Why Do Serial Cheaters Want to Stay Married?

 

Today, we’ve decided to answer a difficult question: why do serial cheaters want to stay married? Cheating has been around forever. Yet we still turn our heads away from this topic, crossing our fingers it never happens to us. Truth be told, cheating happens, and often, there is not much you can do about it. A person who wants to cheat will find a way to, even if they are in a relationship with the best person they ever met. 

If you have fallen in love with a cheater who thinks your love is enough to keep them from being intimate with others. This article is for you. 

 

How to Recognize a Serial Cheater

Before responding to the big question, let’s look into the common signs of a serial cheater. After all, it’s possible to be in a relationship or a marriage with a serial cheater and not be aware of it. 

 

Lies, Lies, Lies

To be a cheater, you have to be comfortable with lying. Cheaters lie about their whereabouts, needs, desires, and feelings in their marriage. In most cases, they will never try to improve their marriage or speak their mind on something that bothers them. For instance, if they need more sex, they will look for it outside the marriage instead of talking to their spouse about it. 

That is why it’s recommended to pay attention to their words. Do they lie when they talk to others? Have they lied to you about anything else?

 

They Hide Their Phone

While it’s understandable to want privacy when communicating with others. A partner who hides their tablet, laptop, or phone from you might be doing so because they have something to hide. This also applies to spouses who don’t hide their gadgets yet are very possessive about them. For instance, they will never leave their phone on the table and go to another room. 

 

Mental Health Issues 

Their emotional health problems may not have been addressed yet. Underlying conditions may range from primary psychiatric conditions, like bipolar disorder, to impulse-control disorders, like ADHD or substance-induced behavioral disorders. Sexual addiction or attachment issues may also be a key factor here. 

 

They Believe You Forced Them into Monogamy

They think that the monogamy agreement you made is overrated or act as though sex isn’t a big concern. If someone does not seem interested in committing to you, believe them. This kind of thinking is typical of someone who has cheated on their relationships. Please remember that open relationships with mutual respect differ greatly from marrying someone who doesn’t believe in monogamy.

 

How Serial Cheating Impacts Your Marriage

Serial cheating is unhealthy for all parties involved because it affects the cheater as well as the one being cheated on. How you react to being cheated on might be influenced by your personal relationship history. For the person being cheated on, this behavior could feed into past trauma and actually keep the partner engaged in a negative loop.

On the other hand, a positive relationship history might make it easier for you to leave the situation faster. The partner who has been cheated on will usually move on from the relationship and avoid the drama of further negative behavior if they have a healthy attachment process and high self-esteem.

Whatever your decision might be, it should be clear that cheating is not a problem you should solve together. It’s your partner’s issue, and they should have full responsibility for solving it and ensuring it never happens again with you or other partners. 

 

Why Serial Cheaters Marry

Having all this in mind, the question still remains: ‘Why do serial cheaters want to stay married?’ Of course, the answer might vary depending on the person, yet there are some common reasons. 

Firstly, they might decide to marry to meet the expectations of others. Their family might be traditional, or their career might be affected by such a decision. Being married can be seen as a mature, responsible decision and could lead to others seeing the serial cheater as something completely opposite to his nature. 

Secondly, they might believe they are capable of changing. A serial cheater might even want to be faithful to their spouse, have children with them. And leave their mistakes in their past. However, they will probably quickly go back to cheating. 

Thirdly, serial cheaters typically want a comfortable life. Marrying someone who will care for them and ensure they have everything they need could be just one of their many selfish decisions. Such a person will look for a dedicated, caring spouse who puts a lot of effort into their marriage. In other words, if you’re the only one making romantic plans, trying to solve conflicts, and prioritizing them over everything else, there’s a pretty big possibility that they’re cheating on you. 

 

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Whether you should end your marriage with a cheater or not is not an easy answer. There are many factors to consider, including kids, mortgages, future plans, etc. However, the most important factor here should be how you feel if you have been cheated on. If you’re unable to forgive your partner and believe they are capable of changing, the marriage will be painful for both of you.

Beyond your thoughts, there is also the uncertainty of whether they will change. Are you okay with your partner going outside the marriage? Probably not. 

Consider it a positive sign if you see your partner making changes or taking time to share their intimacy issues with you. That said, there is no universal path to stop infidelity. A person can do their best to change and still cheat when the opportunity arises. 

What’s important to remember here is that your spouse’s decision to cheat often has little to do with you. It’s not your fault, so you do not feel obligated to help them change. Instead, take care of yourself, talk to a close friend or a therapist. And ask yourself if the life this person is giving you is satisfying you. 

 

 

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