Why Unicorn Hunting is Taboo in Open Relationships

 

Unicorn hunting is a term used in a relationship where a couple seeks a third person for their relationship. Together as a couple, unicorn hunting is seen as unethical in ways because what they are looking for is as rare as a unicorn. 

Moreover, the pair is thinking that they are such an amazing relationship, why wouldn’t someone want to join them? Many times an other-sex couple will be looking for a bisexual partner. . 

So why are some people in open relationships called unicorn hunters? 

What’s the Fuss Around Unicorn Hunting?

Many polyamorous people consider the fact that heterosexual couples exclusively want to date together. 

The reality is that many LGBTQIA2+ individuals – and women in particular – frequently feel objectified by couples looking for a third partner on dating apps. Instead of an ethically non-monogamous relationship with others, the couple anticipates their unicorn to be sexually and romantically exclusive with just them. 

Unicorn hunting is seen as taboo because it is expected that the unicorn is attracted to both them. The unicorn is supposed to be only interested in being with the couple romantically and sexually. Yet unless they have exclusivity and fidelity, the dynamic between the original couple and their unicorn is unique and separate, because if you are unicorn hunting, the pair is not looking to integrate the third person into the relationship.

In fact, if the couple is successful in their search, things might not always turn out well for that unicorn, because the couple is objectifying that person as a way to meet their needs. Sometimes, it can be severely strained by the inclusion of a third party, and sometimes this leads to chaos in households while integrating the unicorn. 

Furthermore, many people believe that “unicorn hunting” is just a means for men in relationships to have extramarital affairs with other women, while remaining confident their partner isn’t cheating.

Who is a Unicorn Hunter?

Sometimes it is difficult to know if a couple is a unicorn hunter, or actually an ethically non monogamous dyad where each individual is looking to date. 

At times, unicorn hunters will often use the wife’s / woman’s profile on their dating apps, and the majority of the photos in these profiles are of the woman in the couple, with only a few with her partner. 

When you read “M+F,” “couple looking for a third,” then we know that they are looking for an add-on of exclusivity. 

If a couple is approaching a person outside the dating apps, they must be honest about their intentions from the beginning. 

Putting Feelings in the Center

Every relationship has its challenges and most of them will affect our feelings in one way or another. In an open relationship, there is a need to take care of more than just yourself and your partner. This might even be more complicated if you and your partner have been in a relationship for a while and are inviting a new person to your relationship.

The dynamic of your relationship will change, and if you don’t manage it well, the relationship might end up with more than one broken heart. This is why honesty and open communication are pillars of successful open relationships. Being aware of the needs and feelings of your partners allows you to understand and treat them better, which ultimately leads to a healthier relationship.

Tips for a Successful Unicorn Hunting

If you and your partner are interested in finding a person to join your relationship, certain things might help you have a positive experience. 

Please, consider having a conversation with your partner about the idea of bringing others into your relationship. This helps you avoid any misunderstandings or issues that might arise between the two of you. 

If you’re not on the same page, it is difficult to imagine that a new person will ease the tension. Quite the opposite, a new person will only be one more reason for your disagreement. 

Also, consider talking to another couple that was unicorn hunting if you decide you want to do it. 

Someone who has already had a successful throuple or triad might provide you with the best advice on what to do and what to avoid. If you can’t find that person, you can seek people who have shared their positive unicorn hunting experiences online.

In Final Words 

As you can see, there are plenty of reasons why unicorn hunting remains a taboo in open relationships. 

Communication is key to successful relationships, both monogamous and polyamorous. Talk to your partner first about the idea of unicorn hunting and brainstorm some ways to ethically date instead. 

You may find the right person for your relationship, it just might require 5x the time and effort, with patience and attempts to make requests and use boundaries. 

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