Beyond Words: Why Nonverbal Communication in Relationships Matters

 

While most couples prioritize improving verbal communication, they often overlook the equally important role of nonverbal communication in relationships. If you’ve ever experienced being frustrated because your partner was saying there’s nothing to share with you, yet their body language was saying something else, you probably know what we’re talking about. 

Nonverbal communication refers to facial expressions, tone, gestures, posture, eye contact, touch, proximity, etc. These nonverbal clues can impact you without your awareness. If you don’t properly address these slight changes in your partner’s behavior, it can lead to bigger problems in relationships. Recognizing and discussing these nonverbal signals is crucial for your relationship’s well-being. 

 

Value of Nonverbal Communication in Relationships

Numerous studies have examined the extent of our verbal and nonverbal communication. All of these studies have demonstrated that although the percentages differ, we communicate more through nonverbal cues like body language than through spoken words. Just consider how much your partner’s feelings can be inferred from the silence that follows an argument. 

That being said, there is no reason why silence means something negative, other than that there was just an argument. Additionally, nonverbal communication can be used to express love, respect, support, and any other kind of affection. For instance, you can support your partner in a stressful situation by nodding your head when they are sharing something with you, sitting or standing close to them, or even holding their hand. 

Neither you nor your partner should expect to cease using nonverbal cues. We all do it most of the time. However, if you notice that you’re bothered by your partner’s silent signals and that it’s affecting your relationship, it’s best to talk to a relationship therapist. Therapy can help you discuss how nonverbal communication affects you, why it matters, and how to align it with your words. 

 

The Different Forms of Nonverbal Communication

At the beginning of our article, we mentioned the different forms of nonverbal communication briefly. Being unaware of these forms can result in unpleasant situations between you and your partner. You might not be aware that every time you argue, your facial expression reveals how judgmental you are towards something. Bringing awareness to our own nonverbal communication signals is essential to becoming successful communicators and romantic partners. 

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions reveal emotions instantly, often more truthfully than words. A smile can communicate warmth, while a frown may signal disapproval. Noticing subtle changes in your partner’s expressions helps you understand their feelings, like a certain facial expression can appear only when they are confused. Although it may seem superficial at first, nonverbal communication can help you understand your partner better and become more supportive. 

Body Language and Posture

Posture is a powerful indicator of openness and engagement. Usually, we become conscious of it during the first few dates and then forget about it entirely. The way your partner sits or stands during your interactions can reveal a lot about their feelings toward you and your partnership. In conversations, relaxed and open body language invites trust. Small changes can strengthen the feeling of emotional closeness and understanding by making conversations feel safer and more personal.

Eye Contact

Making eye contact strengthens emotional ties, closeness, and trust. During talks, maintaining eye contact with your partner demonstrates honesty and concentration. While too much eye contact might seem intense, too little eye contact can convey discomfort or distraction. Warm, balanced eye contact strengthens mutual understanding in a relationship by expressing openness, affection, and presence.

Touch

Touch is one of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication. A gentle squeeze of the hand, a hug, or a reassuring pat can convey love and support instantly. Physical contact releases oxytocin, fostering closeness and security. In relationships, intentional, affectionate touch strengthens bonds and reassures your partner without words.

Tone of Voice

The way you speak has the power to completely alter the meaning of a message. Tone of voice can convey more than just words; it can also convey attitude, intention, and emotion. While a sharp tone can cause tension, a soft, gentle tone promotes comfort. Using a mindful tone encourages safety, trust, and connection. If your tone doesn’t match your words (even if you say them perfectly), you won’t be believed. Be sure to add tone in writing, such as “this is said in a warm, loving tone,” before something that could be misconstrued. 

Personal Space 

Personal space reflects our comfort levels and boundaries. In relationships, closeness often signals intimacy, while distance can indicate emotional withdrawal. Your and your partner’s needs for personal space can be different, and they can even change from situation to situation. Respecting each other’s space builds trust, while knowing when to close the gap fosters warmth. Awareness of space dynamics supports a balanced, healthy connection.

 

How to Improve Nonverbal Communication in Your Relationship

Attention is a crucial step in improving nonverbal communication between partners. Start paying attention to their gestures, facial expressions, and movements, particularly when they are feeling emotional. If you notice any slight changes in their expression or posture, use this information to get a bigger picture of how they feel and what they are experiencing at the moment. 

Knowing your own nonverbal signals is as crucial. You may establish either intimacy or distance with your posture, your facial expression, and even your tone of voice. Make sure your body language reflects what you are saying when you talk. Your spouse can feel perplexed or even defensive if you are reassuring them, yet your tone is harsh or your arms are crossed. A strong bridge may also be created through positive contact.

A gentle hand on the arm, a hug, or holding hands during a difficult conversation can communicate love and safety in a way that words lack. Over time, making sure your nonverbal cues align with your spoken words will help your partner trust that what you say is what you truly feel.

Never be afraid to talk about the silent messages between you. If you sense mixed signals or you are unsure about your partner’s body language, ask with curiosity rather than judgment. You may avoid misunderstandings and strengthen your relationship by having open discussions about the meaning of particular gestures, tones, or emotions. The connection becomes safer and more loving when both parties feel heard, seen, and understood.

 

Conclusion

Nonverbal communication often serves as the silent core of a relationship. When the connection seems perfect, it’s in the way two bodies instinctively lean toward one another, the warmth of a touch, and the lingering gaze. We can control our words, yet our bodies rarely lie. Even if we say we are comfortable in a certain situation, our body will send different signals. 

Learning to notice these small signals and to share your own with honesty creates a deeper sense of trust and understanding. When we pay attention to what is said without words, we begin to hear our partner on a different level. That awareness can turn everyday moments into lasting expressions of love and connection.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.