7 Reasons to Be Sick & Tired of Having Drunk Sex!
Fictional Tim has spent the last few weeks trying to meet girls online. After messing around with the usual dating apps, he’s got a couple of matches and finds the courage to ask one of them out. He doesn’t want it to be too formal, so he proposes they meet for drinks.
On their date, things go incredibly! There’s chemistry and Tim is feeling like there’s a chance for some romance. He’s nervous, though, so he drinks a lot to get rid of his anxiety and any inhibitions.
Things progress, and they end up spending the night together. Tim remembers it was fun and felt good. He wants to meet again. He wants to ask her out again, and he goes with what worked last time. They meet for drinks again and the whole scene plays out again.
We’ve All Been There Before
Take out Tim’s name and you can probably substitute all of ours in there. Drinks and dating go together like peas and carrots. It’s been like that forever. And there’s no denying it. Getting tipsy can be the difference between having sex and going home alone if you’re shy or lack confidence.
Plus, drinking is entwined in our social interactions that it’s everywhere. It’s almost strange if you don’t drink.
If you feel like you’re relying on alcohol to get laid, then that’s something you may want to address. Additionally, it’s stopping you from having GREAT sex. Here are 7 reasons you should be sick and tired of having drunk sex.
Lack of Real Connection
This is the first reason and probably the most important one. When you’re drunk, you’re essentially putting a cap on how emotionally intense sex can be. That’s fine if you just want to get your rocks off, and hey, sex is still fun no matter what.
If you’re looking for mind-bending, life-changing sex, then alcohol’s not going to get you there. Being drunk numbs your senses. It also robs you of some of the intense emotions that come along with getting to sex in the first place.
Trust me, the juice is worth the squeeze. Let yourself feel those emotions. Sex is so much better with the buildup and when you’re totally present.
You Might Settle
Getting drunk and going out is a phase most people go through. It’s normal. Sooner or later, you’re going to want to start setting the bar a bit higher for who gets in your pants.
Using too much alcohol and having drunk sex leave room for you to settle for people you normally wouldn’t hook up with. It’s easier to excuse poor decision making because, after all, you’re drunk!
Staying clearheaded will help you make better decisions about who you want to have sex with. You’re more likely to get involved with people who lift you up and you’re attracted to rather than saying, “whatever” at the end of a drunken night.
When Lines Get Crossed
Drunk people can be more aggressive and slower to read social cues. No big deal if you’re out with friends in a completely safe environment. What about having sex with someone you’ve recently started dating?
Sex without substances is already an intricate interplay of verbal, physical, and emotional signals. It’s a fun dance that people play with flirting, light touching, kissing, and eventually sex. Boundaries get murky when you’re drunk.
In the extreme, your safety can be at risk. Under more common circumstances you and your partner could take each other’s comfort for granted, and that’s important when you’re having sex.
Even though you get the benefit of feeling more open and talkative when you’re drunk, it can come back to bite you when it’s time to have sex. Alcohol has frozen many a penis in its tracks when the moment arrives. Getting drunk affects the sexual anatomy.
Whether it’s the inability to hold an erection or failure to orgasm, drunk sex affects sexual performance. The effects can be good and bad, sometimes it’s a roll of the dice. Might as well avoid the drunk sex to give yourself a better shot.
Alcohol fogs memories and makes you forget. A lot of people say they can’t remember many of the details of a drunken sexual encounter. If they’re REALLY drunk, they may not remember it happening at all.
Aside from being dangerous, what fun is it? Your sexual scoreboard might be running up, that’s about it. Skipping the booze will make sure you know what’s happening at the moment and can remember the great sex you had last night, last weekend, and last year. Those are the best kind of memories.
“Was the person I slept with last night attractive? Did I use protection? Did I get taken advantage of?”
People who have drunk sex often report higher levels of anxiety and even guilt after the fact. They worry about the aftereffects of sex, even if it’s with someone they know.
It’s also easy to find your standards slipping when you’re drunk. Saying no to sex without protection is harder after several drinks. People have one-night stands they wouldn’t have otherwise had, cross sexual boundaries with friends, and other acts that lead to regret.
People who have sex with a drunk partner also often feel regret over the encounter, even if they were sober. They wonder whether it was totally consensual and how their relationship will be impacted in the future.
It’s Not as Good Drunk!
Drinks might help you close the deal. Still, drunk sex is nowhere near as fun and fulfilling as sober sex. When you’re drunk, you lose some of your motor functions. You’re slower and clumsier.
Without alcohol, your senses light up and are tuned in on your partner and the moment. You and your partner can give each other better feedback on where to touch, how fast, how hard, and more. Orgasms are more intense, and the experience is more real.
You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.
If you know someone that would benefit from this information, feel free to share it.
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. For clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized coaching on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.
Call or text us at 203-733-9600 or make an appointment.