Lesbian Couples Therapy

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Lesbian Couples Therapy: How It Can Strengthen Your Relationship

 

If you’re looking for tips on how to choose the best lesbian couples therapy for you and your significant other, we’ll share with you everything you need to keep in mind. From choosing a therapist to preparing for your first session, this blog will help you succeed. 

 

Reasons to Seek Lesbian Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are seeking a therapist to help you strengthen your relationship, you might consider going to a conventional therapist. However, keep in mind that a therapist without previous work with lesbian couples might be insufficient for you. This is because they could be unaware of the unique challenges a lesbian couple could face, whether it’s among partners, in the family, or in society.

Find a therapist who treats clients like you; check their reviews! The therapist’s knowledge and skills on what your contextual world is will help you and your partner with not explaining and teaching the therapist beyond heterosocial norms. 

Here are the most common reasons why a lesbian couple would seek therapy:

  • Communication and conflict resolution
  • Intimacy and emotional connection
  • Identity and societal pressures
  • Life transitions and external stressors
  • Lesbian-specific relationship dynamics

 

How to Prepare for Lesbian Couples Therapy

Even if you still need time to search for the best therapist or decide whether that’s the best solution, there are certain things you can do as a couple to work on issues within your relationship. 

 

Talk About Each Other’s Feelings

It is alright if you or your partner is experiencing grief, hurt, frustration, or any other emotion. Recognizing these emotions allows you both to provide each other with what you need. Oftentimes, conflicts arise when we assume how the other partner is feeling and act or say in a the wrong way.

When and where you both feel comfortable, share your feelings and needs. Don’t interrupt each other when speaking. If any of you find it difficult, assign a certain amount of time for each of you to speak. Asking her questions will help you understand her better if you’re unsure.

 

Respect Her Perspective

Oftentimes, we’ll focus only on the facts and search for the truth. Instead of doing that, remember that each person has a unique perspective on a certain event. Without arguing over who is right, you can get to know each other better. 

Even if your perspective is different, allow your partner to share hers. Learning how you both perceive and experience situations can help you build a stronger relationship. 

 

Learn Each Other’s Love Language

In all relationships, many conflicts arise because we are unable to give each other what we need. This might happen because of misunderstandings, external factors or simply because you’re not aware of each other’s love language. 

Love languages refer to our preferred way to give and receive love. This can be through words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. 

 

Don’t Forget About Physical Intimacy

You need to work on all aspects of your relationship, not just communication. Working on physical intimacy is essential. The term can mean different things to different people. For instance, your partner might need more hugs or cuddles before sleep, while you will want more sexual activity during the week to keep things spicy.

 

Spend Time with Mutual Friends

Spending time with friends can help you feel more accepted, loved, and protected. Beyond that, it reminds you both who is in your community and who matters. This can be quite beneficial if you don’t feel understood by your family or coworkers. 

Time spent with friends can also meet some of the needs that your partner can’t. For instance, you might be working a lot, and you don’t have time for a wild night out. If you decide to go out with friends, you can go to bed early, and your partner can have a great time dancing and talking to people you both love.  

 

How to Choose the Right Lesbian Couples Therapist

Before you just schedule an appointment with the first therapist you find online, make sure you check a few things first. If you’ve found a therapist online, you can find their experience and areas of expertise there as well. 

If you can’t find that information online or you’re seeing a therapist in person, you can ask them to send it to you before you schedule the first session. Once you and your partner have decided on one option, make sure you also keep alternative options if the first person doesn’t seem like a right fit after the session. 

It would be helpful to hear from past clients about what makes this therapist good, so read their reviews on Google. After all, even if a person is a lesbian couple therapist, they might not feel like the right fit due to their approach, personality, or something else. 

If you have any questions or concerns, it’s best to address them before or during your first session. Any technical details like price, insurance coverage, methods, and approaches should be discussed during your first interaction.

If, for whatever reason, you and your partner decide to look for another therapist, you’d better do it sooner rather than later. These steps will save you time and energy, and you won’t have to repeat the same information to another professional. 

 

Final Words

Therapy can help you strengthen the positive parts of your relationship and work on the parts that typically end in discussion. Being in a relationship is not easy, and it requires significant effort. Addressing unique challenges that lesbian couples face can help you heal from them and reconnect with your romantic partner.

Lesbian couples therapy can help you walk down that healing path together and lean on each other when times are tough. As time passes, you will both see how your relationship is developing and be encouraged to celebrate that! 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is the Meaning of Divorce

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What Is the Meaning of Divorce + What to Expect

 

Married or not, you’ve probably wondered one or more times about the meaning of divorce. How do you know when you should consider ending your marriage? What should you do if you’ve decided to divorce your spouse? If you ever find yourself in this situation, these and many other questions might be on your mind.

However, before you even step into the commitment of marriage, it would be worth learning more about divorce. Understanding why some couples divorce can highlight areas to focus on for a lasting marriage.

 

Common Reasons for Divorce

Of course, each marriage is unique, and it can end for a unique reason. However, there are certain reasons that marital counselors and divorce lawyers always refer to when talking about most of their clients. Most people think infidelity is the main cause of divorce, but other things can hurt your marriage and end it. 

 

Lack of Communication

All issues begin in marriage when a lack of communication occurs. Regardless of the reason for that lack of communication, you seem to focus on one thing and your spouse on another. You will potentially start making up a story on how they feel and what they need. Successful married couples often agree that communication and effort are key to lasting relationships.

 

Financial Issues

Financial issues are linked to stress and a range of negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, guilt, frustration, and jealousy. Having financial issues in marriage can lead to blame instead of teamwork in finding solutions. As fear overcomes them, they may see each other as enemies and seek divorce. 

 

Infidelity 

Cheating is one of the most profound wounds of marriage, and it’s not just because there is another person involved in your intimate relationship. If you’ve been cheated on, you will probably have a difficult time trusting your partner, even with little things. Furthermore, it might lead to self-esteem issues and questioning whether or not you are attractive or intriguing enough for your spouse. The best way to get rid of all these doubts is by communicating them with your partner and learning the real reason why they cheated. In a complex situation like this one, it’s also important to discuss your mutual needs for security, love, and understanding. 

 

Growing Apart

When you marry, you hope that you and your partner will eternally be in love and grow old together. However, sometimes couples grow apart, and there is nothing you can do to force yourself to fall in love with your partner again. You may have had different experiences or learned different things from the same ones, making you incompatible. For instance, your partner might have stayed exactly the same person they were ten years ago, while you have changed and need different things or a deeper level of intimacy they cannot provide you with. 

 

Before the Divorce 

Deciding to divorce your spouse should not be a quick decision. If this is the first argument you had as a married couple, don’t even think about divorce unless the damage is unrepairable. Marriage consists of both good and bad moments. The key to a happy marriage is staying authentic and transparent through the tough times. 

Another piece of advice would be to talk to an expert on marital issues before you decide to divorce. Talking to a MFT (marriage and family therapist) can help you both listen to each other better and understand what is causing issues between you. As you share information about your marriage with a therapist, they will be able to provide you with a set of tools to strengthen the areas lacking. 

Even if you’re both certain that you want to end your marriage, having such guidance can help you make this process less painful and stressful. Given that divorce is one of the most stressful situations, any assistance will be greatly appreciated by both parties. 

 

Things to Avoid When Getting a Divorce

<p>Remember, a divorce is not something you can complete in a single day. It’s a process that often lasts longer than expected, and maybe you and your partner will need some time apart before you proceed with all of it. Whatever your situation might be, there are a few things that can make this process unnecessarily complicated or stressful.

Instead of telling everyone you’re divorcing and who your ex-spouse is, keep quiet. Remind yourself that this is an intimate moment. If you need to talk to someone, make sure it’s people you’re closest to and who have your best interest at heart. </span>

Secondly, instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong with your partner, focus on your needs. The split will not be an easy period for you, so ensuring you’re taking care of yourself is essential. You might need more time alone or want to journal your thoughts and emotions. Whatever it is, make sure you provide yourself with anything that will give you strength in these difficult moments. Focusing on yourself instead of your spouse can help you make the right decision at any moment and avoid getting hurt. If you need additional support, consider reaching out to a therapist to have space and time to focus on your well-being. They will also help you adjust to life without your spouse and all the changes after the divorce. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do You Ask for Help as a Man?

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How Do You Ask for Help as a Man? Steps to Improve Your Life!

 

If you’ve ever wondered, “how do you ask for help,” you’re not alone. In this video, I’ll teach you how to ask for help without fear or hesitation.

Many men struggle with this because of societal expectations that pressure them to always be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. However, learning how to ask for help is a vital step toward personal growth.

Whether it’s for your career, relationships, or emotional well-being, knowing how to ask for help can transform your life in ways you might not expect. The truth is, asking for help can be empowering and is a key part of self-care and achieving success.

In this video, I’ll guide you through the steps to ask for help with confidence, clarity, and purpose.

We’ll explore different ways to reach out to others, whether it’s to your friends, family, or colleagues, and how to approach them with the vulnerability necessary to make a meaningful connection. It’s about being open, honest, and understanding that you don’t need to do it all alone.

Asking for help isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about recognizing your limits and building stronger, more supportive relationships. It’s also a sign of strength, not weakness, because it shows that you value your well-being and the people around you.

Plus, we’ll discuss how asking for help doesn’t just ease your burdens—it strengthens connections and leads to real progress.

When you ask for help, you open doors to new opportunities, solutions, and shared experiences. Don’t miss out on the power of support—watch now and take the first step toward becoming the best version of yourself!

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Let Go Of Someone

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How to Let Go Of Someone + Say Bye to Affair Partner

 

For whatever reason, you might have found yourself in a love triangle and are now thinking about how to let go of someone and work on your marriage. Even when society talks about marriage affairs, we do it in a very judging way, suggesting the person end the affair, admit to their spouse, and divorce them afterward.

Not all marriages are the same, and not all marriage affairs are the same. As big as our need to put a label on things is, the truth is that every situation is different. Your reasons for falling for someone outside your marriage may differ from your friend’s or spouse’s perspective, which may also contrast with the majority’s view.

That is why we’ve decided to provide support if you’re currently considering letting go of the person you were seeing. Despite your future plans, you’ll want to end this relationship well and move on. 

 

Reasons to End an Affair

There are many reasons why you might end an affair, from guilt to not finding this person intriguing anymore. If you’ve seen the movie Babygirl with Nicole Kidman and Antonio Banderas, which is in movie theaters right now, you might have noticed a different perspective on this matter.

In the movie, she does not start the affair because she is bored with her marriage. She is not seen by him, and she doesn’t feel encouraged to show him her other side, which is kept hidden throughout all the years of their marriage. This leads to activating this part of her with a younger stranger, who starts working in her company as an intern. He teases her, plays with her, and then seduces her. 

Other reasons may include differing relationship goals, especially if the other person

is unmarried. During this experience, you might also find out that you want to work more on your marriage. Your marriage is important, and the affair made you want to work harder to improve it.

 

I Cheated… Now What? 

If you’ve ended your affair and are not certain about the next steps to take, let’s look at your options together. First, there is this giant question of whether or not to admit the affair to your spouse. The answer will depend entirely on you; however, keep in mind that the guilt can creep into your life, affect your marriage, your health, and so much more. It is not an effortless thing to carry around, especially if you are devoted to the idea of saving your marriage.

If you decide to tell your spouse, you will want to do it with your heart open, using kind words and truly asking for forgiveness. Tell them the reason you decided to start an affair and share everything this decision has taught you. For instance, you might say that you realized how it’s been a really long time since the two of you tried something new in bed or spent time alone without kids.

Most importantly, respect your spouse’s needs. They might need time to think about it, or they might get outraged at you. Whatever it is, be patient. It’s not an easy thing to hear, and they might need some time to process all of it. If you want to save your marriage, you will have to be mindful of how your spouse feels and what they need. You might feel the need to overexplain yourself or ask for forgiveness several times, yet try not to do that. Respecting them means that you can give them exactly what they need during this process.

 

A Path to Healing

Oftentimes, a person having an affair will be so focused on analyzing their spouse’s behaviors, emotions, and words that they’ll forget about themselves. You have every right to take care of yourself during this process. Such care can mean different things, from starting individual therapy to journaling.

Even if the affair means nothing to you anymore, it’s still worth revisiting these momen

ts and asking yourself certain questions. What made you say yes to this adventure? What did you learn from it? Is there something you need to forgive yourself? Your healing path doesn’t have to depend on whether or not your spouse wants the same thing as you.

Once you’re both on the same page, consider seeking marital counseling. There are many things here that need to be addressed for you both to properly heal from this experience. Otherwise, emotions like guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, and doubts can appear in different situations and cause arguments between the two of you.

Establishing trust after the affair is more important than anything else. If you’re unable to trust each other with time, it can make the marriage impossible. These are the things an expert in marriage therapy can help you with.

Many couples have recovered from affairs and have become even more connected after it. A therapist will provide you with space to discuss your fears and doubts instead of ignoring them or treating them superficially. They will help you listen to each other and truly see the other person’s perspective. Soon, you’ll both feel better and learn from this experience instead of being afraid of it. If you love someone, you will want to move on and be excited about your future together.

If this all feels confusing, maybe it’s time to schedule a session. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Does Demisexual Mean?

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What Does Demisexual Mean & Am I Demisexual?

 

If you Googled ‘What does demisexual mean’ and ended up here, you’re in the right place. In this article, we will explain the meaning of demisexuality, talk about its characteristics, and discuss everything else that is demisexual-related. 

A demisexual person experiences sexual attraction only after developing an emotional bond with another person. You probably came to this page because you are keen to learn more about demisexuality, believe you may be demisexual, or know someone who is. Whichever the reason, you will find all your answers below. 

 

Demisexuality Explained

Demisexuality, to put it simply, is a sexual orientation in which emotional connection takes precedence over sexual desire. Not every emotional bond leads to sexual attraction. For demisexuals, emotions are the foundation of sexual connection. This phenomenon leads to them experiencing sexual attraction towards someone much rarer than other non-demisexual people. 

Because they need to be emotionally involved first, many might consider them asexual. In some cases, demisexuals might even call them asexual because of the rarity of such occasions. Still, it’s critical to understand demisexuality, especially when you want to connect with someone and explain to them your perspective on relationships and connections. 

Another point to distinguish demisexuals from non-demisexual people is their attitude toward sex while dating. Non-demisexual people will follow a set of rules or recommendations when it comes to sex. It might be waiting for the third date or learning more about the person before having sex. 

On the other hand, demisexual people don’t wait for society or themselves to impose certain requirements. In their case, there is a lack of sexual desire until they feel emotionally connected to the person they are dating. If they don’t feel emotionally compatible, they won’t want sex, regardless of appearance. 

 

Are You Demisexual?

Now, you might have an idea why you or many other people feel confused when it comes to defining demisexuality. So, if you’re still not certain whether you or someone close to you is demisexual, answering these questions might help:

  • Do you lack an interest in having one-night stands or casual flings with other people? 
  • Have you ever felt attracted to someone after having a deep conversation with them, something you didn’t feel before that conversation? 
  • Did most of the individuals you found sexually attractive or engaged in sexual activity have close friendships with you? 
  • Do people around you sometimes say you’re playing hard to get while you’re actually just not interested?

If you responded positively to these questions, it means that you’re probably demisexual. If you’re not a fan of labels, that’s completely fine, too. Labels typically help identify ourselves and introduce that part of us to other people. Understanding yourself better can help you find the people you can have that connection to more easily. 

 

How Demisexual People Connect with Others

If you’re a demisexual or you’re dating someone who is, it makes sense to learn the pathway to establishing a significant relationship with them. Although there are many similarities with dating non-demisexual people, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Firstly, don’t feel pressured into having sex if you don’t feel ready. People who don’t understand demisexuality might have certain expectations of you. It is up to you to remind yourself that you must first establish the emotional connection and that this process is perfectly normal for many people. 

Secondly, invest in people you have shared interests with, as it will help you connect with them on a deeper level. Having the same hobby, working in the same industry, or growing up in the same city can all contribute to the development of an emotional bond with that person. Otherwise, you might feel a lack of encouragement to go on dates if your experiences have been boring. 

Thirdly, it might be a beneficial idea to connect with other demisexual people. If you live in a bigger city, maybe there’s even an online community with people who feel the same way you do about dating and romantic relationships. Going out with them can make you feel understood without having to explain yourself too much. Furthermore, it can be a connective topic to bond over. 

Lastly, remind yourself of all the perks of being demisexual. If you’re unable to find like-minded people, it can become discouraging to date. However, demisexuality can have several benefits, and remembering that can give you motivation to meet new people. For instance, your relationship could last longer because you’ve established strong foundations for it before taking it to the next level. Also, you won’t waste time waiting to see if the sex is good. Because emotional connection is more important to you in the beginning, you will be aware of everything this person has to offer you and can determine whether they are the right fit for you. 

 

Final Words

Demisexual or not, your sexuality is who you are, and you should celebrate yourself. Surround yourself with people who support you, and you will find it easier to go on dates that are precisely the type of experience you’re looking for. 

It’s also a wonderful idea to learn more about demisexuality, as there might be a lot of what you don’t know. However, if you decide to go about it, remind yourself frequently that how we feel about our sexuality and how our sexual desire arises is unique to each of us. Comparing yourself to others or forcing yourself to do something unnatural won’t help. 

Once you have a clearer idea of what matters to you, it will become easier to pursue it. In no time, you will feel more interested in dating and meeting new people, sharing interests with them, and allowing yourself to enjoy every step of each experience. After all, meeting new people is exciting, and you should make the most of it!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night?

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What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night? Secrets to Connection and Intimacy Revealed

 

What do couples really do in bed at night? It’s not just what you think. 😉

Most guys overlook the small but powerful ways to build connection before sleep.

From unwinding together to physical touch and playful intimacy, these moments create a deeper bond and keep the spark alive.

In our latest YouTube video, we’re diving into the little-known secrets of what truly makes couples feel connected at night. It’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional closeness, trust, and the small rituals that strengthen your relationship.

We’ll explore:

  • The best ways to unwind together before bed
  • How physical touch (even non-sexual) deepens intimacy
  • Fun and playful habits that keep the spark alive
  • The power of nighttime conversations for emotional connection
  • Simple rituals happy couples swear by

Want to strengthen your relationship and feel closer to your partner? Watch the full video now and discover how to make your nights more meaningful.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

What Are Words of Affirmation

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What Are Words of Affirmation & How to Use Them

 

Words of affirmation are one of the five main love languages. Besides words of affirmation, there is also physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. One person can prefer one way over another to express and receive love and appreciation, while another might prefer another love language. Love languages help us understand and support our loved ones in a more efficient way.

If you’re interested in learning words of affirmation as a love language, continue reading. We’ll explain this in detail and provide examples to help you give your loved ones inspiring words of love. 

 

Words of Affirmation as a Love Language

What does it mean if words of affirmation are your preferred love language? Firstly, it means that verbal communication is essential for you to feel positive about your relationship. While others might prefer their partners helping them out with a clean home or doing chores, you need to hear your partner expressing their love for you. In return, you probably also love telling them how much they mean to you. 

These words of affirmation bring you comfort and safety. You don’t expect them to hear you only when you’re feeling down or uncertain about your partner’s feelings for you. For you, words of affirmation help build a stronger relationship between you and the other person. It’s a way to be clear and straightforward about the importance they have in your life. Simply put, you celebrate love with words!

These words can be verbal encouragement, compliments, and affirmations. If you’re just discovering that this is your love language or your partner’s, take a look at our list of examples that can help you familiarize yourself with these phrases and use them in your daily life with your loved ones.

 

Examples of Words of Affirmation 

When talking about words of affirmation, the most common way to express appreciation is through giving compliments. However, you can also encourage them and show your love with words.

Below is the list of our favorite examples of words of affirmation:

  • You are incredibly attractive, both on the inside and outside.
  • You mean the world to me.
  • I love the way you make me laugh.
  • I appreciate everything you do for me.
  • You make my life so much better just by being in it.
  • I believe in you—you can do anything you set your mind to!
  • I’m so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished.
  • You inspire me every single day.
  • You’ve got this! I’m here to support you.
  • You are stronger than you think.
  • I love you more than words can express.
  • Being with you is my favorite part of every day.
  • You are my safe place, my home.
  • I feel so lucky to have you in my life.
  • I cherish every moment with you.
  • You are so special to me, and I never take you for granted.
  • You are enough, just as you are.
  • I admire your kindness and the way you care for others.
  • You make every day brighter with your presence.
  • The world is a better place because you’re in it.

 

How to Love Someone with Words of Affirmation 

Just because you know that your partner or a close friend prefers words of affirmation doesn’t mean that you’ll immediately be sure about the proper way to use them. When is the right time to say these loving phrases? How can you provide support and show appreciation if the person is not sitting next to you? 

Well, you can always send sweet text messages or voice notes. If your partner is having a busy day, seeing a loving, motivating message from you can help them get through it. Depending on both of your communication styles, these messages can be either short or long. You can send one of the phrases we’ve mentioned above in our list or use them as inspiration and write a longer message. Or you can even make these messages more personal by using nicknames, shared memories or dreams, or anything else that means a lot to you both. 

You can also leave little love notes on the mirror, nightstand, car, or on top of the phone. A message like ‘I love you’ can bring a smile to your partner’s face, especially if they aren’t expecting it.

When you’re complimenting them, make sure you do it genuinely. You don’t have to lie or exaggerate things. If you like their new haircut, the way that a particular shirt brings out their eyes, or how they look under the moonlight, tell them. Often in long-term relationships, couples tend to overlook compliments, thinking they’ve already expressed everything. However, hearing something positive about yourself can really boost your self-esteem and brighten up your day.  

Lastly, words of affirmation allow us to express gratitude. If your partner took care of you when you had a cold, what’s a better way to show gratitude than with words? Thanking them for being in your life shows that you recognize and appreciate their daily inspiration. 

 

Wrap Up 

Words have power, and this power can build intimate relationships that last. Making sure your partner knows how you feel about them eliminates uncertainty or confusion. When all is said, there’s no room for guessing. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day, to tell your significant other how you feel about them.

Say it today. If your partner doesn’t typically verbalize how they feel, your initiative can motivate them to do the same. Saying words of affirmation to each other every day brings you closer, reminds you of your best parts, and inspires you to grow together. Celebrating such moments through words is a wonderful way to make sure you remember them!

 

Start your journey at home with CONNECT. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Acts of Service Examples

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Acts of Service Examples You Can Start Doing Today

 

If your partner’s love language is the act of service or you simply are keen to learn more about it, you’ll want to go through the acts of service examples. Acts of service as a love language refer to doing certain activities that matter to the other person. An example can be running errands, buying them their favorite chocolate while they’re grocery shopping, or doing household chores. 

If you want to become more fluent in this love language, we’ve gathered everything you need to know about it. Get inspired by our acts of service examples and see which of them can be applied to your romantic relationships and friendships. 

 

What is an Act of Service?

Love language refers to the way we prefer to love and be loved. Besides an act of service, there is also gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you or your partner prefers the act of service as their dominant love language, you will want to familiarize yourself as much as possible with it. 

An act of service means you express your love or appreciation for another person through helpful actions instead of the other four love languages. Since this is your preferred language, you will appreciate it more if someone helps you thoughtfully rather than saying they love you or giving a hug. 

This is not to say you can only have one way you receive love. We can express love in different ways. However, one way will typically be dominant. In relationships with others, it’s important to be aware of our and their love language, as this allows us to grow and evolve together. 

 

Acts of Service List

Examples of acts of service can be quite different from person to person. For instance, you might enjoy it when your partner surprises you with a home-cooked meal after a long day at the office. Your friend, on the other hand, might prefer that their partner does all the chores if they have more spare time. 

These are some common examples of acts of service that can inspire you: 

  • Cook a meal for another person
  • Run errands for them 
  • Handle a task or chore you know they dislike
  • Surprise them with a clean home
  • Offer them a nice massage after a long day
  • Fix something you know they would use if it weren’t broken
  • Offer to drive them to work or somewhere else
  • Take care of them when they’re sick or tired
  • Offer to walk their dog for them 
  • Surprise them with a cup of coffee in the morning
  • Clean their car
  • Iron their clothes
  • Organize their closet
  • Prepare a nice bath for them
  • Pack them lunch on a busy day
  • Ask them how you can support them when they’re under stress

 

How to Give Acts of Service

If your partner’s love language is service, you understand that actions have a greater impact than words.  Below, you will find additional tips for performing acts of service. 

 

1.Express Gratitude for Support

Express gratitude to your spouse when they use your preferred language, and let them know you value it when they return the favor.  You will both feel appreciated in the relationship if you establish a pattern of showing each other love and gratitude. If acts of service are their preferred love language, enjoy the moments of their gratitude as well. Such moments can bring you closer. 

 

2.Ask About Their Preferred Acts of Service

Be specific.  Would they rather you just run that bath for them, or should you ask first?  Do they enjoy having you do the laundry yet, would rather handle the bill payment themselves?  Make sure your acts of service really serve your partner or friend. Occasionally, what we think would be best for others is not what they want at that moment.

 

3.Communication

Communication about what works for both of you is crucial in love languages.  It is important that you and your partner agree on the ways that you both like to show love.  Developing your communication skills in a partnership will come with numerous rewards.

 

4.Share What You Need

Both of you should practice asking for what you want. With time, the other person will learn which acts of service work best for you. For example, some people do not like it when you look through their drawers, while others want you to do their laundry and put it away for them. Remember that the goal is to show love and appreciation in the way your partner receives it, not to force yourself onto others.  

 

5.Don’t Compare

If your best friend and your boyfriend have a preference for acts of service, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will value the same actions. Every person is unique. Having an understanding of how to serve with love will be beneficial when meeting a new person with the same love language. However, listening carefully to them will show you what they really need from you. 

 

In Final Words

Acts of service are a wonderful way to show appreciation for other people in our lives, even if it’s not their dominant love language. If you notice your friend or family member stressed and without any spare time, offer your help. Maybe you can take their kids to school or take their clothes to the dry cleaner. Small acts like that can mean so much to someone who doesn’t have time or needs additional support in their life. 

By being supportive in that way, you not only show how much you care about this person. You help others who are in their inner circle. Being kind to each other benefits everyone around us. If you help your partner, their colleagues at work will notice they are much more relaxed. Your sister will have more time to spend with her spouse if you assist her with the children. 

If that’s the way you show love for others, you will want them to do the same for you. What’s a better way to receive it than give it to others first? 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

How Do I Talk To People?

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How Do I Talk To People at Social Gatherings?

 

Struggling to navigate social situations and wondering, “How do I talk to people?” You’re not alone!

Figuring out how to talk to people you don’t know is a huge part of socializing. Small talk can feel like a challenge, but with the right approach, it becomes much easier.

Whether you’re experiencing anxiety, feeling drained, or just not loving “peopling,” socializing can be tough. But knowing how to talk to people in a way that feels natural is a skill that can be developed.

In this video, I’ll share practical strategies for making social events more enjoyable. From knowing how to talk to someone you’ve just met to keeping conversations flowing with those you already know, you’ll learn tips to feel more comfortable and confident.

We’ll explore how body language, active listening, and conversation starters can improve how you talk to people. Plus, I’ll give advice for handling awkward silences and managing social boundaries.

If socializing feels exhausting, I’ll also discuss ways to recharge and engage with others on your own terms, without feeling drained.

You deserve to connect with others in a way that feels authentic and true to you.

Let’s dive into how you can talk to someone with confidence, clarity, and ease.

 

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Reflective Listening

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Your Guide to Reflective Listening

 

Reflective Listening goes beyond active and passive listening by incorporating repeating and paraphrasing. You’ve likely heard of active and passive listening, but have you considered this deeper approach? If these concepts are new to you, read our guide for a clearer understanding.

In this article, you will learn the benefits of reflective listening and why it is a crucial skill for any relationship.

 

Degrees of Active Listening

It helps when you actively pay attention and listen to people around you, whether it’s in your professional or personal life.

Successful communication requires as much learning how to listen as well as how to speak. 

Hearing someone speak and truly listening to them are two entirely unique things. If we’re actively listening, it means that this person has our full attention and we’re doing our best to understand what they are communicating to us. 

 

1.Repeating

Repeating is the first degree of active listening, and it refers to repeating the words you’ve heard in the conversation to make sure you understand the person correctly. It requires paying attention, remembering the words, and then saying them back to the speaker. As opposed to passive listening, repeating lets the other person know that you are paying attention and want to understand what they are saying.

 

2.Paraphrasing

By repeating, you are practically saying the exact same words to confirm the speaker’s intentions. Instead of mirroring the exact words, with paraphrasing, you choose similar words yet not the same. This approach shows the other person that you’ve resonated with the shared information. It also allows you to remember that information more easily because you use words and phrases that you connect with better.

 

3.Reflecting

At first, paraphrasing and reflecting might seem very similar. However, reflecting involves taking a moment to think about the information shared in the conversation and reflecting on it in your words. You can summarize the conversation or provide a few examples to confirm your understanding. Reflecting can be the most profound level of listening, where the listener resonates with all the conversation’s content.

 

What Is Reflective Listening?

Reflective listening is beneficial across all areas. It can help you communicate more efficiently with your new coworkers, meet your superior’s demands easily, and strengthen your romantic relationship or friendship.

Reflective listening requires a conversation. The person who is listening will speak soon to reflect on what has been said, which is very different from passive listening. For example, if your boss is explaining the details of a new project, you will want to reflect on it, ask questions, and confirm if all is clear. 

It’s also worth mentioning that reflective listening occurs in one-on-one conversations or in small groups, as it might be challenging during a business conference with 50 people. That is what makes reflective listening a valuable communication tool that helps build relationships. This intimate aspect guarantees mutual understanding and the ability to collaborate towards a shared objective, whatever it may be. 

 

Key Components of Reflective Listening

If you’re looking to become a master in reflective listening, you will have to first learn its key components. These components will help you truly listen to other people and learn from them. 

Reflective listening consists of four key components: 

  • Active listening—listening to the speaker with your full attention without any distractions 
  • Paraphrasing—repeating what the speaker said back to them, yet in your own words
  • Clarification—asking questions to ensure understanding or raising any confusion you have
  • Empathizing—acknowledging the speaker’s thoughts and emotions and taking them into account during the conversation 

 

Benefits of Reflective Listening

Obviously, there are many benefits of reflective listening, especially when compared to passive listening. When we’re dedicated to truly listening to the person talking to us, we’re able to understand their perspective and strengthen the connection with them based on the information received, both verbally and non-verbally. 

Reflective listening also strengthens trust. Knowing you are being listened to carefully encourages you to share more and actively seek opportunities to continue communicating with this person. Conversely, people who listen and think about what was said are usually the ones that others turn to for comfort, a shoulder to cry on, advice, or just to vent. 

Also, reflective listening reduces misunderstandings and conflicts. Hearing someone speak and assuming you know what they think and feel often leads to confusion and conflicts. If you’re invested, it becomes easier to have empathy for the other person. In other words, understanding their intentions, thought processes, emotions, and so much more becomes easier if you listen closely. 

That is what makes reflective listening valuable in problem-solving situations as well. Whenever a conflict arises, whether it’s at work, home, or somewhere else, using this tool can enable both sides to find common ground because they’ll have a clearer idea of why the conflict occurred in the first place. 

 

How to Practice Reflective Listening

With that in mind, you may be wondering how to start reflective listening today and reap its benefits. Once you’ve determined that you want to become better at listening to people around you, there are certain things to keep in mind to ensure you’re doing a good job. 

Firstly, whenever you need to listen to someone, make sure you’ve eliminated all the distractions. Find a comfortable place to have a conversation, turn off your phone, close the doors, and decide to focus only on the person in front of you. 

During the conversation, be mindful of nonverbal cues. Pay attention to the speaker’s hands, sitting position, eye movement, and any other detail that can fill in the picture of how they feel or what they think about the matter discussed. Also, use your nonverbal cues to show support. Look them in their eyes while they are talking and nod anytime something resonates with you.

When the other person finishes speaking, don’t just say “I understand” and end the conversation by making it about yourself instantly. Utilize this moment to contemplate the spoken words, verify their accuracy, and stimulate conversation by posing questions. This shows that you are doing your best to improve the relationship you have with that person. 

If this all feels confusing, book a session and we can help you understand it more. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Wildest Things to Do With Your Boyfriend

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Wildest Things to Do With Your Boyfriend

 

Are you looking for some of the wildest things to do with your boyfriend to spice up your relationship a bit? No matter the season, meaningful dates allow you to embrace your wild side while also celebrating your love.

Before we dive into our list of ideas, keep in mind that what is wild for one person might not be interesting for another. Think about your personalities and interests, and try to come up with the options that will become your craziest memories. We have put together a list of ideas that can help you make the best plan. These ideas will help you forget about your everyday life and focus on the fun and excitement!

1.Night in an Unusual Stay

There’s nothing wrong with booking a fancy, five-star hotel to relax and connect. However, if you’re both into something more adventurous, there are many alternatives. For example, you might want to book a night in an igloo, treehouse, yurt, cave hotel, or a boat. Any of these ideas will definitely provide you with incredible memories. Importantly, you will see another side of your partner and possibly learn something new.

While you’re there, surprise your partner with a sexy plan, such as roleplaying or outdoor sex. Who said you can do two things at once?

 

2.Fantasy Roleplay Night

Okay, we already mentioned roleplay as a suggestion to make your stay even more memorable. Yet, you can truly take your fantasy and roleplay to another level. You can plan an entire night around it. Whichever characters you want to embody that night, make sure that you think of all the details that can help you truly become this person.

Think of clothes, wigs, make-up, environment, accents, phrases, and anything else that can turn on your partner. For instance, if they’re a Star Wars fan, dress as Princess Leia, and your partner can be Han Solo for a night.

 

3.Five Senses Evening

We often forget how sensory information can be impactful, especially in seduction. How about planning an entire night around driving each other crazy by activating their five senses? You can start the evening by feeding each other with sushi or any other finger food. When feeding them, ask them to close their eyes or wear a blindfold to focus on how the food tastes.

Then, offer them a massage with an aromatic oil that will help you set the mood right. Make sure that the touch is sensual. You can even whisper something in their ear to prepare them for this adventurous night. Put on sensual music, light a few candles, and use clothes made of breathable fabrics like silk or organic cotton for a full experience.

4.Movie Director for a Night

Even if you’re not so much into movies or directing, this one is fun. Tell your partner to direct one night, and you’ll direct another. In other words, write the script with all the technical instructions on how to behave, talk, walk, and dress. Build a story that will be exciting for both of you. For instance, strangers seducing each other in a bar, having wild sex in your car in your garage, or anything else that will turn you on.

Just think about how interesting it can be to play the role that your partner has created for you and immerse yourself in their story. You can come back to this scenario anytime you need to escape from your everyday life and want to become someone else just for fun. Bonus points for recording the night and watching it later! Also, plan to use a safeword.

5.Surprise Your Partner with an Unplanned Road Trip

Who doesn’t like safe surprises? Well, pack your partner’s and your stuff and surprise them with a road trip. If you two are playful, tease them with hints along the ride. While you’re building the excitement around what’s coming, make sure you enjoy this experience too.

You can spend a night in a bed and breakfast outside the city or a hotel in a different state, depending on your preferences. After all, it’s more about surprising your partner and the ride to the location than the location itself. Being adventurous like this can introduce a new dynamic in your relationship and encourage your partner to do the same.

 

Embrace Your Wild Side

We all tend to get caught up in our daily responsibilities that are not so wild. On the contrary, our lives become very predictable, and our relationships can help us remember what excites us, how we feel when we are adventurous, and what exactly we need to bring out our wildest selves.

Oftentimes, our relationships are our safest spaces, so it’s easier to explore a side of us we don’t see so often with someone we trust. Whatever seems wild to you can be a great idea for a date or a unique experience with your partner. Whether that’s sex in public or sending sexy messages throughout the day to prepare yourself for a wild night, just do it. When you start to use these parts of you, it is encouraging to continue doing so!

Having fun is so crucial for intimacy, and we often completely forget about it. That’s why I named my book Playtime. 

We prioritize everything else that feels more aligned with our adult life; however, being wild and playful is essential!

If this is something you’ve been thinking about for a while, talk to your partner and start small if you don’t feel ready to try one of the ideas mentioned above. Send a sexy photo or practice dirty talk before sex.

Very soon, you’ll both realize how essential these moments are for your relationship. If you want to talk more about this, book a session with us or start your journey at home with kink 101. 

 

Kinky Sex: How to Get Started

Kinky Sex

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Real Female Anatomy

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You’ve Been Misled About Real Female Anatomy – Here’s the Truth!

 

Have you ever wondered what’s really going on with real female anatomy?

There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Outdated textbooks and pop culture myths often misrepresent how female bodies actually work. Many people, including women, are left with incomplete or incorrect understandings of anatomy, pleasure, and function. These misconceptions can create confusion, shame, and even interfere with healthy relationships.

As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author on female sexuality, I’m here to clear things up in just a few minutes! We’ll cover the facts most people never learned. This includes what’s missing from common anatomy diagrams, why misconceptions persist, and how understanding real female anatomy can improve everything from medical care to intimacy.

In today’s world, knowledge is power. Empower yourself with accurate information that celebrates the true diversity and beauty of female anatomy. This journey is not only about learning facts; it’s about reclaiming our narratives and understanding our bodies deeply.

Let’s set the record straight. Ready to learn the truth?

 

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

“What is the Vulva” from Playtime: A Guide To Sexual Conquests For Women

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Standing Sex Positions

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11 Best Standing Sex Positions To Elevate Pleasure, According To Sex Experts

 

Standing sex positions have become an exciting way for couples to connect physically and emotionally. Dr. Amanda Pasciucco, a leading therapist, shares her expert insights in a Women’s Health article on how standing sex can refresh and deepen your relationship.

 

Why Try Standing Sex?

Standing positions offer an adventurous change from traditional bedroom routines. Dr. Pasciucco highlights that these positions encourage greater physical closeness, requiring more flexibility and coordination. “Standing together can create a sense of vulnerability and connection,” she notes, helping couples build a stronger emotional bond. This sense of vulnerability often leads to a more authentic and deeper connection between partners.

Benefits of Standing Positions

One major advantage of standing positions is the spontaneity they bring. By breaking free from the usual patterns, couples can explore new dynamics. Dr. Amanda explains that standing positions foster better communication and physical and emotional alignment. This dynamic can deepen intimacy and strengthen trust between partners, leading to a more rewarding and fulfilling sexual experience. Standing sex can also encourage couples to become more in tune with each other’s body language, promoting mutual understanding and closeness.

Exploring New Positions

Dr. Pasciucco suggests starting with slow experimentation for couples new to standing positions. Positions like “standing doggy style” or “standing missionary” offer a variety of sensations, allowing partners to explore new forms of closeness and connection. Don’t be afraid to adjust or modify positions to find what works best. The key is to communicate openly about comfort and pleasure, allowing both partners to fully enjoy the experience.

Emotional Intimacy and Standing Positions

Standing positions are not just about the physical experience—they can also strengthen emotional intimacy. As Dr. Amanda explains, these positions require partners to stay more in tune with each other’s needs and comfort. The closeness that comes with standing sex can lead to deeper emotional connections and better communication, which are important for a healthy relationship.

Read the article in Women’s Health to learn about the 11 Best Standing Sex Positions

Conclusion

Standing positions are a fun and intimate way to spice up your relationship. With Dr. Pasciucco’s insights, couples can use standing sex as an opportunity to grow closer, both physically and emotionally. By communicating openly and exploring new positions, you can enhance your connection and bring more excitement into your intimate life. Plus, standing sex can be a great way to introduce spontaneity, trust, and variety into your sexual routine.

Author:

For more tips and insights, check out the original article on Women’s Health.

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer), PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Does Long-Distance Relationship Work? 

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Does Long-Distance Relationship Work? 

 

To be able to respond to the question ‘Does long-distance relationships work?’ we’ll first have to look into context. Some long-distance relationships work, and others don’t. 

It’s important to look closer at couples who have managed to maintain their relationship for years, no matter how far and for how long they were apart. 

What are they doing to stay in love and dedicated to their relationship? How do they keep things interesting while being apart? This article investigates what long-distance relationships need.

 

Benefits of Long-Distance Relationships

Before we explore what works and what doesn’t in this type of relationship, let’s remind us all of some valuable benefits long-distance has for a relationship. Unlike conventional relationships, you are not able to parallel play, meaning you spend time snuggled together watching TV, doing chores, or scrolling on your phones while sitting on your couch. 

With long-distance relationships (LDRs), the time you dedicate to each other is often more valuable than that of couples who live together. When you’re on a call with each other, you are interested in hearing about their day and the details. Your conversations are more dynamic and depthful because you don’t have other clues besides the information they’re giving you. 

Another thing that long-distance relationships help with is strengthening independence. Let’s admit it: we’re all guilty of falling in love with a new person, and our world starts revolving around them and their needs. With LDRs, the distance actually helps you maintain your old habits and connections. 

Knowing that your partner is not with you physically puts more focus on the need to maintain social interactions with other people and nurture your own life. 

In relation to physical intimacy, those who have lived with a partner for an extended period of time are aware of how sex can be neglected. With LDRs, you’re anticipating the arrival of your partner and often have a yearning desire to make up for the time you were apart. 

 

Factors that Make Long-Distance Relationships Work

If you’ve met the right person yet they don’t live in your city or even country, there is a way to make your long-distance relationship work. You may have been encouraged by some of your friends or family not to invest time in this relationship. I get that—as I was once a young adult who told someone not to invest in their love that was across the world. 

However, if you’re in love and you know this is your person, you just know. It doesn’t matter where they live. Fortunately, there are factors that can help you make that LDR work and transform it into one of the best experiences of your life. Isn’t that what love is about, after all—enhancing the life you have? 

 

Effective Communication

Communication is key in all relationships, especially in long-distance relationships. It is critical to understand which communication styles you both prefer, as well as how to communicate and prioritize information shared during your conversation. 

If you’re in an LDR, take some time to work on your communication strategy. Which things are unacceptable for you? Meaning, are there boundaries you have to clearly state that they may not understand? 

Similarly, which things do you need from your partner when you’re sharing something intimate or vulnerable? Do you want emotional attunement or problem solving alongside one another? 

Sharing these points can help you understand each other better and connect on a more meaningful level. Similarly, it will stop you from having arguments that could have been avoided.

 

Set Mutual Goals

Setting common goals can help you feel more like a team. This goal can be visiting each other, going on a vacation together, or ultimately moving in instead of having parallel lives. 

Whatever the goal, make sure you both are dedicated to working towards achieving it. It’s not so much about the goal as it is about the shared passion you have for something. 

This can remind you that although you’re not close to each other, you have the same goals and values for this relationship. 

These goals don’t have to be as big as vacations or spending months together. You can plan a Friday date night where you’d each go to your favorite restaurant and meet back up after for a video call. Take photos of the menu and meals so you can share later if you would like! This can help you get through a stressful week when you might not have much time for each other. 

 

Motivate Each Other to be Independent 

Despite the temptation to maintain constant connection, independence is essential in all relationships. If you notice that your partner is feeling a bit down these days, keep in mind that face-to-face interactions can help them feel a bit better. I suggest that they go meet a friend or go to the gym for a fitness class to workout alongside new people. 

It’s unrealistic for both yourself and your partner to believe that you are the only person who can help them in such a situation. Friends, colleagues, and people we meet in our everyday lives are incredibly important and can have a positive impact on how we connect with our romantic partners. 

 

Trust

Relationships can’t survive without trust. If there is a lack of trust between you and your partner, it will affect your entire relationship. If you start questioning where they have been or who they are talking to, maybe ask for a calendar to see how they spend their free time. Most often, if we have no proof that we can’t trust our romantic partner, it is about ourselves rather than them. If this is the case for you and you make up stories about what your partner could be doing, consider talking to a therapist who can help you explore the source of this. 

LDRs require a lot of trust. If this is an issue in your relationship, talk to your partner as well. Opening up about this topic and sharing what you need to feel safe can help them provide you with what you need. Keep in mind that trust is something that is built; it’s not given. In other words, find ways to build and maintain the trust that works for you both. Some people want to see browser histories and others want to be prioritized on weekend nights for video calls. 

 

All Relationships Require Work

Do not be discouraged if all of your friends have romantic partners and you are the only one in a long-distance relationship. All relationships require work, regardless of their form. You have to get to know the person to be able to connect with them in a way that is beneficial for both of you. Relationships between two people all look different, so comparing yourself won’t matter. Your life while visiting your long-distance partner looks much different than your life when you and your partner aren’t near one another. 

Once you’ve passed that first stage of being in love, you’ll still need to dedicate a lot of your time and energy to strengthening your relationship. Whether it’s looking for efficient techniques to manage discussions or to learn each other’s love language, there is something new to learn about your partner. The moment you don’t have something new to learn is the moment Eros has fallen asleep in the romance. Instead, continue to discover who your beloved is, as this will help you maintain the spark that many couples report losing. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit 4rus for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop Porn Addiction

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How to Stop Porn Addiction & Become Free

 

If you have been wondering how to stop porn addiction, you have come to the right place. Addiction of any kind is a serious issue, and sometimes overcoming addictive behaviors requires more than just willpower. If this is the case for you, you can experiment with different techniques and approaches to see if one of them helps you stop watching it. 

Before we dive into these techniques, let’s go a few steps back and look closely at porn addiction, why and when it occurs, and other relevant information that could help you understand why you can quit this easily. 

 

Understanding Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is frequently misinterpreted in the context of behavioral addictions. This keeps this addiction stigmatized, making it hard to identify. When talking about porn, there is still a lot of disagreement among medical experts on the boundaries between addiction and compulsion. However, there is no doubt that you can get addicted to porn. Not giving this topic the respect and seriousness it deserves makes it only harder for those struggling with this addiction. Not knowing what to do, who to ask for help, and which steps to follow is the first problem porn addicts face when they try to stop their addiction. 

What’s important to say is whether you have a porn addiction or compulsion; seeking help in the form of therapy is essential to stop watching porn. Porn addiction, or the inability to control the urge to view porn, is one of the most common addictions, and you have every right to take the path of quitting it when you’re ready.

 

Signs of Porn Addiction

Watching porn can have numerous negative consequences on your life. Excessive porn time can impact your sleep quality and time, make you ignore or forget about your responsibilities. And even impact how you connect romantically with other people. After all, porn can affect the expectations you might have from your romantic partner in bed and out of it. 

To help you understand whether you or someone close to you has a porn addiction, we’ve gathered porn addiction signs to be aware of. One of the most obvious ones is compulsive watching, when watching pornography becomes something you have almost no control over. 

Also, if you’re noticing you’re spending more time watching porn than before, it could be a sign of addiction. Another thing to pay attention to is whether porn is preventing you from performing your daily tasks, whether it’s at work/school or at home. As mentioned above, relationship problems are also one of the common signs of porn addiction. 

Although this sign is not very obvious at first, the need to watch more extreme or varied content is typical with porn addicts. The content you used to watch before might not do the work for you anymore. So you need something that will excite you on another level. 

Occasionally, individuals struggling with a porn addiction may choose to avoid social events or comply with the minimum expectations of others in order to quickly return to porn. 

Taking all that into consideration, it’s pretty obvious that porn addiction is a serious problem. If you’ve tried to stop it on your own, you might have experienced withdrawal symptoms, such as irritability, restlessness, or anxiety. This is your nervous system reacting to the lack of something it got used to, making it really difficult to continue being motivated about stopping your porn addiction. 

 

Steps to Stopping Porn Addiction

Just because stopping porn addiction is hard for you, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If people can get rid of their drug or alcohol addiction, you can do the same. There are certain steps and ideas that are recommended for people with porn addiction. If you’ve tried quitting before or this is your first time, follow these ideas and implement them as naturally as you. Keep in mind that the addiction didn’t appear overnight, so it certainly won’t disappear quickly either. 

 

1.Admit You Have a Problem

We know—it’s not easy. Admitting you have a problem implies you have to find a solution. However, what if it’s enough for now just to admit that you have a problem and not try to search for a solution? After you’ve admitted to yourself or someone you trust that you have a problem. Take a moment to feel whatever feels right at that time. Jumping into problem-solving mode will probably lead to counterproductive results. 

 

2.Start with Small Goals

With addictions, it’s quite difficult to get rid of them completely at once. Instead, start with smaller goals of watching porn every other day and limiting your time. Depending on how much you used to spend watching pornography, the goal should be a representation of a tiny advancement. 

 

3.Identify Your Triggers

A lot of people have problems with addictions because they use them as a way to run from stress. For instance, you might notice that your trigger is coming home tired from work and wanting to disconnect from thinking about your endless to-do list. Maybe you’re too bored, so porn provides you with a fantasy world where everything is possible. Whatever the reason, understanding it can help you find alternative solutions.

 

4.Replace Porn Watching with Healthy Habits

You can’t just expect to quit watching porn and not replace this habit with something else. If you’ve spent hours every day watching porn and then suddenly stopped, this void might remind you of your addiction. Instead, remind yourself of hobbies and activities you used to enjoy doing. Spend more time with your friends, go to the gym, take long walks, and listen to your favorite podcast. Creating a list of ideas can also help you avoid feeling like you have too much free time now when you’re quitting porn-watching. 

 

The Power of the Therapy

The best thing to do when trying to quit any type of addiction is to reach out to a recommended therapist and share your problem with them. A mental health professional can provide you with useful information on how to stay on the recovery path and break free from the addiction. After all, it’s the only way to get your life into your own hands again!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibile, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.