What Is Arousal Disorder?

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What Is Arousal Disorder? Causes, Symptoms + What You Can Do

 

What is arousal disorder, really? It’s a question many people ask themselves in silence—often feeling confused, frustrated, or even ashamed. If you’ve ever struggled with a lack of desire or felt like your body just isn’t responding the way it used to, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

Arousal disorder describes difficulty becoming or staying sexually aroused—mentally, physically, or both. This can affect people of any gender, and it often shows up in ways that are both confusing and discouraging. You might feel the desire to connect with your partner but notice your body isn’t cooperating. Or you might feel completely disconnected from your sexual self altogether.

In this video, I’m breaking down exactly what arousal disorder is, why it happens, and most importantly—what you can do to heal. Because yes, there is hope.

Common causes include hormonal changes (like during menopause or after childbirth), chronic stress, anxiety, unresolved trauma, relationship strain, or even side effects from medications such as antidepressants or birth control. It’s also worth noting that societal pressure, shame, or unrealistic expectations about sex can play a role in how we experience arousal.

Symptoms can range from low or absent desire, trouble becoming physically aroused, difficulty maintaining arousal, or feeling emotionally distant during intimacy. And all of that can take a toll—not just on your relationships, but on your self-esteem.

But here’s the thing: arousal is a complex dance between your mind, body, and emotions. And when one part falls out of sync, it doesn’t break you—it simply creates space for healing.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on—so you can reconnect with your body, your pleasure, and your power.

 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Is He Cheating + What To Do About It

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Is He Cheating + What To Do About It

 

Relationships are filled with a range of emotions and concerns, and one of the most common ones you’ll hear is, ‘Is he cheating?’ It could be a new relationship or a long-term one, but something is suspicious.

Sometimes, we think of infidelity due to our insecurities or past traumas, and sometimes, it’s because our partner is acting weird. Whatever it is, feeling like this is not pleasant. You could start doubting everything your partner does and says. You might feel the urge to check their messages or to follow them. Before you realize it, you’ll find yourself engrossed in this discovery and questioning how you got here in the first place.

So, we will look at the most typical indications of cheating along with suggestions for what to do in this situation. Keep in mind that every relationship is unique. Just because your partner is behaving in a certain way doesn’t automatically mean that they are cheating on you. 

 

Signs of Cheating

If you’ve never cheated or been cheated on, you probably know someone who did. As much as we’d like to be safe and loved in all of our relationships, the other side of intimacy is vulnerability. In other words, we can’t control other people’s behavior. Instead of wasting your energy on controlling your partner, take a moment to analyze how they act. It won’t prove they’re cheating, yet it will reveal their feelings about your relationship.

 

Lack of Time

You used to spend a lot of time together, whether it was traveling, going to restaurants, or cuddling at home in front of the TV. Something has changed, although you’re not really sure why. You’ve suggested various plans for the weekend, yet they always have the perfect excuse. 

 

Change of Priorities

Maybe you’ve been considering buying a home together or going on a long vacation to a foreign country, yet they don’t seem interested anymore. They even have a reason for it. They would rather not move because they just realized they prefer living in the center or they don’t need this vacation anymore. If their explanation doesn’t make sense or you see it’s not true, the true reason could be something they don’t want you to know about. 

 

Changes in How They Look

When we fall in love with someone, we want to impress that person. This is what you did when you fell in love with them as well. Going to the gym, buying a new perfume, or investing in their clothes could all be signs of a significant change in their life. However, make sure to double-check that their motivation is not caused by the simple desire to become the best version of themselves. 

 

Behavioral Changes

There are several changes you can notice in somebody’s behavior if they are cheating. They might start to hide their phone or leave it face down. They might show new social media behaviors such as being active online at late-night hours or downloading an app he was never interested in before. 

Furthermore, some men will start accusing their partners of cheating when they are the ones cheating. This is due to feeling guilty and wanting to distract you from finding what’s really going on. 

When it comes to behavioral changes, just think of how he was behaving before and how he is behaving now. If you notice major changes and can’t find a different explanation than cheating, you could be right. 

 

What to Do About It

Believing you’re cheated on can lead to feeling many emotions. The most common are fear, sadness, and anger. Before you decide to act on it, make sure you take care of yourself first. Whatever the outcome might be, you should prioritize your well-being over anything else. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether that’s talking to a therapist or your close friends. 

 

1.Listen to His Version 

Give him the opportunity to share his story, even if he meets all the requirements. Starting an argument and threatening to leave can become a big wound in your relationship, especially if you realize he wasn’t cheating at all. Do your best to start the conversation respectfully. You already know your version and what you want to say, so allow him to share his side. 

 

2.Address How You Feel

When they finish their conversation, or if they choose not to discuss this topic at all, it’s appropriate to express your feelings. If you believe that someone has betrayed you, you have the right to confront them. Tell them what this experience has been like for you. Remember, you’re not doing this to make them feel bad; you’re doing it to stand up for yourself. If you’re not going to be your advocate, who will?

 

3.Suggest Ways to Deal with This Situation

Suggestions on how to deal with this situation will greatly depend on whether he cheated or not. It’s not about solving the problem; it’s about agreeing on the next steps and conserving your energy. For instance, you might decide to spend some time apart or to sleep in separate bedrooms. You could decide to seek relationship counseling and get professional support during these difficult times. You could even discuss long-term expectations to remind each other what the end goal of the path you’re deciding to take is. 

 

4.Begin the Healing Process

Alone or with him, you will need to start to heal. Infidelity or doubts of infidelity can trigger so many things inside you, and you will need time and space to express that. Talk to a therapist, write a journal, or spend more time with your close friends. Prioritizing yourself is essential to healing. You might feel tempted to focus on him and your relationship, yet you’re the one who needs that level of care and support. 

Even in situations in which the partner was actually not unfaithful, you were still afraid and angry. You still believed you’d lose your relationship. That part of you deserves to be taken care of. In fact, ensuring you’re both taking care of your needs first will help you see with more clarity what steps make the most sense for you in the future. 

 

Begin the journey to help now with one of our staff members. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Why High Self-Esteem Is the Key to Success and Happiness

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Why High Self-Esteem Is the Key to Success and Happiness

 

The best way to understand why high self-esteem is essential is to think about the lack of it. Without self-esteem, you would struggle to maintain quality relationships, both in your personal and professional life. Self-esteem can best be described as a way of valuing and perceiving ourselves. 

Oftentimes, people will confuse self-esteem with confidence. While they are similar, confidence refers to our belief in ourselves and our abilities. For instance, you can have high self-esteem and feel uncertain whether or not you’re going to ace an exam or impress your potential employer during a job interview. Self-esteem can definitely have an impact on your confidence. Working on improving your self-esteem can help you become a happier and more successful person. 

 

What Is Self-Esteem? 

When we were children, our self-esteem started forming based on interactions with our parents, caregivers, and everyone else in our immediate environment. Positive reinforcement, love, and encouragement can help a child develop high self-esteem. Actually, children who experience neglect or excessive criticism are likely to have low self-esteem as children and adults if their childhood trauma has not been resolved. 

So, what is self-esteem? It is how you view yourself within the world. If you appreciate and value yourself, it’s most likely that you have high self-esteem. On the other hand, feeling like you don’t belong or don’t deserve something could be a sign of low self-esteem. 

Our self-esteem refers to how we measure our worth. This can affect almost every area of our lives, from self-confidence and relationships to emotional and mental well-being. However, the level of self-esteem is not set in stone. It can change depending on our life experiences and the interactions we have with other people. 

 

The Link Between High Self-Esteem and Success

Most people think of their careers when talking about success. However, you can have a successful relationship with your partner, successful friendships, successful hobbies, and so on. Success is not just related to your professional life and aspirations. This is why high self-worth is so important for every person. Even if you didn’t have the conditions to build it in your childhood, it’s never too late to do it yourself. 

With high self-esteem, you can make better decisions. When you know your worth, you will know more easily what you want and don’t want. By accepting yourself, high self-esteem can help you pursue opportunities that match your goals. 

Another benefit of high self-esteem is having resilience, as you know cannot protect yourself from failing at times. People with high self-esteem will handle failure better than those with lower self-worth. If you don’t believe you’re good enough, you will see a failure as a confirmation of that belief. People with high self-esteem, on the other hand, will see it as just another experience. 

To achieve success in anything, you’ll need motivation. People with low self-esteem are not very motivated to pursue their dreams or to make changes in their lives. Working on your self-esteem allows you to build the life you want and have a more positive attitude toward the world around you. 

 

How to Build and Maintain High Self-Esteem

<p>Being kind to yourself is essential if you want to build high self-esteem. People who are confident and respect themselves are also very kind to themselves. They rest when they need to, avoid criticizing themselves in difficult situations, and prioritize themselves over others when it’s needed. Make sure you’re kind to yourself in every way possible. 

 

Set Goals

Because you can improve your self-worth, it’s important to do the things that help you do that. Setting short-term goals can do a lot for your self-esteem. For instance, you might want to prepare healthy meals instead of eating highly processed food during your lunch break. Doing this for only one week is a great example of such a goal. After all, small wins boost confidence. It’s up to you to decide which small wins will make you feel better about yourself. 

 

Practice Positivity 

Although it might seem unnatural at first, you can practice positivity. Start by reducing anything that is causing you to think or act in a negative way. If you’re comparing yourself with people you see on social media, try to limit your screen time or start following people who inspire you. 

Another great way to practice positivity is with a gratitude journal and affirmations. Start writing down things you’re grateful for and positive moments that happen to you throughout the day. Focusing on the positive things can help you build high sense of value. Affirmations can also help you stay focused on what is important. 

 

Take Small Risks

Maybe you wouldn’t think of risks when talking about building self-worth, yet they can be extremely valuable. Taking small risks teaches us that even if things don’t go as we planned, we will survive them because we’re stronger than we thought we were. Examples of such risks can be asking someone out, going to a restaurant by yourself, traveling alone, or starting a new hobby. 

It’s not so much about risking as it is about allowing these experiences to contribute to your self-esteem. Limiting yourself to only familiar situations and people cannot help you build your sense of self-worth.

 

In Final Words

You cannot be happy and successful if you lack self-esteem. You can pretend it, yet it will not feel fulfilling to you. Building self-worth is crucial for your overall well-being and creating the life you’ve always wanted. The beneficial thing is that you don’t have to do anything overnight.

Take small steps and do things that make the most sense to you. Don’t force yourself to implement advice that seems unnatural to you, as you’ll probably not benefit from it all. Think about the most fulfilled version of yourself. How does that version look? How do they spend their day? How do they talk? What do they do? Answering these questions will help you see how to boost your sense of value.

If you want to start your body confidence journey today, click here.  

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Know If You Are Attractive

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How to Know If You Are Attractive: Unlocking Confidence and Connection

 

Ever wondered how to know if you are attractive? It’s not just about looks—it’s about how you show up, the energy you radiate, and the connections you make in a room.

Attractiveness isn’t just about symmetry or fitting into conventional beauty standards. It’s about the way you carry yourself, the way people react to your presence, and the confidence you exude. If you notice people making prolonged eye contact with you, mirroring your movements, or gravitating toward your conversations, chances are, you have an undeniable pull.

Your voice, the way you express yourself, and your sense of humor also play a role. If people find themselves laughing at your jokes or leaning in when you speak, that’s a sign they are engaged and drawn to your energy.

Another key factor? How you make others feel. When you radiate positivity, warmth, and authenticity, people naturally want to be around you. It’s not just about physical attraction—it’s about emotional and social magnetism.

In this video, I’m breaking down the key signs that prove you’ve got that undeniable presence. Let’s dive in and explore what truly makes you attractive!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear

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How to Talk to Ladies Without Fear: A Confidence Guide for Men

 

If you’re not certain about how to talk to ladies without fear, you will want to read this article. After all, you’re not the first guy who struggles to find the best approach to new women you meet in your life. Communication with the opposite sex is difficult, but knowing how to handle the challenges will make you successful. 

The good thing about confidence is that if you don’t have it, you can build it. There are certain techniques that can help you improve your communication with women without it sounding weird or forced. In this article, we’ve decided to share the best tips for single guys looking to make new connections with women they find attractive. Before we delve into the topic, we’ve compiled a list of warning signs that most women will quickly identify.

 

Red Flags When Talking to Ladies

Approaching someone you don’t know and hoping they are interested requires courage. However, some guys might try too hard to impress or act too cool, and both of these decisions will most likely result in a lack of success. 

One of the most significant warning signs that women identify when encountering new men is their tendency to approach multiple girls until one eventually agrees to converse, dance, go home, or engage in similar activities. Trying to have more options when dating could lead to a negative outcome, especially if other women are aware of it. Instead, look for one person who seems attractive or intriguing to you.

When you finally approach her, avoid using phrases other men, including you, typically use. Don’t be cheesy or rude. Notice something that makes her different from all the other women in that place and let her know you’ve noticed it. A comment like ‘I’ve noticed you’re the only person in this bar drinking water’ will probably be better accepted than ‘You look so hot in that dress.’

As much as we all want to make a fantastic first impression, your focus should be on her and not on you. All you have to be is yourself. While you’re talking, ask her about the things you are genuinely interested in. Answer her questions the same way you would if your friend were asking them. Being natural in a situation like this can go a long way. 

Useful Tips 

Now that we’ve covered what most women don’t like, it’s important to talk about how to actually improve the way you approach and talk to ladies. Knowing what to avoid doing or saying is only the first step. See a professional like Dr. Amanda if you are looking for dating results.

 

What’s Appropriate?

Approaching someone in a supermarket is very different from approaching someone in a club. Let’s say you’ve seen a woman you like in a supermarket while buying groceries. You will probably not go to her shopping cart and start talking to her about her interests. 

This type of environment requires a more laid-back comment, which hopefully could lead to a conversation. There, it would make more sense to ask for a product recommendation or to give one. Always think about what is appropriate in a situation where you see a woman you like. Not doing that could make her feel uncomfortable even if she liked you.

 

Talk to Your Female Friends or Family Members

If you think that you need help understanding women, that’s completely okay. Consider talking to your female friends, sister, cousin, or whoever you could trust. Ask them what they like about the men they’ve dated and what they want in a partner. 

This information can help you understand what other ladies find relevant when they approach you. You could learn which compliments make sense and which to avoid. You could also learn what nonverbal gestures women prefer. For instance, you could open the door for her if you’re leaving the place together, offer her your jacket if she’s cold, respect her space, and so on. These small gestures have a significant impact when interacting with a new individual. While some women may view these gestures as outdated, others may perceive them as a sign that you value her or find her significant. 

 

Don’t Set Expectations

The men who are most successful in dating are the ones who don’t get discouraged. It’s completely normal to get rejected. The funny thing about it is that it’s really not that personal. It’s possible that the woman you’ve approached is rushing or transitioning out of an emotionally taxing relationship. There are so many reasons why a person could not be interested in talking to someone they don’t know. 

When you decide to approach someone, don’t set expectations. Celebrate yourself for being brave enough to approach someone and start a conversation with them. All of these experiences will be helpful when the right woman comes along.

 

Build Your Self-Esteem

The way we feel about ourselves affects how we introduce ourselves to the world. Are you taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally? The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to make a connection with someone else. Just think about it! How many times did you feel excellent about yourself and then a random stranger treated you nicely, or maybe you’ve experienced something that made your day even better? 

When it comes to building your self-esteem, look at the things you can improve. Maybe you can enter a room with your head high instead of looking at the floor. You can also start exercising more regularly to feel positive about your body. Improve your eating and sleeping habits as well. Watch this if your body image won’t budge.

Think about getting a haircut before going out with friends if you want to feel more confident. Wear that shirt for which you receive compliments every time you put it on. Wear new black boots. You don’t have to try hard. Do only things that will make you feel good. What works for your single friends might not work for you. 

That is why it’s important to act as naturally as possible when interacting with a woman you’ve never met before. Being yourself can help you find the love of your life. 

If you are ready to start now, schedule an appointment with Dr. Amanda.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

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How to Deal with + Heal From a Toxic Mother

 

A Toxic Mother or father can add significant challenges and difficulties to our lives, as parents or caregivers have a tremendous impact on the development of our identity and how we experience the world around us.

Because of our loyalty to our family and the values we share with them, we often are not aware of their harmful ways. Of course, a lot of hurt that comes from family members is unintentional, yet that doesn’t make it less painful.

That is why, in this article, we’ve decided to look closer at examples of a toxic mother, how to deal with her, and ways to heal from mother wounds. During the process of discovery and learning, make sure you are kind to yourself. Your only end goal is to provide yourself with everything she couldn’t. 

 

Characteristics of a Toxic Mother

Nobody is perfect. While we live, we will bring joy to others, yet we will also hurt someone we love. It’s impossible to avoid getting hurt or hurting someone. That said, mothers are responsible for their children until a certain age. Many will realize that they’ve had a toxic mother long after they have moved out of their family home. 

Although hundreds of books have been written about this topic, there is still a lot of confusion about what can be characterized as a toxic mother. To offer a framework of behaviors that are common in toxic mothers, we’ve compiled this list:

  • She fails to respect your boundaries by simply ignoring them, questioning them, or making fun of them.
  • She refuses to take accountability when she makes a mistake.
  • She never apologizes for her words or actions and instead blames you.
  • She shows a lack of empathy for your problems, needs, or feelings.
  • She has high expectations and makes sure you’re aware you’re not meeting them.
  • She either avoids conflicts or turns them into counterproductive arguments.
  • She uses manipulation to make you do or say whatever she thinks is best.
  • She doesn’t like your friends and always finds a flaw in each of them.
  • She loves to be the center of attention and hates it when you or someone else takes that away from her. 
  • She controls your decisions and doesn’t allow you to live your life how you want to. 
  • She doesn’t take care of her health and expects you to care for her. 

 

There are many other examples of toxic mothers. Unfortunately, their actions can create serious consequences for their children. As much as a child loves their mother and wants to find a reason for such behavior, it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurts. The way a person deals with such hurt can differ depending on their personality, upbringing, social circle, and other factors. 

 

How to Heal from a Toxic Mother

A bigger question than how to identify a toxic mother is how to deal with her. What do you do when she undermines everything you do and are? How do you handle the expectation that you should prioritize her needs over your own life?

Whatever the situation with your mother might be, there are a few steps you can take to protect yourself. The best way to handle her depends on your situation and natural style. 

 

  1. Recognize Toxic Behaviors

Once you know which of your mother’s behaviors are harming you, it will become easier to prepare a strategy and take care of yourself. Go back to our list above and select which characteristics apply to your mother.

Then, think of the situations in which this behavior is activated. What does she say in these situations? The idea is that you familiarize yourself with the way her toxicity functions. As it could be challenging to have a conversation with her that would change her behavior, your best strategy is to prepare. 

That way, hearing her repeat the exact same phrases you wrote down won’t surprise you next time. It might still hurt, yet it will not be a scenario in which you lose control and allow her to treat you how she wants.

 

  1. Set Boundaries

There are two types of boundaries we have to explain when dealing with toxic mothers. One type of boundary is toward her, and the other is for you. Oftentimes, we’re focused more on setting the boundaries for others and not for ourselves.For instance, you might say to her to stop raising her voice at you. That is a boundary that she might or might not respect. However, setting a boundary for yourself here is what matters the most. If you decide to leave her house anytime, she lacks respect. That is a healthy boundary you’ve set to protect yourself from her. 

In a way, you are just as responsible for doing anything you can to feel safe as she is for respecting your boundaries. 

 

  1. Practice Emotional Detachment 

Emotional attachment is the most natural way to feel about your parents. If you have a toxic parent, on the other side, you’ll need to start practicing emotional detachment. There are many techniques available for this.

You might want to write down everything you want from her and know she’ll never give you. Or, you might want to go through one of your fantasies with your therapist to understand better why you seek her validation. 

Essentially, you want to understand the expectations you have from your relationship with your mother. As painful as it may be to admit that these expectations will never be met, doing so allows you to make room for others who may be able to meet them. 

Maybe you’ve always wanted your mother to congratulate you on your successful career, yet she’s only been diminishing all your achievements. Realizing the truth could free you from such expectations in the future and help you find a better place to meet that need.

 

  1. Work with a Therapist

The relationship between a mother and her child is a complicated one. Because we weren’t able to stand up for ourselves during childhood, it becomes quite challenging to work on these wounds alone. Therapists understand this relationship and can provide a more objective perspective.

With time, they can provide you with the knowledge and skills you need to break free from this toxic relationship. They can also help you set clear boundaries and see that relationship for what it is.

After all, this person is your mother, and nothing can change it. Each person can manage this relationship differently, yet what matters the most is that you heal from it and not carry that pain inside yourself. When you see your mother clearly, you can see yourself without her lenses. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do You Learn to Love Yourself as a Man

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How Do You Learn to Love Yourself as a Man? 3 Key Strategies

 

How do you learn to love yourself when the world constantly tells you to be tougher, stronger, and never show weakness?

Ever find yourself staring in the mirror, thinking, “I’m just not enough”?

You’re not alone. A lot of men struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they have to constantly prove themselves—to their job, their family, even their own reflection. But here’s the truth: You don’t have to earn self-worth. You already have it. The challenge is learning how to see it, believe it, and embody it.

Loving yourself isn’t about arrogance or ignoring your flaws. It’s about respecting yourself, knowing your value, and showing up in your own life with confidence. It’s not something you just wake up one day and feel—it’s a skill, one you can develop like anything else. And when you do? Everything changes. You walk differently, speak differently and you attract better relationships, set stronger boundaries, and stop settling for less than you deserve.

In this video, I’m breaking down three no-nonsense, battle-tested strategies to build unshakable self-worth. These aren’t vague affirmations or wishful thinking. They’re real, actionable steps you can take to start shifting the way you see yourself.

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re not enough, stay with me—because by the end of this, you’ll realize you already are. Let’s get into it.

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

Lesbian Couples Therapy

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Lesbian Couples Therapy: How It Can Strengthen Your Relationship

 

If you’re looking for tips on how to choose the best lesbian couples therapy for you and your significant other, we’ll share with you everything you need to keep in mind. From choosing a therapist to preparing for your first session, this blog will help you succeed. 

 

Reasons to Seek Lesbian Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are seeking a therapist to help you strengthen your relationship, you might consider going to a conventional therapist. However, keep in mind that a therapist without previous work with lesbian couples might be insufficient for you. This is because they could be unaware of the unique challenges a lesbian couple could face, whether it’s among partners, in the family, or in society.

Find a therapist who treats clients like you; check their reviews! The therapist’s knowledge and skills on what your contextual world is will help you and your partner with not explaining and teaching the therapist beyond heterosocial norms. 

Here are the most common reasons why a lesbian couple would seek therapy:

  • Communication and conflict resolution
  • Intimacy and emotional connection
  • Identity and societal pressures
  • Life transitions and external stressors
  • Lesbian-specific relationship dynamics

 

How to Prepare for Lesbian Couples Therapy

Even if you still need time to search for the best therapist or decide whether that’s the best solution, there are certain things you can do as a couple to work on issues within your relationship. 

 

Talk About Each Other’s Feelings

It is alright if you or your partner is experiencing grief, hurt, frustration, or any other emotion. Recognizing these emotions allows you both to provide each other with what you need. Oftentimes, conflicts arise when we assume how the other partner is feeling and act or say in a the wrong way.

When and where you both feel comfortable, share your feelings and needs. Don’t interrupt each other when speaking. If any of you find it difficult, assign a certain amount of time for each of you to speak. Asking her questions will help you understand her better if you’re unsure.

 

Respect Her Perspective

Oftentimes, we’ll focus only on the facts and search for the truth. Instead of doing that, remember that each person has a unique perspective on a certain event. Without arguing over who is right, you can get to know each other better. 

Even if your perspective is different, allow your partner to share hers. Learning how you both perceive and experience situations can help you build a stronger relationship. 

 

Learn Each Other’s Love Language

In all relationships, many conflicts arise because we are unable to give each other what we need. This might happen because of misunderstandings, external factors or simply because you’re not aware of each other’s love language. 

Love languages refer to our preferred way to give and receive love. This can be through words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. 

 

Don’t Forget About Physical Intimacy

You need to work on all aspects of your relationship, not just communication. Working on physical intimacy is essential. The term can mean different things to different people. For instance, your partner might need more hugs or cuddles before sleep, while you will want more sexual activity during the week to keep things spicy.

 

Spend Time with Mutual Friends

Spending time with friends can help you feel more accepted, loved, and protected. Beyond that, it reminds you both who is in your community and who matters. This can be quite beneficial if you don’t feel understood by your family or coworkers. 

Time spent with friends can also meet some of the needs that your partner can’t. For instance, you might be working a lot, and you don’t have time for a wild night out. If you decide to go out with friends, you can go to bed early, and your partner can have a great time dancing and talking to people you both love.  

 

How to Choose the Right Lesbian Couples Therapist

Before you just schedule an appointment with the first therapist you find online, make sure you check a few things first. If you’ve found a therapist online, you can find their experience and areas of expertise there as well. 

If you can’t find that information online or you’re seeing a therapist in person, you can ask them to send it to you before you schedule the first session. Once you and your partner have decided on one option, make sure you also keep alternative options if the first person doesn’t seem like a right fit after the session. 

It would be helpful to hear from past clients about what makes this therapist good, so read their reviews on Google. After all, even if a person is a lesbian couple therapist, they might not feel like the right fit due to their approach, personality, or something else. 

If you have any questions or concerns, it’s best to address them before or during your first session. Any technical details like price, insurance coverage, methods, and approaches should be discussed during your first interaction.

If, for whatever reason, you and your partner decide to look for another therapist, you’d better do it sooner rather than later. These steps will save you time and energy, and you won’t have to repeat the same information to another professional. 

 

Final Words

Therapy can help you strengthen the positive parts of your relationship and work on the parts that typically end in discussion. Being in a relationship is not easy, and it requires significant effort. Addressing unique challenges that lesbian couples face can help you heal from them and reconnect with your romantic partner.

Lesbian couples therapy can help you walk down that healing path together and lean on each other when times are tough. As time passes, you will both see how your relationship is developing and be encouraged to celebrate that! 

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is the Meaning of Divorce

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What Is the Meaning of Divorce + What to Expect

 

Married or not, you’ve probably wondered one or more times about the meaning of divorce. How do you know when you should consider ending your marriage? What should you do if you’ve decided to divorce your spouse? If you ever find yourself in this situation, these and many other questions might be on your mind.

However, before you even step into the commitment of marriage, it would be worth learning more about divorce. Understanding why some couples divorce can highlight areas to focus on for a lasting marriage.

 

Common Reasons for Divorce

Of course, each marriage is unique, and it can end for a unique reason. However, there are certain reasons that marital counselors and divorce lawyers always refer to when talking about most of their clients. Most people think infidelity is the main cause of divorce, but other things can hurt your marriage and end it. 

 

Lack of Communication

All issues begin in marriage when a lack of communication occurs. Regardless of the reason for that lack of communication, you seem to focus on one thing and your spouse on another. You will potentially start making up a story on how they feel and what they need. Successful married couples often agree that communication and effort are key to lasting relationships.

 

Financial Issues

Financial issues are linked to stress and a range of negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, guilt, frustration, and jealousy. Having financial issues in marriage can lead to blame instead of teamwork in finding solutions. As fear overcomes them, they may see each other as enemies and seek divorce. 

 

Infidelity 

Cheating is one of the most profound wounds of marriage, and it’s not just because there is another person involved in your intimate relationship. If you’ve been cheated on, you will probably have a difficult time trusting your partner, even with little things. Furthermore, it might lead to self-esteem issues and questioning whether or not you are attractive or intriguing enough for your spouse. The best way to get rid of all these doubts is by communicating them with your partner and learning the real reason why they cheated. In a complex situation like this one, it’s also important to discuss your mutual needs for security, love, and understanding. 

 

Growing Apart

When you marry, you hope that you and your partner will eternally be in love and grow old together. However, sometimes couples grow apart, and there is nothing you can do to force yourself to fall in love with your partner again. You may have had different experiences or learned different things from the same ones, making you incompatible. For instance, your partner might have stayed exactly the same person they were ten years ago, while you have changed and need different things or a deeper level of intimacy they cannot provide you with. 

 

Before the Divorce 

Deciding to divorce your spouse should not be a quick decision. If this is the first argument you had as a married couple, don’t even think about divorce unless the damage is unrepairable. Marriage consists of both good and bad moments. The key to a happy marriage is staying authentic and transparent through the tough times. 

Another piece of advice would be to talk to an expert on marital issues before you decide to divorce. Talking to a MFT (marriage and family therapist) can help you both listen to each other better and understand what is causing issues between you. As you share information about your marriage with a therapist, they will be able to provide you with a set of tools to strengthen the areas lacking. 

Even if you’re both certain that you want to end your marriage, having such guidance can help you make this process less painful and stressful. Given that divorce is one of the most stressful situations, any assistance will be greatly appreciated by both parties. 

 

Things to Avoid When Getting a Divorce

<p>Remember, a divorce is not something you can complete in a single day. It’s a process that often lasts longer than expected, and maybe you and your partner will need some time apart before you proceed with all of it. Whatever your situation might be, there are a few things that can make this process unnecessarily complicated or stressful.

Instead of telling everyone you’re divorcing and who your ex-spouse is, keep quiet. Remind yourself that this is an intimate moment. If you need to talk to someone, make sure it’s people you’re closest to and who have your best interest at heart. </span>

Secondly, instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong with your partner, focus on your needs. The split will not be an easy period for you, so ensuring you’re taking care of yourself is essential. You might need more time alone or want to journal your thoughts and emotions. Whatever it is, make sure you provide yourself with anything that will give you strength in these difficult moments. Focusing on yourself instead of your spouse can help you make the right decision at any moment and avoid getting hurt. If you need additional support, consider reaching out to a therapist to have space and time to focus on your well-being. They will also help you adjust to life without your spouse and all the changes after the divorce. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How Do You Ask for Help as a Man?

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How Do You Ask for Help as a Man? Steps to Improve Your Life!

 

If you’ve ever wondered, “how do you ask for help,” you’re not alone. In this video, I’ll teach you how to ask for help without fear or hesitation.

Many men struggle with this because of societal expectations that pressure them to always be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. However, learning how to ask for help is a vital step toward personal growth.

Whether it’s for your career, relationships, or emotional well-being, knowing how to ask for help can transform your life in ways you might not expect. The truth is, asking for help can be empowering and is a key part of self-care and achieving success.

In this video, I’ll guide you through the steps to ask for help with confidence, clarity, and purpose.

We’ll explore different ways to reach out to others, whether it’s to your friends, family, or colleagues, and how to approach them with the vulnerability necessary to make a meaningful connection. It’s about being open, honest, and understanding that you don’t need to do it all alone.

Asking for help isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about recognizing your limits and building stronger, more supportive relationships. It’s also a sign of strength, not weakness, because it shows that you value your well-being and the people around you.

Plus, we’ll discuss how asking for help doesn’t just ease your burdens—it strengthens connections and leads to real progress.

When you ask for help, you open doors to new opportunities, solutions, and shared experiences. Don’t miss out on the power of support—watch now and take the first step toward becoming the best version of yourself!

 

Couples Communication Strategies

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Let Go Of Someone

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How to Let Go Of Someone + Say Bye to Affair Partner

 

For whatever reason, you might have found yourself in a love triangle and are now thinking about how to let go of someone and work on your marriage. Even when society talks about marriage affairs, we do it in a very judging way, suggesting the person end the affair, admit to their spouse, and divorce them afterward.

Not all marriages are the same, and not all marriage affairs are the same. As big as our need to put a label on things is, the truth is that every situation is different. Your reasons for falling for someone outside your marriage may differ from your friend’s or spouse’s perspective, which may also contrast with the majority’s view.

That is why we’ve decided to provide support if you’re currently considering letting go of the person you were seeing. Despite your future plans, you’ll want to end this relationship well and move on. 

 

Reasons to End an Affair

There are many reasons why you might end an affair, from guilt to not finding this person intriguing anymore. If you’ve seen the movie Babygirl with Nicole Kidman and Antonio Banderas, which is in movie theaters right now, you might have noticed a different perspective on this matter.

In the movie, she does not start the affair because she is bored with her marriage. She is not seen by him, and she doesn’t feel encouraged to show him her other side, which is kept hidden throughout all the years of their marriage. This leads to activating this part of her with a younger stranger, who starts working in her company as an intern. He teases her, plays with her, and then seduces her. 

Other reasons may include differing relationship goals, especially if the other person

is unmarried. During this experience, you might also find out that you want to work more on your marriage. Your marriage is important, and the affair made you want to work harder to improve it.

 

I Cheated… Now What? 

If you’ve ended your affair and are not certain about the next steps to take, let’s look at your options together. First, there is this giant question of whether or not to admit the affair to your spouse. The answer will depend entirely on you; however, keep in mind that the guilt can creep into your life, affect your marriage, your health, and so much more. It is not an effortless thing to carry around, especially if you are devoted to the idea of saving your marriage.

If you decide to tell your spouse, you will want to do it with your heart open, using kind words and truly asking for forgiveness. Tell them the reason you decided to start an affair and share everything this decision has taught you. For instance, you might say that you realized how it’s been a really long time since the two of you tried something new in bed or spent time alone without kids.

Most importantly, respect your spouse’s needs. They might need time to think about it, or they might get outraged at you. Whatever it is, be patient. It’s not an easy thing to hear, and they might need some time to process all of it. If you want to save your marriage, you will have to be mindful of how your spouse feels and what they need. You might feel the need to overexplain yourself or ask for forgiveness several times, yet try not to do that. Respecting them means that you can give them exactly what they need during this process.

 

A Path to Healing

Oftentimes, a person having an affair will be so focused on analyzing their spouse’s behaviors, emotions, and words that they’ll forget about themselves. You have every right to take care of yourself during this process. Such care can mean different things, from starting individual therapy to journaling.

Even if the affair means nothing to you anymore, it’s still worth revisiting these momen

ts and asking yourself certain questions. What made you say yes to this adventure? What did you learn from it? Is there something you need to forgive yourself? Your healing path doesn’t have to depend on whether or not your spouse wants the same thing as you.

Once you’re both on the same page, consider seeking marital counseling. There are many things here that need to be addressed for you both to properly heal from this experience. Otherwise, emotions like guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, and doubts can appear in different situations and cause arguments between the two of you.

Establishing trust after the affair is more important than anything else. If you’re unable to trust each other with time, it can make the marriage impossible. These are the things an expert in marriage therapy can help you with.

Many couples have recovered from affairs and have become even more connected after it. A therapist will provide you with space to discuss your fears and doubts instead of ignoring them or treating them superficially. They will help you listen to each other and truly see the other person’s perspective. Soon, you’ll both feel better and learn from this experience instead of being afraid of it. If you love someone, you will want to move on and be excited about your future together.

If this all feels confusing, maybe it’s time to schedule a session. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Does Demisexual Mean?

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What Does Demisexual Mean & Am I Demisexual?

 

If you Googled ‘What does demisexual mean’ and ended up here, you’re in the right place. In this article, we will explain the meaning of demisexuality, talk about its characteristics, and discuss everything else that is demisexual-related. 

A demisexual person experiences sexual attraction only after developing an emotional bond with another person. You probably came to this page because you are keen to learn more about demisexuality, believe you may be demisexual, or know someone who is. Whichever the reason, you will find all your answers below. 

 

Demisexuality Explained

Demisexuality, to put it simply, is a sexual orientation in which emotional connection takes precedence over sexual desire. Not every emotional bond leads to sexual attraction. For demisexuals, emotions are the foundation of sexual connection. This phenomenon leads to them experiencing sexual attraction towards someone much rarer than other non-demisexual people. 

Because they need to be emotionally involved first, many might consider them asexual. In some cases, demisexuals might even call them asexual because of the rarity of such occasions. Still, it’s critical to understand demisexuality, especially when you want to connect with someone and explain to them your perspective on relationships and connections. 

Another point to distinguish demisexuals from non-demisexual people is their attitude toward sex while dating. Non-demisexual people will follow a set of rules or recommendations when it comes to sex. It might be waiting for the third date or learning more about the person before having sex. 

On the other hand, demisexual people don’t wait for society or themselves to impose certain requirements. In their case, there is a lack of sexual desire until they feel emotionally connected to the person they are dating. If they don’t feel emotionally compatible, they won’t want sex, regardless of appearance. 

 

Are You Demisexual?

Now, you might have an idea why you or many other people feel confused when it comes to defining demisexuality. So, if you’re still not certain whether you or someone close to you is demisexual, answering these questions might help:

  • Do you lack an interest in having one-night stands or casual flings with other people? 
  • Have you ever felt attracted to someone after having a deep conversation with them, something you didn’t feel before that conversation? 
  • Did most of the individuals you found sexually attractive or engaged in sexual activity have close friendships with you? 
  • Do people around you sometimes say you’re playing hard to get while you’re actually just not interested?

If you responded positively to these questions, it means that you’re probably demisexual. If you’re not a fan of labels, that’s completely fine, too. Labels typically help identify ourselves and introduce that part of us to other people. Understanding yourself better can help you find the people you can have that connection to more easily. 

 

How Demisexual People Connect with Others

If you’re a demisexual or you’re dating someone who is, it makes sense to learn the pathway to establishing a significant relationship with them. Although there are many similarities with dating non-demisexual people, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Firstly, don’t feel pressured into having sex if you don’t feel ready. People who don’t understand demisexuality might have certain expectations of you. It is up to you to remind yourself that you must first establish the emotional connection and that this process is perfectly normal for many people. 

Secondly, invest in people you have shared interests with, as it will help you connect with them on a deeper level. Having the same hobby, working in the same industry, or growing up in the same city can all contribute to the development of an emotional bond with that person. Otherwise, you might feel a lack of encouragement to go on dates if your experiences have been boring. 

Thirdly, it might be a beneficial idea to connect with other demisexual people. If you live in a bigger city, maybe there’s even an online community with people who feel the same way you do about dating and romantic relationships. Going out with them can make you feel understood without having to explain yourself too much. Furthermore, it can be a connective topic to bond over. 

Lastly, remind yourself of all the perks of being demisexual. If you’re unable to find like-minded people, it can become discouraging to date. However, demisexuality can have several benefits, and remembering that can give you motivation to meet new people. For instance, your relationship could last longer because you’ve established strong foundations for it before taking it to the next level. Also, you won’t waste time waiting to see if the sex is good. Because emotional connection is more important to you in the beginning, you will be aware of everything this person has to offer you and can determine whether they are the right fit for you. 

 

Final Words

Demisexual or not, your sexuality is who you are, and you should celebrate yourself. Surround yourself with people who support you, and you will find it easier to go on dates that are precisely the type of experience you’re looking for. 

It’s also a wonderful idea to learn more about demisexuality, as there might be a lot of what you don’t know. However, if you decide to go about it, remind yourself frequently that how we feel about our sexuality and how our sexual desire arises is unique to each of us. Comparing yourself to others or forcing yourself to do something unnatural won’t help. 

Once you have a clearer idea of what matters to you, it will become easier to pursue it. In no time, you will feel more interested in dating and meeting new people, sharing interests with them, and allowing yourself to enjoy every step of each experience. After all, meeting new people is exciting, and you should make the most of it!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night?

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What Do Couples Do in Bed at Night? Secrets to Connection and Intimacy Revealed

 

What do couples really do in bed at night? It’s not just what you think. 😉

Most guys overlook the small but powerful ways to build connection before sleep.

From unwinding together to physical touch and playful intimacy, these moments create a deeper bond and keep the spark alive.

In our latest YouTube video, we’re diving into the little-known secrets of what truly makes couples feel connected at night. It’s not just about sex—it’s about emotional closeness, trust, and the small rituals that strengthen your relationship.

We’ll explore:

  • The best ways to unwind together before bed
  • How physical touch (even non-sexual) deepens intimacy
  • Fun and playful habits that keep the spark alive
  • The power of nighttime conversations for emotional connection
  • Simple rituals happy couples swear by

Want to strengthen your relationship and feel closer to your partner? Watch the full video now and discover how to make your nights more meaningful.

 

Sensual Meditation: Strategies to Fall in Lust Again

Sensual Meditation

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

 

What Are Words of Affirmation

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What Are Words of Affirmation & How to Use Them

 

Words of affirmation are one of the five main love languages. Besides words of affirmation, there is also physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts. One person can prefer one way over another to express and receive love and appreciation, while another might prefer another love language. Love languages help us understand and support our loved ones in a more efficient way.

If you’re interested in learning words of affirmation as a love language, continue reading. We’ll explain this in detail and provide examples to help you give your loved ones inspiring words of love. 

 

Words of Affirmation as a Love Language

What does it mean if words of affirmation are your preferred love language? Firstly, it means that verbal communication is essential for you to feel positive about your relationship. While others might prefer their partners helping them out with a clean home or doing chores, you need to hear your partner expressing their love for you. In return, you probably also love telling them how much they mean to you. 

These words of affirmation bring you comfort and safety. You don’t expect them to hear you only when you’re feeling down or uncertain about your partner’s feelings for you. For you, words of affirmation help build a stronger relationship between you and the other person. It’s a way to be clear and straightforward about the importance they have in your life. Simply put, you celebrate love with words!

These words can be verbal encouragement, compliments, and affirmations. If you’re just discovering that this is your love language or your partner’s, take a look at our list of examples that can help you familiarize yourself with these phrases and use them in your daily life with your loved ones.

 

Examples of Words of Affirmation 

When talking about words of affirmation, the most common way to express appreciation is through giving compliments. However, you can also encourage them and show your love with words.

Below is the list of our favorite examples of words of affirmation:

  • You are incredibly attractive, both on the inside and outside.
  • You mean the world to me.
  • I love the way you make me laugh.
  • I appreciate everything you do for me.
  • You make my life so much better just by being in it.
  • I believe in you—you can do anything you set your mind to!
  • I’m so proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished.
  • You inspire me every single day.
  • You’ve got this! I’m here to support you.
  • You are stronger than you think.
  • I love you more than words can express.
  • Being with you is my favorite part of every day.
  • You are my safe place, my home.
  • I feel so lucky to have you in my life.
  • I cherish every moment with you.
  • You are so special to me, and I never take you for granted.
  • You are enough, just as you are.
  • I admire your kindness and the way you care for others.
  • You make every day brighter with your presence.
  • The world is a better place because you’re in it.

 

How to Love Someone with Words of Affirmation 

Just because you know that your partner or a close friend prefers words of affirmation doesn’t mean that you’ll immediately be sure about the proper way to use them. When is the right time to say these loving phrases? How can you provide support and show appreciation if the person is not sitting next to you? 

Well, you can always send sweet text messages or voice notes. If your partner is having a busy day, seeing a loving, motivating message from you can help them get through it. Depending on both of your communication styles, these messages can be either short or long. You can send one of the phrases we’ve mentioned above in our list or use them as inspiration and write a longer message. Or you can even make these messages more personal by using nicknames, shared memories or dreams, or anything else that means a lot to you both. 

You can also leave little love notes on the mirror, nightstand, car, or on top of the phone. A message like ‘I love you’ can bring a smile to your partner’s face, especially if they aren’t expecting it.

When you’re complimenting them, make sure you do it genuinely. You don’t have to lie or exaggerate things. If you like their new haircut, the way that a particular shirt brings out their eyes, or how they look under the moonlight, tell them. Often in long-term relationships, couples tend to overlook compliments, thinking they’ve already expressed everything. However, hearing something positive about yourself can really boost your self-esteem and brighten up your day.  

Lastly, words of affirmation allow us to express gratitude. If your partner took care of you when you had a cold, what’s a better way to show gratitude than with words? Thanking them for being in your life shows that you recognize and appreciate their daily inspiration. 

 

Wrap Up 

Words have power, and this power can build intimate relationships that last. Making sure your partner knows how you feel about them eliminates uncertainty or confusion. When all is said, there’s no room for guessing. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day, to tell your significant other how you feel about them.

Say it today. If your partner doesn’t typically verbalize how they feel, your initiative can motivate them to do the same. Saying words of affirmation to each other every day brings you closer, reminds you of your best parts, and inspires you to grow together. Celebrating such moments through words is a wonderful way to make sure you remember them!

 

Start your journey at home with CONNECT. 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Acts of Service Examples

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Acts of Service Examples You Can Start Doing Today

 

If your partner’s love language is the act of service or you simply are keen to learn more about it, you’ll want to go through the acts of service examples. Acts of service as a love language refer to doing certain activities that matter to the other person. An example can be running errands, buying them their favorite chocolate while they’re grocery shopping, or doing household chores. 

If you want to become more fluent in this love language, we’ve gathered everything you need to know about it. Get inspired by our acts of service examples and see which of them can be applied to your romantic relationships and friendships. 

 

What is an Act of Service?

Love language refers to the way we prefer to love and be loved. Besides an act of service, there is also gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. If you or your partner prefers the act of service as their dominant love language, you will want to familiarize yourself as much as possible with it. 

An act of service means you express your love or appreciation for another person through helpful actions instead of the other four love languages. Since this is your preferred language, you will appreciate it more if someone helps you thoughtfully rather than saying they love you or giving a hug. 

This is not to say you can only have one way you receive love. We can express love in different ways. However, one way will typically be dominant. In relationships with others, it’s important to be aware of our and their love language, as this allows us to grow and evolve together. 

 

Acts of Service List

Examples of acts of service can be quite different from person to person. For instance, you might enjoy it when your partner surprises you with a home-cooked meal after a long day at the office. Your friend, on the other hand, might prefer that their partner does all the chores if they have more spare time. 

These are some common examples of acts of service that can inspire you: 

  • Cook a meal for another person
  • Run errands for them 
  • Handle a task or chore you know they dislike
  • Surprise them with a clean home
  • Offer them a nice massage after a long day
  • Fix something you know they would use if it weren’t broken
  • Offer to drive them to work or somewhere else
  • Take care of them when they’re sick or tired
  • Offer to walk their dog for them 
  • Surprise them with a cup of coffee in the morning
  • Clean their car
  • Iron their clothes
  • Organize their closet
  • Prepare a nice bath for them
  • Pack them lunch on a busy day
  • Ask them how you can support them when they’re under stress

 

How to Give Acts of Service

If your partner’s love language is service, you understand that actions have a greater impact than words.  Below, you will find additional tips for performing acts of service. 

 

1.Express Gratitude for Support

Express gratitude to your spouse when they use your preferred language, and let them know you value it when they return the favor.  You will both feel appreciated in the relationship if you establish a pattern of showing each other love and gratitude. If acts of service are their preferred love language, enjoy the moments of their gratitude as well. Such moments can bring you closer. 

 

2.Ask About Their Preferred Acts of Service

Be specific.  Would they rather you just run that bath for them, or should you ask first?  Do they enjoy having you do the laundry yet, would rather handle the bill payment themselves?  Make sure your acts of service really serve your partner or friend. Occasionally, what we think would be best for others is not what they want at that moment.

 

3.Communication

Communication about what works for both of you is crucial in love languages.  It is important that you and your partner agree on the ways that you both like to show love.  Developing your communication skills in a partnership will come with numerous rewards.

 

4.Share What You Need

Both of you should practice asking for what you want. With time, the other person will learn which acts of service work best for you. For example, some people do not like it when you look through their drawers, while others want you to do their laundry and put it away for them. Remember that the goal is to show love and appreciation in the way your partner receives it, not to force yourself onto others.  

 

5.Don’t Compare

If your best friend and your boyfriend have a preference for acts of service, it doesn’t necessarily mean they will value the same actions. Every person is unique. Having an understanding of how to serve with love will be beneficial when meeting a new person with the same love language. However, listening carefully to them will show you what they really need from you. 

 

In Final Words

Acts of service are a wonderful way to show appreciation for other people in our lives, even if it’s not their dominant love language. If you notice your friend or family member stressed and without any spare time, offer your help. Maybe you can take their kids to school or take their clothes to the dry cleaner. Small acts like that can mean so much to someone who doesn’t have time or needs additional support in their life. 

By being supportive in that way, you not only show how much you care about this person. You help others who are in their inner circle. Being kind to each other benefits everyone around us. If you help your partner, their colleagues at work will notice they are much more relaxed. Your sister will have more time to spend with her spouse if you assist her with the children. 

If that’s the way you show love for others, you will want them to do the same for you. What’s a better way to receive it than give it to others first? 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients’ lives through our flexible, multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.