What Is Sexual Healing?

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What Is Sexual Healing? Exploring the Mind-Body Connection in Intimacy

 

You might be wondering, ‘What is sexual healing?’ and what it entails. Or you’re on your healing journey right now and want to try different techniques. Sexual healing is essential for building or rebuilding emotional intimacy. It also helps with recovering from trauma or reconnecting with yourself.

Many assume sexual healing is only about sex. In reality, it explores the mind-body connection in intimacy. It focuses on making that bond sustainable and nourishing for both partners. Learn how to build that type of connection and maintain it through all the phases of your romantic life. 

 

Defining Sexual Healing

You may know the famous Marvin Gaye song, but sexual healing is rooted in much deeper practices. Sexual healing can be defined as the process of recreating a healthy and safe relationship with your sexuality. 

Although many assume that our sexuality is expressed only on the physical level, it actually needs to be restored on emotional, energetic, and spiritual levels. Sexual healing involves addressing wounds, shame, traumas, and disconnection. These are often stored in your body, nervous system, or memories. Examples of such wounds are feeling uncomfortable when being hugged by someone you love and trust, or struggling with allowing your sexual energy to flow and grow in your relationship. 

People look for sexual healing for different reasons. Some may see that they have the same intimacy issues in all their relationships, while others may want more sexual freedom in how they dress, flirt, have sex, and cuddle. 

It’s important to state that most of us need some type of healing. This doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of connecting with your partner without this process. It can help you see which parts of yourself need growth. Working on them can strengthen your bond with yourself and your partner.

 

Aspects of Sexual Healing

Depending on the reasons why you seek sexual healing, your therapist or healer might suggest different approaches to work on the relevant aspects. Some therapists might prefer going through all aspects of sexual healing to ensure you’ve rebuilt the connection with yourself that allows you to be a sexual being, celebrating all corners of your intimacy. 

 

Healing Through the Body and Nervous System

Our bodies remember what our minds may forget. Sexual healing often involves releasing stored tension, trauma, or numbness from past experiences, such as abuse, shame, or neglect, that have impacted your ability to feel safe, connected, or fully present during intimacy.

 

Reconnecting With Pleasure

Pleasure is not just physical. It is also emotional and energetic. Sexual healing helps you reclaim pleasure as a natural and nourishing force, rather than something tied to guilt, pain, or obligation. This can include learning to feel desire again, honoring your boundaries, or experiencing joy in your body.

 

Emotional and Energetic Restoration

Sexual healing often involves letting go of internalized shame or fear, rewriting limiting beliefs about sex, love, and your body. And learning to trust again, both yourself and others. This restoration might be necessary if you’re going through heartbreak, grief, or betrayal. Even if this happened years ago, it can still be in your body and nervous system. Until these emotions and energy have a safe way to exit your body, it will be difficult to truly heal. 

 

Sexual Healing Practices for You

If you’re looking for other types of therapy and self-awareness work that can help you with sexual healing, there are other techniques to consider. Depending on your preferences, you might discover that you enjoy working more with your trusted therapist on healing your inner child or trying out Tantra or breathwork. 

 

Somatic Therapy or Trauma-informed Talk Therapy

Somatic therapy focuses on the connection between the mind and body, helping you release trauma stored in your nervous system through body awareness, movement, and sensation. Unlike traditional talk therapy, it doesn’t just explore memories or emotions. It helps you feel and process them physically. Trauma-informed talk also provides a safe space to gently unpack past experiences and rebuild trust in your boundaries and desires. Both approaches support nervous system regulation, which is essential for healing intimacy-related wounds.

 

Breathwork, Tantra, or Energy Work

Breathwork helps regulate your nervous system and unlock suppressed emotions by using conscious breathing to release physical and emotional tension. Tantra is an ancient practice that combines breath, movement, intention, and presence to awaken sexual energy and deepen connection with yourself and others. Energy work, like Reiki or chakra healing, focuses on unblocking emotional or sexual energy that may be stuck or imbalanced. These practices create space for safety, sensuality, and expansion without pressure or performance.

 

Conscious Self-touch and Self-pleasure

Conscious self-touch is about slowing down and being fully present with your body, offering touch that is loving, curious, and non-judgmental. This can include sensual or sexual touch, yet it’s always guided by self-consent and emotional awareness. When you practice it with intention, self-pleasure becomes a way to reconnect to your desires, needs, and bodily wisdom. With time, you might notice your focus shifts from performance and shame to presence and self-love.

 

Inner Parts: Healing and Emotional Release

Inner parts work involves reconnecting with the younger parts of yourself that may have felt unsafe, unloved, or ashamed around intimacy or expression. Although we were not aware of the impact these events had on us when they happened. They often influence adult sexual beliefs, boundaries, and behaviors. By tending to the inner child with compassion, you create safety and permission to feel, play, and receive again. Emotional release practices can help discharge suppressed pain and open the heart to intimacy. Good examples of such practices are crying, screaming into a pillow, journaling, or creative expression.

 

Conclusion

Sexual healing is a deeply personal journey of reconnecting with your body, reclaiming your pleasure, and releasing emotional wounds that may have disrupted your sense of safety and intimacy. It invites you to explore your sensuality without shame, to heal past trauma with compassion, and to restore trust in your desires and boundaries. Whether through breath, touch, therapy, or energy work, sexual healing creates space for softness, empowerment, and wholeness. 

At its core, it’s not about being fixed. Sexual healing is about remembering that your body is wise, your pleasure is sacred, and you are worthy of a deep, authentic connection with yourself and others. Start your sensual guide at home with this video made to help you get in touch with your pleasure. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotional Arousal Definition

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Emotional Arousal Definition: Stop Trauma From Controlling You

 

What is the true emotional arousal definition, and why does it matter in your relationships?

When your heart races and your mind spirals during a fight, that’s emotional arousal in action. It’s the body’s natural alarm system, preparing you to react quickly to danger or threat. Elevated heart rate, shallow breathing, tightened muscles, and a flood of overwhelming thoughts are all signs of arousal taking over.

For trauma survivors, it’s more than stress; it’s the nervous system on overdrive. Past experiences can train the body to respond as if every conflict is life-or-death, even when it isn’t. That’s why small disagreements can feel explosive, and emotional regulation may seem nearly impossible in the moment.

Learning to recognize these signals is the first step toward reclaiming control. With the right tools—grounding techniques, therapy, and conscious communication—you can break the cycle, calm your nervous system, and build relationships that feel safe, steady, and supportive.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

30-Day Intimacy Challenge

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30-Day Intimacy Challenge to Start Today

 

This 30-day intimacy challenge is for you if you’re unsure how to enhance intimacy with your partner. Couples often get stuck in routines, and it can be hard to find time to connect with busy schedules and endless to-do lists. However, intimacy is crucial for relationship success. 

Below, you can find a 30-day intimacy challenge that you can start right away. Send it to your partner and discuss how you both feel about beginning this journey toward being more connected and in love!

 

Setting the Groundwork

Before embarking on this 30-day challenge, please make sure you both have the necessary time, energy, and motivation to see it through. If the timing doesn’t seem right, it might be best to delay the challenge for a few days and then consider pausing it.  Please make an effort to be present each day, even if it’s only for 10 minutes. YES! Every day! 

Approach this challenge with an open mindset and a commitment to setting aside judgment. Creating space for honest expression helps both partners feel heard and valued.

Be sure that your shared space, both emotional and physical, is one where each of you feels safe being vulnerable. This means listening without interruption, responding with empathy, and honoring each other’s experiences.

 

30-Day Challenge To Boost Your Intimacy

To start this challenge, all you’ll need is a few minutes every day. You can expand the activity or do something inspired by it when you have time. For instance, if you’ve shared your favorite memories, and one of them is your first date at a romantic restaurant, why not go there and create a new one?

 

Week 1: Emotional Intimacy

The first week of the challenge is all about building emotional intimacy. This means creating space for honest conversations, tuning into each other’s feelings, and encouraging a relaxed atmosphere where vulnerability is welcomed and respected.

Begin the challenge by expressing appreciation. Each of you should share three things you genuinely love about the other. Focus on qualities, actions, or moments that have had a meaningful impact.

The second day can be dedicated to practicing active listening. Choose a topic or simply talk about your day. One person speaks while the other listens without interrupting, reflecting back on what they heard afterward. Then, switch roles. This helps deepen understanding and presence. You can also write love letters to each other, leave love messages all around the place, etc. 

 

Week 2: Physical Intimacy

Week two of the challenge centers on physical intimacy. This includes not just sexual connection but also everyday touch, affectionate gestures, and sensual experiences that build trust and closeness.

The first day of the second week can be reserved for holding hands. Make a point to hold hands or intertwine legs as much as possible throughout the day, whether you’re sitting together or even watching TV. It’s important to lean into head pats and soft touches without escalating them to private intimacy in the bedroom. This simple act of physical connection helps reinforce a sense of togetherness.

During the second week, you can have one day for longer kisses, a massage night, dancing or showering together, cuddling on the sofa, or a date night if both are a hell yes to bedroom fun, etc. 

 

Week 3: Intellectual & Creative Intimacy

Week three of the challenge invites you to connect through intellectual and creative intimacy. This is about stimulating conversation, learning something new together, and co-creating experiences that spark curiosity and collaboration.

Choose a documentary on a topic that interests you both. After watching, talk about what stood out, what you learned, and how it made you feel. Use it as a springboard for meaningful dialogue. Find an online personality test, such as the Enneagram or the love languages, and take it together. Share your results and reflect on how they show up in your relationship.

You can also work on a small creative activity as a team. This could be painting, cooking a new recipe, designing something, or writing a short story together. The goal isn’t perfection but shared expression and playful connection.

 

Week 4: Spiritual & Future-Focused Intimacy

The final week of the challenge focuses on spiritual intimacy and future-oriented connection. This is a time to reflect on your shared values, create intentional rituals, and dream about the life you want to build together.

Set aside time to meditate, pray, or engage in a spiritual practice that resonates with you both. Whether it’s silent reflection, guided meditation, or spoken prayer, focus on being present and grounded as a couple.

Gather magazines, digital images, or art supplies and build a vision board that represents your shared goals, dreams, and values. Display it somewhere meaningful as a visual reminder of your future together.

You can also describe what a perfect day together would look like five or ten years from now. Include where you are, what you’re doing, how you feel, and what surrounds you. Talk about what small steps you can take now to bring that day closer to reality. 

 

Reflection and Integration

At the end of the 30 days, take time to reflect on your experience as a couple. Talk about what felt meaningful, what surprised you, and which activities brought you closer. Reflection is a powerful way to reinforce growth and celebrate your journey together.

To deepen your insights, consider journaling your thoughts individually or as a couple. Some helpful questions include:

  • What activity had the biggest impact on our connection?
  • How has our communication or closeness changed?
  • What did I learn about my partner that I didn’t know before?
  • What would I like to continue doing or explore more deeply?

Life happens, and it’s completely normal to miss a day or two. Instead of feeling guilty, simply pick up where you left off or extend the challenge by a few days. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence, progress, and intention. Get a deeper dive here with a video that can teach you how! 

 

Conclusion

Intimacy isn’t something you achieve once. It’s something you nurture over time. Consider repeating this challenge each season or adapting it to fit different phases of your relationship. As you grow together, your needs and desires will evolve, and so will the ways you connect.

Prioritizing intimacy means making space for love, understanding, and presence in your daily life. Even small efforts can create lasting change when they come from a place of intention and care. For immediate support and a confidential conversation about your intimate life, schedule an appointment today. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

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How Do I Forgive Someone & Move On?

 

If you’re wondering how do I forgive someone, you’ve come to the correct place. Some things are easier to forgive, while others are not so much. Whether you are able to forgive someone also depends on how close you are to that person and the act or words that caused you harm. Without a doubt, forgiveness is a complex topic.

Learn the best way to forgive someone and how it can allow you to live your life peacefully. This article also explains how to prepare yourself to forgive someone and how to share it with them. 

 

Forgive or Not to Forgive? 

Before we get into the steps of forgiveness, let’s take a moment to see how to determine whether or not you should forgive someone who did you wrong. This person might have lied to you, betrayed you, or hidden something from you. Whatever it was, you were hurt, and now you’re uncertain whether you should forgive them or not. 

Consider the following questions to determine whether forgiveness is possible:

  • Was the harm intentional or accidental?
  • Have they taken full responsibility without deflecting blame?
  • Did they make any effort to repair the damage or make amends?
  • Are they expressing sincere remorse, or are they primarily concerned about the consequences?
  • Do you feel safe around them now?
  • Are they willing to do the work needed to rebuild trust?
  • Is forgiveness something you’re doing for them or yourself?

 

How to Forgive Someone Important to You

Forgiving someone important to you can be tough because the hurt often cuts deeper. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm. It’s about freeing yourself from resentment and choosing peace over pain. Before jumping to the forgiveness part, you should ensure you’ve taken care of your emotional well-being first.

 

1.Acknowledge How You Feel

Even if somebody hurts us unintentionally, it still hurts. Don’t put yourself in their shoes until you’ve truly felt how it feels to be in your own. Many people will try to avoid the discomfort they feel after being hurt, and they might jump to empathize with or forgive the person right away. 

Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain. Familiarize yourself with the emotions you’re feeling and give them time to show up in different ways. Ask yourself how to support yourself more during this period, whether that’s through journaling, talking to your best friend, crying while watching sad movies, or listening to heartbreaking music. 

 

2.Understanding Over Justifying 

As much as you might love this person, don’t justify their actions or words. It’s one thing to think about why they did something and another to justify them completely. Justification takes away their responsibility, and it doesn’t allow you to truly heal. 

Being curious about the context of their behavior can help you see this person from a different perspective. Does what they did change how you see them as a person? Could you please let me know if there were any indicators before the oversight? Are they likely to repeat this behavior?

 

3.Deciding If You Want to Forgive

What is your motivation for forgiveness? Are you only trying to move past this awkward situation between the two of you? Do you feel under pressure to forgive what this person or other people in your life have done to you? 

Understanding whether the forgiveness is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship or not is also crucial for your well-being. If you’re scared that they’ll do the same thing again or you’re uncertain if they feel remorse, you’re not ready to forgive them. Take more time for yourself, regardless of what anyone might say or think about it.  

 

4.Having a Heart-to-Heart Conversation

Before you forgive them, make sure you have a conversation with them when you feel ready. Be very clear on what you want to say, yet be open to hearing their side of the story. Letting them say how this experience was for them in their own words can give you a better understanding of the person in front of you.

An open, honest dialogue is not the solution to your problem, yet it is a useful tool to assess the situation better. Are they aware of the impact this had on you? Could you please let us know what steps they are prepared to take to prevent this from occurring in the future? Lastly, don’t forget that you don’t have to forgive them during the conversation. You can take some time to digest this information first and then revise how you feel about forgiving them.

 

5.Releasing Anger

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget what has been done to you. But if you want to repair a relationship with someone who hurt you, you must do so without anger, revenge, or resentment. Forgiveness requires letting go of the thing that happened and focusing on repair. 

If you forgive them yet feel angry about it, it only means your forgiveness was premature. It’s crucial to honor your emotional process, even if it takes you longer than you expected. 

 

Forgiving Someone Who’s Not Here Anymore 

This often happens when people try to deal with their childhood traumas in adulthood, yet one or both parents are no longer alive. You might wonder if it is possible to forgive a person who is no longer alive and receive your forgiveness. The answer is yes, of course. 

Forgiveness is mostly dependent on how you feel about something and if you’re ready to forgive. Even if a person is not here to correct their wrongs, it doesn’t mean you can’t forgive them and let go of that burden. 

That said, make sure you’re not making yourself forgive someone just because they’re not alive anymore. You have every right to feel frustrated, sad, or betrayed, and ignoring your feelings will only hurt you. If you want to talk about it, we are here to help.

 

Conclusion 

Forgiveness is essential for moving on because it frees us from the emotional weight of anger, resentment, and pain. Holding onto past hurts keeps us in a cycle of suffering, while forgiveness creates space for healing, growth, and peace. It doesn’t mean condoning what happened or forgetting the impact; it means choosing not to let the wound define your future. By releasing blame, we reclaim our power, paving the way for emotional clarity and deeper self-respect. Forgiveness is not a favor to the one who hurt us, but a gift we give ourselves to move forward with a lighter heart.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

3 Nonverbal Communication Examples

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3 Nonverbal Communication Examples in Relationships and Friendships

 

Nonverbal communication examples are powerful tools that reveal emotions and shape our connections. In fact, they often speak louder than words. For example, have you ever noticed someone cross their arms in a heated conversation? You probably knew right away that they were shutting down. That’s the power of body language. The way we move, touch, and hold eye contact often sends stronger messages than anything spoken.

In this video, I’ll share 3 nonverbal communication examples that can transform how you connect with friends, partners, and loved ones. When you notice these subtle cues, you can build trust and reduce conflict. In addition, they help create more intimacy in your relationships. Everyday signals—like a reassuring touch, a shift in posture, or steady eye contact—offer valuable clues about how people truly feel.

I’m Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, PhD in Clinical Sexology. I created this video to show you real-life demonstrations of these cues in action. Watch the video below to see how posture, touch, and eye contact can improve the way you communicate. As a result, you’ll learn how to connect more deeply with the people who matter most.

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

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The Danger of Being a People Pleaser

 

Saying yes to everything and everyone might seem kind, yet few people realize the danger of being a people pleaser.

Who is a people pleaser? Someone who seeks approval and affection above all else, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.

Do you always say yes to avoid conflict or rejection? If so, and you want to change, there are practical techniques to minimize your need to please others. But before learning how to fix this pattern, it’s important to understand how people pleasing affects you and those around you.

Understanding People Pleasing

People pleasing often develops from deeper psychological and emotional patterns. Many learn it in childhood, especially in homes where love and approval were conditional. If a child’s needs were ignored or praised only when they were obedient, they may grow up believing safety comes from being agreeable and accommodating.

Emotional neglect or abuse can strengthen the belief that worth is tied to being useful or likable. Someone with low self-esteem and fear of rejection may use pleasing others as protection from being left alone.

Society also plays a role. In cultures that reward politeness and self-sacrifice, being agreeable often becomes a predictable path to praise and acceptance. Acts of kindness are not the problem, what matters is whether you consider your own needs first.

Signs of People Pleasing

You may be a people pleaser if you:

  • Say “yes” when you want to say “no”

  • Feel guilty about setting boundaries

  • Constantly worry about what others think

  • Avoid conflict even when issues need to be addressed

  • Feel responsible for others’ happiness

  • Overcommit and burn out

  • Struggle to express your real opinions or desires

Kindness is different from people pleasing. Kindness is rooted in love, generosity, and choice. People pleasing is driven by fear of rejection. While kindness nurtures both giver and receiver, people pleasing often ends in resentment, exhaustion, and loss of authenticity.

Consequences of People Pleasing

Constantly putting others first comes with consequences. The severity depends on how long you’ve been doing it and how far you go.

Loss of Identity and Boundaries

Many people pleasers eventually notice they have no clear sense of self. Always being available to others leads to burnout and the painful realization that they’ve neglected their own needs. Setting boundaries for the first time can feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for growth.

Stress and Exhaustion

Trying to make everyone happy is draining. People pleasers often carry chronic stress, emotional fatigue, and even resentment in relationships. Eventually, pleasing others becomes a chore. When you ask for change, others may resist because they’re used to your support. Breaking the pattern is tough, but worth it.

Loss of Authenticity

Over time, people pleasers lose touch with who they are. Small joys may feel pointless compared to helping others. Worse, people pleasers often attract toxic or manipulative personalities who exploit their need to give. Get more ideas on how to connect.

 

How to Break Free from People Pleasing? 

Breaking free starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself:

  • Why do I need to please others?

  • What do I gain from it?

Journaling, therapy, or inner child work can help uncover the early experiences that shaped these habits.

Learn to Say “No”

Saying no without guilt is a powerful skill. At first, it may feel uncomfortable, but each honest “no” reinforces your right to honor your time, energy, and well-being.

Practice Boundaries and Assertiveness

Boundaries aren’t about rejection. They’re clear agreements about what you can and cannot offer. Communicating calmly and directly allows others to understand your needs while protecting your emotional health.

 

Conclusion

To break free from people pleasing, reconnect with your values and desires. Ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What do I want from life without considering others’ expectations?

This process requires accepting discomfort. People pleasers often fear being disliked or seen as “difficult.” But real growth comes when you stop seeking universal approval. Freedom lies in embracing imperfection and choosing authenticity over perfection.

Are you ready to take the first step? If you’d like support, consider scheduling a session today.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Sexually Fluid Guide for Beginners

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Sexually Fluid Guide for Beginners

 

Being sexually fluid means your sexuality can change over time. It doesn’t mean you’re indecisive or confused about your sexuality. Sexual fluidity often gets confused with pansexuality, an attraction regardless of gender. A sexually fluid person will not be attracted to all genders at once; they will rather have shifts of interest when it comes to genders. 

If you want to understand sexual fluidity better or determine whether it’s something that resonates with you, continue reading this article. We’ve gathered all relevant information for sexually fluid people, including tips on how to embrace your authentic self and live your life to the fullest. 

 

Defining What It Means to Be Sexually Fluid 

Sexual fluidity is a natural process of feeling attracted to different genders at different times in your life. Although the shift itself is what makes sexual fluidity different from all other sexual orientations, identities, and processes, it is not its most essential characteristic. It is important to note that a sexually fluid individual does not necessarily experience constant changes in their sexuality. Their attractions and self-identifications may develop over time, but this evolution does not have to look any certain way.

 

Key Characteristics of Sexual Fluidity

If you’re uncertain whether you or someone in your circle is sexually fluid, there are certain characteristics that can provide additional clarification:

  • Changes in attraction: You may feel attracted to one gender now and another gender or multiple genders in the future. 
  • Changes in identity labels: The way you identify yourself can change from being a lesbian/gay to bisexual or vice versa. 
  • Not a fixed state: You don’t see your sexual orientation as something permanent. It’s something that evolves with time and experience. 
  • It’s not a phase: Sexual fluidity is not a phase; it’s a process. Just because there are changes in this process, it doesn’t mean it’s not permanent. 

 

How Fluidity Shows Up in Real Life 

Besides knowing these characteristics, are there other ways that sexual fluidity appears in our lives? Can you tell if someone is sexually fluid without knowing the key aspects mentioned above?

Think about all the people you felt attracted to on some level. What were their sexual identities? This doesn’t imply that all these people have nothing in common. For instance, you might like their sense of humor or intelligence, yet their gender wasn’t something that was a determining factor for you. 

When talking about fluidity, it’s important to consider time and context. Don’t look into your current or last relationship to define whether or not you’re sexually fluid. Context refers to the type of relationship and the connection level you had with that person. This information can help you clarify if you’re sexually fluid, pansexual, or something else. 

Keep in mind that being sexually fluid means you don’t have to change the way you label yourself. As a sexually fluid person, you can be interested in different genders across years, and your label will stay the same. Sexual fluidity means that the status quo can change, and these changes make you fluid. 

 

Becoming the Real You 

If our article helps you confirm you’re sexually fluid, you will want to continue reading the tips on how to truly enjoy your sexual fluidity and connect with others who celebrate you. Please ensure you feel confident about this information before sharing it with others. Highlight the best moments of this beautiful process and make a list of things you’re grateful for. 

Once you feel ready to let the world know you’re sexually fluid, think about the people who will be happy for you. Share it with your close friends and loved ones before opening up about it to everyone. If you feel stressed about it in any way, consider talking to a therapist with experience in this field. A therapist can help you navigate challenges you stumble upon and support you on the path toward embracing yourself completely. 

Another way to memorize all crucial moments of your sexually fluid journey is by journaling. Just imagine how exciting it will be to read your thoughts in a few years from now! Journaling or similar self-help techniques can help you if you feel confused or scared or want to work more on accepting yourself. 

 

Navigating Relationships and Communication 

A wonderful aspect of sexual fluidity is the inclusion of diverse relationships. Your well-being and happiness depend on how you connect and communicate romantically with loved ones. Once you’re certain that you’re sexually fluid, you will probably want to make the most of your relationships. 

Just like it is in any other relationship, sexually fluid people will need to be transparent and honest if they want to connect in a meaningful way with someone else. In this case, you will probably want to talk about your fluidity. If your partner is not familiar with sexual fluidity, please explain it to them. 

People should process new information at their own pace, but for a relationship to succeed, mutual respect and transparency are crucial. 

Being sexually fluid doesn’t mean you want to explore how it feels to be in a relationship with all genders. You may see that you only dated one gender at first, but now you prefer others. Your experience can be very different from that of another sexually fluid person. That is why it’s important to explore it in alignment with your needs and desires. 

 

Final Words

As a sexually fluid person, you will want to embrace curiosity and self-compassion. Being curious about how you feel about other people can help you understand yourself better. The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to find the right partners to enjoy this exciting journey with you!

Be kind to yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others, and embrace all the positive things sexual fluidity can bring to your life. Having compassion for yourself can help you make the most of your relationships and allow others to fall in love with the best version of yourself – the authentic one. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Does Possessive Mean?

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What Does Possessive Mean? Overpossessive Meaning

 

Feeling smothered by a partner or friend who wants to control your every move? That’s overpossessiveness, and it can quietly destroy even the strongest relationships. Understanding the meaning of possessive behavior is the first step in spotting red flags and protecting your emotional well-being.

In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, explains what overpossessiveness looks like, the signs to watch for, and how to set healthy boundaries. From constant check-ins to guilt trips, you’ll learn how to recognize the difference between genuine care and controlling behavior.

Why Watch This Video?

You’ll discover:

  • What “possessive” really means in relationships

  • The warning signs of overpossessive behavior

  • Simple tips to set healthy boundaries and protect your independence

If you’ve ever apologized just for needing space, this video is for you.

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Cybersex in the Digital Age

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The Future of Desire: Cybersex in the Digital Age

 

Most of us have had at least some cybersex experience, whether you were online in one of the pixelated chat rooms or you’re exploring the benefits of immersive virtual experiences present today. Regardless of how a person practices it, cybersex is defined as a sexual activity conducted via digital communication. 

As the Internet was evolving, those interested in cybersex had the opportunity to explore different forms, from phone sex and sexting to  FaceTime and Snapchat. Although cybersex has existed since the dawn of the internet, technology, political difficulties, and the pandemic have made it far more common. Learn the different forms of cybersex and how to make sure both of you are truly enjoying the experience!

 

How It Started

Cybersex in its earliest form began with BBS (Bulletin Board Systems), primitive chatrooms, and text-based erotica shared between curious internet users. These early spaces thrived on the thrill of anonymity and the excitement of exploring something taboo in an entirely new digital environment. With limited visual technology at the time, most interactions relied heavily on imagination, fantasy, and creative storytelling to generate arousal and connection.

As the internet expanded, platforms like AOL, IRC (Internet Relay Chat), and early instant messaging services introduced what became known as the “A/S/L?” culture, a shorthand for age, sex, and location. This culture invited strangers into intimate, often erotic exchanges. 

Roleplay became increasingly popular, and users engaged in elaborate erotic storytelling and character-based interactions. Around this time, webcams began to enter the scene. However, the technology was still rudimentary, grainy, and low-resolution, making early cam shows both thrilling and somewhat awkward.

 

The Cybersex Landscape Today

Recently, sexting and video sex have become normalized aspects of modern romantic and sexual relationships. What was once considered taboo or risky has increasingly been embraced as a valid form of intimacy, especially in long-distance or tech-savvy partnerships. Alongside this shift, there’s been a noticeable rise in sexual agency and self-exploration within online spaces, allowing people to express their desires, identities, and boundaries with more confidence and creativity than ever before.

Advancements in technology have taken cybersex into immersive new territory. Virtual reality (VR) sex and teledildonics (remote-controlled sex toys) are making it possible for partners to experience physical sensations across distances, adding new layers to digital intimacy. 

Beyond that, the rise of 3D avatars, AI-generated porn, and virtual experiences within the metaverse is redefining what sexual connection can look like. However, these innovations also raise complex ethical concerns, especially around consent, the creation of digital replicas, and the potential misuse of artificial personas.

The landscape of cyber intimacy has also been shaped by the growth of subscription-based platforms like OnlyFans and Fansly, where creators offer erotic content and personalized interactions for paying audiences. These spaces have empowered many to monetize their sexuality on their own terms. At the same time, there has been an emergence of queer- and kink-positive online communities, providing safer, more inclusive environments for expression and connection.

 

Cultural Shifts & Challenges

As cybersex becomes more mainstream, there’s been a noticeable reduction in stigma surrounding digital intimacy. But this change is happening at the same time as more digital surveillance, which makes people worry about privacy, data security, and the chance that private content will be leaked or used inappropriately. For many people, particularly those in long-distance relationships, cybersex has become an important tool for maintaining connection. It became even more important following the pandemic, when physical closeness was not always possible.

Issues around gender, consent, and digital safety continue to shape the conversation, particularly as more people engage with erotic content across various platforms. There are growing calls for clearer boundaries and protections, especially for marginalized communities and sex workers who often face disproportionate risk. 

Additionally, there are noticeable generational differences in how people approach and feel comfortable with cybersex; younger users tend to be more fluent and open, while older generations may still carry more hesitation or stigma from earlier digital eras.

 

Tips to Enjoy Cybersex

There are certain things that can help you enjoy cybersex, whether you’re new to it or looking to deepen the experience with a partner. Here are some tips to consider when you decide to try cybersex. 

 

1. Communicate Clearly Beforehand

Set the tone by talking about boundaries, desires, and comfort levels in advance. Discuss what you’re open to, what feels off-limits, and any safe words or signals to use if something feels uncomfortable. Effective communication builds trust, and there’s nothing more attractive than trusting someone.

 

2. Create a Comfortable, Private Space

Set the mood just like you would for in-person intimacy. Dim the lights, wear something that makes you feel confident, and eliminate distractions. Knowing you’re in a private, safe environment can help you stay present and relaxed.

 

3. Build Anticipation

Don’t rush. Start with flirty texts, voice notes, or teasing photos throughout the day. Anticipation is a powerful part of arousal, and a slow build-up can make the experience more intense and exciting.

 

4. Use All Your Senses 

Sex is not just about what you see. Think about your tone of voice, the sound of your breath, or even sending an audio clip. Some couples even light the same candle or play the same music to create a shared atmosphere.

 

5. Embrace Imagination and Storytelling

Cybersex thrives on creativity, such as roleplay, describing sensations in detail, or writing short erotic scenarios together. If you’re not comfortable on camera, descriptive text or voice-only can still be incredibly intimate. 

 

6. Make the Most of Tech Tools

If you’re curious and comfortable, explore remote-controlled toys, secure video platforms, or apps that let you sync pleasure devices. Tech can add a playful, immersive element as long as you make sure both of you are on board.

 

7. Practice Consent and Check-Ins

Just like IRL intimacy, ongoing consent matters. Ask your partner how they’re feeling, and don’t hesitate to pause or stop if something shifts emotionally or physically. Check-ins can be sexy too – they show care and awareness.

 

Conclusion

Cybersex has evolved significantly from its early days of simple text exchanges, now incorporating rich, interactive experiences that utilize video, audio, virtual reality, and even remote-controlled devices. This evolution reflects the rapid advancement of technology, as well as the enduring and ever-adaptive nature of human desire. As digital intimacy continues to expand and become more integrated into our lives, we must keep the focus on mutual consent, meaningful connection, and safe, respectful exploration.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Impulsive Buying

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Impulsive Buying: How to Stop Yourself From Buying Things You Don’t Need

 

Impulsive buying refers to purchasing things without any plan or need. An impulsive buyer will buy something because it caught their eye, made them feel good, or triggered a specific emotional response. In other words, impulsive buying refers to purchases that we are not rational about. That said, we’re all guilty of buying things we actually don’t need. 

Impulsive buying refers more to people who can’t resist buying something. They will make more impulsive purchasing decisions than rational ones, which can ultimately affect their personal finances. Before we suggest tools that can help you stop making this type of purchasing decision, it’s important to take a look at the reasons why some people become impulsive buyers. 

 

Causes of Impulsive Buying Behavior 

A mix of emotional triggers, psychological tendencies, and environmental cues often drives impulsive buying behavior. On an emotional level, people tend to shop impulsively when they are feeling stressed, bored, or seeking a quick mood boost. Purchasing something new can release dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, offering instant gratification and a temporary emotional lift. 

This makes impulsive buying appealing during moments of emotional vulnerability or when someone is trying to cope with negative feelings. Some people even have a natural tendency toward lower self-control or higher materialism, making them more prone to spontaneous purchases.

Social media amplifies this effect through influencer endorsements and viral trends, which create a sense of urgency and FOMO (fear of missing out). When combined with quick access to credit, one-click purchases, and constant exposure to advertising, the modern shopping environment makes it increasingly difficult for consumers to resist the urge to buy on impulse. 

 

Impulsive Buying Signs 

However, not every person who shops regularly is an impulsive buyer. To understand the true motivation behind your purchasing decision, honestly answer the following questions:

  • Do you often buy things you didn’t plan to purchase when shopping?
  • Do sales, discounts, or “limited time offers” encourage you to make quick purchases?
  • Have you ever bought something just because it looked appealing at the moment, even if you didn’t need it?
  • Do you sometimes regret purchases shortly after making them?
  • Do you shop to feel better when you’re sad, bored, stressed, or anxious?
  • Do you frequently buy items online late at night or while distracted?
  • Are there items in your home with tags still on or things you’ve never used?
  • Do you tend to justify unnecessary purchases by saying, “I deserve this” or “It was on sale”?
  • Do you find it difficult to stick to a shopping list or budget?
  • Have you ever hidden a purchase from someone or felt embarrassed about spending?
  • Do you buy things simply because others have them (influencers, friends, trends)?
  • Do you often check shopping apps or browse stores without needing anything specific?
  • Do you occasionally use credit or buy-now-pay-later options for purchases that are NOT urgent? Do you do this without fully considering the long-term costs?

 

How to Stop Buying Impulsively 

If you’ve answered most of our questions positively, it would be good to consider implementing a strategy that will help you make more rational decisions when buying things. Luckily, a range of such techniques exists, allowing you to try each of them and see which one is most efficient. 

 

1. Create a 24-Hour Rule

Before making a non-essential purchase, wait 24 hours (or even 72 hours for bigger items over $200+). This delay helps break the emotional urge and allows you to assess whether you genuinely need or want the item.

 

2. Shop with a List 

Always bring a written or digital list when shopping (online or in person). If it’s not on the list, please refrain from purchasing it. This keeps you focused and prevents wandering into temptation zones.

 

3. Use the “Cost in Time” Technique

Ask yourself, “How many hours of work is this worth?” Framing a purchase in terms of time rather than money can shift your perspective and reduce impulse decisions.

 

4. Unsubscribe and Unfollow

Unsubscribe from marketing emails, brand newsletters, and social media influencers or accounts that frequently trigger your spending urges. The less you’re exposed to shopping triggers, the fewer chances you’ll buy on impulse.

 

5. Remove Saved Payment Info

Delete saved credit card information from websites and apps to make it harder to buy impulsively. Adding extra steps to complete a purchase allows you more time to rethink it.

 

6. Track Your Spending

Use a budget app or journal to record every purchase. When you start seeing patterns in your spending habits, especially on impulse buys, it becomes easier to recognize and stop them.

 

7. Identify Emotional Triggers

Notice when you’re tempted to buy impulsively. Is it when you’re stressed, bored, or feeling low? Once you recognize the emotional root, find healthier coping mechanisms (like walking, journaling, or calling a friend).

 

Practicing Conscious Consumption

Practicing conscious consumption means making intentional, informed, and values-driven decisions about what you buy, how much you buy, and where your purchases come from. It’s about shifting from automatic or emotional spending to thoughtful, purposeful choices that align with your personal ethics, needs, and long-term goals. 

Rather than accumulating items out of habit, social pressure, or instant gratification, conscious consumers pause to ask questions like, Do I really need this? Who made it? What impact does this purchase have on the environment or the people involved in producing it? This mindset encourages quality over quantity and supports sustainability, ethical labor, and financial well-being.

In everyday life, conscious consumption can take the form of purchasing local or secondhand products, supporting brands with transparent practices, or simply purchasing fewer items overall. It entails becoming more aware of the marketing tactics and emotional triggers that lead to impulsive spending, as well as learning to pause and reflect before making a purchase.

This will not only help you cut down on waste and clutter, but it may also make the things you do choose to own more fulfilling and meaningful. In the end, mindful consumption gives you back control over your expenditures and helps you match your financial practices with your priorities and deeper values.

 

Conclusion

In conclusion, impulsive buying can quietly drain your finances, clutter your space, and leave you with regret. With awareness and a few practical strategies, you can take control. 

By pausing before purchases, identifying emotional triggers, and aligning your spending with your actual values, you’ll stop buying things you don’t need and cultivate a more intentional, satisfying relationship with money.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Quality Time Love Language Examples

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Quality Time Love Language Examples – What is Quality Time?

Do you ever feel like your relationships are missing that spark? 💫 Sometimes the secret to deeper connections isn’t grand gestures—it’s simply spending meaningful moments together. In this post, we’ll share Quality Time Love Language Examples and how they can improve your friendships, family bonds, and romantic relationships.

Understanding the Quality Time Love Language

The Quality Time Love Language is about presence and attention. For many people, nothing feels more loving than having someone set aside distractions and give them their full focus. Whether it’s listening to a story, sharing a meal, or just sitting together, these small actions build trust and connection.

Simple Quality Time Love Language Examples

If you’re looking for ways to put this into practice, here are a few examples of the Quality Time Love Language:

  • Cook together – Preparing a meal is a simple but powerful bonding experience.

  • Unplug and talk – Turn off devices and give someone your full attention.

  • Take a walk – Even 15 minutes of conversation outdoors can feel intimate.

  • Weekly date night – Dedicated time builds consistency and reassurance.

  • Shared hobbies – Reading, working out, or even gaming together strengthens bonds.

Watch the Full Video

Want to learn more? In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT and trauma expert, explains the Quality Time Love Language, why it matters, and practical ways to bring it into your daily life.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Negative Self Talk

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Negative Self Talk: Why We Do It and How to Stop

 

Negative self-talk is not uncommon, yet having constant negative thoughts can harm your mental health and impact the way you perceive the world around you. Negative self-talk is your inner dialogue that is critical, self-defeating, or pessimistic. It prevents you from having high self-esteem and enjoying life properly. After all, if you believe you’re unworthy of something, it’s likely that you won’t even attempt it or enjoy the experience.

Although we’re all aware that negative self-talk impacts us negatively, it’s not so simple to get rid of that critical voice inside your head. That is why we’ve decided to examine why some people have negative inner dialogues while others do not and explore ideas on how to overcome negative self-talk for good.

 

What Is Negative Self-Talk? 

Negative self-talk is the habit of thinking and speaking to yourself in ways that undermine your confidence, lower your mood, and limit your potential. It’s the voice in your head that says things like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up.” Negative self-talk is more than just occasional self-doubt. It’s an ongoing internal narrative that can quietly shape the way you see yourself, others, and the world.

Negative self-talk often begins early in life and is mostly shaped by critical or perfectionist parents, teachers, or coaches. Social media and society can also shape how we perceive ourselves by setting unrealistic standards for beauty, success, or worthiness. Experiences that make you feel rejected, ashamed, or not good enough can lead to negative self-talk.

Most of the time, shame can be found at the core of this. Feeling like you’re not worthy enough for certain things in life or that you’re better off staying small is a big part of negative self-talk. However, when we’re ashamed to show ourselves to the world, it prevents us from growing and connecting with everything and everyone around us in a way we deserve. 

These beliefs operate like background software, influencing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often without your awareness. Negative self-talk is a habit, not your identity. Like any habit, it can be changed. With awareness, practice, and compassion, you can shift your inner dialogue into something more balanced and empowering.

 

How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Although you might feel like you don’t have control over your negative self-talk, there are certain steps you can follow to reduce it. Don’t expect to get rid of it completely at first. Changing the way you talk to yourself takes time. 

 

1. Become Aware Of Your Negative Self-Talk

Most negative self-talk is automatic. In other words, you don’t even know that your inner voice is being criticized. However, it has a major impact on how you feel, the decisions you make, and how you communicate with people in your life. It would be impossible to change something if you don’t notice it. 

Start by observing your inner dialogue throughout the day. Pay attention to what situations tend to trigger negative self-talk. Consider scenarios such as encountering failure, perusing social media, or engaging in a disagreement with someone. Notice the tone of these thoughts: are they harsh, sarcastic, anxious, or overly critical?

Also, tune into your body. Where do you feel the impact of these thoughts? It may manifest as tightness in your chest, a sinking feeling in your stomach, or tension in your shoulders.

 

2. Name Your Voice

Give your inner critic a name or identity. This creates distance between you and the thought. Giving your inner critic a name can help you separate it from yourself and observe the thoughts that appear instead of being overwhelmed by them. 

You can start by giving it a name and then describing it. Playing around with your inner voice allows you to become more curious about the entire process of befriending your inner critic.  

 

3. Challenge the Thought

Once you’ve identified a negative thought, take a moment to question it. Ask yourself, “Is this 100% true?” Consider whether there is solid evidence to support the thought or if it’s based on assumptions or emotions.

Next, reflect on how you would respond if someone you loved were thinking this way. Ask, “Would I say this to a child or a close friend?” If the answer is no, then it’s likely not something you should say to yourself either. Finally, try to imagine what a more compassionate voice would say at that moment. Having compassion doesn’t mean denying your feelings but rather offering yourself kindness and truth.

 

4. Replace With Balanced Self-Talk

When you begin to shift your self-talk, it’s important to avoid toxic positivity. You’re not trying to lie to yourself or force overly cheerful thoughts. Instead, you’re offering yourself the truth spoken with kindness and compassion.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m so stupid,” you might reframe it to “I didn’t understand that, but I can learn.” Saying something like, “I’m feeling lonely right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m unlovable,” can help you overcome the feeling that no one likes you. You don’t have to be fake or overly positive—just be fair and gentle with yourself.

 

5. Use Grounding Techniques

When your inner critic starts to spiral and overwhelm you, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. One effective technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. It consists of naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This helps anchor you in your surroundings and calm your nervous system.

You can also take three deep belly breaths, slowly inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, to soothe your body and mind. Another calming practice is to place your hand on your heart and quietly say to yourself, “I’m safe. I’m here. I’m doing my best.” This simple gesture can help you reconnect with a sense of safety, presence, and self-compassion.

 

Conclusion

Negative self-talk is a deeply ingrained habit that often stems from past experiences, fear, or a perfectionist mindset. While it may feel automatic, it’s not unchangeable. By tuning into your inner dialogue, questioning negative thoughts, and embracing self-kindness, you can slowly transform your relationship with yourself. 

This isn’t about stifling all criticism. It’s about replacing harshness with compassion and kindness. The way you speak to yourself matters, just as the way you would talk to a friend or child matters. With daily practice and patience, you can create a healthier inner world that supports your growth, confidence, and emotional well-being. Change begins with one kind thought at a time.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Improve Communication Skills in a Relationship

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How to Improve Communication Skills in a Relationship: Expert Advice

 

Good communication is the heartbeat of every healthy relationship. Without it, misunderstandings grow, conflicts drag on, and intimacy fades. If you’ve been wondering how to improve communication skills in a relationship, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle with expressing themselves clearly or listening with empathy — but the good news is, these skills can be learned.

Why Communication Matters in Relationships

Learning how to communicate effectively in a relationship builds trust, reduces conflict, and deepens emotional intimacy. Couples who work on communication skills often report feeling more connected and respected. Whether you’re navigating everyday stress or bigger challenges, clear communication helps both partners feel heard and supported.

Practical Tips to Improve Communication Skills

Here are a few expert-backed strategies:

  • Practice active listening – Instead of planning your response while your partner speaks, focus on their words and feelings.

  • Use “I” statements – Phrases like “I feel worried when plans change suddenly” prevent blame and open up constructive dialogue.

  • Schedule check-ins – Set aside regular time to discuss feelings, goals, or concerns without distractions.

  • Seek feedback – Ask your partner how you can communicate better, and be open to their perspective.

For a deeper dive, check out Life Coaching and Therapy’s blog on relationship skills where we share practical guidance from licensed relationship therapists.

Final Thoughts

Improving communication in a relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but consistent practice makes a huge difference. Start small, stay patient, and celebrate progress along the way. If you’d like professional support, our therapists at Life Coaching and Therapy specialize in helping couples build lasting, healthy connections.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Solo Polyamory 101

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Solo Polyamory 101: Guide to Loving Without Losing Yourself

 

If you’re new to the polyamory lifestyle, you might assume that traditional polyamory and solo polyamory are the same thing. However, there are quite a few differences between these two polyamory models. Solo polyamorists usually do not seek to merge their lives with a primary partner through shared living, finances, or traditional relationship milestones like marriage. 

Do you want to learn more about solo polyamory? Start creating a life that celebrates your love for others by finding all the necessary guidelines here. 

Solo Polyamory Explained

Solo polyamory is a relationship style where someone engages in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships without seeking a primary partner or traditional couple-based structure. Unlike hierarchical polyamory, where one relationship might precede others, solo poly people often prioritize their independence, autonomy, and personal freedom. That doesn’t mean they avoid deep emotional connections. It just means they choose not to center their life around a single romantic relationship.

Many solo polyamorous individuals value living alone, making independent life decisions, and maintaining clear personal boundaries, even while being involved in loving, committed relationships. It’s about designing relationships that fit your life rather than molding your life to fit a relationship.

Some people choose to be solo polyam because they haven’t found the right nesting partner, while for many others, it is a deliberate lifestyle choice. It’s not about avoiding intimacy. You want to relate without merging identities or losing selfhood. The core idea is to love others deeply and belong to yourself first.

Key Principles of Solo Polyamory

Radical honesty and clear communication are two main pillars of solo polyamory. Because there are no default scripts or traditional structures to fall back on, solo polyamorists must openly articulate their needs, boundaries, and intentions with each partner. Emotional responsibility is another core value. Are you able to own your feelings without projecting them onto others or relying on partners to make you feel whole?

Instead of being assumed, relationships in solo polyamory are consciously designed. Everything is being carefully considered, from cohabitation and marriage to shared finances. Each connection is shaped intentionally, based on what works for the people involved. Independence is central in living arrangements, money, and identity. Solo polyamorists prioritize a strong sense of self, so they often choose not to have a primary or nesting partner. This isn’t about avoiding intimacy for them. It is about creating space for personal growth, freedom, and self-directed love while still showing up with care and presence in relationships.

Transitioning from Hierarchical Polyamory to Solo Polyamory

Transitioning from hierarchical polyamory to solo polyamory requires a mindset shift and revision of your relationship structure. Polyamory, often intertwined with power exchange relationships, can involve hierarchical dynamics, like having a primary partner and living together most nights. In solo polyamory, an individual often likes to live alone and have the personal autonomy of non-hierarchical connections. You will have to be clear if you were nesting with someone, and why you’re making the shift. Are you craving more independence, emotional space, or a lifestyle that reflects your values better?

Next, you will have to have an honest conversation with your current partners. Explain to all your partners your evolving needs and what solo polyamory means to you. While you’re talking, make sure you emphasize that it’s not about loving them less, yet it’s about loving yourself differently. Be aware that solo polyamory may be unfamiliar to someone coming from a couples-based polyamorous setup, which can often lead to uncertainty about their place in your life. It is normal to expect some discomfort during and after the conversation. Be firm about the necessary boundaries, whether these are separate living arrangements, more time alone, or rebalancing emotional expectations.

Practically, prioritize your routines, goals, and identity outside of your relationships. Learn to sit in your own company, and invest in your chosen family, friends, and self-care practices. You’re not withdrawing love; you’re decentralizing it.

Solo polyamory isn’t about being single with benefits. It’s about choosing to belong to yourself first while still showing up fully in love, connection, and care. The shift takes courage, yet it can be deeply empowering.

Avoid These Mistakes While Being a Solo Polyamorist

Being a solo polyamorist comes with freedom, while it also requires intentionality. One common mistake is avoiding emotional depth under the guise of independence. Solo polyamory doesn’t mean detaching from intimacy. It means relating without sacrificing autonomy. Another misstep is failing to communicate clearly. Just because you’re not seeking a primary partner doesn’t mean others can read your boundaries or expectations.

Avoid leading partners along by downplaying your solo identity. Please be clear about what you can offer and what you are not seeking. Also, don’t isolate yourself. Solo doesn’t mean alone in the world. Take care of your friendships and become as active as needed in your community. 

Lastly, don’t confuse personal freedom with avoiding accountability. Even without hierarchy, your actions still affect others. Ethical solo polyamory means showing up with honesty, compassion, and care.

Benefits and Challenges

Solo polyamory offers a strong sense of freedom and flexibility. Without the obligations of a primary partnership or shared household, solo polyamorists have the space to prioritize personal goals, self-growth, and multiple connections on their terms. This autonomy allows for deep, intentional relationships without compromising independence. However, the path isn’t without challenges. 

In a world that frequently prioritizes coupledom and hierarchy, choosing not to follow traditional models can result in feelings of loneliness or misinterpretation. It can also be difficult to find partners who understand or respect the solo poly approach. To stay grounded, many solo polyamorists develop strong self-care practices, like journaling, therapy, or meditation, and cultivate chosen family or community connections for emotional support. 

A support system is essential, both within and outside of romantic relationships. Navigating solo polyamory means balancing freedom with vulnerability and solitude with meaningful connection.

Conclusion

Solo polyamory is a relationship philosophy of autonomy, intentionality, and self-trust. It challenges traditional ideas about love, commitment, and success by asking: What if you could build your relationships around your life, instead of the other way around? While it offers the freedom to explore deep connections without merging identities, it also requires emotional maturity, honest communication, and a strong sense of self. With solo polyamory, you are not avoiding intimacy or commitment; you are redefining them on your terms. 

For those who value independence, personal growth, and diverse expressions of love, solo polyamory can be a deeply fulfilling path. Like any relationship style, solo polyamory will come with challenges. With time, you can expect clarity, community, and care because it allows you to love freely without losing yourself. Whether you’re curious, questioning, or already living solo poly, remember: there’s no right or wrong way to love, only the way that honors your truth and respects others in the process. If you want to talk to a coach or therapist who understands your situation, make an appointment! 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Low EQ Affects Your Romantic Relationships

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How Low EQ Affects Your Romantic Relationships: Boost Your EQ

 

Struggling with constant fights, emotional distance, or mixed signals in your love life? You’re not alone. Many couples face these challenges, but often the hidden factor behind repeated misunderstandings is low emotional intelligence or Low EQ.

When your EQ is low, it becomes harder to identify your own emotions and even harder to recognize the feelings of your partner. This leads to missed cues, defensiveness, or shutting down during conflict. Over time, those small breakdowns can pile up, creating bigger rifts in the relationship. You may feel like you’re talking past each other, replaying the same arguments, or not being truly seen and understood.

Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, breaks down what low EQ really looks like in day-to-day relationships. Maybe it shows up as difficulty expressing yourself without anger. Maybe it’s feeling rejected when your partner needs space. Or maybe it’s the silence after a fight that drags on for days. The truth is, without emotional awareness and regulation, even the strongest attraction can wither under pressure.

The good news? EQ isn’t fixed—it’s a skill you can grow. With practice, you can learn to pause before reacting, listen to understand instead of to respond, and create space for your partner’s emotions without judgment.

In this video, Dr. Amanda shares 3 simple, actionable steps to start boosting your EQ today. From mindful self-check-ins, to active listening techniques, to building empathy through everyday habits—you’ll learn how to connect on a deeper level and transform the way you love.

Your relationship doesn’t have to be stuck in cycles of miscommunication. By strengthening your EQ, you can build more trust, more intimacy, and more resilience in your partnership.

✨ Start now: watch the full video and take the first step toward the love life you truly deserve.

Couples Communication Strategies

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.