Sex After Breast Cancer

Sex After Breast Cancer

I often get asked by my female clients for alternative ways to get aroused during sex after breast cancer. They have little or no feeling in their nipples due to breast cancer or other types of breast surgery.

I have heard more than 100 women discuss changes in sensitivity around the nipple and breast, which impacts sex after breast cancer and even breastfeeding.

There is A LOT happening emotionally and spiritually while undergoing breast surgery and recovery.

The chest is an interesting body part for women, as it holds the heart and the breasts! It’s such a tender and vulnerable spot.

 

breast

 

After breast cancer surgery, many women indicate they do not feel ‘womanly’ anymore. Some feel they aren’t good enough. This is because they don’t like how they fill out their shirts, or they have unappealing scars, or they don’t get aroused easily. This creates anxiety and insecurity in their sex life.

 

Tips and Lessons Learned From My Clients for Sex After Breast Cancer (if your nipples aren’t sensitive anymore): 

  1. Identify your breast sensitivity: no sensation, minimal sensation, due to technique or something else.
  2. Talk to your doctor if you need to understand the cause
  3. Find another part of your body that is sensitive. Try the lower back and down the sides of the body. Go from your neck, around the chest, and down the rib cage (towards the belly). Once you find other areas that are sensitive have your partner touch you there.
  4. Reclaim your chest by either piercing your nipples or tattooing over surgery scars. 
  5. Incorporate other toys on the nipples, like nipple clamps, vibrators, or floggers (whips) to get a different feeling on the chest.
  6. Do a sexy photo shoot to reclaim your beauty.
  7. Do a mourning ritual for the chest you used to have so you can grieve and move on!

 

If you have had breast cancer or reconstruction, or possibly breast implants or breast reductions, how have you dealt with the feelings of insecurity, pain, embarrassment, etc.?  Please comment below, we would love to hear from you!

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

Sex Education – Why is it so Sexist?

Sex Education – Why is it so Sexist?

 

Sex education in the United States is first introduced in schools in about 10th grade – if at all. According to the CDC, the following is supposed to be included, but it often isn’t: 

  • How to obtain and use condoms
  • Importance of using a condom at the same time as another form of contraception to prevent both STDs and pregnancy
  • How to access valid and reliable information, products and services related to HIV, STDs, and pregnancy
  • How HIV and other STDs are transmitted and their health consequences
  • Importance of limiting the number of sexual partners
  • Preventive care that is necessary to maintain reproductive and sexual health

 

Here is the stuff on the list that I paid for in higher sex education:

  • How to create and sustain healthy and respectful relationships
  • Influences of family, peers, media, technology and other factors on sexual risk behavior
  • Benefits of being sexually abstinent
  • Importance of using condoms consistently and correctly
  • Communication and negotiation skills
  • Goal-setting and decision-making skills
  • Influencing and supporting others to avoid or reduce sexual risk behaviors

 

We live in a culture of sexual health. Not a culture of sexual wellness or pleasure! 

Don’t believe me, the CDC says so!

Think about your sex education talk. While boys are taught about masturbation, girls are taught about periods and preventing pregnancy. 

Sometimes I feel like it is an “us” vs “them” mentality for the genders, but what about those beyond the binary? How do they get their sex education? 

All genders are included in sexually transmitted infections (STI) education and LGBTQ+ curriculum if schools are willing to pay for it. 

Great… so… no one knows ANYTHING!

 

Unless you had an older sibling that happened to share information, the “birds and the bees” talk typically goes something like… “don’t get pregnant” or “don’t get a disease.”  

 

Then, you move on to college and if you are blessed, as I was, your school offers sexual education or “human fertility” as it was called at Providence College! ::shaking my head:

 

Thankfully, no matter what, we all have the Internet to learn sex education from PORN! 

You know… another place where men and women are objectified for the pleasure of the voyeur at home. 

Porn sex education is not real! The waxed and bleached vulvas and anuses, humongous penises that are ALWAYS hard and ALWAYS cause an orgasm for the receiver are for entertainment.

Some people begin to rely solely on porn to masturbate and thus have no experience in developing or fixing a sexual connection and sexual routine with a committed partner. 

 

A Lack of Sex Education Can Lead to Other Life Problems

What I have seen, specifically in women, is that many feel shame about discovering and enjoying masturbation. Self-pleasure can become a normal part of sexual development if we discuss it!

A lack of sex education is problematic, because individuals enter sexual relationships without knowing what gives them pleasure and assuming it will naturally work. 

If you do not know your sexual anatomy and how the different areas are designed for pleasure, then you do not have the foundation to take control of your pleasure or your relationship. 

What often happens is a ripple effect across the entire life cycle of not getting what you want and living life on half-empty. 

 

Pleasure-Centered Sex Education Should Be Mandatory

I don’t even like the word “should,” but I feel passionate about our mission in helping others love themselves and their relationships! 

Over the past six years hundreds of individuals have come to see us at Life Coaching & Therapy to help them overcome  to sexual pain, shame, and insecurities. 

I’ve struggled with sexual addiction and relationship issues all of my life. I have spent years in traditional therapy with everyone from social workers to psychologists to psychiatrists. And then I found Amanda. She has an expert knowledge of the field she works in. But it’s her love and passion and new approach for her work that separates her from the rest! In a short period of time she gave me feedback and solutions to my problems. She changed my life! If you’re tired of traditional therapy, don’t wait… try Amanda! She will change your life! – Gary .

It took one visit for me to realize that Amanda was a godsend. It was a turning point in my life. Over the next few years, I experienced a lot of “aha” moments and Amanda guided me through them all. I’ve gained so many valuable lessons on: self-esteem, the ability to receive, confidence, letting emotions out, intimacy, communication, languages of love, knowing your value and much more.These lessons don’t come naturally in everyone’s life and there is no shame in seeking out assistance. Amanda’s technique was exactly what I needed. She is compassionate and helps you explore your situation and feelings, but she will be honest with you and challenge you in ways that will help you grow if you are open to it. – Al.

 

 

Are you ready to learn more and unlock a more satisfying experience?

BLISS: Proven Methods for Improving the Female Orgasm

 

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexible. Multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically-trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) that has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists help all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do

 

The Joy of Sunshine

The Joy of Sunshine

 

As soon as the sun starts shining, the world gets happier. Recently, it hit 60 degrees in New England, and everyone seemed more cheerful. I noticed more people smiling, individuals being friendly and courteous, and a diminished sense of “rushing” or “urgency” around me. I appreciated the sudden shift in energy and decided to explore this sunshine effect—the joy of sunshine that lifts spirits effortlessly.

My recent experience:

I was lucky to retreat to the beach recently. I went on a solo excursion to enjoy the peace of the water and bask in the glorious sunlight. Also I had some worries beforehand: the cost of getting in, the crowds, and my fear of bees. I chose to let go of those concerns and simply enjoy the opportunity—the joy of sunshine was calling me, and I wasn’t about to resist.

I arrived (free entry), made my way to the beach (barely anyone around), and relaxed (only flies… no bees). Then I looked around and appreciated the moment I was in. I felt grateful for the sun on my skin, having nothing to do but enjoy the sights, sounds, and feelings around me. Experiencing such a pure, unhurried moment reinforced the joy of sunshine and its ability to make simple days extraordinary. This sense of peace stayed with me all day. I never felt so calm and at ease as I did when I consciously stayed present in the sunlight.

Note to self: get out in the sun more often!

The science behind it:

People used to spend most of their time outdoors in sunlight. Today, we spend much more time indoors, missing the necessary Vitamin D. This vitamin is crucial for a strong immune system and bone growth. Sunlight also regulates circadian rhythms—the cycles of sleep and wakefulness. When sunlight hits our optic nerves, the brain slows melatonin release and boosts serotonin, the hormone responsible for happiness and alertness. After sunset, the cycle reverses. The more sun we get, the more serotonin our brains produce.

Sunlight = Happiness:

Beyond the science, sunlight has a psychological effect. We associate it with vacations, tanning, and days off. This creates a mental state that feels happier. Considering both the psychological and scientific aspects, it’s no wonder the world seems brighter when the sun comes out. Look forward to a summer of friendlier faces and the joy of sunshine in every little moment.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Chronic Complaining

Chronic Complaining

 

This trend must stop.

Numerous acquaintances come to me with their complaints and problems. And when they find the solutions, instead of solving them, they just keep complaining. Nothing is more frustrating than people who are negative, complain, and refuse to stand up for themselves to change the current pattern of their lives.

In the beginning, I would sit and listen. I would offer my services to listen or give them my perspective on the issue. After months of realizing people are complaining about the same issue and not doing anything about it. I have finally decided I am not going to use my time to enable constant complaining.

I feel blessed to have been raised in a family where complaining without action towards a solution was unacceptable. Also I have yet to meet anyone whose constant complaining has done anything positive to resolve the situation. I realize that having bitterness and aggravation towards life problems never gets anything done.

If someone tries to talk to you about his or her problems but refuse to make any changes, then you should refuse to listen to their complaining. It takes too much mental energy to try helping people who are not willing to help themselves.

If you have friends, co-workers, or family like this, it is time to stop the pattern. You must recognize that people who are chronic complainers are not going to take your advice, because they are stuck in the pattern of complaining. Let these people deal with their own stress and refuse to take it on as part of your life. You will be a much happier person if you keep yourself out of that dynamic.

 

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.

Happiness For Sale

Happiness For Sale

 

SALE! CLEARANCE! HUGE DISCOUNTS! SAVINGS UP TO 70% OFF!!

Did I get your attention? Probably….

Seriously… Stop buying things!

We all want more stuff… more new things bring us joy. How long does this joy last? Probably not that long. Research shows that happiness from purchases is fleeting. At first, I am really happy with my purchases. Then I get bored of them, they burden me, they no longer are new and pleasant, and I replace them, toss them away, donate them, or throw them back into the dresser until they are in style again. This is exactly the problem with the concept of happiness for sale—we’re chasing short-term thrills from material things.

Sometimes I clean to find that I have a brand new designer shirt crumpled in the corner of my closet. This irks me because in the store, this shirt was so exciting and called out to me. While handing my credit card over to the cashier, I didn’t realize the future of this shirt was to collect dust in the bottom corner of my closet and wrinkle itself into oblivion. What is even more unfortunate is that this has happened to me numerous times. A reality check like this reminds us that happiness for sale is often just an illusion.

My college professor in my “Consumer Society” course would cringe if she read this article. I got an A in the course, and I can’t even manage to stop buying things. I was literally trained in college not to prioritize material possessions. If I “know better” then how can I ever convince teenager girls or those around me to put their consumer ideas aside and stop purchasing unnecessarily? It’s going to be tough, but I am going to try… stay with me.

Remember that saying “less is more?”

Let’s try to apply it here. The more stuff you have, the harder it is to keep track of it. The more you bring into your house, the harder it will be to organize. All of this “stuff” becomes a burden… to clean, to wash, to organize, and to take up your time that you would utilize differently if you didn’t have so much stuff.

Easier said than done, I know. However, I found a way to curb the rush of the purchase. While doing a seasonal house cleanse, I realized that I get a rush out of getting rid of things. As I donated 10 bags of items, I felt the burden of these belongings lifting off my shoulders. I felt light and carefree. All of the sudden, I had a rush from the new space I had gained. I could dance around in my room if I wanted to. If you don’t want to donate your things, you could always sell them too. There definitely is a rush from selling belongings and getting money back from the consignment shop—but even then, you have to remember the fleeting nature of happiness for sale.

I don’t want to sell or donate. I just don’t want to purchase more.

Okay, if this describes you… you need to use your shopping time wisely. Instead of spending an afternoon alone in a store or with a friend at the mall, take some time and plan ahead. Research shows that people have much longer-lasting happiness from doing things! Doing things, rather than buying things, will give you memories to reminisce about and create longer-lasting feelings of happiness. So use your money wisely and plan an event. Don’t have money? Look at the event calendar in your town… there are plenty of things to do!

About Life Coaching and Therapy

Life Coaching and Therapy (LCAT) is a therapy and coaching practice that transforms our clients lives through our flexibility multi-technique approach and pleasure-skills training provided by systematically trained and licensed therapists!

Get to know our founder and owner, Amanda Pasciucco, (a.k.a. The Sex Healer) PhD, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST) who has developed innovative therapy programs and therapy videos that get results.

Our team of compassionate, licensed therapists and certified sex therapists helps all clients who visit us for a variety of personal, relationship, intimacy and sex problems.

LCAT provides on-site appointments, as well as video chat and text therapy programs.

Learn more about how LCAT can help improve your life at What We Do.