Tied Up Sex – Why do People Enjoy it?
Tied Up Sex – Why do People Enjoy it?
Are you curious about what people enjoy about tied up sex?
Are you confused or afraid of people’s motivation for doing bondage or binding with their partners?
When you ask people what they enjoy about tied up sex, you will get a wide variety of answers and a few awkward jokes.
You will find that most binding practitioners are motivated largely by their partners pleasure.
To really understand tied up sex, you first have to tunderstand what makes a person want to be bound.
Why do People Enjoy Tied Up Sex?
Control
Some do it for control, or the “feeling of control.”
We’re talking about consensual bondage so your partner (the one being tied up) can take control back at any moment with a safeword or a prearranged signal.
Why control though?
What is it about control that is so appealing?
I think that in many cases it is related to the contrast with daily life.
Very often at work and in life we feel no sense of certainty or structure at all.
Your boss may seem to micromanage your every move. You may feel like your life isn’t your own if you have to care for a crying baby every day. Or you are held captive to your mobile phone to respond to pinging text messages.
During the bondage process,, you can experience an awesome feeling of “presentness” that we rarely achieve in our daily lives.
This can lead to a powerful sense of caregiving.
Fun and Mischief
I think another reason people like to tie people up during sex is for fun – pure mischief.
There are some people that just can’t resist the opportunity for mischief. You may have felt this before when you unexpectedly encountered a friend sleeping.
Did you stop to consider for just a moment the fun of that situation? Wasn’t that thought fun, even if you didn’t act on it?
It is no coincidence that often one of the first things neophyte bondage do is tickle their “victims.”
Relieve Modesty
For some it can be about enjoying the helplessness of their partner. This may be particularly true if your partner is a bit shy with their body. Binding enables you to relieve them of their modesty while you explore them more
carefully at your leisure.
Exhibitionism and Thrill Seeking
For some, it is about exhibitionism and thrill seeking. This is particularly true of those that attend bondage events.
They enjoy showing off their skills doing crazy circus tricks to be admired by other attendees. It isn’t as shallow as it sounds, because it’s a bonding community experience to share kinks with other like-minded people.
Overcome the Fear of Rejection
If your partner is bound and gagged, then they can’t really express judgement of what you want, however with consensual bondage, they can withdraw consent.
Sometimes this can be helpful for those that may suffer from performance anxiety or shame about their sexual desires.
Often the person tying can discover desires that they didn’t realize they even had once their partner is bound.
Aesthetic
There are some that simply enjoy the aesthetic appeal of the bound body. They are willing to go to great lengths to decorate and adorn their partner to make them into their fantasy object.
It is a way that many people receive significance. They create art with their bodies in beautiful rope patterns between the rigger (or rope artist) and the model. Then, they take pictures so they have their art in their mind. It can be printed so the moment is captured forever.
Fetish
This article wouldn’t be complete without addressing the pure fetish aspect of it. Some people just need bondage to be able to function sexually at all.
For these people who so often feel rejected for their deviant desires, the trust of a willing participant is incredibly healing.
Kinky Sex: How to Get Started
Kinky Sex 2.0: Escape Boredom in the Bedroom
About Life Coaching and Therapy
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!
Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.
Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.
