variations to happen. Some bisexual people may be more attracted to one gender, and that’s completely valid. It is as individual as a group of people going out to dinner – most people order different things!

Do you have to date both men and women to be bisexual?

You don’t have to date men and women to be considered bisexual. Attraction defines bisexuality, not experience. You may identify as bisexual even if you have only dated individuals of one gender or none at all.

Is bisexuality just a phase or confusion?

Bisexuality is not a phase or confusion. It is a valid and enduring sexual orientation. Some people discover or accept it later in life, yet that doesn’t make it a phase.

Common Myths About Being Bisexual

Just like there are myths about almost anything in the sexual realm, the same goes for bisexuality. Unfortunately, such myths lead to people feeling confused about their sexuality, ashamed to talk about it with others, and isolated from the community that can provide them with the type of support they need.

“It’s just a phase.”

Your sexuality can evolve, and you’re more than free to explore it as you wish. Each experience is unique, and making someone feel like their feelings are invalid is not beneficial for anyone.

“Bisexual people are confused or greedy.”

Bisexuality is a legitimate orientation that has nothing to do with confusion or greed. You have every right to feel attracted to, date, and love people of all genders. Even if your journey starts with confusion, remind yourself it’s completely normal to feel this way while figuring things out.

“You have to like men and women equally.”

The myth that bisexuals are equally attracted to men and women is false. Don’t worry about the percentage or making sure you’re giving equal opportunities. Attraction is not something that can be or should be calculated.

“You’re only bisexual if you’ve dated both genders.”

You are definitely bisexual even if you have not dated both genders. Bisexuality is not defined by dating or having sexual or romantic relationships with someone. Instead, bisexuality refers to feeling attracted to someone, and that attraction might or might not lead to dating, romance, and intimacy.

How to Explore Your Sexuality Safely

If you’re new to identifying as bisexual or are still figuring out what it means, there are safe ways to do it. Depending on your personality, you may want to take your time before revealing your sexuality to the world. The best way to learn more about your sexuality is through journaling or reflecting on your attractions and emotional responses, or seeing an LGBTQ+ therapist.

Consider also talking to friends or family members who you know can support you during this journey. Having a support system is key to feeling relaxed when exploring a new territory, such as bisexuality. When you feel ready, you might want to join online LGBTQ+ communities or look for similar events and activities in your nearest safe city.

Find movies or books that talk about bisexual experiences and consume content that resonates with you. Lastly, please keep in mind that you don’t have to explain or justify your sexuality to anyone. These labels are tools for understanding ourselves better and living our lives more authentically. Work with an identity-affirming therapist at our practice to get started understanding yourself today.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

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Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

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