Real Sex Begins with a “Yes”

 

When it comes to real sex, it begins with enthusiastic consent in the form of a “yes.” 

 

If you are waiting for a no, this isn’t the type of real sex we are talking about. 

 

Actually, unless there is a deep “yes” from others, most people are not interested in the sexual situation. 

 

There is a caveat for those who are partnered for over 3 years though… sometimes, these partners are used to hearing “no”. Therefore, when it comes to sex, they will take any sign as a yes. 

 

If you think about it though… seducing ANYONE requires the receiving partner’s WILLINGNESS to receive initiation. If they aren’t a yes, they aren’t interested.  

 

When You Check In With Your Partner, You Have To Be Sure That They Are WILLING!

 

If they are acting numb, avoiding you, or even making up excuses, there is no consent to be engaging with them. If you aren’t getting the real sex you need, it may be time to have a discussion about sex therapy or a change in the relationship. 

In AASECT supervision to become a certified sex therapist, it took me two years to learn that “without willingness, there is no way.” 

 

Not even the best of lovers can begin with approaching real sex and pleasure with someone who has a resistance to trying. 

 

If your partner(s) is/are not willing, remain curious. Remain appreciative of your partner and curious instead of expecting something and then being critical. 

 

They may come around. Sometimes clients report the more curious they are, the more willing their partner has become. 

 

Therefore, check in mind, heart, and genitals. 

 

See if there is a YES or a NO to real partner sex.

 

If you want MORE than a YES or a NO. Then please use the YES spectrum below, a scale of 0-10, to see how each part of you feels when it comes to giving a “yes.” 

If you have any questions, or for clients hoping to take their intimate lives to the next level through personalized sessions on YOUR terms, learn more about our Text Therapy Program.

 

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.