What is Tantric Sex?

Many people think that tantric sex is similar to “Kama Sutra”, but it has nothing to do with it.

The “Kama Sutra” is a book with a series of sexual postures, and tantric sex refers to the practice of Tantra, which is a philosophy and method from India that enhances the sexual experience.

Tantric sex practice is not based on ejaculation as the milestone, but on feeling and asking for what you want. It is about women having the highest number of orgasms possible and men enduring ejaculation so that they can last as long as they want to during sex.

“Sex is the door to something powerful and mystical,” said American filmmaker David Lynch, but for some, it’s just a repetitive ‘get-out’ that has no other intention than to achieve a passing orgasm.

The secret of tantric sex lies in putting aside the urgency of orgasm, and concentrating on thoughtful and delicate movements. It is about using the whole body and mind, and having a constant and patient strategy to enable a couple to melt together slowly.

Caressing and being caressed stimulates the senses. Each “conscious touch” such as blowing, licking, and sucking the part of the body that your partner likes can be a drop of fullness, just like kissing. Sounds are also very stimulating, such as a whisper, sigh, moan, cry and scream.

In the practice of conscious love, there is nothing more important than connecting with the eyes, which transmit compassion, mischief, pleasure and complicity.

The most important thing about sexual positions and movements is that they are comfortable and allow a couple to express tenderness or excitement. Forward, backward, up or down – everything is valid.

Tantric sex does not have a gender specificity. Tantra seeks fullness and advises men to explore their feminine side and women to find their masculine qualities. An example is the representation of Shiva-Shakti, the creator god and the supreme energy of creation. In the Khajuraho temples you can see figures of men having relationships with men and women having sex with women.

In conventional sex, a man feels an orgasm and simultaneously ejaculates, but in tantric sex he does not ejaculate so he can continue with the sexual act. This is possible with self-control and concentration. A man has to train his body in order to gain this level of self control. Some tips for self control include:

Strengthening the Pubococcygeus muscle (the one that surrounds the pelvic area)
Practice and understand what your “point of no return” is
Control your breathing

In this way, it is possible for a man to have a controlled orgasm so he can continue with the sexual act for a longer period of time.

How to practice tantric sex?

Tantric sex creates connections and teaches a new way of making love, so being nervous and trying to feel immediate pleasure will only be a distraction.

There are 7 key steps, which you and your partner can control:

1. Prepare the Environment

Start by preparing a welcoming and stimulating environment to create a quiet and calm moment for both of you to share.

Dim the lights in the room.
Have a subtle aroma that you both like.
Play very soft music.
Remove anything that can interrupt or distract, such as a mobile phone.

2. Breathe

Breathing is very important since it allows the connection between two people to be extended.

Begin by becoming aware of each other’s breathing until you can hear it as if it were one.
Keep the same rhythm of breathing throughout the entire practice of tantric sex.

3. Observe

Allow yourself to observe and be observed.

While sitting facing each other and breathing in a single rhythm, look into each other’s eyes.
It is normal to feel embarrassed or awkward at first, but try not to lower your eyes or start laughing.
Keep your gaze fixed on each other for as long as possible.

4. Feel

Integrate the sense of touch.

Caress each other and feel the body of your partner.
Make stimulating massage motions.
Stop at parts of the body that you haven’t discovered before, and take your time to touch and feel without losing the rhythm of your breathing.
Allow yourself to enjoy all those sensations that appear throughout the body and see how they increase. Each kiss and caress is much greater, because you are both present in the moment.

5. Trust

This is the point when you can open up more and trust your partner.

Close your eyes and let yourself be carried away by him/her
Trust what your partner does so that you can enjoy this experience with total freedom and achieve mutual balance.

6. Forget the time

Live in the moment and don’t think about the time.

With tantric sex, excitement should increase progressively and not quickly or
Don’t anticipate ejaculation as in traditional sex.
It is very important that you give yourself the time to feel all the stimulations in each part of the body, and be very aware of each sensation.
It possible to experience non-genital orgasms that feel more like a whole-body orgasm.

7. Dance

You must allow your bodies to dance in perfect balance, moving at your own pace until your bodies create this momentum.

Try these 7 tantric sex steps and enjoy the experience!

Tantric Sex Health Benefits

There are a lot of health benefits when it comes to tantric sex. The practice of this method will positively affect the chemistry of your brain. These are some of the healthy hormones and chemicals released by the endocrine glands during positive sexual experiences:

Oxytocin: The “cuddle hormone”, oxytocin may be conditioned to release after a pattern of sex with the same lover has been established. This is what we think of as a “chemical attraction” or “having chemistry” with another person.
Human Growth Hormone (HGH): A natural growth hormone that helps maintain the health of tissues and organs, smoothing the skin, and increasing vitality, energy, and resilience. No wonder HGH is sometimes referred to as the “Fountain of Youth.”
Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA): This hormone functions as the precursor in the development of sexual hormones – estrogen in women and testosterone in men.
Serotonin: The “happy” neurotransmitter helps regulate mood and feelings associated with wellbeing, sexuality, and appetite. It is also a natural sleep aid.

In conclusion, the benefits achieved with the simple yet powerful tantric sex variation include sexual and relationship rejuvenation, increased vitality, and also the destruction of various “taboos”. We invite you to let your curiosity guide you and enjoy this great technique.

Start your journey here

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.