How to Express Anger Professionally Without Burning Bridges

It’s expected that you will become upset at your work, so learning how to express anger professionally is essential for everyone. Some emotions are easier to handle, while others, such as anger, might take control over us if not managed properly. As much as anger is a natural human emotion, it can lead to numerous negative consequences if expressed unprofessionally at work.

If you’re struggling with expressing your anger, learn how to channel it in a constructive way so it leads to resolution, not conflict. Explore effective techniques in this article and consider applying them to prevent any potential impact on your career and professional relationships.

Understanding Anger in a Professional Context

If you’ve ever witnessed a situation at work where someone was frustrated, it was probably unpleasant for everyone. Unfortunately, most people are not sure how to handle their anger, so they lose control over their words and actions. People get angry for several reasons, from unmet expectations and miscommunication to workload and unfair treatment. It’s not about whether you can be frustrated; it’s about how to express it professionally.

There is a difference between healthy anger and destructive anger. When you express your anger in a healthy way, it will not damage your relationships or the way your colleagues and superiors see you. Yelling at your coworkers, swearing at them (instead of about the problem), damaging property (even if it’s your own), being snappy, and sarcasm are the most common forms of destructive anger at work.

If you feel or have been told that the way you manage your anger is an issue, you will need to first recognize your own anger triggers. Understanding what causes your anger is the first step to changing this situation. When thinking about the potential triggers, keep in mind that your anger can also result from your personal life, such as marital issues or debt.

Another list that could benefit you while exploring your anger is a list of symptoms.

Journal prompt:

How do you know you are angry?
What are your first reactions when you become frustrated at work?
How does this emotion feel in your body?

Write down all this information without holding back. The idea is to be able to detect the rise of your symptoms before it’s too late.

Pausing Instead of Reacting

Unlike sadness or fear, anger is one of the emotions that often quickly escalates to a visible reaction. You might feel the urge to yell at a colleague or throw the first thing you see, yet such behavior is highly unprofessional, regardless of the circumstances. This is where your list of symptoms and triggers will be quite beneficial.

Go through each trigger and think about how to avoid reacting to it. For instance, if your superior is constantly criticizing you, how can you reduce exposure to such a situation to a minimum? Do the same with the symptoms. If you always feel hot in your body when you’re about to explode in rage, pay attention to such a symptom. When it appears, go outside for a few minutes or go to a place where you can be on your own until you calm down.

Remembering that you have control over your reaction is crucial. In the event of a heated discussion with your coworkers, it is advisable to take a moment before responding. That is not to say that you can’t say anything. Instead, wait until the symptoms are gone, and speak your mind. Speaking honestly and respectfully with those around you can greatly benefit you, particularly during difficult times.

So, what can you do instead? If you don’t have time to isolate yourself, you can stay in the situation and focus on your breathing. Take a long inhale and an even longer exhale. Repeat as many times as necessary until you feel calmer.

Another thing you can try out is the grounding exercises. You can start looking for certain objects in the room, touch a curtain behind you, or simply count backwards. If the situation requires feedback from you and you feel frustrated, you can suggest to the other person to revisit this topic later, whether in a few minutes, hours, or the next day.

Reframing Anger Into Assertiveness

Your anger will not magically disappear, especially if the triggers are work-related. That is why it’s important to reframe your anger into assertiveness. The way you communicate shows the type of professional you are. You might control all your physical anger symptoms, but learning how to communicate assertively will bring you closer to your team and benefit your career.

When angry, you probably tend to say, “I’m feeling angry because …” In a professional environment, it’s best to turn these statements into requests: “I need support” or “I feel overworked.” Before sharing this situation with someone, please have a clear understanding of your requests to solve the issue, not just your negative feelings.

It’s important to recognize that anger can sometimes cause us to blame others for our reactions and outcomes, so please ensure you take responsibility where necessary. Similarly, don’t forget that your workplace is not an appropriate place to vent about your emotions. Focus on solving problems and finding alternatives to obstacles you find along the way.

For example, imagine you’re working on a project with a colleague who refuses to collaborate. The old you might have stormed into your boss’s office to complain that they’re unbearable. Instead, speak to your colleague first. State your needs and boundaries clearly. If nothing changes, invite them to join you in a meeting with your superior.

Communication Strategies That Keep Bridges Intact

Maintaining healthy relationships is even more important for people who easily get frustrated than for those who don’t. Once you feel that everything is okay, you might start to ignore the red flags that accumulate and result in anger. That is why it’s important to implement communication strategies that work for you and keep them running continuously. Clear boundaries, active listening, and solution-focused dialogue are just a few such strategies that have proven to work efficiently in workplaces. With time, you will notice how communication is your most valuable tool for preventing anger from taking over your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you deal with anger and resentment at work?

If you feel frustrated at work, start by writing a list of your triggers and symptoms. Consider ways to minimize or avoid the triggers after you’ve put them in writing. Take a quick walk or withdraw to a private area when you feel an anger symptom starting to appear. Get ice cubes if you can or wash your hands in the coldest water you have for 30-60 seconds.

Which techniques help to express anger professionally?

There are numerous ways to express your anger professionally, including setting boundaries, communicating assertively, and actively listening. If you are upset with someone, ensure that your emphasis is on expressing your needs rather than blaming their behavior.

How can I turn anger into something productive?

Anger is not a negative emotion. It helps us understand what matters to us. Use your triggers as indications of which situations you wish to avoid and think about boundaries you can put in place to not get angry in the future.

To inquire about how we can provide mental health and well-being coaching services for your employees, please email us at info@lcatllc.com

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