Does Long-Distance Relationship Work? 

 

To be able to respond to the question ‘Does long-distance relationships work?’ we’ll first have to look into context. Some long-distance relationships work, and others don’t. 

It’s important to look closer at couples who have managed to maintain their relationship for years, no matter how far and for how long they were apart. 

What are they doing to stay in love and dedicated to their relationship? How do they keep things interesting while being apart? This article investigates what long-distance relationships need.

 

Benefits of Long-Distance Relationships

Before we explore what works and what doesn’t in this type of relationship, let’s remind us all of some valuable benefits long-distance has for a relationship. Unlike conventional relationships, you are not able to parallel play, meaning you spend time snuggled together watching TV, doing chores, or scrolling on your phones while sitting on your couch. 

With long-distance relationships (LDRs), the time you dedicate to each other is often more valuable than that of couples who live together. When you’re on a call with each other, you are interested in hearing about their day and the details. Your conversations are more dynamic and depthful because you don’t have other clues besides the information they’re giving you. 

Another thing that long-distance relationships help with is strengthening independence. Let’s admit it: we’re all guilty of falling in love with a new person, and our world starts revolving around them and their needs. With LDRs, the distance actually helps you maintain your old habits and connections. 

Knowing that your partner is not with you physically puts more focus on the need to maintain social interactions with other people and nurture your own life. 

In relation to physical intimacy, those who have lived with a partner for an extended period of time are aware of how sex can be neglected. With LDRs, you’re anticipating the arrival of your partner and often have a yearning desire to make up for the time you were apart. 

 

Factors that Make Long-Distance Relationships Work

If you’ve met the right person yet they don’t live in your city or even country, there is a way to make your long-distance relationship work. You may have been encouraged by some of your friends or family not to invest time in this relationship. I get that—as I was once a young adult who told someone not to invest in their love that was across the world. 

However, if you’re in love and you know this is your person, you just know. It doesn’t matter where they live. Fortunately, there are factors that can help you make that LDR work and transform it into one of the best experiences of your life. Isn’t that what love is about, after all—enhancing the life you have? 

 

Effective Communication

Communication is key in all relationships, especially in long-distance relationships. It is critical to understand which communication styles you both prefer, as well as how to communicate and prioritize information shared during your conversation. 

If you’re in an LDR, take some time to work on your communication strategy. Which things are unacceptable for you? Meaning, are there boundaries you have to clearly state that they may not understand? 

Similarly, which things do you need from your partner when you’re sharing something intimate or vulnerable? Do you want emotional attunement or problem solving alongside one another? 

Sharing these points can help you understand each other better and connect on a more meaningful level. Similarly, it will stop you from having arguments that could have been avoided.

 

Set Mutual Goals

Setting common goals can help you feel more like a team. This goal can be visiting each other, going on a vacation together, or ultimately moving in instead of having parallel lives. 

Whatever the goal, make sure you both are dedicated to working towards achieving it. It’s not so much about the goal as it is about the shared passion you have for something. 

This can remind you that although you’re not close to each other, you have the same goals and values for this relationship. 

These goals don’t have to be as big as vacations or spending months together. You can plan a Friday date night where you’d each go to your favorite restaurant and meet back up after for a video call. Take photos of the menu and meals so you can share later if you would like! This can help you get through a stressful week when you might not have much time for each other. 

 

Motivate Each Other to be Independent 

Despite the temptation to maintain constant connection, independence is essential in all relationships. If you notice that your partner is feeling a bit down these days, keep in mind that face-to-face interactions can help them feel a bit better. I suggest that they go meet a friend or go to the gym for a fitness class to workout alongside new people. 

It’s unrealistic for both yourself and your partner to believe that you are the only person who can help them in such a situation. Friends, colleagues, and people we meet in our everyday lives are incredibly important and can have a positive impact on how we connect with our romantic partners. 

 

Trust

Relationships can’t survive without trust. If there is a lack of trust between you and your partner, it will affect your entire relationship. If you start questioning where they have been or who they are talking to, maybe ask for a calendar to see how they spend their free time. Most often, if we have no proof that we can’t trust our romantic partner, it is about ourselves rather than them. If this is the case for you and you make up stories about what your partner could be doing, consider talking to a therapist who can help you explore the source of this. 

LDRs require a lot of trust. If this is an issue in your relationship, talk to your partner as well. Opening up about this topic and sharing what you need to feel safe can help them provide you with what you need. Keep in mind that trust is something that is built; it’s not given. In other words, find ways to build and maintain the trust that works for you both. Some people want to see browser histories and others want to be prioritized on weekend nights for video calls. 

 

All Relationships Require Work

Do not be discouraged if all of your friends have romantic partners and you are the only one in a long-distance relationship. All relationships require work, regardless of their form. You have to get to know the person to be able to connect with them in a way that is beneficial for both of you. Relationships between two people all look different, so comparing yourself won’t matter. Your life while visiting your long-distance partner looks much different than your life when you and your partner aren’t near one another. 

Once you’ve passed that first stage of being in love, you’ll still need to dedicate a lot of your time and energy to strengthening your relationship. Whether it’s looking for efficient techniques to manage discussions or to learn each other’s love language, there is something new to learn about your partner. The moment you don’t have something new to learn is the moment Eros has fallen asleep in the romance. Instead, continue to discover who your beloved is, as this will help you maintain the spark that many couples report losing. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

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