Situationship vs. Friends with Benefits

Situationship vs. Friends with Benefits

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Situationship vs. Friends with Benefits: What Is the Difference?

 

Modern dating labels can get quite confusing, so if you’re unsure about the difference between being in a situationship vs. friends with benefits, you are not alone. While getting to know someone romantically can be enjoyable, it can also be frustrating not to know what your relationship is. Understanding the difference between these two terms is vital for one’s emotional well-being. 

If you don’t feel encouraged to ask the other person about it, certain clues can help you have a better picture. In this article, we have taken a closer look at the rise of situationships and friends-with-benefits dynamics and outlined the key differences. 

 

Definition of Situationship

Situationship is more than just dating, yet it is less than a relationship. Both sides can be emotionally intimate without committing. Unlike in traditional relationships, two people in a situationship have ambiguous expectations and inconsistent communication. They meet spontaneously or occasionally, as they don’t see themselves as a couple that needs to foster intimacy. 

Choosing to be in a situationship can be due to avoiding commitment or fulfilling intimate needs without the pressure to define the relationship. You might have a busy schedule or be focused on goals in other life areas, which makes a situationship a perfect recipe to get what you need without complications or stress. Sometimes, being in a situationship can also be a sign of past trauma, which makes it difficult for the person to emotionally connect to another person on a deeper level. However, there is a risk that situational relationships will be seen as too uncertain, painful, or even frustrating for those who wish to take this arrangement to the next stage. 

 

Definition of Friends with Benefits

You can be in a situationship with a person you have just met or someone you already know. A typical example can be a friend of a friend, a coworker, or a person you’ve met in a bar. However, friends with benefits implies there was a friendship before it turned into something else. The foundation between two people is still friendship with a new layer added, which is a consensual sexual relationship. 

When you’re friends with benefits with someone, it typically implies a clear agreement between you, including rules and boundaries. Expectations are more focused on enjoying the physical aspect of your relationship, while emotional expectations are minimal. 

For friends with benefits to last, friendship must come first. This dynamic is suitable for those seeking intimacy without commitment and leveraging existing trust for comfort. Some people might enter into friends-with-benefits relationships to avoid relationship stress and emotional work. Friends with benefits can offer physical connection and closeness without the complexities and potential vulnerability of a conventional romantic relationship. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is a situationship the same as friends with benefits?

A situationship usually involves emotional intimacy and unclear expectations, while friends with benefits is based on a clear agreement that prioritizes friendship and casual physical intimacy without romantic commitment.

Is a situationship more emotionally risky than friends with benefits?

Situationships are generally more emotionally risky because they lack clarity and boundaries. This is why situationships often lead to confusion, anxiety, or unbalanced attachment. Friends with benefits tend to be less risky when expectations are clearly defined and respected.

Can friends with benefits end in a situationship?

If emotional attachment develops without open communication or renegotiated boundaries, an FWB arrangement can easily turn into a situationship.

Why do situationships last so long?

Situationships often last because of fear of commitment and comfort in ambiguity. People also stay in such arrangements when they are hoping for “more” or avoiding difficult conversations. This is often the case when one person is more emotionally invested than the other.

 

Key Differences Between Situationships and Friends with Benefits

None of these options is better or worse; your choice will depend solely on your preferences and circumstances. However, it is important to understand the key differences between situationships and friends with benefits. 

Emotional Involvement

Being in a situationship requires no emotional involvement because neither side is looking to grow together as a couple. Instead, they wish to enjoy the benefits without committing. Friends with benefits, on the other hand, will have more emotional involvement than situationships because the two people in this type of arrangement are already friends. This emotional connection arises from their pre-existing friendship, which is not romantic in nature. 

Communication Clarity

Friends with benefits offers more clarity to both sides than a situationship. Because they want to preserve their friendship, friends with benefits will focus more on clear communication and expressing how they both see this arrangement. People in situationships will typically not put as much effort into clarifying the rules and needs, as they will only focus on enjoying the positive sides of this experience. 

Expectations & Boundaries

Similar to communication clarity, friends will benefit from being better at defining their expectations and boundaries. It is not to say that if you are in a situationship, you are forbidden to have expectations or set a boundary; it is just less common. 

Long-term Potential

No one can say which relationship will last longer, but there are signs that can indicate it. Being friends with somebody and enjoying the physical intimacy with them satisfies more needs than being in a situationship. Of course, if a person is not looking for the type of intimacy a friendship offers, they can be perfectly fine with spending years in situationships. However, the question is whether or not the other person will feel the same way as time goes by. 

Power Imbalance

Typically, situationships can imply a certain level of power imbalance. One person is often more interested than the other, or their feelings develop as the situationship continues. When you are friends with benefits, both sides can have equal power in making decisions that concern them. This is due to the respect and confidence that were previously built in the friendship. 

 

Conclusion 

When comparing situationships with friends with benefits, remember that there is no wrong option. You might prefer one dynamic at a certain point in your life and find yourself drawn to another later on. As with any type of relationship we choose to form, understanding the emotional structure and expectations involved matters. This clarity can help reduce confusion or unnecessary hurt, and if you ever find yourself wanting a deeper, more personalized perspective, a thoughtful conversation with the right guide can make all the difference.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Stonewalling in Relationships

Stonewalling in Relationships

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Stonewalling in Relationships: How to Break the Cycle

 

Stonewalling in relationships is when one partner emotionally withdraws and refuses to communicate during conflict. This creates a barrier, whether through the silent treatment, walking away, or shutting down.

In most cases, stonewalling is a defense against feeling overwhelmed, yet it usually causes hurt, disconnection, and resentment. Such a shutdown can have long-term consequences on relationships, and understanding it in detail helps determine which course of action is most beneficial for you and your partner. 

 

Definition of Stonewalling 

Stonewalling occurs when a person emotionally withdraws during a conflict. The person may shut down, cease responding, or refuse to engage. Rather than expressing their emotions, they may become silent, turn away, or provide brief, distant responses.

This reaction hinders communication and creates an emotional barrier, making it challenging for the conversation to progress. When one partner disconnects, the other may feel ignored, rejected, or more upset, which can make things even more tense.

However, stonewalling and the silent treatment are not synonyms. The silent treatment is a deliberate way to punish or control someone. Stonewalling, on the other hand, often happens when someone feels overwhelmed or threatened. Many people use stonewalling without realizing it, simply because they struggle to handle strong emotions. Although it seems like a way to protect yourself, over time it can damage trust and closeness in a relationship.

 

Signs You’re Being Stonewalled

Stonewalling can be identified through both physical and emotional signs. Meaning, a common physical sign is when your partner leaves the room during a conversation, avoids eye contact, or turns their body away. Long silences, dismissive gestures, or short replies that show they are not interested are all signs of emotional shutdown.

Another sign is when conversations go in circles because the other person refuses to answer direct questions or continually deflects. You might also hear repeated statements like “I don’t want to talk about this” during every disagreement, no matter how calmly you try to approach the topic. 

Over time, you may notice that conflicts never move forward or find a resolution. Instead, you’re left with the sinking feeling that you’re talking to someone who has emotionally checked out, making it challenging to build connection, clarity, or trust.

 

Why Stonewalling Happens

Stonewalling often happens for reasons that go far deeper than simply “not wanting to talk.” One major cause is emotional overwhelm. During conflict, the body can activate a fight-flight-freeze response, and many people unconsciously enter the “freeze” state. This reaction isn’t intentional; it’s a survival strategy.

Struggling to manage emotions can also be a big factor. Some people have trouble handling stress, anger, or fear, especially if they grew up in homes where conflict felt unsafe or intense. For them, shutting down might be the only way they know to cope. Attachment styles also affect stonewalling. People with avoidant attachment often pull away to keep their distance, while those with anxious attachment may react strongly to this, leading to a difficult back-and-forth.

Stonewalling can also be something people learn from their families. If someone grew up in a home where disagreements were ignored or dismissed, they may repeat the behavior as adults. People who have experienced trauma, particularly emotional or relationship trauma, may shut down during times of conflict. For them, stonewalling is a way to protect themselves from more hurt, even though it can harm their relationships.

 

How to Break the Cycle

To prevent stonewalling from becoming a pattern, both people need to notice what’s happening and be willing to work together. If you are the person who stonewalls, try simple ways to calm yourself, such as deep breathing, focusing on what you can see or hear, or taking a short break.

It’s helpful to ask for a break clearly, for example, by saying, “I need 20 minutes to calm down, and then I’ll come back.” Over time, learning more words to describe your feelings and having short, manageable talks about challenging topics can make these conversations easier.

If your partner is stonewalling, try not to push them when they pull away, as those actions can make things harder. Speak gently and avoid blaming language. Let your partner know how you feel and what you need by saying things like, “I feel…” or “I need…” so you can stay connected without increasing tension. Give space when it’s needed, and try not to take the shutdown personally, yet still encourage a calm reconnection.

It helps when both partners create a plan for handling conflict. This could mean agreeing on when to take breaks or setting times to reconnect. When you both understand each other’s triggers and stress responses, conflict can become a chance to grow together instead of pulling apart.

 

When Stonewalling Becomes Emotional Abuse

Stonewalling becomes emotional abuse when it shifts from a one-time reaction to a repeated, intentional way to control, punish, or gain power. If one partner often shuts down to silence the other, avoid responsibility, or control the mood, this behavior is abusive.

In this form, stonewalling is no longer about self-protection yet about creating helplessness and imbalance. The partner on the receiving end may feel invisible, anxious, or desperate for connection, while the stonewalling partner withholds it. When withdrawal is used to dominate or erode the other’s emotional well-being, it is emotional abuse.

 

Conclusion

All relationships require work, and if you recognized yours in this article, don’t feel overwhelmed by the information. Share your concerns with your partner, and if you believe you would benefit from professional support, search together for a couples therapist. An expert can help you open up and understand how your partner experiences your relationship. 

Stonewalling can have long-term effects on your relationships only if you ignore it. Working together toward a solution can help you reconnect and feel like a team again. After all, you both want to enjoy the relationship. The only thing lacking is the tools to comprehend challenges and identify the best solutions!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

How to Stop an Anxiety Attack

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How to Stop an Anxiety Attack (in Relationships or Sex)

 

Anxiety can appear right in the middle of intimacy or connection. It isn’t random. Instead, it’s your nervous system responding to vulnerability, past experiences, or fear of being seen and touched. Because of this, anxiety often shows up when emotional or physical closeness increases. In this video, I explain why anxiety attacks happen in relationships or during sex. I also share how to stop the spiral in the moment. Finally, you’ll learn simple ways to feel grounded and safe again with your partner.

This isn’t about forcing calm or pushing through discomfort. Rather, it’s about listening to your body and slowing things down. By doing this, you can stay connected instead of shutting down or dissociating. You’ll gain practical tools you can use immediately, even mid-moment. These tools help you regain control and feel safer, without shame or pressure.

If this feels familiar, you’re not broken. More importantly, you’re not alone. This conversation can be a powerful first step toward feeling more present, secure, and deeply connected in your relationships, with compassion and clarity.

 

You might also enjoy this video!

 

Download CONNECT

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

What Is a Widower

What Is a Widower?

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What Is a Widower? Definition, Meaning, and Emotional Impact

 

If you’ve got here after searching on Google or AI for what is a widower, you are in the right place. This blog aims to provide a definition of a widower and to discuss the emotional impact of becoming one. At the end, we will provide healing and support techniques for a person going through such an experience and for someone who would like to support a widower. 

 

Definition of Widower

A widower is a man whose spouse has died, and he hasn’t remarried since his spouse’s death. A widow is a woman who has lost her spouse and who has not remarried. Both terms have distinct applications in social and legal contexts. The law utilizes strict definitions of these two terms, while society evolves social perceptions. 

Legally, the term widower has a precise definition that determines its specific rights and benefits. A widower must have been legally married to their spouse at the time of death and not have remarried. If a person divorced their spouse prior to death, they are not considered a widower in front of the law. 

Socially, the use and perception of widowers is much more flexible than the legal definition. Over the past years, women were more likely to be referred to as widows than men. The term widower appeared less frequently in general media when a man would lose his partner. Certain people find this term uncomfortable and painful, or they feel their identity is limited to the association with their late wife. 

That said, every person should be able to refer to themselves in a way that feels most appropriate and authentic to their grief process, which can be quite different from the legal definition. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions

How is a widower different from a widow?

The difference is based on gender: widower refers to a man who has lost his spouse, while widow refers to a woman who has lost her spouse. However, social expectations around grief often differ, with widowers sometimes receiving less emotional support or feeling pressure to grieve privately.

What emotional challenges do widowers commonly face?

Widowers may experience intense loneliness, sadness, anxiety, guilt, or emotional numbness. Many also struggle with changes in identity, daily routines, and social roles. Grief is highly individual, and there is no correct way or timeline for processing spousal loss.

When should a widower seek therapy or support?

Professional support may be helpful if grief feels overwhelming, lasts for an extended period without relief, or interferes with daily functioning. Signs such as persistent depression, isolation, hopelessness, or difficulty adjusting to life after loss may indicate that counseling or therapy could provide meaningful support.

Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone, so it only makes sense that you respect your own grief journey and don’t go against your emotions. 

 

The Emotional Meaning of Being a Widower

Becoming a widower is not easy, regardless of age and circumstances. Losing a partner you have shared your life with until recently will undoubtedly impact your present and future. You might have shared goals for the future or enjoyed daily routines together, and losing them changes everything. Apart from the loss itself, a widower has to face the fact that their life is going to feel and be entirely different from that point on. 

That is why there shouldn’t be pressure about identifying or not identifying yourself as a widower. Grief is hard enough, and worrying about how you describe yourself to others may not be a priority for a while. 

Most men who lose their spouse go through feelings of shock, disbelief, loneliness, emptiness, guilt, anger, and so on. There is no correct order in which a widower should experience these emotions. Some men will feel anger first, while others might go into shock first. Because it is a unique process for every person, there shouldn’t be expectations on how to go through it or how you identify yourself. 

 

The Psychological Impact of Spousal Loss

Besides the emotional impact, losing a spouse could have a range of psychological consequences. After their spousal loss, many widowers begin to experience depression, anxiety, increased stress, or vulnerability. You could even feel that your grief process is becoming more complicated or even prolonged. External factors such as work, family, and daily responsibilities can also affect how you experience your grief. 

Attachment and emotional dependence on the spouse a widower has lost will also have a tremendous effect on how the widower feels about the loss, himself, and the life he has to live without his spouse. If you were very close to each other and spent a lot of time together (e.g., built a business together or retired together), the spousal loss will change your life in profound ways. 

Often, grief changes a person’s sense of self and life purpose. It takes a while to be able to and you want to discover who you are after the loss of your spouse.

 

Grief Is Not Linear: Common Myths About Widowers

The most important thing everyone should remember about grief is that it is not linear. It often looks messy and chaotic, with drastic changes in emotions and moods. Having expectations about how grief should look creates misconceptions that prevent one from being authentic in their pain or providing proper support for someone grieving. 

You might have heard that widowers recover faster than widows or even that they remarry quicker. However, this is a myth that communicates to men who never remarry that they are slow to process their emotions. Such a belief can also pressure them into a new relationship just to meet the expectations of their close environment.  

Another myth about both widows and widowers is that moving on means that they have forgotten about their deceased partner. Any time is right to meet a potentially good romantic partner, and expecting people who have lost someone to deny themselves joy, passion, and love again is simply wrong. 

 

Healing and Support for Widowers

The pain caused by the loss of your partner is never truly gone. However, it can transform into a process that allows you to gradually return to enjoying the small moments in your day and rediscovering yourself. Depending on the widower’s experience and needs, certain healing and support techniques are available. 

Grief counseling or therapy has proven to be effective because the widowers gain a safe space to talk about how they feel, their most treasured memories, and everything else that matters to them. Support groups are also a beneficial way to meet others who are going through the same thing and hear how they cope. 

Once you allow yourself to seek support and care, it initiates the healing process. This doesn’t imply that you are moving on and forgetting about your spouse. It simply means you are ready to receive support for your grieving process. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Emotionally Unintelligent

What Is an Emotionally Unintelligent Person?

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What Is an Emotionally Unintelligent Person?

 

If being emotionally intelligent means having the capability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions, as well as recognize and understand the emotions of others, then being emotionally unintelligent is the complete opposite. An emotionally unintelligent person will lack all of these skills, making it difficult to connect with themselves and others on a deeper level. 

You might be surprised to learn that the lack of emotional intelligence is more common than you’d think. After all, it is not about being a malicious person. An emotionally unintelligent person doesn’t thrive on hurting other people, yet they are missing these key awareness skills that could lead to such results, especially in personal relationships. 

 

What Emotional Unintelligence Really Means

So, what would be the opposite of emotional intelligence? Imagine a person who doesn’t understand what they feel and why they feel that way. They may be unable to control their anger outbursts in public or their laughter at other people. 

When it comes to relating to other people, they won’t be able to understand why something is important to someone else. Even if you confront them about it, they will not be able to change their behavior so easily. Those are the most common examples of emotionally unintelligent people. 

However, it is crucial to explain the difference between low EQ (Emotional Quotient) and personality flaws here. Having a low EQ implies you have an emotional and social skill deficit, whereas personality flaws are broader aspects of character that can overlap with but are distinct from low EQ. For instance, the inability to manage your emotions in public is a sign of low EQ, yet being generally selfish might be considered more of a personality flaw. 

A common misconception about low EQ is that it implies a person lacks empathy, which is not the case. A person can be very empathic, yet still emotionally unintelligent. A common example could be encouraging a friend to leave their relationship by promising them that everything will go smoothly after the breakup, including finding a new apartment, getting over their ex-partner, and starting to date again. Although the intentions are beneficial, the lack of awareness while providing support can lead to undesired and painful outcomes. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

What is emotional unintelligence?

Emotional unintelligence refers to difficulty in recognizing, understanding, or managing emotions, both your own and others’. It can show up as poor self-awareness, reactive behavior, insensitivity, or struggles with communication and empathy.

What are common signs of emotional unintelligence?

Typical signs include defensiveness, blaming others, inability to handle feedback, frequent misunderstandings, emotional outbursts, avoidance of emotional conversations, or dismissing other people’s feelings.

Can someone improve their emotional intelligence even if they currently lack it?

Emotional intelligence is a skill, not a fixed trait. Improvement comes through self-reflection, learning emotional vocabulary, practicing empathy, building better communication habits, and receiving honest feedback from trusted people or professionals.

 

Signs a Person Might Be Emotionally Unintelligent 

There are signs to look for to see if you or someone you know is emotionally unintelligent. Keep in mind that even if a person exhibits signs of emotional unintelligence, it doesn’t immediately confirm they are emotionally unintelligent. However, these signs may indicate a specific type of behavior that necessitates intense awareness for improvement. 

1.Difficulty Naming or Understanding Emotions

A person who lacks emotional intelligence will often say they don’t understand why they feel a certain way. They will express symptoms of a certain emotion, whether that’s anger, fear, or something else, yet they will not be able to understand why this emotion appeared. Because they don’t recognize the emotion, they will struggle to manage it and talk about it with a friend, partner, or someone they trust. 

2.Reacting Instead of Responding

Emotionally intelligent people will be more patient and comprehensive in processing other people’s emotions or experiences. When a person reacts impulsively to something in their environment, it may indicate they are emotionally unintelligent. You may observe that their reactions are often defensive and influenced by past events. 

3.Taking Everything Personally 

Everyone sometimes takes things personally, but a person who lacks emotional intelligence often has a low tolerance for feedback. Even if you share your suggestion in a kind, polite tone, they will interpret it as harsh criticism. 

4.Poor Listening Skills

To be an emotionally intelligent person, you have to be skilled in both talking and listening. Having poor listening skills indicates you only listen to reply, not to understand what someone else is saying. An emotionally unintelligent person often interrupts or dominates conversations and is not aware of this dynamic. That is why their lack of patience for other people’s interests usually affects their close relationships negatively. 

5.Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Another sign of an emotionally unintelligent person is their tendency to avoid difficult conversations. You will rarely see them offering constructive comments during a conflict; instead, they will likely disengage or become emotional, often angry. This results in accumulated resentment and unresolved issues in personal or professional relationships. 

6.Struggles with Boundaries

Although everyone struggles with boundaries up to a certain point, a person with a lack of emotional intelligence struggles to respect their own and other people’s boundaries. Due to their lack of understanding of the importance of setting boundaries in relationships, they often disregard them and quickly justify their actions. Common examples include overstepping or feeling offended when someone sets a boundary for them. 

 

Why Emotional Unintelligence Happens

Emotional unintelligence can occur due to a number of factors. However, childhood modeling and social conditioning are the most common reasons why someone lacks emotional intelligence in adulthood. Also, a person could lack an emotional vocabulary, which could make it more difficult to recognize their emotions. Trauma or chronic stress can also lead to a lack of emotional intelligence, especially if that traumatic event has not been processed healthily. 

Here, it is also vital to mention cultural messaging around thoroughness, which is usually aimed at men. The idea of not having the right to express emotions like sadness and fear can lead to emotional numbness. 

 

How to Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Fortunately, there are numerous methods available to either practice yourself or recommend to someone else, all aimed at boosting emotional intelligence. Start by building your emotional vocabulary. You can do your part by getting in the habit of naming your feelings. That’s a great start to understanding the spectrum of human feelings and the nuances that separate them.  

You might want to practice mindful self-awareness by observing your triggers or learning your internal patterns. This is best done with the help of an experienced therapist who can guide you through the entire process. By building emotional regulation, you will be able to manage your emotions in a healthier way and support your loved ones when they experience their emotions. 

As defensiveness is a key trait in most emotionally unintelligent people, learning to cultivate curiosity over defensiveness can be crucial for your personal growth. Instead of feeling attacked, ask yourself why you feel a certain way. Instead of numbing down your emotions, ask yourself how you would describe what you are experiencing right now. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

what is a lavender relationship

What Is A Lavender Relationship?

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What Is A Lavender Relationship?

 

In this article, we explore what is a lavender relationship, where the term originated, and why it still exists today. More importantly, we look at the emotional cost it often carries. While these relationships are sometimes misunderstood, they have deep historical and social roots.

Historically, lavender relationships emerged as a form of protection. For example, in old Hollywood, public image often determined survival. As a result, many people entered marriages that hid their true identities. These unions were not always loveless. However, they were rarely free.

Over time, the concept has evolved. Today, what is a lavender relationship looks different, yet the pressure remains. In many cases, social expectations around marriage, sexuality, or family still push people toward silent compromises. Consequently, authenticity can become secondary to safety or stability.

Additionally, lavender relationships often involve unspoken agreements. While they may appear functional from the outside, they can carry loneliness underneath. Therefore, understanding what is a lavender relationship requires empathy rather than judgment.

Ultimately, this topic invites reflection. By learning what is a lavender relationship, we can better recognize hidden dynamics in partnerships. More importantly, we can question how society defines love, truth, and belonging today.

You might also enjoy this video!

 

Download CONNECT

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Married My Best Friend

I Married My Best Friend

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I Married My Best Friend: The Unexpected Benefits No One Talks About

 

If the phrase “I married my best friend” refers to you, congratulations! It is a beautiful experience to realize your friendship is even more. You’ve spent quite some time getting to know each other without the pressure of analyzing if you are the right person for each other. Now, your friendship has grown into a loving marriage. 

If you married your best friend, this article is for you. However, if you are falling in love with your best friend or have started dating them recently, stay for more encouragement and motivation. After all, you will want to know all of the benefits of this unique experience!

 

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to marry your best friend?

Many long-lasting couples say their partner is also their best friend. Friendship naturally creates trust, emotional safety, shared values, and strong communication, which are all foundations of a healthy marriage.

Does marrying your best friend make the relationship less passionate?

Not at all. Passion often deepens and becomes more sustainable because it’s built on emotional intimacy, not just physical chemistry. Comfort and trust actually enhance desire over time.

What are the greatest advantages of marrying your best friend?

The most significant benefits include ease of communication, a strong sense of teamwork, a low-pressure connection, a fun daily life, and a resilient bond during stressful times. These quiet strengths are what make the marriage last.

 

1. Conflict Feels Less Like War and More Like Problem-Solving

Investing in your friendships is one of the best decisions you can make in your life. You can get to know someone by learning about them, seeing how they react in different situations, and being there for them. Occasionally, when you start to date a person you didn’t know previously, the expectations and illusions can stand in the way.

In friendships, respectful communication is the bridge that always connects you to each other. Because you know each other, there is much more respect and understanding of how the other person functions and experiences life in general. That is why married couples who were friends before tend to resolve issues faster than couples who started with pure chemistry. 

 

2. There’s Less Pressure to Be “Perfect”

For a relationship to work long-term, both of you need to be your authentic selves. You feel free around this person, as you know a trustworthy friend never judges you. Once your friendship grows into a romantic relationship, you get to enjoy being fully yourself, something that can be tricky when meeting a new person. 

Keep in mind that long-term intimacy is created through comfort, not performance. Every valuable connection needs to stand the test of time, and the same goes for relationships. Marrying your best friend means you don’t have to impress them or wear a mask, since they know you for you. 

 

3. Everyday Life Becomes Easier and More Fun

We become friends with people we see ourselves enjoying our future with. We can count on them when times are difficult, and we can have fun when we want to. That is why typical daily situations feel much better when this person is with you. 

You can’t wait to share your day or plans with them, and you know they feel the same. Being able to make the most of everyday life together is a sign of a lasting relationship.

 

4. Longevity and Stability Are Naturally Stronger

Friendship-based relationships are often more reliable than those of strangers. Shared history supports long-term harmony. Whether you’ve been friends since childhood or you met a few years ago, marrying your best friend brings more stability into your life. You don’t have to fear certain situations, like living with them, because you’ve already seen how they function in everyday life. Such situations take away the uncertainty and risk that are connected to building a relationship with someone you meet step by step. 

 

5. You Grow Together Without Competition

A little bit of competition is healthy and enjoyable, yet being too competitive can take all the fun out of your marriage. This is what makes friends good romantic partners. They love celebrating your wins and they understand that each of you is on a unique path. 

There is no need for competition, and you can support each other without jealousy. Besides eliminating competitiveness, this also emphasizes the importance of “us” over “you and me.” People who were friends before getting married see themselves as a team and are focused more on achieving common goals instead of turning against each other. 

 

6. Intimacy Deepens in Surprising Ways

Emotional intimacy is the basis for physical intimacy. When you date someone you’ve just met, it can take a while to truly build this emotional intimacy with them. As a consequence, physical intimacy can suffer as well.

However, when you are dating your friend, you are already emotionally connected, so adding that layer of physical intimacy becomes a more enriching experience for both of you. When you feel safe with them, you can be vulnerable and focus on what connects you. 

 

7. Sharing and Learning from Crises 

You are less afraid of a crisis when you have a long-term relationship with someone. Even the greatest marriages will encounter a crisis or difficult moments, and knowing you can count on each other is crucial.

When dating someone you don’t know that well, you might learn that they are an excellent companion in good times, yet when life gets hard, they don’t know how to act. Your friend, on the other hand, probably became your friend because you experienced their support on more than one occasion. 

 

Conclusion

Without a doubt, marrying your best friend is one of life’s biggest blessings. You get to enjoy another aspect of life with them and grow together in ways you never thought possible. After all, love is so much more than just passion. Respect, communication, and transparency are pillars of a healthy relationship, which shows that friends can be excellent romantic partners. 

If you’ve noticed you have romantic feelings for your friend yet are afraid it might destroy your friendship, consider the benefits mentioned. When you feel ready, share how you’re feeling with a therapist or someone in the friend group about if they think you ought to build something incredible. 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Relationship Anarchy

Relationship Anarchy

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Relationship Anarchy: A Clear Guide for Beginners

 

Have you heard of the term relationship anarchy? This philosophy rejects traditional relationship hierarchies and social norms and applies anarchist principles to relationships. In other words, relationship anarchy stands for unique, non-hierarchical relationships that are based on communication, consent, and mutual needs. 

Lately, relationship anarchy has been getting a lot of attention, mostly due to the modern dating trends. Many people are now desiring autonomy over labels while exploring and getting to know others without any pressure. If you, too, are curious about relationship anarchy or simply want to learn more about non-hierarchical relationships, this article is for you. 

 

What Is Relationship Anarchy?

The origin of the term relationship anarchy can be traced back to the early 2000s, when Andie Nordgren, a Swedish relationship educator, wrote The Relationship Anarchy Manifesto. It is a political and philosophical concept that is rooted in activism, feminism, and anarchist theory. 

Relationship anarchy (RA) emerged from a desire to challenge social rules applying to how love, intimacy, and commitment should look. This concept began questioning the hierarchy that places romantic relationships above friendships while resisting control in relationships and encouraging people to design relationships as they see fit. 

When it comes to relationship anarchy, all relationships should be built on personal values and not societal norms. However, it’s important to say that it is a philosophy, not a set of rules. RA can look different from one person to another. 

 

Core Principles of Relationship Anarchy

Despite being a philosophy, relationship anarchy adheres to certain principles that are applicable in daily life. One of the most relevant ideas in relationship anarchy is the autonomy and personal freedom each person in a relationship has. It does encourage individuals to seek healthier ways to build connections. 

It also doesn’t have any type of hierarchy, yet what does that mean? Those in RA can choose which relationships to have and what values to build them on. For instance, relationship anarchy rejects the idea that a marriage is more important than friendship or vice versa. There is no hierarchy, and individuals have the freedom to select the partner or people they spend time with that best suit their needs. 

That said, these relationships have to be built on consent, mutual respect, and open communication. These three values ensure that these relationships are not hierarchical or harmful in any way to the people involved. Having a custom-designed relationship doesn’t mean you can treat someone poorly. It comes with responsibility, which is genuine and not a result of societal norms. 

 

Relationship Anarchy vs. Other Relationship Models

Maybe the best way to understand relationship anarchy is to compare it to other relationship models. Relationship anarchy doesn’t imply monogamy, polyamory, or ethical non-monogamy. It simply removes the limits we or others set for ourselves when it comes to relationships. 

If you’re a relationship anarchist, you can also be a monogamist, date other people, invest in your friendships, explore new interests, and so on. In other words, it’s about what you can do, not what you can’t. 

 

Common Myths About Relationship Anarchy

Many misconceptions exist around relationship anarchy. Some critics of this philosophy say that the lack of hierarchy leads to chaos. However, if the core principles of relationship anarchy are respected, there is no reason for chaos. Just by communicating openly, being honest, and respecting people you care about, you add transparency and clarity to your relationships.  

Some also say that relationship anarchy implies no boundaries, which is absolutely incorrect. “No limits” in this philosophy refers to the labels and societal norms, not boundaries needed for a healthy, thriving relationship. For instance, you can set a boundary that you’ll leave every time a person makes you wait for too long. 

One of the most common myths about relationship anarchy is that you can’t build stable connections without rules. You can definitely build valuable relationships with a softer approach that doesn’t require putting people in the appropriate boxes. This, however, doesn’t mean that there are no guidelines and boundaries in this type of relationship. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is relationship anarchy the same as polyamory?

No, relationship anarchy and polyamory are not the same thing. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy about designing relationships based on personal values. Polyamory is a relationship structure involving multiple romantic or sexual partners.

Does relationship anarchy mean “no rules”?

Relationship anarchy rejects assumed rules, not agreements. Instead of traditional expectations, it encourages mutual, intentional agreements created by the people involved.

Can you practice relationship anarchy if your partner doesn’t?

Yes, you can practice relationship anarchy even if your partner doesn’t. However, if you want a fully non-hierarchical structure, both partners need to align on that approach.

 

Why People Choose Relationship Anarchy

So, why is relationship anarchy becoming so popular? Is it just because people are tired of labels, or is there something else? One of the primary reasons for exploring the philosophy behind relationship anarchy is the desire for freedom and authenticity. Those interested in it also want to be themselves rather than conform. 

It is also a way of healing from past relationship patterns for many. You might have concluded that your previous approach to building relationships no longer serves you, and you are now taking time to understand what truly represents the authentic you. 

People also choose relationship anarchy because they want their relationships to evolve naturally. Instead of labeling the connections they build, they simply surrender and see what will evolve from it. This also allows them to see the true potential of the connection between them and someone else instead of hoping to become a couple, friends, or anything else. 

Most importantly, relationship anarchy allows friendships to be as important as romantic connections. Your personal needs and values determine the significance of all relationships, as there is no predefined structure. You are the one who is in these relationships, and you are the one who knows best what is most valuable and needed from them. 

 

Conclusion 

There is no right or wrong relationship model or philosophy. Every person is unique and seeks different things from relationships with other people. That is why what works for you might not work for someone else. This is also one of the main points of relationship anarchy. 

If relationship anarchy seems like something you’d like to try, make sure you follow its core principle when building relationships. After all, relationships should be about choice, freedom, and designing them intentionally. If the concept is something you want, explore it at your own pace and apply it to your life naturally.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Define Interpersonal

Define Interpersonal Relationships

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Define Interpersonal Relationships: A Therapist Explains

 

To define interpersonal relationships is really to understand how we connect with others beneath the surface. Have you ever noticed how a single conversation can suddenly shift everything?

In this video, Dr. Amanda Pasciucco breaks down how to define interpersonal dynamics through a trauma-informed lens, showing how vulnerability, emotional safety, and unresolved experiences shape the way we relate. You’ll learn why some relationships grow stronger while others slowly fall apart, and how more intentional communication can change the way you connect with the people closest to you. Stay until the end for insights you can start using right away.

This episode also goes deeper into defining interpersonal patterns by looking at nervous system responses, attachment styles, and boundaries that quietly influence our interactions. You’ll see how old wounds show up in present-day relationships, why conflict can feel so intense, and how trust and safety are built through repair and consistency.

Using real-life examples from friendships, family dynamics, and romantic relationships, Dr. Pasciucco makes complex ideas feel relatable—helping you notice your patterns without judgment and choose connection with awareness instead of habit.

You might also enjoy this video!

 

Download CONNECT

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.