Why Do Marriages Fail During Covid?
We are here to answer “why do marriages fail,” especially for those of you getting divorced during coronavirus.
During COVID, many marriages have remained in close quarters with limited interaction with others. As a couple’s therapist, I have seen many couples and/or relationships struggling due to quarantine, and I am here to answer why do marriages fail and why are so many couples struggling during this time?
Most marriages and couples have not had to spend this much time with each other ever or since they were in the beginning stages of their relationship when hormones
Generally why marriages fail is due to a struggle in:
- Differences in political beliefs
- Expectations about the future or priorities
During COVID, why marriages fail and couples struggle is because these categories (communication, sex, finances, etc) have become exacerbated.
As with many things, why marriages fail boils down to communication. If couples were not communicating well before the pandemic, it is more than likely that that has not improved due to:
- Increased time together
- Increased stress
- Limited outside contact with others
- Limited ability to be outside the home and/or living area
- Limited ability to see one another if they do not live together
- Changes in work expectations
- Telecommuting or helping kids complete school work
- Lack of privacy
- Conflict with other close relationships
What Can Couples Do?
First of all, changing the language from “failing” to “struggling” or “not working out.” When we focus on failure it does not help.
Generally speaking, couples should work together to identify if they have the willingness to try to work on the relationship or end the relationship (ideally with a conscious completion). If both partners are willing to try to work through these struggles or difficulties it is usually enlist a third party to help (professional) whether that’s a therapist, coach, or religious member who provides counseling.
Within COVID (and also generally), boundaries are paramount. Being able to have boundaries around work, the relationship, family time, date time, etc. When we do not do this then we set our relationship up to truly have difficulty. Boundaries are helpful and within COVID, these are incredibly important, as there is limited privacy or socialization happening outside the home.
COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!
We communicate even when we do not intend to, which means both verbal and nonverbal. We do a whole lot of communication, so if you are communicating with your partner(s) then you may want to consider doing it most effectively.
This is something that can be coached in sessions with therapists and coaches and finding strong resources.
For those of you who are here to answer “why do marriages fail,” especially during coronavirus, I hope you have gotten some useful information.
I would recommend reading other blogs written in LCAT, reading Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg, and The Gottman Institutes resource as they focus on conflict and communication in relationships.
These tips can help and the best thing to do is to work with a professional who can help you guide you in this process or work collaboratively with your partner to have a conscious completion (intentional, collaborative end to the relationship).
If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.
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