Communication exercizes for couples using Inner Aspects Method
When you think of Communication exercizes for couples, you often think of what your partner could do to be better.
Sometimes, we can sit with our couples therapist and ask for exercises, yet we think that our partner is in the wrong.
A part of you may be young and scared to show that you too have messed up, and feel something like “Am I safe to say this?”
Or you could have a part of you that is a rebellious teen saying, “you know, my partner made me go to this therapy session, but I really don’t want to be here.”
Think about all these various parts of you and bring up a picture that represents what your inner aspects look like.
What’s actually going on inside your mind?
Who is in bed in your head?
The Inner Aspects Method (IAM) created by Francesca Gentille is a way to bridge between the personal, the clinical, and the deeper subconscious parts of self.
The method behind the IAM model is life-changing, personally and professionally, as you start to incorporate its principals.
For those looking to bring this into their love life, and for clinicians looking to experience this with your clients, you are able to dive deeper into communication exercizes for couples and yourself!
In the inner aspect method (IAM), participants discover that life follows intentions.
While having the intention of integrating this into your life, it became clear that it is important to continue growing to the next level. In communication, and in collaboration. The reason we need to practice is because we were mostly trained in communication that was demanding, commanding, criticizing, complaining or coercive.
This Dominator form of communication is normal yet does not value consent, sovereignty, and / or collaboration. If we want a world of empowered consent within couples relationships, we must train ourselves to utilize language in a new way.
This will take practice.
As we practice, we get the results we desire.
In the OLD Dominator Model we communicated to be heard, get our way, get what we wanted. Who cares if the other person is hurt by that, or didn’t consent?
In the NEW Model of communication we communicate to achieve collaboration, connection and to look for the win/win.
It isn’t healthy communication if only one partner is heard, happy, and/ or satisfied.
Use phrases like:
- I’m noticing…
- A part of me….
Energetically, choose to:
- To be Centered & Open.
- What Inner Aspects have the “microphone” and are speaking for you?
In Nonviolent Communication, we take the war out of words.
Do not use:
- You did this!
- She said this.
- You did too!
- He yelled at me.
- They did it first.
- You violated, betrayed, used me.
- BLAMING: You made ME do or say it.
- GUILTING: If you hadn’t done/said X, I never would have done Y.
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