Not Attracted to Husband: What Should I Do?

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Not Attracted to Husband: What Should I Do?

 

When preparing for your wedding, you’re probably not even considering that there could be times when you’re not attracted to husband. Although it might sound odd if it hasn’t happened to you, not feeling attracted to your partner is common and can be solved with the right approach.

We hope to explain why this occurs and what couples can do to feel more intimate with one another. So if you feel that your marriage needs help with sex and passion, keep reading this blog.

 

What Is Attraction in a Relationship? 

We use the word ‘attraction’ so often; however, defining it is not as easy as saying it. So, what is attraction? To describe attraction, we must think of desire, interest, or affinity that could be emotional, physical, sexual, or aesthetic. That said, people very often believe that attraction is related only to something romantic, while simply admiring someone can be considered a type of attraction. 

In a relationship, you can feel all these different types of attraction towards your partner. For example, you might be interested in learning more about how your partner approaches work responsibilities and learn from him that way. You could also admire his appearance after they have put so much time into improving their health and physique. 

Although you admire your partner, consider them your close friend, and so much more, it’s not uncommon to feel a lack of sexual attraction. You might even blame yourself for not feeling. Yet it’s important to remember that it’s not something humans are able to force. You feel something, or you don’t. Your focus shouldn’t be on forcing yourself to feel that attraction. It should be on understanding the reasons it’s not there. 

 

Factors that Impact Sexual Attraction 

When in a long relationship or marriage, it’s expected that the sexual attraction will not be as strong as it was in the beginning when everything was exciting. Over time, you may find yourself not attracted to husband in the same way. But that doesn’t mean the attraction is gone forever. Understanding what leads to that lack of attraction can help you restore it in your marriage.

Any marriage must include sexual fulfillment, which is frequently seen as essential to preserving a happy and healthy union. However, partners often have different needs, wants, and expectations when it comes to sex, making sexual fulfillment in marriage a challenge. Communication, connection, trust, and physical and mental well-being are just a few of the numerous factors that impact attraction in marriage.

 

Communication

Any successful couple should communicate effectively, and this is particularly true when it comes to sex. The likelihood of sexual satisfaction in a marriage is higher for couples who can discuss their sexual needs, wants, and preferences in an honest and open manner. 

Talking openly and honestly with your spouse is a good place to start if you are having trouble feeling attracted to them. Make sure you both are clear about what you enjoy and don’t like. Instead of pointing fingers or condemning one another, concentrate on figuring out how to make your sexual connection better. Also, keep in mind that communication, in general, can help you feel more connected. Which can then lead to more desire and need for physical touch. 

 

Intimacy

Another crucial element in attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage is intimacy. If you find yourself not attracted to husband, it may be a sign that emotional intimacy needs attention, in addition to physical connection. Sharing your ideas, feelings, and experiences with your spouse builds emotional closeness, which can reignite attraction.

Make an effort to spend quality time together, both in and out of the bedroom, to increase closeness in your marriage. Cuddling, holding hands, and massaging one another are a few examples of this. Try to establish a secure and comfortable environment where you and your spouse may explore your sexual dreams and desires while still being present and aware of their needs.

 

Trust

Any successful couple must trust each other, and this is particularly true when it comes to feeling attracted and secure. It might be challenging to really enjoy sex and explore your sexuality if you don’t feel safe or at ease with your partner.

Try to be open and truthful with your spouse about your feelings, wants, and opinions in order to foster trust in your marriage. Refrain from holding secrets or concealing anything, and be open to hearing your partner’s worries. Keep in mind that developing trust takes time and that both parties must be dedicated to creating a solid and wholesome relationship. 

 

Emotional and Physical Well-Being 

Lastly, attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage depends on both mental and physical well-being. It might be challenging to completely participate in and enjoy sex if you are dealing with mental or physical health conditions like stress, anxiety, or depression. 

Try to maintain a good diet, get lots of rest and relaxation. And exercise frequently to enhance your mental and physical well-being. Think about getting professional assistance from a therapist or counselor if you are experiencing mental health problems. Keep in mind that keeping a happy and healthy marriage depends on you taking care of yourself. 

 

Invest In Your Marriage

If all of the above is not an issue in your marriage. Then it’s time to pay closer attention to what has changed. What was different when you felt attracted to them? Has something changed in your or your partner’s life? Noticing these details might be difficult, so you should consider reaching out to a therapist. You could look for an individual therapist or a marital counselor, depending on how your partner feels about this subject.

Whatever you choose, make sure you are open to discussing these issues with an expert. Sometimes, a person might feel ashamed, insecure, or even ungrateful if complaining about their spouse to a third person. That is why it’s important to keep in mind that a therapist can help you only if they know all the vital information about the reason you seek therapy. In therapy, there is no judgment, and you are invited to share everything that can help you improve your marriage. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

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How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

If you’re wondering, ‘how much masturbation is too much’ this may help! Start by saying there’s no masturbation rule. Frequency, inspiration, place, and other factors can be unique for each person. One person might enjoy masturbating only on weekends when they are relaxed and not stressed about their responsibilities, whereas another person might prefer doing it every night before going to sleep.

However, our preferences are put aside if a person starts masturbating too much, and it starts impacting other areas of their lives, including romantic relationships and friendships. If you’re unable to focus at work because you’re thinking about your desire to masturbate, it’s recommended to take a closer look at when these urges appear and what they replace. For such an analysis, it’s best to talk to your therapist openly to connect the dots and find a way to delight in masturbation without it taking a toll on other things that matter to you.

Why Do We Masturbate? 

For most of us, our first masturbation experiences occurred in puberty. That is when we start noticing this desire to please ourselves on a physical level. Then, as we grow older, our reasons for masturbating can be affected by our religious beliefs, family upbringing, peer pressure, exposure to culture, stress, and so on. 

We masturbate for different reasons. These reasons can be pleasure, tension release, fun, enjoyment, and learning more about one’s sexuality. In other words, if you know what excites you, it will be easier to achieve it with your sexual partner. Another reason that is often ignored is being able to fall asleep after masturbation. An orgasm can help you fall asleep quicker because it helps you release the tension you have accumulated in your body. 

There are also different ways of masturbating. Some people will enjoy masturbating with their partners as part of foreplay, while others will prefer to be alone to truly experience that level of pleasure. You may prefer to masturbate while watching something sexually exciting on screen, or you can close your eyes and imagine scenes. For most people, there is neither one nor the other option.

Is Masturbation Harmful? 

Typically, there are no consequences for people who masturbate often. In some cases, men will report swelling of the penis or chafing skin in both men and women if their masturbation is a bit rough. None of these are permanent, and they usually go away in a matter of a few days.

Other factors determine the effects of masturbation on your relationship. Masturbate because your partner isn’t pleasing you sexually. Discuss it with them and find a solution. It is fantastic if you do solo sex because you feel more connected to your partner and thus yourself. Masturbation will rarely be the only reason for an issue in your life; it will instead be a symptom of a more underlying problem. 

For example, if you’re under a lot of stress and feel like you can’t keep up with your boss’ expectations, you might use masturbation as a form to release tension and survive a stressful day. This might lead to you going to the bathroom several times a day, impacting your productivity and putting you in conflict with your colleagues and supervisor. 

The consequences of masturbation are not direct, so it’s difficult to say precisely how much masturbation is too much or when it’s time to start worrying. That is why it’s best to bring this topic up with your therapist and see if it’s time for a different approach to masturbation.

Myths About Masterbation

When we talk about what’s too much in terms of masturbation, it’s important to address myths. Believing everything you read or hear about masturbation may limit your enjoyment or force you to make bad decisions. 

 

1.Too Much of It Causes Erectile Dysfunction

The inability to achieve or sustain an erection during sexual activity is referred to as erectile dysfunction. Masturbating is not one of many causes of sexual dysfunction. In actuality, frequent masturbation causes you to grow accustomed to your own touch or a particular type of sensation. You can find it even challenging to experience orgasms with your partner. 

 

2.Masturbation Is Not Good For Your Health

Many scientists believe there are health benefits to masturbating. A couple of the health advantages include enhanced focus and restful sleep. Because it causes your body to release endorphins, also known as feel-good hormones, masturbation helps to relieve headaches and stress. In addition, regular masturbation guarantees men’s increased levels of health and youthful appearance.  

Masturbation provides certain advantages for women’s sexual health, such as less pain during sex. This is brought on by the way endorphins, which lessen pain perception, interact with brain receptors. Masturbation can also possibly lessen vaginal dryness. 

 

3.People in Relationships Don’t Engage

Masturbation is a healthy sexual practice you can do to satisfy your urges, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Many research studies have indicated that both men and women engage in the habit of masturbating and that this is not impacted by their relationship status.

Wrap Up

Speaking about masturbation might cause embarrassment, remorse, or shame in some people. No need to feel negative about masturbating—it’s normal and good.

Masturbation won’t result in blindness or negatively impact one’s bodily or emotional well-being when it is done in balance. Masturbation frequently has more positive health impacts than negative ones. The majority of the time, masturbation is only a concern when it starts to negatively impact one’s relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners.

In situations in which you feel that masturbation is impacting other areas of your life, we advise you to consult a medical expert, particularly a sex therapist, to learn better tools to release tension or have fun.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

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How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

 

If you’re thinking about how to save a sexless marriage, it probably means that there was no consensus between you and your spouse on having a marriage without sexual activities. This article doesn’t aim to talk about marriages in which both sides don’t need sex to feel fulfilled. Instead, it seeks to provide guidelines to partners who are looking to address the lack of sex and how it’s impacting their marriage. 

There are certain things you can consider if you’re in a sexless marriage. To understand how it comes to that, we’ll look closely into the reasons why sex vanishes from most couple’s priority lists and how to put it back there. 

 

Why Sex Matters

One thing that distinguishes a love relationship from a platonic friendship is physical intimacy. However, some couples neglect the physical aspect of their marriage; this is especially prevalent in the early years of a marriage, especially if children are involved.

The importance of sex varies from person to person. There are others who might believe that having a sexual relationship is essential. Some people might think that connections and intimacy of a different kind are more significant. 

In addition to the benefits for you and your spouse personally, having regular sex has several other positive effects on a harmonious relationship. For example, the oxytocin released during sexual activity promotes emotional connection and strengthens bonds.

In a monogamous relationship, having sex deepens your emotional bond and devotion to the other person. Sex as a means of expressing love makes couples more likely to stay together. Sex is positively linked to a decreased divorce rate.

Depending on the marriage, having no sex may or may not be a problem. However, there are ways to address the issue together and individually if a lack of sex and physical closeness is a problem in your marriage. The first step to saving your sexless marriage is to determine the underlying cause.

 

How Do We End Up in a Sexless Marriage?

There are many reasons why some partners stop having sex in their marriage. Despite the pain it may cause you and your partner, you must understand what caused it to find a solution. 

 

Health Concerns

A person’s libido and desire for physical closeness can be significantly impacted by their state of mind and body. Also, health issues and disabilities can interfere with the physiological arousal process. Consider consulting a healthcare professional if you or your partner experience sexual dysfunction that persists for longer than a few months or is causing stress in your marriage.

 

Incompatible Libidos

Sex drive naturally flows, and not everyone has the same degree of sexual desire. When a couple’s sexual desires are not aligned, they may find themselves waiting to have sex until one or the other is feeling particularly in the mood. This will significantly reduce the frequency of sexual experiences in your marriage.

 

Having children

Many medical professionals advise delaying intercourse for at least six weeks, and some women may choose to hold out longer because of their experience giving birth, pain, or overwhelming feelings.

Generally speaking, not having sex just after giving birth wouldn’t qualify as a true “sexless marriage.” However, if it continues, sometimes this is how a marriage becomes sexless after a mother has decided she wants to focus on the family and not pleasure anymore.

 

Stress 

Your desire to have sex can be severely impacted by excessive stress. When cortisol levels rise, sex hormones drop, which eventually lowers your desire for sex. Additionally, if you’re stressed about family, work, or health, sex may not be a priority. 

 

Lack of Communication

It can be challenging to keep physical closeness going when you and your partner are having communication issues. Ineffective communication regarding sex, in general, can affect the body physiologically in terms of lubrication, orgasm, and erectile function, as well as reduce an individual’s desire and arousal for sex. 

 

Saving a Sexless Marriage

In a low- or no-sex marriage, the first step is determining if intimacy is an issue. Whether you and your partner find a low-sex or no-sex marriage problematic is a personal choice.

There is no rule on how many times marriage people should have sex per week, month, or year. Whether you and your spouse are content in your marriage and whether you still feel close to each other are often more significant factors.

Since each marriage is different, try not to compare yours to others. Research has shown that going without sex is more common than you might imagine, even though you may come across marital sex statistics that will suggest a certain number to be able to call your marriage sexually active. 

 

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate 

Discuss the problem of little or no sex in your marriage with your spouse. Even if it could be challenging, this communication is essential. Problems with intimacy and sex can arise in partnerships that are otherwise strong. It’s not always an indication that your marriage is facing a serious problem.

Instead of accusing, ask your partner how they feel about the issues. Would they like to have more sex? What do they need in order for that to happen? Make sure you also talk about what matters to you. Define clearly what sex means to you, and why it’s important to improve that area of your marriage. Being intimate about it may help you want sex again. 

 

Build Intimacy

Consider scheduling more sex if you’ve both agreed. It may not be romantic, but it can be thrilling and unique if done right. You can anticipate something and show your commitment to each other and your physical connection by making plans.

In addition to having sex, it’s critical to look into other ways to develop intimacy, as this is frequently lacking in low- or no-sex partnerships. There is more to physical connection than just intercourse. Try to rekindle your romance and find that unique spark by doing the things you both love. 

 

Consider Therapy

Depending on the underlying problems, seeking help outside your marriage could also be wise. Try attending a workshop, seminar, or marriage retreat to improve your intimacy. 

To address any underlying medical concerns that might be affecting your sexual life, speak with a healthcare professional. Seek joint or individual assistance from a mental health expert to develop communication skills or acquire stress reduction methods.

Should you decide that therapy is the best course of action for you, you might want to contact a trained sex therapist or another counselor who specializes in marital sexual issues. Any problems that are preventing you from experiencing intimacy can be worked through with your therapist. Make the most of these chances to concentrate on strengthening and deepening your marriage.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Does Sex Get Better With Age?

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Does Sex Get Better With Age?

 

You’ve probably asked yourself more than once, ‘Does Sex Get Better With Age?’ and being curious about it is more common than you’d think. As much as we’re sexual beings, we’re also aware that humans change over the years. Our health condition is not the same at 50 as in our 20s. We have less energy as we age, and our sexual drive could be even lower with age. 

Still, all of this can be improved. You can improve your energy levels, become healthier, and feel better about yourself. So, the answer to that question will be unique for each person. However, if sex is the area in your life you wish to improve, we’re happy to share with you that sex can get better with age!

 

Factors that Impact Sex Drive

The first thing you need to understand is what impacts your desire to have sex and the quality of sex. How you feel about sex can change in a relationship or marriage. Most couples tend to have a lot of sex at the beginning of their relationship, and as time goes by, they start feeling tired or stressed about having sex with their partner. 

These are the most common factors that impact libido in most people:

  • Lower estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone
  • Prescription medications
  • Higher stress levels
  • Low self-esteem or body image issues
  • Drugs, smoking, or alcohol 
  • Diabetes 
  • High blood pressure  

Don’t forget that poor sexual desire may be a sign of mental or physical health problems. It may also lower your quality of life and lead to relationship issues.

 

Sexual Prime or the Golden Age for Sex

The term “sexual prime,” used to describe a young person, is not new. Sex is still fun as we age, contrary to popular belief. A lot of people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s+ are having fulfilling sexual relationships that enhance their general happiness and well-being.

There is a simple explanation for that! Our sense of power, assertiveness, confidence, and body image change as we age. These elements greatly improve our closeness, connection, and enjoyment of experiences.

Overall enjoyment and the quality of sex increase with age, even though the frequency of sexual activity may naturally decline. Therefore, the quality of the relationship you build with your partner is more important than the frequency of your intercourse or the number of orgasms you have. Another thing you’ll need to be aware of is that you and your spouse must accept that your bodies are changing with age and that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

 

How to Enjoy Sex More

If you’re determined to enjoy sex more, go for it! After all, you’ve probably had a certain amount of sexual experiences, which can help you choose your preferred sex style, positions, or anything else you’d like to try with your partner. Below, you can find suggestions that are worth exploring with your sexual partner to ensure you both enjoy sex more.

 

1.Take it Slow

Giving yourself and your partner some extra time for sex is crucial. Our sexual response cycle, or the interval between being aroused and engaging in sexual action, slows down as we get older. Women, in particular, could need extra time and attention to get to the point where their bodies are completely relaxed and aroused. A good piece of advice is to delay sexual activity until the morning or afternoon if you or your partner have medical issues with symptoms that intensify at night.

 

2. Use What You Have

The good news is that if you dislike sex toys, you can utilize nearly anything that is on your bed. For instance, using a pillow or a blanket can provide more comfort and create a new angle for the penetrating partner. You can use certain clothing items, such as ties, to tie your partner up or cover their eyes. If your partner loves sexy lingerie, why not surprise him one night? Or, you can even go shopping together and choose something that you both like. 

 

3. Seek New Ways to Connect

Intimacy and sex should be redefined, and partners need to be flexible with this and not make a big deal about the things that might not work immediately. Some things take more time than others. Approach this as an experiment for both of you! Try new things and adapt to them as you go. 

 

4. Have a Positive Mindset

Who said that the best era of your sexual life had ended? The best sex is yet to come! 

Don’t forget that, as we age, we occasionally start to feel a little more confident in ourselves. A healthier sexual life is also facilitated by people’s tendency to lose interest in some of those less significant things as they get older. That leaves enough room and energy to focus on the real connection between the two partners and enjoy your entire relationship, including sex!

 

Conclusion

Yes, sex can get better with age! There is no doubt about it. If there is something preventing you from enjoying sex at any age, the best thing you can do is talk to your partner and to your doctor if you’re suspecting health issues. On the other hand, besides eliminating the obstacles, do your best to connect with your partner. Talk more about the things you need in a relationship and in bed. Also, don’t take sex too seriously. Some things you try with your partner will not produce the satisfaction you were expecting, and that’s totally okay. 

Sex is about exploring your own sexuality and learning more about your partner’s. Forget about the age and make the most of the sexual experiences you have! Sometimes, you just need to relax and be curious about the intimacy you and your partner are building together, whether it’s through sex, hugging, or a conversation. Anything that brings you closer together will bring you more satisfaction in bed as well. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Edging a Female Orgasm & How To Become An Expert In It

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Edging a Female Orgasm & How To Become An Expert In It

 

Edging a female orgasm refers to the practice of preventing yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re about to experience the sexual climax. It is also known as surfing, peaking, and teasing. This term has become very popular lately as a way to describe reaching better orgasms, yet it was first mentioned over half a century ago as a treatment for premature ejaculation.

To edge an orgasm means to prevent sexual stimulation before having an orgasm, wait about 20-30 minutes, and stimulate yourself repeatedly until you’ve decided to orgasm. You can think of edging orgasms as turning your short morning jogs into marathons.

Holistically, edging an orgasm can help you become more aware of your sexual responses when you’re masturbating or having sex with your partner by introducing mindfulness into your sex game.

 

Before You Start Edging

The more you are aware of the ways your body responds in bed, the less anxiety you will have in your sexual life. You will be more certain of things you want and don’t want to try out alone or with your partner, and you will be absolutely sure when you are about to come. This knowledge will help you understand yourself better as a sexual being and also bring more curiosity into your sex life.

However, to truly master edging, you need to first learn the four stages of arousal, which can help you understand when to prevent yourself from orgasming and begin stimulation:

1. Excitement:

You will notice your skin is starting to flush, muscles get tense, heartbeat is getting faster, and blood going down to your penis or vagina and clitoris. For people with a penis, their scrotum will withdraw. For people with a vagina, their vagina will get wet.

2. Plateau:

All the symptoms you experienced in the first stage will get even more intense. You will feel like being closer to an orgasm, and to edge it, you will need to slow down stimulation.

3. Orgasm:

A range of nerve and muscle responses will start happening, and you will notice a feeling of ecstasy, more lubrication in your vagina, or ejaculation of semen from your penis. However, if you’re practicing edging, this is the stage you will continuously postpone until you’re ready to have an orgasm.

4. Resolution:

Once you have had an orgasm, your tissues go back to their non-aroused sizes and colors, while your vitals normalize as well. In this stage, the refractory period starts, where you will not be able to get aroused for a period of time. It might last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days.

Two people might feel emotions during each of these four stages. You might even not experience some of them, while others might appear in different stages. This is why it is important to pay attention to what responses occur in your body and when to be able to learn how to edge an orgasm successfully.

 

Ways to Edge an Orgasm

If you’re curious about edging, start paying attention to what you feel before your orgasm and try to remain in that stage between plateau and orgasm. Listen to your body and focus on the signs. You will probably not be able to do it right away, and that is completely fine. Most people are not paying attention to how they come or what their orgasms include, so the learning process takes some time.

There are several ways you can start experimenting with edging. If a certain method doesn’t work for you, just continue to the next one until you find the one that can help you easily edge into an orgasm and achieve more sexual pleasure.

 

Solo

  • Turn your environment into something that is ideal for you. Lock the doors, put on your favorite music, turn down the lights, or do anything else that will put you in the mood.
  • Prepare your body for the adventure. Close your eyes and start touching yourself in areas that feel good until your vagina gets wet or your penis gets hard.
  • Begin with masturbation. Stroke the penis, stimulate the clitoris, or do anything else that has previously helped you achieve orgasms.
  • Once you notice you’re close to having an orgasm, stop touching yourself and start breathing slowly and deeply. Open your eyes to become aware of your environment.
  • Think about what got you so excited and become more aware of stimulation, areas, or thoughts that bring you closer to an orgasm. Focus on how your body was changing as well – sweating, excitation, shaking, etc.
  • When you’re ready, start touching yourself or masturbating a bit faster. Repeat all the steps that proved successful before until you are ready to reach your orgasm.
  • When you feel you’re close, let yourself experience this incredible orgasm, which will probably be much longer or more intense than any other orgasms you have experienced in your life. Compare how your orgasm went with and without edging.

 

With Your Partner

  • Get aroused through foreplay or any other activities that you and your partner prefer doing before sex. It can be dirty talking, oral sex, licking or sucking nipples, stimulating the G-spot, etc.
  • Tell your partner and listen to them when giving cues or sharing ideas on what to do with each other.
  • Once you’re both close to an orgasm, reduce or stop the stimulation until you go back to a plateau.
  • Begin the stimulation again and repeat all the things you both liked until you are ready to orgasm.
  • After an orgasm, talk with your partner about how it felt to edge into an orgasm. Learning how your partner felt can help you improve this entire experience next time.

 

In Final Words

With each of these methods, you can adjust them to your needs while trying them alone or with your sex partner. The important thing here is to maintain your curiosity and focus on how your body reacts. Edging a female orgasm will feel even better if your partner is learning how to edge their orgasm as well. This will unlock a range of incredible opportunities that will show you new things about your sexuality, so don’t just ignore it. Edging a female orgasm can lead to more intense and satisfying sexual experiences, enhancing both solo and partnered sexual activities.

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

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Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

 

Have you ever thought, “I have no sex drive, and my husband is mad,” to yourself? You may have even attempted to look for advice on how to improve both your relationship and yourself online. Some wives even discuss this with their closest friends to figure out how to be more sexually active with their husbands.

If you care about this topic, keep reading as we explore all your options and their causes. Not being sexually interested in your partner in a monogamous sexual relationship must be addressed. There are times when we do not want to have frequent or any sex with our partners. However, if this phase is lasting too long and you do not know how to bring back that sex magic, it is time to examine what is going on in your relationship. 

 

What is Sex Drive?

Let us first define your sex drive before discussing why it is low and how to boost it. Our desire to have sex is called libido. A person with low sex drive has little or no desire for sex. This will be more noticeable in a long-term relationship than if you are single and not dating. 

A lack of sexual desire can damage your relationship and even cause a breakup if you’re with an allosexual partner. Understandably, if your partner and you have different sexual drives, it may affect your relationship. The only thing that matters here is being honest with yourself and your partner when finding the solution to this unpleasant problem. 

 

Reasons for Lower Sex Drive

Instead of blaming yourself for low sex drive, consider external factors. Some women notice their sex drive dropping greatly after menopause, while others remain aware of it throughout their lives due to cultural and religious beliefs.

Mental illness has been linked to decreased sexual drive and arousal. A lack of sexual drive and sexual dysfunction are common in depressed and anxious people. Check with a therapist to see if your low sex drive is linked to mental health. 

Mental health, menopause, and other factors can affect sex desire. Age, obesity, chronic conditions, medication, pregnancy, and relationship satisfaction can all affect sex drive. We are all different in our ways of being intimate or sexual towards another person, so make sure you are not comparing your situation to your friend’s. 

 

How to Improve Sex Drive

You shouldn’t expect to improve the sexual aspect of your marriage if you’re uncertain of the reason for it. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve the sexual connection you have with your husband. Most couples experiencing this issue will seek sex therapy, in which a therapist will assist with the sexual problems you two are having. 

Besides helping you solve the issues that are preventing you from enjoying marital sex, therapists can also improve intimacy between spouses, improve your orgasm experience, help you communicate your sexual wishes that you were afraid or ashamed to share, and so much more. 

You might not know this, yet sleep is crucial for sexual desire. If you’re sleeping only a few hours every night and trying not to collapse under all the responsibilities you have, your desire to be sexually intimate with your partner will most likely be very low. Women who improve the quality and duration of their sleep report a higher sexual drive the next day. 

Also, you can try aphrodisiacs, such as foods like raw oysters, strawberries, and chocolate, to improve your sexual desire. Yoga, mindfulness, and regular exercise can also enhance your libido and lead to more frequent sexual activities.

 

Different Sex Drive Levels in Relationships

There is no normal sex drive or norm that everyone should aspire to when it comes to being sexually attracted to or having sex with another human being. You might need to have sex once a week with your husband, while another person will need to have sex with their spouse several times a week. Both of these situations are perfectly fine, as long as they are not making you feel bad or affecting your relationship in any way.

Many couples will notice that one partner’s sex drive and needs are very different from their own. What is key to this is communication, like everything else in marriage. Both partners should be aware of their partner’s sex drive and find a way to ensure their needs are met. Talk to your partner and explain to them how you feel about sex. The sooner they understand that your lower sex drive has nothing to do with them, the healthier your sex life will be. 

Couples who differ in sexual expectations often realize that being open and honest in their communication about sex leads to stronger connections and a greater desire to have sex. Let’s not forget that one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs is not chocolate, sexy lingerie, or a gym body – it is the connection built through valuable conversations with your partner. 

Forget about improving your sex drive and setting goals in your mind. Work on connecting better with your partner, trying out new and exciting things, and learning something new about each other, and you will notice the sparkle coming back both in your relationship and your bed. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

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Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

 

In our fast-paced, modern lives, it’s not uncommon for sex and intimacy to be relegated to just another item on our never-ending “to-do” list and to ignore comprehensive sex therapy altogether. Many of the individuals we work with express feeling drained, exhausted, and underappreciated. 

They often find themselves living on autopilot, unable to savor the small, subtle beauties of life. When was the last time you could truly switch off your racing thoughts and immerse yourself in a pleasurable experience? If that moment seems like a distant memory, you’re not alone. Sex therapy offers a path to rediscovering that connection and vitality in your life.

 

Understanding Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a specialized modality that addresses a multitude of issues related to human sexuality. It’s a powerful tool for becoming more mindful, aware, and connected to your sexuality, and it can alleviate many of the symptoms associated with the pervasive issue of life burnout that so many individuals and couples experience.

 

Exploring the Diverse Realms of Comprehensive Sex Therapy

When delving into the realm of sex therapy, you’ll discover a rich tapestry of subcategories, each designed to address specific aspects of sexuality and intimacy. These include, but are not limited to:

 

1. Readjusting Sex Life after Transitions

Life transitions, such as becoming parents, going through menopause, experiencing injuries, and more, can significantly impact your sexual life. Sex therapy provides guidance on adapting to and finding joy in these new phases.

2. Pain during intercourse

Experiencing pain during sex can be emotionally and physically taxing. Sex therapy addresses the underlying causes and helps you find relief and enjoyment.

3. Low or no desire

Loss of sexual desire can be distressing, but it’s a challenge that sex therapy can help you overcome, rekindling the flame of passion in your relationship.

4. Identity and Orientation Issues

Exploring and embracing one’s sexual identity and orientation is a transformative journey, and sex therapy provides the support and understanding needed.

5. Desire Discrepancies

When partners have differing levels of desire, it can strain a relationship. Sex therapy offers strategies for bridging this gap and fostering intimacy.

6. History of Sexual Trauma

Healing from past traumas is a critical aspect of sex therapy. It offers a safe space to address and work through these deeply rooted issues.

7. Orgasm Issues

Difficulty achieving orgasm is a common concern. Sex therapy explores the psychological and physical factors contributing to this issue.

8. Fertility

Dealing with infertility can be emotionally challenging. Sex therapy provides support and strategies for coping with the impact on your relationship and self-esteem.

9. Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction can be a source of anxiety and frustration for many. Sex therapy helps individuals and couples navigate this challenge with empathy and guidance.

10. Sex Education

For those seeking a deeper understanding of their own bodies and sexuality, sex education is an essential component of sex therapy.

 

Breaking Free from Shame and Stigma

Shame frequently characterizes societal attitudes in the United States and some of the Americas toward sex, our bodies, and intimacy. This cultural backdrop can hinder open discussions about intimate issues. However, I firmly believe that removing the veil of shame and encouraging open dialogue is incredibly empowering.

Important Note: It’s essential to clarify that I am not a sex surrogate. All therapy sessions are talk-based and conducted with clothes on. My role as a therapist is to guide you on a journey of self-exploration, helping you tap into the many facets of your identity, including your sexuality, to empower you to become the best version of yourself.

Through talk therapy, goal-setting, and other proven methods, we can help you strengthen your relationship with your partner. Let’s embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and vibrant life. Come schedule a private session with Sarah Fitzgerald, LCSW or Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, AASECT CST.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

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Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

 

There are many reasons why people find divorce to be the most stressful situation of their lives, yet a sex counselor might be exactly what you need. After all, most people will talk about how to recover emotionally, and as much as this is crucial, sex and intimacy are important aspects of your life, and you should dedicate your attention to them as well. 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the importance of having a sex counselor support you through a divorce and why you should consider finding one. 

 

Why Sex Matters 

Sex is a big deal in marriages, so why assume it will not be a big deal in divorces? It is so much more than just a physical activity; it involves intimacy, connection, excitement, pleasure, and trust. For a couple to enjoy sex, they need to make sure that both partners’ needs are met, and that can often be challenging. It might be that sex is not the reason why you and your spouse have decided to part ways, yet it will have a significant impact on how you see yourself as a sexual being in your upcoming relationships.

For instance, if your partner was never interested in sex, you might feel awkward that your next partner is initiating it and not know how to respond to it. Or, you might feel uninspired to try out different things in bed because your spouse didn’t like them, so you’ll assume that your partner in the future will be the same way. All of these beliefs affect how we see ourselves and how we connect with others, both romantically and sexually. 

 

Numerous sex issues can occur in your marriage and follow you way past your divorce, such as:

  • You stopped having sex,
  • You or your spouse initiate arguing after sex,
  • You don’t match each other’s libido,
  • You see sex as a more or less important aspect of your marriage than your spouse,
  • You or your spouse find other people more sexually appealing than each other. 

 

After Divorce

Your first sexual encounter following a divorce may be remarkably similar to your very first encounter. Both men and women are concerned about having their first sexual encounter following a divorce. Males may have some erection problems due to the strain of a new relationship and their eagerness for sex. 

You can feel apprehensive since their body will differ from what you are used to. Will you know where everything is and how to turn it on? You could also experience climaxing troubles rather than erection problems. Once more, guilt over sleeping with a different person could prevent you from experiencing orgasm.  

When having sex for the first time after a divorce, women may be reluctant to expose their bodies out of concern that they are not perfect enough, especially if they are middle-aged. The first time you have sex after a divorce, you might not be able to climax because you might not be able to unwind and trust your partner enough to feel free with them. 

If your first sexual encounter doesn’t go as you expected, don’t be disappointed. It will take time to adjust to many aspects of your new life, including intimacy after divorce and a new sexual partner.

 

Reasons to Talk to a Sex Counselor

Sex therapists are licensed counselors, physicians, or other healthcare professionals who have received further training in assisting clients with sex-related issues.

Many people, at some point in their lives, struggle with sex. Some people can easily help themselves. Others may experience significant discomfort and sadness as a result of sexual issues. 

These are just a few of the sexual issues that a sex counselor can help you with:

  • Lack or absence of sexual desire,
  • Difficulties having an orgasm,
  • Feeling pain during sex,
  • Inability to practice penetrative sex,
  • Erectile dysfunction,
  • Premature ejaculation.

 

Your concerns will be discussed with a sex therapist, who will determine whether they are more likely to be psychological, physical, or a combination of the two.

 Each counseling session is private. You can go to a sex therapist alone, yet it could be best if you both go if your spouse is also affected by the issue.

You will have a more profound knowledge of what is happening and the causes by discussing and examining your experiences. The therapist could also assign you and your partner specific exercises and chores to complete independently.

 

Quick Tips to Help Yourself Enjoy Sex Again

The best way to solve any issue around sex and intimacy in your marriage or even during a divorce is to talk to a sex counselor. They will provide the best support and guide you on your path to falling in love with yourself as a sexual being – which we all are! That said, there are a few things you can try on your own that might help you improve how you feel about sex. Keep in mind that each situation is individual, so some of these tips might not work for you. 

The first piece of advice would be to solo touch. It might sound silly, yet how well do you truly know what feels good? Do you know which sensations and which parts of your body provoke a feeling of pleasure? Many people will forget about things that they are passionate about exploring with their partner. So, if that’s your situation, give yourself a few orgasms before you get back in the game.

Also, do not rush into sex.  Speeding up to get over it is unnecessary. You should enjoy it and do it when it feels right, whether it’s the first night you meet them or after a few months. One thing you should also be clear about with yourself is not to use sex to fill up the void. Sleeping alone after years of marriage might seem weird or even too scary, so you might get the idea of getting into bed with someone to fill up the void. Keep in mind that the best motivation to have sex with someone is when you’re truly attracted to them; otherwise, you will feel even more lonely after having sex with a person you don’t even like.

 

The Bottom Line

Sex after divorce may simultaneously be terrifying, thrilling, and fulfilling. To shape your sexual life after divorce, you must go carefully into the unexplored region. However, you don’t have to do it alone. Consider reaching out to a sex counselor and getting the support you need to solve any unresolved sexual issues, and look forward to sexual experiences coming your way!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Edging for Women: The Art of Controlling Orgasms

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Edging for Women: The Art of Controlling Orgasms

 

Edging for women is increasing sexual stimulation to the point immediately before orgasm and then decreasing it again. It is a safe technique and will not likely harm your health.

Simply put, edging is the act of holding back an orgasm’s release while remaining on its brink.  males and women both use edging methods. However, males do so more frequently. Women don’t need to practice edging as much because they can become multi-orgasmic on their own or with training. Instead, a woman could choose to learn how to orgasm several times throughout a sexual session.

 

What Is Edging?

Edging is the process of gradually increasing sexual stimulation and ending just before the orgasmic peak. Edging can be done by one person or a group of people. The moment right before orgasm is known as the “edge.” During sexual action, people repeatedly practice edging to get to this point.

Edging may be done by anybody, regardless of gender or sexual preference. Similar to edging, the final climax will eventually be more fantastic the longer you wait and the more frequently you edge and withdraw. Trust us, it’s worth the effort.

 

How Edging Works

Edging is difficult. Many women who struggle with orgasming believe that getting there is like ascending a mountain; why would I want to drop back down and start over?

The proper approach is crucial to keep you on or as close to the edge as feasible because that is a problem. It’s a smart idea to use a vibrator and other devices to keep yourself entertained if you’re traveling alone. Stop any stimulation just before you’re about to reach your climax, and take a moment to allow your blood flow to slow down a bit.

Your orgasm will start to fade, but you shouldn’t wait until it is completely gone. Whether you were stroking your vibrator on your clitoris or using your hand, continue until you feel as though you are just coming out of climaxing. Then, work to return to the edge quickly so you can repeat the process. Your body will start to tingle as you play on the brink of your orgasm, and you’ll soon start to experience goosebumps.

 

Tips to Get Started with Female Edging

For various persons, edging can have different uses. It could also differ if someone is doing edging solo or in a group.

Edging is a tool that anybody may use to intensify a sexual orgasmic experience. Some people could use it to extend the duration of their sexual encounters.

 

  • Try It On Your Own

It might take some talent to learn how to edge, so try it out on your own first. The goal is to get as near to an orgasm as you can, pause, and then resume the process all over again.

So, pick a quiet location where you won’t be disturbed and where you can concentrate completely on the feelings of masturbation.

 

  • Pay Attention to Your Body

By edging, you may get much more familiar with the precise physical symptoms and in-the-moment reactions of an orgasm. So, do some areas of your body begin to stiffen up? Do your heart rate and breathing patterns alter?

Make a mental note of any minute changes that you notice. You might not be able to stop your climax this time, but the next time you try, you’ll be much more conscious of it as you get closer to the end.

 

  • Rate Your Arousal

To that aim, rank your level of arousal from one to ten, with ten being climax. When edging, you should halt yourself at an eight or a nine; you should experiment to see how close you can go.

Aiming for an eight when you first start out is a fantastic idea. Then, until you are back down to maybe a six or a five, stop touching yourself or touch yourself just very, very lightly and gently. You may then scale it back up to an eight or a nine before reducing the intensity to two and repeating the process until you are no longer able to tease yourself.

 

  • Take Turns with Your Partner

To handle both partners at once is simply too much to manage; you won’t be able to get the timing precisely perfect. Instead, before you begin, explain to your spouse what you hope to accomplish and set up a method. 

Decide on a clear signal in advance. It might be anything as easy as an arm or shoulder grasp, or it could be a vocal indication like “stop” or “pause” or “red light”. However, be sure to define the signal first: It might be hard to take yourself out of a situation when you’re with a partner if you get caught up in the moment and are approaching that nine.

 

  • Choose Your Positions

Choose positions where you have control since edging does call for a significant degree of physical control. Consider woman-on-top positions like Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl for penetrating sex because you can assess the speed and depth of the thrust and stop yourself as soon as necessary. These positions not only provide you easy access to your own clit.

Any position that allows you to rub yourself, though, works for edging because so many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm: Consider lying back while your standing spouse thrusts in a posture known as a tabletop position, the downward dog, or other rear entrance positions.

 

In Final Words

You can learn about yourself and what makes you tick by engaging in sexual experimentation of any type. It’s okay if everything does not work for you.

In essence, if you don’t try, you won’t know. When you decide to let yourself feel the added intensity of eventually letting yourself fall over the orgasm cliff, you may realize that standing on the “edge” is just thrilling. Edging may first appear difficult. However, once you master the art of edging, the benefits are endless!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Intimacy Therapy Guide: How to Make the Most of It

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Intimacy Therapy Guide: How to Make the Most of It

 

When talking about intimacy therapy, many of us will assume it has to do mostly with sex. However, there is so much more to intimacy than just that, while it is a crucial component. When you are close to someone, your mind, body, and spirit may all be involved. This is what it means to be intimate. It’s about having the strongest possible sense of connection to individuals who are close to you. 

You might feel intimately connected whether you’re in a romantic, platonic, or family connection. Counseling for intimate relationships might be helpful if you need help in this area. 

 

What Is Intimacy Therapy?

Most of us seek closeness because it helps us feel close to others and like valuable members of a group. We can’t always have intimacy in the manner we’d like to, though. That is where intimacy therapy comes in. 

Both single people and couples who want to explore intimacy might benefit from intimacy therapy. The goal is to find any obstacles preventing you from having the connection you deserve and want. It might have some similarities with sex therapy, yet they are not the same. Sex therapists concentrate on sex-related difficulties, while intimacy therapy doesn’t always have to be about that. 

You should be able to develop trust, vulnerability, and commitment with yourself and others through effective counseling. It is a type of talk therapy that may assist you in locating healthy answers to any intimate issues you may be experiencing. 

 

Understanding Intimacy

Before finding the right therapist for you, you will need to understand intimacy first. It’s important to comprehend the many sorts of closeness to determine whether you require intimacy therapy. Some of the most typical are the following:

  • Emotional: Frequently has to do with how you feel and how close you think you are to someone. Anything that gives you a deep emotional connection, such as the sensation of being loved, noticed, heard, or safe while discussing your feelings, might qualify. 
  • Sexual: When you interact sexually or in a sensual way with someone. 
  • Intellectual: The joining of two brains via deep discourse, common interests or principles.
  • Physical: Closeness that is either non-sexual or sexual, such as hugs, kisses, massages, hand holding, or snuggling.
  • Spirituality: Supporting one another’s personal growth and working for a shared objective and respect for one another’s unique or shared views. 
  • Experiential: Establishing relationships via common interests or experiences. 

 

Benefits of Intimacy Therapy

Intimacy isn’t often at the top of the list of all the education we receive. The media, our caretakers, or our friends frequently provide us with some unhelpful examples. This implies that we could develop behaviors that prevent us from engaging in intimacy and having healthy relationships. 

Perhaps you find it difficult to be personal with yourself because you find it difficult to overcome emotions of shame. Or a once-warm relationship has abruptly turned frigid. This wouldn’t be unusual, given that research shows that closeness increases throughout the early stages of a relationship before finally becoming static. Through counseling, you may discover new techniques for fostering closeness in your relationships and with yourself and help you break harmful patterns.  

The easiest subject to discuss is intimacy difficulties. You might not yet be able to communicate respectfully, listen actively, and have an open mind. You may acquire insight and develop workable answers to any problems by speaking with a qualified expert. Counseling can offer solutions whether you want to improve your sexual relationship or get to know yourself better. When there is someone who can assist, you shouldn’t have to deal with these problems on your own. 

 

How to Build Intimacy in Relationship

It is possible to overcome your fear of intimacy or issues you might have in that area. A sympathetic therapist can assist you in comprehending the underlying feelings that underlie your dread. They can assist you in addressing these emotions and identifying other, better-coping mechanisms for isolation.

Occasionally, mental health conditions like avoidant personality disorder can further exacerbate problems with intimacy. This can be treated, which has important advantages for those facing these issues.

Even when neither partner dislikes intimacy, a couple may struggle to communicate. The following advice may help you and your partner get closer and have more intimacy in your relationship.

  • Be more tolerant. It takes a lot of time to get to know someone well. The process of establishing trust is frequently laborious. No race can define intimacy.
  • Start with the little things. Discuss your hopes and objectives if you prefer to talk about the future rather than the past. As trust grows, you could find broaching the more challenging subjects less threatening.
  • Openly discuss your needs. Do you frequently require alone to rejuvenate? How frequently do you like having sex? Instead of presuming that your wishes are “obvious and clear,” be explicit with your spouse about what you want to avoid a lot of misunderstandings.
  • Be respectful of one another’s differences. Even the closest of couples still have their personalities. To love each other and have a happy relationship, you and your spouse do not always have to agree on everything.

 

There is still hope if you and your partner struggle to become closer. Couples counseling can improve communication and help you clear up misconceptions. Additionally, it can aid both parties in overcoming any intimacy-related issues that could hold them back. Getting assistance is not a sign of shame.

 

Finding the Right Intimacy Therapist

It’s crucial to find a therapist who can help you with your intimacy issues, regardless of what they are. A good therapist is crucial for your healing path, and finding one should not be that difficult if you know what you need. 

For instance, maybe you will prefer in-person sessions, so you will look for an intimacy therapist nearby. Or, you will want someone with years of experience in couples therapy, so you might opt for someone with work experience in that field. Whatever it is you’re looking for, it’s important to feel positive and motivated about working with that therapist because it’s a crucial element of each therapy, especially if you’re working on your intimacy issues. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Erogenous Zones Not To Ignore For Maximum Pleasure

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Erogenous Zones Not To Ignore For Maximum Pleasure

 

To truly boost your sensuality, you need to be aware of erogenous zones that you should not ignore for pleasure. Consider your partner’s ears, lower back, collar bones, and so on when you explore. Sexuality and sensuality are not just about penetration and coitus. If you ever took your time to kiss your partner’s neck and got them aroused that way, you know what we’re talking about here.

Many body parts are unfairly ignored regarding sex, and this article aims to change that once and for all. Say goodbye to repeating the same seduction steps over and over again, and say hello to exploring other areas of the body that can provide the same or even more pleasure for both of you!

 

  • Neck

If you have a neck, you are aware of it. The nape and back of your neck have an abundance of nerve endings that only take a light touch to drive you both crazy. To reach that concentration of nerves, ask your partner to lightly run the tips of their fingers up and down your neck as you kiss. You can also do it to them first and ask them to do the same for you. Establish a no-kissing-on-the-lips rule and ask your partner to concentrate on your neck instead to turn the heat up a notch. Trust us, you will love the tension this move builds!

 

  • Inner Thighs

Have your partner tease your inner thighs for a while before moving on to the main meal. Because of its extreme sensitivity and dense concentration of nerve endings, this skin is particularly receptive to your partner’s bites, nips, and licks. To take things to the next level, urge your spouse to trail an ice cube up and down your thighs and enjoy that new feeling.

 

  • Armpits

You probably don’t think of your armpits while considering foreplay. Your armpits may be a shockingly erogenous area, though, if you can get over a little perspiration, hair, and taboo. Consider it like this: Your underarms are delicate. They may be quite seductive in this region for the same reason that makes them so ticklish.

How to explore: Ask your companion to stroke your underarms softly with the tips of their fingers. Use a gentle up-and-down motion at first, then a quick, circular motion. Pay special attention to what produces the optimum reaction. Sure, it’s amusing, yet it’s also alluring.

 

  • Ears

Despite being very sensual, ears are frequently disregarded, which makes them an even hotter area when you want to turn things up in bed. Because there are so many sensory receptors in the ears, they are really quite sensitive to touch.

Start out by having your lover delicately draw with their fingertips while you are kissing the C-shaped outline of your ear. A little kiss or nibble might potentially ignite a bonfire. Coupled with some below-the-belt movement, this may be an exceptionally potent maneuver; it may even assist you in reaching the peak of your sexual pleasure.

 

  • Hands

The hands are quite seductive. Even a gentle, firm touch can produce waves of feeling. One of the most sensual organs is your hand. Sucking on fingers truly constitutes an oral sexual act. Like sex, a partner may deliver the same signal to the brain’s reward region by sucking on the finger and massaging it with the tongue.

Have your partner slowly make circles with their tongue while they softly kiss the tips of your fingers to explore. Consider using a little mild suction if you’re into it.

 

  • Feet

Even if you don’t like feet or believe you don’t like feet, the proper touch might alter all that. Pressure areas on the foot may cause arousal in certain people. Particularly densely endowed with nerve endings are the arches of your feet, making them extremely sensitive.

You should concentrate on solid, consistent strokes rather than soft, ticklish motions, since some people are ticklish down there. Consider it more like a massage, which is enjoyable and can aid in relaxing, a necessary condition for many women to have orgasms.

 

  • Inside of the Ankle

We may as well discuss the second significant erogenous zone down there—the inside of the ankle—since we’re already down by the feet.

Najjar notes that this particular location is undoubtedly one that may elicit pleasure when stimulated appropriately with mild touch, similar to the wrist. Additionally, it has a sensuous quality that could even make you want to kiss and taste it.

 

  • Scalp

Don’t undervalue the value of some good hair-pulling! Your scalp has millions of tiny nerve endings, and if you’ve ever had your hair pulled during sex, you know it’s an erogenous zone.

You can still profit from the many nerve endings on the scalp, even if ripping off your hair isn’t your thing. It doesn’t matter if you like to stroke your partner’s hair or they prefer to stroke yours—either way, there is still a delightful sexiness to the act.

 

  • Inner Knee

The area behind your knee may not have received much attention in the past, yet try gently massaging it with your hand or having your partner do it, and you’ll discover that it’s far more sensitive than you thought. “If you want to, have your lover lick and cuddle it. It’s a brand-new area waiting to be discovered. It is a direct route to other alluring body regions.

 

  • Lower Back

The back frequently comes up when asked about their preferred erogenous areas. For some people, it’s the interscapular—that difficult-to-reach area between your shoulder blades. (Perhaps that’s what makes it so desirable: it’s out of reach.) If you want, trail down the lower back to the sensitive area just above the ass crease. As you walk beside someone, consider each time they have placed their hand there. Hot, huh? When they contact it while unclothed, it becomes extremely sexy!

 

Final Words

There are a few obvious areas you want your partner to go to when things are getting hot. Your lips, nipples, and genitalia, however, hardly scrape the surface of erogenous zones—those crazy-sensitive hot places that may transform you from zero to gotta-have-it-right-now. There are incredibly sensitive regions of your body that you might not even be aware of. Explore these areas to find the ones that suit you and your partner the most, and enjoy these sexy games!

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Reignite the Spark: Effective Sex Therapy for Married Couples to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Reignite the Spark: Effective Sex Therapy for Married Couples to Strengthen Your Relationship

 

Are you thinking about starting sex therapy for married couples? Although you might think it’s not common, you should consider talking to a health specialist, and this time the treatment area would be your sexual life. Let’s be honest, sex plays a major role in a marriage, and ignoring related issues might lead to other serious issues, such as loss of intimacy and distancing. 

However, what precisely is sex therapy for married couples? If you haven’t tried it yourself, you’ve probably heard about it in your favorite TV show, movie, or on the Internet. This article will share everything there is to know about this type of therapy. 

 

What Is Sex Therapy?

Anyone who needs help overcoming or comprehending anything in their sex life should consider receiving sex therapy. Sex therapy can help you better understand your sexual needs, wants, and desires. By doing this, you’ll feel more comfortable talking to your spouse, who is also your sexual partner.

Sex therapy is a certain kind of psychotherapy. It expands talk therapy to address sexual issues like erectile dysfunction, arousal issues, communication issues with your partner during sexual activity, and more.

According to sex therapists, sexuality is a fundamental aspect of the human experience. They value sexual freedom of thought, action, and imagination. When treating sexual issues, sex therapists take a non-pathologizing stance. This suggests that any problems are dealt with as treatable conditions rather than fatal flaws. Sex therapy for married couples allows you the time and space to reflect on your desires to find a life of pleasure.

 

Why Married Couples Need Sex Therapy?

So many married couples have issues discussing sexuality. When considering or exploring sex, issues of guilt, self-judgment, and humiliation frequently come into play. People who suffer a lack of sex in their marriage sometimes feel pushed, unwanted, unneeded, ugly, and other negative emotions.  

Sex can become a challenging and unpleasant aspect of marriage if the issues are ignored. This often results in a couple that starts distancing themselves from each other, being less intimate with each other, and even communicating less about topics that are not related to sex. Instead of having fulfilling experiences, they start feeling resentment or indifference toward each other.

Simply put, a non-sexual marriage makes you unhappy as a couple. Couples who don’t prioritize developing and enhancing their sexual lives frequently feel that something is missing from their lives. It doesn’t matter if one feels they are doing enough, are good enough for their spouse, or are unattractive or unwanted. These are incredibly difficult emotions to suppress. These emotions frequently integrate deeply into the couple’s interaction. 

Couples in a sexual relationship are more likely to be jovial and pleasant in all aspects of their lives. There is a sense of lightness when sex is discussed, which is pleasant for both people. Other areas of their lives also reflect this lightness. Things are now taken less personally, and communication skills have improved. They have a higher propensity for flirting with one another. As a result, people take things less seriously and are more adaptable in everyday situations. 

A man’s ability to satisfy his spouse sexually plays a significant role in who he is. The reality is that a man who experiences rejection repeatedly often feels this in a very profound way. They are not meeting their partner’s needs, which may make them feel inadequate. All aspects of marriage can undoubtedly be impacted by feelings of inferiority or inadequacy. Along with other areas of his life. 

 

What to Expect from Your First Sex Therapy Session?

Sessions for sex therapy vary widely from person to person and couple to couple. They rely on the challenges and problems you wish to resolve as a couple. You typically begin each session by outlining your and your spouse’s sexual and romantic parts in detail. This helps your therapist comprehend your marriage, how you both see sex in your relationship, and what you wish to improve.

The most important thing in therapy is to be honest; therefore, don’t be shy. Talking about sex can be challenging, yet therapy is a private, secure environment where you can freely express yourself without fear of judgment. Don’t worry if you initially struggle to put things into words; as you progress through sex therapy, you will learn how to do so as well.

You will then discuss your motivation for attending sex therapy. Then you might begin discussing your objectives with the therapist. During the entire process, it is crucial that you are respectful of your partner and the perspective they share with the therapist to make progress. 

Your therapist could discuss your sexual desires, fears, obstacles, fantasies, and goals. These are just some of the questions you can expect to hear from your sex therapist:

  • Is sex important for you at the moment, and how?
  • Are there things preventing you from curiously and confidently experimenting with sex?
  • Is there something your spouse can do to make you more comfortable when having sex? 
  • What difficulties do you now confront in your sexual life?

Your therapist will assist you in beginning to move in the correct direction once they have a clear understanding of where you are and where you want to go.

 

In Final Words

Make sure the therapist makes you feel secure throughout your first appointment. How do you feel when they are talking, or when you are talking to them? Do they respond to your questions, even when you’re unsure how to phrase them? Any therapist you plan to speak with about your most private and sensitive experiences must establish a solid therapeutic environment for both you and your spouse to feel confident in rebuilding sexual connection and intimacy.

However, that path is not that clear if you’re taking it without the help of an expert, such as a sex therapist for married couples. Having someone to guide you while you reconnect with your partner and find the best way to enjoy your sexual life is essential. 

 

Stiff: Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction On-Demand Webinar

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Regain Your Passion: Expert Natural Solutions for Low Libido

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Regain Your Passion: Expert Natural Solutions for Low Libido

 

When one has a low libido, it means their sexual desire has been reduced. It is frequent and may be short- or long-term. Naturally, libido differs from person to person and might change throughout the course of your life. However, if a decline in your libido is upsetting you, you should consult a professional to get the help you need and continue enjoying your sex life like you used to.

 

What Is Libido?

Libido, or the urge for sexual activity, is a word that is frequently used to describe sexual drive. In terms of sexuality, sexual health refers to a condition of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being. Furthermore, contemporary medical professionals understand the significance of libido as one of the most important markers of overall health and quality of life.

Psychiatrists and psychoanalysts have used the term “libido” in their work throughout history to refer to various concepts. These include Carl Jung, who defined libido as psychic energy, and Freud, who included it on one side of his innate dualism. These broad concepts are rarely employed in modern times, and when discussing libido, we tend to focus largely on sexual drive.

The genesis of libido was formerly thought to be biological. Today, many developmental, psychological, and cultural variables impact desire. Natural selection is acknowledged as a key factor in Darwinian evolution, driving organisms to reproduce and pass on their genetic makeup to the next generation.

What Is Low Libido?

Reducing the frequency and/or intensity of your previous sexual desire is known as low libido (low sex drive). It could be short-term or ongoing.

Your libido, which encompasses having sex with a partner and masturbating, is your total sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Complex biological, psychological, and social elements all influence libido. Sexual hormones like testosterone and estrogen, as well as neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, control desire biologically.

Naturally, libido differs greatly from person to person. Your sexual desire may alter during the course of your life. There is no ideal or undesirable libido level. Some people desire or have sex daily, while others may only desire sex sometimes. Your choices and circumstances will determine what libido is “right” or “normal” for you.

However, it’s crucial to speak with a medical practitioner or mental health expert if a decline in libido is upsetting you. These are factors you will need to consider when talking about low libido:

  • Issues in your relationship,
  • Medical issues,
  • Hormonal imbalances,
  • Mental health issues,
  • Certain medications,
  • Stressful situations and experiences, 
  • Aging.

 

Low Libido Symptoms

A drop in sexual desire compared to your usual interest in sex is the primary sign of low libido. Other symptoms include:

  • having no interest in sex of any kind or a decline in interest in sex, including masturbation.
  • a decline in sex-related thoughts or desires.
  • feeling depressed or dissatisfied over having a weak desire for sex.

Even though your differences may be upsetting, neither of you is particularly out of the ordinary for people in your stage of life if you desire to have sex less frequently than your spouse does.

Similarly, even though your sex urge has decreased, your relationship could be better than ever. In conclusion, there is no definitive threshold for reduced sexual drive. From person to person, it differs.

 

What Causes Low Libido?

There are various biological, psychological, and social causes of low libido.

Any person may have a decline in sex desire due to any number of health issues, including yet not limited to:

  • Headaches,
  • Cancer,
  • Diabetes,
  • Chronic kidney disease.
  • Chronic pain,
  • Heart diseases,
  • High blood pressure,
  • Rheumatoid arthritis, etc.

There are psychological and societal variables that might cause anyone’s sexual desire to drop. One of the most frequent reasons for a drop in sexual desire is relationship concerns, such as challenges with intimacy, communication, or trust. Over the course of a relationship, a couple’s desire for sex frequently diminishes.

Stress, whether from work, family, or life in general, can lessen your desire for sex by diverting your attention from it. Stress that is ongoing may have an impact on your hormone levels, which will lower your libido.

Your libido may decline if you have poor self-esteem, experience despondency, or feel physically worn out. In addition, depression leads to an imbalance in the neurotransmitters that control desire. The “stress hormone,” cortisol, can become more active due to anxiety. Cortisol levels that are too high might reduce the sex hormones that affect your sexual drive. Additionally, there are a number of ailments and circumstances that impact libido that apply to those assigned female at birth and those assigned male at birth.

 

Low Libido Treatment

A healthcare practitioner will inquire about your: Due to the fact that there are various potential explanations for a reduction in sex desire:

  • Your symptoms,
  • Medical background,
  • History of medications,
  • Sexual background,
  • Relationships,
  • Tension level,
  • Sexual thoughts, 

The following tests may be performed or requested if a doctor suspects that a medical problem may be the reason for a decreased libido and wants to help identify the condition’s cause:

  • Examination of your body,
  • Pelvis examination,
  • Hormone levels,
  • Image-based exams.

 

The reason for low libido (low sex desire) determines the course of treatment. There are several therapy possibilities.

You may be able to get over your concerns about sexual function by learning more about sex, sexual activities, and sexual reactions. Many obstacles to a good sexual life may be solved by having a direct and honest conversation with your spouse about your wants and worries.

Utilizing strategies to enhance how you react to challenges in your life is known as stress management. These methods can stop or lessen the effects of stress, including reduced libido. Journaling, exercise, meditation, and other types of self-care may all be used to relieve stress.

Hormone treatment (HT) increases hormone levels while easing some menopausal symptoms, such as reduced libido. Estrogen treatment and estrogen-progesterone/progestin hormone therapy (EPT) are the two primary kinds of HT. Healthcare professionals use TRT to treat male hypogonadism, or low testosterone. There are several variations of testosterone replacement treatment, including tablets, creams, injections, and patches.

 

In Final Words

Consult a medical practitioner or mental health expert if you’re having problems in your relationship or are going through emotional discomfort as a result of a decline in libido.

They may offer advice on how to improve relationships and ways of life. They can offer medicine if an underlying medical issue is a problem. Talk to your doctor about modifying the drug or attempting an alternative if you’re concerned about how a medicine may affect your sexual desire.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

intimacy coaching

Intimacy Coaching & Best Techniques To be Intimate with Your Partner

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Intimacy Coaching & Best Techniques To be Intimate with Your Partner

If you’re striving to feel free and more connected with your partner, you should consider intimacy coaching. Although we all know that intimacy is key in every relationship. Understanding what intimacy actually is and how to achieve it is not as easy as it seems. The reason for that is our past experiences where we’ve gotten hurt emotionally and/or physically. This led to fear of being intimate with another person and is a consequential issue for the majority of couples.

 

What does an intimacy coach do?

An intimacy coach is a person who will eliminate this intimacy blockage for you and help you feel safer and more connected to your lover or partner. By developing a sense of safety in their clients, intimacy coaches are replacing those unpleasant experiences by creating new. Positive ones. 

Being guided by an expert, a person will develop a greater sense of closeness, become more aware of their own emotions. As well as of other people’s emotions. All of this leads 

to healing attachment wounds which are not allowing people to connect on a deeper level with each other.

 

Understanding your fear of intimacy

You don’t have to be aware of your intimacy triggers before going into the session with your intimacy coach, yet realizing what is causing your fear is the first step to healing. As we are born with the need to connect and share with others. Something must happen in order to disconnect ourselves from that need. In reality, that need to connect and share never disappears, we just disconnect from it because something or someone hurt us before.

Because of the fear of intimacy, you will feel afraid when thinking of starting a new relationship or expressing your feelings during a discussion with your best friend, for instance. 

However, where there is fear, there is an opportunity for healing. More importantly, you don’t have to go down that road alone. An intimacy coach will turn it into an explorative experience rather than painful, ensuring you feel safe and nurtured during the process.

 

Intimacy Risk Factors

Our first intimate interaction is with our family. Often, these families are not healthy and safe environments for children to learn about intimacy. Some of the most common examples are: 

  • Blurred boundaries and roles in the family: Everything might seem perfect at first glance, yet some family members won’t fulfil their role responsibility. 
  • Emotional and/or physical neglect: Parents who are not there for their children – emotionally or physically – are teaching them they can’t rely on others. 
  • Parent loss: A feeling of abandonment will appear where a parent has been lost through death, divorce or any other event. 
  • Parent illness: Having an ill parent can lead to intimacy issues as the child takes on the role of the parent and cares for others in the family, sometimes including the ill parent as well. 

Unfortunately, there are many more risk factors such as verbal, physical or sexual abuse, parent substance use or any other type of addiction, yet regardless of the cause, each person can learn how to be intimate with their significant other. 

 

How to cope with intimacy issues? 

There are several crucial steps on the path of restoring intimacy with intimacy coaching. It’s worth saying that intimacy issues can only be solved once the person starts connecting again with their intimacy. Once you understand what caused you pain and disconnection from others, you will be able to change your patterns and feel safer during interactions.

To feel connected with others, here are the techniques that will create positive sensations and experiences and finally heal the intimacy issue a person has:

Embrace the uncertainty 

What if someone tells you that the most beautiful aspect of life is that you actually can’t plan or predict anything? The walls you have built in your childhood have been protecting you as a child, yet they don’t serve you anymore. You have created the illusion that you are safer when you are not engaging with others when in reality. That illusion is taking something incredibly valuable from you. With an intimacy coach, you will practice courage, and it will become easier to invest in new relationships without feeling like you are risking your wellbeing.

 

Accept yourself first

Under the fear of intimacy lies the fear of not being worthy of a connection with someone. If you’re afraid to express your feelings to your partner, you are probably not allowing yourself fully to feel them. It’s not easy to become comfortable with all your emotions. Yet it will be harder if you expect from others something you are not able to give yourself first. 

Congratulate yourself when you make that step towards others instead of focusing on the outcome. For instance, inviting someone to go for a walk will be less terrifying once you celebrate the achievement of solely inviting someone instead of waiting for their response. After all, once your focus changes, you will no longer care that much about the outcome. 

 

Write a letter to yourself from the past

You have probably heard this technique quite a few times, yet have you ever tried it? It’s incredibly powerful to take a walk into your past and talk to yourself as if you were two friends sitting on the school bench sharing secrets. What would you say to that little kid? Maybe it will be to speak up more when the opportunity presents. To accept every birthday party invitation although there’s not enough money in the house to buy a present or to write all those fiction stories down and practice its creativity? 

 

Determine what you want

In reality, it’s not so much what you want, it’s what you DON’T want. Maybe the feeling of anxiety comes because all your friends are married and you can’t find the person you wish to share your life with? Before blaming it all on yourself, ask yourself if this is something you want. Sometimes, we will try to be what we think we should be instead of doing things that truly make us happy. Keep in mind that the only person that always deserves your unconditional intimacy is you.

 

Practice patience

This is maybe the hardest technique of them all, yet it’s also the most important one. If you don’t practice patience, it will be difficult to progress. Putting too many expectations on yourself when you’re coping with something so vulnerable as your intimacy can only make things worse for you. Be patient. It will take some time and that’s perfectly fine. You have spent various years in unhealthy environments which led to fear of intimacy. So expecting this fear to disappear quickly is simply not rational.

 

Quick intimacy tips for couples

Let’s be clear, fear of intimacy can only be cured if someone like an intimacy coach has helped you understand what caused your fear and provide you with the tools to connect with others and feel good during it. However, there are several things that you can start practicing with your partner daily if you’re both looking to resolve your intimacy issues:

  • Hold hands more often. 
  • Be more emotionally aware and vulnerable during sex.
  • Initiate sex differently. 
  • Plan out your time together.
  • Every month, try out an activity that’s new for both of you. 
  • Talk about your relationship – share ideas, dreams, fears, etc.
  • Focus more on seduction instead of sex. 

 

A step to intimacy…

Don’t stop just by reading this article. You are worth every connection you wish to make in your life. You have every right to share your feelings with someone who will appreciate it and feel honoured you trust them so much. The more you start practicing being open to new people and experiences. This fear will slowly disappear and you will start enjoying connecting and sharing with those important to you.

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists! 

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems. 

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs. 

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.