Autistic Dating: Dating Someone With Autism
If you want to learn everything about autistic dating, dating someone with autism is what this blog is about. Unfortunately, there is not much talk about neurodivergent folks and exploring romantic relationships. However, just like everybody else, those of us on the spectrum deal with many ups and downs when seeking their romantic partner.
People on the Spectrum will not Only Date Autistic People
If you’re uncertain whether it is recommended to start autistic dating, you will be happy to hear that people with autism often date all people. Autism is a spectrum, so you may not even realize if your crush has autism, at least during the first few dates. Both you and the person you’re dating are looking for someone to connect with, and autism rarely blocks the way when it comes to dating and relationships.
Consider Date Spots
You might think that a dimly lit bar might be an excellent place for a first day, yet someone on the spectrum may not feel comfortable in that surrounding. A person on the spectrum could easily become uncomfortable or distracted in loud, crowded places. As they may have heightened senses, autistic people will consider flashing lights and loud noises quite unpleasant. Rather than going to a bar, consider going for a walk or sitting on the bench in the park.
Talk about Physical Affection
When you’ve been dating for a while, you will probably want to hug that person, hold hands or kiss them. People on the spectrum also desire that physical affection, however, it’s recommended to discuss it with them. Don’t just surprise them by trying to hold their hand when walking. When it comes to any type of physical contact, please discuss preferences first.
If your partner is autistic, they might need a bit of encouragement and practice to start feeling comfortable with physical love.
Embrace Their Higher Emotional Capacity
Many studies have shown that people on the spectrum will typically experience emotions and feelings stronger and deeper than those who are not. If you’re not aware of it, these feelings might be completely invisible to you and you might miss your partner’s current state. However, be willing to connect with your autistic partner if you don’t understand the depth or display of their emotions.
The best way to understand it is by talking to them about it. Just like in any relationship, we all tend to react or feel differently about certain things, so the more you talk about it, the better you will understand.
Prepare for Honesty
One thing that most people will say they love about people on the spectrum is their curt honesty. If you ask them about their opinion, they will give it to you – the good and the bad. For instance, if you ask them if they like your new haircut and they don’t, they will not lie to you.
The thing you’ll need to keep in mind is that your crush or your partner is that they are sharing their truth. This also means that if they compliment you or say ‘I love you’ for the first time, they mean it.
Introduce Changes Slowly
An autistic person may prefer stability and familiarity over change and dynamic. Many enjoy maintaining the same interests over decades, so changing their taste in music, movies, food, or fashion may not happen.
If there is a need to introduce a change in a life of a person with autism, be sure to do it slowly and make sure they are well informed about it at all times. Just because they don’t prefer changes doesn’t mean they are not able to adapt to new situations. It simply means it will take more time.
Regardless of the autism, you are two different individuals who will not agree on everything and do things the same way, and that’s completely normal. However, if you’re dating a person with autism, be mindful of their sensitivities of experiences they encounter and try to be as supportive as you can.
When dating someone, it’s crucial to listen and truly think about the perspective of that person, so the more attention you give to your conversations, the better partner you will be to a person with autism.
About Life Coaching and Therapy
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!
Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer), PhD, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.