Does Size Matter?
Is it long enough? Thick enough? Hard enough? Does size matter?
“Why is the size of a penis one of the biggest sexual concerns?” she asks.
“Toxic Masculinity,” she whispers.
We live in a culture that correlates penis size to how masculine a man is and / or his sexual identity.
“AHHH! Patriarchy!” she screams.
So… wait… DOES SIZE MATTER?
Whether you call it a penis, phallus, lingam, dick, cock, or any other name, we unfortunately live in a reality where everyone seems to be obsessed with penis size!
We see it in advertising, movies, and in dozens of studies that are conducted annually to determine if it is important, both to men and women.
Before debunking the stigma, here are some common phallus questions and answers.
When does it stop growing?
The largest growth spurts occur during male adolescence, and continue until around 20 years old. From this point on, it is common for penis size to remain similar for the rest of a man’s life.
Although the growth of the penis occurs in this period, the rate may vary from one teen to another, and may be faster in some cases than in others.
Why is a penis crooked?
Penises can grow slightly from one side or the other, because the urethra does not always accompany the development of the rest of the organ, causing a slight curve.
However, if the curvature produces pain and impedes penetration during intimate contact, it is caused by Peyronie’s disease.
Is it possible to increase the size of a penis?
The size of the penis varies greatly from one man to another, and from one country to another.
In this way, it is difficult to determine an interval to assess whether the size of the penis can be considered normal.
However, for men who want to increase penis size, there are forms of “treatment” from pumps to creams to losing weight to not smoking.
What is a normal or average penis size?
In the Journal of Urology study, researchers found the following among the group of 80 men:
- An average penis size length of 8.8 cm (3.5 inches) when flaccid (soft)
- An average penis size length of 12.9 cm (5.1 inches) when erect (hard)
- The size of a man’s erect penis was not correlated with the size of his flaccid penis. This means that men whose penises are different lengths when flaccid may have similarly sized erect penises. There was also no relationship between mens’ age and their penis size.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2014 said that out of self-reported summaries:
- An average erect penile length of 14.15 cm (5.57 inches)
- An average erect penile circumference of 12.23 cm (4.8 inches). This means the girth, width, or “fullness” around the base of the penis.
How important is size?
The size of the penis is not as important as everyone thinks when it comes to sexually satisfying one’s partner.
Penis size isn’t that critical to sexual pleasure. If you are going to penetrate another person, dildos are much more reliable and you can select the size you want.
The MOMENT you put pressure on the penis to get hard, it’s ALL OVER! You may as well just book an appointment now, because you will get stuck in the anxiety loop.
Regardless of size, what is important to one’s partner is that the penis can stay hard for as long as it needs to. This is why I suggest the use of dildos.
Take the pressure off!
If you are performing for a female partner, just know that only 18% of women orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Therefore, make sure you have lubricant and a vibrator.
Women sometimes take up to 20 minutes to get warmed up so don’t rush them! Your penis being hard isn’t the concern. It is your patience in her getting to experience HER pleasure.
So my answer to the question “Does size matter?” is “eh – not really.”
Size seems to matter most when the penis is too big or too wide. Depending on the time of month, the cervix is located in different places.
This matters with vaginal penetration, because too much length can cause pain while hitting the cervix. There is actually a sexual health device that goes on the base of the penis so that it cannot go in as deep to help fix this problem!
Another issue is when the penis is too wide, there may be an hour of foreplay needed so that other orifices are warmed up and relaxed.
If you were to ask me in my experience “within the therapy room,” when asking clients (women or those who enjoy penetrative sex with penises) to choose between what matters more, 9 out of 10 will choose girth (width / circumference) over length.
Out of all the clients I have seen over the last ten years, only about 5 out of 100 people state that they care about size at all. Usually 3 of those 5 will be identified as bisexual or gay men.
Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a relationship coaching and sex therapy practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systemically-trained and licensed therapists!