Anxiety About Sex

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Anxiety About Sex Is MORE Common Than You Think — How to FIX IT!

 

Have you ever felt your heart race, your palms sweat, or your mind start spinning right before an intimate moment? Maybe you’ve even found yourself avoiding sex altogether because the pressure feels overwhelming. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck in that anxiety spiral.

Anxiety about sex can show up in so many sneaky ways: overthinking, self-criticism, fear of rejection, or feeling completely disconnected from your body. It can stem from past experiences, performance pressure, body image struggles, or just the fear of not being “enough.” But here’s the good news: this doesn’t have to be your forever.

In this video, I’m breaking down three simple, touch-based techniques that help calm your nervous system and gently guide you back into the present moment. These are powerful tools I use with my clients all the time to transform tension into trust, and anxiety about sex into real connection and confidence.

Let’s normalize talking about anxiety about sex—because intimacy should feel safe, playful, and empowering. You deserve that. Let’s begin.

 

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

bout Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

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Premarital Counseling Questions that Build a Lasting Marriage

 

Premarital counseling questions can be quite helpful in getting to know your partner better before saying ‘I do.’ There are probably several topics you haven’t covered yet that can significantly impact your marriage, whether negatively or positively.  As life partners, you will work together towards mutual goals, and ensuring these goals are aligned with your personal goals is essential. 

Do you want kids? What do you want to save money for? These and similar questions are a wonderful conversation starter. More than that, discussing these topics can make your lives easier. When you know the person you want to marry well, the marriage will help you avoid negative surprises. Just imagine being married for five years to learn that your partner wants different things from you. 

 

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters 

Asking the right questions is a powerful tool to get to know anyone, especially people you let into your personal space. Marriage is a serious commitment that you want to last. Avoiding talking about certain areas does not guarantee your marriage will last. In most cases, it’s quite the opposite. 

That is why it’s important to ask these premarital counseling questions and share your perspective with your partner as well. Instead of treating it like a questionnaire, use each topic to initiate a conversation. That way, you will both feel more relaxed and share more information with each other. Conversation allows you to go further than just responding with yes or no. 

While talking about these topics, you might also get inspired by each other’s answers. What our partner shares can help us understand how we feel about something and why. Below, find the areas with question examples you can use to start a conversation with your future spouse. 

 

Which Areas to Cover in Premarital Counseling

There are no wrong topics to discuss with your partner. However, exploring key premarital counseling questions can be crucial if you plan to get married. As much as getting married is a romantic decision, it will also impact other areas of your life.

 

Values and Life Goals

Each person has their set of values. Do yours and your partner’s align? Remember, there are no wrong or right values in life. Some might align more with another person’s values, while others will be less aligned. 

Talking about your life goals can also help you determine whether your aspirations align. For instance, knowing that you both aspire to have a big family one day is a positive sign. You wouldn’t even be aware that you and your partner share similar life goals if you didn’t discuss it.

These are the questions you can ask:

  • What does a meaningful life look like to you?
  • What are three major goals you still want to achieve?
  • How do you define success for yourself?

 

Communication Styles and Conflict Resolution

The way we communicate with each other has a greater impact than what we communicate about. Respect, honesty, and curiosity are the three pillars of quality and healthy communication in any type of relationship. 

When conflict arises, how do you approach it? How does your partner approach it? Do you talk about it first, or do you prefer to have some time to think about it? Learning each other’s communication style and the way you approach conflict is essential for the well-being of your relationship.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • Do you prefer to talk things out immediately or take time to process first?
  • What makes you feel truly heard and understood?
  • What does “emotional safety” in communication look like for you?
  • What’s your go-to reaction when you feel hurt or misunderstood?
  • How were conflicts handled in your family growing up, and how has that shaped you?
  • Do you tend to avoid conflict, confront it directly, or do something else?
  • What helps you calm down when you’re feeling upset?

 

Finances and Money Management

Many arguments in marriages happen due to money. As much as love is what brought you together, money is what helps you get through the day. Having financial struggles will make it more difficult to enjoy your marriage and stay happily in love. 

That is why it is important to learn about your partner’s approach to earning money, financial responsibilities, and managing money. For instance, one person might prefer to earn as much money as possible, while another enjoys spending all they have and living in the moment. These opposite perspectives toward money could result in arguments. 

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you feel about saving vs. spending?
  • What does financial security mean to you?
  • Do you see money as a source of freedom, stress, power, or something else?
  • Are you more of a planner or spontaneous when it comes to finances?
  • How do you feel about debt?

 

Family and Children

Before marriage, it’s vital to talk about your partner’s views on family and kids. Do you want kids? Does your partner want kids? If you don’t share the same views, it might take more work to maintain the marriage. 

Also, learn about how they think of family. Is it a priority for them, or do they want to stay focused on their career? This talk should help you recall your youth and learn about your partner’s side you may not have heard before. 

These are the questions you can ask:

  • Do you want to have children? If so, how many?
  • What are your reasons for wanting (or not wanting) kids?
  • At what point in our marriage would you ideally want to start a family?
  • How do you imagine us dividing parenting roles (day-to-day tasks, emotional labor, decision-making)?
  • How would we handle disagreements about parenting?

 

Intimacy and Affection

A successful marriage is one that satisfies both partners’ needs for intimacy and affection. Intimacy can mean different things to different people. You might prefer physical touch, while your partner prefers long conversations as a form of intimacy. Talking about it helps you understand each other’s needs better and allows you to give your partner what they need.

These are the questions you can ask: 

  • How do you most naturally give and receive love (words, touch, gifts, quality time, acts of service)?
  • What makes you feel most emotionally connected to me?
  • How important is regular affection (hugging, kissing, cuddling) to you?
  • How would you like emotional support when facing a challenging situation?

 

Conclusion

Make sure that these questions lead to relevant conversations. You don’t have to cover all areas in one conversation. Instead, find a moment when you both feel relaxed and willing to talk and bring up one of the topics mentioned above. You can even share your answers first to motivate your partner to open up if they have a hard time communicating about similar topics. If you disagree, do your best to find a way to give you both what you need. 

If you lack ideas on how to overcome an obstacle, visiting a marital therapist is always a good idea. They could also help you prepare for marriage. 

If you need premarital counseling, schedule a session now.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is the Perfect Size of a Man?

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What Is the Perfect Size of a Man? Surprising Stats & Preferences Revealed

 

What is the perfect size of a man?
(Spoiler: it’s not about inches—it’s about intimacy, presence, and how you make someone feel.)

In a world obsessed with measurements, unrealistic standards, and comparison culture, it’s easy to feel like you’re either “too much” or “not enough.” But let’s take a deep breath and break this down. Because when it comes to attraction, confidence, and emotional connection, the truth might surprise you.

Let’s unpack the stats, the myths, and the real preferences people have when it comes to men’s bodies. From body type and height to how you show up in the bedroom—and more importantly, outside of it—there’s so much more to “size” than what’s in your jeans.

Whether you’re struggling with self-esteem, curious about body image, or just want to deepen your relationships, this one’s for you. 💖 Because the sexiest thing? Confidence, kindness, and emotional intelligence. Every. Single. Time.

Ready to shift the narrative?

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with a Lazy Husband

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How to Deal with a Lazy Husband

 

Learning how to deal with a lazy husband or wife is necessary for the well-being of your marriage. Laziness could become a huge problem if you prefer an active lifestyle. For instance, you might want to spend the weekend in nature or visiting new places, while your spouse prefers staying at home and watching Netflix until they fall asleep. 

Have they always been like this, or have they become lazy over the years? Understanding the root of their laziness can help you find the best approach to addressing this issue. In this article, we’ll take a look behind laziness and suggest techniques you can try to work on with your husband or wife. 

 

Defining Laziness

To understand your options, we’ll look into what laziness is first. Laziness is the lack of motivation or energy to do something, even if the person can do it. One thing that is important to highlight here is that saying that someone is lazy is often a subjective judgment. What one person considers lazy might be considered normal by another. 

That said, there could be many causes of laziness, such as boredom, fatigue, and lack of interest. In some cases, people who are struggling with depression or burnout can be described as lazy, so it’s crucial to understand what is behind your spouse’s laziness. 

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Was he/she always like this?
  • In which area of their life are they showing signs of laziness?
  • What do situations in which you’ve seen them motivated have in common?
  • Is their laziness sometimes more pronounced than it was in the past?
  • What signs do you notice when you refer to them as a lazy person?

Responding to these questions can help you understand if there is a pattern in your partner’s laziness. They might feel a lack of motivation in their personal life yet be very active in their career. On the other hand, they could show a lack of desire to be active around the house while maintaining an active social life with their friends. Learning about the characteristics of your partner’s laziness is crucial if you want to understand them better and help them. 

 

How Your Husband’s Laziness Affects You 

Before you address this issue with your husband, you will want to learn how their laziness is impacting you. Do you expect your partner to meet certain needs, but they can’t because they’re putting it off? Maybe you want them to help with chores or become more proactive in planning your weekends. Whatever it is, it’s important you’re clear on it before approaching them for a conversation. If you’re wondering how to deal with a lazy husband in a way that feels fair and constructive, getting clarity on how it affects you is a crucial first step.

If it helps, you can make a list of reasons why your husband’s laziness is annoying you. Be honest, as you will not read the list to them. This exercise aims to help you express your feelings and understand how their laziness affects you.

Another tool you can use every day is journaling. Seeing how your spouse’s laziness is affecting you every day can help you prepare better for a conversation with them. Once you know what’s bothering you, clarify what you want from your partner. Do you want to talk to them more? Spend time in nature? Would having more help around the house allow you to have more free time?

Lastly, you will also want to define the boundaries you wish to set. These boundaries can refer to your emotional and mental health, behavior, words, or anything else that would make you feel better about the current situation. For example, you won’t clean up their mess in the apartment.

Depending on the person and their partner, laziness can be a minor issue or a big obstacle to your marriage.

Talking to Your Spouse

When discussing something that may hurt your spouse, think carefully about what you want to say. It’s reasonable to assume that they won’t feel comfortable having this conversation as you discuss their actions. That is why it’s essential to avoid blaming language.

Instead of accusing them of their laziness, try to explain to them how you feel. So, you will want to say something like “I feel overwhelmed/sad/frustrated when you …” 

Tell them how their laziness affects you, but also offer to help. If you think they’re open to it and it’s the right moment, suggest visiting a therapist. 

You will also want to speak with your spouse at a time and place they feel most relaxed. Don’t just jump into the conversation as soon as they arrive. Ask them when they can talk about something important. When you start talking, ensure there are no distractions, whether that’s phones, TV, music, or similar. 

Avoid setting ultimatums. You don’t want to make your husband do something differently; you want them to feel the need to do so. The problem will not disappear if they stop acting lazy around you. This will just pressure them into acting unnatural. You will want to find the root of the cause and support them in their journey. 

 

Work Together Towards a Solution

After the talk, don’t leave your partner alone to find the solution. Offer them help, talk to them, and ask what they would need from you to feel more motivated. As much as their laziness is their problem, you need two people for a successful marriage. Your aim is to be the best you can be, not to fix your husband’s laziness.

Still unsure how to deal with a lazy husband in a way that doesn’t drain you or create more resentment? Working together is key—but it’s okay if you need support along the way.

If you cannot discuss this tender topic, come seek couples therapy. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Physical Signs of Low Self Esteem

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Physical Signs of Low Self Esteem You NEED to Recognize

 

Ever wonder what low self esteem really looks like?  It’s not always what people say—it’s how they move. In this video, I’m breaking down the physical signs of low self esteem that show up in everyday body language.

We’re talking slouched posture, avoiding eye contact, nervous fidgeting, and even how someone walks into a room. These subtle signs can speak louder than words and often go unnoticed, even by the person doing them.

Low self esteem isn’t just a mindset—it seeps into the way we carry ourselves. It can affect how we sit, stand, smile (or don’t), and even how we breathe.

Maybe you’ll recognize these signs in someone you love—or maybe in yourself. Either way, awareness is power. Once you spot these patterns, you can start making gentle changes that rebuild confidence from the outside in.

This isn’t about judging—it’s about understanding. The body keeps the score, and sometimes, our posture tells the story our words can’t.

✨ Watch ‘til the end for tips on how to shift your body language to match the confident, radiant version of you that already exists deep down. She’s in there—I promise.

Body Image Therapy: Learn Positive Body Image

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

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Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships

 

If you’re wondering, ‘Why do people stay in abusive relationships?’ this article will aim to answer that question. Whether you’re reading this material to understand yourself and your relationship or you want to support a friend, this guide can help you understand why a person would choose to stay in such a relationship.

Learn how to recognize an abusive relationship, the reasons for staying, and the best ways to exit it. 

 

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship is characterized by violence, cruelty, harm, and disrespect. Treating a partner in any of these ways indicates an abusive relationship. When it comes to types, relationship abuse can be physical, sexual, spiritual, or emotional. 

These are the most common signs of an abusive relationship:

  • Constant criticism, insults, or name-calling
  • Gaslighting (making you doubt yourself) 
  • Blaming you for everything 
  • Mood swings that keep you walking on eggshells
  • Withholding affection as punishment
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Dictating what you wear, eat, or how you spend money (without consent) 
  • Monitoring your phone, emails, or social media
  • Yelling, screaming, or demeaning you in private or public
  • Using sarcasm or “jokes” to humiliate you
  • Hitting, slapping, punching, choking, or biting (without consent)
  • Insulting your beliefs and practices
  • Throwing objects, punching walls, or threatening with weapons
  • Grabbing, pushing, or restraining
  • Blocking exits or physically intimidating you

These are the most common signs of abusive relationships. That said, if you feel harmed by your partner’s behavior, yet it’s not on this list, it doesn’t make it okay. Abuse from loved ones is often difficult to identify, and it can be confusing for those who experience it. If you suspect your relationship is abusive, talk to a friend or a therapist and share how you feel. 

 

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

The first thing someone thinks when talking about abusive relationships is, ‘Why don’t they just leave?’ However, leaving someone you love is not easy, even if you’re not happy in a relationship with them. There are many potential reasons why someone might decide to stay in an abusive relationship. 

Trauma Bonding

A person who grew up without unconditional love or in a dangerous home is more likely to be in an abusive relationship. In these situations, children develop emotional dependence and seek that familiar dynamic. Because of this, some people choose the same partner type repeatedly. 

Low Self-Worth

A person with lower self-worth will choose to stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling for them because they think they deserve it. For example, your friends might say for a while that you deserve a better partner, yet you don’t believe them. You think you have to put up with all the drama because someone better wouldn’t be interested in you. You may believe this because your partner lied and abused you by saying you’d never find anyone better. 

Being Threatened

In more severe cases, a person might be afraid to leave, as their partner has threatened them. These threats can include lying about you or threatening self-harm if you leave. Whatever the content of these threats, you decide to stay with them, as leaving could result in undesired consequences. 

Fear of the Unknown

Starting all over again might seem scary, especially as you get older. We get used to people and the relationships we build with them, even the bad ones. Staying in the familiar situation can seem safer than navigating the unknown. This situation could have the same effect if you dislike being alone or fear independence. 

Stigma or Shame

Staying in abusive relationships to avoid shame and comments from others is common for couples with children. They may view the ending of the relationship as a personal failure, a perception that is far from accurate. There is no excuse for abusive behavior, regardless of how your decision to leave the abusive partner might seem to others. 

Financial Dependence

If your partner is earning all the money, you might feel like you can’t end the relationship. Without money, you wouldn’t be able to find an apartment and cover all your needs. That said, if your partner is abusive, you can ask your friends and family for help, including financial assistance. They can give you food and a couch until you decide what to do. Additionally, some states provide financial resources for situations like this. 

Religious or Cultural Beliefs

In some cultures and religions, ending a relationship or marriage is viewed negatively. Everyone has heard stories of a happily ever after. However, life is not made only of perfect moments and people. Knowing when to cut ties with people who treat you poorly is essential for your well-being. 

 

Breaking the Silence

Many people in abusive relationships will try their best to change their abusive partners. Understanding the distinction between relationship difficulties and an abusive partner is crucial. Instead of trying to make them understand how you feel, talk to someone whom you trust and who can truly support you, whether that person is a family member, friend, or therapist.

Talking to someone else can also help you consider how to end a relationship in the best possible way. For the same reasons that they continue in such a relationship, many victims choose to remain silent. Getting the help you need is essential and is the only way to end your suffering. If the abuse has been going on for a while and it has taken a serious toll on your health, talk to a therapist or a trusted healthcare practitioner. 

Sometimes, talking to people who have been through the same experience can help. Look for online or offline support groups and connect with people who truly understand how you feel. Talking to someone who is now recovered from such a relationship can give you hope and motivate you to leave your abusive partner. After all, whatever the reason for staying in an abusive relationship, it is not worth sacrificing your peace, health, and happiness. You deserve to be happy and with someone who wants to make you happy every day!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Manipulation in Relationships Signs

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7 Sneaky Manipulation in Relationships Signs You NEED to Spot!

 

Manipulation in relationships signs aren’t always flashing neon red flags. Sometimes they’re soft, subtle, and wrapped in a hug that feels just off. 😳 Ever gotten a hug that felt more like control than comfort? Yep. That’s what we’re talking about.

In this video, I’m breaking down 7 low-key ways manipulation hides in physical touch—and why your gut reaction is always worth listening to.

When someone uses physical affection to control, distract, or guilt-trip you, it can leave you questioning your own instincts. A hand on your back that subtly steers you at a party. A kiss that interrupts rather than connects. A “comforting” cuddle that only shows up when you agree with them. All of these are ways manipulation disguises itself as intimacy.

We’re diving into how touch can be used like a reward system—offered when you comply, withdrawn when you push back. And how physical closeness can blur emotional boundaries, keeping you stuck in cycles of guilt and confusion.

Another manipulation tactic? Acting hurt or rejected when you ask for space. That “But I just want to be close to you” line can sound sweet but feel suffocating when it ignores your needs.

By the end of this, you’ll know how to spot when affection is being used to connect—and when it’s being used to control. Because real love doesn’t pressure. It honors your yes and your no.

So get cozy, open your heart, and let’s shine a light on these subtle signs—because your peace is worth protecting. 💛

Let’s dive in. 👀✨

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Netflix Adolescence: The Conversation We Need to Have

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Netflix Adolescence: The Conversation We Need to Have

 

If you still haven’t seen Netflix’s Adolescence, you’ve probably heard other people talk about it. According to Netflix, this TV series had 96.7 million views in the first three weeks, making it the ninth most-watched series on that platform. There are several reasons why this series became popular immediately, yet the most important one is that it invites us all to talk about something taboo—violent behavior in minors. 

If you still haven’t watched it, we’ll do our best not to spoil it for you. However, you probably already know what it’s about. A young boy is accused of the murder of a girl who goes to the same school as he does. Unlike any other series about this topic, Adolescence doesn’t pretend to be a crime series in which we’re anxiously waiting to learn whether he did it or not. Instead, we’re invited to learn about violent behaviors between teens, how they affect them, and what impact such a tragedy can have on a thirteen-year-old boy and his entire family. 

 

Adolescent Violence

This series showed viewers that adolescent violence is taboo for some reason. Children feel like they have to hide it from their parents, and the parents assume that everything is alright if their child is not asking for help. The series also addressed the school system’s lack of ability to provide that support to students. 

Underpaid educators and overworked parents are struggling with so many issues in their adult lives that the social component of growing up is completely overlooked. Just because a person is a good teacher or a good parent, it doesn’t mean that the child will be protected from anything that’s going on in school. Peer pressure and social media play a giant role in today’s adolescent years. This generation is going through something that previous generations haven’t experienced. Maybe that’s also one explanation for why these kids lack support when they need it the most.

 Most importantly, it is crucial to include teens in the conversation about violent behaviors. This Netflix series made that obvious and invited parents to check in on their children and ask about these things. Instead of asking the question, ‘How was school today?’ sit with them and start a conversation about “what was the most challenging part of your day” or “what was the highlight of your day?” Pay attention to their words and the topics they avoid talking about. If you believe that your kid finds going to school stressful, talk to them about visiting a therapist and highlight the benefits of therapy. 

 

How to Talk About Violence With Your Child

If this series has made you realize the significance of discussing child violence, there are several actions you can take to enhance the comfort and mutual benefit of such conversations. You’ll want to keep this conversation going. If you haven’t talked to your child about this before, the first conversation could be longer. But you should ask them how they feel about school and their friends. 

 

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Make sure all your questions are open-ended. It’s possible that your child will not feel comfortable talking about this topic at first, and asking yes or no questions might make the conversation short and dry. Instead, ask them open-ended questions and show curiosity while talking to them. To start, you might want to ask questions like:

  • What is your favorite thing about going to school?
  • What is your least favorite thing about going to school? 
  • How do you spend your lunch break?
  • Are there kids who usually sit alone? Why do you think that is?
  • Is there somebody in your class who makes other kids uncomfortable or sad?

Give them time to respond to each of your questions. When you’ve both decided to stop the conversation, ensure they know that you want them to continue talking about this topic with you. If they have shared something that makes them uncomfortable going to school, follow up regularly to see how they feel. 

 

Don’t Offer Solutions

One of the common traps for parents is offering solutions. When you provide solutions to your kids’ problems, you’re not teaching them to be able to solve them. You are making them dependent on you or someone else later in life. Instead, ask them what they think is the best solution. You can ask questions such as:

  • What do you think is the best way to solve this?
  • If this were happening to you, what would you do? 
  • How can I support you and give you what you need now?

If they don’t come up with anything, don’t jump in with suggestions. They could come up with their answer in a few hours or tomorrow. It’s more about getting them to think of solutions than solving the problems they mentioned. 

 

Share Your Experience

Children respond to similar experiences. Don’t forget they only know the adult version of yourself. That is why it’s critical to tell them about your similar experience. If someone made fun of them, share your feelings about a similar experience you had at their age. 

Don’t just tell them what happened; tell them how you felt. Sharing your feelings can resonate with a child going through the same situation. Sharing a similar story goes much further than simply saying you understand them. The story can also motivate them to think about how they feel and share these feelings with you. 

 

Keeping the Conversation Open

As we’ve mentioned already, the most important thing to do here is to maintain this conversation with your kid regularly. Let them know they can come back to you anytime with questions or worries. It’s better to have an ongoing conversation than a one-time talk.

Be sure to provide them with an example. You can model how to approach their issues, but don’t offer solutions. Children learn from watching their parents and not just hearing them talk. How you react to different situations and your emotional stability can guide your kids. If you think that situations at school are impacting your child’s emotional and mental health, consider taking them to a trusted therapist. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Chemistry Between Two People: How to Recognize It?

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Chemistry Between Two People: How to Recognize It?

 

Is chemistry between two people real? How long does it last? Is it the same as being in love? We’ve all found ourselves thinking about this, especially when we become romantically interested in someone new. You might compare this feeling you have with the last time you experienced something similar. Regardless of what it is, we can all agree that the chemistry of love makes our world a little more interesting. 

There are certain signs that indicate chemistry exists between you and another person. Depending on the circumstances, you might date them or simply enjoy the subtle flirting. Learn how to recognize these signs and when it makes sense to address the chemistry.

 

Signs of Chemistry Between Two People

One person doesn’t have to experience the chemistry the same way as someone else. They might even notice that every time they feel attracted to someone, it feels different or unique. For some, this chemistry could be felt only on a physical level. The person’s appearance and aura might attract them. In most cases, this chemistry is a mix of emotional, mental, and physical attraction. 

Such chemistry can be indicated by the intensity of contact and the feeling of being drawn to them. Find below the most obvious signs of chemistry between two people:

    • Intense eye contact: You can’t keep your eyes off of them, and they feel the same way. When you look into each other’s eyes, there’s a certain connection that you only feel with them. 
    • Talking to them is easy: You might have many things in common, or you simply enjoy talking for hours about different topics that come to mind. You feel like you know them for much longer, and it’s much easier to talk to them than to other people in your life. 
  • They make you laugh: You smile around them all the time. 
  • Your body reacts when they’re near: You might feel butterflies in your stomach or tingling when they’re close to you or when they touch you. 
  • Mimicking gestures: You unconsciously mimic each other’s gestures, speech patterns, or posture. It’s a subtle sign of a deep connection.
  • Losing track of time: Time passes by quickly when you’re talking to them, looking at them, or daydreaming about them. 
  • After spending time with them, you feel an energy boost instead of feeling drained; their presence gives you a buzz, like a shot of positive energy.

 

What to Do About the Chemistry

You’re certain there is chemistry between you and the other person, and now what? What are your options? First, it will significantly depend on the circumstances. Are you both single? Would there be complications if you wanted to start dating or become a couple? For instance, you might work together and dating can be awkward, especially if things don’t lead to the expected outcomes. 

Second, analyze their words and gestures. Do they still seem as interested in you as they were in the beginning? Do you believe they feel the same way as you do? Taking a moment and thinking about their feelings toward you can help you understand better your options.

If you believe that the chemistry is mutual and strong, it’s time for the next step. What actions would make you feel comfortable? Maybe you’d like to express verbally how they make you feel. You could tell them directly or write it in a letter. If that’s too much for you, use body language to make them realize how you feel about them. Sit closer, show interest by asking questions, flirt, invite them to spend time alone with you, etc. Whatever feels natural to you, do it. 

 

What If It’s Not Chemistry?

Occasionally, it can be tricky to determine whether what you feel is chemistry or something else. Chemistry between two people implies that you both feel attracted to each other on some level. If they are not showing any of the signs mentioned above, maybe it’s time to reconsider the situation. Is it chemistry or something else?

A person might have different motives for connecting with another person. A boss or a colleague might show interest in a certain employee because they recognize potential in them or want to learn a certain skill from them. A friend could appreciate a friend’s advice without any romantic intentions. 

Take a moment to really think about how they behave when they’re near you. Have they said or done something that implies they’re attracted to you? Do they treat other people the same way, or is there something unique about their approach to you? 

If you’re uncertain if there’s chemistry between the two of you, consider if it makes more sense to wait until you know or to ask them directly. If you work or are friends with someone, it can be awkward to learn they don’t feel the same way. 

Take It Slow 

The best piece of advice for this situation is to take it slow. Rushing things could ruin the chemistry you already have. Instead, try to take it slow and see how the situation evolves. If you feel attracted to them and notice they feel the same, enjoy it. We often want to label things instead of enjoying the experience. 

When the moment is right, you’ll know it. There might be the right gesture, word, or opportunity that makes you feel like you want to address the chemistry and ask the person about their view on it. If you’re honest about your feelings from the start, it will be easier to deal with. Whatever the case, make sure you’re not pressuring yourself into doing something you’re uncomfortable with. Respecting your needs first will help you enjoy that chemistry more, regardless of the outcome. 

If you want to entice more feelings of chemistry at home, get our sensual video for therapy suggestions on demand.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Sensual Definition

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Sensual Definition: Unlock the Power of Touch and Connection

Let’s talk about the sensual definition. And no, it’s not just about romance or physical attraction (though those can be fun too). In today’s video, we’re expanding the meaning of sensuality and inviting you to experience it in a whole new way.

Sensuality is about presence. It’s about tuning in, slowing down, and savoring life through your senses. The warmth of your morning coffee mug, the way your softest sweater hugs your skin, the scent of rain on the pavement—these aren’t just everyday things. They’re tiny portals to deeper connection.

By embracing sensuality, we’re saying yes to living more fully in our bodies and in the present moment. It’s a practice of intimacy—with yourself, with others, and with the world around you.

Once you tap into this kind of connection, even your daily rituals start to feel ✨magical✨. So grab your coffee, cozy up, and let’s redefine sensual together.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is Tantric Meditation & Should You Try It

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What Is Tantric Meditation & Should You Try It

 

You’ve probably landed here after asking, ‘What is tantric meditation?’ There is so much confusion around tantric massages and tantric meditation. Although Tantra is often connected with sex, it is a much broader term than that. The origin of Tantra can be traced back to Hinduism and Buddhism, making it an ancient yogic tradition. 

In this article, we’ll take a closer look at tantric meditation, teach you how to meditate this way, and cover everything else you need to know about Tantra.

 

Definition of Tantra

Tantra was first practiced on the Indian subcontinent as an integral part of a yogic tradition. The name refers to the system of practices and philosophies that aim to expand consciousness and cultivate the inherent divine potential within oneself. Tantra uses a wide range of techniques, including rituals, mantras, visualizations, and yogic practices. It often involves using the body and energy to access higher states of awareness.

Tantra emphasizes the sacredness of the body and all aspects of life, including sexuality. It denies that the body hinders spiritual growth, as some religions and philosophies claim. Instead, Tantra sees the body as a vehicle for creating a connection to oneself and others.

Some of the most well-known tantric practices are yoga, pranayama, meditation, mantras, and visualizations. Tantric meditation is practiced to cultivate focus, concentration, and awareness of the present moment. So, how is tantric meditation different from other types of meditation?

 

Tantric Meditation

A key element of the broader Tantra philosophy is tantric meditation.  Tantric meditation is entirely dependent on energy, as Tantra is the philosophy and study of energy.  For people accustomed to meditation techniques designed to symbolize an empty mind, this is something entirely new. 

Various energy forms and characteristics, including sounds, colors, mantras, yantras, vibrations, visualizations, and kundalini force, are used in tantric meditation. All of it serves this spiritual practice to produce profoundly altering effects on the human mind and body.  

Every form of energy creates a resonance inside of us that might produce unique and powerful outcomes. After all, a tantric meditation is a very personal experience that can feel very different from one person to another. 

Tantric practice says that by engaging in genuine spiritual practice, we may elevate our awareness and transform our soul. In this philosophy, our only real mission as humans is to transform our spiritual journey.  

 

Key Techniques in Tantric Meditation

If you’re interested in trying your first tantric meditation, there are a few terms you’ll need to learn first. Frequency and the way these techniques are applied in tantric meditation can differ from one teacher to another, yet they will result in valuable experiences while practicing this type of meditation. 

 

Breathwork 

Also known as Pranayama, breathwork refers to the conscious breathing that awakens energy within us. Breathwork is a foundational practice in tantric meditation that uses conscious breathing techniques to regulate energy, calm the mind, and connect the body to the present moment. 

By shifting the rhythm, depth, and direction of the breath, you can activate the nervous system, release emotional blockages, and create space for more profound awareness and inner stillness. In tantric practices, breath becomes a guide and a gateway to help you anchor in the present moment. 

 

Mantras and Mudras 

In tantric meditation, mantras and mudras are powerful tools used to focus the mind, awaken subtle energy, and create a sacred inner space. A mantra is a sacred sound, word, or phrase repeated during meditation to help concentrate the mind and align with specific vibrational qualities.

Mudras, on the other hand, are symbolic hand gestures that direct the flow of energy in the body. Each mudra forms an energetic circuit, helping to reinforce the intention of your meditation. Together, mantras and mudras create a multi-sensory meditation experience of sound, vibration, breath, and body, all weaving together to support your transformation.

 

Visualizations 

Visualization involves forming mental images during meditation to direct focus and energy. Rather than emptying the mind, tantric practice often fills it intentionally with sacred forms, light, or energy centers to weave body, mind, and spirit together.

This might be tricky for those who have never tried a similar exercise before. However, visualizations can really be powerful even when used outside the meditation. Use visualizations that matter to you and that seem most natural. 

 

Energy Awareness

Energy awareness is something that will depend solely on the person doing the tantric meditation. You will want to allow yourself to feel any sensations arising during the meditation. Tantra teaches to allow anything to express itself through the body, whether we see it as a positive or negative sensation. 

 

Benefits of Tantric Meditation

There are many benefits to practicing tantric meditation. The more often you practice it, the more you will become aware of all these perks. Tantric meditation helps you feel your emotions fully without judgment. This is something we often avoid in daily life, but having a practice that allows us to explore our emotions can improve our overall well-being. 

Through breathwork, visualization, and energy practices, buried emotions like grief, anger, shame, or fear can gently surface and move through the body. You might cry during a practice, feel warmth in your chest, or release tension from your gut. Instead of analyzing emotions mentally, Tantra teaches you to feel and liberate them somatically, which can lead to deep healing over time.

Tantra emphasizes radical presence. It asks you to slow down, tune in, and listen to your inner world. Over time, this technique helps form a more honest, compassionate relationship with yourself. You become more attuned to your needs, boundaries, and desires. 

This self-awareness naturally translates into relationships. You may find yourself communicating more openly, holding space for others more patiently, or connecting more deeply, whether platonically, romantically, or sexually.

 

Work with a Trusted Tantric Practitioner

To get the most out of Tantra, work with a skilled practitioner. After all, tantric massage is not just a regular massage. It requires additional knowledge and experience that other meditation teachers might not possess. If you prefer, you can also try tantric meditation at home on your own. The results can help you decide whether this practice is something you’d like to continue doing in the future. With time, you can join other meditation groups with tantric practices and make the most of this ancient yogic tradition.

 

Tantric Sex Best Practices: Breathing, Desire & Arousal

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Silent Divorce Trend: Living Together, Growing Apart

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Silent Divorce Trend: Living Together, Growing Apart

 

You probably know what silent divorce stands for; you just weren’t familiar with the name. Silent divorce refers to a married couple who live together yet are not emotionally connected anymore. The reasons for staying together can vary from finances to not being willing to make such a change in your life. Whatever it is, there has been a rise in silent divorces across the US. 

Although it is becoming more common, we’re rarely talking about silent divorce. It is taboo, resulting in a lack of support for people experiencing it. What are your options if you’re in a silent divorce? How can you ensure you feel supported throughout this experience? Let’s explore it together. 

 

What Is a Silent Divorce?

Silent divorce differs from the traditional divorce concept you have in mind. Both have the same or similar causes, yet their direction is not the same. Being in a silent divorce doesn’t imply that the couple is initiating a legal divorce. So, what is a silent divorce?

It is a phase of a marriage in which both partners have lost emotional connection to each other, including physical intimacy, and still live together. Unlike many misconceptions, silent divorce has nothing to do with cheating. The phase your marriage is in has nothing to do with the third person. It is just a result of an emotional distance between you and your spouse. ‘

 

“I see many clients who indicate they feel like they are a roommate instead of a partner,” indicates Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, owner of Life Coaching and Therapy.

“This issue has become more commonplace since the COVID-19 pandemic and continues to be a leading problem among couples today,” adds Pasciucco. 

 

This emotional distance includes mental and often physical disengagement. It can show up as a lack of interest in your partner’s activities, emotions, or whereabouts. Couples going through a silent divorce can also experience a lack of communication, shared goals, and engagement in each other’s lives in general. 

 

Common Causes of Silent Divorce

While each marriage is unique, we can identify certain factors that commonly lead to silent divorces. One of the most common reasons for a silent divorce is emotional neglect. Both partners are neglecting each other and are not interested in each other’s emotional needs. They are not behaving this way to hurt each other or to prove a point. Emotional neglect is two-directional and is a result of a lack of interest in each other, not an external factor. 

Almost all silent divorces are characterized by poor communication habits. This doesn’t have to imply that the couple was communicating poorly prior to this phase. On the contrary, the couple could have been close before, sharing secrets and talking about each other’s emotions and personal experiences. 

Another cause of silent divorce is unresolved conflicts or resentment. For whatever reason, the couple hasn’t worked on these issues, or they haven’t found an efficient solution. Over time, this situation caused the couple to grow apart and cease functioning as a team. 

Also, life transitions such as children, aging parents, and career shifts can lead to silent divorce. You may have different views on these topics, or you may have changed over the years due to these events. 

 

The Hidden Impact of Silent Divorce 

Just because the emotional distance is mutual, it doesn’t make it a pleasant experience. It can be quite challenging not to be intimate with the person who used to mean everything to you. It takes time to get used to the new dynamics in the house, and you may both find it difficult to adapt. 

There could be a variety of feelings, including anxiety, loneliness, and low self-esteem. You might worry about how your behavior affects your children and other family members. Over time, you may experience some health symptoms, particularly in relation to your physical and mental well-being. Because of this, it’s critical to get help before you feel overburdened. 

During this time, speaking with a reputable mental health therapist can make you feel more supported. Therapy can also make you more aware of what is in your control and what is not, which is especially important if you have kids.

Keep in mind that, although a silent divorce is a better alternative than marriage with a lot of arguing and stress, it is not the best solution for either of you. Staying together because of financial issues or family stability can backfire emotionally and create more damage than good for everyone involved. 

 

Are You in a Silent Divorce?

If you’re uncertain whether your marriage is going through a silent divorce or something else, there is a quick self-assessment exercise you can do to find out. The exercise consists of a list of questions or indicators that you can answer. Your spouse is not required to do this exercise with you. 

Ask yourself the following questions to assess your marriage situation: 

  • Do you feel more like roommates than lovers?
  • Do you avoid meaningful conversations?
  • Is there emotional or physical intimacy?
  • Do you feel you must hide things from them, as they wouldn’t want to be disturbed? 

You can answer these questions in writing or use them to think about the current situation. You can share this list of questions and your answers with your partner if you think it will help.

 

Conclusion

It will depend on you two as to how your situation develops in the future. You might both decide to seek marital counseling and work on the underlying problems or conflicts that have been present for years. You might choose to live apart to figure out what you want. Some couples decide to try reconnecting through shared activities before thinking about separating or divorcing. 

During this experience, it’s crucial to take care of yourself. Doing your best to save or end your marriage shouldn’t cost you your well-being. If you have kids, they should see that their parents are emotionally stable even in difficult times. Being true to yourself will lead you to the best option, whether that’s staying together or divorcing. Lastly, be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. The same goes for your spouse. You can only function as a team, even in the final act, when both of you prioritize your personal needs. Prioritize yourself today by scheduling a session. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Disadvantages of Male Circumcision to a Woman: Nerve Endings + Beyond

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Disadvantages of Male Circumcision to a Woman: Nerve Endings + Beyond

 

The disadvantages of male circumcision to a woman might not be something we hear about often, but it’s a real and valid conversation — especially when it comes to intimacy, pleasure, and connection.

Today, we’re diving into how male circumcision can affect women’s sexual experience and emotional bond with their partners.

Yep, we’re going there — because you deserve to have all the info, and I’m here to keep it honest (and judgment-free).

This isn’t about blaming anyone who is circumcised — it’s about understanding our bodies, our partners, and making intimacy better for everyone involved.

Circumcision can reduce sensitivity in the penis due to the removal of the foreskin, which contains thousands of nerve endings. That reduced sensitivity can sometimes mean less natural friction and less stimulation — not just for him, but for you too.

Some women report a difference in lubrication, rhythm, or arousal with circumcised partners. Others feel like something’s missing, but can’t quite put their finger on it (pun only kind of intended).

None of this means things can’t be amazing — but awareness gives us tools to explore, adjust, and communicate better.

So if you’ve ever felt like something’s just a little “off” during intimacy, or you’re just curious to know more, stick around. You might just have an “aha!” moment today.

Let’s open the door to better understanding and even better connection.

 

Stiff: Erectile Dysfunction Cure Video

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Why Men Need Sex and What Drives Their Desire?

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Why Men Need Sex and What Drives Their Desire?

 

Many stereotypes exist around sexuality, and learning why men need sex can help you learn all about male sexuality. Is it true that they need more sex than women, or is this a myth we’ve been telling ourselves as a society? Do men and women seek the same when engaging in sexual activities?

Instead of simply supporting or going against this claim, we’ve decided to dig deeper to understand what drives male sexuality. Whatever your sexual identity or orientation is, you can benefit from this article. It will help you understand the men in your life, whether friends, romantic partners, or family members, and how they go about in this area. 

 

The Biology Behind Male Desire

All genders have testosterone to some extent. However, in males, the testicles produce testosterone, the primary male sex hormone. Testosterone is crucial for developing male characteristics like muscle growth, body hair, a deeper voice, and sexual desire. 

Testosterone is responsible for several actions in male bodies:

  • Stimulates sexual desire
  • Supports erectile function
  • Affects sexual thoughts and fantasies
  • Drives morning erections

When talking about sexual desire, also known as libido, it’s important to highlight that it’s also influenced by emotional connection, stress levels, mental health, relationship quality, and life circumstances. This influence is what explains the fact that even though all men have testosterone, they don’t feel an equal level of sexual desire. 

In other words, just because someone is a man doesn’t mean they will have an immense libido. One of the common misconceptions about sexual desire is that it’s fixed. Your sexual desire can decrease and increase depending on the above-mentioned factors. If you need help with your performance, get STIFF. 

You might notice you had a strong libido last year when you started your new job and felt excited about this new chapter in your life. That level of sexual desire could decrease as soon as you start feeling overwhelmed with job responsibilities. Although every person is different, there are certain factors that can explain low or high libido. 

 

Emotional and Psychological Drivers

For men and women, sex is a form of emotional connection. We seek it when we want to feel closer to someone or when we feel attracted to a new person we’ve met. Especially in long relationships, sex becomes a form of connection between two partners rather than just a physical act. 

For many men, sex is a way to seek love and validation. Whether in a relationship or not, men see physical intimacy as emotional reassurance. It can help them feel more desirable or loved, connected to someone they also find important, safe, and so much more. 

 

Self-Esteem and Masculinity

Sex can also benefit a man’s confidence and boost his self-worth. The inability to engage in sexual activity, whether with their romantic partner or with individuals they are seeing, can negatively impact their self-perception. 

In most cases, self-esteem and masculinity are the same for men. People around them shape their self-worth. If other people see them as masculine, strong, and sexy, their self-esteem grows. If they are not perceived that way, they will probably struggle with self-worth issues. This is one of the crucial differences between male and female sexuality. 

Cultural and societal pressures contribute to various notions. For example, men are expected to constantly be ready for sex and to be good at it. They are still seen as hunters, especially by other men. In most cases, these are their friends, brothers, and often, fathers. 

From an early age, boys are taught to be tough, not to cry, and never to be afraid. Masculinity is being awarded so early in life that when they grow up, most of them still follow the same rules. It’s not uncommon for men to be advised to get over someone they love by having sex with another person. 

However, this societal pressure doesn’t have realistic expectations. Men seek sex for more than just enjoyment and to be viewed as manly; they are emotional creatures. 

 

Stress Relief and Mood Regulation

Of course, we can’t talk about sexuality without mentioning the psychological benefits of sex. The focus isn’t on whether men need sex more than women. Sex can have a positive impact on how you deal with stress and regulate your mood.  (dopamine, oxytocin, stress reduction).

During sex, and especially orgasm, your brain releases a powerful cocktail of chemicals. These chemicals are dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Dopamine boosts pleasure, oxytocin strengthens bonding, and endorphins elevate your mood and reduce stress. This doesn’t mean that you should have sex all the time just to release these chemicals. It simply implies that having a healthy approach to your own sexuality can be gratifying in so many ways. 

 

Societal Conditioning 

We’ve mentioned a bit of societal pressure above. Being such a huge factor in male sexuality, it deserves more explanation. In most cultures, boys and girls are raised very differently. When they grow up, they look to meet the expectations others have of them. 

One such expectation is that men are sexually driven all the time. They should always be ready for sex and perform at their best. This is why issues with erections are never talked about as openly as issues that women may face (low libido, dry vagina, etc.). 

 

Therapy for Men

Because of societal conditioning, men will be more reluctant to seek romantic or sexual guidance from a therapist. For most men, talking to a professional would mean admitting they have a problem with their sexuality, which would affect their ego immediately. However, not all men are the same. 

Those who start therapy to work on their relationship or sexuality become more aware of the factors that impact their overall well-being and start prioritizing their desires and expectations over someone else’s. They become more relaxed and comfortable with themselves, which also helps them feel better with their sexuality. 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

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Importance of Listening Skills: The Key to Effective Communication

 

You’ll hear everyone talking about how to speak properly and keep others engaged, yet we rarely talk about the importance of listening skills. Talking and listening are integral aspects of effective communication. You can’t be a successful and efficient communicator if you don’t know how to listen properly when someone else is talking. 

Listening can help you understand the other person better and connect with others on a more meaningful level. Learn how to develop these skills and improve relationships in your private and professional life. 

 

What Are Listening Skills?

When people talk about listening, they often confuse it with hearing, yet hearing someone speak doesn’t imply you’re listening to them. Active listening consists of four components:

  • Attention: Are you paying attention to what is being said?
  • Understanding: Are you able to mentally process what is being said?
  • Response: Are you able to respond in a way that shows your engagement?
  • Retention: Are you able to remember key points from the conversation? 

A great example of passive listening is when students listen to their professors. Your professor could talk for an hour, yet you are not paying attention to everything they are saying. Listening requires paying attention and understanding what is being said, while hearing requires only allowing the speaker to say something and you to hear it. 

 

Why Listening Skills Matter in Communication

Listening skills are essential for connecting with everyone in your life. Even a random person on the street asking you a question can benefit from your listening skills. Not paying attention to their question can lead to incorrect answers, misunderstandings, and conflicts. 

You’ve probably heard that communication is key for every relationship. That means that strengthening your listening skills will help you with your coworkers and romantic partner. 

 

Builds Trust and Empathy

Do you remember the last time you shared something personal with your best friend, and you felt such relief when you realized how much they understood you? Such an experience is a sign that your friend has excellent listening skills. Listening to someone makes them feel seen and heard by you.

It fosters trust and empathy. Instead of only focusing on what you want to say, pay attention to what others are telling you. Show interest. Ask them questions. Most relationships suffer because partners are unable to communicate well with each other. In most cases, they both know how to talk; yet the listening part is what makes the relationship truly successful. 

 

Reduces Misunderstandings

When we pay attention to what the other person is telling us, we minimize the possibility of misunderstandings. When you don’t listen, assumptions start to arise. You start thinking that your partner is avoiding spending time with you when, in reality, they are working long hours. 

Misunderstandings can also happen at work. If you don’t actively listen to your colleagues and superiors, your performance may suffer, and you may not be able to advance in your career. That is why it’s essential to make an effort to actively listen and engage. Start by ensuring you can easily focus on the other person and eliminate potential distractions. 

 

Enhances Problem Solving and Collaboration

Listening is a foundation for teamwork. Whether you’re born in a big family or work in a team, listening to others is essential. It can help you get to know people better and also boost your problem-solving skills. By understanding someone else’s perspective, it becomes easier to suggest effective solutions.

Also, listening is a key element in collaboration. You might work on a large project and need to coordinate activities with your teammates. The situation can become an issue if you struggle to listen to what they are sharing about the project. 

 

Improves Leadership and Influence

All great leaders are great listeners as well. They will be more respected by their employees because they will understand them better. A leader who doesn’t listen to their employees cannot be an efficient boss. They will overlook challenges and issues their employees are facing because they don’t pay attention. 

On the other hand, leaders who listen will have more successful teams. They will know what their team needs and provide them with whatever it takes to be more efficient. A successful leader knows that listening is a form of emotional intelligence, and they use their time to listen to others, not just to talk. 

 

How to Improve Your Listening Skills

If you’re not skilled in listening, don’t worry. As with any skill, you can learn it over time. First, it’s important to understand which factors are impacting your inability to listen. You might get distracted easily or not have enough patience to listen to someone else talking. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself, as knowing the reasons could help you become a better listener. Recognizing the importance of listening skills is the first step toward improving them and becoming more present in your conversations.

 

Being Present

When someone starts talking, decide to listen to them. Set aside everything you’re doing or thinking about and give them your undivided attention. If something is distracting you, suggest moving to another location or postponing the conversation for the moment so that you’ll both be able to communicate.

 

Asking Questions and Paraphrasing

If you’re not sure if you understood correctly, ask them to clarify. You can paraphrase what they said to see if you agree. Try saying, “What you’re saying is …” or ask, “What did you mean when you said _____?”

 

Reflecting

We all talk to each other because of our need for connection, regardless of the environment. That is why reflection is such a key factor in active listening and highlights the importance of listening skills in building meaningful conversations. Once the person has stopped talking, reflect on what has been said. Show support or comprehension by reflecting on their words before speaking on what you want to share. Even though you might continue talking about the same topic, ignoring what was said can make the other person feel unheard.

 

Don’t Interrupt

Interrupting is something you should avoid unless it’s necessary. Instead, wait until the speaker has finished their thought. In almost all scenarios, interruption is considered a rude act, and it can even harm the communication flow. When you feel the urge to interrupt, remind yourself to wait. After all, patience and respect are key characteristics of outstanding communicators. 

If you start working on your listening skills, you will notice improvements instantly. You can improve your relationships by using every conversation to become a better listener. 

Start your journey here.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.