When to Unleash Your Inner Control Freak…And When to Keep It in Check
Society tells us that being a control freak is a bad thing. It’s almost exclusively used as a pejorative, a way to describe someone who’s overbearing and micromanages others. We should all agree that maintaining control is an important social behavior, but when does it cross the link into “control freak” mode?
Like most things in life, context is important when we talk about being a control freak. There are some things, like trying to control the actions and feelings of others that are usually unproductive. Attempts at controlling others often lead to conflict isn’t sustainable long-term.
Being in control, though, of your feelings, emotions, and behaviors, however, is something that we should all be serious about. Hell yes, we should manage our affairs to create the life we want, and if that means being a control freak, then so be it!
There are certain things all of us can control that will have an immediate positive impact on our lives and in relationships. Maybe it’s time we took a look at the word “control freak” and how we feel about it.
Control When More Than One Person is Involved
Control becomes more complicated when dealing with intimate relationships. What happens if what you want collides directly with what your partner wants?
Let’s say, for example, your partner wants to experiment with some light bondage play yet you don’t quite feel comfortable yet. What then?
First, let me say that our safety is something that we should always guard fiercely. Control your ability to stay safe whether it be from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.
There should be no accommodations when it comes to your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental well-being.
At times, though, letting control go of other things must be done for the benefit of the relationship.
Don’t confuse the right to consent with having sex because your partner is horny on a weeknight.
We all need to work on gaining perspective over what our long-term and most important priorities are and focus on controlling what we can around those.
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