Polyamory

Polyamory - THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE

 Polyamory -THE #1 DIVORCE ALTERNATIVE 

2 out of 3 Millennials choose this alternative rather than divorcing. 

polyamory

If you aren’t in the queer, non-heteronormative communities, you may not even know what I am talking about. 

Polyamory is the new norm. Polyamory is the practice of loving multiple people - intimately and sometimes sexually. 

Why go through a divorce when you can just be honest about desiring an open sexual and romantic relationship? 

“Is swinging becoming a thing again?” asks one of my Baby Boomer clients after reading something on Facebook.

“Swinging never really went anywhere. However, they have added love. It’s called polyamory.” I respond. 

Swinging HAS been and will always be a thing. What is new is the amount of people who want to try polyamory as the newest form of relationship. 

Have you thought about OPENING up your relationship? 

What the hell is polyamory or non-monogamy? 

polyamory

Non-monogamy or open relationships are broad terms for sexual and romantic relationship styles ranging from SWINGING to POLYAMORY to KINK PLAY PARTNERS to MONOGAMISH!

Confused yet? I was too at first! 

Millennials appear to be opening the door to open relationships instead of just having one-night stands or fun with a partner on the weekend. 

From what I have heard, people state it is more of an intersectional feminist approach where everyone gets to build relationships and their IDENTITY on their own terms. 

Monogamy and polyamory are both relationship strategies. I know it may seem weird, but it is true. 

One is not superior to the other. It is a matter of choice and personal preference.

 

Are you scared of your partner asking you for polyamory? Well, you can suggest different forms of open relationship! 

  • Monogamish is a long-term committed relationship that bend the rules of monogamy with the consent of both parties. It can include dancing or kissing others. 
  • Open relationships means that you are in an open sexual and / or romantic relationship with more than one person.
  • Polyamory is the practice of loving more than one person at a time. Like… one time, I was married and had a boyfriend all at once. Those relationships are all over. But it was a part of me and a way of life for a long time! 

Successful polyamorous individuals establish guidelines about what is and is not cheating, and frequently have safer-sex conversations.

  • Non-monogamy means that people have sexual relationships other than their one partner. MAKE SURE YOU NOTE THAT THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE! 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your relationship and ignite your sex life at What We Do. Call or text us at 203-733-9600, or make an appointment.

 


Breaking Up

By Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT, CST

 

I am here to talk about getting over the pain and struggles you encounter after breaking up.

 

Breaking up absolutely sucks. We all know it! So… how long do we lay in bed, eat ice cream, and cry? Well, that is different for everyone. But, I promise, you can get over it!

 

Step 1 - Re-write the story. We all need to come up with the reason of why this happened. Whether we are doing the break up or we were broken up with, we need to know WHY! Until we find out the “why,” we will keep going over and over the details in our mind. So, take some time and find out why it happened. Then, leave it alone. Even if it was your bad attitude, your partner left you, so now give them space and change your attitude for the next partner you will have.

 

Step 2 - Do not be obsessive. Get out of the crazy mentality of “stalking” your ex. Please, please delete them from all social media. You really don’t need to see what they are doing or have them know what you are doing. The quicker you begin to unravel the life you had made together, the better it will be.

 

Step 3 - Accept the facts. Being aware of what happened and not getting attached to your negative thoughts and feelings will ultimately bring peace. A breakup is a traumatic event and it is difficult to self-reflect at times. Things like meditation, yoga, therapy, and prayer can help you become more self-reflective AND can help give you some grounding during a chaotic time.

 

Step 4 - They were not the perfect partner. No matter who they were, they were not perfect. No one is; therefore, you can find someone else. Even if it feels like they made life better, there are other people out there to meet that will have the same effect. I promise, there is more than one person out there for everyone.

 

Step 5 - Look to your future. You are a whole individual and you are not defined by your romantic relationships. You need to find you self-identity without a partner. What do you like to do? Bowl, hike, martial arts, painting, drama club, archery? Action is faster than any thought… so instead of thinking all day, join a group and DO something.