What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night?

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What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night? Secrets to Connection and Intimacy Revealed

 

What do couples really do in bed at night? It’s not just what you think. 😉

Most guys overlook the small but powerful ways to build connection before sleep.

From unwinding together to physical touch and playful intimacy, these moments create a deeper bond and keep the spark alive.

In our latest YouTube video, we’re diving into the little-known secrets of what truly makes couples feel connected at night. It’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional closeness, trust, and the small rituals that strengthen your relationship.

We’ll explore:

  • The best ways to unwind together before bed
  • How physical touch (even non-sexual) deepens intimacy
  • Fun and playful habits that keep the spark alive
  • The power of nighttime conversations for emotional connection
  • Simple rituals happy couples swear by

Want to strengthen your relationship and feel closer to your partner? Watch the full video now and discover how to make your nights more meaningful.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Wildest Things to Do With Your Boyfriend

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Wildest Things to Do With Your Boyfriend

 

Are you looking for some of the wildest things to do with your boyfriend to spice up your relationship a bit? No matter the season, meaningful dates allow you to embrace your wild side while also celebrating your love.

Before we dive into our list of ideas, keep in mind that what is wild for one person might not be interesting for another. Think about your personalities and interests, and try to come up with the options that will become your craziest memories. We have put together a list of ideas that can help you make the best plan. These ideas will help you forget about your everyday life and focus on the fun and excitement!

1.Night in an Unusual Stay

There’s nothing wrong with booking a fancy, five-star hotel to relax and connect. However, if you’re both into something more adventurous, there are many alternatives. For example, you might want to book a night in an igloo, treehouse, yurt, cave hotel, or a boat. Any of these ideas will definitely provide you with incredible memories. Importantly, you will see another side of your partner and possibly learn something new.

While you’re there, surprise your partner with a sexy plan, such as roleplaying or outdoor sex. Who said you can do two things at once?

 

2.Fantasy Roleplay Night

Okay, we already mentioned roleplay as a suggestion to make your stay even more memorable. Yet, you can truly take your fantasy and roleplay to another level. You can plan an entire night around it. Whichever characters you want to embody that night, make sure that you think of all the details that can help you truly become this person.

Think of clothes, wigs, make-up, environment, accents, phrases, and anything else that can turn on your partner. For instance, if they’re a Star Wars fan, dress as Princess Leia, and your partner can be Han Solo for a night.

 

3.Five Senses Evening

We often forget how sensory information can be impactful, especially in seduction. How about planning an entire night around driving each other crazy by activating their five senses? You can start the evening by feeding each other with sushi or any other finger food. When feeding them, ask them to close their eyes or wear a blindfold to focus on how the food tastes.

Then, offer them a massage with an aromatic oil that will help you set the mood right. Make sure that the touch is sensual. You can even whisper something in their ear to prepare them for this adventurous night. Put on sensual music, light a few candles, and use clothes made of breathable fabrics like silk or organic cotton for a full experience.

4.Movie Director for a Night

Even if you’re not so much into movies or directing, this one is fun. Tell your partner to direct one night, and you’ll direct another. In other words, write the script with all the technical instructions on how to behave, talk, walk, and dress. Build a story that will be exciting for both of you. For instance, strangers seducing each other in a bar, having wild sex in your car in your garage, or anything else that will turn you on.

Just think about how interesting it can be to play the role that your partner has created for you and immerse yourself in their story. You can come back to this scenario anytime you need to escape from your everyday life and want to become someone else just for fun. Bonus points for recording the night and watching it later! Also, plan to use a safeword.

5.Surprise Your Partner with an Unplanned Road Trip

Who doesn’t like safe surprises? Well, pack your partner’s and your stuff and surprise them with a road trip. If you two are playful, tease them with hints along the ride. While you’re building the excitement around what’s coming, make sure you enjoy this experience too.

You can spend a night in a bed and breakfast outside the city or a hotel in a different state, depending on your preferences. After all, it’s more about surprising your partner and the ride to the location than the location itself. Being adventurous like this can introduce a new dynamic in your relationship and encourage your partner to do the same.

 

Embrace Your Wild Side

We all tend to get caught up in our daily responsibilities that are not so wild. On the contrary, our lives become very predictable, and our relationships can help us remember what excites us, how we feel when we are adventurous, and what exactly we need to bring out our wildest selves.

Oftentimes, our relationships are our safest spaces, so it’s easier to explore a side of us we don’t see so often with someone we trust. Whatever seems wild to you can be a great idea for a date or a unique experience with your partner. Whether that’s sex in public or sending sexy messages throughout the day to prepare yourself for a wild night, just do it. When you start to use these parts of you, it is encouraging to continue doing so!

Having fun is so crucial for intimacy, and we often completely forget about it. That’s why I named my book Playtime. 

We prioritize everything else that feels more aligned with our adult life; however, being wild and playful is essential!

If this is something you’ve been thinking about for a while, talk to your partner and start small if you don’t feel ready to try one of the ideas mentioned above. Send a sexy photo or practice dirty talk before sex.

Very soon, you’ll both realize how essential these moments are for your relationship. If you want to talk more about this, book a session with us or start your journey at home with kink 101. 

 

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

Kinky Sex

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Standing Sex Positions

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11 Best Standing Sex Positions To Elevate Pleasure, According To Sex Experts

 

Standing sex positions have become an exciting way for couples to connect physically and emotionally. Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, a leading therapist, shares her expert insights in a Women’s Health article on how standing sex can refresh and deepen your relationship.

 

Why Try Standing Sex?

Standing positions offer an adventurous change from traditional bedroom routines. Dr. Pasciucco highlights that these positions encourage greater physical closeness, requiring more flexibility and coordination. “Standing together can create a sense of vulnerability and connection,” she notes, helping couples build a stronger emotional bond. This sense of vulnerability often leads to a more authentic and deeper connection between partners.

Benefits of Standing Positions

One major advantage of standing positions is the spontaneity they bring. By breaking free from the usual patterns, couples can explore new dynamics. Dr. Amanda explains that standing positions foster better communication and physical and emotional alignment. This dynamic can deepen intimacy and strengthen trust between partners, leading to a more rewarding and fulfilling sexual experience. Standing sex can also encourage couples to become more in tune with each other’s body language, promoting mutual understanding and closeness.

Exploring New Positions

Dr. Pasciucco suggests starting with slow experimentation for couples new to standing positions. Positions like “standing doggy style” or “standing missionary” offer a variety of sensations, allowing partners to explore new forms of closeness and connection. Don’t be afraid to adjust or modify positions to find what works best. The key is to communicate openly about comfort and pleasure, allowing both partners to fully enjoy the experience.

Emotional Intimacy and Standing Positions

Standing positions are not just about the physical experience—they can also strengthen emotional intimacy. As Dr. Amanda explains, these positions require partners to stay more in tune with each other’s needs and comfort. The closeness that comes with standing sex can lead to deeper emotional connections and better communication, which are important for a healthy relationship.

Read the article in Women’s Health to learn about the 11 Best Standing Sex Positions

Conclusion

Standing positions are a fun and intimate way to spice up your relationship. With Dr. Pasciucco’s insights, couples can use standing sex as an opportunity to grow closer, both physically and emotionally. By communicating openly and exploring new positions, you can enhance your connection and bring more excitement into your intimate life. Plus, standing sex can be a great way to introduce spontaneity, trust, and variety into your sexual routine.

Author:

For more tips and insights, check out the original article on Women’s Health.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer), PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Babygirl Full Movie

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Sex Therapist Reviews Babygirl Full Movie and Discusses All the Subtle Hints!

 

The Babygirl full movie is one of the best I’ve seen in a long time. Halina Rejin explores dual relationships and non-monogamy with authenticity and depth. The story is told from the perspective of a woman executive navigating the integration of her many parts, offering a refreshing and emotionally engaging narrative.

The film delves into themes of self-discovery, workplace dynamics, kink, and power struggles. Rejin skillfully balances vulnerability and strength, highlighting how intimacy intersects with ambition and control. Each scene feels intentional, offering viewers moments of both discomfort and revelation.

With bold storytelling and nuanced eroticism, Babygirl explores desire, identity, and relationships in ways few films dare to. The characters are multifaceted, each one bringing the intricacies of human connection to life. The movie doesn’t shy away from addressing taboo topics, challenging viewers to question societal norms around sexuality, power, and the roles we play in relationships.

As a sex therapist, I appreciate the film’s sensitivity in examining how past experiences, insecurities, and evolving needs shape our intimate lives. The portrayal of non-monogamy feels realistic and avoids sensationalism, showing both the challenges and rewards of exploring less conventional paths.

Babygirl also shines in its depiction of how different aspects of identity—personal, professional, and sexual—can coexist. It invites viewers to consider how they integrate these parts of themselves, especially in moments of vulnerability and growth.

This movie serves as both a form of entertainment and a deep reflection on love, power, and connection. It’s a rare gem that sparks meaningful conversations long after the credits roll. Whether you’re curious about non-monogamy or simply enjoy complex storytelling, Babygirl is a must-watch.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Intimacy Coordinator

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Intimacy Coordinator + Being a Safety Net for Actors 

 

An intimacy coordinator is a person who ensures a safe, respectful, and consensual environment during intimate scenes in film, theater, television, or other art or production forms. Their goal is to provide valuable insight when choreographing scenes that involve physical intimacy, nudity, or stimulated sexual acts with a focus on the well-being of the actors and crew. 

For the past hundred years, the entertainment industry has been producing and promoting countless movies and series, which often involve these types of scenes. Not until recently have actors been able to trust someone to look out for them in vulnerable moments. 

This article will explain why intimacy coordinators are vital to actors’ well-being and the industry’s future. Find out the key responsibilities of intimacy coordinators and how to become one if you’re interested. 

 

Definition of an Intimacy Coordinator

For the past few years, you might have heard actors and producers talking about the importance of intimacy coordinators. They are present during shooting moments that involve nudity, physical intimacy, or simulated sexual acts to ensure that nobody is pushed beyond their own wellbeing. 

For instance, it’s a known fact that many movies in history have included two actors completely nude, showing expressions of physical intimacy without care for their mental health. The art was above everything, even the well-being of the actors and the crew. I have heard people in the industry say things like “you must suffer for your art.”

That is why the role of intimacy coordinator is so essential in today’s movies and series. A recent example can be found in the ‘Firefly Lane’ TV series. The lead actress, Katherine Heigl, shared how grateful she feels that all scenes were recorded with the presence of an intimacy coordinator. Similarly, in the Babygirl Movie, the director and main actress reported that the presence of an professional was beneficial. 

Without an  coordinator, these young girls would have to fight for themselves, hoping the director and others saw their best interests, which was often not the case. 

 

Key Responsibilities of an Intimacy Coordinator

To ensure that all parties involved are secured from any harm, an intimacy coordinator has several responsibilities. One of the most important ones is facilitating communication between actors and the crew. Intimacy coordinators are like liaisons between the two sides of this industry. Before filming or rehearsing, they discuss each scene’s nature and boundaries. 

Besides communication, intimacy coordinators establish consent and boundaries by working with actors to define their personal comfort levels and boundaries. With the presence of these professionals, actors will not feel pressure to perform beyond what was previously agreed upon. 

Another key responsibility is choreographing intimate scenes. To ensure story continuity and professionalism, an intimacy coordinator plans and blocks physical interactions. Akin to a stunt or dance routine, they structure and repeat intimacy.

Most importantly, intimacy coordinators make actors, crew, and anyone else who wants to enter this exciting world feel safe. For example, if you dream of an acting career yet are afraid that your beliefs, boundaries, and comfort will be questioned, an intimacy coordinator is your safety net. 

Lastly, these professionals also ensure legal and ethical compliance. They do so by ensuring that productions comply with union guidelines and legal standards regarding nudity and simulated acts. They can also implement modesty garments, barriers, or other protective measures when sensual scenes happen.

 

How to Become an Intimacy Coordinator

SAG-AFTRA-accredited professional certificates in intimacy coordinating can be obtained through different venues. To be included in the union’s intimacy coordinator register, you must combine relevant training and job experience. 

Aspiring intimacy coordinators are advised by SAG to show intent, develop their skill set, and network to obtain employment experience. To demonstrate interest in this emerging sector, future intimacy coordinators should participate in industry conversations. Another great idea is to join relevant organizations, attend networking events, build company relationships, find mentors, and look for assistance or shadowing.

To be an intimacy coordinator in the United States, a person will need to meet a few requirements, including:

  • Pass a state and federal background check
  • Obtain intimacy coordinator certification from a SAG-AFTRA-approved training program
  • Continue educating yourself about sexual storytelling, communication, consent, gender, sexual diversity, sensitivity, movement coaching, masking, and power dynamics 
  • Gain knowledge about union contracts that discuss simulated sex
  • Seek mentorship opportunities from an established intimacy coordinator

Also, many professionals have previously worked as sex and relationship coaches. This allowed them to have relevant experience working with couples and individuals and learning different methods to establish boundaries and build mutual respect. Such knowledge is extremely beneficial for intimacy coordinators. 

 

Conclusion

It’s not a surprise that everyone, including sex therapists, is celebrating this rising trend in the entertainment industry. Intimacy coordinators establish a professional atmosphere that discourages exploitation or inappropriate behavior, contributing to improving the conditions of the industry. Because of intimacy coordinators, awareness of the need for workplace safety and consent is growing as well. Actors and crew members have been vocal about their need for an independent professional who can protect their boundaries in a healthy and sustainable way. 

With the right training and education, intimacy coordinators can protect everyone involved in rehearsing and producing vulnerable scenes. By standing up for each person in this industry, intimacy coordinators are ensuring that the work environment of these people is not as harmful as it was before. Just like it is with any other profession, workers have every right to have their boundaries respected and not be traumatized during their work hours. 

If you want to learn more about making an appointment with one of our celebrity therapists, book here.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What is Intimacy to a Man

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What is Intimacy to a Man: Key Insights You Need to Know

 

If you’ve wondered, ‘What is intimacy to a man?’, this article is for you. Men or women, we tend to believe that intimacy means the same to all of us when, in reality, intimacy can mean different things to each of us. For instance, one person might consider deep, heart-to-heart conversations as their way of intimacy, and another might prefer physical touch, whether that’s hugging, kissing, caressing, or having sex.

So, what does intimacy mean to a man? Do men and women seek different things when it comes to intimacy? Continue reading, as we’ve spent some time researching this topic and have come up with intriguing conclusions. 

 

Men + Intimacy

Many men value intimacy in their marriages and relationships just as much as they do in their personal lives. Being completely aware of your partner’s preferences, dislikes, shortcomings, and strengths while intentionally taking them into account when you relate to him is what it means to be intimate with him.

Although many men and women will often confuse love with sex, intimacy goes beyond sex. It’s about gradually developing a relationship with someone, feeling you’re close to each other, building trust, and always being able to count on that person. 

Developing a strong emotional connection with your partner is the goal of intimacy, which goes well beyond sex and may be accomplished in a number of ways. Keep in mind that all relationships take work. Falling in love with someone might feel perfect at first, yet once you start building a relationship together, there will be so much to work on. One of these things is to understand what intimacy means to each of you. 

We can say that for a man, intimacy definitely involves knowing your partner and being aware of the reasons that are keeping them in love. In other words, men need emotional connection just as much as women do. The way they ask for it, talk about it, or how frequently they need it might be different from one man to another. 

 

Value of Intimacy In Relationships

What are the long-term perks of developing emotional connections and seeking couples counseling? There are undoubtedly certain advantages to developing a relationship with someone over time. One of the most significant is that being intimate with someone you love and trust increases your self-confidence and helps you feel more protected. 

Also, you develop greater maturity in handling problems as you go through them. Learn more about the significance of developing emotional closeness by reading on.

 

1.Credibility

One of the cornerstones of wholesome partnerships is trust. Better knowing and strengthening your relationship boosts your confidence and trust in your partner. It’s akin to working with a group of people who share your interests. You have greater faith in them because you are pursuing the same objective.

 

2.Passion

Become more passionate if you want to learn how to develop emotional connections with other people. Being focused on a relationship makes you more aware of your and their needs. It develops your attention to detail, intuition, and intentionality, which, in results, brings you closer together and makes your relationship even stronger. 

 

3.No Judgment

For men, a big part of intimacy is being able to share things with you and not feel judged or ashamed. They will also appreciate your loyalty above everything. As a woman becomes more connected to her friends than her partner, her partner will notice, which will affect intimacy.  

 

4.Physical Closeness

Focusing on physical contact is one technique to foster connection in a marriage. Attraction to your spouse comes from getting to know them, including physical contact. What type of hug your partner needs after a long day? Do they prefer making love or having wild sex? What is their attitude towards kissing and the locations where it occurs? Learning all this information leads to more intimacy. Remember, physical closeness and emotional intimacy often share a close relationship.

 

5.Safety

Being intimate with someone leads to feeling safe. Men need to feel safe as much as women do. The issue is that we think of safety as opposed to physical danger. Safety refers to our emotions, interests, and sense of belonging. A man needs to know that if they cry, you won’t make fun of them, and that their home is a safe place to relax after a stressful day at work.

 

Obstacles to Intimacy for Men

This is a significant topic since it touches on how society views and treats men when it comes to intimacy. Socialization and cultural norms play a significant role in why some men may find intimacy difficult. Also, every man has his own personality, attachment style, and upbringing, all of which influence his need and desire for closeness.

For most men, intimacy could be considered a huge dark hole. Many feel vulnerable and uneasy when asked how they feel or to discuss an emotional topic.

Many men hold the belief that women are the only ones who can express and discuss their emotions. They believe that they ought to be tough and emotionless. However, despite the fact that many men find it difficult to communicate, they still look for understanding, connection, and emotional support. Most of the time, men need those conditions to feel close or intimate with someone.

 

Conclusion

Making connections—including relationships—is essential to life. These meaningful connections provide us the motivation to live and pursue our objectives. Developing an emotional bond with your partner is a valuable step to enjoying your relationship. 

This relationship guide provides tips for developing an emotional connection with a man. If you follow them, you’ll look back on your choices with pride one day. Couples counseling is a viable option if you need further guidance on learning more about ways to be intimate with the teacher. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Important is Sex to a Man in a Relationship!

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How Important is Sex to a Man in a Relationship!

 

Let’s talk about this important question: How important is sex to a man in a relationship?

Spoiler alert — it’s not just about importance. It’s about frequency, definitions, and asking the right questions.

Sex plays a multifaceted role in relationships. For many men, it’s not just a physical act but an emotional connection. Understanding this means exploring more than just whether sex is “important.” It’s about discovering what intimacy means to both partners and how often it feels fulfilling.

Frequency matters, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. Some men associate regular intimacy with feeling loved or desired. For others, quality outweighs quantity. Open conversations about expectations can clear misconceptions and build trust.

Equally crucial is defining what “sex” means. It can encompass physical touch, playful teasing, or moments of closeness that deepen connection.

Ready to reframe the way you think about sex? Begin by asking the right questions—open, honest, and judgment-free. What does intimacy mean to him, and how can you navigate it together?

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.. 

 

Not Attracted to Husband

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Not Attracted to Husband: What Should I Do?

 

When preparing for your wedding, you’re probably not even considering that there could be times when you’re not attracted to husband. Although it might sound odd if it hasn’t happened to you, not feeling attracted to your partner is common and can be solved with the right approach.

We hope to explain why this occurs and what couples can do to feel more intimate with one another. So if you feel that your marriage needs help with sex and passion, keep reading this blog.

 

What Is Attraction in a Relationship? 

We use the word ‘attraction’ so often; however, defining it is not as easy as saying it. So, what is attraction? To describe attraction, we must think of desire, interest, or affinity that could be emotional, physical, sexual, or aesthetic. That said, people very often believe that attraction is related only to something romantic, while simply admiring someone can be considered a type of attraction. 

In a relationship, you can feel all these different types of attraction towards your partner. For example, you might be interested in learning more about how your partner approaches work responsibilities and learn from him that way. You could also admire his appearance after they have put so much time into improving their health and physique. 

Although you admire your partner, consider them your close friend, and so much more, it’s not uncommon to feel a lack of sexual attraction. You might even blame yourself for not feeling. Yet it’s important to remember that it’s not something humans are able to force. You feel something, or you don’t. Your focus shouldn’t be on forcing yourself to feel that attraction. It should be on understanding the reasons it’s not there. 

 

Factors that Impact Sexual Attraction 

When in a long relationship or marriage, it’s expected that the sexual attraction will not be as strong as it was in the beginning when everything was exciting. Over time, you may find yourself not attracted to husband in the same way. But that doesn’t mean the attraction is gone forever. Understanding what leads to that lack of attraction can help you restore it in your marriage.

Any marriage must include sexual fulfillment, which is frequently seen as essential to preserving a happy and healthy union. However, partners often have different needs, wants, and expectations when it comes to sex, making sexual fulfillment in marriage a challenge. Communication, connection, trust, and physical and mental well-being are just a few of the numerous factors that impact attraction in marriage.

 

Communication

Any successful couple should communicate effectively, and this is particularly true when it comes to sex. The likelihood of sexual satisfaction in a marriage is higher for couples who can discuss their sexual needs, wants, and preferences in an honest and open manner. 

Talking openly and honestly with your spouse is a good place to start if you are having trouble feeling attracted to them. Make sure you both are clear about what you enjoy and don’t like. Instead of pointing fingers or condemning one another, concentrate on figuring out how to make your sexual connection better. Also, keep in mind that communication, in general, can help you feel more connected. Which can then lead to more desire and need for physical touch. 

 

Intimacy

Another crucial element in attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage is intimacy. If you find yourself not attracted to husband, it may be a sign that emotional intimacy needs attention, in addition to physical connection. Sharing your ideas, feelings, and experiences with your spouse builds emotional closeness, which can reignite attraction.

Make an effort to spend quality time together, both in and out of the bedroom, to increase closeness in your marriage. Cuddling, holding hands, and massaging one another are a few examples of this. Try to establish a secure and comfortable environment where you and your spouse may explore your sexual dreams and desires while still being present and aware of their needs.

 

Trust

Any successful couple must trust each other, and this is particularly true when it comes to feeling attracted and secure. It might be challenging to really enjoy sex and explore your sexuality if you don’t feel safe or at ease with your partner.

Try to be open and truthful with your spouse about your feelings, wants, and opinions in order to foster trust in your marriage. Refrain from holding secrets or concealing anything, and be open to hearing your partner’s worries. Keep in mind that developing trust takes time and that both parties must be dedicated to creating a solid and wholesome relationship. 

 

Emotional and Physical Well-Being 

Lastly, attaining sexual fulfillment in a marriage depends on both mental and physical well-being. It might be challenging to completely participate in and enjoy sex if you are dealing with mental or physical health conditions like stress, anxiety, or depression. 

Try to maintain a good diet, get lots of rest and relaxation. And exercise frequently to enhance your mental and physical well-being. Think about getting professional assistance from a therapist or counselor if you are experiencing mental health problems. Keep in mind that keeping a happy and healthy marriage depends on you taking care of yourself. 

 

Invest In Your Marriage

If all of the above is not an issue in your marriage. Then it’s time to pay closer attention to what has changed. What was different when you felt attracted to them? Has something changed in your or your partner’s life? Noticing these details might be difficult, so you should consider reaching out to a therapist. You could look for an individual therapist or a marital counselor, depending on how your partner feels about this subject.

Whatever you choose, make sure you are open to discussing these issues with an expert. Sometimes, a person might feel ashamed, insecure, or even ungrateful if complaining about their spouse to a third person. That is why it’s important to keep in mind that a therapist can help you only if they know all the vital information about the reason you seek therapy. In therapy, there is no judgment, and you are invited to share everything that can help you improve your marriage. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

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How Much Masturbation is Too Much?

If you’re wondering, ‘how much masturbation is too much’ this may help! Start by saying there’s no masturbation rule. Frequency, inspiration, place, and other factors can be unique for each person. One person might enjoy masturbating only on weekends when they are relaxed and not stressed about their responsibilities, whereas another person might prefer doing it every night before going to sleep.

However, our preferences are put aside if a person starts masturbating too much, and it starts impacting other areas of their lives, including romantic relationships and friendships. If you’re unable to focus at work because you’re thinking about your desire to masturbate, it’s recommended to take a closer look at when these urges appear and what they replace. For such an analysis, it’s best to talk to your therapist openly to connect the dots and find a way to delight in masturbation without it taking a toll on other things that matter to you.

Why Do We Masturbate? 

For most of us, our first masturbation experiences occurred in puberty. That is when we start noticing this desire to please ourselves on a physical level. Then, as we grow older, our reasons for masturbating can be affected by our religious beliefs, family upbringing, peer pressure, exposure to culture, stress, and so on. 

We masturbate for different reasons. These reasons can be pleasure, tension release, fun, enjoyment, and learning more about one’s sexuality. In other words, if you know what excites you, it will be easier to achieve it with your sexual partner. Another reason that is often ignored is being able to fall asleep after masturbation. An orgasm can help you fall asleep quicker because it helps you release the tension you have accumulated in your body. 

There are also different ways of masturbating. Some people will enjoy masturbating with their partners as part of foreplay, while others will prefer to be alone to truly experience that level of pleasure. You may prefer to masturbate while watching something sexually exciting on screen, or you can close your eyes and imagine scenes. For most people, there is neither one nor the other option.

Is Masturbation Harmful? 

Typically, there are no consequences for people who masturbate often. In some cases, men will report swelling of the penis or chafing skin in both men and women if their masturbation is a bit rough. None of these are permanent, and they usually go away in a matter of a few days.

Other factors determine the effects of masturbation on your relationship. Masturbate because your partner isn’t pleasing you sexually. Discuss it with them and find a solution. It is fantastic if you do solo sex because you feel more connected to your partner and thus yourself. Masturbation will rarely be the only reason for an issue in your life; it will instead be a symptom of a more underlying problem. 

For example, if you’re under a lot of stress and feel like you can’t keep up with your boss’ expectations, you might use masturbation as a form to release tension and survive a stressful day. This might lead to you going to the bathroom several times a day, impacting your productivity and putting you in conflict with your colleagues and supervisor. 

The consequences of masturbation are not direct, so it’s difficult to say precisely how much masturbation is too much or when it’s time to start worrying. That is why it’s best to bring this topic up with your therapist and see if it’s time for a different approach to masturbation.

Myths About Masterbation

When we talk about what’s too much in terms of masturbation, it’s important to address myths. Believing everything you read or hear about masturbation may limit your enjoyment or force you to make bad decisions. 

 

1.Too Much of It Causes Erectile Dysfunction

The inability to achieve or sustain an erection during sexual activity is referred to as erectile dysfunction. Masturbating is not one of many causes of sexual dysfunction. In actuality, frequent masturbation causes you to grow accustomed to your own touch or a particular type of sensation. You can find it even challenging to experience orgasms with your partner. 

 

2.Masturbation Is Not Good For Your Health

Many scientists believe there are health benefits to masturbating. A couple of the health advantages include enhanced focus and restful sleep. Because it causes your body to release endorphins, also known as feel-good hormones, masturbation helps to relieve headaches and stress. In addition, regular masturbation guarantees men’s increased levels of health and youthful appearance.  

Masturbation provides certain advantages for women’s sexual health, such as less pain during sex. This is brought on by the way endorphins, which lessen pain perception, interact with brain receptors. Masturbation can also possibly lessen vaginal dryness. 

 

3.People in Relationships Don’t Engage

Masturbation is a healthy sexual practice you can do to satisfy your urges, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Many research studies have indicated that both men and women engage in the habit of masturbating and that this is not impacted by their relationship status.

Wrap Up

Speaking about masturbation might cause embarrassment, remorse, or shame in some people. No need to feel negative about masturbating—it’s normal and good.

Masturbation won’t result in blindness or negatively impact one’s bodily or emotional well-being when it is done in balance. Masturbation frequently has more positive health impacts than negative ones. The majority of the time, masturbation is only a concern when it starts to negatively impact one’s relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners.

In situations in which you feel that masturbation is impacting other areas of your life, we advise you to consult a medical expert, particularly a sex therapist, to learn better tools to release tension or have fun.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

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How to Save a Sexless Marriage?

 

If you’re thinking about how to save a sexless marriage, it probably means that there was no consensus between you and your spouse on having a marriage without sexual activities. This article doesn’t aim to talk about marriages in which both sides don’t need sex to feel fulfilled. Instead, it seeks to provide guidelines to partners who are looking to address the lack of sex and how it’s impacting their marriage. 

There are certain things you can consider if you’re in a sexless marriage. To understand how it comes to that, we’ll look closely into the reasons why sex vanishes from most couple’s priority lists and how to put it back there. 

 

Why Sex Matters

One thing that distinguishes a love relationship from a platonic friendship is physical intimacy. However, some couples neglect the physical aspect of their marriage; this is especially prevalent in the early years of a marriage, especially if children are involved.

The importance of sex varies from person to person. There are others who might believe that having a sexual relationship is essential. Some people might think that connections and intimacy of a different kind are more significant. 

In addition to the benefits for you and your spouse personally, having regular sex has several other positive effects on a harmonious relationship. For example, the oxytocin released during sexual activity promotes emotional connection and strengthens bonds.

In a monogamous relationship, having sex deepens your emotional bond and devotion to the other person. Sex as a means of expressing love makes couples more likely to stay together. Sex is positively linked to a decreased divorce rate.

Depending on the marriage, having no sex may or may not be a problem. However, there are ways to address the issue together and individually if a lack of sex and physical closeness is a problem in your marriage. The first step to saving your sexless marriage is to determine the underlying cause.

 

How Do We End Up in a Sexless Marriage?

There are many reasons why some partners stop having sex in their marriage. Despite the pain it may cause you and your partner, you must understand what caused it to find a solution. 

 

Health Concerns

A person’s libido and desire for physical closeness can be significantly impacted by their state of mind and body. Also, health issues and disabilities can interfere with the physiological arousal process. Consider consulting a healthcare professional if you or your partner experience sexual dysfunction that persists for longer than a few months or is causing stress in your marriage.

 

Incompatible Libidos

Sex drive naturally flows, and not everyone has the same degree of sexual desire. When a couple’s sexual desires are not aligned, they may find themselves waiting to have sex until one or the other is feeling particularly in the mood. This will significantly reduce the frequency of sexual experiences in your marriage.

 

Having children

Many medical professionals advise delaying intercourse for at least six weeks, and some women may choose to hold out longer because of their experience giving birth, pain, or overwhelming feelings.

Generally speaking, not having sex just after giving birth wouldn’t qualify as a true “sexless marriage.” However, if it continues, sometimes this is how a marriage becomes sexless after a mother has decided she wants to focus on the family and not pleasure anymore.

 

Stress 

Your desire to have sex can be severely impacted by excessive stress. When cortisol levels rise, sex hormones drop, which eventually lowers your desire for sex. Additionally, if you’re stressed about family, work, or health, sex may not be a priority. 

 

Lack of Communication

It can be challenging to keep physical closeness going when you and your partner are having communication issues. Ineffective communication regarding sex, in general, can affect the body physiologically in terms of lubrication, orgasm, and erectile function, as well as reduce an individual’s desire and arousal for sex. 

 

Saving a Sexless Marriage

In a low- or no-sex marriage, the first step is determining if intimacy is an issue. Whether you and your partner find a low-sex or no-sex marriage problematic is a personal choice.

There is no rule on how many times marriage people should have sex per week, month, or year. Whether you and your spouse are content in your marriage and whether you still feel close to each other are often more significant factors.

Since each marriage is different, try not to compare yours to others. Research has shown that going without sex is more common than you might imagine, even though you may come across marital sex statistics that will suggest a certain number to be able to call your marriage sexually active. 

 

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate 

Discuss the problem of little or no sex in your marriage with your spouse. Even if it could be challenging, this communication is essential. Problems with intimacy and sex can arise in partnerships that are otherwise strong. It’s not always an indication that your marriage is facing a serious problem.

Instead of accusing, ask your partner how they feel about the issues. Would they like to have more sex? What do they need in order for that to happen? Make sure you also talk about what matters to you. Define clearly what sex means to you, and why it’s important to improve that area of your marriage. Being intimate about it may help you want sex again. 

 

Build Intimacy

Consider scheduling more sex if you’ve both agreed. It may not be romantic, but it can be thrilling and unique if done right. You can anticipate something and show your commitment to each other and your physical connection by making plans.

In addition to having sex, it’s critical to look into other ways to develop intimacy, as this is frequently lacking in low- or no-sex partnerships. There is more to physical connection than just intercourse. Try to rekindle your romance and find that unique spark by doing the things you both love. 

 

Consider Therapy

Depending on the underlying problems, seeking help outside your marriage could also be wise. Try attending a workshop, seminar, or marriage retreat to improve your intimacy. 

To address any underlying medical concerns that might be affecting your sexual life, speak with a healthcare professional. Seek joint or individual assistance from a mental health expert to develop communication skills or acquire stress reduction methods.

Should you decide that therapy is the best course of action for you, you might want to contact a trained sex therapist or another counselor who specializes in marital sexual issues. Any problems that are preventing you from experiencing intimacy can be worked through with your therapist. Make the most of these chances to concentrate on strengthening and deepening your marriage.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Does Sex Get Better With Age?

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Does Sex Get Better With Age?

 

You’ve probably asked yourself more than once, ‘Does Sex Get Better With Age?’ and being curious about it is more common than you’d think. As much as we’re sexual beings, we’re also aware that humans change over the years. Our health condition is not the same at 50 as in our 20s. We have less energy as we age, and our sexual drive could be even lower with age. 

Still, all of this can be improved. You can improve your energy levels, become healthier, and feel better about yourself. So, the answer to that question will be unique for each person. However, if sex is the area in your life you wish to improve, we’re happy to share with you that sex can get better with age!

 

Factors that Impact Sex Drive

The first thing you need to understand is what impacts your desire to have sex and the quality of sex. How you feel about sex can change in a relationship or marriage. Most couples tend to have a lot of sex at the beginning of their relationship, and as time goes by, they start feeling tired or stressed about having sex with their partner. 

These are the most common factors that impact libido in most people:

  • Lower estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone
  • Prescription medications
  • Higher stress levels
  • Low self-esteem or body image issues
  • Drugs, smoking, or alcohol 
  • Diabetes 
  • High blood pressure  

Don’t forget that poor sexual desire may be a sign of mental or physical health problems. It may also lower your quality of life and lead to relationship issues.

 

Sexual Prime or the Golden Age for Sex

The term “sexual prime,” used to describe a young person, is not new. Sex is still fun as we age, contrary to popular belief. A lot of people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s+ are having fulfilling sexual relationships that enhance their general happiness and well-being.

There is a simple explanation for that! Our sense of power, assertiveness, confidence, and body image change as we age. These elements greatly improve our closeness, connection, and enjoyment of experiences.

Overall enjoyment and the quality of sex increase with age, even though the frequency of sexual activity may naturally decline. Therefore, the quality of the relationship you build with your partner is more important than the frequency of your intercourse or the number of orgasms you have. Another thing you’ll need to be aware of is that you and your spouse must accept that your bodies are changing with age and that there’s nothing wrong with it. 

 

How to Enjoy Sex More

If you’re determined to enjoy sex more, go for it! After all, you’ve probably had a certain amount of sexual experiences, which can help you choose your preferred sex style, positions, or anything else you’d like to try with your partner. Below, you can find suggestions that are worth exploring with your sexual partner to ensure you both enjoy sex more.

 

1.Take it Slow

Giving yourself and your partner some extra time for sex is crucial. Our sexual response cycle, or the interval between being aroused and engaging in sexual action, slows down as we get older. Women, in particular, could need extra time and attention to get to the point where their bodies are completely relaxed and aroused. A good piece of advice is to delay sexual activity until the morning or afternoon if you or your partner have medical issues with symptoms that intensify at night.

 

2. Use What You Have

The good news is that if you dislike sex toys, you can utilize nearly anything that is on your bed. For instance, using a pillow or a blanket can provide more comfort and create a new angle for the penetrating partner. You can use certain clothing items, such as ties, to tie your partner up or cover their eyes. If your partner loves sexy lingerie, why not surprise him one night? Or, you can even go shopping together and choose something that you both like. 

 

3. Seek New Ways to Connect

Intimacy and sex should be redefined, and partners need to be flexible with this and not make a big deal about the things that might not work immediately. Some things take more time than others. Approach this as an experiment for both of you! Try new things and adapt to them as you go. 

 

4. Have a Positive Mindset

Who said that the best era of your sexual life had ended? The best sex is yet to come! 

Don’t forget that, as we age, we occasionally start to feel a little more confident in ourselves. A healthier sexual life is also facilitated by people’s tendency to lose interest in some of those less significant things as they get older. That leaves enough room and energy to focus on the real connection between the two partners and enjoy your entire relationship, including sex!

 

Conclusion

Yes, sex can get better with age! There is no doubt about it. If there is something preventing you from enjoying sex at any age, the best thing you can do is talk to your partner and to your doctor if you’re suspecting health issues. On the other hand, besides eliminating the obstacles, do your best to connect with your partner. Talk more about the things you need in a relationship and in bed. Also, don’t take sex too seriously. Some things you try with your partner will not produce the satisfaction you were expecting, and that’s totally okay. 

Sex is about exploring your own sexuality and learning more about your partner’s. Forget about the age and make the most of the sexual experiences you have! Sometimes, you just need to relax and be curious about the intimacy you and your partner are building together, whether it’s through sex, hugging, or a conversation. Anything that brings you closer together will bring you more satisfaction in bed as well. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Edging a Female Orgasm & How To Become An Expert In It

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Edging a Female Orgasm & How To Become An Expert In It

 

Edging a female orgasm refers to the practice of preventing yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re about to experience the sexual climax. It is also known as surfing, peaking, and teasing. This term has become very popular lately as a way to describe reaching better orgasms, yet it was first mentioned over half a century ago as a treatment for premature ejaculation.

To edge an orgasm means to prevent sexual stimulation before having an orgasm, wait about 20-30 minutes, and stimulate yourself repeatedly until you’ve decided to orgasm. You can think of edging orgasms as turning your short morning jogs into marathons.

Holistically, edging an orgasm can help you become more aware of your sexual responses when you’re masturbating or having sex with your partner by introducing mindfulness into your sex game.

 

Before You Start Edging

The more you are aware of the ways your body responds in bed, the less anxiety you will have in your sexual life. You will be more certain of things you want and don’t want to try out alone or with your partner, and you will be absolutely sure when you are about to come. This knowledge will help you understand yourself better as a sexual being and also bring more curiosity into your sex life.

However, to truly master edging, you need to first learn the four stages of arousal, which can help you understand when to prevent yourself from orgasming and begin stimulation:

1. Excitement:

You will notice your skin is starting to flush, muscles get tense, heartbeat is getting faster, and blood going down to your penis or vagina and clitoris. For people with a penis, their scrotum will withdraw. For people with a vagina, their vagina will get wet.

2. Plateau:

All the symptoms you experienced in the first stage will get even more intense. You will feel like being closer to an orgasm, and to edge it, you will need to slow down stimulation.

3. Orgasm:

A range of nerve and muscle responses will start happening, and you will notice a feeling of ecstasy, more lubrication in your vagina, or ejaculation of semen from your penis. However, if you’re practicing edging, this is the stage you will continuously postpone until you’re ready to have an orgasm.

4. Resolution:

Once you have had an orgasm, your tissues go back to their non-aroused sizes and colors, while your vitals normalize as well. In this stage, the refractory period starts, where you will not be able to get aroused for a period of time. It might last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days.

Two people might feel emotions during each of these four stages. You might even not experience some of them, while others might appear in different stages. This is why it is important to pay attention to what responses occur in your body and when to be able to learn how to edge an orgasm successfully.

 

Ways to Edge an Orgasm

If you’re curious about edging, start paying attention to what you feel before your orgasm and try to remain in that stage between plateau and orgasm. Listen to your body and focus on the signs. You will probably not be able to do it right away, and that is completely fine. Most people are not paying attention to how they come or what their orgasms include, so the learning process takes some time.

There are several ways you can start experimenting with edging. If a certain method doesn’t work for you, just continue to the next one until you find the one that can help you easily edge into an orgasm and achieve more sexual pleasure.

 

Solo

  • Turn your environment into something that is ideal for you. Lock the doors, put on your favorite music, turn down the lights, or do anything else that will put you in the mood.
  • Prepare your body for the adventure. Close your eyes and start touching yourself in areas that feel good until your vagina gets wet or your penis gets hard.
  • Begin with masturbation. Stroke the penis, stimulate the clitoris, or do anything else that has previously helped you achieve orgasms.
  • Once you notice you’re close to having an orgasm, stop touching yourself and start breathing slowly and deeply. Open your eyes to become aware of your environment.
  • Think about what got you so excited and become more aware of stimulation, areas, or thoughts that bring you closer to an orgasm. Focus on how your body was changing as well – sweating, excitation, shaking, etc.
  • When you’re ready, start touching yourself or masturbating a bit faster. Repeat all the steps that proved successful before until you are ready to reach your orgasm.
  • When you feel you’re close, let yourself experience this incredible orgasm, which will probably be much longer or more intense than any other orgasms you have experienced in your life. Compare how your orgasm went with and without edging.

 

With Your Partner

  • Get aroused through foreplay or any other activities that you and your partner prefer doing before sex. It can be dirty talking, oral sex, licking or sucking nipples, stimulating the G-spot, etc.
  • Tell your partner and listen to them when giving cues or sharing ideas on what to do with each other.
  • Once you’re both close to an orgasm, reduce or stop the stimulation until you go back to a plateau.
  • Begin the stimulation again and repeat all the things you both liked until you are ready to orgasm.
  • After an orgasm, talk with your partner about how it felt to edge into an orgasm. Learning how your partner felt can help you improve this entire experience next time.

 

In Final Words

With each of these methods, you can adjust them to your needs while trying them alone or with your sex partner. The important thing here is to maintain your curiosity and focus on how your body reacts. Edging a female orgasm will feel even better if your partner is learning how to edge their orgasm as well. This will unlock a range of incredible opportunities that will show you new things about your sexuality, so don’t just ignore it. Edging a female orgasm can lead to more intense and satisfying sexual experiences, enhancing both solo and partnered sexual activities.

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

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Help! I Have No Sex Drive and My Husband Is Mad!

 

Have you ever thought, “I have no sex drive, and my husband is mad,” to yourself? You may have even attempted to look for advice on how to improve both your relationship and yourself online. Some wives even discuss this with their closest friends to figure out how to be more sexually active with their husbands.

If you care about this topic, keep reading as we explore all your options and their causes. Not being sexually interested in your partner in a monogamous sexual relationship must be addressed. There are times when we do not want to have frequent or any sex with our partners. However, if this phase is lasting too long and you do not know how to bring back that sex magic, it is time to examine what is going on in your relationship. 

 

What is Sex Drive?

Let us first define your sex drive before discussing why it is low and how to boost it. Our desire to have sex is called libido. A person with low sex drive has little or no desire for sex. This will be more noticeable in a long-term relationship than if you are single and not dating. 

A lack of sexual desire can damage your relationship and even cause a breakup if you’re with an allosexual partner. Understandably, if your partner and you have different sexual drives, it may affect your relationship. The only thing that matters here is being honest with yourself and your partner when finding the solution to this unpleasant problem. 

 

Reasons for Lower Sex Drive

Instead of blaming yourself for low sex drive, consider external factors. Some women notice their sex drive dropping greatly after menopause, while others remain aware of it throughout their lives due to cultural and religious beliefs.

Mental illness has been linked to decreased sexual drive and arousal. A lack of sexual drive and sexual dysfunction are common in depressed and anxious people. Check with a therapist to see if your low sex drive is linked to mental health. 

Mental health, menopause, and other factors can affect sex desire. Age, obesity, chronic conditions, medication, pregnancy, and relationship satisfaction can all affect sex drive. We are all different in our ways of being intimate or sexual towards another person, so make sure you are not comparing your situation to your friend’s. 

 

How to Improve Sex Drive

You shouldn’t expect to improve the sexual aspect of your marriage if you’re uncertain of the reason for it. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve the sexual connection you have with your husband. Most couples experiencing this issue will seek sex therapy, in which a therapist will assist with the sexual problems you two are having. 

Besides helping you solve the issues that are preventing you from enjoying marital sex, therapists can also improve intimacy between spouses, improve your orgasm experience, help you communicate your sexual wishes that you were afraid or ashamed to share, and so much more. 

You might not know this, yet sleep is crucial for sexual desire. If you’re sleeping only a few hours every night and trying not to collapse under all the responsibilities you have, your desire to be sexually intimate with your partner will most likely be very low. Women who improve the quality and duration of their sleep report a higher sexual drive the next day. 

Also, you can try aphrodisiacs, such as foods like raw oysters, strawberries, and chocolate, to improve your sexual desire. Yoga, mindfulness, and regular exercise can also enhance your libido and lead to more frequent sexual activities.

 

Different Sex Drive Levels in Relationships

There is no normal sex drive or norm that everyone should aspire to when it comes to being sexually attracted to or having sex with another human being. You might need to have sex once a week with your husband, while another person will need to have sex with their spouse several times a week. Both of these situations are perfectly fine, as long as they are not making you feel bad or affecting your relationship in any way.

Many couples will notice that one partner’s sex drive and needs are very different from their own. What is key to this is communication, like everything else in marriage. Both partners should be aware of their partner’s sex drive and find a way to ensure their needs are met. Talk to your partner and explain to them how you feel about sex. The sooner they understand that your lower sex drive has nothing to do with them, the healthier your sex life will be. 

Couples who differ in sexual expectations often realize that being open and honest in their communication about sex leads to stronger connections and a greater desire to have sex. Let’s not forget that one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs is not chocolate, sexy lingerie, or a gym body – it is the connection built through valuable conversations with your partner. 

Forget about improving your sex drive and setting goals in your mind. Work on connecting better with your partner, trying out new and exciting things, and learning something new about each other, and you will notice the sparkle coming back both in your relationship and your bed. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

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Comprehensive Sex Therapy: Unlocking a Fulfilling Life

 

In our fast-paced, modern lives, it’s not uncommon for sex and intimacy to be relegated to just another item on our never-ending “to-do” list and to ignore comprehensive sex therapy altogether. Many of the individuals we work with express feeling drained, exhausted, and underappreciated. 

They often find themselves living on autopilot, unable to savor the small, subtle beauties of life. When was the last time you could truly switch off your racing thoughts and immerse yourself in a pleasurable experience? If that moment seems like a distant memory, you’re not alone. Sex therapy offers a path to rediscovering that connection and vitality in your life.

 

Understanding Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a specialized modality that addresses a multitude of issues related to human sexuality. It’s a powerful tool for becoming more mindful, aware, and connected to your sexuality, and it can alleviate many of the symptoms associated with the pervasive issue of life burnout that so many individuals and couples experience.

 

Exploring the Diverse Realms of Comprehensive Sex Therapy

When delving into the realm of sex therapy, you’ll discover a rich tapestry of subcategories, each designed to address specific aspects of sexuality and intimacy. These include, but are not limited to:

 

1. Readjusting Sex Life after Transitions

Life transitions, such as becoming parents, going through menopause, experiencing injuries, and more, can significantly impact your sexual life. Sex therapy provides guidance on adapting to and finding joy in these new phases.

2. Pain during intercourse

Experiencing pain during sex can be emotionally and physically taxing. Sex therapy addresses the underlying causes and helps you find relief and enjoyment.

3. Low or no desire

Loss of sexual desire can be distressing, but it’s a challenge that sex therapy can help you overcome, rekindling the flame of passion in your relationship.

4. Identity and Orientation Issues

Exploring and embracing one’s sexual identity and orientation is a transformative journey, and sex therapy provides the support and understanding needed.

5. Desire Discrepancies

When partners have differing levels of desire, it can strain a relationship. Sex therapy offers strategies for bridging this gap and fostering intimacy.

6. History of Sexual Trauma

Healing from past traumas is a critical aspect of sex therapy. It offers a safe space to address and work through these deeply rooted issues.

7. Orgasm Issues

Difficulty achieving orgasm is a common concern. Sex therapy explores the psychological and physical factors contributing to this issue.

8. Fertility

Dealing with infertility can be emotionally challenging. Sex therapy provides support and strategies for coping with the impact on your relationship and self-esteem.

9. Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction can be a source of anxiety and frustration for many. Sex therapy helps individuals and couples navigate this challenge with empathy and guidance.

10. Sex Education

For those seeking a deeper understanding of their own bodies and sexuality, sex education is an essential component of sex therapy.

 

Breaking Free from Shame and Stigma

Shame frequently characterizes societal attitudes in the United States and some of the Americas toward sex, our bodies, and intimacy. This cultural backdrop can hinder open discussions about intimate issues. However, I firmly believe that removing the veil of shame and encouraging open dialogue is incredibly empowering.

Important Note: It’s essential to clarify that I am not a sex surrogate. All therapy sessions are talk-based and conducted with clothes on. My role as a therapist is to guide you on a journey of self-exploration, helping you tap into the many facets of your identity, including your sexuality, to empower you to become the best version of yourself.

Through talk therapy, goal-setting, and other proven methods, we can help you strengthen your relationship with your partner. Let’s embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and vibrant life. Come schedule a private session with Sarah Fitzgerald, LCSW or Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, AASECT CST.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

 

Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

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Sex Counselor & How They Can Help You Through Divorce

 

There are many reasons why people find divorce to be the most stressful situation of their lives, yet a sex counselor might be exactly what you need. After all, most people will talk about how to recover emotionally, and as much as this is crucial, sex and intimacy are important aspects of your life, and you should dedicate your attention to them as well. 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the importance of having a sex counselor support you through a divorce and why you should consider finding one. 

 

Why Sex Matters 

Sex is a big deal in marriages, so why assume it will not be a big deal in divorces? It is so much more than just a physical activity; it involves intimacy, connection, excitement, pleasure, and trust. For a couple to enjoy sex, they need to make sure that both partners’ needs are met, and that can often be challenging. It might be that sex is not the reason why you and your spouse have decided to part ways, yet it will have a significant impact on how you see yourself as a sexual being in your upcoming relationships.

For instance, if your partner was never interested in sex, you might feel awkward that your next partner is initiating it and not know how to respond to it. Or, you might feel uninspired to try out different things in bed because your spouse didn’t like them, so you’ll assume that your partner in the future will be the same way. All of these beliefs affect how we see ourselves and how we connect with others, both romantically and sexually. 

 

Numerous sex issues can occur in your marriage and follow you way past your divorce, such as:

  • You stopped having sex,
  • You or your spouse initiate arguing after sex,
  • You don’t match each other’s libido,
  • You see sex as a more or less important aspect of your marriage than your spouse,
  • You or your spouse find other people more sexually appealing than each other. 

 

After Divorce

Your first sexual encounter following a divorce may be remarkably similar to your very first encounter. Both men and women are concerned about having their first sexual encounter following a divorce. Males may have some erection problems due to the strain of a new relationship and their eagerness for sex. 

You can feel apprehensive since their body will differ from what you are used to. Will you know where everything is and how to turn it on? You could also experience climaxing troubles rather than erection problems. Once more, guilt over sleeping with a different person could prevent you from experiencing orgasm.  

When having sex for the first time after a divorce, women may be reluctant to expose their bodies out of concern that they are not perfect enough, especially if they are middle-aged. The first time you have sex after a divorce, you might not be able to climax because you might not be able to unwind and trust your partner enough to feel free with them. 

If your first sexual encounter doesn’t go as you expected, don’t be disappointed. It will take time to adjust to many aspects of your new life, including intimacy after divorce and a new sexual partner.

 

Reasons to Talk to a Sex Counselor

Sex therapists are licensed counselors, physicians, or other healthcare professionals who have received further training in assisting clients with sex-related issues.

Many people, at some point in their lives, struggle with sex. Some people can easily help themselves. Others may experience significant discomfort and sadness as a result of sexual issues. 

These are just a few of the sexual issues that a sex counselor can help you with:

  • Lack or absence of sexual desire,
  • Difficulties having an orgasm,
  • Feeling pain during sex,
  • Inability to practice penetrative sex,
  • Erectile dysfunction,
  • Premature ejaculation.

 

Your concerns will be discussed with a sex therapist, who will determine whether they are more likely to be psychological, physical, or a combination of the two.

 Each counseling session is private. You can go to a sex therapist alone, yet it could be best if you both go if your spouse is also affected by the issue.

You will have a more profound knowledge of what is happening and the causes by discussing and examining your experiences. The therapist could also assign you and your partner specific exercises and chores to complete independently.

 

Quick Tips to Help Yourself Enjoy Sex Again

The best way to solve any issue around sex and intimacy in your marriage or even during a divorce is to talk to a sex counselor. They will provide the best support and guide you on your path to falling in love with yourself as a sexual being – which we all are! That said, there are a few things you can try on your own that might help you improve how you feel about sex. Keep in mind that each situation is individual, so some of these tips might not work for you. 

The first piece of advice would be to solo touch. It might sound silly, yet how well do you truly know what feels good? Do you know which sensations and which parts of your body provoke a feeling of pleasure? Many people will forget about things that they are passionate about exploring with their partner. So, if that’s your situation, give yourself a few orgasms before you get back in the game.

Also, do not rush into sex.  Speeding up to get over it is unnecessary. You should enjoy it and do it when it feels right, whether it’s the first night you meet them or after a few months. One thing you should also be clear about with yourself is not to use sex to fill up the void. Sleeping alone after years of marriage might seem weird or even too scary, so you might get the idea of getting into bed with someone to fill up the void. Keep in mind that the best motivation to have sex with someone is when you’re truly attracted to them; otherwise, you will feel even more lonely after having sex with a person you don’t even like.

 

The Bottom Line

Sex after divorce may simultaneously be terrifying, thrilling, and fulfilling. To shape your sexual life after divorce, you must go carefully into the unexplored region. However, you don’t have to do it alone. Consider reaching out to a sex counselor and getting the support you need to solve any unresolved sexual issues, and look forward to sexual experiences coming your way!

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.