Are You a Pornosexual?
Have you ever considered yourself a pornosexual?
Partnered sex is one form of intimacy and self-pleasure is another.
With the advent of the internet, many say that porn numbs out their desire to be intimate with their partner. The literature is split! Those who identify as pornosexuals feel that it is easier to get off alone and thus, they engage in this instead of desiring connection from a partner.
Some researchers state that if pornography with similar masturbation patterns are used long enough, it becomes the only reliable method for a person to get aroused and then achieve orgasm.
The age of losing your virginity is getting higher, and many young people who have access to pornography since a young age remain virgins.
Those who identify as “pornosexuals,” although they don’t always refer to themselves by this label, often have limited experience with intimacy, sexuality, and arousal outside of their computers and phones.
The longer they remain with their computer, the less likely they are to even have interest in sex with another.
If you are partnered with a pornosexual, you may understand what it is like for your partner to not understand your needs and desires. You may notice that your partner doesn’t respond emotionally or physically because they have trained themselves to orgasm in one specific way.
If you don’t know much about pornography, check out the statistics from Pornhub’s 2016 Year in Review, where the site received 729 hits a second, or 64 million a day.
A 2014 study in JAMA found 66% of men and 41% of women watch porn at least once a month. The perceived anonymity offered by free online porn has contributed to the rise of more people being a pornosexual.
Habitually using porn as the only source of sexual pleasure can desensitize the brain’s reward center. In a 2014 study, published in JAMA Psychiatry, German researchers found the level of changes in the brain correlated with the amount of porn a person watched. This means the more porn watched, the lower the activity in their brain’s reward centers (after seeing sexual videos on screen).
The brain begins to require more dopamine each subsequent time it watches porn in order to feel its effects. Sometimes, the brain halts the production of dopamine and leaves the viewer wanting more without the ability to reach it.
This can lead the person to watch more porn to replicate the same “high” they had the first time.
Pornosexuals experience all of their sexual pleasure in isolation instead of shared. We advice that porn is not your only sexual outlet.
Instead, you can channel your focus on fantasizing while self-pleasure while using your imagination.
Porn can be helpful in exploring sexual desires, but unhealthy use can have a negative consequence on the brain. The problem isn’t porn, it’s the way you choose to use it. Unfortunately, porn users and those who identify as pornosexuals report purposely avoiding talking to their partner, and fear the rejection of being denied.
Without wanting to experience rejection or fear, pornosexuals avoid uncomfortable situations so they do not have the opportunity to intimately connect with others. This perpetuates a cycle which makes them more self-conscious, anxious, fearful, and rejected
If they are with a partner, pornosexuals identify that they would rather use online porn than work through it with their partner. At Life Coaching and Therapy, we have a great success rate of individuals who overcome this problem. Yet it is contingent on the patient’s willingness to succeed.
I have been fortunate that everyone that has come through my door wanted something other than continuing being a pornosexual! If one partner came in and wanted their spouse to “stop being a pornosexual,” we would have a lower success rate.
In our therapy, we focus on the one who identifies as a pornosexual and the one dating a pornosexual. We will go over the difference in desire levels between both partners, and we will talk about fulfilling both partners needs and address the negative emotions for both partners. So, if you want to stay together, you have to find new ways to learn about each other.
You can get more free content on relationship and sex tips by checking out my Youtube Channel – The Sex Healer.
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Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!
Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help Millennials and Baby Boomers alike who visit us for a variety of relationship, intimacy and sex problems.
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