What Does Sapiosexual Mean? Choosing Intelligence over Looks

If you’ve been wondering what does sapiosexual mean, this article offers everything you need. Have you ever been on a date with someone who simply impressed you by talking about different things? You were dazzled by how they think, the questions they ask, and their perspective on the world. Being attracted more to someone’s mind than their looks is very common, yet many people don’t know what the term sapiosexual means.

Learn why some people are attracted to someone’s intelligence over their looks, leading to sapiosexuality becoming more common in modern dating culture. If you’re noticing that you’re starting to appreciate longer, engaging conversations while dating, you too might be a sapiosexual.

What Is Sapiosexual?

A sapiosexual person finds intelligence more attractive than any other trait, such as looks, status, or educational background. Feeling attracted to the way someone’s mind works goes beyond just admiring that person for being intelligent. You feel attracted to them, want to spend more time with them, and even maybe start a romantic relationship with them.

Sapiosexuality values curiosity, depth of thought, emotional intelligence, and humor over education or accomplishments.

Just like another person would approach a good-looking person, a sapiosexual would be curious about a person sharing an interesting point of view or talking about a topic they also care about. As a sapiosexual, you still notice a beautiful person walking in, yet you will not feel drawn to them in the same way as when you get to know them.

The Rise of Sapiosexuality

The term sapiosexuality became popular in the early 2000s, when many online dating platforms appeared. At that time, you would talk more to people than to be able to see them. You didn’t have so many selfies of yourself on your phone, so the only thing that could spark an interest in another person online was their conversational skills.

Fast forwarding to today, social media and dating apps put physical appearance in focus. Photos became more dominant than words. If you’ve ever joined any of the dating apps, you’ve probably noticed that your attention immediately goes to photos, leading to a general lack of intellectual intimacy. If you want to get to know someone because you feel their photos are not enough to find them attractive, you have to make extra effort to start and maintain a conversation.

Luckily, many dating app users are getting bored with their superficial impression of others and are looking for ways to get to know the person beyond their looks. That is why sapiosexuality is having a huge comeback these days.

Previously, sapiosexuality was a term recognized solely within esoteric circles, but it is now increasingly referenced within mainstream dating discourse. The emphasis has shifted once again to intellect, and mental allure is gaining prominence alongside physical appeal.

What Being Sapiosexual Really Means

Does this imply that perceiving intelligent individuals as alluring qualifies one as a sapiosexual? Possibly. The initial question you must consider is what common characteristics are shared among all the individuals to whom you feel or are attracted. If it pertains to their intellect, then you are a sapiosexual.

One of the main characteristics of sapiosexual people is that they feel attracted to curiosity and mental stimulation. They value meaningful conversation over physical attraction and naturally feel drawn to creative thinkers, philosophers, or deep communicators

Remember that appreciating intelligent individuals is one thing, whereas considering intelligence as the primary basis of attraction is another. If you are pleased that the individual you are dating is also intelligent, this does not signify that you are a sapiosexual. Sapiosexual individuals are attracted primarily to intelligence above all other qualities.

That said, there are potential challenges that might arise for sapiosexual people. Being attracted to someone’s intellect is great, yet it might be difficult to differentiate an intellectual person from someone who doesn’t meet your standards. Compared to looks, intelligence is much more difficult to spot, and it requires you to engage in a conversation with another person to see whether or not they meet intellectual standards.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is sapiosexuality a sexual orientation or just a preference?

Some see sapiosexuality as a sexual orientation and a core part of who they’re attracted to, while others think of it as a dating preference focused on intellect. It often depends on how central intelligence is to a person’s attraction and relationships.

How do I know if I’m sapiosexual?

You could be sapiosexual if you are more drawn to someone’s intelligence than anything else. If you enjoy deep conversations when meeting someone new, this could be a sign of sapiosexuality. Also, you would feel attracted to the way someone’s mind works more than their looks.

Can sapiosexuality exist alongside other orientations?

Yes. Sapiosexuality can overlap with other identities. For example, someone can be sapiosexual and heterosexual, or sapiosexual and bisexual. It describes what attracts you (intelligence), not who (gender).

Criticism and Controversy

As sapiosexuality is having its comeback, critics are outlining a few issues they have with this sexual orientation. One of them is that sapiosexuality can sound elitist or exclusionary. On the other hand, you have every right to be attracted to people you feel attracted to. One person might prefer a funny date, another a cute date, while you can look for intelligent dates.

Sapiosexuality can go wrong if you make the person feel bad about not being as intelligent as you hoped them to be. It’s okay not to have your standards met, yet keep in mind that this is your criteria for attraction, and other people don’t have to apply it.

Another thing to keep in mind is that intelligence is actually quite subjective. What you find intelligent might not be intelligent for another human being. In other words, nobody decides what smart means for everyone. Being inclusive, compassionate, and curious is key.

Conclusion

In short, being sapiosexual signifies that one places greater importance on the intellect of another individual than on other attributes. If you identify as sapiosexual, it indicates that for you, a person’s intellect is the most attractive component. Whether you are in a committed relationship or exploring new romantic interests, nothing is more appealing to you than the intellectual connection you share with them. If that is the case, be sure they are aware of it and appreciate the bond you share.

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