Why Men Need Sex and What Drives Their Desire?

 

Many stereotypes exist around sexuality, and learning why men need sex can help you learn all about male sexuality. Is it true that they need more sex than women, or is this a myth we’ve been telling ourselves as a society? Do men and women seek the same when engaging in sexual activities?

Instead of simply supporting or going against this claim, we’ve decided to dig deeper to understand what drives male sexuality. Whatever your sexual identity or orientation is, you can benefit from this article. It will help you understand the men in your life, whether friends, romantic partners, or family members, and how they go about in this area. 

 

The Biology Behind Male Desire

All genders have testosterone to some extent. However, in males, the testicles produce testosterone, the primary male sex hormone. Testosterone is crucial for developing male characteristics like muscle growth, body hair, a deeper voice, and sexual desire. 

Testosterone is responsible for several actions in male bodies:

• Stimulates sexual desire
• Supports erectile function
• Affects sexual thoughts and fantasies
• Drives morning erections

When talking about sexual desire, also known as libido, it’s important to highlight that it’s also influenced by emotional connection, stress levels, mental health, relationship quality, and life circumstances. This influence is what explains the fact that even though all men have testosterone, they don’t feel an equal level of sexual desire. 

In other words, just because someone is a man doesn’t mean they will have an immense libido. One of the common misconceptions about sexual desire is that it’s fixed. Your sexual desire can decrease and increase depending on the above-mentioned factors. If you need help with your performance, get STIFF. 

You might notice you had a strong libido last year when you started your new job and felt excited about this new chapter in your life. That level of sexual desire could decrease as soon as you start feeling overwhelmed with job responsibilities. Although every person is different, there are certain factors that can explain low or high libido. 

 

Emotional and Psychological Drivers

For men and women, sex is a form of emotional connection. We seek it when we want to feel closer to someone or when we feel attracted to a new person we’ve met. Especially in long relationships, sex becomes a form of connection between two partners rather than just a physical act. 

For many men, sex is a way to seek love and validation. Whether in a relationship or not, men see physical intimacy as emotional reassurance. It can help them feel more desirable or loved, connected to someone they also find important, safe, and so much more. 

 

Self-Esteem and Masculinity

Sex can also benefit a man’s confidence and boost his self-worth. The inability to engage in sexual activity, whether with their romantic partner or with individuals they are seeing, can negatively impact their self-perception. 

In most cases, self-esteem and masculinity are the same for men. People around them shape their self-worth. If other people see them as masculine, strong, and sexy, their self-esteem grows. If they are not perceived that way, they will probably struggle with self-worth issues. This is one of the crucial differences between male and female sexuality. 

Cultural and societal pressures contribute to various notions. For example, men are expected to constantly be ready for sex and to be good at it. They are still seen as hunters, especially by other men. In most cases, these are their friends, brothers, and often, fathers. 

From an early age, boys are taught to be tough, not to cry, and never to be afraid. Masculinity is being awarded so early in life that when they grow up, most of them still follow the same rules. It’s not uncommon for men to be advised to get over someone they love by having sex with another person. 

However, this societal pressure doesn’t have realistic expectations. Men seek sex for more than just enjoyment and to be viewed as manly; they are emotional creatures. 

 

Stress Relief and Mood Regulation

Of course, we can’t talk about sexuality without mentioning the psychological benefits of sex. The focus isn’t on whether men need sex more than women. Sex can have a positive impact on how you deal with stress and regulate your mood.  (dopamine, oxytocin, stress reduction).

During sex, and especially orgasm, your brain releases a powerful cocktail of chemicals. These chemicals are dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Dopamine boosts pleasure, oxytocin strengthens bonding, and endorphins elevate your mood and reduce stress. This doesn’t mean that you should have sex all the time just to release these chemicals. It simply implies that having a healthy approach to your own sexuality can be gratifying in so many ways. 

 

Societal Conditioning 

We’ve mentioned a bit of societal pressure above. Being such a huge factor in male sexuality, it deserves more explanation. In most cultures, boys and girls are raised very differently. When they grow up, they look to meet the expectations others have of them. 

One such expectation is that men are sexually driven all the time. They should always be ready for sex and perform at their best. This is why issues with erections are never talked about as openly as issues that women may face (low libido, dry vagina, etc.). 

 

Therapy for Men

Because of societal conditioning, men will be more reluctant to seek romantic or sexual guidance from a therapist. For most men, talking to a professional would mean admitting they have a problem with their sexuality, which would affect their ego immediately. However, not all men are the same. 

Those who start therapy to work on their relationship or sexuality become more aware of the factors that impact their overall well-being and start prioritizing their desires and expectations over someone else’s. They become more relaxed and comfortable with themselves, which also helps them feel better with their sexuality. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.