Virginity Is a Social Construct: It’s Time to Break Free

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Virginity Is a Social Construct: It’s Time to Break Free

 

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about whether or not virginity is a social construct. For centuries, the idea of being a virgin until marriage has been sold to young girls and women all around the world as something crucial for their love life, happiness, and personal value. Why was—and still is—virginity only an expectation for women? After all, if straight men were not expected to be virgins until marriage, who were all of them having sex with? Who gave men so much power to destroy a woman’s reputation just because they had sex together? A man was just a man, and a woman wasn’t a virgin anymore. 

It’s not so much who gave men so much power; the real question is why. Why were women who had sexual relations before marriage unwanted or shamed by their families? Why does the inequality between men and women still exist when talking about virginity? If it’s so important, why are there groups of people praying and promoting only female virginity and not virginity in general? 

In this article, we want to research how true it is that virginity is a social construct. 

 

Virginity Is a … Social Construct? 

Before responding to this question, let’s define social construct. It is an idea that society creates to make sense of everything around us. Social constructs are not bad. On the contrary, they help us understand the world we live in. For instance, we all agree that a certain piece of paper represents money. We accept its different values and use it to buy certain things. That is a social construct. 

However, not all social constructs help us function on an everyday basis. Some are used to manipulate marginalized groups, and up until recently, women were marginalized all across the world. Although that is not the case anymore, there is still a lot of inequality between men and women when it comes to certain matters. One such example is virginity. 

When someone says the word ‘virgin,’ do you imagine a man or a woman? Most likely, you’ve imagined a woman. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. For hundreds of years, society has been teaching us that a woman should be ‘untouched’ until she meets the right man who decides to marry her. There is no equivalent for men. Yes, they were expected to provide for this perfect woman and the family they built together, yet a man who wasn’t from a wealthy family wasn’t considered as a ‘damaged good.’ 

Putting aside social and religious beliefs, what does one lose by having a sexual experience? How can having an experience decrease your value? One of the definitions of experience is that it is an ‘event which leaves an impression on you.’ 

Instead of expecting someone to be a virgin, it would make more sense to talk about the experience itself. What do you need for it to be a quality experience? What should you learn from such an experience? Why do we seek that type of experience in the first place?

These questions initiate personal growth; asking whether or not someone is a virgin initiates discrimination, comparison, and judgment. 

 

Virginity Limits Other Experiences 

The concept of virginity pushes women away from sex, and it distances them from other experiences, such as masturbation, conversations, and thoughts about sex. Understanding what you like and don’t like is crucial for successful sex. Even if you wait until you’re married, if you aren’t allowing yourself to be curious about sex, chances are you will not be able to enjoy it because you don’t know what you prefer. 

Not masturbating, thinking, or talking about sex have one strong belief in common, which is ‘Sex is dirty.’ You can’t expect this belief to magically disappear once you are married. That is why many people who wait until marriage to have sex say that they are not impressed by it. Others will feel it is a marital responsibility, so they will not experience any pleasure or orgasm. 

In a way, virginity continues to impact your sexual experiences even when you lose it to the person you’ve waited for your entire life. After all, it’s not about being proficient at having sex; it’s about feeling proficient when having it. People with penises and vaginas have the right to enjoy their sexual experiences and be curious about sex and sexuality in general. 

 

Before and After 

Your first sex definitely separates before and after. Every important experience does that. Your first kiss, your first relationship, your first friend, your first day at school, and so on. Interestingly enough, other things don’t have a word for the period before a certain experience. What do you call a person before they gain their first friend? There’s no word for it. 

There is so much negative context around the word ‘virginity’ that, at this point, it is way more damaging than informational. Just think about it: what can you do with the information of someone being a virgin? It has zero value to others. If you haven’t had sexual experience, that information says nothing relevant about you in the public sphere. Also, if you had sex, it says the same—nothing. 

For inexperienced people who want to take things slow, share it with a loved one. You can share it with your close friend if you feel that your past sexual experience wasn’t so great and you want to be more relaxed when having sex again. The only value of such information is if it benefits you. 

 

Time for a New Social Construct

In the same way that the social construct of virginity has been created, we can create a new one that is not harmful to people, especially young women. Why not advance virginity as society does every day to match its beliefs and habits?

Every sexual experience is valid. Shaming someone doesn’t bring positive outcomes for anyone. If you want others to respect your intimacy, respect theirs. Lastly, don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison always leads to dividing the world into ‘good’ and ‘bad, ‘black’ and ‘white.’ Instead, be open-minded, curious, compassionate, and lead by example. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Boring Sex: Is There a Way to Bring It Back to Life? 

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Boring Sex: Is There a Way to Bring It Back to Life? 

 

One of the thrilling aspects of sexuality is having sex, so when you’re faced with a boring sex life, what can you do about it? Sex with a new partner can be exhilarating because of the excitement or new energy it brings to the relationship. What happens if the first spark disappears and intimacy is reduced to repeatedly sharing the same space and doing the same activities? 

Luckily, there are lots of strategies to get your sexual life back on track and rekindle the passion. After all, sex is a crucial factor in relationships. It brings the partners closer and reminds them why they fell in love. To help you feel more intimate with your partner, continue reading this article and find the right way to have a fulfilled sexual life. 

 

Definition of Boring Sex

Yes, it might be challenging to define boring sex; however, we’ll try to describe it the best we can to be able to offer some solutions along the way as well. Boring sex might imply multiple things. Sometimes it means you’re bored with your relationship or sex. 

Occasionally, it may be a sign of more severe concerns with sexual compatibility or deeper problems in your relationship. According to research, there has long been a perception in popular psychology that sexlessness is a sign of relationship issues that extend over time. 

Although everyone has a different idea of what boring sex is, for many, it refers to having uninteresting, unexciting, and disappointing sex. When someone doesn’t have enough physical stimulation or frequent orgasms, they will probably find sex to be dull.

The second concern is what to do about boring sex once you’ve defined it as such. At the beginning of the relationship, we can’t get enough of our partner. We enjoy sex, and everything about it is thrilling. With time, this excitement might start disappearing, and it can seem challenging to recover that spark. 

 

Common Reasons for Boring Sex

Longer-term partnerships usually result in a fall in passion and sexual satisfaction, yet this decline is possible to avoid. Some valid reasons may make you feel sexually incompatible or like there’s no chemistry in the bedroom. The most frequent causes of this decline are time constraints, health issues, or responsibilities to one’s family.

 

Lack of New Things

Anyone can experience boredom in sex, particularly in a committed or long-term relationship. What worked at the beginning doesn’t work anymore. Perhaps you yearn to relive the vitality of a newly formed relationship or the intense love of ancient times. Try something new. 

Before making changes, discuss them with your partner. Sharing your feelings with your partner may improve things. If you’re uncertain about what new thing to implement, try role-playing, introducing new partners, changing positions, using sexual toys, or having sex in locations or methods that may be unfamiliar to you. If these pique your interest, discuss them with your spouse!

 

Stress

We know that stress and life changes can affect our physical and mental health. You probably already know that stress can affect your sexual life. It may decrease your desire for sex or make orgasms harder. Since stress is frequently inevitable, how can we reduce its impact on our level of arousal, our favored sexual activities, and even how we communicate during sex?

Studies demonstrate the impact of stress and life changes on marital satisfaction. It could entail less time spent together, less successful communication, a higher chance of physical and mental health issues, and a general disengagement from the partnership. This could cause people to revert to familiar or routine sexual behaviors that bore one or both partners.

 

Mental Health 

Anxiety, sadness, or ADHD are examples of mental health issues that might alter a person’s sexual experience. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help couples who are having trouble getting pregnant because of anxiety or sadness.

It is commonly recognized that symptoms impacting sexual life, like decreased desire, arousal, or sexual satisfaction, are associated with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, or even psychosis. These symptoms must unavoidably be appropriately recognized and treated. 

 

How to Improve Your Sex Life

Before implementing any suggestions, make sure you talk to your partner. Even in ideal situations, many couples find it challenging to have a sexual conversation. Feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, and contempt can completely stop a discourse when sexual problems arise. 

Starting a conversation is the first step to a healthier sexual life, as well as a stronger emotional connection, because effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Here are some pointers for dealing with this delicate matter.

 

Schedule Sex

Your hectic schedule can get in the way of having sex, no matter how badly you might want to. Put sexual time in your calendar accordingly; just like you would on other significant occasions, add sexual time to your calendar. You won’t be as inclined to skip it then. 

When you set a date, you have time to prepare and something to look forward to. Schedule sex as often as is practical, whether it’s once a week or every other day. Select moments when you are sure not to be tired or preoccupied.

 

Physical Exercise 

Exercise boosts your mood and increases your stamina in bed. In addition to improving self-esteem and making you feel sexier, exercise tones your physique. The amount of exercise required to enhance your sexual life is unclear. Start with over 2 hours of aerobic exercise or two sets of strength training each week. It can boost your self-esteem and body image, tell your partner.

 

Don’t Rush Into It 

Sex shouldn’t be rushed, no matter how busy you are. Spend enough time in the foreplay. The extra time you spend caressing and kissing each other helps excite your senses and enhances the pleasure of sex. When you slow down, you can spend more time with your partner. 

 

Don’t Forget About the Little Things

Not every romantic meeting needs to result in sexual activity. There are many additional ways you and your companion can have fun. Give each other a passionate massage or bathe together. On the couch, have a passionate make-out session. Masturbate each other until you both experience an orgasm. Teach each other your preferred method of communication.  

Hug each other, share your favorite jokes or childhood memories, or do whatever will make you closer. These things will ultimately improve the quality of your intimacy, including your sex life. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Sex Therapist Answers What Causes Peyronies Disease

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Sex Therapist Answers What Causes Peyronies Disease

 

What causes peyronies disease? This condition is often overlooked, yet it significantly impacts men’s health. We are focusing on the male body and men’s health again as we explore this important topic.

Peyronie’s disease is characterized by the development of fibrous scar tissue inside the penis, which can lead to curved, painful erections. This condition can arise due to injury or trauma to the penis, often occurring during sexual activity or physical activities. It can also develop without any obvious cause, leading to confusion and concern for those affected.

Do you notice changes in your male anatomy? Are you experiencing discomfort or noticing unusual curvature during erections? These could be signs of Peyronie’s disease, and it’s essential to address them. Many men may feel embarrassed to discuss their symptoms, but it’s crucial to seek help from a qualified professional. Early intervention can lead to better outcomes and a return to sexual health.

Understanding the causes and symptoms of Peyronie’s disease is vital for maintaining overall male health. If you or someone you know is experiencing these issues, don’t hesitate to reach out for support and guidance. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are effective treatment options available.

@lifecoachingandtherapy

What Causes Peyronies Disease? We are looking at the male body and mens health again. Do you notice changes in your male anatomy? Peyronies disease may be the reason why. #malebody #menshealth #maleanatomy #peyroniesdisease #peyronies

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Therapy for Depression: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment

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Therapy for Depression: Causes, Symptoms & Treatment

 

Therapy for depression aims to help those who have been diagnosed or believe they have depression. When it comes to the recommended type of therapy, your specific type of depression will be the determining factor. 

Depression is a prevalent mental health illness that alters your thoughts, sleep patterns, eating habits, and behavior. The important thing to remember is that depression can be treated, usually with medication, talk therapy, or both. It is critical to get medical attention as soon as you notice symptoms. That’s why we’ll also mention the causes and symptoms of depression in this article. 

 

What Is Depression?

A depressive state differs from normal mood swings or exchanges of feelings we experience in our daily lives. It can impact all areas of our lives, including social and romantic relationships. Depression may originate from or contribute to issues at work and in the classroom. Although anyone can experience depression, it is more likely to affect those who have experienced abuse, significant losses, or other stressful situations. 

During a depressive episode, a person will feel a depressed mood (feeling sad, angry, and empty), and they often report a lack of interest in their favorite hobbies and activities.

 

Depression Symptoms

Different depression symptoms exist, yet these are the most common: 

  • Lack of focus
  • Excessive guilt 
  • Low self-worth
  • Having a pessimistic outlook on the future
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Disturbed sleep
  • Changes in eating or weight
  • Extreme exhaustion 
  • Lack of energy

 

Causes of Depression

Depression results from a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. It is more common in people who have experienced adverse life experiences, such as unemployment, bereavement, or traumatic events. Depression can exacerbate a person’s living circumstances as well as the depression itself, resulting in increased stress and dysfunction.

Physical health is intimately tied to and impacts depression. Numerous characteristics that have been linked to depression, including unhealthy alcohol consumption or physical inactivity, recognized risk factors for conditions like diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and respiratory disorders. As a result of the challenges involved in managing their illness, individuals with certain conditions may also experience depression.

When it comes to the most common causes of depression, this is the overview:

  • Stressful or traumatic events
  • Personality
  • Family history
  • Menopause
  • Loneliness
  • Substance or alcohol abuse
  • Illness
  • Pregnancy or giving birth
  • Other mental health problems

 

Therapy Types for Depression

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to depression therapy; instead, the best kind of treatment depends on a number of criteria. Your treatment choice may depend on your preferences and symptom severity. To help you choose the depression therapy that might be best for you, think about some of the following popular forms:

 

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy 

Cognitive behavioral therapy employs both behavioral and cognitive therapy because both are effective in treating anxiety and depression. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) aims to address the negative cognitive patterns and behaviors that underlie depression.

In your journal, your therapist may ask you to record the week’s events and any negative or self-defeating responses. During CBT, you may address patterns of thought, such as automatic negative reactions or habitual negative responses to events. Two prominent cognitive distortions that are associated with certain reaction patterns are overgeneralization and all-or-nothing thinking. 

 

Cognitive Therapy

The notion that our ideas impact our emotions lies at the core of cognitive therapy. For instance, we are more likely to feel content if we choose to see the positive aspects of every encounter rather than concentrating solely on the bad.

Depression can be aggravated and contributed to by negative thinking. It’s difficult to feel joyful when your mind is always racing with negative ideas. Through cognitive therapy, patients can learn to recognize frequent negative thought patterns or cognitive distortions and replace them with more upbeat ones to elevate their mood.

 

Behavioral Therapy

Behavioral treatment is concentrated on altering habits that impact emotions, whereas cognitive therapy focuses on the unfavorable beliefs that lead to melancholy. And behavioral activation is critical in treating depression. This includes assisting patients with activities that will improve their sense of well-being.

 

Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic therapy is sometimes less concentrated and requires a longer duration of care than certain other depression treatment modalities. This method helps you connect past events and determine how they affected your depression. It can also improve emotional skills and self-awareness.

 

Interpersonal Therapy 

Depression can also result from interpersonal conflict and a lack of social support. One kind of therapy that addresses these problems by focusing on interpersonal interactions and past and present social roles is called interpersonal therapy. The therapist usually selects one or two areas of concern to concentrate on throughout treatment.

This kind of treatment is typically quick and entails assessing your social ties with significant others. Your relationships with your spouse, friends, family, and coworkers might all fall under this category.

 

The Value of Therapy for Depression

The initial line of treatment for depression is psychological. With moderate to severe depression, you might be advised to take certain antidepressant drugs.

Cognitive behavioral therapies can impart new ways of thinking, adjusting, or interacting with people. They could consist of both supervised therapists and professional talk therapy. Talk therapy can take place online or in person, depending on what suits you best. To schedule a session, you can either use an app, visit a website, send an email, or simply call the number of the therapist’s office.

Regardless of the kind of therapy you choose, psychotherapy ought to be a secure and encouraging environment. You should always feel comfortable talking to a therapist about your depression-related feelings and struggles.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Therapy for Men: A Guide to Finding the Answers

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Therapy for Men: A Guide to Finding the Answers

 

We’re so glad to hear that men’s mental health is no longer taboo, and that goes for therapy for men as well. It’s about time that all people get the support they need to live more fulfilled lives. However, it’s a fact that men are still less likely than women to seek therapy. 

As society is becoming more open-minded about this topic, we’d taken a moment to look into the options of therapy for men, reasons why they usually seek help, and what to expect from your first session with a therapist. 

 

Reasons to Seek Therapy for Men

Men and those who identify as men face mental health issues just like everyone else. This could involve problems and illnesses like bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety, sadness, anger issues, eating disorders, problems with body image, and more. It might also just be as simple as having someone to talk to in order to get past uncomfortable emotions and ideas and enhance your general perspective on life. 

In addition to being able to support you through these mental health issues, therapists who specialize in treating men will be trained to approach counseling with an awareness of the outside influences on men’s lives.

Because of societal perceptions of masculinity, men have encountered a variety of particular obstacles while seeking therapeutic services. Although there are other factors influencing men’s mental health besides gender, men may face particular challenges due to limited notions of what it means to be a man, such as achievement, control, and power. These may negatively affect behavior, feelings of self-worth, emotions, and interpersonal relationships.

 

Benefits of Therapy

It’s not necessary to put on a front or appear to be someone you’re not when in therapy. You may be who you truly are there, express your emotions, and voice your worries without worrying about being judged. Since the therapeutic connection is based on acceptance and trust, you are free to freely explore your feelings and ideas. Besides being yourself, there are other benefits men should be aware of. 

 

Get to Know Yourself Better

Men are generally expected by society to be emotionally repressed, although therapy promotes appropriate emotional expression. Feelings connected to stress, worry, sadness, rage, or anything else can all be explored. You can better understand yourself and your responses by giving expression to your feelings.

 

Improve Your Communication Skills

Enhancing communication skills through therapy can help you in both personal and professional interactions. You’ll get improved communication skills for expressing your ideas and emotions, attentive listening skills, and constructive problem-solving techniques. Better relationships are the result of having stronger communication abilities.

 

Learn Different Coping Strategies

There are many obstacles in life, and therapy gives you useful coping mechanisms. Therapy offers strategies to handle and get past challenges, whether they are personal, relationship, or work-related stressors. Enhancing your coping skills can help you become more mentally resilient.

 

Become Healthier

Therapists focusing on men’s mental health are aware of the particular difficulties that guys encounter. They understand that men may be affected differently by problems such as controlling their aggression, substance misuse, and relationship troubles. Therapy offers a customized strategy to deal with these issues.

 

Effective Therapy Approaches for Men

Treatment is not a one-size-fits-all process. Everybody who seeks counseling will bring a unique context with them. Those belonging to the same demographic will possess distinctive qualities of their own. A skilled therapist will be able to establish a setting that accepts you for who you are. It is quite common for people to be uncertain about what to expect when they enter therapy. 

An intern, LMFTA, or licensed therapist can help you process emotions in a way that is comfortable for you. Therapy can be an open forum for discussion, or it can be highly action-oriented, with goals and steps to achieve them. 

Men are demonstrated to respond better to defined plans, action-oriented therapy, and the ability to track their progress toward goals, as opposed to talk therapy’s tendency toward more feelings-focused and abstract discussions. For many, it is inspiring to see how therapy works from the beginning, to know that skills can be acquired and that there will be greater control. 

Experts in mental health have also discovered that modifying terminology during therapy, such as outlining the procedure in detail and adopting a coaching stance, are useful strategies. Make sure you feel like you have a strong therapeutic fit before choosing a therapist. It’s entirely up to you if you find it easier to talk to another man or value the viewpoint of a therapist from a different group. This could involve locating someone who identifies as your gender identity or sexual orientation. 

 

When’s It Time to Seek Therapy? 

When it comes to depression, anxiety, and similar mental health issues, men frequently exhibit different symptoms than women. Men who experience these symptoms, their loved ones, and even some medical professionals and therapists may overlook these indicators. These symptoms are equally real, and it’s critical to recognize them in order to make an informed decision about when to see a therapist.

Indications that you should consider therapy include:

  • Feeling more easily agitated than usual
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Aggressive outbursts of aggression
  • Feeling down or overwhelmed 
  • Drinking, gambling, or using drugs
  • Losing interest in your favorite activities
  • Frequent headaches
  • Difficulty to focus 
  • Feeling tired even after a good night’s sleep 

 

Remind yourself that these symptoms are nothing to be ashamed of and that you are not alone. Although it’s common to think that discussing your issues with others won’t help, this is untrue.

One of the best things you can do to start feeling better is to go to a therapist. Meaning that they can support you in overcoming your emotions and finding solutions that suit your needs. 

Regardless of your goal, whether you want to become more assertive in your workplace or improve how you are in your relationship, therapy can guide you toward it. Learning the tools you need to live the life you want is what any good therapist can give you. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Why Does It Curve To The Left?

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Why Does It Curve To The Left?

 

This week, we’re taking a closer look at the male body and male anatomy. Addressing some common questions that many men may hesitate to ask. One such question is: Why does it curve to the left?

Much of men’s health involves understanding what is considered normal. And this extends to the shape and structure of the penis. It’s not uncommon for men to notice a slight curve, either to the left, right, or even upwards or downwards. In fact, slight curvature is often completely normal and can be a natural variation in anatomy. The cause may lie in the way tissue develops or how scar tissue forms over time.

Understanding your body is key to overall health and wellbeing, and no question should be off-limits when it comes to seeking answers.

@lifecoachingandtherapy

Why Does It Curve To The Left? We are looking at the male body and male anatomy this week. Much of mens health can involve questions about what is normal. #malebody #maleanatomy #menshealth

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Complex Trauma: Definition, Examples, and Treatment

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Complex Trauma: Definition, Examples, and Treatment

 

The deep effects of complex trauma are seen in the neurological system. That is why understanding how complex trauma grows is essential, as it allows us to treat it more effectively. 

Many of us have experienced some type of unpleasant experience that comes with being human, whether it be a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Although these experiences are now in your past, that doesn’t mean their consequences are not part of your present. 

This is why it’s important to learn more about complex trauma and how it impacts the quality of our lives. Learn how to heal from your trauma and inspire other people to take the healing path as well. 

 

What Is Complex Trauma? 

Complex trauma refers to the wide-ranging, long-term impacts of children being exposed to several traumatic incidents, many of which are of an invasive, interpersonal type. These are serious, widespread events, like extreme abuse or profound neglect. They typically start early in childhood and can interfere with a child’s growth in a variety of areas, including the creation of a sense of identity. 

These experiences generally involve a caregiver, which makes it difficult for the child to develop a stable relationship. This main supply of security and stability is essential for many elements of a child’s healthy physical and mental development.

A specific traumatic experience can lead to the development of trauma over the following years. It happens when the body and brain are overloaded to the point where they find it challenging to transition from a state of “fight, flight, or freeze” to one of relaxation. A single incidence can be referred to as trauma, while a sequence of stressful events occurring over several months or years is referred to as complex trauma.

 

Symptoms of Complex Trauma

When talking about the common symptoms and signs of complex trauma, be aware that they are very similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you or someone you love is uncertain whether or not they have experienced a complex trauma, these are the symptoms you should be looking for: 

  • Flashbacks of the painful incident or series of incidents
  • Lapses in memory
  • Difficulty regulating emotions
  • Aversion and disengagement from the people, things, and surroundings that are connected to the trauma
  • Excessive awareness of potential threats (hypervigilance)
  • Regular unpleasant feelings and thoughts
  • Extreme difficulty establishing and keeping deep connections.
  • Persistent feelings of guilt, failure, and shame

 

Causes of Complex Trauma

The brain’s limbic system is activated when you experience traumatic events. To prepare the body for fight, flight, or freeze, this “fire alarm” shuts down all unnecessary functions, including rest, digestion, and sleep, and fills it with stress chemicals like cortisol. Our parasympathetic nervous system provides inner calm once the threat has passed.

At this time, your cognitive function returns to normal. This allows you to resume your day with just minor side effects—you might feel a little jittery or a little on edge for a while. Yet, this balance doesn’t strictly come back fully for those who deal with complicated trauma.

The limbic system remains active most of the time. It’s a coping strategy used to try to keep oneself safe when facing constant hardship. It’s the feeling of always being on edge or in survival mode. It eventually becomes the body’s and brain’s “new normal.”

When it comes to events and situations that lead to complex trauma, these are some examples:

  • Sexual or physical abuse in childhood
  • Prolonged domestic violence
  • Chronic neglect or abandonment
  • Medical abuse or medical trauma
  • Human trafficking
  • Torture
  • Genocide
  • Slavery

 

How to Heal from Complex Trauma

Everybody’s pain and traumas are distinct from one another, so treatment options might differ from one person to another. The good news is that trauma treatment approaches are developing along with our understanding of complex trauma. Providing a corrective emotional experience for healing is the aim of each treatment method.

These are a few efficient, complicated trauma therapies, and a mental health expert will know which approach could work best for you. 

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

You examine how your ideas, feelings, and behaviors relate to one another in this type of therapy. You might be able to modify your behavior if you realize how they are related.

 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

In order to help you reprocess traumatic events and create new beliefs about them, this treatment uses gentle tapping (or tones).

 

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

This method teaches you how to reconcile the disparate facets of your personality into a single, cohesive “self,” allowing you to process traumatic experiences in a way that will no longer be harmful.

 

Somatic (body-based) Therapy

Your body does not always need to be ready for trauma, according to somatic or body-centered therapies. This is because trauma originates in the limbic system of the brain rather than the frontal cortex, which is the section of the brain that communicates during therapy.

 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Those with complex trauma and borderline personality disorder (BPD), which share many symptoms, may find this method helpful. This therapeutic technique teaches radical self-acceptance, mindfulness, and discomfort tolerance.

 

How to Cope with Complex Trauma

The most important thing to do is find a good therapist who can guide you toward healing. However, there are certain things you can implement on your own to make sure you do everything you can to feel better, such as: 

  • Establishing goals for yourself
  • Recognizing and looking for situations, people, and circumstances that are comforting
  • Participating in a support group for trauma survivors
  • Being gentle and compassionate towards yourself (this is a tough one!)
  • Journaling
  • Finding a support group 

 

Wrap Up

You might feel as though complex trauma has taken over your life. Maybe you wonder if this will ever seem like less of a big issue and feel isolated in your experience. There are two things to remember: it will get better if you work on noticing your emotions, and you do not have to be alone in it. 

Spend some time learning about complex trauma because it is one of the best things you can do. There might be a support group or book club for recovery nearby that is worth a shot. Without a doubt, find a therapist who knows the right methods to help you and makes you feel heard and safe. Make sure you’re aware that getting therapy for complex trauma is crucial and that it will eventually help you recover.

 

Discuss your options for therapy with your provider. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Trauma And Dissociation: How Are They Connected?

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Trauma And Dissociation: How Are They Connected?

 

Oftentimes, when you read about trauma and dissociation, you will learn that these two terms are connected to each other. Trauma is a stressful event that has occurred to you, and dissociation is often a consequence of that trauma. 

After a stressful event, detachment and dissociation may increase the risk of major mental health issues, according to research. Numerous events have the potential to induce dissociation. As a result, dissociation can be a brief or persistent reaction to specific events.

Read on to learn more about these terms and what to do if you suspect dissociation due to trauma.

 

What Is Trauma? 

Trauma is the emotional response to a traumatic event like a car accident, crime, abuse, neglect, violence, death, and more. After the traumatic event, shock and denial are common reactions. Unpredictable feelings, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea are examples of longer-term effects.

Events that cause trauma might be singular or recurring. Trauma can also strike someone after they observe someone else go through a painful event. Individuals respond to stressful circumstances in different ways. For instance, even though a natural disaster occurs, people who experience it may react extremely differently.

However, recently, there has been more talk about dissociation. Another common coping mechanism during traumatic circumstances is dissociation. For instance, during a medical emergency, a kidnapping, or a war, some people may disassociate. It can shield us from distress in situations we are unable to physically escape.

 

Dissociation and Its Connection to Trauma

Dissociation episodes lasting a few minutes are not uncommon. Everybody can experience them occasionally. For instance, when we’re extremely exhausted or under a lot of stress, some experience symptoms of derealization. That is, the feeling that one’s surroundings are not real. 

You could feel cut off from both the outside world and yourself if you detach. For instance, you might experience disassociation from your body or an illusionistic perception of your surroundings. Keep in mind that every person experiences dissociation in a unique way.

Dissociation experiences might endure for a few hours or days, or they can last for weeks or months. You could occasionally suffer dissociation when a terrible event is taking place. However, you might have picked up dissociation as a coping mechanism for tense situations, which you might have learned as a child.

It’s important to say here that dissociation typically appears as a protective mechanism for events or situations you can’t resolve. That is why, in the case of severe abuse, many children grow out to be adults who don’t feel anything recalling these memories. Dissociation helped them in that period to survive and not feel so much pain. However, with time, dissociation should be addressed. Otherwise, it might lead to serious issues. 

 

How Trauma Leads to Dissociation

According to experts, trauma can lead to dissociation because of the way our bodies react to danger. Various hypotheses exist to explain how this occurs. When faced with danger, there are a few natural reactions we might have.

You may be familiar with the fight-or-flight reaction. These are the natural reactions to danger, which include either fleeing the area or defending oneself against the threat.

You won’t always be able to accomplish these tasks and you will react differently. In situations where you are unable to flee or are extremely young, your reaction to the threat may be more subdued, like in the following cases:

  • The freeze response is when the body becomes immobilized. You can have immobility or paralysis. Dissociation is most frequently associated with this reaction. Human dissociation is similar to how animals freeze in times of danger.
  • The fawn response is when you attempt to appease or gain the favor of the threat’s origin in order to keep it from hurting you.

 

Common Signs of Dissociation

Dissociation can manifest in a variety of ways. The most notable way is the belief that you or the environment you live in are unreal. Additionally, you can have lapses in memory or have more frequent forgetfulness of certain situations or conversations.

Dissociation sufferers may also experience these symptoms:

  • Feeling like a different person at times
  • Experiencing horrific incident flashbacks
  • Being disconnected from the world around you
  • Feeling cut off from your feelings
  • Changed perception of space and/or time

As previously mentioned, derealization and depersonalization are two extremely severe types of dissociation, and both are quite serious. Depersonalization involves feeling as though you’re not genuine, while derealization involves feeling as though the world around you isn’t real. They frequently result from severe experiences. 

 

Types of Dissociation Disorder

One of the serious consequences of dissociation can lead to different types of dissociation disorder, which are then more difficult to treat. 

 

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Multiple personality disorder was the previous term for dissociative identity disorder, which is characterized by the presence of two or more personality states. Childhood maltreatment, neglect, and other types of traumatic experiences are risk factors.

 

Dissociative Amnesia

Dissociative amnesia is characterized by a loss of memory for specific personal information or event details. Traumatic experiences are a risk factor, especially if there have been several traumatic occurrences or if the trauma was more intense, frequent, or violent.

 

Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder

It is characterized by a feeling of detachment or unreality toward your surroundings or your own body, respectively. Once more, trauma, especially from early life, is a significant risk factor. 

 

Conclusion

Regardless of your trauma, seeing a therapist is always recommended for people who feel like their past or current experiences are interfering with their way of life. If you notice dissociation as well, talking to an expert can help you understand why it happened in the first place and how to heal from your trauma.

In a safe environment, you discuss trauma with your therapist and learn tools and techniques that make you happy. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

What Is The Perfect Size?

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What Is The Perfect Size?

 

When we look into female anatomy and male anatomy, we often wonder what the perfect size is for each body. This question, deeply rooted in societal expectations and personal insecurities, tends to focus on physical attributes, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. In truth, the concept of a “perfect size” is subjective and varies greatly across individuals and cultures.

 

For females, the size of reproductive anatomy, such as breast size or hip width, is often idealized. However, these traits have no definitive standard. What matters most is how a woman feels about her body and how it functions healthily, rather than fitting into a societal mold.

 

For males, the focus often falls on penis size. While many men worry about whether they measure up to an imagined ideal, studies show that sexual satisfaction is far more influenced by emotional connection, communication, and mutual respect than any specific size.

 

Ultimately, the perfect size is one that allows both partners to feel confident, comfortable, and emotionally connected. Size alone is not the defining factor in a healthy and satisfying relationship, and the constant pursuit of a so-called ideal often leads to unnecessary anxiety and self-criticism. Instead, embracing body diversity and prioritizing intimacy built on trust and communication creates a more fulfilling connection than any measurement ever could.

 

@lifecoachingandtherapy

What Is The Perfect Size? When we look into female anatomy and male anatomy we wonder what the perfect size is for each body. #womenssexualhealth #femaleanatomy #femalebody #malebody #maleanatomy

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Toxic Bosses: How to Know If Your Boss Is Toxic?

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Toxic Bosses: How to Know If Your Boss Is Toxic?

 

Toxic bosses can do so much harm to their employees in so many ways. Not feeling comfortable in your work environment can impact your performance, socialization, self-esteem, and private areas of life.

We spend so many hours working, and it’s only natural that the experiences we have during our work hours impact us so much. However, when these experiences are negative, they can lead to serious issues, including health problems. The first step to ensuring you’re not stressed at work is identifying if your boss is toxic. This will provide you with a clearer picture of your work environment, your job, and your future at that company. After all, many employees leave because of their toxic bosses, even though they are satisfied with their salary and other benefits.

In this article, we bring you everything you need to know about toxic bosses and how to recognize if you have one. 

 

What Is a Toxic Boss? 

Bad bosses can be challenging to work for and might be hard to spot at times. The most common traits of a bad boss are grandiosity, micromanagement, excessive political behavior, and a lack of team trust.

A toxic manager is one who undermines and harms those who report to them. Their persistent, disruptive behavior robs workers of their autonomy, sense of purpose, and sense of belonging, all of which are essential for thriving at work, and causes staff to become disengaged.

 

Signs of a Toxic Boss

Understandably, it will be easier to determine whether your boss is toxic or not if you take a look at certain situations and how they react to them. In most cases, there are certain signs that are common among bosses who are difficult to work with. 

 

1.They Take Credit for Other People’s Work

A toxic employer will rarely give you credit for a job well done. Instead of viewing their staff as unique people, they perceive them as extensions of themselves. That is why they receive all the credit when anything works out. After all, they truly believe their staff only needs to carry out orders on their behalf. 

Although they take credit for your or your colleague’s work, they will never do that when faced with bad results. They avoid taking responsibility in such situations and often blame everyone else. Should they see any possibility of their own mistake or lack of action, they will promptly enter a state of denial and simply blame anyone else who is not them. 

 

2.They Don’t Listen

Your thoughts, worries, and criticism are ignored when working with a toxic supervisor. Furthermore, the organization as a whole suffers because of their inability to pay attention and actively listen. Even if your worries come true, they will probably blame it on you and not them. 

You probably notice that their attention span is also short and selective. This means that they will not give you the attention you need to talk about certain matters. However, if you talk about their greatness as a boss, they will definitely pay attention to what you are saying, as it boosts their ego. Additionally, you can miss out on important chances to learn and share ideas when you are unable to communicate properly, and you may come to believe that neither your work nor your ideas are essential.

 

3.They Use Fear  

Because they fear losing control, bad bosses will do all in their power to intimidate or frighten their team members into obedience. If you don’t comply, they might harm your reputation or your staff. In an attempt to show you who’s boss, they might also try to take away your authority and power, which would be highly detrimental to morale. The main point is that some bosses simply cannot stand having someone else have greater authority than them.

 

4.They Use Double Standards

A lousy boss will apply double standards, so you’ll know if you’re working for them. Either this person is incredibly strict and demanding, or they are the most laid-back boss on the planet with no boundaries at all (they make up regulations as they go). In any case, they will behave in an erratic and inconsistent manner.

You will always worry about the stability of your employment when your boss treats deadlines, performance reviews, communication styles, team composition, and project management procedures inconsistently. Oftentimes, this leads to staff burnout. 

 

5.They Don’t Respect Your Personal Life

You will often receive messages or calls from this type of boss, day and night. They anticipate that you will be available, even when it isn’t required. They’ll want anything to be done instantly, even if it means disrupting your meal with loved ones. Unkind supervisors don’t value your personal time or concern themselves with your well-being. They frequently fail to see how your personal life affects both your effectiveness at work and your chances of sticking with the company for a long period of time.

 

What to Do About It? 

There are many indicators of a toxic boss. Watch how they treat their staff and how much faith they have in them; there are a lot more warning signs that you should be aware of. If you believe that your supervisor is mistreating you or fostering a poisonous work atmosphere, it’s time to either find a new career or learn how to handle them.

While working with them, it would be a good idea to seek a therapist and talk to them about what you’re experiencing at work. After all, they might teach you techniques on how to deal better with such a boss and help you build the confidence to leave. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Revenge Sex: How Recommended It Really Is?

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Revenge Sex: How Recommended It Really Is?

 

We’ve heard songs, watched movies about, and oftentimes talked about revenge sex. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, revenge sex refers to having sex with someone for revenge because another person hurt you in a specific way. For example, you’ve realized your boyfriend cheated on you, and you want to have sex with someone else to hurt them back. 

If you have ever felt curious about revenge sex, read on!

 

You’ve Been Cheated On…

If you’re reading about revenge sex, there is a big chance that you may have been cheated on. In every relationship, this is one of the biggest fears, and when it happens, it creates pain inside you. You could feel hurt, betrayed, lost, or angry—all of it. This is when you might think about revenge sex as a way of taking back the control you feel you lost. 

Let’s be clear: there is nothing wrong with having sex after you’ve been hurt or ended your relationship. If you feel like your relationship is limiting you and you want more variety, it might be a good idea to experience sexual connection with another. However, if your only goal is to hurt someone else, revenge sex is not the best idea. 

Here’s why: it will realistically not give you what you’re looking for. You will not feel like you’re over the pain just because you had sex with someone else. Actually, these two things have little to do with each other. That is why it’s important to be clear on your motivation for sex with someone after ending a relationship or being cheated on. If you’re just looking to have fun, go for it! If you think it will heal your broken heart, unfortunately, it won’t!

 

Don’ts of Revenge Sex

If you’re determined to have revenge sex and truly believe it will make you feel better, I get it. You have the right to do anything that brings you peace at the moment. That said, there are a few things you need to keep in mind when you decide to have revenge sex. 

First, never announce it to your ex. If you plan to have revenge sex, do so for yourself. Sharing your intention with your ex might cause another attachment between you two. Beyond that, you can even feel that when you’re talking and having sex with another person, your mind is focused on your ex. That means you are actually using someone. 

Second, be safe. When hurt, we often want to do something wild and unexpected, and such situations can be dangerous as well. Let’s say you meet someone at a bar, and you’ve had one too many drinks. Your judgment will be off, and you could make risky decisions that could lead to a lack of safety. If you do want to have revenge sex with a complete stranger, make sure one of your friends has your location and is aware of your whereabouts.

Third, don’t pressure yourself into revenge sex. You might fantasize that you will be free of the pain in you if you have a sensual connection with another. There is this idea of feeling free after having revenge sex; however, this is not always true for all people. More importantly, if you do not use discernment, it may make you feel even worse. In many cases, people tried revenge sex when they weren’t ready because they assumed it would feel better than how they’re feeling now. 

 

How to Heal 

The reason why people consider having revenge sex is because they feel it will help them heal. They assume it will help them recover from a heartbreak, hurt, or any other pain caused by their romantic partner. If you’re uncertain whether revenge sex is the right choice for you, keep in mind there are other ways to heal.

One of the first things you should do when moving on from your ex is to remove everything that reminds you of them. For instance, you can put all the things in a box and store them in someone else’s storage container.

Cutting off all communication is not always enough to bring closure. There are moments when you need answers or want to understand why something happened. The important thing is to resolve the relationship in a constructive manner, so if both partners see it as a good idea, meet and discuss what needs to be discussed. If you need to seek therapy, please see someone. 

 

Moving On

Taking care of oneself is fundamental to recovering from a breakup or infidelity. In other words, make sure you’re eating foods that work for your body, moving instead of sitting all day, taking regular showers, and getting enough sleep.

It’s also comforting to redefine your own identity and put your independence front and center by focusing on interests that hold special meaning for you. Treating oneself to a little indulgence could also be beneficial. If you believe that getting a massage or manicure will make you feel better, think about doing so. When it comes to revenge sex, consider the reasons behind it. If you simply want to enjoy sex and feel good about yourself, go for it. In a period such as a breakup, it’s important to do things that will help you feel better. For some, this is writing down their feelings, while for others, it might be going out dancing and hooking up with someone. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Understanding Female Stimulation: A Guide to Intimacy

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Understanding Female Stimulation: A Guide to Intimacy

 

Female stimulation is often misunderstood or overlooked, but it’s essential to achieving a satisfying, healthy relationship for both partners.

Discover tips for enhancing intimacy and real relationship talk in the bedroom. In any intimate relationship, understanding your partner’s needs and desires is key to creating a deeper emotional and physical connection.

In this guide, we’ll explore how to communicate more openly about pleasure, with an emphasis on the importance of female stimulation. This includes thoughtful pillow talk, the role of foreplay, and fostering a deep emotional connection. Understanding female stimulation can help create a safe, comfortable environment where both partners feel heard, valued, and fully respected.

Whether you’re looking to improve your sexual relationship, deepen intimacy, or just begin a meaningful conversation about desires, this guide offers actionable advice for enhancing your bond. By making female stimulation a priority and maintaining open, honest communication, you can build a more connected, fulfilling relationship that thrives both in and out of the bedroom, while boosting emotional closeness and mutual satisfaction.

@lifecoachingandtherapy

Female Stimulation Discover tips for enhancing intimacy and connection naturally. Learn ways to improve your relationship and overall wellness. #femalebody #MindfulIntimacy #intimacytips #datingcoach #datingadvice #womenshealth #relationshiptips

♬ original sound – Life Coaching and Therapy

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

Why Am I So Lonely? Find Your Answer Here

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Why Am I So Lonely? Find Your Answer Here

 

If you’ve asked yourself at least once, ‘Why am I so lonely,” you probably didn’t come up with any reasonable answer. Songs and poems have been written about loneliness for centuries, and yet we’re struggling to understand its real meaning. We’re also still looking for causes of loneliness and how to recover from them. 

We have decided to explore a topic we all like to talk about but nobody likes to experience. Learn about loneliness, why it happens, and how to feel better.

 

The Definition of Loneliness

Even though it’s in our nature to connect, a lot of us will experience loneliness frequently. When social connections do not match expectations, a person feels lonely. In other words, you will probably feel lonely if you want to have more social interactions than you actually do.

A person may experience severe feelings of social isolation, regardless of their living situation. There are several ways to define loneliness. The UCLA Loneliness Scale, a widely used tool for measuring loneliness, questions participants about a variety of emotions or connection deficiencies, such as how frequently they do or feel the following:

  • You feel like you are alone.
  • You feel excluded.
  • Reach out to your friends or family to fulfill your needs.
  • Feel connected to people in your environment.

Profound loneliness is a huge social concern because of the possible health effects for people who feel they have few or no supportive social relationships. However, it also highlights the need for more human contact and interaction.

Some people experience severe and persistent loneliness even though they are in a long-term marriage or are surrounded by people throughout the day. Studies indicate that loneliness presents significant risks to both overall well-being and long-term physical health. That is why there is an increasing need to understand loneliness to be able to help yourself and those around you. 

 

Signs and Symptoms of Loneliness

Many people experience brief episodes of loneliness at some point in their lives. Usually fleeting in nature, these kinds of emotions are not regarded as chronic. However, there may be more serious indications and symptoms to be aware of, as well as actions you may take to assist in dealing with chronic loneliness when feelings of isolation and loneliness get worse and last for an extended period of time.

Depending on your circumstances and identity, there are many signs and symptoms of chronic loneliness. If some or all of the following describe you regularly, you may have chronic loneliness and should consider talking to your doctor or therapist. 

 

Inability to Establish Deeper Connections

You feel unable to establish closer, more personal connections with people. It’s possible that you have relatives and friends in your life, yet your interactions with them are relatively superficial. Your interactions don’t feel satisfyingly connected, and it appears like there will always be a void in your relationship.

 

Lack of Friends

You do not need to be a social butterfly to avoid loneliness. However, friendships are extremely beneficial to our mental and emotional health. If you only have acquaintances or casual friends, you may feel lonely. 

 

Feeling Alone in a Crowded Room 

Regardless of your surroundings, do you often feel lonely? Even with dozens of people at a party, you may feel alone, alienated, and disconnected. On a busy street, bus, or train, it does not matter because you are in your own bubble.

 

Low Self-Worth

Feelings of negative self-worth and self-doubt can often lead to isolation from other people and choosing to be alone. Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Long-term emotions like these could also be a sign of persistent loneliness.

 

Low Social Battery

Feeling fatigue and burnout when attempting social interaction is quite common if you’re not an extroverted person. Attempting to interact and be social with people can wear you out if you suffer from chronic loneliness. Persistent fatigue can result in several problems, such as disturbed sleep, compromised immunity, inadequate nutrition, and more.

 

How to Deal with Loneliness

Acknowledging your feelings and the effects loneliness is having on your life is the first step toward conquering it. Speak with a therapist or counselor first. They can offer extra strategies to battle loneliness, alternative therapies, assistance in developing effective coping mechanisms, and help you address the potential contributing factors.

 

Seek Support 

Talk to your loved ones. Tell them you’re having loneliness problems. Tell them how they might be able to lessen your loneliness if you’ve lost a loved one, a career, or a relationship or are dealing with other problems that have caused you to feel alone.

 

Don’t Spend Too Much Time Online

If you’re attempting to fight loneliness, the internet world offers safe, practical, and helpful ways to interact with people. For some people, engaging in social interactions and communication through online dating services, chat and message platforms, and multiplayer video games can be gratifying. Also, there are many apps made to help you overcome problems like social isolation and loneliness.

Think about whether it’s beneficial for you to use social media. Some people may feel even more alone and isolated as a result of their interactions with the community online. People on social media, for instance, can present themselves as having hundreds of close friends by their side and leading exciting, carefree lives. 

Most often, this is not true. Social media can make some people feel inadequate, excluded, and lonely. If the internet feels more like isolation than a connection, you may want to log off.

 

Take Care of Yourself

In addition to making an effort to socialize, remember that physical activity, a balanced diet, enough sleep, sunlight, and even meditation can all help combat feelings of loneliness. Exercise has been demonstrated to release endorphins in the brain.

A balanced diet can also impact your brain’s health. Regular use of sugar, preservatives, and highly processed foods can be detrimental to your mental and physical well-being. 

Emotional wellness and sleep quality are strongly correlated. Feelings of loneliness and isolation can be exacerbated by sleep deprivation or bad sleeping patterns, and vice versa. That is why it’s essential to improve your sleeping patterns. Before going to bed, avoid consuming too much caffeine, switch off electronic gadgets to unwind, and make sure your bedroom is dark.

If you want to meet with a professional, see one of ours. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

10 Signs of Trauma Bonding: How to Recognize It On Time? 

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10 Signs of Trauma Bonding: How to Recognize It On Time? 

 

Are you looking for 10 signs of trauma bonding to better understand how you connect with others? In this article, we’ll take a closer look into trauma bonding and the common signs you should pay attention to in order to avoid harmful consequences. 

It is most typical for trauma ties to form in romantic relationships, and it can be very difficult to leave these kinds of relationships. Processing emotions following emotional or physical abuse can be challenging and learning how to approach this confusing experience could be crucial for your wellbeing. 

 

What Is Trauma Bonding? 

Trauma bonding refers to a relationship that may develop into an abusive one. We develop a deep bond with someone who is hurting us in this circumstance. This can occur in any kind of connection, romantic or not, and it frequently feeds an abusive and affectionate cycle that is hard to escape.

When someone who is or has been abused connects with their abuser, it’s known as trauma bonding. This relationship is founded on the abuse the individual has experienced or is currently experiencing, be it psychological or physical.

The idea that you may get close to someone who treats you badly may surprise you, yet this is one of the key pieces in the abuse cycle. During the reconciliation and quiet period, the abuse cycle may give rise to a delusion of security (more on that in a moment).

Understanding trauma bonding is crucial when assisting those who have been abused. This is due to the fact that having an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult because it often elicits complex and contradictory emotions.

 

Signs of Trauma Bonding

In situations where the abusive individual never shows you any kindness or concern for your well-being, it’s usually easier to leave.

Sometimes, nevertheless, your partner will treat you nicely in an abusive relationship. They may take you out, proclaim you their soulmate, bring you gifts, or just tell you to unwind. With time, these moments are replaced with worry, anxiety, stress, or different types of abuse. Then, this person will use the same tactics they previously used to win you over and gain your trust again.

Although it might seem complicated to notice at first, there are certain signs that are common in such situations.

 

1.Making Excuses for Your Partner’s Behavior

If you’re trying to justify your partner’s poor behavior with excuses, you might be in a trauma-bonding relationship. Making excuses for their bad temper or lack of commitment is a typical reaction of someone who is bonding in this particular way. You might think you’re actually being supportive, yet if their behavior doesn’t improve, justifying their actions will not benefit your relationship.

 

2.Lying about Your Partner

You don’t have to lie to justify your partner’s behavior. You might also feel like you have to protect their past, their errors, or their intentions for the future. Assuming that other people will not react to it in the desired way, you choose to sugarcoat or completely lie about it. This is especially alarming if you don’t lie to protect yourself yet catch yourself doing it various times for your partner.

 

3.You Don’t Feel Comfortable Leaving

You might know deep in your heart that this relationship is not right for you, yet you decide to stay. Maybe your financial situation is making you feel insecure, or you’re ashamed of being the only single person in your group. Whatever the reason, you decide to stay in this relationship and consider it to be a better option for yourself. 

 

4.You Blame Yourself

If your partner comes home angry, you blame yourself for not being able to help them relax. If your partner yells at you, it’s your fault for aggravating them. You don’t see your partner as a person responsible for their own emotions and actions, so you choose to blame yourself. This often occurs when a victim feels hopeless, so they prefer to blame themselves.

 

5.You’re Trapped in a Repetitive Cycle

If you already know the pattern of your partner’s behavior, you’re probably trapped in a repetitive cycle. For instance, they might start a discussion with you only to later buy you flowers and spoil you with their attention. If you haven’t had many positive moments with them, hanging on to these actions that come after they hurt you might seem like a good thing. However, if your partner only acts nice to make up for the damage they have caused you, it’s a vicious cycle that is not good for either one of you. 

 

6.You Believe Their Promises

Even if you’ve heard all of their promises before, you still tend to believe there is a chance for a positive change in your relationship. You’re ignoring all their actions and only focusing on the idea of a happier future. For this promise to be true, you will need to see their behavior change. It’s one thing to promise to do better and another one to actually prove you’re changing for the better every day.

 

7.You Feel Controlled

When you start a relationship, sometimes it feels good to relax and allow your partner to make most of the decisions. With time, that type of dynamic can lead to them being more and more controlling. They might ask you to stop talking to your friends or family, stop working, or start a family without considering how you feel about it. 

 

8.You Feel Alone

One of the common traits of a person who wants to bond with you is isolation. They will want to isolate you from your friends and family. They do so by spending a lot of time with you or by making you feel guilty for leaving them alone. If your partner doesn’t want you to maintain your friendships, it’s probably because they’re afraid that someone might see right through them. 

 

9.Your Family or Friends Are Not On Your Side

If you’re unhappy in your relationship and can’t talk to your friends about it because they are on your partner’s side, something’s wrong. Many controlling people tend to use the confidence of people in their lives as leverage. In other words, if they have more people on their side, you will look like the ‘bad guy’ to everyone, regardless of the circumstances. 

 

10.You Cling to the Illusion and Not the Reality

If what you want for your relationship is better than what it actually is, it could be a sign of trauma bonding. Of course, it’s normal to experience unpleasant situations with your partner. However, if you feel like your relationship is not providing you with what you need, you might start fantasizing about it. You could think about how they might change one day, whether it’s after they change their job or you get married. Thinking that an external factor will change their behavioral problems will only lead to more despair and heartache. 

If any of these are happening, it may be a sign of trauma bonding. If you need help with how to manage this, please see one of our clinicians. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do. 

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About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.